Posts in category: Dating Tips, Guide and Advice

Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) and borderline personality disorder (BPD) share some common traits (they’re both personality disorders, after all). While there are some symptoms that overlap, it’s essential to remember that these are distinct conditions with some key differences.

The causes of these conditions and how they manifest can be strikingly different.

Symptoms of ASPD vs. BPD

Both ASPD and BPD are Cluster B personality disorders in the DSM-5. Cluster B disorders are characterized by overly emotional, dramatic, and unpredictable thinking and behavior. Both conditions are marked by disinhibition, hostility, and impulsivity. ASPD and BDP are also characterized by an increased suicide rate of between 5% and 9%.

However, the two conditions differ in important ways. Antisocial personality disorder is characterized by few emotions and affects more men than women. In contrast, borderline personality disorder consists of extreme emotions and affects both men and women equally. 

ASPD Personality Traits

According to the DSM-5, people with antisocial personality disorder may exhibit the following behavioral characteristics:

• Antagonism: Antagonism in ASPD is displayed through manipulation, such as using charming behavior to influence someone. People with ASPD often engage in vengeful behaviors over minor slights and may even resort to aggression, violence, and cruelty.
• Disinhibition: Disinhibition in ASPD is characterized by a disregard for social conventions and reckless, risk-taking behaviors at the expense of others’ safety or feelings. It is not uncommon for people with ASPD to break promises, miss appointments, or drop activities out of boredom or spite.
• Emotional detachment: People with ASPD exhibit greater egocentric behaviors, making it difficult to establish balanced and supportive relationships. This emotional detachment can complicate psychotherapy, the practice of which relies heavily on open interaction.

BPD Personality Traits

People with BPD may have the following personality traits:

• Negative affectivity: Negative affectivity is characterized by unstable and unpredictable mood changes that are more dramatic than a situation warrants. This includes intense anxiety over social situations, persistent fear of rejection, or sudden swings into a deep depression, shame, or guilt. Suicidal thoughts are not uncommon.
• Disinhibition: People with BPD may engage in impulsive, risky behaviors, often due to frantic efforts to avoid real or anticipated abandonment or to change intolerable emotional states. These actions are often turned inward, resulting in self-harm or self-destructiveness. Appointments, promises, and activities will be readily dropped more out of a sense of hopelessness or anger than out of boredom.
• Antagonism: People with BPD are easily spurred to anger but are less likely to shut others out. Rather, they will seek out relationships that can alternate between extremes of idealization and devaluation.

What Causes ASPD and BDP?

The exact causes of ASPD and BPD are not clear, but the two conditions share some risk factors in common. The following are known to increase the risk of a person developing a Cluster B personality disorder:

• Brain differences: Imaging studies suggest that people with ASPD and BPD have structural differences in areas of the brain that regulate emotions and impulse control.
• Family history: Having a family member who has a Cluster B personality disorder increases the risk that a person will also develop ASPD or BPD.
• Experiences: Stressful and traumatic life events such as attachment problems, neglect, and abuse increase the risk of developing these conditions.

According to some evidence, these conditions are influenced by a combination of genetic and environmental factors.

How are ASPD and BPD Diagnosed?

Because the two conditions share similarities, it is important to look for the key differences that differentiate them.  Both conditions involve severe problems with self-functioning and interpersonal functioning, but the way these symptoms manifest is somewhat different between ASPD and BPD.

Antisocial Personality Disorder

According to the “Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders”, 5th Edition, text revision (DSM-5-TR), a person with antisocial personality disorder must be at least 18 years old and have severe problems functioning in these two specific areas:

• Self-functioning: ASPD is broadly defined as behaviors in which people think only of themselves and/or focus on personal goals and gratification without considering what is culturally acceptable or ethical. By definition, people with ASPD gain a sense of self-esteem from pursuing pleasure, power, or getting what they want.
• Interpersonal functioning: People with ASPD cannot display concern or empathy for other people’s feelings or needs. They have difficulty forming any true sense of intimacy and instead use power to exert dominance in a relationship.

Borderline Personality Disorder

To be diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, a person must have severe problems functioning in both of these areas:

• Self-functioning: People with BPD typically struggle with identity and are prone to feelings of emptiness, self-loathing, and worthlessness. Because of this, they have difficulty establishing goals or pursuing long-term interests, often undermining themselves at every turn.
• Interpersonal functioning: Feelings of low self-esteem typically manifest in hypersensitivity to anything construed as criticism or rejection. People with BPD tend to lash out irrationally at even minor slights (like interruptions in conversation). Unable to see beyond their own feelings, people with BPD tend to lack empathy and find themselves in unstable relationships prone to conflict.

Treatments for ASPD and BPD

Antisocial personality disorder and borderline personality disorder are both treated with therapy and medications, but they differ in terms of prognosis and outcomes. BPD can respond well to treatment, but ASPD can present more significant challenges.

Therapy for BPD and ASPD

Certain forms of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), such as dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) and mentalization-based therapy (MBT), have been extremely effective in treating BPD.

People with the condition rarely seek treatment independently and may only come into contact with treatment due to arrest and incarceration. Some evidence suggests that long-term therapy with CBT may help people gain insight and improve their behavior.

Medications for BPD and ASPD

Medications such as antidepressants, antipsychotics, anxiolytics, and mood stabilizers can also help manage symptoms associated with BPD or ASPD, such as depression, aggression, or co-occurring disorders.

Can You Prevent ASPD or BPD?

There is no way to prevent antisocial personality disorder or borderline personality disorder. If you know that you have a family history of BPD, watching for signs and getting an early diagnosis and treatment may help improve outcomes.

ASPD is sometimes preceded by conduct disorder during childhood. Getting an accurate diagnosis and appropriate treatment of conduct disorder during childhood may help minimize the risk of developing ASPD during adulthood.

If you think you might have a personality disorder or you’re concerned about your mood and behavior, talk to your doctor. Only a trained mental health professional can diagnose you.

When it comes to ADHD, stimming is a common and often misunderstood behavior. But what is stimming, and why do people with ADHD do it? Stimming is essentially a self-stimulatory behavior that helps people focus or cope with stress or anxiety. It can involve anything from making repetitive movements to saying specific words or phrases over and over again.

For people with ADHD, stimming can serve as a way to focus their attention and control their impulses. It can also help them calm down when they’re feeling overwhelmed or stressed out.

If you have a loved one with ADHD, it’s important to understand why they stim and how you can help support them. Here are a few things to keep in mind:

• Stimming is not necessarily harmful and does not always need to be discouraged.
• Try to understand why your loved one is stimming and what they are trying to achieve.
• Be supportive and understanding. Let them know that you accept them for who they are.
• If stimming is causing problems or interfering with daily life, talk to your loved one’s doctor about ways to help manage it.

Why Does Stimming Help ADHD?

There is some debate about why stimming helps ADHD, but most experts believe it has to do with the way the brain processes information. For people with ADHD, stimming may help them focus and pay attention to tasks at hand.

ADHD Stimming vs. Autism Stimming

There is a common misconception that stimming is only present in people with autism. While it is more common in people with autism, stimming can occur in anyone.

ADHD and autism are both neurological issues, but they affect different parts of the brain. This means that the symptoms and behaviors will be different in each person.

Types of Stimming

Below are some of the different types of stimming that might be engaged in by people with ADHD.

• Visual: This type of stimming includes looking at specific objects or watching repetitive movements.
• Auditory: This type of stimming includes making specific noises or repeating words or phrases.
• Movement: This type of stimming includes making repetitive movements with the hands, feet, or other parts of the body.
• Taste/Smell: This type of stimming includes tasting or smelling specific things over and over again.
• Tactile: This type of stimming includes things like touching different textures, rubbing one’s hands together, or hugging oneself.
• Oral: This type of stimming includes things like chewing on objects, licking one’s lips, or biting one’s nails.
• Movement: This type of stimming includes things like walking in circles, bouncing up and down, or shaking one’s body.
• Mental: This type of stimming involves repeating certain words or phrases in the mind. Common examples include counting down from 10, reciting the alphabet, or saying the same thing over and over again.

Examples of ADHD Stimming Behaviors

Below are some examples of common stimming behaviors in people with ADHD:

• Fidgeting or tapping fingers
• Spinning around
• Walking or running in place
• Making repetitive noises, such as clicking a pen or humming a song
• Biting fingernails or lips
• Picking at skin or clothes
• Looking at objects or flipping through books over and over again
• Drawing or writing in a specific pattern
• Facing a specific direction for an extended period of time
• Eating the same thing every day

What Is Happy Stimming?

There is a type of stimming called “happy stimming.” This is when people stim to express pleasure rather than to focus or calm down. Happy stimming can involve any type of self-stimulatory behavior, but it’s typically done to express enjoyment rather than to manage negative emotions.

If you see your loved one engaging in happy stimming, try not to discourage them. Instead, support and encourage their interests and activities. Let them know that you love and accept them for who they are.

How Do I Know if I Stim?

If you’re not sure if you stim, ask someone who knows you well. They may be able to spot behaviors that you’re not aware of.

If you do stim, try to keep track of when and why you do it. This can help you understand your own behavior and find ways to minimize or avoid stimming when it’s not necessary or might be disruptive.

How to Manage Stimming Behaviors

If you or someone you know stims to focus or calm down, there are some ways to manage the behavior:

• Set aside a specific time and place for stimming. This can help reduce stress and anxiety.
• Try to find activities that don’t involve stimming, such as socializing, listening to music, or playing sports.
• Distract yourself with other activities when you feel the need to stim. This can help break the habit and improve focus.
• Talk to a therapist or counselor about your stimming behaviors. They may be able to offer helpful tips and strategies.
• Consider using a sensory tool or toy to help manage stimming. These can be found at most stores that sell special needs products.

How to Help Someone Who Stims

If you see someone stimming, there are some things you can do to help:

• Don’t judge or criticize them. Stimming is a way for people with ADHD to manage their symptoms.
• Try to understand why they are stimming and what it does for them.
• Be supportive and accepting of their behavior.
• Encourage them to participate in other activities, such as socializing or exercising.
• Help them find ways to reduce stress and anxiety.
• If applicable, work with them to create a plan for managing their stimming behaviors.
• If the person stimming is a child, talk to their parents or caregivers about your observations and offer help.

The fear of sex is a type of specific phobia known as erotophobia. This condition is more than just general dislike or feelings of anxiety about sex. People with erotophobia experience severe, intense fear that causes serious distress and interferes with their ability to function normally.

What Is the Fear of Sex?

Erotophobia is a phobia or excessive and irrational fear of sex. This condition is often complex as people with erotophobia may be scared of sex in more than one way. For instance, they may fear the act of sexual intercourse (genophobia) along with having a fear of being touched (haphephobia).

Symptoms of the Fear of Sex

For a fear of sex to rise to the level of becoming a phobia, the fear must be excessive, irrational, create great anxiety or distress, and occur for at least six months. It’s not simply “being scared of sex,” which can be natural—and even expected—in some situations and for some people.

Signs that you or someone you love may have erotophobia include:

• Having a strong negative attitude toward sex
• Having a strong negative response to a sexual stimulus
• Experiencing feelings of avoidance toward sex

Underlying Fears

There are certain underlying fears that, if you have them, may be signs of (or even contribute to) an elevated fear of sex. They are:

• Fear of intimacy: The fear of intimacy is often, though not always, rooted in a fear of abandonment or its twin, the fear of engulfment. Those who fear intimacy are not necessarily afraid of the sex act itself but are afraid of the emotional closeness that it may bring.
• Fear of vulnerability: Like the fear of intimacy, the fear of vulnerability is often tied to a fear of abandonment or fear of engulfment. In this case, people are afraid that if they are totally themselves, others will not like them. Fear of vulnerability can affect all types of relationships, both sexual and non-sexual.

Related Phobias

People with erotophobia can have one or more phobias or fears related to sex. Here are a few to consider.

Genophobia

Also known as coitophobia, genophobia is the fear of sexual intercourse. People with genophobia may be able to begin romantic relationships and may quite enjoy activities such as kissing and cuddling but are afraid to move into a more physical display of affection.

Paraphobia

Paraphobia, or the fear of sexual perversion, can involve a fear of being perverted yourself or a fear of the perversion of others. Additionally, some people with paraphobia are able to enjoy sexual relationships that fit well within their personal moral code, while others are afraid that any form of intimacy might be perverted.

Haphephobia

Also known as chiraptophobia, haphephobia is the fear of being touched and can affect all relationships, not just those of a romantic nature. Some people recoil from even passing contact by a relative, for instance, while others are only afraid of more protracted touch.

Gymnophobia

Gymnophobia, or the fear of nudity, can appear in different ways. Some people are afraid of being naked themselves, others of people being naked around them. This phobia may co-occur with body image issues or feelings of inadequacy, although it can also occur alone.

Philemaphobia

Also known as philematophobia, the fear of kissing can have many causes. One potential cause is a concern over bad breath. Someone with a germ phobia may also develop this fear.

Diagnosis of Erotophobia

To be diagnosed with a phobia like erotophobia, certain criteria must be met. Criteria for a specific phobia diagnosis include:

• Having a marked fear of a specific object or situation that is out of proportion or excessive and occurs for six months or more
• The fear provokes an immediate response most of the time, often leading to avoidance of the situation or increased distress when the situation presents itself
• The fear impacts other areas of the individual’s life, such as socially or professionally
• The fear is not a result of any other mental disorder

What Causes a Fear of Sex?

While it isn’t always easy to pinpoint a specific cause of erotophobia, some people may be at a higher risk of developing this phobia.

Sexual Abuse

Although not everyone with erotophobia has been raped or sexually abused, those who have been traumatized sexually are at increased risk of developing some form of erotophobia.

Other Trauma

People who have been through other types of major traumas also have a higher risk of developing anxiety disorders, including phobias.

If the trauma was physical, for instance, you may develop a touch-related erotophobia. Conversely, those who have been through psychological or emotional abuse may be more likely to develop intimacy or vulnerability fears.

Personal, Cultural, and Religious Mores

Many religions and societies frown on sexual intercourse except for procreation. Research suggests that there is a positive relationship between erotophobia and growing up in a religion with strong ideas around sex and what is appropriate.

Sexual Performance Anxiety

Sometimes, it isn’t actually sex that we fear. Instead, we may worry about our own ability to please a partner. Sexual performance anxiety is very common, affecting up to 25% of men and 16% of women, and can impact physical function during sex or inhibit sexual desire.

Age

Some researchers suggest that older people, such as those in older care homes, may develop erotophobia due to the perception that sex in this age group may be pathological or that it should not occur. This is often referred to as ageist erotophobia.

Physical Concerns

Some people worry that sex will hurt. Others wonder if they will be able to perform due to a physiological condition or sexual dysfunction. These physical concerns can contribute to the development of a sex-related phobia such as erotophobia.

Treatment for Erotophobia

Because erotophobia is so complex, seeking professional help is recommended. This professional can help determine what type of treatment remedies are needed, such as medication and psychotherapy.

Medication

Some practitioners prescribe medications to help reduce erotophobia symptoms in patients. Two drugs that are sometimes used for erotophobia treatment are:

Other drugs for treating specific phobias include antidepressants, monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOIs), benzodiazepines, and beta-blockers.

Psychotherapy

Cognitive behavioral therapy can help ease specific phobias. This is a type of psychotherapy that involves identifying and changing thought patterns that negatively impact one’s life.

Sex therapists are licensed mental health professionals who have completed additional training and certification in the treatment of sexual concerns. They can help you cultivate a more positive attitude toward sex.

However, it is not always necessary to seek a sex therapist, as most mental health professionals are capable of treating and managing erotophobia.

Combination Approach

Some patients get better results when combining medication and psychotherapy. When the appropriate avenues are pursued with both of these erotophobia treatment options, the ability to resolve this condition is promising.

Coping With a Fear of Sex

There are some things you can do on your own to help you better cope with erotophobia and its symptoms. For example, relaxation exercises and breathing control exercises can help reduce the anxiety that comes with an elevated fear of sex.

If someone you love has erotophobia, educating yourself about this condition can increase your understanding of what they are going through. If you are their partner, it may even help to attend their counseling sessions (if the therapist agrees and recommends it).

Not all stress is the same. Some of the stress that you face in life can be more detrimental to your well-being, and some types of stress can actually be healthy. One type of beneficial stress is known as eustress.

Eustress refers to stress that leads to a positive response. It is the opposite of distress and can refer to any type of beneficial stress, whether physical or psychological. It tends to be short-term and often feels exciting. People perceive this type of stress as manageable and even motivating.

Physically, eustress can often resemble distress in many ways. You might feel nervous; your heart might pound; your thoughts might race. The difference is how these physical sensations are perceived.

With distress, they may feel uncomfortable and overwhelmed. With eustress, you might feel excitement or a sense of anticipation.

Examples of Eustress

Eustress is associated with positive outcomes. To understand this type of beneficial stress, it can be helpful to consider a few different examples of when it may occur. Unlike distress, eustress is typically associated with feelings of excitement and challenge rather than anxiety or fear.

• Life changes: Major life transitions can create eustress. Examples of changes that can create this type of beneficial stress include starting a new job, being involved in a relationship, and parenting children.
• Smaller challenges: The excitement of a roller-coaster ride, a scary movie, or a fun challenge are all examples of eustress. Even a particularly tough workout can be an example of this type of stress.
• New experiences: Traveling can also create eustress. It can involve significant discomfort and unfamiliarity, but it also provides many discoveries. The anticipation of a first date, the first day at a new job, or other exciting firsts also fall under the umbrella of eustress.

Impact of Eustress

Eustress is a type of stress that is actually important for us to have in our lives. Eustress can have a variety of positive effects. For instance, it may:

• Help you concentrate and focus
• Encourage you to take on new challenges
• Motivate you to pursue your goals,
• Help you feel more resilient in the face of challenges
• Give meaning and purpose to your life
• Help you to feel healthier and happier

A certain amount of stress can be beneficial when it comes to motivation and performance. In fact, the Yerkes-Dodson law suggests that optimal arousal levels (i.e., stress) contribute to improved performance, but only up to a certain point. And different tasks may benefit from different levels of stress and arousal.

Eustress is often thought of as a beneficial type of stress because it can positively impact your life. However, it’s important to remember that eustress is still a type of stress. Because of this, eustress can become distress, or even chronic stress, if it becomes too intense or lasts for too long.

Identify and Respond to Eustress

To manage your stress levels, it is important to recognize the differences between eustress and other types of stress. This isn’t always straightforward because they sometimes resemble each other.

Understanding eustress can help you more easily manage other types of stress as well. For example, research shows that when an event is perceived as a “threat,” people respond to it differently than if it’s seen as a “challenge.”

This understanding can help you evaluate many of the stressors in your life as challenges rather than threats. There are a number of strategies that can help you shift into seeing events as challenges rather than threats:

• Use positive self-talk: This can be done by changing how you talk to yourself about these challenges. Make an effort to tell yourself that these are challenges you can cope with.
• Focus on what you can control: It can also be helpful to focus on the resources that you have to handle these challenges. Focusing on what you can control rather than what might go wrong can help you feel more positive about the challenges you face.
• Adjust your mindset: When you work on shifting your mindset and approach stress as a challenge whenever possible, you can manage these challenges with greater resilience.

Potential Pitfalls

Eustress doesn’t generally carry the same type of damage as chronic stress. Chronic stress is persistent, long-lasting stress that is psychologically or emotionally draining. It is also the most harmful to your health and well-being.

However, too much eustress can still tax your system. You can feel overloaded and stressed by too much eustress if you’re not allowing yourself to return to a relaxed state and have a healthy balance of restorative downtime.

Changing your perspective can certainly help with stress management, but it’s not the only strategy that should be used. If you have too many challenges in your life, even eustress can become chronic stress and lead to burnout or worse. Some ways to deal with this include:

• Being mindful of where your limitations are and work to maintain balance in your life.
• Cutting out any unnecessary obligations (particularly ones that you don’t enjoy).
• Adopting some resilience-promoting habits that can help you to be less reactive to stress overall.
• Becoming comfortable with saying no to new activities if they won’t truly serve you.

This takes practice, but it can make all the difference in your stress levels.