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Holding a grudge is when you harbor anger, bitterness, resentment, or other negative feelings long after someone has done something to hurt you. Usually, it’s in response to something that’s already occurred, other times a grudge may develop after simply perceiving that someone is against you or means you harm—whether or not they actually do. Grudges also often feature persistent rumination about the person and/or incident at the center of your ill-will.

If you’re still mad well after a precipitating incident, you may be holding on to those negative feelings for too long, sometimes well after other people typically would have let them go. You may remember multiple past bad acts and relive those experiences every time you think about or interact with that person—either making your displeasure abundantly clear to them or keeping your true feelings to yourself. You might be intentionally holding a grudge, but sometimes you aren’t even aware of it.

But whatever your intentions or the cause of your bitterness, holding a grudge can end up hurting you as much as the person who inspired it. Clinging to anger can impact you, emotionally, physically, and socially, so it’s important to learn to let go of your grudges and cope with anger in a healthier way.

Why We Hold Grudges

From early childhood on, holding a grudge is one way people respond to negative feelings and events. This reaction is particularly common when you think someone has done something intentionally, callously, or thoughtlessly to hurt you, especially if they don’t seem to care or make an attempt to apologize or make the situation right.

If you have low self-esteem, poor coping skills, were embarrassed by the hurt, and/or have a short temper you may be even more likely to hold a grudge.

While we all may fall into holding an occasional grudge, some people may be more prone to hanging on to resentments or anger than other people. Sometimes, holding grudges—and blaming others—may be a form of self-protection. In the same vein, some people may be more cognizant that they are stoking feelings of bitterness than others, who may be unaware of the role they play in keeping their anger alive. Lasting bitterness can grow from a variety of issues—large and small—as well.

For instance, holding a grudge may come about as a result of seemingly small slights, such as someone not picking you for a team, taking your preferred seat, not including you on a group text, not inviting you to an event, calling you by the wrong name, not noticing your new haircut, looking at you in a strange way, or even simply bumping into you.

Of course, resentments and prolonged anger more often spring from larger missteps, such as someone forgetting your birthday, not helping you when you need them, making a thoughtless or rude comment, or letting you down in another hurtful way. Grudges also naturally build from more egregious events like taking credit for your efforts at work, lying, false accusations, forgetting or ignoring something important, or making a pass at your significant other or the object of your crush.

Some grudges may be relatively short-lived, eventually getting resolved or simply fading away, while others can last a lifetime. However, while occasional anger, frustration, disappointment, disillusionment, feeling attacked, ignored, or let down, or other negative feelings towards others may be an unavoidable reality of life, coping with them in a positive way is imperative for healthy well-being—and holding grudges usually backfires on this front.

Is Holding a Grudge Harmful?

Essentially, holding a grudge isn’t good for you. It ensnares you in anger and makes you prone to persistent rumination rather than moving forward with your life. You might think that harboring ill-will harms the person you’re mad at, but ultimately you’re the one who suffers from it. Essentially, a grudge inhibits your ability to cope with or resolve your issue and keeps you stuck in the past—trapped in an unpleasant event or interaction that causes you distress.

The grudge doesn’t solve your problem and is highly unlikely to make you feel any better. While it is certainly unhealthy to not feel or fully process (and accept) your feelings, research shows that fixating on negative emotions rather than resolving them is also harmful—and can even make for an unpleasant demeanor and substantially erode your well-being.

Consider that the phrase “holding a grudge,” comes from the Old French word grouchier, which means “to grumble” and is related to the English word “grouch.” Related older English and German words have similar meanings that translate into “to complain,” “to wail,” “to grumble,” and “to cry out.”

Mental Health Effects

Grudge-holding can adversely impact your mental health in a variety of ways. Most importantly, harboring anger will, generally, just make you feel angrier. Instead of accepting and moving on from a negative experience or finding an acceptable resolution, holding on can trap you in a loop of resentment, bitterness, hopelessness, emptiness, or enragement.

Simply put, harboring negative feelings naturally makes you more exposed to these more unpleasant emotions and thoughts, which can skew your mindset toward negativity, either slowly or in a swift shift. And a focus on negativity can dampen your overall well-being.

Reliving the negative incident and emotions over and over can be upsetting, draining, and frustrating, as nothing gets resolved or changes, except, perhaps, that you end up feeling more enraged or hurt. In fact, studies show that ruminating about an unpleasant event makes it feel like the incident happened much more recently, despite the passage of time.

Additionally, if you ultimately exaggerate the experience or issue in your mind, which is fairly common, the act of holding the grudge may even become more painful than the event itself. And sadly, this is a self-inflicted wound that will likely just make you feel worse.

Built-up resentment and uncensored internal fury create the potential for added stress, worry, defensiveness, aggression, and negativity, which can also increase your propensity for mental health concerns, such as:

Researchers have shown that unhealthy emotional regulation, blaming others, suppressing emotions, and holding on to these negative feelings all beget more negative feelings. Forgiveness and acceptance, on the other hand, often lead to a more emotionally stable mindset, less stress, and healthier well-being.

Additionally, holding on to anger makes you more likely to fixate on revenge, including acts of aggression. Plus, living under stress leads to burnout.

Physical Health Effects

Studies show that holding on to anger rather than responding with forgiveness and/or moving on can have profound negative physical health effects as well, likely due to the added stress harboring grudges creates.

Chronic stress can cause a range of adverse health effects on the body, including on:

• Cardiovascular health
• Digestion
• Reproduction
• Sleep
• The immune system

Headaches, insomnia, upset stomachs, heart disease, and asthma are all known to occur more commonly in those living under high levels of stress, particularly for those that don’t respond well to change or difficult situations. Finding productive ways to release anger, frustration, and other forms of stress, such as letting go of grudges, may mitigate these symptoms.

Excess anger has also been shown to adversely impact cognition and executive function. In fact, one study found decision-making skills to become impaired in those with high levels of anger. Memory and perception of reality may also be negatively associated with holding grudges as well.

Social Effects

Holding grudges can have a big impact on your social life as well. Having a bitter reaction to hurtful situations can cause estrangement from family members, ruin friendships, or otherwise limit the number of people with whom you socialize.

However, it’s important to note that minimizing or ending some relationships, particularly if you deem them to be toxic to your well-being, could be a good thing.

Still, take time to assess if you may be overreacting or if another measure can be taken to heal the rift before you cut someone from your life. Also, consider that the impact of harboring resentments may spill over into multiple relationships beyond the person you’re mad at to include others who may disapprove of the fact that you won’t let go of your angry feelings.

For example, if you’re ultra-focused on the fact that your friend canceled your plans at the last minute, you may forget that they are usually very reliable, fail to empathize that they got overwhelmed at work, or not recall that you recently canceled on them, too.

Or you might miss that while your friend may occasionally be late or fail to show up, this issue has nothing to do with you—and that you don’t really want being mad about this unfortunate quality to derail your entire friendship. Additionally, if your partner did something truly hurtful, consider that only in forgiving them can you heal the relationship—assuming that’s what you want to do.

Also, if you have children, understand that you’re modeling this behavior. Routinely holding on to bitterness rather than processing negative feelings through forgiveness, acceptance, grieving, conflict resolution, or other healthier methods of coping teaches your kids to do the same.

Take the Anger Test

This short, free 21-item test measures a variety of symptoms and feelings associated with anger, such as anger about the present and future, anger towards the self, and hostile feelings toward others.

This anger quiz was medically reviewed by Rachel Goldman, PhD, FTOS.

Possible Benefits of a Grudge

While it’s clear that routinely harboring grudges has many pitfalls, it’s important to look at any possible benefits that might come with keeping these negative feelings around. Firstly, as noted above, it’s not ideal to just brush off your feelings or bury them, so, in some situations, it might be preferable to hold a grudge than to completely avoid your feelings.

While it’s usually better to deal with your feelings outright and, potentially, to discuss the matter directly with the person who upset you, holding a grudge may be more likely to get the ball rolling on those fronts than entirely ignoring a situation or your emotional response altogether. If temporarily holding a grudge gets you to call someone on behavior that hurt you or otherwise rectify a distressing situation, then there may be some good in the practice.

Often, people hold grudges when they feel someone has let them down. However, while it may be justifiable to be upset or resentful, as noted above, a healthier approach may be to address the situation head-on with the person in question, especially as misunderstandings or misplaced expectations are often the roots of these issues.

For example, sometimes someone does something (like bumping into you) that can have larger, unintended consequences (like you dropping your drink and spilling it all over your favorite skirt), which can make you hold a grudge even if being mad about the misstep seems a bit unfair—even if your skirt was ruined.

In this situation, you may not feel entirely vindicated or righteous in your anger but holding on to it may help you process the upsetting event. Keeping your grudge private may let you feel your anger without confronting the person you’re blaming, something you may not want to do if they aren’t really to blame.

This may not be an optimal way to cope with discomforting situations but may be preferable to overtly overreacting or accusing people of things they didn’t do.

Propensity to Hold Grudges

Research and anecdotal evidence alike point to the fact that some people are more inclined to hold grudges than others. People prone to jealousy, sensitivity, immaturity, negativity, and impulse control may be more apt to hold grudges. Cultural, lifestyle, parenting, environmental, genetic, and other factors may contribute to an individual person’s propensity to harbor resentments as well.

Those with certain personality types and traits may be more likely to engage in this response to angry or bitter feelings. In fact, those who are more empathetic, resilient, have a better ability to self-regulate, and have stronger coping skills are less likely to hold grudges. Interestingly, research also shows that certain lifestyle habits, including regular exercise, can also make you more amenable to forgiveness and flexibility.

Additionally, people who tend to be more irritable and emotionally volatile are more likely to harbor angry feelings and blame others rather than consider their own responsibility in a situation as well. In fact, people with a variety of different mental health conditions, including attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), are more likely to exhibit behaviors rooted in anger and irritability that may make them more prone to hold grudges.

Ultimately, some people may just be wired (or work hard) to rebound from hurts or deal with them directly, while others are more apt to become embittered. Some of this variance may be out of your control, but there are also strategies people can take to develop healthier anger management and coping mechanisms.

Holding a Grudge vs. Healthy Coping

So, how do you know when you’re holding a grudge rather than when you are simply feeling appropriately angry about something? The difference is that healthy anger typically dissipates with time and/or appropriate resolutions, such as talking it out, getting an apology, resolving a misunderstanding, reaching acceptance, and/or ending the relationship. In contrast, holding a grudge entails the opposite—not letting go or accepting a resolution of any kind.

Another strategy is to notice if you feel better or worse after thinking or talking about what happened. If it’s the latter then you may be processing your feelings in a productive way. However, if you feel more distressed, overwhelmed, or worked up after going over the events in your mind or discussing the issue, then you may be creating a grudge rather than coping in a healthy manner.

If you’re not sure, consider if a friend described what happened but as if it happened to them as well as your response, would you still feel as embittered if it wasn’t about you? Also, think about whether you would feel comfortable (or embarrassed) telling someone close to you about your internal thoughts regarding the grudge. Think about if you believe they would think your reaction was justified or an overreaction.

Tips For Letting Grudges Go

If you find that you’re holding on to bitterness and grudges rather than letting them go, it may be helpful to talk to a counselor—or even to a friend or loved one, as noted above. Getting out of your head can help you clear the air and come up with a plan to seek a better resolution. Talking through your conflicts with a therapist can give you insights into why you hold grudges and help you develop the skills to respond more effectively to difficult or hurtful situations.

Additionally, before you jump to conclusions or condemn someone’s behavior, it can help to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Consider that your worst suspicions may not be entirely accurate. In fact, often someone else’s negative actions aren’t about you at all. Maybe they were just having a really bad day. Maybe they misunderstood what you were hoping they would do, or bad luck piled up despite their good intentions.

Invest time in learning and practicing positive coping skills, such as truly forgiving those that have hurt you and practicing healthy stress management techniques, including:

• Accepting what happened, your feelings, and what you can do to make amends
• Considering your own role and what you could have, and might do, differently
• Cultivating empathy, for yourself (and the target of your grudge)
• Distracting yourself—watch a movie, read a book, draw, or anything that you enjoy that gets your mind off of what’s bothering you
• Doing yoga
• Exercising
• Focusing on the positive
• Getting enough sleep
• Learning anger management skills
• Letting go of the past
• Listening to the other person’s perspective
• Living in the present moment (or mindfulness)
• Making a plan for closure that considers both sides
• Mediating
• Practicing restorative breathing
• Rather than judging your feelings, accepting and processing them
• Saying (or texting, writing, or emailing) what you need to say to the object of your grudge
• Setting healthy boundaries
• Spending time with loved ones or a pet
• Talking with supportive friends
• Writing down your feelings

Ultimately, while it’s important to process grudge-worthy emotions, holding on to those feelings is typically unhealthy for all involved. Rushing to forgiveness or avoiding dealing with uncomfortable situations aren’t good solutions either.

Instead, aim to sort through difficult events and feelings, while, if needed, giving yourself a little time to grieve, be mad, or wallow. Just don’t let your methods of coping with the upsetting incident become a long-lasting state of being. Rather, aim to work through the issue, resolve it, and move on.

Emotional shock is a reaction that you may have to an unexpected event or traumatic incident that upsets you and makes it hard for you to function.

When faced with an intense stressor, you may experience a rush of overwhelming emotions that you aren‘t ready to understand or respond to, which can cause your body to go into a state of shock, says Aimee Daramus, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist.

Emotional shock is often part of the fight or flight response, a normal but painful way your brain reacts to something it sees as a threat to your well-being, according to Dr. Daramus. When your brain is unable to process the situation, it freezes in an effort to protect your mind and body.

This article explores the causes and symptoms of emotional shock, as well as treatment options and coping strategies.

Symptoms of Emotional Shock

Emotional shock may be accompanied by a range of physical and emotional symptoms.

According to Dr. Daramus, the symptoms of emotional shock can include:

• Denial
• Numbness 
• Disassociation
• Panic
• Anger
• Breathlessness  
• Headache
• Nausea
• Dizziness 
• Lightheadedness 
• Muscle tension
• Increased heart rate
• Tightness in the throat or chest
• Inability to speak or move
• Difficulty rationalizing, thinking, or planning
• Loss of interest in surroundings
• Inability to express emotion

Causes of Emotional Shock

You may experience emotional shock in the wake of an event that suddenly changes your world. It could be an event that affects you or those close to you, such as your parents, spouse, children, or close friends.

Some of the causes of emotional shock can include:

Diagnosing Emotional Shock

People experience emotional shock for varying amounts of time. Depending on its severity and the circumstances, it may dissipate on its own within minutes or may persist for longer. It can lead to acute stress disorder (ASD) or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

If emotional shock persists or causes discomfort, it can be helpful to visit a licensed mental health professional or medical professional. They can assess your symptoms, conduct any physical or psychological tests required, diagnose your condition, evaluate its severity, refer you to a specialist if necessary, and develop a treatment plan for you.

Treatment for Emotional Shock

Emotional shock in the wake of a traumatic event can be treated with therapy, particularly if you develop PTSD. Some of the forms of therapy that can treat PTSD include:

• Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT): ACT can help you experience your emotions and accept them, instead of trying to escape or avoid them.
• Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT): CBT can help challenge unhelpful thought patterns and correct problematic behaviors.
• Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT): DBT can help you regulate your emotions and increase mindfulness.
• Exposure therapy (ET): ET involves revisiting the situation and confronting your fears until you have processed the situation and are not scared of it anymore.
• Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): Primarily designed for children and adolescents, TF-CBT can help them process the event and work through their emotional reactions.

Coping With Emotional Shock

Dr. Daramus suggests some strategies that can help you cope with emotional shock and restore your sense of equilibrium:

• Surround yourself with supportive people.
• Go somewhere where you feel safe.
• Make sure you eat and stay hydrated. Take good care of yourself or let others take care of you. 
• Seek comfort from pets or familiar, comforting objects.
• Distract yourself with games like Tetris or video games, as they take a lot of attention and concentration and can help you manage your thoughts.
• Accept that you won’t be functioning normally right now because your mind and body already have a big job to handle.
• Don‘t try to talk about the situation or process it while you‘re still overwhelmed. That could make it worse because your mind and body are already telling you that this is too much.
• Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Respect where you‘re at and let safe spaces, people, and comforting objects ease you out of it in a non-pressuring way.

Humility is the ability to accurately view your talents and flaws while being void of arrogance. Some believe that being humble means having low self-esteem and a lack of confidence, but it’s the opposite. Humility is having the self-esteem to understand that even though you are doing well, you do not have to brag or gloat about it. 

Learn why it’s important to be humble, along with ways to show your humility. We also discuss the importance of humility or being humbled, as well as why this particular character trait is often undervalued.

Benefits of Being Humble

It is important to stay humble, or in some cases be humbled, because having humility not only helps you develop a more kind approach to interacting with others but also influences how you perceive yourself and the world around you.

Strengthens Connection With Others

Humility helps one extend more empathy and compassion to others. Those who are humble are more likely to consider others’ beliefs and opinions. This is most likely because humility offers the opportunity to become less self-involved and more attuned to the feelings of others.

Broaden’s Perspective of Self

Humility also aids in the development of self-awareness and self-growth. How? Being humble allows one to rationally acknowledge ways they can improve themselves.

Broaden’s Perspective of the World

Humility can help you develop a more profound and evolved outlook of the world and what is going on in it. This trait allows you to consciously be aware that you bring worth to this world but, at the same time, there are many others in the world who also have a purpose. 

Strengthens Spirituality, Religion, and Well-Being

Being humble is also considered a religious virtue. There is a correlation between humility, positive well-being, religion, and spirituality. 

Improves Mental Health

Research has found that being humble offers both physical and mental health benefits. Specifically, people who are humble tend to have greater happiness and life satisfaction while also experiencing less depression and anxiety. It is believed that this is because humility buffers the effects of stress on well-being.

How to Be More Humble

Let’s take a look at ways in which you can learn to be more humble.

Don’t Confuse Pride With Prideful

Most would consider humility the antonym of pride and may associate pride as being a bad trait to possess. Pride is not a negative thing—it is actually quite important. Pride involves being proud and there is nothing wrong with being proud of yourself or where you come from.

However, if pride becomes extreme, this is when humility is absent and a person may exhibit selfish or narcissistic behaviors. If a person begins to think they are better than others and only makes decisions based on what’s best for them, they are considered self-centered and prideful. 

Obsessive pride makes it difficult to be considerate to others or form genuine relationships. People who are too prideful may not notice or realize that there are areas in which they can improve. Prideful people may also find it difficult to be self-aware when they are in the wrong.

Do Some Soul Searching

Those who are prideful can display a cockiness that stems from unidentified insecurities. Overly high self-esteem is not actually confidence but, in fact, repressed negative emotions toward oneself.

Give Out Compliments When You Can

Acknowledging the achievements and accomplishments of others can help you move the attention off yourself a bit. Focusing on the feelings of others sometimes helps you get out of yourself more.

Compliment others for jobs well done. Every now and then, we all need to hear that we’re on the right track. So, be the person who assures someone they’re doing OK.

Don’t Be a Pushover

Don’t confuse humility with compliance. Holding people in high regard and giving them your consideration does not mean you must allow them to walk all over you.

You should always stand up for yourself and what you believe and do your best no matter what. The point of humility is that you do not have to make someone feel worthless while doing so. This doesn’t mean becoming a pushover though.

Humility Is Underrated

Many people do not realize how essential it is to be humble. This may be because they do not fully understand the concept or have yet to learn what it means to be humble.

After coming across a survey evaluating life satisfaction in middle-aged adults, experts in positive psychology found it concerning that humility and modesty were not highly recognized character traits that equated to life satisfaction. This caused them to reflect on America’s culture and how we view traits such as humility. 

In a communist society, individuals embed a “survivor of the fittest” mindset, in which the stronger and better reach the top. So, people are forced to develop a “ look out for your own” viewpoint. People are exposed to consistent competition as children, competing for attention in academia, athletics, and the home. In adulthood, this competitive nature rears its head in career settings.

In an older study involving undergraduate students, humility was not viewed as a quality necessary for entertainers or leaders. This makes it difficult to understand the need for humility not just in how we engage with each other, but in how we view the world.

Gestalt therapy is a form of psychotherapy that focuses on a person’s present life rather than delving into their past experiences. This form of therapy stresses the importance of understanding the context of a person’s life when considering the challenges they face. It also involves taking responsibility rather than placing blame.

Gestalt, by definition, refers to the form or shape of something and suggests that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. There is an emphasis on perception in this particular theory of counseling. Gestalt therapy gives attention to how we place meaning and make sense of our world and our experiences.

Gestalt therapy was developed by Fritz Perls, with the help of his wife at the time, Laura Perls, and introduced in the 1940s as an alternative to more traditional psychoanalysis. Both Fritz and Laura were trained in psychoanalysis and gestalt psychology.

Along with others, such as Paul Goodman, they worked together to develop a style of therapy that was humanistic in nature. In other words, the approach focused on the person and the uniqueness of their experience.

What Are the Pillars of Gestalt Therapy?

There are a number of principle ideas that come into play with gestalt therapy, from perception to self-awareness.

Experience Influences Perception

In this client-centered approach to therapy, the gestalt therapist understands that no one can be fully objective and that we are influenced by our environment and our experiences. A therapist trained in gestalt therapy holds space for their clients to share their truth, not imposing their judgment and accepting the truth of their clients’ experiences.

Since therapists are human as well, it is important for gestalt therapists to consider the influence of their own experiences on what is happening in the session.

Context Matters

When in session, gestalt therapists want to learn about the experience of their clients. It is understood that context matters and the therapists use techniques to help the client become more aware of their experiences, their perceptions, and their responses to events in the here and now.

Rather than specifically targeting the past and asking clients to purposefully bring up old experiences, gestalt therapists operate from a place of understanding that as clients become increasingly aware, they will overcome existing roadblocks. There is no forced work or technique, just holding space for client awareness is key in this approach.

The Present

The main hallmark of gestalt therapy is the focus on the present. In the session, the client and therapist rapport is critical in building trust and safety. As the client shares, a gestalt therapist will help bring the client back to the present if there is a sense they are spending too much time in the past or if their anxiety may be speeding them into the future.

Working Through Pain

We work very hard to survive painful experiences, and part of this survival may include shutting down our emotional hurt or painful memory of the event. In gestalt therapy, you are offered a space where you don’t have to do that hard work anymore.

This isn’t to suggest that things will come up quickly, but they don’t have to. A gestalt therapist understands that things such as painful memories or events will come to awareness when the client is ready for healing in that area.

Self-Awareness

During gestalt therapy, there may be some experiential exercises that you will do with your therapist. Experiential exercise refers to therapeutic activities done in therapy that can help to increase awareness and help with processing. At the heart of gestalt therapy is awareness. As Frederick Salomon Perls put it, “Awareness in itself is healing.”

Rather than sitting still and talking, you may be asked to actively participate in something like role play, guided imagery, or the use of props to help communication and understanding. Engaging in experiential exercises can be a wonderful way to open up and share, especially when it is difficult to find words or when you tend to process in a more visual way. Gestalt therapists understand that these exercises help to increase awareness.

Techniques

Some therapy approaches tend to focus on the therapist as an expert on distress and symptoms. The client has more of a learning role, as the therapist shares their knowledge about what they are experiencing and how to heal.

Within gestalt therapy, the client has space to safely explore their experiences without fear of judgment. In fact, the client is encouraged to not simply talk about their emotions or experiences, but to bring them into the room so they can be processed in real-time with the therapist.

The therapist may guide you using several techniques.

Words and Language

Attention to language and tone is important in gestalt therapy. As clients learn to accept responsibility, they learn to use language that reflects a sense of personal ownership rather than focusing on others. For example, rather than saying, “If he didn’t do that I wouldn’t get so mad!” a client might be encouraged to say, “I feel mad when he does that because it makes me feel insignificant and I don’t like that.”

The use of “I” statements is important in gestalt therapy.

Empty Chair

This is a role-playing exercise that allows a client to imagine and participate in a conversation with another person or another part of themselves. Sitting across from the empty chair, the client enters into a dialogue as if they were speaking with that other person or that other part of themselves.

The empty chair exercise can be very helpful in drawing out important perceptions, meanings, and other information that can help clients become more aware of their emotional experience and how to start healing.

Role Play

Another example of role-playing might be what is referred to as “top dog and underdog.” In this, it is recognized that a client has different parts of self. Similar to the empty chair, the client speaks as both the top dog, which is the more demanding side of their personality and the underdog, which is the more submissive and obedient side of their personality.

The key is to become aware of inner conflicts so that the person can better learn how to integrate these parts of self into a more complete whole.

Body Language

During a session, a gestalt therapist will observe the client’s body language and movement such as tapping their foot, wringing their hands, or making a certain facial expression. The therapist is likely to mention their observation of this and ask what is happening for the person at that moment.

Incorporating language, the gestalt therapist may even ask the client to give their foot, hands, or facial expression a voice and speak from that place.

Exaggeration

In addition to giving body language a voice, a gestalt therapist may inquire about the client’s body language. If it is difficult for the client to find words to put to what is happening, they may be asked to exaggerate that motion or repeat it several times in a row for a period of time during the session to draw out some of their experience at that moment.

The client and the therapist get a chance to process emotions and how the person might have learned to disconnect their emotional experiences with their physical experiences.

Locating Emotion

During a session, it is common for people to talk about emotion. Talking about emotion is different than experiencing an emotion. As a client talks about emotion, the therapist may ask them where they feel that emotion in their body.

Examples of how a person might describe how they’re experiencing emotion in their body include “a pit in my stomach” or “my chest feels tight.” Being able to bring the emotional experience to awareness in the body helps the client stay present and process their emotions more effectively.

Creative Arts

Additional activities such as painting, sculpting, and drawing can also be used to help people gain awareness, stay present, and learn how to process the moment. It is generally noted in this style that any technique that can be offered to the client, other than traditional sitting still and talking, can be helpful in allowing them to become more aware of themselves, their experiences, and their process of healing.

What Gestalt Therapy Can Help With

There are a variety of conditions that gestalt therapy may be used to treat, including:

Benefits of Gestalt Therapy

Some of the potential benefits of gestalt therapy include:

• An improved sense of self-control
• Better ability to monitor and regulate mental states
• Better awareness of your needs
• Better tolerance for negative emotions
• Improved communication skills
• Improved mindfulness
• Increased emotional understanding

Staying Present

Gestalt therapy aims for the client to gain greater awareness of their experience of being in the world. Gestalt therapists do not have a goal of changing their clients. In fact, clients are encouraged to focus on becoming more aware of themselves, staying present, and processing things in the here and now.

Self-Awareness and Growth

It is suggested that the way we learn how to survive experiences, particularly painful experiences, is to create blocks or push things out of awareness so that we can move forward. As effective as it may seem, it can create trouble for us as we become more compartmentalized and fragmented in our sense of self and our experiences.

The very techniques we once used to help ourselves become blocks to self-awareness and growth. Increasing client awareness allows for these blocks to be identified, properly challenged, and moved out of the way so we can find healing and personal growth.

Personal Responsibility

A key goal in gestalt therapy is to give clients the opportunity to own and accept their experiences. In blaming others, we lose our sense of control and become victims of the event or the others involved in the event. Gestalt therapy encourages clients to challenge those old ways of how we may have created meaning about an experience.

Learning how to accept and embrace personal responsibility is a goal of gestalt therapy, allowing clients to gain a greater sense of control in their experiences and to learn how to better regulate their emotions and interactions with the world.

Self-Regulation and Growth

Gestalt therapy suggests that people strive for self-regulation and growth but that they sometimes develop maladaptive techniques to survive painful experiences. Some of these techniques feel helpful in the short term because they can help minimize our pain or distress.

However, over the long term, they leave us in more emotionally shaky places, unable to express ourselves. We may find it hard to interact with others, and difficult to learn how to effectively regulate ourselves and be whole, responsible beings.

Effectiveness

Research suggests that gestalt therapy can be effective for treating a variety of conditions including anxiety and personality disorders and is at least as effective as other psychotherapy approaches.

• One study on people with anxiety in Hong Kong found that four weeks of gestalt therapy resulted in lower levels of anxiety, less avoidance of inner experience, and more mindfulness and kindness toward oneself. Self-judgment was not influenced, however.
• Several studies have tested gestalt therapy in women with depression and found the treatment to be as effective as cognitive therapy and more effective than drug therapy in treating symptoms of depression.
• A study on divorced women found that 12 sessions of gestalt therapy improved the women’s self-efficacy, or ability to cope.
• One study on individuals with bipolar disorder found gestalt therapy to be an effective outpatient treatment for not only improving symptoms of the disorder but helping individuals to improve in their social, work, and school lives.

Things to Consider

Gestalt therapy has both some pluses and minuses. Two potential weaknesses of gestalt therapy are that it requires a therapist to have a high degree of personal development and knowledge and it only focuses on the present. Therapists who don’t have a deep understanding of the theory behind gestalt therapy may be tempted to utilize its techniques and exercises haphazardly, which isn’t likely to serve the client’s needs.

How to Get Started

If you think you or someone you love would benefit from gestalt therapy, consider the following steps:

• Get a recommendation. Ask your primary care doctor or mental health professional to refer you to a therapist certified in gestalt therapy.
• Inquire about cost. If gestalt therapy is not covered by your health insurance, ask the potential therapist about their fees per session and whether they offer a sliding scale, or pricing based on a person’s income.
• Be prepared to answer questions about the present moment. Expect the therapist to ask you about your experience in the present moment. For example, your therapist may start the session by asking: “What are you aware of right now?”

We already know that music can have a major impact on our mood. Fast beats pump us up and motivate us to work out, slow songs make us feel wistful and melancholic, and soothing music helps us drift off to sleep.

And what is music, but a collection of sounds? Sounds have vibrations that affect us on a neurological, physiological, and biochemical level.

Sound healing is an ancient practice that harnesses the power of sound vibrations to promote healing and relaxation.

If you’ve come across the concept of sound healing or if you’re thinking of doing a session, you’re probably wondering what it involves and what to expect.

What Exactly Does a Sound Healing Session Involve?

Sound healing sessions are often referred to as sound baths because the idea is to bathe in the sounds and let them wash over you.

“A sound bath is a deeply immersive, full-body listening experience that uses sound and simple mindfulness techniques to invite gentle yet powerful therapeutic and restorative processes to the mind and body,” says Sara Auster, a sound therapist, meditation teacher, and author of “Sound Bath: Meditate, Heal, and Connect Through Listening.

Sound healing sessions can be private or as part of a group. Each person sits or lies down on a yoga mat or meditation carpet. The therapist may offer you an eye mask, neck pillow, cushion, or blanket, to help you get comfortable.

Auster explains that over the course of the session, the therapist will guide you to focus on sounds like their voice, your breath, and a variety of overtone-emitting instruments, such as:

• Chimes
• Tuning forks
• Gongs (sessions using only gongs are known as gong baths)
• Shruti boxes (small bellows-operated musical instruments with reeds)
• Himalayan singing bowls (metal bowls)
• Crystal singing bowls (crystal/glass bowls)
• Monochords 

The sounds aren’t melodious like music, so you’ll be disappointed if you’re expecting a harmonious symphony. However, the sounds are pretty powerful and if you concentrate, you can often feel them as well as hear them.

While sound healing often creates a deep sense of relaxation, it can sometimes get pretty intense. You might find yourself feeling happy, angry, sad, or upset about the thoughts or memories that come up for you. It’s also totally fine to cry during the session. In fact, it can be quite cathartic.

Each session can last up to an hour. After the session, the therapist will guide you to sit up into a comfortable position and drink some water, to help you stay hydrated.

How Does Sound Healing Work Scientifically?

Sound impacts us on an elemental level. In fact, research shows us that sounds consist of vibrations that affect us on a cellular level, impacting brain, nerve, muscle, and organ function.

For instance, the sound of nails screeching on a chalkboard sets our teeth on edge and raises the hair on the back of our necks; whereas, a loud crash startles us, causing us to jump in fear. However, the sound of the waves soothes us and a melodious chime puts us in a good mood. These reactions involve neural, physiological, and biochemical reactions within the body, as our minds and bodies sync to the vibrations of the sound.

Sound healing aims to channel the power of these sound vibrations, for relaxation and healing. 

What Does Sound Healing Do?

Research shows us that sound healing might be able to help with:

• Anxiety
• Depression
• Stress
• Fatigue
• Chronic pain
• Cognition and memory
• Overall mental and spiritual well-being

Sound healing can also be a form of self-care. A sound bath is a great way to relax, decompress, and focus on listening in order to connect to the present moment, says Auster.

Why Is Sound Healing So Popular Today?

Sound healing is a form of therapy that seems to have been practiced across almost every ancient civilization. 

It’s gaining popularity today as there is a growing interest in holistic, alternative wellness practices around the world. Like with many alternative practices, a major plus point is that it’s a non-invasive, drug-free approach to better health and well-being.

Besides, emerging research is also helping us understand it and its benefits better.

Most importantly, it’s a calming and soothing experience. Our lives can often get stressful and chaotic, so being able to relax, meditate, connect with ourselves, and release any pent-up emotions can be really refreshing and rejuvenating.

Safety Considerations and Guidelines

These are some guidelines that can help you practice sound healing safely and comfortably:

• Explore your options: It can be helpful to explore different types of sound healing sessions to find out what they involve. Educating yourself about different methods and techniques used during sound baths can help you determine which one is right for you, says Auster. Remember that if not in person, you can also attend live sound healing sessions online or find pre-recorded programs.
• Consult your healthcare provider: If you have any concerns about your health or your physical and emotional safety during a sound healing session, Auster recommends consulting your medical provider before you attend one.
• Find a qualified practitioner: It’s important to work with a qualified practitioner who has experience with the kind of healing you’re seeking. Auster suggests asking your practitioner about their training, background, and the types of sessions they conduct. “If you have any particular questions or concerns feel free to reach out to the practitioner in advance of your experience.”
• Dress comfortably: Comfort is key to relaxing during the session. Auster recommends wearing loungewear or anything else you’re comfortable in. You can also choose to carry items like a blanket, cushion, or eye mask to the session, if they won’t be provided.
• Make sure it’s a safe environment: Make sure you’re comfortable with the sound therapist and the environment. Auster says sound can deeply affect your nervous system—and there are both harmful and beneficial ways in which this can happen—so it’s critical that you’re in a safe environment during this experience.