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Growing up with a sibling who had complex needs such as chronic illness or disabilities probably meant you often felt “invisible” to your parents. You knew your siblings needed more help than you, so you learned to take care of yourself at an early age. 

You’re self-sufficient, responsible, and helpful. But you may also struggle with mental health challenges like perfectionism or people-pleasing and find it difficult to set boundaries. If this sounds familiar, you may have grown up as a glass child.

What Is a “Glass Child”?

“Glass child” is not a medical condition or mental health diagnosis, but a colloquial term used to describe certain challenges and strengths experienced by a child who grew up with a high-needs sibling. 

“Glass children learn early on in their lives to meet their own needs and express very little,” she says. “They come across as highly mature and even-tempered. This can be a strength as grown-ups in their life tend to feel positive about their presentation. Unfortunately, this strength is also a vulnerability to the child as it makes it hard for them to reach out when they do need support.”

Emotions Experiences of Being a Glass Child

Angela Pei Wu, LMFT, a life empowerment coach, explains that a child with complex needs has the most power in the family system because they require extra attention and care. “Family members will often adjust and accommodate their own schedules, habits, needs, and way of being for the intensive needs child,” she says.

Resentment and Guilt

An intensive needs child can bring a lot of love and support. However, it is natural for parents or main caregivers to feel burnt out and tired, especially when they neglect their own needs. Or the needs of their other children.

Wu adds that parents are so focused on their complex needs child that they may often forget that their other children also have needs as well. Because of this, some siblings may feel jealous or resentful.

Glass children “may even feel guilty for having negative feelings towards their siblings,” Wu says. “Others may try to make themselves as perfect as possible and not ‘rock the boat.'”

Impact on Mental Health

“Adults who grew up as glass children may have perfectionistic tendencies,” says Wu. Perfectionism is associated with anxiety disorders, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and eating disorders. Glass children may also struggle with setting boundaries, which can negatively impact their relationships and increase their stress levels. 

The Role of Culture

Wu adds that culture also plays an important component in family relationships. For instance, “in Asian cultures, sibling gender and order informs their family roles. First-born sons and daughters may feel the additional burdens of taking care of their families,” Wu says.

“Traditional gender roles may cause eldest daughters to be their family’s caretakers,” she says. “As [intensive] needs is a taboo topic in Asian culture, families may feel the need to “save face” or hide the [complex] needs child due to shame. This causes families to be less likely to ask for support, putting an additional burden on the family system.”

Coping Strategies for Glass Children

There are several ways to cope if you identify as a glass child. When a child has buried their needs on behalf of the family, it’s important they learn how to openly express themselves, says Harwood. This can be a challenge for a glass child who has coped primarily through shrinking and minimizing their feelings and needs. 

Learn To Express Their Needs

Harwood suggests glass children use creative hand signals to help them communicate their needs. Or, write their feelings in a journal. “We want them to learn to take up space and reach for us even when their needs feel small in comparison with a higher needs sibling,” says Harwood.

Identify and Recognize Unhealthy Patterns 

For those who grew up as glass children, it’s crucial to recognize unhealthy behaviors such as perfectionism and people-pleasing.

Some patterns include:

• Feeling the need to put themselves last
• Feeling responsible for things out of their control
• Having poor boundaries
• Overworking
• Being overly critical of themselves

“Once these behaviors and patterns that are not beneficial are identified, glass children can work toward setting boundaries, identifying and honoring their needs, developing self-affirming language, and releasing themselves from things outside of their control,” Wu says.

Parenting a Glass Child

If you are a parent of a glass child, you may be worried that you are causing these negative experiences. It’s important to recognize the needs and emotions of glass children and create a supportive and inclusive environment that provides attention, care, and resources for each child.

Recognizing Needs

Harwood says the first step to recognizing the needs of a glass child is to take the time to check in with them. Ask about their feelings and emotions and listen with presence and attention when they respond. This helps them learn that they and their needs are valid and important.

Pay Attention To Subtle Cues

Harwood emphasizes the need for parents to pay attention to the subtle emotional cues of their glass child. Glass children may not express needs in overt ways, but there are small signs that indicate emotional distress. For example, notice when they quietly leave a room or turn their faces away or down during a tense moment. 

“The more we attune to [a glass child’s] emotional state, the more likely it will be that we start to understand what they need,” Harwood says.

Support Groups

Harwood also suggests finding support groups for children with high-needs siblings. These support systems can become safe, understanding, and compassionate spaces for glass children to express their feelings and relate to one another.

Sibling Relationships and Glass Children

Wu adds that the experience of having a sibling with intensive needs can cause a myriad of emotions towards their sibling “such as love, joy, worry, fear, guilt, and maybe even resentment.”

Parentification

Glass children can often feel the responsibility for their complex needs sibling, which can lead to them being very mature, responsible, and even parentified.

Wu defines parentification as a child taking on parental duties for their siblings or parents. “Parentification develops when children perceive their parents as too overwhelmed or incapable of fulfilling their parental duties. When this happens, parentified children become ‘little adults‘ to help alleviate the family burden,” she says.

In a case where a family has a high-needs child, parents may unintentionally cause parentification by reinforcing the child’s caregiving qualities, Wu says.

“Glass children learn that to be ‘good’ is to put their siblings before themselves,” Wu says, minimizing their own needs, which can build resentment towards siblings and parents. “These caretaking siblings develop people-pleasing tendencies which may affect them into adulthood,” she adds.

Resources and Support for Glass Children and Families

Harwood says glass children need attuned and connected parents who remember to prioritize their needs, despite the high needs of another child. “The best resource for a glass child is a secure attachment with at least one of their parents,” she adds.

Recommended Books

Harwood recommends the following books for glass children and their parents:

• For parents and older glass children: ”Living with a Brother or Sister with Special Needs: A Book for Sibs“ by Donald Meyer and Patricia F. Vadasy
• For teen glass children: ”The Sibling Survival Guide: Indispensable Information for Brothers and Sisters of Adults With Disabilities“ by Don Meyer 
• For younger children: “I am Just as Special: How to be a Sibling of a Special Needs Child” by Lena Hanna

Rage rooms, also known as anger rooms or smash rooms, are spaces where people can vent their frustration by breaking or smashing objects. The idea behind this is that people can express their anger in a safe and controlled environment, which is thought to reduce or defuse pent-up emotions and relieve stress.

These anger rooms have become popular as recreational therapy or self-therapy in recent years. It seems like an appealing outlet for frustration where you can smash, crash, break things free of consequences—or so it seems. 

Mental health research suggests that while these rooms keep people safe while they vent their rage, the act of venting your anger in this way has more serious consequences. Venting anger doesn’t actually result in catharsis or relief—instead, it typically reinforces and even worsens anger.

How Do Rage Rooms Work?

Rage rooms are set up with breakable items for patrons to smash for a few minutes at a time. In an anger room, you have the opportunity to destroy something without having to feel bad about it or even clean up afterward.

So, what’s the idea behind this activity? What does it have to do with stress management?

Anger rooms are based on the catharsis theory of aggression. This theory suggests that if people are able to vent their frustration and anger, this anger will decrease.

Blowing off steam makes many people feel better at the moment, but are these rooms healthy stress management strategies or effective for anger management in the long run? How do they compare to simply hitting a pillow or going to the gym to blow off steam?

In one study, researchers created a virtual “smash room” that allowed cancer patients to smash and break objects using a VR device. Reviews of the activity were mixed.

While some felt it was enjoyable, others reported disliking expressing emotions in such a public, visible way. One participant suggested that mending or organizing objects would have been more enjoyable than breaking them. 

Such findings suggest that more research is needed to understand how anger rooms might affect people.

What Rage Rooms Are *Really* Accomplishing

The idea behind them has been around for quite a while—after all, most of us have been angry enough to break something at least once in a while.

While there’s not a lot of data about rage rooms, researchers have looked at what happens when people act out on feelings of aggression, frustration, and anger.

They May Provide a Short-Term Outlet for Anger

Anger rooms might provide some temporary relief from strong emotions. When you’re angry and frustrated, finding an outlet to release some of your tension can feel good.

When you combine this with anger rooms being very physical (with all that swinging bats, smashing glass, and throwing objects against the wall), you might walk away feeling a temporary sense of release.

It Fosters an Unhealthy Expression of Anger

While venting anger is often seen as a way to effectively relief feelings of frustration and stress, research has actually found that blowing off steam through physical acts of aggression and violence makes your anger worse.

Studies have found that physical outbursts of aggression teach your body to respond to feelings of stress, anger, and frustration with violence.

Anger Rooms Probably Lead to More Anger

We can’t say for sure what the effects of visiting one of these rage rooms might be—there’s just no research or statistics assessing their short- or long-term effects.

The available research does suggest that acting aggressively does lead to more aggressive behavior in the future. One study found that people who acted aggressively after they were provoked did sometimes feel better immediately after.

Unfortunately, this relief was short-lived. People who felt better after they acted aggressively were then more likely to respond with aggression the next time they felt angry.

Healthier Alternatives to Rage Rooms

In addition to evaluating the source of frustration, research has also found that some other forms of stress management may be more effective than taking our aggression on inanimate objects.

Other cognitive-behavioral techniques have also been found to be helpful without the damaging side-effects of venting anger; these techniques include the following:

• Progressive muscle relaxation: Take some time to tense each muscle in your body and then consciously relax them to help calm and soothe yourself physically.
• Cognitive restructuring: This means shifting your perspective to a less angry one by thinking of things differently.
• Social skills training or assertiveness training: This form of behavior therapy teaches you to relate to others in a healthier way so you can avoid becoming as angry and stressed.
• Problem-solving: Not all problems can be easily fixed, but many can. Becoming more proactive when possible can help minimize stressors in your life.
• Exposure to the stressor: This is recommended for many issues including anxiety, and involves facing something that causes you to stress, in small but increasing doses until you feel less stressed and more able to cope with the stressor.
• Education about anger and anger management: Learning more about anger and how to have a healthy relationship with your anger can minimize the need for a place to blow off steam and help you keep yourself from taking out your anger on others.
• Stress management: Being proactive with stress management can help you to build resilience so you don’t feel as stressed by new things that affect you in your life. There are many effective ways to manage stress!

Can Rage Rooms Have *Any* Benefits?

This begs the question—if venting our anger by breaking things helps many of us feel like we’ve decreased our anger, isn’t it a useful activity to try when we’re at our wit’s end?

Could it be a worthwhile activity for a Saturday night out with friends? Doesn’t this research miss that these rooms are all in good fun?

For many, there might be something beneficial to this activity after all. There is a reason these places are drawing crowds and increasing in popularity, and they do bring some benefits as well, especially if you already know the caveats.

The following are a few good reasons you may want to visit one of these places after all:

To Try Something New

If you’re curious about these places you may want to try them out to satisfy your curiosity! It can be an interesting form of exercise. It can give you a funny story to share with your friends. It can also be a fun activity to bring them along to, which leads to the next point.

For Bonding

If you’re going with a group of friends, it may be a bonding experience to break things together. If you go with your partner or a friend who is experiencing the same stress you are, this can also be a fun way to blow off steam and connect.

For Pure Fun

Studies also show that it’s important to have fun in your life to improve your mood, manage stress, and maintain balance. If it’s fun for you to go out and break things, this may still be a much healthier activity than sitting at home ruminating over what’s making you angry.

If it gets you into a better mood with a spirit of fun, you may want to go for it. (Again, just remember to create some other habits for yourself as well that can help you to manage stress and anger in your life.)

Although we can make life plans, things don’t always go the way we expect. Our relationship doesn’t last, our position at work is cut, or some other obstacle is unexpectedly placed in our way. When these unexpected situations add up, it’s easy to become anxious and feel as if life is out of control.

Learning why you may feel like your life is out of control helps you understand the underlying issues that may be causing these feelings. We also discuss several actions you can take if life feels a little haywire, helping you feel better about your circumstances—even if you can’t control them.

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Reasons Life Can Feel Out of Control

Feeling like life is out of control comes from the anxiety of not always having access to the driver’s seat of life. People have no idea when disaster may strike and for how long, so it produces fear that triggers other emotions like sadness, frustration, and anger.

That said, there are plenty of situations in which life may feel out of control. The following are a few to consider.

Excessive Stress

A lot of overwhelming feelings can be caused by stress coming in at every corner. A person can feel overloaded with the pressures of having to keep everything together for their family, job, finances, and more. It all starts to pile up, creating the feeling that you’re not in control of your life around you.

Health Concerns

People tend to worry about their physical and mental health, especially when they have a chronic health condition or are susceptible to illness. Add this to the chance of disease suddenly making an appearance and it’s no wonder a person may feel a loss of control over their health and wellness.

Relationship Issues

Whether you’re busy being a parent, spouse, friend, caretaker, or some other role, every relationship has something in common. Two people are involved. While you may have control over your own actions or feelings, you cannot control how another person acts or feels.

Additionally, if you find yourself in a toxic relationship (with a partner, friend, or even family member), this could cause you to feel like your life is spinning out of control. This feeling can be especially prominent when attempts to mend the relationship have failed.

Large-Scale Crises

Highly contagious viruses, natural disasters, and social injustices are all large-scale challenges. Since they affect so many people, it’s easy to feel a loss of control. Situations such as these can also produce feelings of defenselessness, anxiety, fear, and even anger.

Work Challenges

There are times when a person’s job consumes all of their time and seems as if it’s taking over their life. People can also become overwhelmed by what they need to get done inside and outside of the workplace, creating a sense that they have no control.

Personal Tragedy

Experiencing a tragic life event such as a death in the family, job loss, or being a victim of crime can produce a lot of overwhelming emotions. Since these kinds of situations are out of your control, you may feel helpless and lost.

What to Do When Life Feels Out of Control

When life starts to feel out of control, taking these actions can help.

Engage in Self-Care

It is perfectly okay to take some time for yourself. In fact, doing so offers many benefits. For instance, a study involving medical students found that when they engaged in self-care, they were better at managing stress and had an improved quality of life.

Effective self-care strategies include:

• Exercising regularly
• Eating healthy meals
• Getting adequate sleep
• Engaging in relaxing activities
• Practicing gratitude
• Staying positive
• Staying connected with family and friends

Change Your Perspective

Rather than viewing your life as out of control, it may help to develop an “it is what it is” perspective. This does not mean accepting poor treatment. Instead, it involves letting go of control and not fixating on achieving specific outcomes, which can life lead to greater life satisfaction.

Control Things You Can Change

Even though we may not have control of everything in our lives, we do still have control of some things. Work on changing the things in life that you do have control over, like going to the gym more often, eating fewer sweets, or removing a toxic person from your life.

Be Confident in Your Decisions

Life can feel out of control when you are constantly worrying and wondering if you are making the right choices. We tend to want to make sure we get it just right, almost perfect—but nothing will ever be perfect.

Take pride in what you created for your life and, if you made a few bad decisions, learn from them and move forward. Use your mistakes to foster personal growth and wisdom. Be appreciative of challenging situations that push you to keep going and bring you to better times.

Talk it Out

If you feel overwhelmed and stressed, it can be beneficial to talk about what may be making you feel this way. Whether you speak with a loved one or find a qualified therapist, it’s helpful to have someone with whom you can voice your concerns and worries. They can help you deconstruct your feelings and sort them out accordingly.

Pick Up a Hobby

Hobbies are a great way to take your mind off of things you can’t change. Whether you start going for a daily walk, get into woodworking, or begin keeping a journal, picking up a hobby may help you to feel a bit of an escape from life’s challenges.

Think Positively

Strive to think positively. Life won’t always feel this way. So, practice focusing on what is going well in your life and aim to be thankful for the things you do have.

It’s also important to remember that sometimes you have to take the bad with the good. Do your best to be appreciative of challenging situations in your life because they can be a catalyst for massive personal growth.

They are your whole world. You can’t get enough of them, and you want to be with them *all* of the time. It might feel like love, but could it actually be an addiction? While it might sound far-fetched, it really can happen! Like other types of addiction, being addicted to a person can be unhealthy or even dangerous. While it’s most common with significant others, it can happen with anyone in your life.

Yes, you really can be addicted to a person, or at least to the rush of neurochemicals you get whenever you are around them. But it’s important to distinguish between real love and addiction. Love is marked by healthy boundaries, mutual respect, and support, while addiction leads to problems like obsessive thinking, jealousy, and the loss of other relationships. This isn’t just unhealthy; it can be dangerous if the situation becomes abusive or unstable.

Is It Really Possible to be Addicted to Another Person?

In short, yes. It’s completely possible to be addicted to another human.

Addiction is a compulsion to do something that makes you feel a certain way—usually, something that floods your brain with happy chemicals, such as dopamine or oxytocin. By triggering the brain’s reward systems, being around that person generates feelings of euphoria and excitement—an experience your brain then urges you to keep seeking out.

Addiction specialists believe that addiction can occur with anything and that a person can subsequently suffer from an unhealthy addiction to anything or anyone. While we tend to think of addiction purely in terms of substances, it is also possible to get addicted to certain behaviors or experiences. Behavioral addictions compel people to keep engaging in actions, even when doing so leads to negative consequences.

The Differences Between Love and Addiction

Addiction to a person may feel like love to you, but it manifests in unhealthy ways. Let’s look at the differences between a loving relationship and an addictive one.

Characteristics of a Loving Relationship

• Healthy boundaries are easy to keep
• You feel free to talk about your feelings with them
• You both take alone time and encourage one another’s solo outings and activities
• You respect their privacy
• Your self-esteem does not depend on your partner’s thoughts of you
• No one in your life is concerned about your level of involvement with them

Characteristics of an Addictive Relationship

• You feel uncomfortable or like you can’t handle life when they aren’t there
• You think they are the only person you will ever love
• They are expected to fulfill all of your needs
• You feel jealous or upset if they do anything outside of the relationship
• Friends and loved ones from your life before this person are worried about you; you may be in less frequent contact with them, as well

Why You Might Become Addicted to a Person

Now that you understand how to differentiate between love and addiction, you’re probably wondering why addiction to another person might occur. Here are some of the top reasons.

You’re Seeking A High

New people can be very exciting, and interaction with someone can flood our brains with feel-good chemicals. If you meet someone and they make you feel like a better version of yourself, it can become addictive to want more of that feeling.

You’re Prone to Addiction

A person with an addictive personality is one who has challenges with moderation, which isn’t necessarily only in relation to drugs and alcohol. People prone to addiction may be more likely to exhibit mood swings, impulsivity, thrill-seeking behaviors, and low self-esteem.

For instance, a genetic background of family members who suffer from addiction may increase your risk of addiction. Additionally, environmental factors such as poverty play a contributing role. And lastly, mental health conditions can increase addiction risks.

You Never Saw What a Healthy Relationship Looked Like

The relationships we see and experience as children have a powerful effect on how we engage in adult relationships. If you’ve never seen an example of a healthy relationship in your life, it can impact how you navigate relationships in adulthood.

Why Addiction to a Person Can Be Harmful

Pop songs might make it sound fun, but addiction to another person can be dangerous. These are the reasons why:

• You may stay with someone even if they become abusive
• The rest of your life, such as your work or school, may suffer because you give less time and energy to it
• People in healthy relationships may no longer want to be around you
• You may use substances to cope with troubles in the relationship
• If the relationship ends, you may feel unable to cope with life

What to Do If You Think You’re Addicted to A Person

Being addicted to someone is mentally unhealthy, but it doesn’t have to be permanent. You can take steps to turn your relationship and your life around for the better.

It’s possible to educate yourself, and to get help, so that you can change. It may take some time, but as you start to recognize these patterns, you can make progress toward establishing healthier, more fulfilling connections.

Learn About Addiction

Addiction can be lifelong, so if you’re experiencing it as a life issue, it’s very important that you work to understand what it is and your own personal risk factors.

Addiction recovery programs offer substantial literature, usually in the blog sections of their websites, about addiction-related issues. Educating yourself about what addiction is and how it has been at play in your life can be a key step to your recovery.

Learn About Codependence

Addiction and codependence may be intertwined. Codependence defines a relationship dynamic where people rely on one another to an unhealthy extent. This may be particularly apt if you are in a relationship where each of you feels addicted to the other.

There are many steps you can take to stop being codependent, as it is fully possible to recover from it. Taking care of your needs, establishing healthier boundaries, and communicating with others who experience codependency can all play a part in helping you change your patterns.

Seek Professional Help

Educating yourself can potentially be enough to help you shift away from addictive behavior, but this is often not the case.

It’s very normal to need professional help. Many types might be right for you, from a relationship therapist to an addiction program.

Conscientiousness is a core personality trait that involves being diligent, responsible, and careful.   When someone is conscientious, they are able to exercise self-discipline and self-control in order to pursue and ultimately achieve their goals.

People with high conscientiousness are also organized, determined, and able to postpone immediate gratification—all of which contribute to a more successful life.

Conscientiousness As a Big Five Personality Trait

Many psychologists believe that while there are thousands of different personality traits, they all fall into one of five basic categories. These are known as the Big Five personality traits:

If you score high in conscientiousness, that doesn’t mean that you won’t find other aspects of the Big Five within your personality. Each trait is viewed on a continuum. You can be high, low, or somewhere in the middle when it comes to each trait.

In other words, even though you may be dominant in conscientiousness, you will still have some level of the other four traits represented. The Big Five is a useful tool for understanding personality and is also helpful in identifying how people respond to different scenarios or stressors in their lives.

Common Characteristics of Conscientiousness

While some people are more likely to choose what feels good right now, conscientious people tend to work diligently to achieve goals they’ve set for their future. They are responsible, reliable, organized, and hard-working. They also pay attention to detail to make sure they deliver on their promises.

Someone who is conscientious will rarely make impulsive or careless decisions. Instead, their decision-making style tends to be more rational and dependent (requiring support or guidance from others) and less spontaneous.

Words often used to describe a conscientious person include:

Conversely, people who are low in conscientiousness tend to prioritize having fun in the moment. They are often described as casual, laid-back, and relaxed. They are less likely to follow schedules and aren’t prone to extensive planning.

Signs of Conscientiousness

If you are a conscientious person, there are some common behaviors that you are likely to witness in your life. You might say about yourself:

• I like for things to be neat and clean.
• I prefer order and organization.
• I try to always be prepared.
• I plan ahead and follow a schedule.
• I like to be precise and pay attention to details.
• I work hard and produce high-quality work.
• I get work done right away.

How Prevalent Is Conscientiousness?

When it comes to determining conscientiousness (and the other four traits in the Big Five), most people complete a self-report questionnaire. These inventories usually contain statements in which test-takers must decide to what extent they agree or disagree.

Because conscientiousness is measured through self-inventory, it’s difficult to determine its prevalence within the general public. It is not a diagnosis, but simply an aspect of personality that helps people better understand why they do the things they do.

So, people can be very high in conscientiousness, very low, or somewhere in between. This makes the act of measuring this personality trait and understanding its prevalence even more complex.

How Conscientiousness Influences Behavior

When someone tests high in conscientiousness, they are likely very dependable and organized. They also tend to be able to control their impulses. Within the trait of conscientiousness, there are six facets or sub-traits that further describe personality.

Achievement-Oriented

People who score high in conscientiousness tend to be high achievers—in school, at work, and even when playing sports. They are always striving for excellence in everything they do. Consequently, they are often extremely ambitious and tend to have lofty goals.

Meanwhile, those that score lower in conscientiousness may sometimes be viewed as lazy. They may be more content with doing minimal work or skimping on their responsibilities.

Cautious

If someone scores high in conscientiousness, they are likely to carefully consider all the facts before making decisions. They tend to think most things through and consider the consequences before finally acting.

Dutiful

When someone scores high in conscientiousness, they are typically a very reliable person with a strong sense of duty and moral obligation. They honor their commitments and follow through on their promises. Leaders with this trait have higher ratings in integrity and accountability.

People who score low in conscientiousness tend to view rules and regulations as restricting, limiting, and confining. They may not feel responsible for anyone other than themselves. Consequently, low scorers may be viewed as irresponsible and insubordinate.

Orderly

Typically, when someone is high in conscientiousness, they are highly organized and thrive with schedules and routines. They may enjoy list-making and are often punctual with their time.

Many times, people with this trait will describe themselves as self-starters who are both orderly and neat. Conversely, someone low in conscientiousness may appear more disorganized or feel scatterbrained.

Self-Disciplined

People scoring high in conscientiousness are often very self-disciplined. They tend to persevere even when things get difficult or unpleasant. Some refer to this as having grit, which is closely connected to conscientiousness and self-discipline.

Low conscientiousness, however, may lead to the failure to complete tasks, especially if they are perceived as being too difficult.

Prone to Self-Efficacy

When someone scores high in conscientiousness, they often have high self-efficacy. Self-efficacy means having complete confidence in their ability to reach their goals and be successful. They tend to believe in themselves and their abilities and have a great deal of ambition to see things through to the end.

Conversely, people who score low in conscientiousness tend to feel ineffective. They also often believe that they have no control over their lives.

What Causes Conscientiousness?

Like other personality traits, research suggests both genetic and environmental factors play a role in the development of conscientiousness.

Other factors that may impact how conscientiousness develops and is expressed include parenting styles, education, upbringing, life experiences, and age. 

Research has shown that some aspects of conscientiousness tend to change at different periods of development. Conscientiousness tends to be lower in younger people but increases during adulthood.

Pros and Cons of Conscientiousness

Like all personality traits, there are pros and cons to conscientiousness. It often depends on the context and how this trait interacts with other characteristics of the individual and the situation.

The Upsides of Conscientiousness

Multiple studies have shown that being conscientious is associated with better health. This may be because people who score high in conscientiousness tend to engage in lower-risk health behaviors. For example, studies indicate that the higher one’s level of conscientiousness, the lower their rate of substance use.

Other research-supported benefits of being conscientious include:

Potential Downsides of Conscientiousness

Even so, there are some potential downsides to scoring high in this personality trait. For instance, people who are conscientious can become too serious. Therefore, they may need some help lightening up and having fun.

A highly conscientious person can also become overly rigid or inflexible and struggle to be spontaneous. In extreme cases, they may struggle with perfectionism and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Ways to Increase Conscientiousness

Do you wish you had more of this personality trait? The good news is that you can change your level of conscientiousness—even if you’re struggling to do so motivationally. You might try these strategies:

Avoid Procrastination

Find strategies to help you deal with procrastination. Instead of putting things off until later, take care of them when they first arise. This keeps your to-do list from getting too long while also helping you work on your self-control.

Consider Decisions Carefully

You may be tempted to act on a decision quickly when faced with it. However, take the time to consider your options if you can. This can stop you from being impulsive, helping you act more cautiously.

Create a Weekly Schedule

Take time once a week to plan the following week. Put scheduled events on your calendar and note the tasks that you want to get done each day.

Get Organized

Look for ways that you can become more organized. File paperwork away, clean your closets, and organize your drawers. Come up with a place for all your things and get rid of the items you don’t need.

Set Goals

Conscientious people are goal-oriented. So, take the time to set goals for yourself. Next, develop a plan for meeting them.

Slow Down

If you are low in conscientiousness, you may have a tendency to skip the smaller details. Slow yourself down when you’re tempted to do this, paying closer attention to whatever it is you’re working on.

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The American Psychological Association (APA) defines sublimation as “a defense mechanism in which unacceptable sexual or aggressive drives are unconsciously channeled into socially acceptable modes of expression and redirected into new, learned behaviors, which indirectly provide some satisfaction for the original drives.”

We all experience unwanted impulses or urges from time to time. We want to yell and scream at someone who cuts in front of us at the store, for instance. Or we see an attractive person and feel an urge to flirt with them even though we are in a committed relationship.

How we deal with those feelings can influence whether we engage in acceptable or socially unacceptable behaviors. Acting on these urges in the wrong way can be inappropriate, so finding more suitable ways to deal with such desires is critical.

One way that people deal with these urges in an acceptable way is through a process known in psychology as sublimation. Through sublimation, people are able to transform unwanted impulses into something that is less harmful and often even helpful.

How Does Sublimation Work?

Sublimation can transform negative impulses into behaviors that are not only less damaging but sometimes productive in nature. For example, consider what might happen if you are overcome with anger.

An emotional blow-up is one way of dealing with this feeling, but this type of emotional response can be harmful. You might find yourself with damaged relationships, for example, or earn the reputation of being a hothead.

Rather than fly off in a fit of rage, what if you channeled your angry emotions into some type of physical activity, such as cleaning your house? After spending a few hours angrily scrubbing down your kitchen and bathrooms, your feelings eventually subside and you are left with a positive result—a sparkling clean home.

Sublimation in Psychoanalysis

Sublimation is a defense mechanism, which is an unconscious psychological defense that reduces the anxiety that may result from unacceptable urges or harmful stimuli. The concept of sublimation has a central role in Sigmund Freud‘s psychoanalytic theory.

According to Freud’s psychoanalytic theory, there are three components of personality: the id, the ego, and the superego.

• The id is the first to form and serves as the source of the libido or the energy that drives behavior. The id is primitive and basic, composed of all the urges and desires that are often socially unacceptable if we simply acted upon them whenever we pleased.
• The ego emerges later during childhood and is the part of the personality that reigns in the id, making it conform to the demands of reality. Rather than simply acting out on urges, the ego forces us to deal with these desires in ways that are more realistic.
• The superego is the component of personality that is made up of all the morals, rules, standards, and values that we have internalized from our parents and culture. This part of personality strives to make us behave in ways that are moral.

Sublimation is one way that the ego reduces the anxiety that can be created by unacceptable urges or feelings. It works by channeling negative and unacceptable impulses into behaviors that are positive and socially acceptable.

Freud and Sublimation

Freud’s idea of sublimation originated while he was reading the story of a man who tortured animals as a child and later went on to become a surgeon. Freud believed that the same energy that once drove the child’s sadism was eventually sublimated into positive and socially acceptable actions that benefited others.

Freud considered sublimation a sign of maturity that allows people to behave in civilized and acceptable ways. This process can lead people to pursue activities that are better for their health, for instance, or to engage in behaviors that are positive, productive, and creative.

Examples of Sublimation

Participation in sports and athletic competitions can sometimes be examples of sublimation in action. Rather than acting on an unacceptable urge to be physically aggressive with others, people may play competitive sports to satisfy their impulse to dominate and win.

In another example, imagine that you get into an argument with your next door neighbor. Your feelings of anger might create an urge to physically strike them. Because this action is inappropriate, you might deal with your feelings more appropriately by going for a jog.

Other real-world examples of sublimation include:

• You feel an urge to be unfaithful to your partner. Rather than act on this unacceptable urge, you channel your energy into projects around the yard.
• You become distraught at the end of a relationship. To deal with these negative emotions, you begin writing poetry. You are able to transfer your heartbreak and emotional upset into a creative activity.
• You are reprimanded by your manager at work. You are fearful that you might lose your job and decide to walk home from work in order to think and release your frustrations. This activity not only gives you time to calm down and reflect, but also benefits your physical health.
• You have an almost obsessive need to have control over even the smallest details in your life. So, you sublimate this energy into becoming a successful business owner and leader.

Research on Sublimation

Much of the research on sublimination is analytical, discussing how sublimination may exist in certain situations. For instance, in one article, the authors talk about how people just sentenced to life in prison for murder likely use sublimation to ‘defend against’ their new reality. Another article contends that religious experiences serve as sublimation in their role as selfobjects.

A 2013 study involved actual subjects. In it, researchers looked at whether Protestants were more likely to sublimate taboo feelings into creative endeavors. They found that individuals who experienced sexual problems related to anxieties over taboo desires were more likely to have greater creative accomplishments than those reporting no sexual problems or those with sexual problems unrelated to taboo feelings.

The researchers suggested that this study represented “possibly the first experimental evidence for sublimation.” They further proposed that their findings indicate a cultural psychological approach to our defense mechanisms.

Effectiveness of Sublimation

How effective is sublimation for channeling our inappropriate urges into more acceptable, and possibly even productive actions? To answer this question, some have compared it with other defense mechanisms to see how it stacks up.

A 2020 study looked at students under high stress during COVID-19 due to preparing for school entrance exams, looking for work, etc. In this case, sublimation was compared to regression. It was noted that while regression was effective for one in five students, sublimation enabled roughly one-half of the subjects to channel their stress constructively, leading to positive results.

Others stress that sublimation is a critical part of art therapy. In a chapter in Art Therapies in Psychiatric Rehabilitation, the author states that sublimation serves two purposes in this context. One is that it helps the patient transform themself through the therapeutic process. The second is that art is created which symbolizes the sublimation that exists.

How Sublimation Can Influence Your Life

So, what role might the process of sublimation have in your life? As Freud suggested, sublimation is usually considered a healthy and mature way of dealing with urges that may be undesirable or unacceptable.

Rather than act out in ways that could cause us or others harm, sublimation allows us to channel that energy into things that are beneficial. Thus, this defense mechanism can actually end up having a positive effect on your health and wellness.

While we sometimes might be able to see how our negative feelings can drive us to act in certain ways, we are often very much unaware of such things since sublimation operates at a subconscious level. There also may not be a direct correlation between the cause of the negative emotion and the behavior that results from sublimation.

While earlier examples showed anger being sublimated into physical action, such feelings can result in a variety of behaviors. For example, instead of angrily cleaning the house, experiencing this emotion could also lead a person to engage in a relaxing hobby such as fishing or painting.

The time you take your vitamins can sometimes determine their efficacy. While some vitamins are absorbed best when you take them first thing in the morning with water, others are absorbed or work better when you take them with a meal or just before bedtime.

Taking vitamins and multivitamins can be a great habit to develop at any age. A wealth of research shows that nutritional deficiencies can contribute to not just medical but mental health conditions. Vitamin and multivitamin supplements can improve your general health and well-being and help prevent nutritional deficiencies, which can affect your mental health.

So while that taking vitamins and multivitamins can benefit your health, you may not know when to take them to get the best out of their potential benefits. This article discusses the benefits of taking some of the most common vitamins and the ideal time to take them. 

Multivitamins

Multivitamins contain both fat- and water-soluble vitamins. Multivitamins contain an array of vitamins hence the name.

One study noted that in the United States, between 40% and 50% of men and women over 50 take multivitamins. However, the study concluded that contrary to common belief, there might not be many benefits in taking multivitamins for the general population.

However, the same review noted that in specific cases, vitamins and supplements are clearly beneficial, such as the prenatal use of iron and folate.

B Vitamins 

B vitamins include a range of vitamins with numbers from B1 to B12. B vitamins are essential for the optimal functioning of many processes in your body. They help your body to form healthy red blood cells and get energy from the food you eat. Certain B vitamin deficiencies have also been linked to poor mental health.

Vitamin C

Vitamin C, aka ascorbic acid, is a water-soluble vitamin. Vitamin C is essential for the repair of your tissues, skin, and bones. Vitamin C also helps your body absorb iron. Additionally, taking vitamin C can also help your body heal wounds more effectively.

Also, there’s some research to suggest a link between vitamin C and your mood and that antioxidants in vitamin C may be able to adjunctively reduce and prevent anxiety.

Vitamin D

Vitamin D, affectionately known as the “sunshine” vitamin because the sun is a major source of vitamin D, is necessary for several bodily functions.

Often, a vitamin D supplement is necessary for those who live in regions with very little sunlight or people with darker skin complexions. Melanin is a pigment in the skin and hair responsible for dark skin tones and hair. For people with higher amounts of melanin in the skin, it becomes more difficult for the body to synthesize vitamin D in the skin.

Aside from impacting your physical functioning, vitamin D sufficiency has been associated with aspects of your mental health. Scientists have observed that in colder climates, people who don’t get sufficient sun exposure are more prone to depression.

Aside from sunlight, other vitamin D sources include:

• Fish
• Mushrooms
• Orange juice
• Chocolate
• Eggs
• Cheese

Vitamin A

Vitamin A is one of the vitamins and micronutrients your body cannot produce. This means you must get it via food or supplements.

Vitamin A is vital for many processes in your body, including maintaining the health of your skin, eyes, and gut lining.

There are two forms of vitamin A form we consume through our diet and supplements, preformed vitamin A and provitamin A. Some research shows that including carotenoids in your diet, which are converted to vitamin A in your body may reduce your risk of developing depressive symptoms.

Vitamin E

Vitamin E, an antioxidant that aids in protecting your body’s cell membranes, can only be obtained from the foods you eat.

For example, you can add vitamin E to your diet via supplements or foods such as:

• Vegetable oils
• Sunflower seeds
• Peanut butter
• Spinach

Some research shows that low levels of vitamin E have been linked to depression and anxiety. While it’s unclear whether supplementation can help with managing symptoms of depression and anxiety, scientists are encouraging further research into the possibility.

Prenatal Vitamins 

These vitamins are designed for people who are pregnant or may become pregnant. Some of the most crucial vitamins for pregnant people are folic acid, calcium, vitamin D, iron, and vitamin A. Prenatal vitamins include a cocktail of vitamins necessary for you and your child’s well-being before, during, and after pregnancy.

Research shows that prenatal vitamins play a vital role in aiding the proper brain development of your child and reducing their risk of developing mental disorders.

Are All Vitamin Supplements Good for You?

There are a number of people who rely on vitamin supplements to fulfill their daily nutritional requirements. While taking the recommended doses of vitamin supplements can be helpful, taking high doses is not only ineffective but can be harmful to your health.

What About Chewable or Gummy Vitamins?

Chewable or gummy vitamins are an ideal option for people who either don’t like to swallow pills or don’t like the taste of vitamin supplements.

In a 2020 study, researchers compared the efficacy of vitamin C gummy sources with tablet sources. They found that there was no significant difference in the rate at which the body absorbed both forms, as such they are similarly effective.

Researchers also caution parents against using chewable or gummy vitamins to replace nutritional vitamin sources for their children, as a result of their appeal.

In one study, they observed a wide variation in the dosage of these types of vitamins depending on the supplement, which can be problematic. Many of these supplements also contain a higher dose of vitamins than the daily nutritional requirements for children. While taking your vitamins is beneficial, consuming it in excess could result in adverse effects.

How Can I Get My Child or Loved One to Take Their Vitamin Supplements?

It’s common for some people to have an aversion to vitamins. Some people may simply not enjoy the taste, and others could just be stubborn or forgetful.

It can be difficult to get your child to take their vitamins, so here are some ways you can help them do so:

• Mix it in with food: Some children are averse to taking vitamins because of the way they taste. Mixing in their vitamins with food is a great way to mask the taste. Foods like yogurt and pudding are great options.
• Help them understand: Children are capable of understanding a lot more than they are given credit for. If your child is resisting taking their vitamins, it might be helpful to sit them down and explain all the ways vitamins benefit their well-being.
• Make it fun: Your child is more likely to push back on taking their vitamins if they see it as a chore. Make the process fun by making a game out of it or taking it with them. You can also put in place a reward system, where your child gets to do something fun after taking their vitamins.

If you have a loved one or a partner(s) who does not take or forgets to take their supplements, here’s how you can help them:

• Help them make a schedule: For many adults don’t take their vitamins simply because they don’t remember to. Creating a schedule makes it easier to remember the exact days and times to take their vitamins.
• Explore different vitamin forms: If your partner is avoiding their vitamins because they don’t like swallowing pills, it can be useful to explore other forms of vitamins such as gummies or powders.
• Get organizational tools: It can be overwhelming going through numerous bottles when one wants to take vitamins. Organizational tools like pill boxes are labeled and split into sections that make it easy for your partner to identify their daily vitamins. They are also portable, making it easy to carry them around all through the day.