Posts in category: Dating Tips, Guide and Advice

Words can cut deep and leave lingering damage that lasts long after the words have been spoken. Verbal abuse is an interaction in which a person is harmed by the words of another.

It can be overt or subtle and difficult to recognize. This type of abuse often hides under layers of sarcasm, dismissive comments, or veiled criticism. Examples of verbal abuse include put-downs and insults, intentionally unhelpful criticism, verbal threats, loud verbal assaults, and gaslighting.

Verbal abuse might not seem like as big a deal as physical abuse, but it can cause long-lasting harm and trauma to its victims. Verbal abuse can be perpetrated by anyone in your life, from a parent to a coworker to a friend. Unlike physical abuse, the scars are invisible, which is why it can be harder to recognize.

Verbal abuse can take a major toll on self-esteem, mental health, and well-being. Understanding how to recognize it is the first step toward getting help and healing from the harm it has caused.

Signs You’re Being Verbally Abused

If any of the above is occurring in one of your relationships, you are likely experiencing verbal abuse. Forms of verbal abuse that you might recognize include:

• Abusive anger
• Abuse disguised as a joke
• Condescending
• Ignoring
• Trivializing
• Accusing and blaming
• Discounting
• Judging and criticizing
• Threatening
• Sexual harassment

The easiest way to tell if you’re being verbally abused is based on how you feel after your interactions with someone.

If you’re engaging with another person in a healthy, affirming way, then chances are your relationship with them is a healthy one.

Understanding Intent Behind Verbal Abuse

It’s important to note that verbal abuse can occur unintentionally. The decision to behave harmfully does not need to be present in order for someone to be abusive.

For example, a person might think their words and insults are toughening you up or making you stronger.

They may like you and not know how to deal with those feelings or envy you. Or it may have nothing to do with you at all, and you happen to be a verbally abusive person. But, again, the intent is irrelevant to the outcome in this situation.

Whatever their intentions are, the effects are the same. Verbal abuse damages self-esteem. It destroys relationships and has lasting effects on well-being. Even if someone “doesn’t mean to hurt you,” they *are* hurting you. It’s not acceptable, which is why it’s so important to protect yourself and walk away from the relationship if necessary.

How to Handle Verbal Abuse

There’s no doubt about it: handling verbal abuse can seem overwhelming. It’s particularly hard when it comes from someone close to you. However, finding ways to protect yourself is crucial.

It’s important to call out the behavior and set boundaries, whether or not the harm is intentional. There are several ways to handle verbal abuse. It’s helpful to start with the first step and continue through the others as needed.

Handling verbal abuse isn’t about trying to change the other person. That’s not your job. Instead, the goal is to take control of how you respond and ensure you have the safety and support you need to safeguard your emotional well-being.

Call Out Abusive Behavior

The first and most important step to take when you are being verbally abused is to name it out loud. This should be done directly with the person if it is safe for you to do so. If the person verbally abusing you is in a position of power over you, such as your boss, it might not be safe to call it out to them directly.

In that case, you’ll want to discuss it with a neutral party who is safe, such as a supervisor or other superior who is not your boss.

You can say things such as:

• “When you say xx, it hurts my feelings.”
• “That statement about xx is hurtful”
• “That comment you just made doesn’t sit well with me”
• “When you say xx, I feel criticized unnecessarily.”
• “Comments like xx make me feel bad about myself.”
• “That comment makes me feel ashamed.”
• “I don’t like it when you talk to me like that.”

When calling out verbal abuse, you’ll want to be very clear with the person who has hurt you. Letting them know what they said, how it made you feel and why it wasn’t an acceptable exchange.

Use Clear Language to Demand That the Behavior Stop

It may be tempting to speak gently when asking for abuse to stop, especially if you are afraid of repercussions. Your best bet, though, is to be clear and firm in your request.

“I need you to stop saying xx because it makes me feel yy” is a good example of a clear way to communicate that you want the verbally abusive behavior to stop.

Calling it out could be an emotional or upsetting experience for them, making it all the more vital that you are in a safe situation and not at risk of bodily harm, losing your job, or anything else.

Don’t Engage With the Abuse

When someone is nasty to us, it’s natural to want to be mean back. This will only serve to escalate verbal abuse, and it will give your abuser a reason to accuse you of being the abusive one. Since you don’t want that, do your best to not engage directly with the abuse.

Remain Calm, If Possible

It’s tough when someone is provoking us to remain calm. But that’s the best way to deal with an abusive person since you being upset (or even emotional) can escalate the situation.

If you aren’t sure how to stay calm, you can take deep breaths when engaging with this person, to calm you down before you speak.

Set Firm Boundaries

Boundaries aren’t just a matter of telling someone they can’t behave a certain way towards you. In order for boundaries to be effective at changing behavior, whether your own or anyone else’s, there needs to be consequences attached to them.

Setting firm boundaries with clear, simple consequences is an important next step when you are dealing with verbal abuse. One example is, “If you speak to me like that again I will leave.” Another would be. “I don’t want to be called names. If you call me a name again, I won’t talk to you anymore.”

Enforce Those Boundaries

When setting boundaries, do not choose any consequences you aren’t fully prepared to stick to. Boundaries are meaningless if they aren’t enforced.

When your boundary is crossed, do your best to remain calm as you explain the situation. An example of how to do this is, “I told you that if you talked to me like that again I would leave. Since you just did what I asked you not to, I need to go now.”

What to Do If Verbal Abuse Doesn’t Stop

In a perfect world, the act of letting someone know their behavior is hurtful to you would be enough to make it stop for good. Unfortunately, this often isn’t the case.

Verbal abuse may continue even if you call it out, remain calm, request it not happen, and set and enforce boundaries around it. Here are your options for what to do in that case.

Walk Away

In the moment of the verbal abuse happening again despite your attempts to make it stop, if you have the option of physically leaving the situation, you should take it. You don’t need to drive off and go home if the circumstances don’t allow for it, but at the very least, you should remove yourself from the other person by taking a short walk.

You want to do all you can to remain calm and not engage. However, when you return to the situation, try not to engage with the person again.

End the Relationship If Possible

When boundaries and walking away have had no effect on verbal abuse, if possible, you can simply end the relationship.

It might be more difficult to end this if the person verbally abusing you is at your workplace or lives with you. But if it’s a partner, friend, acquaintance, or anyone else that your life or livelihood isn’t depending on, be clear that you are unable to move forward with the relationship due to the verbal abuse.

Seek Help

If you can’t end a relationship with a verbal abuser because of circumstances beyond your control, or if the abuser won’t leave you alone and proceeds to harass or stalk you after you end the relationship, you’ll want to involve outside help.

We use many adjectives to describe our personalities—bubbly, relaxed, fun, shy, etc. We also pay a lot of attention to these descriptors when describing what we want in a partner. Some people put a lot of thought into it, seeking out partners whose personalities either mirror or complement theirs.

Understanding your personality type and how it aligns with or differs from those closest to you will help you nurture more fulfilling relationships. When it comes to dating, personalities that complement each other tend to work through conflict successfully and build deeper connections.

A Quick Rundown of the Major Personality Tools

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) and the Enneagram are two of the most popular personality systems.

• The MBTI is based on Carl Jung’s Theory of Psychological Types and categorizes people into 16 distinct personality types, each represented by a four-letter code. These codes are combinations of traits like Extraversion vs. Introversion, Sensing vs. Intuition, Thinking vs. Feeling, and Judging vs. Perceiving.
• The Enneagram, however, digs deeper into why we behave as we do. It categorizes people into nine types, each with its core desires, fears, and growth paths. Unlike the MBTI, which focuses on external behaviors, the Enneagram explores our internal motivations and emotional patterns.
• The Big Five personality traits model is another useful framework, says Joshua Collins, a licensed clinical social worker and clinical coordinator at SOBA New Jersey. This assesses individuals based on Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism. Research suggests that partners who score similarly on these traits often experience higher levels of satisfaction and stability in their relationships. For example, two people high in agreeableness will likely have a harmonious and cooperative relationship.

How Do You Know If a Relationship Is Compatible?

Compatibility is how well two people’s traits, behaviors, and emotional needs align and complement each other. While having similar interests or hobbies is one aspect of compatibility, the critical factors for successful relationships are how you interact, communicate, and support each other in small and big ways daily.

Collins adds that it’s essential to have open and honest conversations about your values, goals, and expectations when assessing compatibility with a partner. Using personality assessments, such as the MBTI or Big Five, can provide a structured way to explore compatibility. Additionally, spending time together in various situations can help you gauge how well you navigate challenges and enjoy each other’s company.

We’ve all heard the phrase, opposites attract. More often than not, this holds true. In many cases, two people with shared interests and similar outlooks can get along great. But someone who brings interest to our lives through different views can work well, too. Just because people look compatible on paper doesn’t necessarily mean they will be, says Ashley Murry, Chief Clinical Officer at Sana Lake Recovery.

Exploring Myers-Briggs Type Compatibility

For Alex, 27, and Emily, 25, taking an MBTI test helped them understand aspects of each other’s personalities they had previously found a little confusing. 

Alex describes himself as an INFJ (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging). INFJs are known for being empathetic, reflective, and organized. On the other hand, Emily is an ESTP (Extraverted, Sensing, Thinking, Perceiving) and is often more energetic, spontaneous, and adaptable than Alex.

On paper, an INFJ partnered with an ESTP might seem mismatched, but in reality, they couldn’t be any happier. Since Alex tends to be more cautious, he occasionally appreciates how adventurous Emily is. On the other hand, Emily admits to needing to be a little more introspective when making certain decisions, an area in which Alex comes to the rescue.

Analyzing Enneagram Type Compatibility

Unlike MBTI, which focuses on traits, Enneagram focuses on our motivations, fears, and desires. It categorizes personalities into nine distinct types and answers not just the whats but the whys about our personalities. Here’s a quick rundown of the nine types:

• Type 1 – The Reformer: Principled, purposeful, self-controlled
• Type 2 – The Helper: Generous, people-pleasing, possessive
• Type 3 – The Achiever: Success-oriented, pragmatic, adaptable
• Type 4 – The Individualist: Sensitive, expressive, dramatic
• Type 5 – The Investigator: Perceptive, innovative, secretive
• Type 6 – The Loyalist: Engaging, responsible, anxious
• Type 7 – The Enthusiast: Spontaneous, versatile, scattered
• Type 8 – The Challenger: Self-confident, decisive, confrontational
• Type 9 – The Peacemaker: Receptive, reassuring, complacent

If you’re a Type 2 (The Helper), one of the main ways you know how to and enjoy showing love is by helping others. However, if you have a partner who is Type 5 (The Investigator), you might find they are a bit resistant to your help, preferring to be independent and self-reliant.

Compatibility in the Enneagram is about balance and growth. It’s recognizing that while differences can be challenging, they help deepen our understanding and connections with people. A Type 1 (The Reformer) can learn to be more flexible from a Type 7 (The Enthusiast), while a Type 7 can benefit from the structure and discipline of a Type 1.

Which Factors Influence Compatibility?

Compatibility in a relationship, of course, goes beyond personality types. Several factors determine how compatible any two people are in a relationship.

Shared Values

Shared values are high on this list. When you and your partner have similar beliefs about what’s important in life—family, career ambitions, or social values—it creates a strong foundation for your relationship. Shared values make it easier to remember that you want the same things out of life whenever you go through a rocky patch.

Attraction

Another thing is attraction—whether it’s physical or intellectual, says Dr. Rostislav Ignatov, a board-certified psychiatrist and Chief Medical Officer at The Haven Detox. While it’s not the only thing that matters, having a strong attraction to your partner can create chemistry and deepen your emotional connection.

Communication

One of the biggest reasons many relationships fail is poor communication. Different personalities often have very distinct ways of expressing themselves and processing information. Some might be direct, while others prefer to be more nuanced. Understanding and adapting to each other’s communication styles can nip many fights in the bud.

Emotional Needs

Everyone also has emotional needs that can often be tied back to their personality type. Some people need frequent affirmations and physical affection. They usually want to see and feel how much you love them. For others, acts of service mean the world to them. It’s about learning what makes your partner feel loved and appreciated and consistently meeting those needs.

How to Tell If You and Your Partner Are Compatible

Figuring out how compatible you are with your partner isn’t difficult. 

• Begin by having very open conversations about your core values. What really matters to each of you? Do you want to get married, have kids, or move countries? Depending on what you determine is most important, you might find that you are even more aligned than you imagined or discover areas to work on together.
• Next, look at how you communicate. Do you feel heard and understood after talking to your partner? Do they feel heard? Any relationship is doomed to fail without effective and empathetic communication. In an argument, focus on what your partner is saying without planning your response. It can make a massive difference because we often plan rebuttals or comebacks in heated conversations, even before the other party has made their point.
• Observe how you and your partner handle conflicts, disagreements, and difficult conversations. Do you listen to each other’s perspectives? Are you both willing to compromise and find a solution together? Or are you constantly at odds and struggling to communicate effectively? These can be good indicators of how compatible you are in handling challenges as a team, adds Dr. Ignatov
• Pay attention to how they make you feel—do they uplift and inspire you or bring stress and negativity into your life? Being with the right partner should bring out the best in you and make you feel supported and loved. Our feelings towards someone can be a good and strong indicator of compatibility, says Dr. Ignatov.

What If My Partner and I Are Incompatible?

Having different personalities doesn’t have to be a problem; being aware that you do can be an excellent opportunity to improve your relationship. 

“I think couples should strive to appreciate each other’s strengths and recognize that differences can be opportunities for growth rather than sources of conflict. For instance, if one partner is naturally more introverted and the other extroverted, they can find a balance by scheduling social activities that both enjoy, as well as respecting each other’s need for alone time,” says Smith.

Active listening is a term you’ll hear a lot from us mental health professionals, and for good reason, says Dr. Ignatov. Active listening is a very effective communication tool, especially when navigating conflicts. It’s when we truly listen to understand rather than listening to respond. This can help bridge the gap between different personality types and create a deeper understanding and connection.

However, you shouldn’t sacrifice yourself and your well-being to make space for others. Set clear boundaries about the things that matter the most to you. Let your partner know if certain behaviors or habits make you want to pull your hair out, no matter how you try to compromise. Maybe you need quiet time after work, or your partner needs a heads-up before social events. Respecting each other’s needs helps reduce friction.

At what age is your brain the sharpest? Researchers have found that while some mental abilities tend to peak earlier in life, many don’t reach their highest point until around age 40 or later.

It can be helpful to learn more about when your brain might be at its best. While you might feel that you’re already past your prime, evidence suggests that there are actually many different pinnacles when it comes to your mental powers.

When Do Mental Powers Peak?

Research suggests that certain mental abilities reach their highest points at the following ages:

• 18-19: Information-processing speed peaks early, then immediately begins to decline.
• 25: Short-term memory gets better until around age 25. It remains fairly steady until it begins to decline around age 35.
• 30: Memory for faces peaks and then starts to gradually decline.
• 35: Your short-term memory begins to weaken and decline.
• 40s-50s: Emotional understanding peaks in middle to later adulthood.
• 60s: Vocabulary abilities continue to increase.
• 60s and 70s: Crystallized intelligence, or accumulated knowledge and facts about the world, peaks late in life.

Changes in the Adult Brain

Some of the earliest intelligence tests simply categorized all people over 16 as “adults.” Today, researchers recognize that the brain continues to develop and change throughout early adulthood and that there are significant changes in how the brain functions as people age.

Still, we often tend to think of the adult brain as a relatively stable and unchanging thing, suggesting that various mental abilities are simply static, or even on the decline, throughout most of adulthood.

There is also a tendency to believe that certain mental abilities, such as fluid intelligence, typically peak relatively early in adulthood. Crystallized intelligence, on the other hand, is often suggested to peak during late adulthood.

According to some experts, this long-held dichotomy might be far too simplistic. Researchers Joshua Hartshorne, PhD, and Laura Germine, PhD, utilized a large pool of online participants to gather information about which ages that specific mental abilities are the strongest.

What they found instead was that there was a surprising consistency to when particular abilities typically peak. Not only that, but many abilities don’t actually peak until later in adulthood, upending previous help views suggesting that brains peak early in life and decline with age.

Some Mental Abilities Peak Much Later in Life

According to the study published in the journal Psychological Science, different aspects of fluid intelligence peak at different ages, with some abilities hitting their apex as late as age 40.

According to Hartshorne, that’s because the brain is always changing. No matter what your age, you’re going to be getting stronger in some areas and worse in others.

Hartshorne had previously found that visual short-term memory peaks in the mid-30s before beginning to go down. In another study, Germine found that the ability to recognize faces also improves until people are in their early 30s and then begins to gradually decline.

Instead, different abilities seemed to peak at wildly different and sometimes surprising ages. These results helped inspire their further investigation into how mental abilities change with age.

How Researchers Looked at Mental Sharpness

How did researchers look at how mental abilities change with age? They drew a large online sample of participants who utilized brain training websites. Using the approach, the researchers gathered data from nearly 50,000 people across a wide range of ages.

Four different types of cognitive tasks were used, as well as one task that looked at the ability to detect the emotional states of other people. Hartshorne and Germine’s earlier research had shown that these tasks measured mental abilities that change as people age.

The results revealed what the researchers called “considerable heterogeneity in when cognitive abilities peak.”

Crystallized Intelligence and Other Abilities

While the results that crystallized intelligence peaks later in life are consistent with earlier findings, this study implies that this peak occurs much later in life than previously believed. What could explain this late peak in mental abilities?

The researchers suggest that their results might be due to the fact that people today have more education, greater access to information, and more mentally demanding jobs than did previous generations of adults.

The researchers are continuing their online research by introducing more cognitive tasks as well as tests designed to measure language abilities, executive function, and social and emotional intelligence. They also agree that further investigations are needed to determine exactly why mental powers peak at different ages.

The researchers note that while their study demonstrates that mental abilities peak at different ages in life, more research is needed to understand better how mental abilities change through life.

If you struggle with insomnia, you’re not alone. About 10% of adults suffer from an insomnia disorder, while another 20% occasionally experience insomnia symptoms. And not being able to get a good night’s sleep is more than just annoying: it can negatively affect both your mental and physical health. But never fear—I’m a licensed social worker and former therapist who has spent the last three years evaluating mental health apps and other resources, and I’ve put together a list of accessible and affordable sleep-focused apps dedicated to helping you fall asleep and stay asleep, so at the click of a button you can kiss your insomnia goodbye.

Compare Top Picks

Compare Top Picks

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People who meditate regularly swear by it, but others are often skeptical of it, thinking it’s a little, you know, woo-woo.

But what if we told you that meditation is actually a powerful way to train your brain to be calmer and sharper? That scientific studies have shown that meditating regularly can alter brain shape, size, and function?

“Meditation can actually create structural changes in the brain. It has been shown to increase gray matter in the brain, particularly in areas related to learning, memory, emotion regulation, and perspective,” says Mirela Loftus, MD, PhD, medical director at Newport Healthcare.

Based on the amount of scientific evidence supporting meditation, every doctor would be prescribing it if it were a pill, says Gary Soffer, MD, an integrative medicine specialist at Yale Medicine.

Let’s dive in and take a look at what meditating regularly does to your brain.

What Meditating Every Day Does to Your Brain

While meditation is an ancient practice, science is still unlocking the full spectrum of its benefits. A surge in research over the past few decades has investigated meditation’s effects on both the brain and body. 

Electroencephalography (EEG) and structural/functional magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) techniques have been used to map the brain and study the effects of meditation on the brain. 

Increases Gray Matter

Meditation increases gray matter in the brain, particularly in areas related to learning, memory, emotion regulation, and perspective, says Dr. Loftus. In fact, imaging studies show that meditation increases the size and volume of the brain, due to increased gray matter concentration.

Strengthens the Prefrontal Cortex

Regular meditation is linked to increased thickness of the prefrontal cortex, which is associated with higher-order brain functions such as awareness, concentration, memory, and decision-making, Dr. Loftus explains. 

MRI scans have found that in addition to increasing the gray matter in the prefrontal cortex, meditation also improves the neural connectivity and cognitive function in this area.

Improves Neuroplasticity

Neuroplasticity is the brain’s ability to change and rewire itself based on new information and experiences. Meditation increases neuroplasticity by improving neural connectivity patterns across different regions of the brain.

By enhancing connectivity between different brain regions, meditation can improve cognitive functions, information processing, and emotional regulation, says Dr. Loftus.

Boosts Dopamine and Serotonin

Dopamine and serotonin are neurotransmitters, or chemical messengers in the brain. Meditation is linked to a larger quantity of positive neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine in the brain, says Dr. Soffer.

Apart from regulating functions like sleep, growth, and metabolism, these chemicals play an important role in maintaining our emotional equilibrium, by making us feel positive and happy.

Alters Brain Waves

Meditation not only calms our blood pressure, respiratory rate, and heart rate, it also alters our brain waves. This helps us relax, concentrate, and process information better.

Those who practice meditation regularly often exhibit higher levels of gamma brain waves, which are associated with heightened perception, problem-solving, and consciousness, says Dr. Loftus.

Decreases the Size of the Amygdala

The amygdala, which is responsible for the fight-or-flight response, tends to shrink in people who meditate regularly, says Dr. Loftus. Research shows that this significantly reduces our stress levels.

Benefits of Meditation

As a result of these changes in the brain, meditation offers us several mental, emotional, and cognitive benefits. In fact, in addition to improving certain mental health conditions, it also benefits our nervous system and immune system, says Dr. Soffer. 

Research shows us that meditation can improve:

• Mood
• Emotional regulation
• Self-awareness
• Attention
• Concentration 
• Memory
• Spatial abilities
• Execution function (thinking, planning, decision-making)
• Conflict resolution
• Mindfulness
• Relaxation
• Self-compassion
• Stress
• Sleep
• Pain
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Insomnia
• Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

How to Meditate Every Day

The best way to reap the benefits of meditation is to incorporate it into your daily routine and practice it every day. The benefits can be vast if you stick to the practice, says Dr. Soffer.

Here’s how you can make daily meditation a habit:

• Start small: You can start with just a few minutes every day. Even five minutes of meditation can be helpful. As you get more comfortable with it, you can work your way up to longer sessions.
• Find a time that works for you: Choose a specific time of day that works best for you, whether it’s first thing in the morning, during your lunch break, or before bed. Consistency helps in forming a habit.
• Pick a quiet spot: Choose a place where you can sit comfortably and won’t be interrupted. It could be a swing on your porch, a cozy chair in your room, or even a quiet corner in your office.
• Set the ambience: If you like, you can set the ambience for your meditation session by dimming the lights, playing gentle soothing music, and lighting a scented candle.
• Set an intention: Before you start meditating, set a clear intention or goal for your practice. It could be to reduce stress, increase focus, or simply take a break from your busy day.
• Use a guided meditation program: If you’re new to meditating and not sure how to go about it, it can be easier to start with a guided meditation program that takes you through the steps. There are several free programs available online—you can choose the one that best fits your needs and your schedule.
• Focus on your breath: Use your breath to anchor you to the present. If your mind wanders to other things, gently bring your focus back to your breath.
• Reflect on the practice: After you finish, take a moment to reflect on your session. What did you feel and learn? If you like, you can write down your thoughts in a journal.
• Be patient with yourself: Building a new habit takes time. Be patient with yourself on this journey. Don’t get frustrated if your mind wanders or if you miss a day. Some days will be easier and others will be harder.

Sample Meditations to Try

If you want to get started with meditation, these are a few types you can try.

Breath Awareness Meditation

Breath awareness meditation simply involves focusing your attention on your breath. Here’s how to do it: 

• Sit comfortably and close your eyes.
• Taking deep breaths, bring your attention to your breath. Pay attention to the way the air comes in through your nose, fills up your stomach, and goes out again.
• If your attention wanders, gently bring it back to your breath.
• Do this for as long as you like. When you’re done, open your eyes slowly.

Body Scan Meditation

Body scan meditation involves bringing your attention to each part of your body and consciously relaxing it, one at a time. Here’s how to do it: 

• Lie down on your back and close your eyes.
• Bring your attention to your toes, breathing into them and relaxing them. Notice any sensations you feel without trying to change anything.
• Slowly move your focus to your feet, ankles, calves, knees, thighs, and so on, up to the top of your head.
• After you finish scanning your entire body, take a few deep breaths and open your eyes.

Loving-Kindness Meditation

Loving-kindness meditation involves sending kind thoughts to yourself, your loved ones, and the world around you. Here’s how to do it: 

• Get comfortable, close your eyes, and take a few deep breaths.
• Send kindness to yourself. You can repeat silently, “May I be happy. May I be healthy. May I be safe.”
• Extend kindness to your loved ones. Think of someone you love and repeat, “May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you be safe.”
• Expand kindness to others. Gradually extend these wishes to a neutral person, someone you have difficulty with, and finally to all living beings.

Walking Meditation

If you find sitting still difficult and prefer movement, walking meditation may be for you. Here’s how to do it: 

• Find a quiet space to walk comfortably back and forth.
• Walk slowly, paying attention to the sensations in your feet as they make contact with the ground.
• Coordinate your breath with your steps, inhaling and exhaling with each step.
• Notice any thoughts that come to you, letting them go and returning your focus to walking.
• Turn around and continue walking mindfully when you reach the end of your space.
• When you’re done, stand still, take a few deep breaths, and reflect on the experience.