Definition, Symptoms, Causes, Diagnosis, and Coping

Key Takeaways

  • Holiday depression can make you feel sad and stressed during the winter holidays.
  • Exercise and socializing can help reduce feelings of holiday depression.
  • If your feelings don’t improve after the holidays, talk to a doctor.

For some people, the winter holidays can be a painful period of reflection, loneliness, anxiety, and depression. This pervasive sadness is known informally as holiday blues or holiday depression.

Who Gets the Holiday Blues?

Anyone—even those who love the season—can experience the holiday blues. The season’s demands, gatherings, decorations, and other stressors leave many people stressed and exhausted. Add to this the sometimes emotional aspect of special days, and it’s a recipe for the doldrums.

People with a prior mental health condition may be particularly prone to holiday depression. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), 64% of people with an existing mental illness report that the holidays make their condition worse.

Signs & Symptoms

The most common symptom of holiday depression is a persistent or recurring feeling of sadness that begins during the holiday season. It can vary in intensity and duration. Some people might feel down periodically but experience brief periods of relief. 

Signs of holiday depression include:

  • Changes in appetite or weight
  • Changes in sleep patterns
  • Depressed or irritable mood
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
  • Feeling more tired than usual
  • Feeling tense, worried, or anxious
  • Loss of pleasure in doing things you used to enjoy

Holiday Depression vs. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

Holiday depression and SAD can be difficult to distinguish from one another, but the duration and severity of symptoms are usually the best clues.

SAD

  • Typically lasts about 40% of the year—starting in the late fall and early winter until the spring and summer.

  • Often more severe and can be debilitating

If the holiday season passes and you’re still feeling depressed or anxious, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional to determine if what you are experiencing is a more significant mood disorder.

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Diagnosing the Holiday Blues

Although the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) doesn’t formally recognize the holiday blues as a psychiatric condition, you should talk with your healthcare provider about your symptoms. During your appointment, they will ask questions about your symptoms, including the duration and severity. 

Causes of the Holiday Blues

People might experience holiday depression for many reasons, such as:

  • Lack of sleep. A hectic holiday schedule can lead to a lack of sleep, which increases stress.
  • Excess eating and alcohol use. People sometimes turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms to handle holiday sadness and stress. Excessive drinking and overeating can make the symptoms of holiday depression even more pronounced.
  • Financial stress. Overextending yourself financially or struggling to afford gifts for family and friends can create an added burden of financial stress.
  • Isolation and loneliness. Being unable to spend the holidays with your family and friends can make the holiday season seem especially lonely.
  • Unrealistic expectations. The commercialization of the holidays can create the expectation of nonstop joy and holiday cheer, which can lead to holiday stress and sadness.

Because the holidays mark an impending new year, people tend to reflect on the past year. They might feel regret, failure, or other negative emotions.

Seasonal sadness can affect kids, too. Dealing with different routines, family gatherings, travel, high expectations, and other holiday happenings can contribute to feelings of sadness and depression in kids. Watch for the signs and talk to your child’s pediatrician if you are concerned.

Treatment for the Holiday Blues

Unless your healthcare provider has diagnosed you with major depression or another condition, they probably won’t prescribe medications to treat your holiday depression symptoms. In many cases, holiday depression can be managed with lifestyle changes and social support. Your doctor may refer you to a mental health professional for psychotherapy.

Though the holiday blues are usually short-term, talking to a mental health professional can help. Your therapist can help you identify patterns of negative thinking that contribute to sadness and depression, replacing those thoughts with more helpful ones. This approach is known as cognitive behavioral therapy. Therapy can also help you develop better stress management, communication, and relationship skills that can be helpful in both the short and long term.

Coping With the Holiday Blues

In addition to talking to your healthcare provider, try these strategies to deal with the holidays.

Drink Only in Moderation

Alcohol is a depressant, and drinking too much can exacerbate negative feelings. You don’t need to go cold turkey. Instead, limit your consumption and don’t use alcohol to deal with or avoid difficult emotions. If you choose to drink, limit yourself to one or two alcoholic drinks at social functions.

Don’t Isolate Yourself

Social isolation can be a major risk factor for depression—and depression typically makes social interaction difficult. Particularly if you’re on your own, reaching out and finding social support can be all the more difficult.

Look for ways to enjoy social connections, even if you can’t go home for the holidays. If you’re feeling lonely, ask a friend to come over for a heart-to-heart. Join a local club, volunteer for something you believe in, or see a counselor for support.

Exercise Regularly

Regular physical activity can play an important role in preventing and reducing symptoms of depression.  So, although hitting the gym can be tough when you feel stressed, busy, and sad, remember that you don’t need to glue yourself to the treadmill or weight machine to feel the benefits. Even a casual activity such as a short walk each day might be enough to keep the holiday blues at bay.

Learn to Say ‘No’

The holidays often mean more people asking for help and making demands on your time and resources. Holiday invites can turn into stressful social obligations. Small favors can morph into huge projects that you didn’t anticipate. Avoid overcommitting by knowing your limits and learning how to say “no.”

Find Time for Yourself

Make sure that you leave enough time for yourself to relax. Even 15 to 20 minutes a day to enjoy some quiet time, read a book, listen to music, take a bath, do yoga, or some other relaxing activity can do wonders for your stress levels.

Set Realistic Expectations

It’s fine to be excited about the holidays and make plans for the things you want to do. But it is also important to keep your expectations realistic and reachable.

Holidays change just as people change. Kids grow older, people move, and new people will become a part of your life. The key is to focus on those connections, create new traditions, and remember past holidays with fondness while still enjoying the one right in front of you. Focus on enjoying the experience and the time you get to spend with your loved ones rather than on achieving a picture-perfect end result.

The holidays don’t have to be perfect to be special. They don’t have to be exactly like the holidays of the past to be just as meaningful and memorable.

How to Get Help

If the holiday blues don’t lift after the holidays or if they’ve begun interfering with your well-being and ability to function, talk to your doctor or mental health professional. They will help diagnose your signs and symptoms and discuss treatment options, including psychotherapy and medications.

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
  1. National Alliance on Mental Illness. Mental health and the holiday blues.

  2. National Alliance on Mental Illness. Tips for managing the holiday blues.

  3. Naito, R., McKee, M., Leong, D., Bangdiwala, S., Rangarajan, S., Islam, S., & Yusuf, S. (2023). Social isolation as a risk factor for all-cause mortality: Systematic review and meta-analysis of cohort studies. PLOS ONE, 18(1), e0280308. DOI:10.1371/journal.pone.0280308

  4. Harvey SB, Overland S, Hatch SL, Wessely S, Mykeltun A, Hotopf M. Exercise and the prevention of depression: Results of the HUNT cohort study. The American Journal of Psychiatry. 2018;175(1):28-36. doi:10.1176/appi.ajp.2017.16111223.

  5. Blumenthal, J. A., & Rozanski, A. (2023). Exercise as a therapeutic modality for the prevention and treatment of depression. Progress in Cardiovascular Diseases, 77, 50-58. doi:10.1016/j.pcad.2023.02.008

Kendra Cherry

By Kendra Cherry, MSEd

Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the “Everything Psychology Book.”


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Kendra Cherry

Definition, Types, Examples, and Effects

Key Takeaways

  • Persuasion is when someone tries to change your beliefs or actions without forcing you.
  • Recognizing persuasive techniques, like scarcity and authority, can help you respond better.
  • Using confidence in your tone of voice makes you more persuasive.

What Is Persuasion?

Persuasion is a process in which one person or entity tries to influence another person or group of people to change their beliefs or behaviors. It is distinct from coercion, in that the people receiving the message have a choice about whether to act on it. (“Coercive persuasion” refers to indoctrination or brainwashing, such as may occur in a cult.)

Persuasion can be a powerful force that affects the decisions and actions that people take. Persuasive messages are symbolic (using words, images, and sounds) and may be transmitted verbally or nonverbally, via media or face-to-face communication. Persuasion may be overt or subtle. Understanding how it works can help you become more aware of how you are influenced by persuasive messages.

6 Principles of Persuasion

Psychologists recognize six characteristics of persuasion, originally identified by Robert Cialdini, PhD, in 1984. These principles describe what makes persuasive messages influential and successful. Some persuasive efforts may use several of these tactics simultaneously.

Reciprocity

As humans, we tend to want to repay others when they have done something for us. You might easily persuade a friend to do a favor for you if you have already done one for them. In a business context, reciprocity could mean being willing to provide your email address in order to receive a discount on your purchase.

Scarcity

You might be persuaded to change your behavior if you are convinced that you will lose access to something, or that there isn’t enough of it to go around. You can see this principle in action when an airline alerts you that there are only a few seats left on a flight you’re considering, or a retailer advertises a limited-time sale.

Authority

If you believe that a person or other entity has expert knowledge, you may be more likely to be persuaded by their message. An advertiser or political candidate might use an authority figure, such as a physician, historian, or scientist, to support their argument.

Consistency or Commitment

People have a tendency to continue their previous behavior or stick with a decision they have made. In an interview, Cialdini gave an example of this involving a restaurant that struggled with no-shows.

When a patron made a reservation, if the receptionist asked them to call if they needed to cancel (and got an affirmative reply), they were much less likely to miss their reservation. The patrons were effectively making a promise, and were committed to keeping it.

Social Proof

This is the “safety in numbers” principle. If we see that our friends or peers have made a purchase, supported a political candidate, or otherwise agreed with a persuasive message, we may be more likely to agree with it too.

Liking

If you know and like the person (or even business, political party, or government agency) trying to persuade you of something, you will be more inclined to agree with their argument. This is similar to the “social proof” principle, but is more about the quality of the relationship, where social proof is about quantity.

Signs of Persuasion

Political campaigns, mass media, social media, and advertising all use the power of persuasion to influence us. Sometimes we like to believe that we are immune to persuasion, that we can see through the sales pitch, comprehend the truth in a situation, and come to conclusions all on our own.

This might be true in some scenarios, when an attempt at persuasion is clear: You know that a salesperson’s job is to sell you something, and that a campaign ad is designed to persuade you to vote for a candidate. A social media influencer’s sponsored content may be clearly labeled as such.

But persuasive messages can also be subtle. Look for elements of the six principles of persuasion to identify an attempt to persuade you. This might mean phrases such as “limited availability” (scarcity), “doctors say” (authority), or “customers agree” (social proof),

Uses

Advertisements that urge viewers to buy a particular product are a form of persuasion. So are political debates, where candidates try to sway voters to their side. Persuasion is a powerful force in daily life and has a major influence on society and a whole.

Negative examples of persuasion often come to mind—as in an ad trying to get you to buy something you don’t need, peer pressure that causes you to make a poor decision, or even deliberate misinformation. But persuasion can also be used in a positive way: Think of public service or health campaigns that urge people to recycle, quit smoking, or practice social distancing to help protect themselves and their community.

How to Respond to Persuasion

Being informed about persuasion and persuasive techniques can help you recognize persuasion and respond to it. It can also help you use it to influence the behavior of others.

Evaluate Information Carefully

When you are trying to make a decision (about something big, like who to vote for, or small, like what movie to watch), gather information to help you make a wise choice. But be thoughtful and even skeptical about that information. Who is providing it, and what is their motivation? Do they stand to gain in some way from your choice? Be sure you trust your sources.

Learn How to Resist Persuasion

Being aware of persuasive techniques and of the trustworthiness of information used to make choices can help you resist persuasion. It’s also important to be willing to change your mind. Feeling burdened by sunk costs—or the perception that you’ve already invested too much in a decision to be able to back out—could lead you to be persuaded to go against your better judgment.

People who are impulsive may be more susceptible to persuasion than others. Similarly, people who lack self-control also tend to be susceptible to persuasion. So taking steps to improve your self-control can help you resist persuasion.

Know How to Use Persuasion

You can use your knowledge of persuasion to convince others to align with your point of view. For example, if you want your partner to visit a new restaurant with you, you could remind them that a friend whose opinion they trust recommended the place (liking), that it has dozens of positive reviews from other diners (social proof), or that they chose the restaurant last time (reciprocity).

Your knowledge and understanding of your audience (in this case, your partner) can help you decide which persuasive techniques will be most effective. For instance, maybe your partner doesn’t care about what other diners think, but they do hate to miss out on something unusual. In that case, you might try a scarcity tactic: “This specialty dish is only available on Sundays, and only to the first ten diners.”

Research shows that projecting confidence via your tone of voice makes you more persuasive. Even if you don’t feel confident in your argument, sounding as if you do helps you succeed.

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
  1. Perloff RM. The Dynamics of Persuasion: Communication and Attitudes in the 21st Century. Taylor & Francis.

  2. APA Dictionary of Psychology. Coercive persuasion. American Psychological Association.

  3. Alslaity A, Tran T. Users’ responsiveness to persuasive techniques in recommender systems. Front Artif Intell. 2021;4:679459. doi:10.3389/frai.2021.679459

  4. Modic D, Anderson R, Palomäki J. We will make you like our research: The development of a susceptibility-to-persuasion scale. Braunstein LA, ed. PLoS ONE. 2018;13(3):e0194119. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0194119

  5. Guyer JJ, Fabrigar LR, Vaughan-Johnston TI. Speech rate, intonation, and pitch: investigating the bias and cue effects of vocal confidence on persuasion. Pers Soc Psychol Bull. 2019;45(3):389-405. doi:10.1177/0146167218787805

Kendra Cherry

By Kendra Cherry, MSEd

Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the “Everything Psychology Book.”


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What to Know About Coming Out of a Manic Episode

Key Takeaways

  • A manic episode can last between three and six months without treatment, but effective treatment may shorten it to under three months.
  • When a manic episode ends, you may feel tired and more clear-headed, but could also experience low moods or depression.
  • Get help from your healthcare provider to adjust medication or offer support as needed.

A manic episode occurs when a person who has bipolar disorder feels extremely active and energetic, often beyond their control, says Aimee Daramus, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist and author of “Understanding Bipolar Disorder.”

These are some of the characteristics of a manic episode:

  • Feeling either euphorically happy or irritable and disagreeable
  • Having a high level of energy and being very active, to the point of feeling wired and doing multiple things at a time
  • Having racing thoughts and ideas that are difficult to pin down
  • Not needing much sleep and feeling energetic, despite not having slept much in days
  • Talking a lot more than usual and very fast, making it difficult for others to keep up
  • Behaving impulsively and recklessly. According to Dr. Daramus, this could involve partying too hard, spending too much money, driving too fast, making risky investments, behaving aggressively, or taking on ambitious or unrealistic new projects
  • Having an increased appetite for food, alcohol, and other pleasures
  • Having beliefs of grandiosity and feeling exceptionally confident, talented, powerful, important, and invincible
  • Developing obsessions and pursuing them relentlessly, no matter how unviable they are
  • Experiencing symptoms of psychosis such as hallucinations and delusions, and being unable to distinguish between what’s real and what isn’t
  • Displaying restless behaviors, such as fidgeting and pacing
  • Becoming a danger to yourself or the people around you

According to a 2021 study, manic episodes last approximately 3.5 months on average. For people who are not receiving treatment, a manic episode can last between three and six months. With effective treatment, the episode may end in under three months. 

“Sometimes, if it’s caught early, a change in medication can stop a manic episode. If that doesn’t work, you just have to ride it out,” says Dr. Daramus.

Signs a Manic Episode Is Ending

These are some signs that a manic episode is ending, according to Dr. Daramus:

  • Slowing down and feeling less urgent and pressured all the time
  • Feeling more tired and getting more sleep
  • Being able to think more clearly, even if your memories of the manic episode are fuzzy
  • Making fewer impulsive decisions
  • Feeling overwhelmed by all the projects you’ve taken on
  • Feeling embarrassed about the way you behaved during the manic episode
  • Feeling low and depressed

Aimee Daramus, PsyD

The end of a manic episode can be painful if you have to face the consequences of things you did during mania. It can be rough if your actions during mania have hurt your relationships or finances, or if you did something impulsive or illegal.

— Aimee Daramus, PsyD

What Happens When a Manic Episode Ends

When a manic episode ends, you may be able to return to normal functioning, or you may experience a depressive episode, characterized by the following symptoms:

  • Feeling low, sad, or anxious
  • Feeling lethargic and slow
  • Having difficulty making decisions
  • Not being able to focus or remember things
  • Sleeping too much or having an irregular sleep pattern
  • Speaking slowly or feeling like there’s not much to say
  • Losing interest in work, relationships, and activities
  • Struggling with basic day-to-day activities
  • Feeling hopeless and inadequate
  • Having thoughts about death or suicide

Some people have irregular and unpredictable episodes of mania and depression, whereas others have a more regular pattern of mania followed by depression, or vice versa. People with bipolar disorder may cycle between these episodes slowly or rapidly, with or without a break period of normal functioning in between.

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We’ve tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of the best online therapy programs, including Brightside, which treats bipolar disorder. Find out which option is the best for you.

Coping With the End of a Manic Episode

These are some strategies that can be helpful as you’re coming out of a manic episode:

  • See your healthcare provider: Dr. Daramus recommends seeing your healthcare provider immediately as they can prescribe medication or adjust the medication you’re taking. Your healthcare provider can also provide therapy and support as you deal with the aftermath of the manic episode or start experiencing a depressive episode.
  • Take your medication consistently: Medication may be able to reduce the symptoms of mania, end the manic episode faster, help you regain normal functioning, prevent a depressive episode, and stabilize your mood. It’s important to take your medication regularly, exactly as prescribed by your healthcare provider. Inform your healthcare provider if you experience any side effects. Don’t stop taking the medication without discussing it with them, even if you’re feeling better.
  • Opt for calming environments: Stimulating places and activities can trigger mania and prolong it. Avoid busy, loud, or brightly decorated places and opt for more relaxing and soothing places and activities instead.
  • Build a healthy routine: It can sometimes be difficult to maintain a healthy routine when you’re in the midst of a manic episode—you might not sleep or get very little sleep for days at a time, according to Dr. Daramus. As the episode comes to an end, it can be helpful to start rebuilding your routine by maintaining consistent bedtimes and mealtimes and exercising regularly.
  • Seek social support: Connect with friends and family members and let them know how you’re feeling and how they can help. You may have to repair some relationships that were damaged during the manic episode.
  • Note down your symptoms: Maintain a journal in which you note down your mood and symptoms every day. This can help your healthcare provider better understand your condition and track any patterns in your episodes.
  • Avoid substances: Avoid using substances such as alcohol, cannabis, or drugs, as they can interfere with medication and worsen the symptoms of bipolar disorder.

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As a manic episode ends, you’ll start to feel less frenzied, be able to think more clearly, and get more sleep. You may have to face unpleasant consequences of your actions during the episode.

Therapy, medication, and social support are important factors that can help you cope with the end of a manic episode. They can help you resume normal functioning and potentially prevent further manic or depressive episodes.

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By Sanjana Gupta

Sanjana is a health writer and editor. Her work spans various health-related topics, including mental health, fitness, nutrition, and wellness.


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How To Use Color Analysis To Look and Feel Your Best

Key Takeaways

  • Color analysis helps identify the clothing and makeup shades that best complement your skin, hair, and eye color.
  • Understanding your contrast level and skin undertone can help you choose colors that enhance your complexion.
  • Wearing colors that flatter your natural tones may boost confidence, improve mood, and enhance personal appearance.

Color analysis has been a staple for stylists and makeup artists for decades. Rooted in color theory, it can help you make more informed decisions about your wardrobe to enhance your overall appearance and develop more conscious shopping habits. 

What Is Color Analysis?

Introduced by fashion designer and color theorist Suzanne Caygill in the 1940s, color analysis involves assessing an individual’s coloration to identify their most flattering color palette.

According to Caygill, people could be classified into four color seasons based on their characteristics, such as skin tone and eye and hair color. These are further broken down into numerous subcategories within each primary season (summer, winter, autumn, and spring) to accommodate an individual’s unique traits. 

Years later, color consultant Carole Jackson proposed a simpler color analysis scheme in her book “Color Me Beautiful,” which spurred the concept’s explosive popularity in the 1980s. 

Color analysis is to style what scent profile is to fragrance—it can help add depth and personality to your overall aesthetic. 

Color analysis identifies the colors that complement and harmonize your natural palette, which includes skin, hair, and eye color, says fashion designer and stylist, Catherine Bibeau. Choosing the right colors can enhance your overall appearance by making your natural features pop.

This can help you streamline your wardrobe and shop more consciously, says Yenia Hernández Fonseca, stylist and fashion contributor at Margo Paige. 

How Does Color Analysis Work?

Color analysis has its roots in traditional color theory, which can be traced back to the 18th century when Isaac Newton discovered the color spectrum and subsequently developed the first color wheel.

Color theory is the understanding of how colors interact with each other and how they can be combined to create different effects, says professional makeup artist, Brandy Allen.

“Color analysis and color theory are deeply intertwined. The difference is that color theory explores the relationship between colors and how they can be combined while color analysis applies these principles in practical scenarios,” explains Bree Steele, interior designer and trade manager at RJ Living. 

Typically, your best colors are determined by evaluating the three dimensions of color—hue (warm or cool), value (light or dark), and chroma (muted or bright), says Fonseca. 

How To Determine Your Undertone

Assessing skin undertone is the first step in color analysis. According to Fonseca, skin undertones can be categorized into:

  • Warm (yellow or peach hues)
  • Cool (blue or pink hues)
  • Neutral (a mix of both warm and cool undertones)

Understanding your skin undertone can help you choose the best color palettes that play up your complexion. “Without the knowledge of your undertone, you may look washed out or too warm,” says Steve Kassajikian, head of global artistry at Urban Decay. 

Color analysis and color theory are deeply intertwined. The difference is that color theory explores the relationship between colors and how they can be combined while color analysis applies these principles in practical scenarios.

—
BREE STEELE, INTERIOR DESIGNER AND TRADE MANAGER AT RJ LIVING

Cool undertones look best in blush or ruby-hued tones, while warm undertones look great in earthy tones like amber or copper. Neutral tones like brown or gray and bold colors like blue or teal look best on neutral undertones, Kassajikian adds.

Tip

An easy way to figure out your undertone is to check how your skin reacts to sun exposure. If you tend to burn easily, you are most likely a cooler undertone. If you burn then tan, you likely have a neutral undertone. And if you just tan easily, you are most likely a warmer undertone, suggests Kassajikian. 

Assessing Your Contrast Levels

Contrast can be a powerful tool to achieve balance. “Value contrast levels look at the difference between your lightest and darkest features, especially between your eyes, hair color, and skin tone,” Fonseca explains. 

High contrast occurs when there’s a big difference between the lightest and darkest values, says Fonseca. For example, fair skin, deep blue eyes, and dark hair. Low contrast, on the other hand, shows little to no difference in your color values, adds Fonseca. 

To know your contrast level, Fonseca suggests taking a selfie under natural light and changing the settings to grayscale. The monotone picture will help you determine the level of contrast between your hair, eyes, and skin, she explains. 

Tip

Wearing outfits that mirror your personal contrast levels ensures you look vibrant rather than dull or overpowered.

How To Identify Your Color Season

Seasonal color analysis is the most widely recognized among all color analysis techniques. According to this method, people can be typed into four seasons—summer, spring, autumn, and winter—based on their coloration.

“These categories reflect cool and warm undertones, and high and low contrast, to identify which color zones may be washing you out and which colors create a more radiant look,” says Bibeau. 

  • Spring seasons typically have warm undertones and low contrast, perfect for highlighting lighter hair and eyes. “They may still work for those with dark features, but there isn’t a lot of contrast,” Bibeau points out. 
  • Summer seasons are best for those with cool undertones and lighter hair and eye colors. “Although they exhibit some contrast between their skin tone and hair and eyes, it is much more moderate compared to the winter seasons,” she says.
  • Autumn seasons typically suit those with warm undertones and dark hair and eyes, creating a soft blend among these features. 
  • Winter seasons have cool undertones, dark hair, vibrant eyes, and high contrast between their skin, eyes, and hair, adds Bibeau. 

To determine your color season, Fonseca suggests testing different color swatches next to your face under natural light.

Look for colors that remove redness from your skin, brighten your eyes, or create the perfect hair color contrast, recommends Bibeau. 

The Benefits of Dressing in Your Color Season

Dressing in your color scheme can significantly spruce up your look. Research shows that “improving physical attractiveness” leads to better interpersonal interactions and a corresponding boost in self-esteem.

Some research has found that how you dress not only reflects but also affects your mood. Thus, wearing colors that make you look and feel good may positively impact your mood. Another study found that dressing your best (something color analysis can help you with) can improve productivity.

Different Approaches to Color Analysis

There are various methods of color analysis, including:

  • Seasonal color analysis: This involves categorizing an individual into one of 12 subgroups across the four main seasons. In a professional consultation, a color analyst will drape fabric swatches over your shoulders to see how different colors interact with your features. You can also analyze yourself at home using color swatches in front of a mirror in natural light. 
  • Tonal color analysis: This method classifies individuals into one of the six tonal color groups—warm, cool, light, clear, soft, and deep—based on their dominant, secondary, and tertiary color characteristics. 
  • Thematic color analysis: This technique looks at a theme or particular inspiration and picks colors based on that, says Steele. 

Online color analysis tools like apps and websites that offer virtual try-ons may not be as accurate as professional color analysis. Still, they can be a good option if you only want to dip your toes in the trend. 

Tips for Conducting Color Analysis at Home

Here are a few key things to keep in mind:

Do

  • Use natural light for accurate assessment

  • Wear white or a light shade

  • Try different color combinations

  • Consider your eye and hair color

  • Experiment with different textures and materials

  • Trust your instincts

How To Apply Color Analysis in Fashion and Makeup

When you try an outfit, see how it affects your coloring. Does it make your complexion look vibrant or washed out? Does it make your eyes look bright or flat? 

Choose outfits with undertones similar to your skin for a flattering ensemble.

If a color creates shadows or reflections on your face, it likely doesn’t complement your complexion.

People with high contrasts, like light skin and dark hair, can pull off strong contrasts, such as black and white. Those with little color contrast should avoid intense hues, strong contrasts, and neutral tones that closely match their contrast levels.

When it comes to makeup, having a strong understanding of how colors interact with one another can enhance your features and bring the whole look together, says Kassajikian. 

Allen suggests paying attention to your outfit, hair color, and eye color and then choosing makeup shades that either complement those elements or flow next to those colors on the color wheel. 

For accessorizing, those with warm undertones can’t go wrong with yellow gold or rose gold. Silver, platinum, and white gold complement cool undertones. Meanwhile, those with neutral undertones can experiment with both silver and gold accessories. 

Frequently Asked Questions

  • Can your color season change?

    “Your color season can change throughout the year,” says Bibeau. For example, if you get a tan or change your hair color, you could potentially place yourself in a different category. 

  • Can color analysis help with interior design?

    Color analysis in interior design takes into account psychological, cultural, and visual effects of colors to create spaces that are similar to the mood and function you want, says Steele. 

    For example, blues and greens infuse a sense of calm, making them perfect for bedrooms. 

    Meanwhile, earthy hues and dark-toned throws are great for a cozy autumn-themed space.

  • Is color analysis scientifically proven?

    Though the science behind color theory has evolved over time, thanks to pioneers like Michel Eugène Chevreul and Albert Henry Munsell, the scientific exploration of color analysis is still relatively new.

    Moreover, a lack of standard training and approach often means variations in interpretations and results. 

    “There’s a lot we still don’t know,” says Dr. Ray W. Christner, PsyD, NCSP, ABPP. “We’re also uncovering the limitations and gaps in our knowledge.” 

    It’s also worth noting that “color associations are personal, and we are organically drawn to certain hues,” says Dr. Michele Leno, PhD, LP. These colors may not always align with our prescribed palettes. 


Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
  1. Cornell eCommons. Color, the Essence of You.

  2. Massachusetts Institute of Technology. Color Theory.

  3. Patzer GL. Improving self-esteem by improving physical attractiveness. Journal of Esthetic and Restorative Dentistry 9,1 (1997). doi:10.1111/j.1708-8240.1997.tb00915.x.

  4. University of Hertfordshire. Happiness: it’s not in the jeans. 

  5. Kim, J. K., Holtz, B. C., & Vogel, R. M. Wearing Your Worth At Work: The Consequences of Employee’s Daily Clothing Choices. Academy of Management Journal 66, 5 (2023). doi:10.5465/amj.2021.1358

  6. New Mexico State University. Determining Personal Colors. 

Noma Nazish

By Noma Nazish

With nearly a decade of journalistic experience, Noma Nazish is passionate about covering the intersection of lifestyle and wellness with a soft spot for sustainability. Her work has appeared in various national and international publications like Cosmopolitan, The News Hub, and Zee News English, among others.


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Is Pornography Destroying Your Marriage?


Key Takeaways

  • Porn can harm relationships by causing secretive behavior and reducing intimacy.
  • Some people use porn to cope with stress or loneliness.
  • If porn is a problem, talk openly with your partner and consider seeking help.

The question of whether porn in marriage is okay or destructive is a common concern for many couples. Since pornography’s migration from magazines and videos to a digital format, it is readily accessible, easily kept private, and anonymous. As a result, pornography use has become more prevalent.

A 2020 study published in the Journal of Sex Research found that 91.5% of men and 60.2% of women reported pornography use within the previous month.

Women also view porn, yet men are still the biggest consumers. Pornography can be an acceptable way to explore and express sexuality, but for some people, it can become a problem that harms their well-being and relationships. Pornography use can negatively impact marital intimacy and reduce relationship satisfaction.

This article explores what you should know about porn in your marriage, including how porn affects relationships and why people may utilize pornography. It also provides tips for how to cope if porn has become a problem for you or your partner.

Porn in Marriage: What Are the Effects?

An increasing number of couples report that pornography is causing difficulties in their relationships. Research shows that pornography use is one of the strongest predictors of poor relationship quality and stability, both for those in dating relationships and married couples. It’s even been linked to divorce.

But what is it about porn that harms relationships?

Breaks Trust

Usually, the person looking at porn doesn’t want their partner to know. The secrecy, shame, isolation, and lies this kind of sneaking around introduces into a relationship often snowballs into all kinds of problems.

Keeping secrets from your partner is a recipe for disaster. When romantic partners keep secrets from each other, their trust in each other erodes and their confidence in their relationship starts to waver. This, in turn, can negatively affect your relationship.

But even if porn isn’t kept a secret—even if partners are open and honest about their consumption—it can still do real harm.

Decreases Satisfaction

There is some research out there that suggests porn viewing can improve a couple’s sex life. For some couples, it might add a little “spice” to an already awesome experience. But for the majority, research says that porn does the exact opposite. 

In “An Open Letter on Porn,” world-renowned clinical psychologists and relationship experts Drs. John and Julie Gottman write about how porn negatively affects relationships. 

Drs. John and Julie Gottman, Founders of The Gottman Institute

Use of pornography by one partner leads the couple to have far less sex and ultimately reduces relationship satisfaction…We are led to unconditionally conclude that for many reasons, pornography poses a serious threat to couple intimacy and relationship harmony.

— Drs. John and Julie Gottman, Founders of The Gottman Institute

Obstructs Emotional Intimacy

Frequent porn use can also cause users to emotionally detach from their partners. Michael Taylor, a marriage and family therapist in Kentucky, agrees, saying “Pornography is a poor substitute for the bonding version of sex. The vulnerability is removed in pornography, and that makes it too simplistic to produce the security and bonding that are a significant part of the physical interaction of a couple.”

In the most extreme cases, porn can separate the user from their partner—both in terms of time and emotions. The resulting emotional detachment from sex is very dangerous to the viability of the marriage.

Creates Unrealistic Expectations

When you go to the movies, you know that the movie has been edited, and that the people on screen are actors who have been paid to bring a scripted character to life.

But for some reason, people have difficulty making these same connections when they watch porn. They forget that real sex isn’t the same as the perfectly scripted scenes they see on the internet. This leads them to have unrealistic expectations about sex and a warped view of what a sexual partner should look like and be willing to do—expectations that can never be met.

Decreases Self Esteem

Janie Lacy, a licensed mental health counselor and certified sex addiction therapist in Florida, says, “Pornography can lower the sense of self-esteem and self-worth of the wife because she may compare herself to the women that her husband is viewing on the screen.” And research shows that her assessment is spot on.

For example, some women worry they can’t compete with the beautiful young women her partner is viewing on the screen. Many even begin to view themselves as “sexually undesirable, worthless, weak, and stupid.”

When you are constantly bombarded by negative thoughts about yourself, they eventually start to creep into how you relate to your partner. Low self-esteem eventually gives rise to jealousy and overall distrust in the relationship.

Reasons for Porn in Marriage

If you discover that your partner has been watching porn, you might feel distressed, angry, or betrayed. Some people may even feel that viewing porn is the same as cheating.

It can be helpful to understand some of the reasons why even a committed partner might view porn.

  • Porn may act as a substitute for affection: Some researchers suggest that when the need for affection is not met, people may turn to pornography to fulfill these social needs and combat feelings of loneliness.
  • Porn use may be a way to cope with stress: Porn can sometimes act as a coping mechanism when people are dealing with stress or other mental health issues. It may serve as a form of escape or provide a sense of stress relief.
  • Porn activates the brain’s reward pathways: People may view porn because it activates the reward circuitry in the brain, releasing “feel good” chemicals that produce feelings of pleasure. It can have a powerful effect on the brain, which is why porn use is sometimes described as addictive.

Porn addiction is not a recognized addiction, and some experts suggest that characterizing porn use as addiction contributes to negative attitudes about sex. Research has also shown that attitudes about porn use create more distress than pornography itself.

If Porn Is a Problem in Your Marriage

Of course, there are relationships in which porn use is mutually enjoyed. But if porn isn’t OK with you, then it’s not OK in your relationship and should be addressed. Unfortunately, this is an important conversation that far too few couples have.

Here are some tips on how to broach the topic of porn with your partner and get back on track:

  • Start your conversation right. The first few minutes of a difficult conversation generally determine the outcome, so be direct and calm. Use the same tone and attitude you would use for any low-pressure topic. Do you want steak for dinner? Are you into having a porn conversation with me tonight?
  • Leave judgment at the door. Tread lightly and choose your words wisely. Nothing is more upsetting or alienating than feeling like your sexuality is being judged.
  • Ask questions. Ask them what they like about porn. Find out if their porn use is something they consider a problem and need to work on, or if they think that porn is OK.
  • Own your feelings. Take the time to calmly and clearly explain why you feel the way you do about porn. Be honest about why it bothers you. This may require you to open up about insecurities you may have about what you look like or how you have sex.

If you can’t resolve the issue alone, consider seeking the help of a couples’ counselor or sex therapist. You can also look into marriage counseling to see if you think there are other problems in your marriage that may be leading to excessive pornography use.

Taylor warns that while experimenting with porn is understandable, doing so just to please your partner can wind up backfiring. Not only will it “reinforce or excuse avoidant or abusive dynamics,” but it also has the potential to lead to addiction.


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What It Means to Be Fraysexual

Key Takeaways

  • Fraysexual people feel a strong attraction to strangers and less attraction to people they know well.
  • Fraysexuality can affect traditional relationships, but open communication can help maintain them.
  • Fraysexuals may explore non-monogamous relationships to keep sexual interest alive.

Fraysexuality, also known as ignotasexuality, is a sexual identity in which people experience a strong attraction to strangers, and less attraction to people they know well.

A fraysexual person generally prefers having sex with people they don’t know over those they do. It’s the opposite of demisexuality, where a person needs to know someone well and feel connected to them before experiencing sexual attraction.

This identity is on the asexual spectrum, and it has its own flag: The colors are four stripes of blue, cyan, white, and gray. The blue represents strangers, the cyan acquaintances, white for lack of attraction, and gray for sexual attraction confusion.

Ahead, we’ll discuss more about fraysexuality, signs a person may exhibit as a fraysexual, and how this identity might impact your love life.

Fraysexuality Exists on the Asexuality Spectrum

Asexuality is considered an umbrella term for people who have sexual identities that involve an aversion to sex, and it includes other identities such as graysexual, autosexual, and demisexual. 

Dr. Edward Ratush, Board Certified Psychiatrist, sex therapist, and co-founder of SOHOMD, explains that fraysexuality “falls under the umbrella of the asexual spectrum because of the specific aversion a fraysexual individual will have toward sexual contact with their most intimate partner. Simply stated, the more a fraysexual person is emotionally connected with their intimate partner the less they are inclined to have overt sexual desire for this partner.”

Fraysexual individuals do not necessarily identify as asexual. Rather, the term asexual is used as an umbrella one that fraysexual falls under.

Can Anyone Identify as Fraysexual?

One does not need a specific sexuality to be fraysexual. A person can identify as fraysexual whether they are gay, straight, or pansexual, and they can be of any gender. It’s an identity that a person may use to describe themself, or someone else may refer to someone as fraysexual if they notice that that person is more sexually attracted to strangers than to people they know.

Even if someone calls you fraysexual, though, that doesn’t mean you have to identify with the term. Sexuality is highly personal, and we all have the right to identify as whatever feels best for us.

6 Signs You May Be Fraysexual

While an attraction to strangers is the most prominent sign of fraysexuality, there are numerous other signs too.

  • Loss of sexual interest with a partner: Dr. Ratush says this occurs “despite a growing love and connection with one’s intimate partner outside the sexual realm.”
  • Desire for romantic stability: Sex therapist Aliyah Moore, Ph.D tells us that “despite experiencing a decline in sexual attraction, the individual may still desire romantic stability and emotional connection with their partner. They may feel fulfilled romantically and emotionally even as their sexual interest wanes.”
  • High interest in new experiences: Moore explains how “novelty and new experiences might be significant factors that spark their sexual attraction.”
  • Unstable sexual interest: A Fraysexual person may feel inconsistent in their attractions and physical desires for others.
  • Challenge maintaining sexual desire: “Emotional closeness and familiarity with their partner might lead to a decrease in sexual desire,” says Moore. She adds that “when trying to rekindle sexual interest in an established relationship, they may struggle to regain the initial level of sexual attraction.”
  • Disconnect between emotional and physical attraction: Moore says that “Their emotional bond remains meaningful, but sexual attraction might not align with it in the same way.”

Fraysexuality vs. Demisexuality

Fraysexuality

  • Attraction to strangers

  • Less attraction to people they’re close to

  • May seek out casual encounters with strangers

  • Does not require emotional connection for intimacy

Demisexuality

  • Lack of attraction to strangers

  • More attraction to people they’re close to

  • Won’t seek out casual encounters with strangers

  • Requires emotional connection for intimacy

Can fraysexuals still be in serious committed relationships?

From what you know thus far about fraysexuality, you may think a fraysexual person isn’t capable of being in a serious, committed relationship, but that isn’t necessarily the case. “Fraysexual individuals may still experience romantic attraction and emotional connections with their partners even as their sexual attraction diminishes over time,” says Moore.

Ratush explains that “sexual interest, sexual activity, or even monogamy are not the only reasons people enter relationships, and they are not necessarily required for a relationship to work,” and notes that “people engage in relationships for a multitude of reasons that are, themselves, dynamic and can evolve throughout our lives.”

Whether or not a committed relationship with a fraysexsual person will involve the same amount of sex throughout the relationship as it did in the beginning is a different topic. It’s normal for couples who have been together long term to have less sex than they did initially. It’s also normal for people to have less sex as they age, period.

To keep a relationship in a good place, Moore says that “it’s essential for fraysexual individuals to communicate openly with their partners about their changing sexual needs and explore relationship structures that accommodate both partners’ desires for intimacy and connection.”

Does being fraysexual mean that I have issues with sex and intimacy?

Someone who is fraysexual will experience a waning interest in sex as they get to know someone, but that doesn’t innately mean they have intimacy and sex issues. “It simply represents a unique pattern of sexual attraction where the intensity of attraction may change based on emotional proximity to a person,” explains Moore.

“Fraysexual individuals can experience fulfilling romantic relationships, and their sexual orientation does not dictate their ability to engage in meaningful emotional connections with others,” she says.

However, it’s worth noting that a fraysexual person may not receive the same relationship benefits as someone who experiences more attraction to those they’re emotionally close to. “psychological intimacy may enhance the physical experience as physical intimacy enhances the emotional connection between people who are in love,” says Ratush.

“Fear and anxiety often lead the charge for reasons why someone would avoid something, and losing a sexual/emotional connection is one obvious thing to avoid, avoiding that loss may be a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts,” he explains.

How Being Fraysexual May Influence Your Sex Life

An identity of fraysexuality can impact one’s sex life due to their lowered levels of desire for someone they know well. ” Individuals who identify as fraysexual may face challenges in traditional monogamous relationships if their sexual attraction decreases over time,” says Moore. She adds that ” some fraysexual individuals may explore non-monogamous relationship structures to maintain their sexual fulfillment while nurturing emotional connections with their partners.”

Ratush says fraysexuality “is an identity that will require a lot of mutual understanding,” and both therapists stress the importance of open and honest communication around sex and one’s relationship to it to keep the relationship working.

When a person has a sexual preference or a limit, the need to set it will increase the likelihood of there being a barrier to connection with partners,” Ratush says, so those in relationships with fraysexuals may need to find other ways of connecting with their partner in addition to sex. But, because healthy romantic relationships require many different types of connection, fraysexuality doesn’t have to be a deal breaker.

Knowing oneself and understanding how to create a relationship given your nature is important for all relationships. Establishing what you are seeking in a relationship is helpful for both you and your partner when filling any type of sexual or emotional need, especially for fraysexual people.

“Understanding and embracing one’s fraysexual orientation can lead to more fulfilling relationships and personal growth as individuals embrace and communicate their sexual needs with their partners,” says Moore.

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By Ariane Resnick, CNC

Ariane Resnick, CNC is a mental health writer, certified nutritionist, and wellness author who advocates for accessibility and inclusivity.


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How Youngest Child Syndrome Shapes Development


Key Takeaways

  • Youngest children may be more likely to become entrepreneurs and risk-takers.
  • Parenting styles and family dynamics affect youngest children, but personality traits aren’t solely defined by birth order.
  • Youngest children should have an open conversation with caregivers if they feel left out and consider their own strengths and individuality.

Are you the “baby” in your family? If so, you might identify with youngest child syndrome. Youngest child syndrome refers to the characteristics and traits of being the youngest child in a family. While youngest child syndrome is not an official diagnosis or condition, research has been done on the birth order of children in the family construct. 

When scientists look at personality in adulthood, Julia Rohrer, personality psychologist at Leipzig University, says that they mostly find no systematic differences between firstborns, middle children, and lastborn children with respect to major dimensions of personality, such as emotional stability, extraversion, agreeableness, neuroticism, and openness to experience. 

However, common characteristics and traits have been found. 

“There are some that are associated with being the youngest child in a family (such as being risk takers, being spoiled), but there is little evidence that confirms such stereotypes,” says Rohrer. 

Characteristics of Youngest Child

Some common traits and behaviors associated with the youngest children include:

  • Risk-taking
  • Entrepreneur mindset
  • Prosocial
  • Resilient
  • Being spoiled 

Research from the University of Birmingham and the University of Reading found that the youngest children in families who are not self-employed are nearly 50% more likely to take the risk of going into business. The findings were based on analyzing traits of more than 17,000 children born in 1970, who were surveyed again at 38 years old.

Another study found that the youngest children had the lowest rate of mental health challenges, including emotional, conduct, and attention problems. 

Rohrer says of all the research conducted, scientists consistently find small effects on intelligence in samples from the global north. “Firstborns are a little bit smarter, and then on average intelligence declines with birth order position,” she says. However, she adds that these effects are small on average and not deterministic.

“So, in any given family, the youngest child may actually be the smartest. Just when we average across thousands of people do we detect that on average, firstborns are a few points smarter,” says Rohrer. 

The reason for characteristics associated with birth order may be age effects. 

“[We] know that personality matures and within a family, the youngest child may end up with the ‘least mature’ personality just by virtue of their younger age,” says Rohrer. 

While the age-related personality differences would disappear with age, they may be “kept alive” within the family context. 

“Think of the firstborn who, as a child, gets more responsibility due to her age, and then later keeps being the responsible sibling when the family gets together for Christmas (but not necessarily in other contexts, such as at work or with their peers),” explains Rohrer. 

Psychological Impact on Youngest Children

Louis J. Kraus, MD, director of child and adolescent psychiatry at Rush University, says how kids are raised and their genetics both have psychological effects, “but as time goes on and as they grow, the effects are somewhat less obvious and you have to be careful formally labeling anybody,” he says. 

Relationships between the youngest child and their older siblings may be influenced by family dynamics. For instance, Kraus says it is not uncommon that the oldest child is more helpful with their younger siblings and that the youngest child is more animated and attention-seeking. 

[If] you grab an average family with three kids or more, they would describe this dynamic probably more often than not, even if there is no definitive research to support it.

“With that, there is a question of whether there is a more immature quality with them that they tend to infantilize a bit more, and are a little closer to mom than their older sibling counterparts,” Kraus says. “[If] you grab an average family with three kids or more, they would describe this dynamic probably more often than not, even if there is no definitive research to support it.” 

Relationship with Siblings and Family Dynamics

Parenting may have something to do with the dynamics, he adds, noting that when parents have their first child, they typically are overprotective. “Everything gets sanitized, they do everything by the book, and by their second child, they’re a little easier going,” he says. “If the pacifier falls on the floor, maybe they’ll wipe it off and give it back to the child. It’s no longer a big deal.” 

When there are more than two children, he notes that parents need additional help and unintentionally involve the oldest child, or the child takes on the role themselves without being asked. 

In families with more than two kids, the youngest child may receive somewhat less attention in the early years of life because they have to “share” it with older siblings. “At the same time, they are likely to experience a period later when the older siblings have moved out, and they get ‘exclusive access’ to parents,” says Rohrer. 

She adds that the middleborn children are theoretically the ones who have the largest disadvantage in parental attention. “Maybe attention in younger years matters more and so youngest children do get a worse deal, but in any case, we don’t have much evidence that it affects their personality in the long run,” she says. 

Coping Strategies for Youngest Children and Parents

Parenting or being the youngest child can come with challenges and advantages. However, acknowledging that birth order may affect your child or you is a great way to embrace it. 

Experts share ways to navigate the youngest child syndrome for parents and those living life as the youngest child. 

For Parents

As you raise your youngest child, Kraus says, think about what not to do with all your children:

  • Don’t give your oldest child too much responsibility
  • Don’t ignore your middle child
  • Don’t infantilize your youngest child

“What you do, is you do the best you can as parents. You try to love your kids equally, you try and support them, and you realize they’re going to have different personalities and are going to be different kids,” he says. 

Recognizing that you can’t make kids fall into a line and be exactly as you expect is key, Kraus stresses. “Kids have their own genetics and they react to environmental stressors and support differently. You might see similar characteristics with your kids and you might not,” he notes. 

Taking parenting advice from books is okay, but keep in mind that your children are who they are. 

“Parents may read one book or another book about how it should be and they might even have certain expectations, but at the end of the day, kids are surprise packages. You don’t know what you’re going to get for sure and the best you can do as a parent is to love and support your kids as equally as you can,” Kraus says. 

If you notice your youngest child is struggling with family dynamics, encourage open communication, and if needed, seek out help from a mental health professional who specializes in family therapy. 

For Youngest Children

If you are currently a minor and struggling with being the youngest child, talk with your parents about what’s bothering you and ask if they can help you find a therapist to talk to. If you are uncomfortable talking to your parents, ask a teacher, coach, or another trusted adult to help you. 

If you are an adult looking back on your dynamic as the youngest child, Kraus says to try to accept how you were raised and understand that it does not have to define how you live your life today.

Rohrer stresses that the differences between each family dwarf any systematic effects of birth order position. “This does not mean that siblings do not matter for personality; it is quite possible that they do matter—but in highly individual ways that do not result in something like a ‘typical youngest child’ pattern,” she says. 

With this notion in mind, try to embrace your unique qualities and strengths as an individual despite your birth order. Consider ways your qualities as a youngest child can help you feel empowered. For inspiration, consider many celebrities and successful people who are the youngest children, including Zooey Deschanel, Jake Gyllenhaal, Hilary Duff, and Harry Styles.

If you need help processing your family dynamics and place as the youngest child, reach out to a mental health professional for guidance.

What This Means For You

Being the youngest child can be difficult at times, and if you feel left out or unheard in your family, talking with your parents or siblings may help. Reaching out to a mental health professional can also help you process being a youngest child. Parents, trying to understand and support your youngest child in their personal growth and development will help them fit into the family dynamic.


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