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Some people with ADHD struggle to focus (inattentive type), while others have a hard time staying still (hyperactive/impulsive type). For some people, it’s both.

Combined type ADHD is a presentation of attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder characterized by symptoms of both inattention and hyperactivity-impulsivity. To be diagnosed with this type, a person must have six inattention and six hyperactivity-impulsivity symptoms.

Of the three presentations of ADHD, the combined type is the most common. According to some research, approximately 70% of adults with ADHD have the combined type.

Let’s take a closer look at how combined type ADHD is diagnosed and why getting an accurate diagnosis is beneficial. We’ll also explore some treatment options to help people manage inattentive, hyperactive, and impulsive traits.

The 3 Types of ADHD

There are three forms of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). These are:

• Predominantly inattentive ADHD is characterized by problems regulating attention.
• Predominantly hyperactive/impulsive ADHD is characterized by impulsive and hyperactive behavior.
• Combined type ADHD is where both inattention and hyperactivity/impulsivity are present.

These different forms of ADHD used to be called ADHD subtypes. Then, when the fifth edition of the “Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders” (DSM-5) was published in 2013, the term “subtype” was changed to “presentation.” For example, a person could be diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, combined presentation.

How Combined Type ADHD Is Diagnosed

All ADHD types are diagnosed in the same way. An experienced healthcare professional performs a detailed evaluation. This clinician gathers information from various sources, including an interview with you (or your child), your medical history, your family medical history, and your school experiences.

The assessment might also include intellectual screening, memory testing, attention and distraction tests, and an interview with your spouse. If a child is being assessed, the child’s parent will most likely be interviewed.

At the end of the evaluation, the clinician will determine if the criteria for ADHD outlined in the DSM-5 have been met. If they have, then a diagnosis of ADHD can be made. You or your child will be diagnosed with an ADHD presentation. This will be either inattentive, hyperactive-impulsive, or combined ADHD.

Following is an adapted version of the 18 symptoms listed in the DSM-5.

Inattentive Symptoms

• Often makes mistakes that appear careless, either at school or work. These mistakes occur because of problems paying attention to details
• Has difficulty maintaining attention on school, work, reading, or fun activities
• Does not appear to listen during conversations, even one on one. Seems internally distracted, for example thinking about other things
• Following through on instructions is challenging. Finishing a task or homework from beginning to end is rare due to getting sidetracked or losing focus
• Tasks are avoided that involve mental effort for long periods of time like schoolwork, work projects, or forms
• Frequently loses items, for example, textbooks, wallet, keys, glasses, and cell phones
• Can be easily distracted by external events
• Is forgetful while doing everyday activities like chores and errands

Hyperactive-Impulsive Symptoms 

• Being physically still is challenging. Will move feet and hands and squirm
• Staying seated is hard. Will often get up and move around, even in situations where sitting down is socially expected, like a classroom or work environment
• Will run or climb at unsuitable times. Teenagers and adults might look physically still but experience internal restlessness
• Rarely participates in hobbies or play activities quietly
• Has lots of energy and is frequently described as “always on the go” or “driven by a motor”
• Talks continually and might be known as a “chatterbox.” This can result in problems at school and work
• Will answer questions before they have been fully asked. Interrupt others while they are talking
• Waiting for a turn is difficult, whether at play, in a line, or during a conversation
• Intrudes on other people’s activities and conversations

Why Getting a Combined Type ADHD Diagnosis Matters

As with many topics, knowledge is power. The more you know about your neurotype and your presentation of ADHD, the more empowered you feel. This, in turn, means you can get the right treatment, accommodations, and support that can help you manage your ADHD characteristics.

Knowing what ADHD presentation you have means you can distinguish between what is an ADHD symptom and what is part of your unique personality. Sometimes, people struggle for years with an aspect of ADHD they think is just part of who they are, only to find later that it is related to ADHD and that treatment is available to help.

In addition to the practical benefits, there are psychological benefits to knowing how ADHD affects you. There is a lot of moral judgment around behaviors that result from having ADHD. For example, being unable to sit still in a meeting might be “disrespectful.”

Understanding the subtleties of your ADHD type helps you to separate yourself from these negative comments and the shame and guilt that comes with them. This frees you to find a proactive solution instead.

What It Means to Have Combined Type ADHD

Having combined type ADHD does not automatically mean your ADHD is more severe compared to someone who is diagnosed with the predominantly hyperactive type or predominantly inattentive type.

For example, a person who has predominantly hyperactive-impulsive type might still experience some symptoms from the inattentive symptom list. However, they would not have the full five or six symptoms to be given a combined ADHD diagnosis. Being diagnosed with combined type ADHD means your symptoms are more likely to be evenly distributed between the two types.

How Combined Type ADHD Progresses Over Time

When the DSM-5 was published, it replaced the term ADHD subtypes with ADHD presentations. This change reflected the new understanding researchers have of ADHD. Rather than being a fixed and stagnant condition that could be neatly divided into subtypes, we now know that a person’s ADHD presentation and severity are more fluid and can change with age and the setting.

People diagnosed with hyperactivity will develop sufficient symptoms related to attention regulation in three to five years. These new symptoms will be strong enough that these people will meet the requirements to be diagnosed with ADHD combined presentation.

For example, a person who experienced hyperactivity as a child and found it hard to sit still might be able to sit still when required as an adult but will feel internal restlessness and discomfort.

Treatments and Support for Combined Type ADHD

If you or your child have combined ADHD, it is important to address both the inattentive and the hyperactive and impulsive symptoms.

ADHD is a form of neurodivergence, which involves a difference in how a person’s brain processes and interprets information. It does not need to be cured, but there are strategies that people can use to help them manage different characteristics of their ADHD.

As with all types of ADHD, the most effective treatment plan for combined ADHD is usually medication plus behavioral treatments like therapy, accommodations, social skills, and lifestyle changes.

Instead, finding the right medication and dose is something that your doctor will be able to help with. You might try several ADHD medications until you find one that helps your ADHD symptoms and has minimal side effects.

You’re the first to text or make plans. Ask how they are or what’s going on in their life. Be there for them. All. The. Time. And, where are they? Nowhere to be found. After a while, you begin wondering if you want to be friends at all.

If you’re the one who’s always giving but never receiving, you might be in a one-sided friendship. It can be hard to see the signs—especially if you’re in the throes of it—but there are ways to 1) recognize this friendship dynamic and 2) stop it from happening. Keep reading to learn more about one-sided friendships, what causes them, and what steps you can take to fix (or sometimes end) the friendship.

Signs of a One-Sided Friendship

One-sided relationships are sometimes easy to spot. But sometimes you might not realize you’re in the midst of one until time has passed.

The first sign of a one-sided friendship is the lack of reciprocity in communication. You’re always the one reaching out first. Other signs you may notice include:

• You feel like you’re always giving but never receiving
• You’re always there for them, but they are absent whenever you need help or support
• They only reach out to you when they need something, whether it’s your time, support, or resources
• You’re the one who initiates all of your conversations
• You always make all of the plans to do things together

According to Seth Eisenberg, a relationship skills coach, one-way relationships are often characterized by a lack of reciprocity and one-way communication. This dynamic can leave you feeling emotionally drained. Rather than feeling uplifted by your friendship, you feel exhausted because you’re always the one giving and never receiving.

If you suspect the friendship might be one-sided, start analyzing your interactions and asking yourself a few questions. Is there a noticeable imbalance in the emotional support you are giving versus receiving? Are you the one who is always listening, helping, and comforting, while they rarely reciprocate?

Another way to assess your friendship is by paying attention to their responses to your problems or accomplishments. In a healthy, balanced friendship, they’ll react enthusiastically and be eager to celebrate your achievements. However, in one-sided friendships, responses will likely involve indifference or jealousy.

“Conversations revolve around your friend’s life, problems, and achievements, with little interest shown in your experiences or feelings,” Eisenberg notes. This type of toxic friendship can hurt your self-esteem and self-worth.

Effects of a One-Sided Friendship

Quality friendships are important for well-being. One-sided friendships, on the other hand, can leave you feeling lonely—which can take a heavy toll on your emotional and mental health. The constant giving without getting anything back in return can drain your energy and make you feel like you don’t have the support you need and crave.

Isolation and Self-Worth Problems

We are naturally social creatures, so social support is vital for our mental well-being. When you don’t have connections—despite your best efforts—you feel isolated, anxious, and sad. You’re questioning why the other person isn’t as committed to the friendship as you are. It can hurt your self-worth and make you wonder why your efforts aren’t being reciprocated.

It May Affect Your Other Relationships

One-sided relationships also pose a risk to your other relationships. If you are emotionally invested in a friend who doesn’t return your efforts, you have less time and energy available for those who do care and support you.

It Can Stifle Personal Growth

Quality friendships can help you grow as a person. In a one-sided friendship, the other person reap all the benefits while you get little or nothing in return. You’re stuck in a cycle where you become the support system for someone else’s growth, but you don’t receive the same opportunities to fulfill your potential.

It Can Hurt Future Relationships

The psychological harm caused by a one-sided friendship can last long after you’ve moved past it, leaving you feeling cynical and skeptical about relationships in general. You may be wary of making new friends and begin creating emotional walls to keep people from hurting you.

This fear can hold you back from forming more healthy, authentic, and mutual friendships. All of which makes it harder to meet new people who might just make wonderful, supportive friends.

Understanding the Dynamics

Why do one-sided friendships happen? Understanding how these relationships form will help you recognize your current situation and help you avoid similar patterns in the future.

Early Attachment Patterns

“From an attachment-based lens, one-sided friendships often occur because of our early relationship experiences,” says Cheryl Groskopf, LMFT, LPCC, an anxiety, trauma, and attachment therapist based in Los Angeles. “If someone grew up feeling they had to earn love or attention, they might overextend themselves in friendships, always giving but never asking for anything in return. This pattern can make them prone to one-sided relationships.”

On the flip side, some people become used to being taken care of without needing to reciprocate, she says. In such cases, they naturally fall into the role of being the receiver in the friendship. “These dynamics create an imbalance where one person feels like they’re constantly putting in the effort while the other just coasts along,” Groskopf adds.

Imbalanced Emotional Labor

Emotional labor refers to mental activity required to manage tasks and maintain relationships. This type of labor includes things like listening to the other person, offering support, planning activities, and working out details to help keep the relationship going.

When the other person doesn’t put in this emotional labor, you are left carrying this mental load on your own. Over time, this imbalance can create feelings of exhaustion and resentment. 

Power Imbalances

If your friend has assumed a dominant role in the relationship, you believe (often subconsciously) you have to bear the burden of carrying the friendship. Being a people-pleaser can complicate this further. Because you want to win their approval and avoid conflict, you may do things to help keep things running smoothly. 

Poor Reciprocity

The principle of reciprocity is important in all types of relationships. While friendships shouldn’t be purely transactional, a solid friendship is rooted in the idea that you will be there for each other. In a healthy friendship, there will be a mutual exchange of kindness, support, favors, and effort. If you are in a one-sided friendship, you probably feel like all you do is give, give, give.  

How to Address a One-Sided Friendship

Being in a one-sided friendship can hurt, and you might be tempted to just walk away. However, there are things you can do to salvage the friendship and steer it toward a healthier balance. Some things you can do to address this type of friendship include the following:

Acknowledge the Problem

The first step is to acknowledge the situation. It’s easy to fall into a pattern and let things just continue as they are. Especially if you’re afraid of rocking the boat. But acknowledging the reality is essential.

Remember, you’re not being overly sensitive or petty. Don’t gaslight yourself into thinking that the problem isn’t real. If you feel constantly undervalued and drained by the friendship, those feelings are valid.

Consider the Dynamic

Once you’ve acknowledged the problem, examine the situation and think about the dynamics playing a role. Do you think your friend is aware of the imbalance? Are they behaving this way intentionally or unintentionally? 

Groskopf says an important first step is to consider the friendship dynamic. “Think about how you and your friend handle relationships,” she suggests. “If you often give too much because you worry about being liked (a classic people-pleasing trait tied to anxious attachment), try to step back a bit. Let your friend know that it’s important for both of you to keep the friendship healthy.”

Have a Conversation

If your friend seems unaware of the problem, it’s worth communicating your feelings to them. The goal isn’t to point fingers or lay blame. Instead, approach this conversation with empathy and assertiveness. Focus on what you are feeling instead of their actions (or lack of actions). 

This conversation can be difficult, but clearly explain how you feel and what steps they can take to help improve the situation. Use “I feel” statements to avoid sounding accusatory and reduce defensiveness.

Request Specific Support

Groskopf also recommends being direct and specific about the type of support you need. “Sometimes friends don’t know what you need unless you tell them,” she explains. “Ask for specific help or support. For instance, ‘Can you check in with me this week? I’ve had a rough time and could use some encouragement.’”

Be Ready to Take Further Steps

Groskopf says assessing and adjusting is essential. “Regularly evaluate the friendship’s balance,” she advises.

If the imbalance continues, Eisenberg suggests it may be time to reconsider your friendship. “Think about the overall value of the friendship,” he recommends. “Does it still bring you joy and fulfillment? If not, it might be time to step back.”

You deserve supportive people who are happy to be there when you need them. And if your friend isn’t giving you that—especially if you’ve asked for it repeatedly—it may be time to cut things off. It’s not easy, of course. Ending a friendship never is. But taking care of yourself means letting some friendships go. This doesn’t mean you’ve failed–it’s a sign of growth and self-respect.

Tips for Ending a One-Sided Friendship

Not all friendships are made to last. Sometimes, a friendship breakup is the best thing for your well-being.

So, what can you do to let go of a one-sided friendship? In many cases, you may simply let the relationship run its natural course once you stop putting in all the effort. Gradually reducing your social interaction and letting the friendship slowly fade is a good option if you don’t want to confront the other person or if you think they might respond in hurtful ways.

Set Boundaries

Once you’ve decided to let go of the relationship, have one more conversation with your friend to explain your boundaries. Let them know they are important to you, but you can’t continue doing all the work. If things are going to continue, they need to make the investment and put forth the effort.

Stop Making Contact

Once you’ve decided to end the friendship, stop reaching out. Don’t text or call. You might miss them and think of them but stick to your resolve.

If the other person reaches out, be willing to hear them out and give them another chance. Maintain boundaries to protect yourself from being taken advantage of again.

Focus on Other Friendships

Even when it is your decision, terminating a friendship is never easy. It’s normal to feel angry, sad, or a range of emotions.

One coping mechanism is dedicating time to your other friendships. They can provide support, reinforce your self-worth, and demonstrate the characteristics of healthy, supportive relationships.

Cultivating Healthy and Balanced Friendships

Great friendships take time and effort. If you want these connections to be strong, give them the time, patience, and attention they need to thrive. But both parties need to be invested in growing and maintaining this link.

What can you do to help build healthier, more balanced friendships in the future?

Remember, It’s About Give and Take

The relationship isn’t going to be 50/50 all of the time. There will be times when you’re giving more, but the same goes for your friend too. It’s OK to go with the ebb-and-flow of the friendship as long as the balance stays fairly equal over time. When you can strike this equilibrium, there’s a better chance that you’ll each feel seen, heard, and valued. 

Talk About Your Friendship

Open communication is also key. If the friendship is becoming unbalanced or if you feel like it’s heading into rocky ground, don’t be afraid to talk about it. Sure, these conversations aren’t the most comforting, but talking openly can help foster greater closeness and authenticity. 

As the friendship grows, remind yourself that you can’t pour from an empty cup. That means making sure you are taking care of yourself. Take the time to do the things you need to stay well, whether that means spending time with other friends, focusing on your interests, or even spending some time alone. Friendships are more likely to feel balanced when each person is at their best.

Narcissistic abuse can involve behaviors such as emotional abuse, gaslighting, manipulation, lying, lack of empathy, and overstepping boundaries. The goal of this abuse is to maintain control.

Healing after you have experienced narcissistic abuse can bring challenges, particularly if you’re sense of self has been damaged by the experience. Fortunately, there are steps you can take to help support your recovery from this type of abuse.

Recovering From Narcissistic Abuse

If you have recently gotten out of a relationship with someone who exhibited narcissistic behavior, it can be hard to know how exactly to move forward in your healing process.

To get some help, Verywell Mind spoke with Mike Dow, PsyD, PhD, a psychotherapist with extensive experience in helping people who have experienced emotional abuse in relationships.

“One of the biggest misconceptions is that all narcissists exhibit a very easy-to-spot grandiosity,” explains Dow. “While many do, there are also those who can appear shy or quiet on the outside, but secretly harbor grandiose plans, negative views of others, and a fragile ego on the inside.”

How to Identify Narcissistic Behavior

Dow explains that narcissists are good at seeking out warm, sensitive people that they feel they can manipulate. If you think that the person you’re with could be a narcissist, Dow says it’s important to ask yourself these questions:

While Dow explains that most narcissists are younger men, he notes that this isn’t always the case. That said, he says there are qualities to look out for.

If you’re wondering if someone you’re interested in is a narcissist, look at their other relationships. If they have a consistent pattern of relationships that were purely transactional or self-serving, that’s a definite sign of narcissism.

“We all want to get our needs met, and that’s healthy,” says Dow. “The difference is that narcissists will throw others under the bus with no guilt if it means their needs are being met.”

Dow says that another way to recognize a narcissist is to notice if they’re constantly looking for praise. He urges his clients to remember that “confidence is quiet while insecurity is loud.”

What Narcissistic Abuse Looks Like in a Relationship

Although narcissistic abuse is not a formally recognized diagnosis, it is often used to describe a syndrome where being in a relationship to a narcissistic partner can adversely affect one’s emotional health. To begin the healing process, first, you have to identify the instances of abuse. This can be harder than it sounds.

Dow says that one of the most damaging aspects of narcissistic relationships is that the narcissistic partner can quickly vacillate between supportive and kind to cruel and manipulative.

Additionally, Dow notes that narcissists need to be in control. They know how to pull you back in after they’ve pushed you too far.

Their goal is to preserve their ego, which can be quite fragile, and these preservation attempts can be both conscious and subconscious.

Ending a Relationship With a Narcissist

If you’re ready to end your relationship. Dow specifies that you should be very clear on why you’re ending the relationship and that you should be prepared for the narcissist to be defensive.

He recommends that the person leaving the relationship go into the conversation with clear talking points about why they’re leaving.

Tips for Healing From Narcissistic Abuse

Dow explains that the primary goal for a person who is healing from narcissistic abuse is often learning to trust themselves again after years of experiencing gaslighting in the relationship. To slowly work back toward learning to trust yourself again, keep these things in mind:

Set Boundaries

After ending the relationship, Dow advises his clients to unfollow or block them on social media, and to be willing to block their phone or emails.

Trust Your Gut

It’s vital that you listen to your own intuition, especially since narcissists have a tendency to attack that in others. “In subtle or overt ways, the narcissist has frequently communicated: ‘What’s wrong with YOU? You’re crazy,'” explains Dow.

Join a Recovery Program

Dow says that relationships with narcissists can commonly trigger co-dependency in their partners. “Co-Dependents Anonymous can sometimes be part of the healing journey,” says Dow. “Especially for people who were previously codependent in other relationships.”

Reach Out to Family and Friends

Make sure that you are surrounding yourself with the loved ones and hobbies that support you and your mental health. Dow explains that one common method of manipulation for narcissists is alienating their partners from their support systems.

Dow calls these support systems “cubby holes,” and advises his clients to work to fill them back up. “Narcissistic abuse typically means you’ve emptied out these cubby holes,” he says. “It’s all about putting yourself together again by returning to your old priorities.”

Growing up with a sibling who had complex needs such as chronic illness or disabilities probably meant you often felt “invisible” to your parents. You knew your siblings needed more help than you, so you learned to take care of yourself at an early age. 

You’re self-sufficient, responsible, and helpful. But you may also struggle with mental health challenges like perfectionism or people-pleasing and find it difficult to set boundaries. If this sounds familiar, you may have grown up as a glass child.

What Is a “Glass Child”?

“Glass child” is not a medical condition or mental health diagnosis, but a colloquial term used to describe certain challenges and strengths experienced by a child who grew up with a high-needs sibling. 

“Glass children learn early on in their lives to meet their own needs and express very little,” she says. “They come across as highly mature and even-tempered. This can be a strength as grown-ups in their life tend to feel positive about their presentation. Unfortunately, this strength is also a vulnerability to the child as it makes it hard for them to reach out when they do need support.”

Emotions Experiences of Being a Glass Child

Angela Pei Wu, LMFT, a life empowerment coach, explains that a child with complex needs has the most power in the family system because they require extra attention and care. “Family members will often adjust and accommodate their own schedules, habits, needs, and way of being for the intensive needs child,” she says.

Resentment and Guilt

An intensive needs child can bring a lot of love and support. However, it is natural for parents or main caregivers to feel burnt out and tired, especially when they neglect their own needs. Or the needs of their other children.

Wu adds that parents are so focused on their complex needs child that they may often forget that their other children also have needs as well. Because of this, some siblings may feel jealous or resentful.

Glass children “may even feel guilty for having negative feelings towards their siblings,” Wu says. “Others may try to make themselves as perfect as possible and not ‘rock the boat.'”

Impact on Mental Health

“Adults who grew up as glass children may have perfectionistic tendencies,” says Wu. Perfectionism is associated with anxiety disorders, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and eating disorders. Glass children may also struggle with setting boundaries, which can negatively impact their relationships and increase their stress levels. 

The Role of Culture

Wu adds that culture also plays an important component in family relationships. For instance, “in Asian cultures, sibling gender and order informs their family roles. First-born sons and daughters may feel the additional burdens of taking care of their families,” Wu says.

“Traditional gender roles may cause eldest daughters to be their family’s caretakers,” she says. “As [intensive] needs is a taboo topic in Asian culture, families may feel the need to “save face” or hide the [complex] needs child due to shame. This causes families to be less likely to ask for support, putting an additional burden on the family system.”

Coping Strategies for Glass Children

There are several ways to cope if you identify as a glass child. When a child has buried their needs on behalf of the family, it’s important they learn how to openly express themselves, says Harwood. This can be a challenge for a glass child who has coped primarily through shrinking and minimizing their feelings and needs. 

Learn To Express Their Needs

Harwood suggests glass children use creative hand signals to help them communicate their needs. Or, write their feelings in a journal. “We want them to learn to take up space and reach for us even when their needs feel small in comparison with a higher needs sibling,” says Harwood.

Identify and Recognize Unhealthy Patterns 

For those who grew up as glass children, it’s crucial to recognize unhealthy behaviors such as perfectionism and people-pleasing.

Some patterns include:

• Feeling the need to put themselves last
• Feeling responsible for things out of their control
• Having poor boundaries
• Overworking
• Being overly critical of themselves

“Once these behaviors and patterns that are not beneficial are identified, glass children can work toward setting boundaries, identifying and honoring their needs, developing self-affirming language, and releasing themselves from things outside of their control,” Wu says.

Parenting a Glass Child

If you are a parent of a glass child, you may be worried that you are causing these negative experiences. It’s important to recognize the needs and emotions of glass children and create a supportive and inclusive environment that provides attention, care, and resources for each child.

Recognizing Needs

Harwood says the first step to recognizing the needs of a glass child is to take the time to check in with them. Ask about their feelings and emotions and listen with presence and attention when they respond. This helps them learn that they and their needs are valid and important.

Pay Attention To Subtle Cues

Harwood emphasizes the need for parents to pay attention to the subtle emotional cues of their glass child. Glass children may not express needs in overt ways, but there are small signs that indicate emotional distress. For example, notice when they quietly leave a room or turn their faces away or down during a tense moment. 

“The more we attune to [a glass child’s] emotional state, the more likely it will be that we start to understand what they need,” Harwood says.

Support Groups

Harwood also suggests finding support groups for children with high-needs siblings. These support systems can become safe, understanding, and compassionate spaces for glass children to express their feelings and relate to one another.

Sibling Relationships and Glass Children

Wu adds that the experience of having a sibling with intensive needs can cause a myriad of emotions towards their sibling “such as love, joy, worry, fear, guilt, and maybe even resentment.”

Parentification

Glass children can often feel the responsibility for their complex needs sibling, which can lead to them being very mature, responsible, and even parentified.

Wu defines parentification as a child taking on parental duties for their siblings or parents. “Parentification develops when children perceive their parents as too overwhelmed or incapable of fulfilling their parental duties. When this happens, parentified children become ‘little adults‘ to help alleviate the family burden,” she says.

In a case where a family has a high-needs child, parents may unintentionally cause parentification by reinforcing the child’s caregiving qualities, Wu says.

“Glass children learn that to be ‘good’ is to put their siblings before themselves,” Wu says, minimizing their own needs, which can build resentment towards siblings and parents. “These caretaking siblings develop people-pleasing tendencies which may affect them into adulthood,” she adds.

Resources and Support for Glass Children and Families

Harwood says glass children need attuned and connected parents who remember to prioritize their needs, despite the high needs of another child. “The best resource for a glass child is a secure attachment with at least one of their parents,” she adds.

Recommended Books

Harwood recommends the following books for glass children and their parents:

• For parents and older glass children: ”Living with a Brother or Sister with Special Needs: A Book for Sibs“ by Donald Meyer and Patricia F. Vadasy
• For teen glass children: ”The Sibling Survival Guide: Indispensable Information for Brothers and Sisters of Adults With Disabilities“ by Don Meyer 
• For younger children: “I am Just as Special: How to be a Sibling of a Special Needs Child” by Lena Hanna

Rage rooms, also known as anger rooms or smash rooms, are spaces where people can vent their frustration by breaking or smashing objects. The idea behind this is that people can express their anger in a safe and controlled environment, which is thought to reduce or defuse pent-up emotions and relieve stress.

These anger rooms have become popular as recreational therapy or self-therapy in recent years. It seems like an appealing outlet for frustration where you can smash, crash, break things free of consequences—or so it seems. 

Mental health research suggests that while these rooms keep people safe while they vent their rage, the act of venting your anger in this way has more serious consequences. Venting anger doesn’t actually result in catharsis or relief—instead, it typically reinforces and even worsens anger.

How Do Rage Rooms Work?

Rage rooms are set up with breakable items for patrons to smash for a few minutes at a time. In an anger room, you have the opportunity to destroy something without having to feel bad about it or even clean up afterward.

So, what’s the idea behind this activity? What does it have to do with stress management?

Anger rooms are based on the catharsis theory of aggression. This theory suggests that if people are able to vent their frustration and anger, this anger will decrease.

Blowing off steam makes many people feel better at the moment, but are these rooms healthy stress management strategies or effective for anger management in the long run? How do they compare to simply hitting a pillow or going to the gym to blow off steam?

In one study, researchers created a virtual “smash room” that allowed cancer patients to smash and break objects using a VR device. Reviews of the activity were mixed.

While some felt it was enjoyable, others reported disliking expressing emotions in such a public, visible way. One participant suggested that mending or organizing objects would have been more enjoyable than breaking them. 

Such findings suggest that more research is needed to understand how anger rooms might affect people.

What Rage Rooms Are *Really* Accomplishing

The idea behind them has been around for quite a while—after all, most of us have been angry enough to break something at least once in a while.

While there’s not a lot of data about rage rooms, researchers have looked at what happens when people act out on feelings of aggression, frustration, and anger.

They May Provide a Short-Term Outlet for Anger

Anger rooms might provide some temporary relief from strong emotions. When you’re angry and frustrated, finding an outlet to release some of your tension can feel good.

When you combine this with anger rooms being very physical (with all that swinging bats, smashing glass, and throwing objects against the wall), you might walk away feeling a temporary sense of release.

It Fosters an Unhealthy Expression of Anger

While venting anger is often seen as a way to effectively relief feelings of frustration and stress, research has actually found that blowing off steam through physical acts of aggression and violence makes your anger worse.

Studies have found that physical outbursts of aggression teach your body to respond to feelings of stress, anger, and frustration with violence.

Anger Rooms Probably Lead to More Anger

We can’t say for sure what the effects of visiting one of these rage rooms might be—there’s just no research or statistics assessing their short- or long-term effects.

The available research does suggest that acting aggressively does lead to more aggressive behavior in the future. One study found that people who acted aggressively after they were provoked did sometimes feel better immediately after.

Unfortunately, this relief was short-lived. People who felt better after they acted aggressively were then more likely to respond with aggression the next time they felt angry.

Healthier Alternatives to Rage Rooms

In addition to evaluating the source of frustration, research has also found that some other forms of stress management may be more effective than taking our aggression on inanimate objects.

Other cognitive-behavioral techniques have also been found to be helpful without the damaging side-effects of venting anger; these techniques include the following:

• Progressive muscle relaxation: Take some time to tense each muscle in your body and then consciously relax them to help calm and soothe yourself physically.
• Cognitive restructuring: This means shifting your perspective to a less angry one by thinking of things differently.
• Social skills training or assertiveness training: This form of behavior therapy teaches you to relate to others in a healthier way so you can avoid becoming as angry and stressed.
• Problem-solving: Not all problems can be easily fixed, but many can. Becoming more proactive when possible can help minimize stressors in your life.
• Exposure to the stressor: This is recommended for many issues including anxiety, and involves facing something that causes you to stress, in small but increasing doses until you feel less stressed and more able to cope with the stressor.
• Education about anger and anger management: Learning more about anger and how to have a healthy relationship with your anger can minimize the need for a place to blow off steam and help you keep yourself from taking out your anger on others.
• Stress management: Being proactive with stress management can help you to build resilience so you don’t feel as stressed by new things that affect you in your life. There are many effective ways to manage stress!

Can Rage Rooms Have *Any* Benefits?

This begs the question—if venting our anger by breaking things helps many of us feel like we’ve decreased our anger, isn’t it a useful activity to try when we’re at our wit’s end?

Could it be a worthwhile activity for a Saturday night out with friends? Doesn’t this research miss that these rooms are all in good fun?

For many, there might be something beneficial to this activity after all. There is a reason these places are drawing crowds and increasing in popularity, and they do bring some benefits as well, especially if you already know the caveats.

The following are a few good reasons you may want to visit one of these places after all:

To Try Something New

If you’re curious about these places you may want to try them out to satisfy your curiosity! It can be an interesting form of exercise. It can give you a funny story to share with your friends. It can also be a fun activity to bring them along to, which leads to the next point.

For Bonding

If you’re going with a group of friends, it may be a bonding experience to break things together. If you go with your partner or a friend who is experiencing the same stress you are, this can also be a fun way to blow off steam and connect.

For Pure Fun

Studies also show that it’s important to have fun in your life to improve your mood, manage stress, and maintain balance. If it’s fun for you to go out and break things, this may still be a much healthier activity than sitting at home ruminating over what’s making you angry.

If it gets you into a better mood with a spirit of fun, you may want to go for it. (Again, just remember to create some other habits for yourself as well that can help you to manage stress and anger in your life.)

Although we can make life plans, things don’t always go the way we expect. Our relationship doesn’t last, our position at work is cut, or some other obstacle is unexpectedly placed in our way. When these unexpected situations add up, it’s easy to become anxious and feel as if life is out of control.

Learning why you may feel like your life is out of control helps you understand the underlying issues that may be causing these feelings. We also discuss several actions you can take if life feels a little haywire, helping you feel better about your circumstances—even if you can’t control them.

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Reasons Life Can Feel Out of Control

Feeling like life is out of control comes from the anxiety of not always having access to the driver’s seat of life. People have no idea when disaster may strike and for how long, so it produces fear that triggers other emotions like sadness, frustration, and anger.

That said, there are plenty of situations in which life may feel out of control. The following are a few to consider.

Excessive Stress

A lot of overwhelming feelings can be caused by stress coming in at every corner. A person can feel overloaded with the pressures of having to keep everything together for their family, job, finances, and more. It all starts to pile up, creating the feeling that you’re not in control of your life around you.

Health Concerns

People tend to worry about their physical and mental health, especially when they have a chronic health condition or are susceptible to illness. Add this to the chance of disease suddenly making an appearance and it’s no wonder a person may feel a loss of control over their health and wellness.

Relationship Issues

Whether you’re busy being a parent, spouse, friend, caretaker, or some other role, every relationship has something in common. Two people are involved. While you may have control over your own actions or feelings, you cannot control how another person acts or feels.

Additionally, if you find yourself in a toxic relationship (with a partner, friend, or even family member), this could cause you to feel like your life is spinning out of control. This feeling can be especially prominent when attempts to mend the relationship have failed.

Large-Scale Crises

Highly contagious viruses, natural disasters, and social injustices are all large-scale challenges. Since they affect so many people, it’s easy to feel a loss of control. Situations such as these can also produce feelings of defenselessness, anxiety, fear, and even anger.

Work Challenges

There are times when a person’s job consumes all of their time and seems as if it’s taking over their life. People can also become overwhelmed by what they need to get done inside and outside of the workplace, creating a sense that they have no control.

Personal Tragedy

Experiencing a tragic life event such as a death in the family, job loss, or being a victim of crime can produce a lot of overwhelming emotions. Since these kinds of situations are out of your control, you may feel helpless and lost.

What to Do When Life Feels Out of Control

When life starts to feel out of control, taking these actions can help.

Engage in Self-Care

It is perfectly okay to take some time for yourself. In fact, doing so offers many benefits. For instance, a study involving medical students found that when they engaged in self-care, they were better at managing stress and had an improved quality of life.

Effective self-care strategies include:

• Exercising regularly
• Eating healthy meals
• Getting adequate sleep
• Engaging in relaxing activities
• Practicing gratitude
• Staying positive
• Staying connected with family and friends

Change Your Perspective

Rather than viewing your life as out of control, it may help to develop an “it is what it is” perspective. This does not mean accepting poor treatment. Instead, it involves letting go of control and not fixating on achieving specific outcomes, which can life lead to greater life satisfaction.

Control Things You Can Change

Even though we may not have control of everything in our lives, we do still have control of some things. Work on changing the things in life that you do have control over, like going to the gym more often, eating fewer sweets, or removing a toxic person from your life.

Be Confident in Your Decisions

Life can feel out of control when you are constantly worrying and wondering if you are making the right choices. We tend to want to make sure we get it just right, almost perfect—but nothing will ever be perfect.

Take pride in what you created for your life and, if you made a few bad decisions, learn from them and move forward. Use your mistakes to foster personal growth and wisdom. Be appreciative of challenging situations that push you to keep going and bring you to better times.

Talk it Out

If you feel overwhelmed and stressed, it can be beneficial to talk about what may be making you feel this way. Whether you speak with a loved one or find a qualified therapist, it’s helpful to have someone with whom you can voice your concerns and worries. They can help you deconstruct your feelings and sort them out accordingly.

Pick Up a Hobby

Hobbies are a great way to take your mind off of things you can’t change. Whether you start going for a daily walk, get into woodworking, or begin keeping a journal, picking up a hobby may help you to feel a bit of an escape from life’s challenges.

Think Positively

Strive to think positively. Life won’t always feel this way. So, practice focusing on what is going well in your life and aim to be thankful for the things you do have.

It’s also important to remember that sometimes you have to take the bad with the good. Do your best to be appreciative of challenging situations in your life because they can be a catalyst for massive personal growth.

They are your whole world. You can’t get enough of them, and you want to be with them *all* of the time. It might feel like love, but could it actually be an addiction? While it might sound far-fetched, it really can happen! Like other types of addiction, being addicted to a person can be unhealthy or even dangerous. While it’s most common with significant others, it can happen with anyone in your life.

Yes, you really can be addicted to a person, or at least to the rush of neurochemicals you get whenever you are around them. But it’s important to distinguish between real love and addiction. Love is marked by healthy boundaries, mutual respect, and support, while addiction leads to problems like obsessive thinking, jealousy, and the loss of other relationships. This isn’t just unhealthy; it can be dangerous if the situation becomes abusive or unstable.

Is It Really Possible to be Addicted to Another Person?

In short, yes. It’s completely possible to be addicted to another human.

Addiction is a compulsion to do something that makes you feel a certain way—usually, something that floods your brain with happy chemicals, such as dopamine or oxytocin. By triggering the brain’s reward systems, being around that person generates feelings of euphoria and excitement—an experience your brain then urges you to keep seeking out.

Addiction specialists believe that addiction can occur with anything and that a person can subsequently suffer from an unhealthy addiction to anything or anyone. While we tend to think of addiction purely in terms of substances, it is also possible to get addicted to certain behaviors or experiences. Behavioral addictions compel people to keep engaging in actions, even when doing so leads to negative consequences.

The Differences Between Love and Addiction

Addiction to a person may feel like love to you, but it manifests in unhealthy ways. Let’s look at the differences between a loving relationship and an addictive one.

Characteristics of a Loving Relationship

• Healthy boundaries are easy to keep
• You feel free to talk about your feelings with them
• You both take alone time and encourage one another’s solo outings and activities
• You respect their privacy
• Your self-esteem does not depend on your partner’s thoughts of you
• No one in your life is concerned about your level of involvement with them

Characteristics of an Addictive Relationship

• You feel uncomfortable or like you can’t handle life when they aren’t there
• You think they are the only person you will ever love
• They are expected to fulfill all of your needs
• You feel jealous or upset if they do anything outside of the relationship
• Friends and loved ones from your life before this person are worried about you; you may be in less frequent contact with them, as well

Why You Might Become Addicted to a Person

Now that you understand how to differentiate between love and addiction, you’re probably wondering why addiction to another person might occur. Here are some of the top reasons.

You’re Seeking A High

New people can be very exciting, and interaction with someone can flood our brains with feel-good chemicals. If you meet someone and they make you feel like a better version of yourself, it can become addictive to want more of that feeling.

You’re Prone to Addiction

A person with an addictive personality is one who has challenges with moderation, which isn’t necessarily only in relation to drugs and alcohol. People prone to addiction may be more likely to exhibit mood swings, impulsivity, thrill-seeking behaviors, and low self-esteem.

For instance, a genetic background of family members who suffer from addiction may increase your risk of addiction. Additionally, environmental factors such as poverty play a contributing role. And lastly, mental health conditions can increase addiction risks.

You Never Saw What a Healthy Relationship Looked Like

The relationships we see and experience as children have a powerful effect on how we engage in adult relationships. If you’ve never seen an example of a healthy relationship in your life, it can impact how you navigate relationships in adulthood.

Why Addiction to a Person Can Be Harmful

Pop songs might make it sound fun, but addiction to another person can be dangerous. These are the reasons why:

• You may stay with someone even if they become abusive
• The rest of your life, such as your work or school, may suffer because you give less time and energy to it
• People in healthy relationships may no longer want to be around you
• You may use substances to cope with troubles in the relationship
• If the relationship ends, you may feel unable to cope with life

What to Do If You Think You’re Addicted to A Person

Being addicted to someone is mentally unhealthy, but it doesn’t have to be permanent. You can take steps to turn your relationship and your life around for the better.

It’s possible to educate yourself, and to get help, so that you can change. It may take some time, but as you start to recognize these patterns, you can make progress toward establishing healthier, more fulfilling connections.

Learn About Addiction

Addiction can be lifelong, so if you’re experiencing it as a life issue, it’s very important that you work to understand what it is and your own personal risk factors.

Addiction recovery programs offer substantial literature, usually in the blog sections of their websites, about addiction-related issues. Educating yourself about what addiction is and how it has been at play in your life can be a key step to your recovery.

Learn About Codependence

Addiction and codependence may be intertwined. Codependence defines a relationship dynamic where people rely on one another to an unhealthy extent. This may be particularly apt if you are in a relationship where each of you feels addicted to the other.

There are many steps you can take to stop being codependent, as it is fully possible to recover from it. Taking care of your needs, establishing healthier boundaries, and communicating with others who experience codependency can all play a part in helping you change your patterns.

Seek Professional Help

Educating yourself can potentially be enough to help you shift away from addictive behavior, but this is often not the case.

It’s very normal to need professional help. Many types might be right for you, from a relationship therapist to an addiction program.