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Justice sensitivity refers to an individual’s sense of fairness, equity, and inclusion, as well as their need to address and correct injustices. Most people would describe themselves as having some level of justice sensitivity, though the intensity to which they focus on issues of justice and equity will vary, like all traits.

Some people experience extremely high justice sensitivity, which can impact how they respond to perceived injustice and wrongdoing in the world around them. Autistic and ADHD individuals in particular tend to have higher levels of justice sensitivity compared to neurotypicals. While not every neurodivergent person reports high justice sensitivity, and many people with high justice sensitivity are not autistic or ADHD, this can be an autistic or ADHD trait.

Additionally, justice sensitivity can be impacted by other aspects of a person’s identity. Those who are marginalized in other ways (for instance, BIPOC individuals, LGBTQ+ people, et cetera) may be more focused on justice due to increased awareness resulting from personal experiences with oppression.

This article describes justice sensitivity and how it manifests in autistic and ADHD people in particular.

What Does It Mean to Have Justice Sensitivity?

An individual’s justice sensitivity is the degree to which they are aware of issues of equity, equality, fairness, and other justice issues. When someone is highly justice-sensitive, they are more acutely aware of these issues, noticing injustices when they happen and working hard to bring injustice to others’ attention and correct it.

Those with high justice sensitivity are also more likely to remain focused on justice issues with more intensity and for a longer period of time than those with lower justice sensitivity. They may be driven to take action to correct injustices around them. They may also find themselves drained or burned out by the many injustices that occur around the world every day.

What Causes Justice Sensitivity in Autistic People?

As we have noted, an individual does not have to be autistic to experience justice sensitivity. However, some common autistic traits can explain why autistic people are more likely to experience justice sensitivity.

• First, many autistic people experience special interests, or a highly intense passion for a topic. This is not a simple hobby or passing fascination; an autistic person with a special interest may spend an unlimited amount of time researching, learning, talking about, interacting with, or completing projects related to their special interest. For some, that special interest is justice.
• Second, autistic brains tend to hyperfocus on topics or problems until they find a solution. When faced with injustice, some autistic people will hyperfocus on it unless and until an equitable solution is identified.
• Third, autistic people experience traumatic events at a higher rate than the rest of the population, including abuse and discrimination. Autistics are much more likely to develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) at some point in their lives compared to those who are not autistic. First-hand experience of mistreatment and injustice can cause some people to focus on ensuring that no one else has to suffer as they did. This is also why autistic people with other marginalized identities might be even more justice sensitive.
• Finally, justice sensitivity involves doing what is morally right and just overdoing what is easy or following directives from authority. Research has shown that autistic people are less likely to respond to appeals to authority and more likely to focus on fairness and equity over loyalty.

What Causes Justice Sensitivity in ADHDers?

Again, while not all people who experience justice sensitivity have ADHD (and not everyone who has ADHD experiences justice insensitivity), there are ADHD traits that can increase the probability that someone will be more sensitive to injustice.

• First, like autistic individuals, ADHDers can experience hyper-focus, though for slightly different reasons. Although ADHD is often described as involving a “deficit” of attention, it can be more accurately described as struggling to decide what that attention will focus on. Many ADHD ers find themselves unable to turn off their hyper-focus. When that focus is pointed at a justice issue, it can be difficult to disengage.
• Second, like autistics, ADHDers are at a higher rater for experiencing trauma and are diagnosed with PTSD at a higher rate than neurotypicals, increasing first-hand experience of injustice. Again, this often means that those with intersecting marginalized identities are more aware of the importance of justice.
• Third, ADHDers tend to experience emotions more intensely than those without ADHD. This means that, when an ADHDer becomes angry about injustice, they feel that anger more strongly than someone who does not have ADHD. Anger can be highly motivating.

Justice Sensitivity in AuDHD

AuDHD refers to when someone is both ADHD and autistic. Those who experience justice sensitivity due to a combination of ADHD and autistic traits might have an even more intense perception of justice.

What Are the Benefits of Justice Sensitivity?

Caring about others and wanting to see justice prevail in the world are positive qualities. They reflect compassion and often empathy, and they drive us to help and support each other.

People who have high justice sensitivity often make excellent advocates because they are driven to fight for change and address injustice whenever they see it, refusing to tolerate inequity, bigotry, and other justice issues. They educate others about justice issues and demand positive change in the world around them. They can point out unfairness and inequality, helping others advocate for themselves.

When turned inward, justice sensitivity helps individuals self-advocate and articulate their needs to those who can help them. They can call out harmful behaviors and exercise their right for respect, support, and (when appropriate) accommodations.

What Are the Drawbacks of Justice Sensitivity?

Although a strong sense of justice can be a wonderful thing, there are also drawbacks that accompany high justice sensitivity, particularly for autistic and ADHD individuals.

Because special interests can be intense and all-consuming, an autistic or ADHD person with a special interest or hyperfocus in justice issues may find themselves seeking out information on various injustices. They may engage in doomscrolling on social media, constantly exposing themselves to injustice after injustice. While they may hope to bring attention to these issues and correct them, the constant barrage of injustice can be draining and exhausting.

Additionally, we presently live in a society where harm seems to be around every corner. Many justice advocates report struggling with the concept of “ethical consumption” when every product creates harm somewhere along the supply chain. Those with high justice sensitivity can struggle with basic survival when it is impossible to buy ethically sourced food or exist in the world without having a carbon footprint. Attempting to honor your justice ideals in a world that makes this impossible is exhausting.

Caring for Yourself When You Have High Justice Sensitivity

If you experience high justice sensitivity, these tips can help you learn to balance your well-being and ideals:

• Choose your battles. It is literally impossible to address every justice issue in the world by yourself. To mitigate burnout, choose the issues that are most important to you, and set boundaries around your involvement in other areas. You can focus on things you are most passionate about and that play to your knowledge.
• Set boundaries. Since hyperfocus can cause autistic and ADHD individuals to become completely engrossed in causes, having boundaries around your advocacy work can ensure you save space and energy for your self-care.
• Remember that you deserve the support you offer others. It is tempting to give and give, spreading yourself too thin. Extend the same compassion you have for others towards yourself, and make sure your needs are met because you also matter.
• Notice signs of burnout. Keep track of indications that you might be doing too much or that you might be sliding into burnout. When these things pop up, step back and make time for your needs before you hit a crisis point.

Most qualities can be strengths or cause deficits depending on the context and severity, and justice sensitivity is no exception. It is not wrong to care about issues and want to make the world a better place, but it is important to take care of yourself along the way.

There are few things as comforting as having a strong sense of trust in your relationship, but it takes time and intentionality to develop.

To have trust in a relationship means that you feel a sense of security and loyalty with your partner. According to Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, a clinical psychologist and professor at Yeshiva University, it’s the basis of a solid relationship.

“To trust means to rely on another person because you feel safe with them and have confidence that they will not hurt or violate you. Trust is the foundation of relationships because it allows you to be vulnerable and open up to the person without having to defensively protect yourself,” says Romanoff.

Are You in a Healthy Relationship? Take the Quiz

If you’ve got questions about your relationship, our fast and free quiz can help you better understand if your partnership is rock solid or if it could use some work.

This healthy relationship quiz was reviewed by Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD.

Why Trust Matters

Trust is a vital component in happy and successful relationships. Here’s how it can impact your relationship for the better.

Promotes Positivity

Trust is important in relationships because it allows you to be more open and giving. If you trust your partner, you are more likely to be forgiving of their shortcomings or behaviors that irritate you because overall you believe in them and know they have your back.

Reduces Conflict

Trust also allows you to navigate conflict. When you trust your partner, you are more willing to overlook problems or commit to finding solutions to issues because you feel allied in areas that mean the most to you.

Even if your partner does something disappointing, you are more likely to give them the benefit of the doubt and see the good in them if you trust them.

Increases Closeness

Establishing trust creates a strong bond and foundation to build on. Knowing you can trust your partner promotes increased closeness and safety. When you trust one another, you feel safe knowing that your partner has your back and can be relied upon for comfort, care, and support.

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Impact of Lack of Trust

Trust takes time to build, and if your partner consistently fails to follow through on promises or commitments, you will begin to have low expectations of them.

Lack of trust can create many problems in your relationship. A lack of trust can also affect your mental health in the following ways:

• Lack of intimacy: When there is little trust in a relationship, intimacy tends to decrease. When your partner is being deceitful, you will likely want to distance yourself from them, both emotionally and physically. 
• Negativity: When you feel wronged by your partner, you may fixate on this feeling, which will not only cause you to withdraw from them, but will also cause you to be filled with anger towards them. This can stifle connection and closeness.
• Insecurity: Lack of trust usually leads to insecurity in the relationship. In turn, you will constantly doubt what your partner tells you and may react by becoming more controlling, which can push them further away. For instance, incessantly calling or texting your partner to keep tabs on them can drive them away.
• Depression and anxiety: If there is little trust in your relationship, you might experience higher levels of depression or anxiety because you will constantly question whether your partner is lying or being deceitful.
• Trouble concentrating: Lack of trust can lead to an inability to concentrate, especially if you are constantly worrying or wondering what the other person is actually thinking, feeling, or doing.
• Distress: Not being able to trust your partner contributes to mental, emotional, and physical distress, including betrayal, trauma, and emotional dysregulation.
• Fear: Low trust can cause feelings of fear and anxiety. You might be afraid of what your partner will do next, or you might worry that they won’t be there when you need them.
• Loneliness: When you can’t trust the closest person in your life, you are bound to experience feelings of loneliness and isolation.

How Do You Deepen Trust in a Relationship?

There are a number of things that you can do to help promote trust in your relationship. Romanoff shares some strategies that can be helpful.

Improve on Mistakes

An important step to build trust is to be honest and forthcoming when you violate expectations or hurt one another. 

Everyone makes mistakes. What is important is that you can learn and grow closer to each other after you repair whatever was damaged as a result of the mistake. The best way to do this is to own them completely and show how you will do better in the future.

Engage in Open Communication

Secrecy tends to erode trust, so when your partner is able to be transparent and allows space to explore topics that might trigger your mistrust, you can begin to feel more at ease and begin to let your guard down. 

The more you are able to get on the same page, the closer you will feel toward your partner. Open communication makes it easier for you to discuss concerns about the relationship. When you can have open communication, you will feel closer to your partner.

How to Rebuild Trust

If trust has been damaged in a relationship, there are things that you can do to help rebuild your trust, intimacy, and connection. Steps you can take:

• Be open and willing to work on the relationship
• Create new positive experiences together
• Talk to one another
• Find ways to connect
• Say what you mean and mean what you say
• Keep and follow through on commitments you make
• Be consistent
• Listen empathetically, be present with your partner, and ask questions to better understand them and your relationship with them
• Continually deepen your own self-awareness so that you can share your most honest thoughts, emotions, needs, and requests
• Acknowledge and take responsibility for mistakes made, apologize for the harm done, and be clear and specific about how things will be approached differently in the future

Patience is also important. It may take time to rebuild trust, but continuing to work toward improving your relationship can help you eventually mend those damaged connections.

Somatic therapy, also known as somatic experiencing therapy, is a mental health therapy that aims to treat PTSD and other mental and emotional health issues through the connection of mind and body. This body-centric approach works by helping to release stress, tension, and trauma from the body.

Unlike other mental health therapy approaches, such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which focuses prominently on the mind, somatic therapy incorporates body-oriented modalities such as dance, breathwork, and meditation to support mental healing. In addition, somatic experiencing therapy sessions include both talk therapy and mind-body exercises.

Types of Somatic Therapy

Just like in other forms of mental wellness therapies, in somatic therapy (also called somatic experiencing therapy), patients discuss their problems. However, rather than just talking about those problems, somatic therapists guide patients to focus on their underlying physical sensations. From there, the mind-body exercises may include breath work, meditation, visualization, massage, grounding, dance, and/or sensation awareness work.

Beyond the standard somatic therapy, numerous subgroups use its framework in specific ways. These include:

• Sensorimotor psychotherapy: A comprehensive therapy that uses the body as an integral source of information and a guide as to how best to treat trauma and developmental challenges.
• The Hakomi Method: Psychotherapy that integrates scientific, psychological, and spiritual sources, focusing on four core concepts: gentleness, nonviolence, compassion, and mindfulness.
• Bioenergetic analysis: Body-psychotherapy that combines bodily, analytic, and relational work based on understanding energy.
• Biodynamic psychotherapy: A combination of allopathic (medical) and holistic therapy modalities that include physical massage by the practitioner.
• Brainspotting: In addition to mind and bodywork, this therapy incorporates eye positioning to retrain emotional reactions to traumatic or triggering events or memories.

Techniques

Somatic therapy operates off the idea that what happens to you in your life is stored not only in your mind but also in your body. By focusing on both the physical sensations in your body and the discussion of your problems, it is a comprehensive approach to therapy. Somatic therapy techniques include:

• Developing more awareness of your body and its sensations
• Calling upon emotional resources
• Grounding (focusing on your internal sensations in the moment in response to PTSD activation or triggers)
• Encouraging detailed descriptions
• Movement, including acting out of physical feelings
• Learning tools to calm oneself
• Alternating focus between something stressful and something not stressful to help release tension
• Replaying past situations with new physical tools
• Emotional release
• Strengthening boundaries

What Somatic Therapy Can Help With

Anyone can try somatic therapy as an alternative to conventional talk therapy. It is used for a variety of mental and physical health issues.

Mental health issues that somatic therapy is used for include:

Physically, somatic therapy may assist with:

• Chronic pain
• Digestive disorders
• Sexual dysfunction

Because of its focus on grounding and mindfulness, which are techniques to put you back in your body in the present moment rather than being swept up in a traumatic or anxious trigger, this therapy can be an effective option for anyone looking to get more in touch with themselves and their experiences in life.

Effectiveness

Somatic therapy has been shown to be an effective form of therapy for numerous psychiatric and physical issues.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

Treatment for PTSD with somatic experiencing has been proven to be an effective method to speed up the time needed to heal from a traumatic event.

Initial studies of somatic therapy have found it to be an effective treatment for PTSD, noting that this intervention resulted in fewer PTSD and depressive symptoms. This demonstrates that somatic therapy may be an effective therapy method for PTSD, although further research is needed to understand what specific patients will benefit most from this type of treatment.

When victims of a tsunami were studied, the results stated, “90% of participants reported significant improvement or being completely free of symptoms of intrusion, arousal, and avoidance. The results support the effectiveness and reliability of this modified version of Somatic Experiencing Therapy in working with trauma reactions.”

Chronic Pain

It might seem surprising to some people that a form of psychotherapy can help with physical pain, but it has shown to be the case. In one study, somatic therapy was proven effective as a treatment for cervical myofascial pain, and the effectiveness was not increased when acupuncture was added. This speaks to the efficacy of somatic therapy in treating chronic pain.

Things to Consider

As with any form of therapy, it’s essential to be in an emotional and mental place where you have the time and energy to process complex feelings. If you’re doing somatic therapy in person, touch is often involved. Because of that, it’s wise to ensure you don’t mind being touched by another person.

Somatic therapy is not considered to have any risks that are specific or unique to its format.

How to Get Started

If you’re interested in trying somatic therapy, follow these tips to get started.

Find a Therapist

The first step to starting somatic therapy is to find a therapist in your area. Depending if you want to see someone in person or virtually, you may need to look for someone doing telehealth. If you’re looking for an in-person experience so that you also receive the benefits of touch-oriented treatments, add your location into a search engine field along with your query.

Somatic therapy is common enough that you should be able to find a provider in most major cities. If you’re looking for a virtual therapist, check online to make sure that your potential therapist has positive reviews.

It’s important to note that most somatic therapists do not work directly with health insurance companies because somatic therapy is considered an alternative form of therapy. Many are licensed marriage and family therapists (LMFTs), psychologists, or other licensed therapists and may be able to provide you with a superbill to submit to your insurance company yourself for reimbursement.

Prepare for Your First Appointment

Before your first appointment, think through your emotional and physical goals and what you want to accomplish through the therapy. As with any therapy, be aware that you may bring up old and painful memories. These are good to have distilled to tell your therapist about.

If you are seeing someone in person, prepare yourself for potential healing work conducted via touch. Whether virtual or in-person, your somatic therapist will ask you questions about your history and therapy goals during your first session. The two of you will work together to discuss what the therapy will look like and how you will proceed. What matters most is that you are comfortable with the therapist.

As with all therapies, somatic therapy may be emotionally difficult and be a long journey, though many people find a deeper level of healing than they could achieve through other therapies.

The trait theory of leadership postulates that successful leadership arises from certain inborn personality traits and characteristics that produce consistent behavioral patterns. This line of research emerged as one of the first investigations into the nature of effective leadership.

Trait Theory of Leadership: The Rationale

The trait theory of leadership is tied to the “great man” theory of leadership first proposed by Thomas Carlyle in the mid-1800s. According to Carlyle, history is shaped by extraordinary leaders. This ability to lead is something that people are simply born with, Carlyle believed, and not something that could be developed. Carlyle’s ideas inspired early research on leadership, which almost entirely focused on inheritable traits.

Carlyle’s Approach

Carlyle’s theory of leadership was based on the rationale that:

• Certain traits produce certain patterns of behavior.
• Patterns are consistent across different situations.
• People are born with leadership traits.

Even today, books, and articles tout the various characteristics necessary to become a great leader, suggesting that leadership is somehow predestined in some (or is at least more likely) while unlikely, if not impossible, in others.

Other Theories

Since the publication of Carlyle’s thesis, psychologists have examined and argued about the trait-based theory of leadership. From the 1940s to the 1970s, psychologist Ralph Melvin Stogdill suggested that leadership is the result of the interaction between the individual and the social situation and not merely the result of a predefined set of traits.

Soon after in the 1980s, James M. Kouzes and Barry Z. Posner posited that credibility was a key indicator of leadership skills, characterized by such traits as being honest, forward-looking, inspiring, and competent.

Leadership Traits

While the list of leadership traits can vary by whoever is drawing up the list, a recent study outlined behavioral traits that separated lower-level supervisors from higher-level supervisors.

According to the researchers, the traits most commonly associated with great leadership include:

• Adaptability and flexibility: Effective leaders don’t get stuck in a rut. They are able to think outside of the box and adapt quickly to changing situations.
• Assertiveness: A great leader is able to be direct and assertive without coming off as overly pushy or aggressive.
• Capacity to motivate people: A great leader knows how to inspire others and motivate them to do their best.
• Courage and resolution: The best leaders are brave and committed to the goals of the group. They do not hide from challenges.
• Creativity: Perhaps most importantly, great leaders not only possess their own creativity, but they are also able to foster creativity among members of the group.
• Decisiveness: A great leader is capable of making a decision and is confident in his or her choices.
• Eagerness to accept responsibility: Strong leaders take on responsibility and don’t pass the blame on to others. They stand by their success and take ownership of their mistakes.
• Emotional stability: In addition to being dependable overall, strong leaders are able to control their emotions and avoid overreactions.
• Intelligence and action-oriented judgment: Great leaders and smart and make choices that move the group forward.
• Need for achievement: Strong leaders have a need to succeed and help the group achieve goals. They genuinely care about the success of the group and are committed to helping the group reach these milestones.
• People skills: Excellent interpersonal skills are essential for leading effectively. Great leaders know how to interact well with other leaders as well as with team members.
• Perseverance: Strong leaders stick with it, even when things get difficult or the group faces significant obstacles.
• Self-confidence: Many of the best leaders are extremely self-assured. Because they are confident in themselves, followers often begin to share this self-belief.
• Task competence: A great leader is skilled and capable. Members of the group are able to look to the leader for an example of how things should be done.
• Trustworthiness: Group members need to be able to depend upon and trust the person leading them.
• Understanding their followers and their needs: Effective leaders pay attention to group members and genuinely care about helping them succeed. They want each person in the group to succeed and play a role in moving the entire group forward.

Controversy on the Trait Theory

Early studies on leadership focused on the differences between leaders and followers and assumed that people in leadership positions display more leadership traits than those in subordinate positions.

Researchers found, however, that relatively few traits could be used to distinguish between leaders and followers. For example, leaders tend to be great communicators. Leaders also tend to be higher in traits such as extroversion, self-confidence, and height, but these differences tended to be small.

Some have suggested that this may due to situational variables in which leadership skills only emerge when an opportunity for leadership arises (such as in war, during a political crisis, or in the absence of leadership).

Meanwhile, others have taken a contingency approach to leadership in which certain traits can be more effective in some situations and less so in others. Opinions vary on what those traits are and to what degree they can predict success, if at all.

Leadership in the Internet Age

More controversial yet is the contention that some people don’t have the traits to become leaders. Such a belief inherently overlooks social and economic inequities that limit, if not entirely erase, a person’s potential to lead.

It also overlooks the changing economy and how leadership is defined when connections are today made both online and offline.

Whether it seems out of the blue or you felt it coming, it can be scary to hear your spouse say, “I want a divorce” or “I’m done.” If this is the situation you’re in, remember that it’s not over ’til it’s over. Even spouses who say they want to divorce may be somewhat ambivalent about that decision, meaning that there can be hope for a reconciliation.

If you truly want to avoid divorce, you must demonstrate that you are capable of real change. Think deeply about what has gotten you both to this place. What has your spouse been complaining about for a very long time? What have you been remiss in hearing? Consider the behaviors you are willing to change to make your marriage work.

It may seem unfair that you have to do the changing, but when your spouse has hit their limit and you’re the one who wants to make it work, you may need to make the first move toward real change. Here we share what to do and not do if your spouse tells you that they want a divorce.

What Not to Do If Your Spouse Wants a Divorce

“Although you may want the best opportunity to save your marriage, some people sabotage this by acting angry or vengeful. Often, these actions are a result of feeling discouraged, disregarded, or hopeless,” says clinical psychologist Dr. Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, causing them to choose to hurt their partner rather than be acknowledged.

Here are some actions that can make it difficult to meet your goal of saving the marriage, making it important to work hard to avoid them:

• Acting out: Behaviors such as using drugs, alcohol, getting caught up in the bar scene, and flirting (or more) with others won’t help you work things out with your spouse in the long run.
• Begging: Pleading with, pursuing, or pressuring your spouse can have the opposite effect and turn them off.
• Buying: Buying gifts, flowers, and cards to make up for or apologize for your actions that prompted your spouse to want a divorce probably won’t resolve the real issues. You will not be successful at buying back love.
• Gossiping: Asking family or friends to encourage your spouse to stay with you may make things worse. Discussing personal matters with others may just upset your spouse.
• Idealizing: Refrain from pointing out all the good things about marriage or about you.
• Manipulating: Saying “I love you” or asking your spouse to read books about love and marriage could come off as manipulative or pushy.
• Nagging: Avoid making excessive phone calls and sending lots of texts to your spouse, especially if this has not been your pattern, as it can make you seem desperate.
• Neediness: You may be overwhelmed with sadness and can only express this feeling toward your spouse, but do your best to not act needy toward them.
• Reminiscing: Do not try to get your spouse to look at your wedding pictures, talk about your early dating days, etc.
• Spying: Following them in your car, checking their emails, cell phone, bills, and so on can break rather than build trust in your relationship. 

What to Do If Your Spouse Wants a Divorce

Try these proactive steps to repair your rift and encourage your partner to change their mind about divorce. Ultimately, the goal is not only to avoid divorce but to improve the health of your relationship.

• Act as though you will move forward with confidence. Commit to doing this regardless of whether or not your spouse decides to stay with you.
• Allow your spouse to come to you with questions or concerns. Let your partner know that you sincerely want to save the marriage, then be patient when discussing the topic. During your discussions, be an active and engaged listener.
• Be your best self. This is not the time to fall apart, go into a rage, or get vengeful. Muster up the best attitude you can, putting your best self forward.
• Behave respectfully toward your spouse. In addition to being respectful with your spouse, practice self-respect as well.
• Don’t engage in arguments. Don’t take the bait if your spouse tries to get you to argue. You may even have to walk away. (If your spouse claims that you “always walk away,” state that you would be happy to stay and have a civil conversation, then do it.)
• Get help. Read self-help or self-improvement books or see a marriage counselor. “Divorce Remedy” by Michelle Weiner-Davis may be a good book for your circumstances.
• Give your spouse some space. Don’t question them about their whereabouts or schedule. Instead, give them room.
• Keep busy. Continue your day-to-day activities, and maybe even add some new ones. Go out with friends, family, and your children. Visit a place of worship, try a new hobby, or get some exercise. Continue living, despite what happens with your marriage. You may invite your spouse to join you, but don’t react negatively if they decline. Also, don’t change your intended plans.
• Keep up with your appearance. You may feel very down and bad about yourself, but ignoring basic hygiene can further impact your mental health.
• Let your spouse see you as content. Your mood may be fluctuating, but find an outlet for difficult feelings that isn’t your spouse. Often, a therapist or counselor can provide a safe space to process your feelings.

Next Steps If Divorce Is On the Table

In addition to taking the proactive steps mentioned above, you might be wondering the best way to proceed or move forward. There are a few immediate steps to consider if you and your spouse have discussed getting a divorce.

• Try relationship or couples therapy: See if your spouse is open to going to couples counseling with you to identify and work on the issues in your relationship. Therapy, both as a couple and as individuals, could help you understand if there’s a way to move forward together and reconcile what’s causing a rift.
• Consult a lawyer: Even if you hope to reconcile, it may still be a good idea to speak to a lawyer to better understand what a divorce could mean for you from a legal perspective.

Going through or considering a divorce can be emotionally distressing. To stay mentally strong, remember to practice self-care and reach out for support. You may also consider seeing a therapist on your own or joining a support group.

Final Thoughts

Making positive changes, regardless of whether your marriage ultimately works out or not, is always a good idea. There may be some behaviors or traits you have that can be problematic in most relationships. Working through them helps improve your ability to connect and communicate with a romantic partner (whether it be your current spouse or someone new).