Posts in category: Dating Tips, Guide and Advice

People might suck or chew on ice on a hot summer day or after finishing a drink. But what does it mean if you constantly crave ice? While it depends on the circumstances, frequency, and intensity of the craving, a compelling urge to chew ice could mean that you have a physical or mental health condition.

Learn more about ice cravings and the disorders they could be signs of, such as ice pica and iron deficiency. We also talk about how to know when an urge to chew ice is problematic, and how to stop your cravings if they have risen to this level.

Reasons You May Be Craving Ice

Craving ice occasionally is usually nothing to worry about. It’s when the craving becomes obsessive—both in terms of the amount of time and energy devoted to thinking about eating ice and actually doing it—that there is cause for concern. Here are some reasons you might have an urge to always chew ice.

Ice Pica

When persistent eating of ice lasts longer than a month and is clinically impactful in your life, it may be diagnosed as a form of pica. Pica is a mental health condition where people crave and eat non-nutritive items such as dirt, hair, paper, ice, or sand.

The form of pica that involves intense cravings for ice is called ice pica or pagophagia. It is characterized by an addiction-like compulsion to suck, eat, or chew ice and/or to drink ice-cold beverages. Because of this compulsion, pica is considered an obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).

People with ice pica may want specific types of ice or desire to consume it in specific ways. For example, one person may compulsively want to drink ice cold drinks, while others eat ice coated in sugary syrups. Some fixate on chewing ice and others suck on it like a hard candy until it dissolves.

Iron Deficiency

Craving ice and/or ice-cold drinks can also be associated with iron deficiency, with or without anemia. The reason for this association is not completely clear, but there are a couple of theories.

One is that iron deficiency causes fatigue, making you feel tired all the time. So, some researchers speculate that the urge to eat ice or drink cold beverages starts as a subconscious way to keep alert since the low temperature of ice provides an energy boost. Others theorize that eating ice helps soothe the swollen tongue that often accompanies anemia.

Regardless of the cause, certain individuals are at higher risk of developing this condition. This includes women who are pregnant or menstruating, children, and anyone who drinks a lot of cow’s milk or consumes primarily low-iron foods.

Iron deficiency and ice pica often occur together. In a study of blood donors, 11% of people with iron depletion also had ice pica, compared with 4% of those with sufficient iron levels. Some researchers suggest that this is because pica is a sign of iron deficiency rather than being a cause.

Other Causes

Ice cravings can also be associated with several other medical conditions, including:

Consequences of Constantly Chewing Ice

One negative consequence of regularly chewing ice is the damage this does to the teeth. Since ice is cold and hard, it can weaken the tooth’s structure, sometimes causing it to break or crack, also increasing the tooth’s vulnerability to decay. This can result in big dental bills and a marred smile.

Another worrisome component of constant ice cravings is that you may be consuming ice in lieu of nutritious food. Some research has also found a connection between pagophagia and eating disorders.

Signs Ice Cravings May Be a Problem

How do you know when your ice cravings or ice-chewing habit may be an indicator of a mental or physical health issue? Here are some signs to watch for:

• You’re not craving ice for the purpose of hydration, i.e., you’ve been working outside in the heat for several hours and are thirsty
• Your desire for ice is obsessive and consuming
• You spend a great deal of time thinking about ice and/or engaging in the act of chewing or sucking on it

The major difference between just liking to consume ice and pagophagia is that the latter is a prolonged, unrelenting longing rather than a simple preference.

Identifying the Cause of Your Ice Cravings

If you have ice cravings, finding the cause is important for good health. Undiagnosed and untreated iron-deficiency anemia can lead to heart problems, pregnancy complications, and developmental delays in children.

If you have ice pica and this goes untreated, it can result in significant health risks, such as those related to imbalanced electrolyte levels and metabolic disorders. There’s also the daily impact and mental health toll of coping with a constant urge to eat ice.

Making an appointment with your primary care provider or a mental health professional is a good place to start and they can refer you to a specialist if needed. When meeting with them, being honest about the frequency and intensity of your ice cravings and behaviors is critical to them making a correct diagnosis.

Both ice pica and iron deficiency can go undiagnosed if you don’t share your compulsion with your health providers and/or they don’t ask about it—and they may not ask about ice cravings as studies show that many medical professionals aren’t aware of pica disorders, causing them to miss this diagnosis.

Treatment for Ice Cravings

The treatment for resolving ice cravings depends on the underlying cause. If you have iron deficiency with anemia, for instance, an iron supplement is generally a first-line treatment. In serious cases, intravenous iron infusion, blood transfusion, or surgery may be recommended instead.

Research on effective pagophagia treatments is scarce. Some studies say that rectifying nutritional deficiencies often causes pagophagia to completely resolve. Others suggest that, since a deficiency isn’t always present, it’s important to look for and treat any underlying psychological condition, with OCD, depression, and anxiety being potential considerations.

In cases such as this, treating ice pica may involve counseling, with one option being cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). CBT can help by identifying negative thoughts contributing to a person’s psychological distress, then finding ways to change these thoughts for a healthier emotional and behavioral response.

For example, sometimes people chew ice as a way to relieve stress. CBT can teach healthier stress management techniques, such as exercise or mindfulness, which can also help to boost energy levels.

It’s important to note that, while these treatments may help, they may not entirely resolve the ice cravings. Once the compulsion to chew ice has become habitual, it can be hard to break.

Coping With Ice Cravings

If you find yourself often craving ice, getting treatment from a qualified practitioner is your first step. Becoming more aware of your condition, acknowledging that your compulsion for ice has become a problem, and taking steps to resolve the underlying issues can help get you on the right path.

It may also be helpful to replace your ice craving with another habit that is less detrimental. Examples include eating an apple, chewing gum, or even consuming a cold ice-less drink.

Sharing your condition with loved ones who can support your efforts and provide encouragement and a safe place to talk about how ice cravings are impacting you may strengthen your resolve to overcome this compulsion. Finding effective stress relief measures helps, too.

Projection is a defense mechanism in which an individual recognizes their unacceptable traits or impulses in someone else to avoid recognizing those traits or impulses in themselves subconsciously.

For example, someone who bullies another for being anxious and insecure may be doing so to avoid acknowledging they exhibit those same tendencies.

Origins of Projection

Sigmund Freud proposed the idea of defense mechanisms as part of his psychoanalytic theory. A defense mechanism is an unconscious strategy people use to defend the ego against uncomfortable personal characteristics that would cause anxiety if they recognized them consciously.

Freud initially proposed projection as one of several defense mechanisms, which his daughter, Anna Freud, expanded on in her book, “The Ego and the Mechanisms of Its Defence.”

Development of Projection

Projection depends on an internalized understanding of right and wrong, and therefore can’t be used as a defense mechanism until the individual develops a conscience during mid-childhood.

Nonetheless, projection is considered fairly primitive because it is based on a black-and-white understanding of good and bad. As a result, studies have shown that children are most likely to use projection as a defense mechanism in early and mid-adolescence and less in late adolescence as they start to employ more mature defense mechanisms, such as identification, in which an individual internalizes and reproduces the behavior of another.

Research with men has shown that when they typically employ more mature defense mechanisms, they tend to have better physical health, career outcomes, and marital satisfaction. Meanwhile, a study of young adults demonstrated that extensive use of projection as a defense mechanism was associated with a suspicious, hyper-alert personality style in men and a sociable, trusting, non-depressed personality style in women.

Examples of Projection

Projection may be used as a defense mechanism in any circumstance. People protect their self-esteem by denying characteristics, impulses, or feelings they find threatening while seeing those same characteristics in someone else. Some examples include:

• A wife is attracted to a male co-worker but can’t admit her feelings, so when her husband talks about a female co-worker, she becomes jealous and accuses him of being attracted to the other woman.
• A man who feels insecure about his masculinity mocks other men for acting like women.
• An athlete instinctively dislikes a hockey team member, but over time begins to believe their teammate hates them.
• A woman criticizes her daughter for interrupting her while she’s talking, when in fact, she regularly interrupts her daughter.
• Someone feels guilty for feeling the urge to steal, leading them to suspect that others are planning to take their wallet or other valuables.
• A young man ignores his own aggressive impulses and instead inaccurately believes his friend has aggressive tendencies.

Projection as a Defense Mechanism or Something Else?

Since Freud first introduced projection as a defense mechanism, people have often used the term in everyday conversation. However, when they discuss projection in simple terms, they usually don’t think of it as a defensive element.

In these instances, projection describes seeing one’s traits in others or, slightly more specifically, seeing traits in others that one incorrectly believes they don’t possess. Yet, neither of these cases is projection used to protect the ego against features one finds threatening. The personal characteristics one projects onto others could be positive or neutral.

Without a defensive element, one shouldn’t consider projection a defense mechanism but as a cognitive bias in which one assumes other people are similar. The idea that people overestimate the number of people who share their traits, desires, thoughts, and feelings is referred to as the false consensus , and studies have provided ample evidence for this tendency.

Impact of Defensive Projection

Like many defense mechanisms, in the short term, projection can be helpful. By denying uncomfortable truths about themselves, people can better cope with their anxieties and maintain their self-esteem.

However, projection can ultimately become harmful because it can disrupt interpersonal relationships and lead to issues like bullying, jealousy, and victim-blaming. It also may cause the individual to subconsciously create a hostile social world they believe is populated by people who exhibit the traits they dislike most and are least willing to confront in themselves.

Furthermore, studies have shown that frequent use of defensive projection is associated with features related to borderline, narcissistic, histrionic, and psychopathic personality disorders.

How to Recognize and Overcome Projection

Given the subconscious nature of defense mechanisms, recognizing your own use of defensive projection can be challenging, but it is possible.

• The first step is self-reflection. Try to be honest with yourself about what makes you insecure and anxious, and examine the traits and impulses you have that you may least like about yourself.
• Then, attempt to view your behavior objectively to see if you may be projecting any of the anxieties you have about yourself onto someone else. Try not to judge yourself during this exploration; observe and honestly assess without dwelling on anything you uncover.

This can be an uncomfortable process, so it may be best to undertake it with a mental health professional. A therapist or counselor familiar with defense mechanisms and projection, in particular, can guide you through this process and help you face what you find. Moreover, a therapist can help you become more comfortable with the characteristics, thoughts, and feelings that have caused you to project onto others in the first place.

Wet brain is a disorder of the brain caused by a chronic thiamine (vitamin B1) deficiency. It’s also known as Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome (WKS), named after German neurologist Carl Wernicke and neuropsychiatrist Sergei Korsakoff.

WKS can be divided into two stages or conditions: Wernicke’s encephalopathy and Korsakoff’s psychosis. Wet brain is most commonly seen in people with alcohol use disorder. In fact, the term ‘wet brain’ was developed in direct reference to the condition’s link with alcohol dependence and misuse. 

Who Gets Wet Brain?

While anyone can develop the disorder, people who consume alcohol are more likely to develop the condition.

While wet brain is most commonly associated with alcohol use disorder, it can also be the result of eating disorders, malnutrition, and gastrointestinal disorders that affect thiamine absorption.

Research shows that wet brain is more likely to develop in men than women. This is because men are more likely to be diagnosed with alcohol use disorder, the leading cause of wet brain. With the proper treatment and management, it’s possible to reverse the damage the condition has caused to your brain.

Characteristics of Wet Brain 

Wet brain causes varying symptoms depending on the stage of your condition. A persistent sign is confusion, which often makes it difficult for people with the disorder to realize that something is wrong with them.

Many signs of wet brain are similar to alcohol intoxication, which makes it essential to look out for signs of the condition when a person is sober. Common symptoms include:

• Memory loss 
• Double vision 
• Loss of coordination 
• Difficulties with memory 
• Abnormal eye movements 
• Unusual eye movements, such as drooping eyelids 
• Loss of body heat or hypothermia 
• Rapid heartbeat, also known as tachycardia 
• Drowsiness 
• Double vision 
• Drooping eyelids 
• Eye muscle weakness 

When left untreated, wet brain will develop into Korsakoff’s psychosis which is the fatal stage of the condition. Symptoms of this stage include:

• Fatigue 
• Delirium 
• Severe memory loss 
• Inability to form new memories 
• Hallucinations 
• Confabulations 
• Difficulty focusing or paying attention 

Factors That Increase the Risk for Wet Brain

While alcohol use disorder is the leading cause of wet brain, other factors that prevent your body from getting sufficient thiamine can also trigger the disorder. Such factors include:

• Advanced stages of cancer 
• Kidney failure and long-term dialysis 
• HIV/AIDS
• Thyrotoxicosis, a condition that causes high thyroid hormone levels 
• Heart failure that is being treated with diuretic therapy 
• Extreme nausea and vomiting 

Stages of Wet Brain 

Wet brain occurs in two stages: Wernicke’s encephalopathy and Korsakoff’s psychosis. 

Wernicke’s Encephalopathy

The first stage of wet brain is typically severe but temporary. Wernicke’s encephalopathy devolves into Korsakoff’s psychosis when wet brain goes undiagnosed and untreated. At this stage, a person with this condition might find it difficult to walk or become confused when engaging in daily activities such as getting dressed.

Around 80 to 90% of people with alcohol use disorder who have Wernicke’s encephalopathy develop Korsakoff’s psychosis.

Early treatment in this stage, typically with thiamine supplements, can alleviate symptoms and prevent the condition from degenerating into Korsakoff’s psychosis. Although Wernicke’s encephalopathy is generally caused by alcoholism, other potential causes include severe malnutrition, liver disease, hyperthyroidism, and severe anorexia. 

Korsakoff’s Psychosis 

Korsakoff’s psychosis occurs after Wernicke’s encephalopathy. It’s persistent, chronic, and typically irreversible. Symptoms of this stage of wet brain include impaired memory and learning abilities.

People with Korsakoff’s psychosis have increased difficulty with coordination and movement. They will also exhibit symptoms of retrograde amnesia and find it challenging to learn and process new information.

The condition is also referred to as alcoholic dementia because of its ability to cause severe memory loss and induce hallucinations and behavioral changes, which are all hallmarks of dementia. People with Korsakoff’s psychosis experience memory loss and have difficulty forming new memories. You might find that they can narrate an ordeal to you in detail an hour after it happens but cannot remember it a few days later. 

Identifying Wet Brain 

A proper diagnosis of wet brain can’t be made for a person with alcohol use disorder until they are in recovery. This is because many symptoms of wet brain are similar to withdrawal symptoms from alcohol. Early diagnosis of wet brain is essential for effective treatment of the condition.

Your doctor will order tests to check your thiamine levels when attempting to diagnose wet brain. They might also check for signs of alcohol use disorder which is the leading cause of wet brain. A brain MRI to show if there has been any damage to tissues in your brain might be recommended. 

What Causes Wet Brain?

Wet brain is caused by a severe thiamine (vitamin B1) deficiency. Thiamine is essential for converting sugar to energy in our bodies and creating chemical messengers in our brains.

Chronic alcohol users often have inflamed digestive tracts, making it difficult for the body to absorb the thiamine it needs from the foods they consume.

Treatment for Wet Brain 

There is currently no cure for wet brain. Early diagnosis and treatment can reverse some of the symptoms of Wernicke’s encephalopathy, which is the first stage of the condition.

However, this is most effective in the early stages of the condition, where thiamine can still help to improve brain function.

Thiamine will either be administered orally or intravenously. Other vitamins and supplements which will help your body more effectively produce and utilize thiamine might also be recommended by your doctor. However, thiamine does little to help with Korsakoff’s psychosis as it can’t help to reverse memory loss. 

Coping With Wet Brain

Wet brain is a severe disorder that needs early diagnosis and adequate treatment. If you are lucky to have gotten an early diagnosis, the damage done to your brain is still reversible. In addition to your treatment plan, the following management techniques can help you make a full recovery. 

Abstinence From Alcohol

Wet brain is often caused by alcohol misuse. Abstaining from alcohol completely while receiving treatment for wet brain is vital for a full recovery. Abstinence should persist even after making a full recovery from the condition. 

Maintain a Balanced Diet

While wet brain is caused by a thiamine deficiency specifically, consuming the daily recommended doses of other essential vitamins and nutrients can help your body more effectively absorb and utilize thiamine being given as treatment for the condition. 

Eat Foods Rich in Thiamine

It’s essential to continue eating foods that are rich in thiamine even after you discontinue thiamine supplements. Foods like oranges, milk, spinach, pork, and soybeans are all rich in thiamine. 

A Skinner box is an enclosed apparatus that contains a bar or key that an animal subject can manipulate in order to obtain reinforcement. Developed by B. F. Skinner and also known as an operant conditioning chamber, this box also has a device that records each response provided by the animal as well as the unique schedule of reinforcement that the animal was assigned. Common animal subjects include rats and pigeons.

Skinner was inspired to create his operant conditioning chamber as an extension of the puzzle boxes that Edward Thorndike famously used in his research on the law of effect. Skinner himself did not refer to this device as a Skinner box, instead preferring the term “lever box.”

How a Skinner Box Works

The design of a Skinner box can vary depending upon the type of animal and the experimental variables. It must include at least one lever, bar, or key that the animal can manipulate.

When the lever is pressed, food, water, or some other type of reinforcement might be dispensed. Other stimuli can also be presented, including lights, sounds, and images. In some instances, the floor of the chamber may be electrified.

The Skinner box is usually enclosed, to keep the animal from experiencing other stimuli. Using the device, researchers can carefully study behavior in a very controlled environment. For example, researchers could use the Skinner box to determine which schedule of reinforcement led to the highest rate of response in the study subjects.

The Skinner Box in Research

Imagine that a researcher wants to determine which schedule of reinforcement will lead to the highest response rates. Pigeons are placed in chambers where they receive a food pellet for pecking at a response key. Some pigeons receive a pellet for every response (continuous reinforcement).

Partial Reinforcement Schedules

Other pigeons obtain a pellet only after a certain amount of time or number of responses have occurred (partial reinforcement). There are several types of partial reinforcement schedules.

• Fixed-ratio schedule: Pigeons receive a pellet after they peck at the key a certain number of times; for example, they would receive a pellet after every five pecks.
• Variable-ratio schedule: Subjects receive reinforcement after a random number of responses.
• Fixed-interval schedule: Subjects are given a pellet after a designated period of time has elapsed; for example, every 10 minutes.
• Variable-interval schedule: Subjects receive a pellet at random intervals of time.

Once the data has been obtained from the trials in the Skinner boxes, researchers can then look at the rate of responding. This will tell them which schedules led to the highest and most consistent level of responses.

Skinner Box Myths

The Skinner box should not be confused with one of Skinner’s other inventions, the baby tender (also known as the air crib). At his wife’s request, Skinner created a heated crib with a plexiglass window that was designed to be safer than other cribs available at that time. Confusion over the use of the crib led to it being confused with an experimental device, which led some to believe that Skinner’s crib was actually a variation of the Skinner box.

At one point, a rumor spread that Skinner had used the crib in experiments with his daughter, leading to her eventual suicide. The Skinner box and the baby tender crib were two different things entirely, and Skinner did not conduct experiments on his daughter or with the crib. Nor did his daughter take her own life. 

We tend to think of physical touch as one of the five love languages, and perhaps something that isn’t a priority for everyone. But whether you consider yourself a physically affectionate person or not, nonsexual touch plays an important role in all of our lives.

A lack of touch is called touch starvation or skin hunger. And even those of us who are averse to lots of physical contact with others benefit from some amount of it, and we suffer when we don’t experience it.

What does it mean to be touch starved?

It’s normal to go for short periods of time without touch. Dr. Patrice Le Goy explains touch starvation as what occurs “when we go for an extended period of time without receiving physical touch from another person.” You may notice touch starvation intensely, or it might be just a background feeling for you.

If you’re in a relationship that lacks physical contact, you may be particularly frustrated. That’s because as adults, our partners are the default place we receive affection and touch from. Whether you think about it a lot or a little, a lack of touch impacts you regardless, and it may cause a strain on your relationship if not addressed. Let’s look at why that is.

Why do I crave it?

We need touch throughout the entirety of our lives. “While the frequency of how often we need physical touch varies by personality, culture, medical conditions, and other factors, it is still true that humans are wired to need physical touch,” says Le Goy.

This need for touch begins as soon as we are born. “From the time a baby is born, having physical connections helps them to thrive—think of how new parents are encouraged to have skin-to-skin contact with their newborns right away,” says Le Goy. She adds that “this builds a bond between the parent and child…and while we may not realize it,  this need continues throughout our entire lives.”

Being touched and touching others makes us feel good on a physiological level. It provides important psychological benefits too, of course, but it has a real impact on our hormones. Le Goy explains that “physical touch is calming and soothing and provides comfort when we are distressed. It also releases the “love hormone” oxytocin and reduces the “stress hormone” (cortisol).”

What happens when we don’t get enough physical touch?

As you might guess, when we are touch-starved we are less likely to thrive in the ways that we do when we experience touch on a regular basis.

Le Goy says that touch starvation can express itself as an assortment of emotional and physiological symptoms. “When we are starved for touch and are getting less oxytocin and more cortisol, it makes sense that we start showing symptoms of depression, stress, and anxiety,” she tells us.

Additionally, she says that “we may also have difficulty regulating our emotions or feeling content in our relationships when we are touch starved.” Touch starvation is bad for our mental health, and it can negatively impact our relationships. It can also lead to assorted emotional wellness problems, and without the proper hormones being produced by our bodies to fix those issues, our problems can then be compounded further.

Causes and Contributing Factors of Touch Starvation

Occurrences both in childhood and as adults can contribute to a situation of touch starvation. Let’s look at them more closely.

Childhood Care

Because it’s so important for babies and children to be touched in order for them to grow properly both physically and emotionally, a lack of touch in childhood can create lifelong issues.

“As children get older, not receiving adequate physical touch can lead to isolation, behavioral issues, and difficulty forming healthy relationship attachments,” says Le Goy. Once we are adults, we may have an aversion to touch if we were not properly handled as kids.

“As adults it can feel uncomfortable or unsafe to seek out that type of closeness,” says Le Goy on what can occur when touch-starved children grow into adulthood.

Loss of Relationship

If you recently went through a breakup, you may be struck by how jarring the sensation of not being touched is.

Le Goy says that you “may experience this after the loss of a relationship where they suddenly do not have that partner who was reliably providing them with that physical connection.” If you are used to having someone with whom to hold hands and cuddle, and suddenly you don’t, the change can feel profound.

COVID-19 Societal Changes

The pandemic changed numerous things about our day to day lives, and while it impacted some people more than others, no one was unaffected by it. That includes how we treat one another now in a physical sense.

“We have to consider how the COVID-19 pandemic affected people’s fear around being close to each other, the isolation many people experienced, and what impact that has on us over time,” says Le Goy. Studies have shown that touch hunger is indeed an unfortunate consequence of the pandemic.

Relationship Challenges

Some people shy away from their partner(s) when they’re going through a rough time. Others stop being affectionate when they feel less attracted to someone. And for still others, conflicts in relationship that go unaddressed or unresolved can lead to a lack of interest in being physical.

When in a relationship, clear and kind communication is the most effective way to address and recover from touch starvation. If you notice your partner(s) touching you less, you can lead with curiosity instead of judgment, share what you are observing and check in with your partner about what may be happening, and work together to resolve the issues causing it.

Practical Solutions to Alleviate Touch Starvation

As painful as it is for our overall emotional wellness to not experience touch, thankfully there are many ways of relieving skin hunger. Dr. Le Goy suggests the following practical ways you can alleviate touch starvation in your life, and reminds us that “it is important to remember that all physical touch counts—so if yours is due to losing a relationship partner, you don’t necessarily need to be in another romantic relationship in order to have these needs met.” All of the following activities will help to release oxytocin and reduce your cortisol levels.

• Hug or request a hug from your friends and loved ones
• Holding hands
• Massage, whether self-massage or from a friend or professional bodywork practitioner
• Exercise, especially contact sports
• Petting or playing with a pet
• Attending a cuddle party (an organized gathering where strangers meet and share touch with communication and consent)

How Therapy Can Help

Therapy can help us with anything going on in our lives, and touch starvation is no exception. Le Goy says that if you aren’t sure whether or not you’re experiencing skin hunger, “therapy can help you understand if you are touch starved.” From there, she explains that “a therapist can help you come up with healthy strategies for alleviating the symptoms and regulating your emotions.”

Beyond the introspection and practical advice that a therapist would be beneficial for, Le Goy notes that “sharing your feelings with someone can help you feel less isolated and more empowered and connected.” Touch starvation involves a lack of connection physically, and working emotionally to connect with yourself is an excellent first step to connecting physically with others.

Surrogate partner therapy is a type of therapy in which a therapist, client, and surrogate partner form a three-person team to work together to support a client in understanding and resolving difficulties a client is experiencing, such as issues involving physical touch. Although a therapist cannot touch a client, a surrogate partner is a professional who can, and can work in conjunction with a therapist to support a client on their healing journey.

Why Touch Starvation Needs to Be Addressed

It might sound like a minor problem, but touch starvation is a serious issue that should not be ignored. Our need for touch begins at birth, and is critical for our proper development.

As adults, we continue to rely on touch to lower our stress hormones and keep happy chemicals such as oxytocin in our systems. Not addressing touch starvation can lead to depression, stress, and anxiety that it causes lasting longer than they otherwise would.

If you suspect you’re suffering from touch starvation, it is worth looking into. You can begin by just trying one of the activities suggested, such as playing with a pet or hugging a loved one, and noticing how it makes you feel. If the difference is significant, it may be worth taking more steps to address and heal your touch starvation.

Attachment starts in the womb, so even for children relinquished at birth, this represents a significant trauma and attachment wound. Adoption can play a role in attachment issues, trauma, and behavioral issues that affect people from childhood into adulthood.

There are about seven million adoptees living in the United States, and approximately 140,000 are adopted each year. While many people look at adoption as something beautiful—and it can be—the truth is that adoptees may deal with significant mental health effects after being adopted.

Adoption is often forgotten when speaking about trauma, leading to a form of disenfranchised grief, which is grief that is not typically acknowledged or validated by society. Both the trauma and the unrecognized grief may contribute to significant mental health issues. Here are some ways this affects adoptees.

Adoptees at Higher Risk for Mental Health Issues

Adoptees are statistically known to be more at risk for mental health problems, both due to the initial trauma and genetics. Mental health issues may also be prevalent in biological parents, who have suffered their own traumas, which are then genetically passed on to the child.

A meta-analysis (review of studies) about adoptees’ mental health found higher levels of depression and anxiety than in non-adoptees, with bipolar disorder and major depressive disorder as the two disorders most associated with adoption. Additionally, adoptees are more likely to attempt suicide.

Why Adoptees are at Risk

Adoption is a trauma that is often overlooked. “It’s not natural for a baby anything to be separated immediately from its mother,” says Lesli Johnson, LMFT, a therapist who works with adoptees.

Attachment is the state of emotional connectedness with another human being, primarily parents. Research shows that children who have been adopted face higher levels of attachment insecurity than non-adoptees—and adoptees who enter their parents’ lives later than at one year old have deeper attachment issues than those adopted at birth or soon after.

Some of this may be due to intergenerational transmission of attachment issues—that is, the changes in one’s body/brain due to poor attachment being genetically passed on.

Additionally, Johnson says that some of the issues come from the messaging that adoptees receive—both societally and at home. “If they are told ‘your parent loved you so much, she wanted you to have a better life,’ kids might conflate love with loss. It’s not a great way for adoptive parents to explain it to kids.”

Mental Health Effects of Being Adopted

Adoptees are more likely to have a psychiatric diagnosis than non-adoptees, both due to the effects of trauma as well as the increased chance of heritability. Some common diagnoses among adoptees:

Common Issues Among Adoptees

While there are certain mental health conditions and diagnoses that adoptees are vulnerable to, there are also issues that arise that do not represent a clinical diagnosis, but nonetheless, affect adoptees’ lives.

Disenfranchised Grief

While things like death and divorce are typically recognized as grief, adoption is not often recognized. This is called disenfranchised grief—a type of grief that people feel uncomfortable acknowledging publicly. 

Johnson says that this type of grief is common among adoptees because of the societal messaging suggesting “you should be grateful” or “you were adopted into a good family.”

Hypervigilance

Often associated with PTSD, hypervigilance is a feeling of being constantly on guard for danger. In adoptees, Johnson says this is due to “the initial separation between mom and baby creating high levels of [the stress hormone] cortisol and a tendency for reactivity. That sense of danger for the baby is embedded in the nervous system.”

Trust

Often adults and young adults will experience difficulty with relationships, according to Johnson. “They wonder, ‘Who can I trust?'” Their major experiences with “love” have included loss, so they wonder who will stick around. 

Forming a Sense of Self

While most people will struggle at some point to figure out who they are in the world, adoptees have it even harder. If you don’t even know anything about the people responsible for your genetics, it can be hard to know who you are.

Issues in Children

Johnson says that younger kids, between ages three to five, often have a very literal understanding of adoption. “Adoption [to a kid] simply means ‘I was given to this family.’

“But as kids get older, they start putting things together. They might see a classmate’s pregnant mother and have questions their adoptive family may not be able to answer about their mother’s pregnancy.” 

Grief looks different in children, she says. Rather than tearfulness or sadness, it often looks like acting out or not behaving.

Suicide in Adoptees

Adoptees are at a four times higher rate of risk for suicide, according to one study. It is believed that some of the reasons for this may be early trauma, attachment issues, and a history of institutional care, such as in an orphanage.

Other reasons may include the possible inheritance of susceptibility to mental illness, substance use, or suicidal behavior.

How to Find Help

If you are an adoptee and these or any other issues have been impacting your life, there is support for you out there, from adoption-focused therapists to support groups. You don’t have to face this alone.

Therapy

The good news is that adoptees go to therapy at a higher rate than non-adoptees; they are represented twice as much as non-adoptees in therapy.

When looking for a therapist who specializes in adoption, Johnson suggests asking these three questions:

• Do you think separating a child from biological parents is trauma?
• What has your training been in working with adoption and foster care?
• What is your training in attachment?

You can also search therapy directories for therapists who have experience working with adoptees, or search lists specifically of therapists who have been touched by adoption themselves. 

Support Groups

Adoption can feel like a very unique and isolating experience that few understand. A support group of other adoptees may help you feel less alone. Such groups, whether in-person or online, help you connect with others who have had similar experiences. This can be a great source of encouragement, understanding, and valuable information.

Keep in Mind

You may be close to your adopted family and grateful for the life you have, but that doesn’t mean that you aren’t affected by your adoption. If you are an adoptee who is feeling the mental health effects of being adopted, you’re not alone, and there are therapists who can and want to help you process your trauma.