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Regression is a psychological defense mechanism in which an individual copes with stressful or anxiety-provoking relationships or situations by retreating to an earlier developmental stage. Regression may be seen at any stage of development in both adults and children when someone behaves in a way that’s immature or inappropriate for their age.

For example, an older adult who is hospitalized after being diagnosed with a medical issue may deal with their circumstances by curling up in a fetal position and clutching a stuffed animal. On the other hand, a young child whose parents just brought home their baby sibling may deal with the insecurity of no longer being an only child by reverting to behavior they’d outgrown, such as wetting the bed or sucking their thumb.

Learn the history of this concept and how regression manifests in children and adults. We also discuss how you can overcome regression if you tend to use this defense mechanism in your own life.

History of Regression

Regression and other defense mechanisms were proposed by Sigmund Freud in the 19th century as part of his psychoanalytic theory. His ideas about defense mechanisms, including regression, were later expanded on by his daughter Anna Freud.

Defense mechanisms are unconscious strategies used to protect the ego from stress, fear, or trauma. According to Anna Freud, regression is an immature defense mechanism because the individual who regresses cannot cope in a more constructive, age-appropriate way.

Fixation and Regression

In Freud’s conception, the defense mechanism of regression is closely tied to his stages of psychosexual development. Freud’s theory specifies several stages children go through from infancy through adolescence but especially focuses on development between birth and the age of six.

Stages during this time include the oral, anal, and phallic stages, and everyone goes through them. As a result, a person can become preoccupied with a particular stage regardless of how much they grow beyond it, which Freud called “fixation.”

Such fixations can manifest themselves in behavior that’s indicative of a given stage. For example, if a person is fixated in the oral stage, they may suck on a pen while they’re working or smoke, eat, or drink in excess. Similarly, fixation on the anal stage may manifest itself in a preoccupation with keeping things tidy.

For example, someone going through a tough breakup who typically isn’t fixated at the oral stage may suddenly find eating brings them comfort. In these cases, regression is based on the strength of the fixation. If the person’s fixation on an earlier stage is relatively weak, a major stressor would be needed to lead them to regress; on the other hand, if the person’s fixation is strong, even a minor stressor could result in regression.

Regression in Children

Young children develop new skills and abilities rapidly, however, regression is also a common part of their development. In particular, it is normal and even helpful for a child to regress slightly after mastering something new or adjusting to a new situation like attending daycare or preschool for the first time.

Regression is often a product of being overwhelmed by the new developmental milestone they’ve reached and the fact that it takes them out of a previously established comfort zone.

For instance, a child who has recently learned to feed himself may suddenly seem unable to do so and revert to relying on his caregivers to feed him. Or the first day a child is dropped off at pre-school they may cry and cling to her parent’s leg even though she hasn’t exhibited this kind of behavior in months.

Parents and caregivers can help their children through periods of regression by being reassuring and supportive. Regression is a way for children to express their feelings about their development, so caregivers shouldn’t ignore their behavior. However, they should set limits by suggesting alternative ways of coping.

For example, if a child has a temper tantrum every time he’s dropped off at school, a caregiver might remind him of the fun he had last time he went and reassure him that they will be there to pick him up as soon as the school day is over.

While regression throughout childhood is normal and usually brief, if it lasts longer than a few weeks, there might be cause for concern. If a single instance of regression continues beyond two to three weeks, it could be worth checking in with the child’s doctor to make sure something else isn’t going on that’s holding back their developmental progress.

Regression in Adults

Like children, adults sometimes regress, often as a temporary response to a traumatic or anxiety-provoking situation. For example, a person stuck in traffic may experience road rage, the kind of tantrum they’d never have in their everyday life but helps them cope with the stress of driving.

Similarly, a college freshman who is about to take their first test may stay up all night video chatting with their best friend as they did in high school as a way to calm their nerves. In these instances, the individual is regressing to a stage in their development when they felt safer and more secure, or when a caregiver could rescue them from their insecurities.

Studies have shown that regression generally decreases throughout adulthood. A longitudinal study with European-Americans showed that between adolescence and the age of 65, use of the defense mechanism of regression decreased. However, after 65, regression increased, which the researchers attributed to the challenges of maintaining adaptive coping strategies in older adulthood.

Similarly, a cross-sectional study comparing younger, primarily White adults with the average age of about 20 years old and older, primarily White adults with the average age of about 71 years old found that the younger adults tended to use regression more than older adults. The researchers speculated that this difference may be the result of immature regressive behaviors being more acceptable for younger adults while seeming maladaptive and pathological in older adults.

How to Overcome Regression 

While regression is often a temporary response to stress that won’t lead to larger issues, in many cases the individual may be unaware their behavior is regressive, even though to the outside observer the immaturity of their actions may be quite obvious.

Often telling an adult that their behavior is uncharacteristically childish or age-inappropriate will enable them to recognize what they’re doing and determine how to respond to whatever is causing them distress in a more productive way.

Regression may also be a sign of major physical or psychological problems like catatonia, delirium, psychotic disorders, major depressive disorder, borderline personality disorder, dissociative disorders, dementia, or substance abuse disorders.

If there’s a concern that a person’s regression is the sign of a larger difficulty, a medical doctor or mental health professional should be consulted. They will diagnose the issue and work with the patient or their loved ones to come up with a plan to manage it. Regression is a symptom of these issues, so the goal would be to treat the underlying disorder, naturally leading to the individual exhibiting less or even completely overcoming regression.

Do you ever wonder, “Why does my girlfriend hate me?” It can be confusing to doubt your partner’s feelings for you, especially when you might be head over heels in love with them.

When you’re in love with a person, the signs are hard to miss. You start to experience butterflies at the mention of their name, the thought of spending time together is enough to make your day, and even your brain goes through different chemical changes in response.  

But just as the feelings of love can be clear to see, unrequited love can be an obvious and painful thing to experience. While you’re in a relationship with a person you love, coming to the realization that they may not share the same feelings can be incredibly hard to deal with.

Relationships can be complicated. In this guide, we’ll be looking at changes that can signal your girlfriend’s changing feelings towards you. To help you possibly mend your relationship, we’ll also break down steps you can take to improve your connection with your partner.

Signs That Your Girlfriend Dislikes You

It’s hard to watch when your significant other switches from the person you once shared hopes, dinners, and bad jokes with—to a person that may have turned off all romantic feelings towards you.

There are different ways to determine if your girlfriend hates you. Possible reasons are discussed below.

Her Body Language Seems Off

If you’re questioning your girlfriend’s feelings towards you, your doubts may not be linked to anything she does or says. Instead, the way her body reacts around you could be a dead giveaway of her disinterest in you and the relationship.

These feelings can also manifest in smaller instances where she rolls her eyes during conversations, pulls away when you attempt to hold hands in public, or otherwise maintains a look of contempt around you.

You Notice You’re Spending Less Time Together

In the early stages of a relationship, it’s fairly normal to aspire to spend every waking moment and toilet break with your partner. While this eventually lessens over time, there is a level of distance between you and your partner that can set warning bells ringing.

If your girlfriend is constantly making up excuses for why she can’t meet up, or if her Instagram stories are filled with fun times you weren’t invited to (or even aware of), this could mean that she’s making an active decision to spend time apart from you.

Your Communication Feels Strained

This can play out in different ways. On one hand, you may speak frequently with your girlfriend throughout the day, engaging in surface conversations about the weather, what was had for lunch, and plans for after work.

On the other hand, communication may become few and far between. For example, each day you might feel uncertain about whether you will hear from your girlfriend or if she will return your call.

There Is Less Physical Intimacy

If sex is no longer on the table in your relationship, or if intimate moments have started to feel distant, this can be a sign that your girlfriend isn’t interested in growing your relationship any further.

However, one partner losing interest in sex shouldn’t always be interpreted as a sign of trouble. It could simply mean that your partner is experiencing stress or other conditions that are affecting their desire for sex. It might also mean that your partner feels as though the quality of sex has declined.

You’re Always Fighting

When your girlfriend always finds a reason to get upset at something you did/didn’t do, if you’re constantly bickering, or if you can’t seem to do anything right in her eyes, this is never a good sign for a relationship.

Reasons Your Girlfriend Might Hate You

There are different reasons why your girlfriend might appear to hate you. Her actions or distance could be in reaction to stress she’s facing at work, or in other areas of her life.

In other cases, your girlfriend’s changed behavior may reveal a struggle to communicate displeasure with something you may have done.

A few reasons you might consider include:

She’s Struggling With a Mental Health Problem

In some cases, it may have less to do with you and more about how she is feeling. Mental disorders like anxiety or depression can cause people to lose interest or feel disconnected from the things they used to love and enjoy.

Mental health problems can also interfere with relationships and communication, which might explain why you feel like your girlfriend hates you.

She’s Dealing With Stress

Your girlfriend might also be dealing with stress in other areas of her life, such as finances, work, family relationships, or health problems. This can lead to behaviors you might interpret as dislike, anger, or hate.

You’re Growing Apart

Sometimes, couples drift apart over time. This can happen when you get so busy with other things, such as work and family, that you don’t have time to really connect and communicate. 

You’re in a One-Sided Relationship

Sometimes, feeling like your partner doesn’t really care about you might be a sign of a one-sided relationship. In this type of relationship, you do the majority of the work, including reaching out to communicate, making plans, and other things that keep the relationship going.

She’s Unhappy With the Relationship

Unresolved conflict and other issues can also cause your girlfriend to act as if she dislikes or hates you. For example, problems with mistrust caused by past infidelity might be an issue. It might also be a sign that she is bored in the relationship.

Or maybe she feels like you are not treating her right or carrying your own weight in the relationship. She might feel like you don’t prioritize the relationship, that you don’t listen, or that you are too controlling.

How to Fix Things With Your Girlfriend

Regardless of the source of your girlfriend’s behavior towards you, there are different approaches that may help improve the connection in the relationship. These tips are listed below.

Do Some Self-Reflection

When attempting to fix things in your relationship, a good place to begin is with yourself. Have you repeatedly ignored her complaints about a matter?

Perhaps your girlfriend misses some of the efforts you put in at the start of your relationship—whatever the case, a little introspection can reveal the reason behind your girlfriend’s annoyance with you, and may provide an easy guide to fixing things.

Speak to Your Girlfriend About the Changes You’ve Noticed

A problem shared is half-solved, especially when you’re uncertain about the cause of the changes. 

Speaking honestly to your girlfriend about how the shift in her behavior has affected you and the future of your relationship, can be an important step to resolve whatever might be the matter.

This honest conversation will also give room for her to share any grievances she might have towards you and will provide a healthy avenue to work toward fixing the issues at hand. By adopting a policy of honest communication, there is a chance to strengthen your relationship in the long run. 

Attend Counseling Together

To help with navigating the obvious, and not-so-obvious challenges in your relationship, it’s advisable to visit a relationship counselor for expert guidance.

Focus on Yourself

While it is admirable to make every effort to improve your relationship, sometimes, knowing when to end a relationship might be the best thing for you and your partner.

In such cases, it is important to prioritize your happiness and welfare to prepare for the next happier, healthier relationship.

Medication is typically one of the go-to approaches for adults and children dealing with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. However, for those who want extra support or don’t want to take medication, ADHD therapies can help manage their condition.

Whether you’re looking for concrete steps to take and skills to learn or more insight-oriented therapy to learn how some of your habits affect your life and relationships, there is a type of therapy for you.

Types of ADHD

There are three main types of ADHD, though treatment for them all largely looks similar:

• ADHD, combined type: This type, the most common, is a mixture of impulsive and hyperactive behaviors with inattention and distractibility.
• ADHD, impulsive/hyperactive type: The least common form of ADHD, this type is characterized by impulsive and hyperactive behaviors with no inattention or distractibility.
• ADHD, inattentive and distractible type: Symptoms of this type generally include inattention and distractibility, without hyperactivity. 

Types of Therapy for ADHD

There are many different kinds of therapy for ADHD, though some of the methods may vary between children and adults. Types of therapy used to treat ADHD range from dialectical behavioral therapy to mindfulness-based cognitive therapy.

Treatment for adults with ADHD will look a little different than treatment for children with ADHD. Children’s therapy for ADHD may involve teachers, parents, or both.

Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy for ADHD

Cognitive-behavioral therapy is generally considered the gold standard for ADHD psychotherapy. While “regular” CBT can be helpful for ADHD, there are also specific types of CBT for ADHD.

This can help with improving daily life struggles such as procrastinating, time management struggles, and poor planning. CBT helps people find new coping strategies and the emotions and behaviors that interfere with implementing strategies. 

The CBT for ADHD model is organized around three core modules and two optional ones:

Optional:

Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy

Research has shown that this type of therapy may be helpful because of how meditation and mindfulness affect the brain and neuropsychiatry.

Some benefits may include: 

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy

Dialectical behavioral therapy is another form of therapy often used for people with ADHD.This type of therapy is focused on teaching people skills to deal with their ADHD through the following modules:

Its efficacy is proven by the fact that the control patients on a waiting list tended to have worsening troubles with attention and hyperactivity while waiting for treatment. Those receiving the treatment fared better, as measured by the State-Trait Anger Expression Inventory (STAXI), which assesses emotional regulation and impulse control.

ADHD Coaching

While it is technically not psychotherapy, ADHD coaching is gaining popularity as a way of managing symptoms and quality of life for people with ADHD. Though there is no standardized protocol, this type of coaching usually includes goal-setting and homework, discussing successes and roadblocks, and problem-solving.

Coaches use text messages, emails, or phone call reminders to help clients meet their goals. People are often encouraged to use self-rewards or rewards from the coach or others.

Supportive Psychotherapy

Supportive therapy is a form of therapy that helps clients optimize the coping skills that they already have so that these strategies can be used to reduce distress and manage symptoms such as time management and organization.

Interpersonal Therapy

Interpersonal therapy is typically employed to address issues that may have developed between a client and others due to misunderstandings from their ADHD symptoms, such as if their forgetfulness or procrastination are affecting those in their lives.

One key feature of this type of therapy is that the therapist may use it to help the client see the difference between their inner experience and how their behaviors affect others.

Group Therapy 

Group therapy can be a helpful way for people with ADHD to learn from other people dealing with similar types of challenges and how they have dealt with or have overcome them.

A specific type of group therapy for ADHD-I (Inattentive Type) called CBT for ADHD-I teaches group members planning, how to start activities and end activities, lifestyle changes, and how to troubleshoot where they have issues in these areas.

It combines applying the techniques in the in-person sessions and homework outside of the groups. Mindfulness meditation is also practiced to help group members reduce stress and improve attention regulation. 

Narrative Therapy

Narrative therapy has been found to be helpful in people with ADHD to help reduce the self-stigma they may experience. Many people with ADHD tell themselves that they are lazy and underachieving, leading them to wonder what the purpose of trying is and thus becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy.

This type of therapy can also help people identify the “sparkling moments” when things are different from the stories they tell themselves so that they can see their strengths rather than their challenges.

One study of school-aged girls who participated in narrative group therapy found improvement in their school performance following the therapy because they identified and replaced negative self-beliefs. Narrative therapy also increased their ability to see that they could find their own solutions to problems (as age-appropriate).

ADHD Therapy for Children

For children with ADHD, typically there are two major ways that therapy is delivered: by parents and by teachers; each for different reasons. Both methods are collaborative, with parents and teachers working together, regardless of which one is leading it.

In parent-delivered behavioral therapies, parents will be taught:

• How to discipline their child consistently and appropriately for their condition
• How to implement structure
• How to introduce positive reinforcement
• Positive ways to interact with their child 

In teacher-delivered behavioral therapies, teachers learn similar strategies: how to teach children with ADHD to address their challenges, how to help them with time management and organization, and how to help them overcome emotional and behavioral challenges.