Posts in category: Dating Tips, Guide and Advice

If you have borderline personality disorder (BPD), your emotions can be overwhelming. Symptoms of BPD, include erratic mood shifts, self-harming behaviors, suicidality, intense emotional experiences, sensitivity to problems in your relationships, and problems with impulsive behaviors. These symptoms may all be related to one core feature: emotion dysregulation.

Because of emotion dysregulation, you may have very strong emotional responses and difficulty managing those responses. Unfortunately, many people with BPD turn to unhealthy behaviors to cope with emotional pain, such as violence, self-harm, or substance abuse.

This article discusses coping skills that can help to reduce emotion dysregulation and other symptoms of BPD.

Benefits of Coping Skills

Since emotion dysregulation is such an important feature of BPD, many treatments for this personality disorder emphasize the importance of building coping skills to better manage emotions when they arise.

What exactly are coping skills? They are healthier ways of addressing situations and their resulting emotions.

Learning new ways to cope provides possible benefits. These techniques may:

• Build confidence in your ability to handle difficult situations
• Improve your ability to be able to continue to function well even when in stressful circumstances
• Reduce the intensity of the emotional distress you feel
• Reduce the likelihood that you will do something harmful (e.g., engage in self-harming behaviors) to attempt to escape from the emotional distress
• Reduce the likelihood that you will engage in behaviors that destroy relationships (e.g., physical aggression) when you are upset
• Ultimately reduce your overall experience of emotion dysregulation

There are literally thousands of different coping skills that people use to manage stressful situations and the emotions that result. Here are a few types of coping skills that work for many people.

Play Music

Music can be a helpful way to explore emotions. This can be particularly helpful when people are not really quite sure to describe what they are feeling.

Research has also supported the idea that music can make a difference in mood. For example, when people are experiencing feelings of sadness, they tend to prefer somber music.

One study published in the Journal of Positive Psychology found that listening to upbeat songs can help improve people’s moods and increase happiness.

Exercise

Exercise can have a positive impact on mood and emotion. One 2022 study in pre-print found that physical activity could effectively improve emotional regulation ability. However, the researchers noted that the duration of exercise sessions might impact the effects.

However, another study looking specifically at BPD found that a single 20-minute exercise session did not significantly impact negative affect in BPD.

More research is needed to understand how exercise affects emotional regulation in people with borderline personality disorder. Regular exercise can be a useful coping skill when struggling with difficult emotions.

Engage in an Activity

Behavioral activiation is a strategy that involves changing the behaviors that play a role in feeding emotional responses. It is often used in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) to help people with depression, but it can also help people with borderline personality disorder.

Researchers suggest that people with BPD engage in maladaptive behaviors in response to life’s challenges. Utilizing behavioral activation may help people with the condition develop more effective coping strategies that aid in emotional regulation.

To utilize behavioral activation, engage in a highly engaging activity when you are having trouble managing your emotions. Television or computer activities do not count here—these are too passive.

Find Support

One study found that social support could be essential in mediating symptoms of perceived stress and depression in people with BPD. 

Unfortunately, people with borderline personality disorder often experience a range of social disadvantages and relationship problems.

People with BPD have poorer social support, more frequent negative interactions with others, and worse integration within their social network. Poor relationships and early trauma are also believed to contribute to the condition’s development. 

If you have BPD, take steps such as:

• Spending time with others
• Working on your relationship skills
• Seek professional treatment to improve your relationship skills

Reaching out to others can help when you are struggling with strong emotions. Call a supportive friend or family member. Call a helpline if you don’t have someone in mind that is supportive and you are in a crisis.

Follow Now: Apple Podcasts / Spotify / Google Podcasts / Amazon Music

Ride It Out

The ability to control impulsive behaviors is an essential part of emotional regulation. People with BPD, however, often struggle to do this effectively. Building your ability to tolerate distress and ride out an emotion until it passes can help prevent emotional outbursts from happening.

With practice, you can build your distress tolerance skills:

• Be aware of the emotion and try to identify what you are feeling
• Remind yourself that what you are feeling won’t last forever
• Accept what you are feeling
• Remember that your thoughts don’t dictate your actions

Be Mindful

Mindfulness involves focusing fully on the present moment while calmly accepting your own thoughts and feelings. This practice is a core component of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), a type of therapy that was specifically developed to treat borderline personality disorder.

You can become more aware of your internal states by learning to be more mindful. By better understanding your feelings, you can also become more aware of automatic negative thoughts that often contribute to emotional problems and impulsive behavior. 

Ground Yourself

Grounding is a strategy that can help you cope with feelings of distress and anxiety. If you feel overwhelmed by emotions, grounding techniques can help put your mind back in the here and now.

When emotions seem to be taking you out of the current moment, such as when you start feeling “zoned out,” do something to ground yourself. Grab an ice cube and hold it in your hand for a few moments or snap a rubber band against your wrist to bring yourself out of negative thoughts.

Other sensory-based grounding techniques can include holding an object, listening to noises in your environment, smelling flowers or food, or taking a warm bath.

Breathe Deeply

Deep breathing can significantly impact emotions, mood, and anxiety levels. Research suggests that utilizing deep breathing strategies can help decrease acute distress and promote long-term well-being. This technique is often utilized as part of distress tolerance skills practiced in DBT.

Breathing deeply is one of the simplest relaxation methods. Sit or lie somewhere quiet and bring your attention to your breathing. Breathe evenly, slowly, and deeply. Watch your stomach rise and fall with each breath. This can help you stay grounded in the present.

Pray

Are you a religious or spiritual person? If you are or have considered attending religious ceremonies, praying and attending weekly congregations can be tremendously helpful in times of extreme stress.

Research has found that spirituality may positively impact coping, emotions, and well-being. In one study, people who had regular spiritual experiences had fewer negative emotions and more positive feelings.

Help Someone Else

Helping others can not only help you feel good; it can also distract you from feelings of stress. One study found that people who engaged in regular acts of kindness experienced less stress and negativity.

Do something nice for someone else. It doesn’t have to be something big; you can walk to the nearest store, buy a pack of gum, smile at the cashier, and say, “Have a great day.”

How to Learn BPD Coping Skills

Ready to learn some new, healthier ways of coping? One way to do this is by seeking treatment. Many psychological treatments for BPD, including cognitive behavioral treatments such as dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), focus on teaching healthier coping skills to manage strong emotions.

There are online resource pages that can help you find a cognitive behavioral therapist or a DBT provider.

Caffeine addiction is the excessive and harmful use of caffeine over a period of time, such that it has negative effects on your health, social interactions, or other areas of your life.

Coffee and other caffeinated products can create a physical dependence, leading to chemical changes in the brain. Daily consumption can quickly lead to a caffeine addiction, characterized by cravings and withdrawal symptoms if intake is reduced or ceased.

To be clear, caffeine has been associated with many positive side effects. Research has connected this plant-derived stimulant to improved mood, relief from headaches, and perhaps a reduced risk of other major medical issues such as strokes, Parkinson’s, and Alzheimer’s. Large studies that tracked people over time found that coffee drinkers were less likely to die during follow-up.

Yet, some people experience negative issues due to caffeine use or have difficulty coping without caffeine. Though rare, there have even been cases of caffeine overdose.

What Is Caffeine Addiction?

Caffeine affects the brain’s reward system, which triggers the release of a chemical called dopamine. Dopamine causes people to feel good, creating a reward cycle that motivates them to keep consuming it and experiencing that same level of reinforcement.

It also causes physiological dependence, which means that when you reduce or stop your caffeine intake, you will likely experience withdrawal symptoms like tiredness, headaches, and irritability.

Caffeine is the most widely used drug worldwide. Coffee and soda are the top caffeine sources in the United States, whereas African and Asian countries consume them in soda and tea. Caffeine is also present in many common foods (almost anything with chocolate), making it easy to over-consume.

While caffeinated products like coffee, soda, and energy drinks are less reinforcing than other addictive substances, that does not mean they don’t have potential adverse health effects.

Symptoms of Caffeine Addiction

Although caffeine addiction is not a formally recognized condition in the “Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5),” a manual used by clinicians to classify and diagnose mental health concerns, the publication mentions some caffeine-related issues, such as intoxication and withdrawal.

As caffeine is a stimulant, consuming too much can cause a cluster of symptoms associated with brain and nervous system stimulation. These symptoms include:

• Dizziness
• Feeling shaky
• Headache
• Increased blood pressure
• Nervousness
• Racing heart, or other heartbeat abnormalities
• Sleep issues

This type of addiction can even overlap with work addiction, as some people use the stimulating effects of this substance to perform better at their job mentally and/or physically.

As with all addictions, the pleasurable effects of caffeine can also sometimes mask other issues. Lack of energy and depression may underlie caffeine addiction. People may rely on caffeine to compensate for sleep disorders.

How Caffeine Can Negatively Affect Your Health

Caffeine has various effects on the body that are potentially harmful to your health. Caffeine has been associated with increased blood pressure and heart rhythm changes.

Some caffeinated products, such as coffee and soda, can cause gastrointestinal disturbances.

There is also a question of whether caffeine might increase your risk of osteoporosis. One study found this to be the case for women in menopause with high caffeine intake.

When you are sleep deprived, it makes it harder to function efficiently during the day. Sleep is also when your body heals, making it essential for total health and immune function.

Excessive caffeine intake can also have an impact on mental health. Increased anxiety can occur, particularly in those sensitive to caffeine’s effects or who have a previously existing anxiety disorder. 

Some research has shown that caffeine may be linked to symptoms of psychosis and mania in people who have psychotic disorders or mood conditions.

Symptoms of Caffeine Withdrawal

Just as taking in too much caffeine can present issues, so can suddenly removing it from your diet. This can result in caffeine withdrawal, which produces symptoms that are the opposite of consuming too much. This effect can be especially profound in people who are addicted to caffeine.

Other symptoms associated with trying to cut back your caffeine habit or missing your daily “dose” are:

Occasionally, people withdrawing from caffeine also experience flu-like symptoms, such as nausea as well as mood changes.

Caffeine Addiction and Other Conditions

The stimulating effects of caffeine can sometimes cause physical symptoms and behaviors that look and feel like—and therefore be easily confused with—other disorders. Therefore, it is important to let your doctor or mental health clinicians know how much caffeine you are consuming if you are being assessed for any condition.

Anxiety Disorders

For example, caffeine intoxication produces symptoms that can easily be confused with anxiety disorders, such as panic attacks. Too much caffeine can also worsen symptoms of these disorders by intensifying feelings of worry, causing racing thoughts, increasing heart rate, and preventing relaxation and good-quality sleep.

Other Conditions

People who are overstimulated with caffeine can also exhibit symptoms consistent with attention deficit disorders. Conversely, caffeine withdrawal shares similar symptoms with mood disorders. Other health concerns that can be confused with caffeine intoxication include:

Substance Use

It can also be mistaken for and worsen symptoms of withdrawal from other substances, such as amphetamines and cocaine. Stimulant drugs such as these are often cut with caffeine, increasing the likelihood that caffeine withdrawal is involved in withdrawal from these drugs.

Do You Have a Caffeine Addiction?

If you suspect that you are addicted to caffeine, such as if you have a coffee addiction, it is essential to take stock of your situation. Assessing your intake, the impact, and how you feel can help you better determine if you need to cut back.

Addiction involves excessive use of caffeine and relying on this stimulant to better cope with life despite any adverse effects you may be experiencing. To figure out whether you might be addicted, it helps to:

Assess Your Intake

Calculate how much caffeine you are consuming on a typical day. Remember that gourmet espresso, lattes, and cappuccino typically contain more caffeine than regular drip or instant coffee, soda, and other common caffeine-containing foods and drinks. Therefore, this should be accounted for when determining your normal intake.

Pay Attention to How You Feel

Make a note of any side effects you experience after consuming caffeine. Also, note any adverse effects you feel if you lower your normal intake or skip caffeine entirely. Pay attention to both mental and physical effects for a more complete picture of how you are impacted by its use.

Consider How Caffeine Affects Your Life

Think about your caffeine habit and how it affects your life as a whole. Do your relationships suffer if you don’t get your morning coffee, for instance? Could your caffeine intake be contributing to your work anxiety?

Coping With a Caffeine Addiction

Caffeine addiction is so common that we don’t even notice it most of the time. But when you can greatly reduce or quit caffeine to reduce the adverse effects it is having on you, you may find it easier to get back in touch with your own natural energy and can relax when night falls.

If your responses to caffeine (or a lack of caffeine) affect you negatively, speak to your healthcare provider. Similarly, if you have another health condition that might be impacted by caffeine use, such as heart disease, or even if you are pregnant or breastfeeding, discuss options with your doctor immediately.

Make a Plan to Cut Back or Quit

The vicious cycle of addiction is often the same with caffeine as with other addictive substances. As the effects of the caffeine begin to wear off, you might feel a crash in energy and that you can’t keep going without another boost. Your doctor can help you move past this without giving in.

Gradually Lower Your Caffeine Intake

Since stopping “cold turkey” can make you feel worse, most people need to reduce caffeine intake gradually rather than abruptly. Your doctor can help you devise a suitable plan based on your typical caffeine consumption. This can help reduce or eliminate any withdrawal effects.

Find Ways to Manage Withdrawal Symptoms

Withdrawal symptoms such as headache and fatigue may leave you wanting to reach for a cup of coffee or a can of soda, so finding ways to cope with these symptoms is essential. Consider using over-the-counter pain medications like Tylenol or ibuprofen to relieve headache symptoms. Other strategies that can help include:

• Getting enough sleep
• Drinking plenty of water
• Finding ways to stay busy
• Engaging in physical exercise to boost energy levels

Seek Help for Mental Health Symptoms

If you feel you are using caffeine to cope with an emotional problem, such as depression or anxiety, talk to your physician about treatment options. The right treatment could make a huge difference for you.

Caffeine addiction often overlaps with other behavioral addictions, such as sugar addiction. So, you might find that evaluating your caffeine intake also identifies other behaviors that need to be addressed.

Childhood emotional abuse and neglect can result in permanent changes to the developing human brain. These changes in brain structure appear to be significant enough to potentially cause psychological and emotional problems in adulthood, such as psychological disorders and substance misuse.

Around 14% of Americans report experiencing emotional abuse or neglect during their childhood. Emotional abuse can include:

• Insulting, name-calling, or swearing at a child
• Threatening to physically harm the child
• Terrorizing or otherwise making the child feel afraid

Emotional neglect involves failing to meet a child’s emotional needs. This can include failing to:

• Believe in the child
• Create a close-knit family
• Make the child feel special or important
• Provide support
• Want the child to be successful

How Abuse Alters Brain Structure

As children grow, their brains undergo periods of rapid development. Negative experiences can disrupt those developmental periods, leading to changes in the brain later on.

Research supports this idea and suggests that the timing and duration of childhood abuse can impact the way it affects those children later in life. Abuse that occurs early in childhood for a prolonged period of time, for example, can lead to particularly negative outcomes.

Dr. Martin Teicher and his colleagues at McLean Hospital, Harvard Medical School, and Northeastern University studied the relationship between abuse and brain structure by using magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) technology to identify measured changes in brain structure among young adults who had experienced childhood abuse or neglect.

They found clear differences in nine brain regions between those who had experienced childhood trauma and those who had not. The most obvious changes were in the brain regions that help balance emotions and impulses, as well as self-aware thinking. The study’s results indicate that people who have been through childhood abuse or neglect do have an increased risk of developing mental health issues later on.

Effects on Brain Structure

Childhood abuse and neglect can have several negative effects on how the brain develops. Some of these are:

• Decreased size of the corpus callosum, which integrates cortical functioning—motor, sensory, and cognitive performances—between the hemispheres
• Decreased size of the hippocampus, which is important in learning and memory
• Dysfunction at different levels of the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, which is involved in the stress response
• Less volume in the prefrontal cortex, which affects behavior, emotional balance, and perception
• Overactivity in the amygdala, which is responsible for processing emotions and determining reactions to potentially stressful or dangerous situations
• Reduced volume of the cerebellum, which can affect motor skills and coordination

Follow Now: Apple Podcasts / Spotify / Google Podcasts / Amazon Music

Effects on Behavior, Emotions, and Social Function

Because childhood abuse, neglect, and trauma change brain structure and chemical function, maltreatment can also affect the way children behave, regulate emotions, and function socially. These potential effects include:

• Being constantly on alert and unable to relax, no matter the situation
• Feeling fearful most or all of the time
• Finding social situations more challenging
• Learning deficits
• Not hitting developmental milestones in a timely fashion
• A tendency to develop a mental health condition
• A weakened ability to process positive feedback

These effects can continue to cause issues in adulthood if they’re not addressed. Adults who experienced maltreatment during childhood may have trouble with interpersonal relationships—or they may avoid them altogether.

These outcomes could be related to attachment theory, or the idea that our early relationships with caregivers influence the way we relate to people later on in life. Emotional abuse and neglect don’t allow for a secure attachment to form between a child and caregiver, which causes distress for the child and influences the way they see themselves and others.

Adults who went through childhood emotional abuse or neglect may also experience:

Treatment

Through treatment, it is possible to address the effects of childhood emotional abuse and neglect. Treatment in these cases is highly individual since maltreatment can take many forms and each person’s response to it may differ.

Any form of treatment would likely include therapy and, depending on whether or not any other mental health conditions are present, may include medication as well. Brain plasticity is at its peak during early childhood, meaning early intervention is the best way to recover from changes in the brain caused by stress and trauma. Although the adult brain continues to have plasticity, it requires more effort and time to re-establish healthy neural connections. Some effective forms of therapy for children and adults are:

• Attachment and Biobehavioral Catchup (ABC): Partnering with parents and teaching them to re-interpret their children’s behavior and respond to them sensitively. Creating a safe and positive interaction between the parent and the child fosters a secure attachment and healthy brain development. This results in children who can learn to self-regulate their own emotions and behaviors.
• Exposure therapy: Exposure therapy involves interacting with something that typically provokes fear while slowly learning to remain calm. This form of therapy may improve neural connections between several regions in the brain.
• Family therapy: Family therapy is a psychological treatment intended to improve relationships within the entire family and create a better, more supportive home environment. This type of treatment may improve HPA axis functioning and lead to a healthier stress response. 
• Mindfulness-based approaches: Mindfulness-based therapy focuses on helping people develop a sense of awareness of their thoughts and feelings so they can understand them and better regulate them. These approaches may help improve resiliency against stress by benefiting several brain regions and improving neural connections.
• Play therapy: Play therapy can help a child process and express emotions in a safe environment. Using toys, games, and crafts can help a child get comfortable and may use play to act out or express their emotions and learn to regulate their behavior while adopting healthier coping mechanisms.
• Trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): TF-CBT focuses on helping people learn new coping skills, restructure negative or unhelpful thoughts, regulate their moods, and overcome trauma by crafting a trauma narrative. This form of therapy may help reduce overactivity in the amygdala.

If your child has been diagnosed with depression or will be evaluated for depression, you may have heard of the Children’s Depression Inventory (CDI). The CDI is a tool that mental health professionals use to measure the cognitive, affective, and behavioral signs of depression in children and adolescents between the ages of 7 and 17. 

The Children’s Depression Inventory is used to scale the severity of depressive symptoms in children. It also differentiates between major depressive disorder and persistent depressive disorder (formerly known as dysthymic disorder) in children. It can help practitioners distinguish between these disorders and other psychiatric conditions. 

How the Children’s Depression Inventory Works

The CDI was developed by Maria Kovacs to diagnose depression in children more easily. Other self-report assessments for identifying depression in children include the Beck Depression Inventory (BDI) and the Weinberg Screening Affective Scale (WSAS). 

While depression is often considered an adult disorder, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) states that 4.4% of kids between the ages of 3 and 17 have been diagnosed with depression.

The Children’s Depression Inventory has two forms: The original 27-item version and the 10-item short-form version, which takes between 5 and 15 minutes for the child to complete.

The CDI is designed to detect symptoms of depression and to distinguish between depression and other psychiatric disorders. It can also be used as an instrument to monitor changes in depression symptoms over time.

How Is the Children’s Depression Inventory Administered?

Each item in the CDI has three statements, and the child is asked to select the one answer that best describes their feelings over the past two weeks. There are five subscales within the assessment that measure different components of depression:

• Anhedonia (inability or decreased ability to experience joy)
• Ineffectiveness (lack of motivation or inability to complete tasks)
• Interpersonal problems (difficulty making and keeping close relationships)
• Negative mood (irritability or anger)
• Negative self-esteem (the belief that you are not good at anything)

How Reliable Is the Children’s Depression Inventory?

The CDI has excellent psychometric properties, which means that it measures depression in children accurately and reliably when used properly. Some research indicates, however, that the test is not appropriate for children who have reading difficulties. 

Research has also shown that the Children’s Depression Inventory (both the full version and short version) is a valid instrument for screening for depression in pediatric settings. It has also been validated for use with children who have physical disabilities.

However, doctors working in pediatric care are advised to follow up with diagnostic assessments to rule out potential false positives. 

Interpreting the Children’s Depression Inventory 

Only a professional trained on the properties of the CDI can accurately interpret the results. A raw score on the test is essentially meaningless without a professional’s interpretation, so parents should always discuss the meaning of the results with the professional who evaluated the child.

You should discuss follow-up assessments with your child’s doctor to determine the best course of treatment for your child. Milder symptoms may respond well to support and self-care, while more moderate to severe symptoms may require other treatments such as medications or psychotherapy.

Limitations of the Children’s Depression Inventory

Like other self-report assessments used in children, the Children’s Depression Inventory is vulnerable to certain limitations. For example, because children don’t have the same sophistication as adults when it comes to understanding and reporting their emotions, their responses may not reflect their true emotional state.

In addition, children may be more likely than adults to attempt to give what they believe to be the desired answers rather than answers that represent their true feelings.

While the inventory has five subscales, some studies have failed to support the five-factor structure. Instead, some researchers indicate that two-, three-, or four-factor models are a better fit. 

The use of the CDI for children outside of the U.S. may be limited due to cultural-specific interpretations. One study found that demographic and socio-cultural factors influenced the interpretation of depressive symptoms. This suggests that more research is needed to ensure the CDI is valid in cultures outside the U.S.

What Happens Next?

The Children’s Depression Inventory is a quick and painless depression assessment for your child. While any type of test is sure to make a child nervous, you can assure your child that there are no right or wrong answers.

Depressive symptoms tend to fluctuate in both children and adults. Therefore, the test’s author recommends retesting any child who receives a positive score on the CDI two to four weeks after the initial test.  

If you are concerned about depression in your child, it is important to consult with your child’s pediatrician or other mental health professional. It is important that childhood depression is treated quickly.

Childhood depression can have serious consequences, particularly when it is left untreated. It can affect a child’s personal development, well-being, health, and academic achievement. Such effects can also carry over into adulthood.

Detecting childhood depression early and treating it effectively can help kids feel better and protect their well-being as they develop.