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Passion flower (passiflora incarnata) is an herbal supplement used historically in treating anxiety, insomnia, seizures, and hysteria. A perennial climbing vine native to southeastern North America, passion flower is now grown throughout Europe.

The herbal supplement is composed of the flowers, leaves, and stems of the plant. When used in complementary medicine, passion flower is available as infusions, teas, liquid extracts, and tinctures.

Passion flower has shown some promise in alleviating some mental health conditions, including anxiety and depression. However, it’s important to talk to your doctor before trying it. There is a possibility of drug interactions, so always tell your doctor about other medications or supplements you are taking. Most importantly, remember that passion flower isn’t a replacement for proven treatments like medication and therapy. Discussing your symptoms with your doctor is the best way to get the right treatment for you.

Does Passion Flower Have Health Benefits?

While you might hear a lot about the purported benefits of an herbal remedy, that doesn’t always mean that the research backs up the claims. That’s why it’s important to note that the safety and effectiveness of passion flower have not been adequately studied. However, there are reports that this herbal supplement may have a few health benefits.

It May Help Reduce Anxiety

Evidence from limited animal and human research suggests that the supplement may be useful in treating anxiety, insomnia, and nervous disorders.

Passion flower’s anxiolytic effects are thought to be due to its impact on neurotransmitters, including GABA and dopamine. One study found that passion flower extract led to significant increases in dopamine levels.

Some Variants May Relieve Stomach Upset

Some research also indicates that certain types of passion flower might be useful for relieving stomach problems, including ulcers. One animal study found that passion flower extract helped relieve stomach ulcers in rats. However, more research is needed to determine if passion flower might have the same effect in humans.

Other Possible Uses

Passion flower is also sometimes used as a supplement treat:

However, it is important to note that while passion flower is sometimes utilized or promoted for these purposes, there is a lack of evidence to support these uses. The National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health, a division of the National Institutes for Health, states that there is not enough research to demonstrate that passion flower can help treat cardiac issues, stress, menopause, pain, burns, hemorrhoids, or ADHD.

Passion Flower Can Have Side Effects

Side effects have been rarely reported for passion flower but may include:

• Drowsiness
• Mental slowing
• Nausea
• Rapid heartbeat
• Vomiting

When taking passion flower, ensure you don’t drive or operate heavy machinery until you know how it affects you. 

In general, passion flower is considered safe and nontoxic. However, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) does not regulate the production of herbs and supplements.

One small study indicated that passion flower might be associated with pregnancy complications. Further research is needed to better understand this potential risk.

Passion Flower Dosage and Preparation

So, just how much passion flower should you take? And how should you take it? Since passion flower is an herbal remedy, there are no recommended amounts. However, some research has suggested some different dosages based on how you choose to consume it.

Passion flower can be consumed as an infusion, tea, liquid extract, or tincture. It is important to stress that these dosages are not prescriptions but merely suggested guidelines. 

• Infusions: 2.5 grams, three to four times daily
• Teas: Tea made from 4 to 8 grams of dried herb, daily
• Liquid extract: 10 to 30 drops, three times daily
• Tincture: 10 to 60 drops, three times daily

Precautions When Taking Passion Flower

The same advice applies when using passion flower as it does for any natural supplement: Read the product label and discuss with a doctor or other medical provider what dosage is suitable for you and your specific medical needs.

Be sure to tell them of any other medications or remedies you’re using, even if only occasionally. Passion flower may interact with other medications or affect how they work in your body.

Drug Interactions and Warnings

As with any herbal remedy, there is always the possibility of interaction between passion flower and other treatments or medications.

There’s a fairly comprehensive list of medications known to have possible interactions with passion flower. These include:

Take care if you are taking blood thinners or anti-inflammatory medications, as these have been shown to have possible passion flower interactions. Other herbal remedies that may cause issues with passion flower are kava and valerian root. Finally, alcohol, caffeine, and aspirin may not mix well with passion flower usage. 

Passion flower on its own has not been associated with liver problems. However, one case report indicated that a combination of kava (which has been linked to liver problems) and passion flower led to a fatal liver injury.

Alternatives to Passion Flower

It’s important to remember that passion flower should not be used in place of other treatments for mental health or medical conditions. If passion flower isn’t working the way you need it to, or you want to try other options, there are other treatments and remedies that you might consider.

Other Herbal Supplements

There are many other supplements suggested for anxiety, such as chamomile, which several studies have shown to be effective in reducing anxiety and perhaps even acting as an antidepressant. Chamomile has been used for thousands of years, including by the ancient Greeks, Egyptians, and Romans.

Another option that many with depression have found helpful is St. John’s Wort. Research suggests that St. John’s Wort is useful in treating mild to moderate depression, but its value as a treatment for anxiety is still not established.

Medication and Psychotherapy

If you have anxiety that causes distress and disruption in your life, talk to a healthcare professional for an appropriate diagnosis and treatment advice. Effective treatments are available that can help relieve anxiety, and those options should be your first line of defense before trying an alternative treatment such as passion flower.

While life has its ups and downs, some people find it difficult to feel happy even when things in their life appear to be going well. This can be due to various reasons, such as past experiences or genetic predispositions.

In any case, it is important to identify the root of why you may be feeling this way and then find ways to work through those feelings to learn how to accept and appreciate the good in life. It may also help to reach out for professional help if needed; therapists and psychologists can provide helpful strategies for managing these emotions. With the proper support, learning how to be happy when life is going well is possible.

Read further to learn about the driving forces behind happiness and ways to increase your happiness level.

Why Can’t I Feel Happy Even When Life is Great?

Two of the main contributors to our level of happiness in life are related to our past experiences and our genetic predispositions.

• Past experiences are likely to have an influence on your current outlook and state of mind. If you have been through a traumatic event in your life, it can be challenging to accept the good even when it is right in front of you. This may manifest itself through feelings of guilt or anxiety when things go too well, as those emotions can be hardwired into us from our past.
• Genetic predispositions also play a role in our ability to find happiness even when life is going great. People with conditions like depression or anxiety may find difficulty feeling positive emotions no matter how successful their lives become; this is because these conditions can cause brain chemistry imbalances, which make it difficult to experience joy.

What Does it Mean If You Can’t Feel Happy?

Happiness is an emotion and a state of mind that can be difficult to understand. It’s not always easy or straightforward to feel happy, even when life is going well.

The answer could lie in the fact that our lives are made up of a combination of different elements: emotions, thoughts, relationships, and external factors like money or status etc. Even if most aspects of our lives are favorable, one area could still drag us down and stop us from feeling as happy as we could be.

It’s also possible that when life is going great, it can intimidate or overwhelm us. We may be waiting for the other shoe to drop. We may start to doubt our abilities, compare ourselves with others, and become anxious about making mistakes or messing up (also known as imposter syndrome). This could lead to feeling low and unsatisfied even if everything is seemingly perfect on the outside.

Is It Normal to Not Feel Happy in Life?

Yes, it is totally normal not to feel happy at times, even when life is going great. Everyone experiences highs and lows in life, and happiness isn’t a constant emotion or state of mind. It can take time, effort, and self-reflection to understand what brings you true contentment.

It’s simply part of the human experience; we all have days when things seem perfect, and it is difficult to comprehend how we aren’t beaming with joy. The key is learning to accept this as part of life and making an effort to find joy in different areas of your life.

However, in some cases, the inability to feel happy despite good circumstances could be a sign of an underlying mental health issue such as depression or anxiety. Anhedonia, the persistent inability to experience pleasure, could also be at play here. It’s essential to pay attention to your mental well-being and reach out for help if needed.

How Can I Enjoy Life Again?

When you no longer feel the same joy or satisfaction you once did, it may seem like life has lost its meaning. But don’t worry—there are ways to help you find happiness again. You can do a few simple things to start enjoying life again.

• Connect with others: Spend quality time with your family and friends, and reach out if you’re struggling with something. Being around people who care about you can make all the difference in finding your happiness again.
• Practice gratitude: Focusing on what you have rather than what you don’t can help to lift your mood. Try writing down three things you are thankful for each day or keeping a gratitude journal.
• Exercise: Staying physically active is essential for feeling good mentally and emotionally. Exercise releases endorphins, which have been shown to make us feel happier and more energized.
• Connect with nature: Going for a walk in the park, sitting by the beach, or simply appreciating the beauty of nature can be a great way to boost your mood and find peace within yourself.
• Focus on small wins: Achieving even small goals—such as checking something off your to-do list, going out of your comfort zone, or spending time with loved ones—can make you feel more content and in control of your life. Celebrate any wins, no matter how small.
• Spend time on hobbies: Engaging in activities that bring you joy—whether it’s cooking, playing an instrument, reading, or crafting—can be a great way to enjoy the moment and take your mind off things.
• Practice mindfulness: Becoming aware of the present moment and connecting with your thoughts, feelings, and sensations can help you become more mindful and less judgmental of yourself.

Can I Trick My Brain to Feel Happy?

We can’t always change our circumstances, but we can learn to become masters of our own minds. Here are some tips for feeling happier:

1. Change your mindset: Realize that happiness can be a choice. Focus on the positives rather than dwelling on the negatives. Give yourself permission to be happy even if everything isn’t perfect.
2. Smile more: Smiling has been shown to make us feel better. So, make it a habit to smile and laugh more often, even if you don’t necessarily feel like it at first.
3. Listen to upbeat music: Music has the power to instantly brighten your mood. Put on some of your favorite uplifting tunes, and let them carry you away.
4. Learn something new: Learning a new skill or hobby can be a great way to give yourself purpose and feel more confident in your abilities.
5. Think of the good times: Take some time to reflect back on the fond memories you’ve made throughout your life.
6. Do something for someone else: Doing something kind for another person has been shown to increase feelings of happiness. Helping others can also give you a sense of purpose, essential for feeling content with life.
7. Take breaks: Taking regular breaks throughout your day can help to alleviate stress and remind you that life is more than just work. Spend time doing something enjoyable, or take a few minutes for yourself to relax and breathe.

Nicotine is a highly addictive substance found in all tobacco products, including cigarettes, pipes, cigars, chewing tobacco, and snuff. E-cigarettes and vapes contain nicotine as well. While nicotine is not considered a controlled substance, it is illegal to sell tobacco products to anyone under the age of 18 in the United States, with some states raising the minimum age to 21.

Knowing how long nicotine is in your system can help you understand more about how it might be affecting your body and when you might start to experience withdrawal effects if you decide to stop using nicotine-containing products. If you are quitting, it’s also helpful to know how long nicotine will stay in your body so you can time your use of nicotine replacement therapy.

Your body breaks nicotine down into many chemicals, including cotinine, which can be detected in certain drug tests. Cotinine is only found in your body if you have processed nicotine and, in general, stays in the body longer than nicotine itself. Some employers and insurance companies may ask for nicotine testing due to the nature of the work or to determine coverage.                                              

How Long Does It Take Nicotine to Work?

Nicotine acts quickly in the body. After taking a puff from your cigarette, the substance enters the bloodstream and makes it to the brain within 20 seconds.

The amount of nicotine that enters the body varies based on how the drug is administered. For instance, chewing or snorting nicotine-containing products can cause more of the substance to be released than if it is smoked. 

Nicotine is a stimulant. After it’s taken, people quickly experience a surge in adrenaline that causes blood pressure and heart rate to go up.

Nicotine also increases the levels of a brain chemical called dopamine. This can improve mood and increase feelings of pleasure.

Half-Life of Nicotine

Nicotine has a half-life of about two hours. A drug’s half-life is the amount of time it takes for half of the dosage administered to be eliminated from the body.

When nicotine is smoked as a cigarette or inhaled from another tobacco product, it is mostly absorbed through the lungs. Less often, nicotine is absorbed through mouth and throat membranes. If you chew tobacco or use nicotine gum, lozenges, or patches, nicotine can also be absorbed in your gastrointestinal tract or skin.

Nicotine is mainly metabolized in the liver, but also in the lungs and kidneys. It is primarily excreted by the kidneys via urine, with some nicotine being excreted in the feces. Nicotine can also be found in saliva and hair.

Urine

The amount of cotinine in your urine will vary depending on the amount and frequency of nicotine use. On average, nicotine shows in the urine for about three days. Although, regular smokers may have detectable levels for as long as 20 days.

Blood

Nicotine shows up in blood tests, as do its metabolites, including cotinine and anabasine. Nicotine itself may be present in the blood for only 48 hours, while cotinine may be detectable for up to three weeks. After blood is drawn in a lab, results can take from two to 10 days.

Saliva

Nicotine stays in your saliva for about 24 hours, making it detectable with saliva tests taken during this time. Cotinine can be detected for up to seven days after it was last used or up to 14 days in heavy smokers. To perform this test, a technician swabs the inside of your mouth and tests oral fluids for nicotine. Results can take 24 to 72 hours.

Hair

As with other substances,hair follicle testing can detect nicotine for much longer periods of time. This method tends to be less common, however, because it is usually more expensive. The test requires the removal of a small amount of hair that is tested for repeated nicotine use over the last 90 days. Results typically take one to five days.

False Positive Testing

A compound called thiocyanate—which is found in some medications and foods such as broccoli, garlic, radishes, almonds, and cabbage—can result in a false positive blood test result. Vegetarians may have elevated levels of this substance in their blood due to increased consumption of thiocyanate-containing foods.

Factors That Affect How Long Nicotine Stays in Your Body

How long nicotine appears in your system at a detectable level depends largely on the type of test being used. And since each person’s body processes nicotine differently, it is nearly impossible to determine a timeframe of detection with 100% confidence.

Factors that can affect how quickly your body metabolizes nicotine include:

• Age: As you age, it becomes more difficult for your body to excrete nicotine, enabling it to stay in your system longer.
• Body mass: Nicotine can be stored in fatty tissue. So, the more body fat you have, the longer nicotine may be detectable in your body.
• Genetics: Research has found that a person’s genetic makeup can impact their nicotine metabolism rate.
• Hydration level: Being well-hydrated helps your body to metabolize substances more efficiently.
• Level of physical activity: The skin helps regulate the excretion of metabolic waste products. So, with increased sweating during physical activity comes increased excretion rates.
• Type, frequency, and history of use: Nicotine accumulates in the body. The more you use, the longer it can take to leave. So, if you have been smoking for a long time, it will take longer for nicotine to fully leave your body.

Smoking vs. Vaping vs. Chewing

How nicotine is administered may have an impact on how much of it is delivered. One study that compared nicotine doses between heavy smokers and e-cigarette users found that vaping devices deliver nicotine at slightly lower levels than cigarettes.

Chew and dip tobacco, on the other hand, contains higher levels of nicotine than cigarettes. The exact amount absorbed (and therefore needs to be eliminated) can depend on the brand of tobacco, the acidity level of the product, and the amount chewed. Blood serum levels are about the same when comparing smokeless tobacco use to that of cigarettes.

How to Get Nicotine Out of Your System

If you are ready to quit smoking and want to quit cold turkey, you may want to start by getting nicotine out of your system as quickly as possible. The first step in getting nicotine out of your system and starting to detox from this substance is to completely stop using all products that contain it.

Once you stop using nicotine, there are some steps you can take that may speed up how quickly the drug is excreted from your system.

• Stay hydrated. Drinking plenty of water can help remove nicotine and its metabolites from your body through urine.
• Eat nutritious foods. Sticking to a healthful diet that includes plenty of antioxidant-containing foods may speed up how quickly nicotine is removed from your system. Foods high in antioxidants include several fruits and vegetables, almonds, sunflower seeds, salmon, and eggs.
• Exercise. Regular physical activity can increase your metabolism and the rate at which the drug is processed and cleared from your body.

Symptoms of Overdose

Being aware of how long nicotine lasts can also help reduce the risk of accidentally taking too much. Ingesting too much nicotine can result in nicotine poisoning. Nicotine tests may be performed if nicotine poisoning is suspected. Symptoms of nicotine poisoning can include:

• Excessive salivation
• Elevated blood pressure
• Increase heart rate
• Rapid breathing
• Sweating
• Nausea
• Vomiting
• Stomachache
• Headache
• Dizziness
• Tremors
• Confusion

Most nicotine poisoning cases have traditionally involved young children who got their hands on nicotine gum or patches. Although most cases are still in kids, adult cases are also now being reported more often due to e-cigarette use.

The American Association of Poison Control Centers (AAPCC) recommends the following safety tips for users of e-cigarettes:

• Protect your skin when handling the products.
• Keep e-cigarettes and liquid nicotine out of the reach of children.
• Follow the disposal instructions on the label.
• If someone has been exposed, call 1-800-222-1222 immediately.

Getting Help to Quit Nicotine

While there are no easy, pain-free ways to kick your nicotine habit, there are plenty of resources to help you develop a solid smoking cessation plan.

Because nicotine can lead to physical and psychological dependence, stopping your use of the substance can result in withdrawal. Nicotine withdrawal symptoms may include:

At first, these symptoms can be *really* intense and unpleasant. The good news is that they usually decline in severity after three to five days.

There are a number of smoking cessation treatments that can help you get through the withdrawal period and improve long-term abstinence. Nicotine-replacement therapy, such as the nicotine patch, can help you slowly reduce your nicotine intake and ease withdrawal symptoms. 

Your doctor can also prescribe medications like Zyban (bupropion) and Chantix (varenicline) to help reduce nicotine cravings and reduce withdrawal symptoms. This may help improve your chances of quitting nicotine successfully.

Emotional healing happens when you can acknowledge, accept, and process difficult emotions or experiences. This process looks different for everyone, but it is possible as long as you are open to releasing expectations about what the experience will be like or what it will lead to.

The reality is that you will never be the same person you were before whatever happened that you are healing from.  That can feel scary, but that can also feel incredibly freeing as you attempt to find yourself and experience post-traumatic growth.

What Is Emotional Healing?

Emotional healing is the process of acknowledging, allowing, accepting, integrating, and processing painful life experiences and strong emotions. It may involve empathy, self-regulation, self-compassion, self-acceptance, mindfulness, and integration.

Many people have a tendency to want to control the process of emotional healing by minimizing the pain and controlling their emotions. However, this can actually inhibit the process of emotional healing.

Emotional healing takes the time that it takes—which may be longer or shorter than you expect or plan on—if you allow it to be fully acknowledged, felt, moved through, and processed.

When Do You Need Emotional Healing?

All people will need emotional healing at some point during their lives—we all experience challenges and difficult emotions that need processing.

Some common life stressors after which people may seek emotional healing include:

• Loss of a loved one
• Divorce
• Breakups
• Job loss
• Abuse (including emotional, physical, and sexual)
• Illness

Outside of specific events, it’s also possible to experience intensifying, lingering, and seemingly unshakeable anger, sadness, or anxiety that feels like it is taking over your life. These feelings may cause a functional impairment in your day-to-day life. Emotional healing may look different if symptoms are becoming chronic.

No matter what the trigger for your difficult emotions, emotional healing is possible in all of these scenarios.

Questions to Ask Yourself Before Healing

We won’t sugarcoat it—emotional healing is not an easy process, but it can be incredibly rewarding for many people and help them find clarity and inspiration in life beyond whatever it is they are healing from. Here are some questions you might want to ask yourself as you embark on your healing journey.

What are you healing from? Maybe you don’t know, but you know you’d like things to be different:

• How is not healing affecting your life?
• What do you want your life to look like after you’ve healed?
• If you woke tomorrow, how would you know you had healed?
• Are you ready to heal?
• Are you willing to sit through some discomfort in service of healing?
• What will help you on your emotional healing journey?
• How has not yet healing served you?
• What can you do to make your healing journey gentle for yourself?

Tips for You As You Heal

As you work through the healing process, here are some tips that can help:

Practice Self-Compassion

You’re not broken. It’s pretty hard to heal if you’re beating yourself up all the time. That’s why showing yourself kindness and compassion can be key to your emotional healing.

Research has shown that people who practice self-compassion show more significant increases in well-being than those who don’t.

Thank Yourself

Thank yourself. Yes, that’s right—thank yourself. Despite the emotional pain you’ve experienced that’s leading you on this emotional healing journey, you have made it this far. Whatever coping mechanisms you used worked for you at the time, even if they don’t work now, or weren’t the “healthiest” in the first place. 

While past coping mechanisms might not serve you now, you’ve made it this far. You’ve shown you have the strength and resolve to find new strategies that will move your forward toward healing.

Don’t Go it Alone

Science shows we heal better together. Your instinct might be to go into hiding until you are “done” healing, but the reality is that your friends and family probably want to help you! Reach out to someone who feels safe.

Don’t Try to “Fix” it All at Once

Emotional healing is not simple, and whatever happened to you likely has deeper roots in you than you realized and may be affecting you in many ways. Back to being realistic: don’t expect to fix all the ways your issue or trauma has affected you all at once.

Sit Through It

This may be one of the hardest things to do. You are likely experiencing a range of deep feelings such as sadness, grief or rage. Those aren’t fun emotions and it’s tempting to want to ignore them or rush through them. It will be uncomfortable, but acknowledging tough feelings is part of healing. The good news is that feelings do pass even if it doesn’t feel like they will.

Know That Progress Isn’t Linear

You may feel like you are making the best breakthroughs, and then you have a terrible day where you feel like all of your emotional healing has been undone—or that you did something wrong. If you broke a leg, you might have a bad day where you’re in pain again despite a sustained period of healing. 

Benefits of Emotional Healing

You may not like the pain that you’re in, but maybe you’re afraid to work on emotional healing because you’re afraid of what you might find in the process. This is a valid concern, but here are some of the health benefits that are associated with the positive emotions associated with healing.

• Better cardiovascular health
• Potentially longer lifespan 
• Lower cortisol (stress hormone) output
• Lower heart rate
• Less likely to develop upper respiratory infection when exposed to a common cold or flu

How to Find Emotional Healing

If you’re trying to heal your emotional pain, here are some ways that you can embark on your journey to emotional healing.

Therapy 

Emotional healing can be incredibly rewarding but it can also be painful in the interim. You might want to consider talking to a mental health professional who is trained in working with people on emotional healing journeys every day.

They can help you heal at a pace that is appropriate for you and provide the insight you might not be able to reach on your own. 

Mindfulness

When we are attempting emotional healing from something, it can be very easy to get pulled back into past events or to catastrophize what the future will be like if you don’t heal. Mindfulness practices can help you be in the present moment and see that, at this moment, you are just fine.

Journaling is often suggested—and for good reason. Research has shown that journaling may be an effective tool for building greater emotional resilience.

Research suggests that many emotions tend to be fairly short-lived. Some last longer than others. Challenging emotions like shame, fear, disgust, boredom, and irritability tend to fade the fastest. 

This information can help emotions feel less overwhelming. When an emotion overcomes you, you can keep an eye on the clock to note how long it takes before the feeling dissipates—employing mindfulness skills in the meantime.

You can perform exercises to ground yourself such as putting your feet on the floor, drinking a sip of water, or running cold water over your hands.

Move Your Body

As you’re experiencing difficult emotions, try to move your body to help process your feelings. Move your body as it wants to move (i.e., slowly or quickly, shaking or running).

Moving the body to process stress or trauma can be seen in the animal kingdom as well. In his book “Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma,” therapist Peter A. Levine notes that in the wild, an impala that escapes its predator will instinctively “shake off” the traumatic event, regaining full movement of its body.

Get Support

Social support can also play a vital role in emotional healing. Be open to receiving support from your community. Allow yourself to be seen, supported, and cared for by friends and loved ones.

How Do I Know If I Am Healing?

There is no finish line to cross that signifies you are fully healed! Emotional healing can sometimes be so gradual you may not even realize how much you’ve healed, and others may notice it before you.

There may be deeper and deeper levels of emotional healing to be discovered. Do your best to live in a way that honors and supports your continued journey of emotional healing. This will allow you to experience ever-expanding emotional healing that can improve your physical, emotional, and mental health, well-being, satisfaction in life, and connection to yourself and others.

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Friendships can be one of our greatest sources of joy in life, giving us outlets for our thoughts and feelings and making us feel seen and cared for. Quality friendships are important to our overall wellness, increasing our satisfaction in our lives.

On the other hand, friendships can also be a huge source of stress, particularly when what you give and what you get don’t align. That impacts our health negatively, as much as great relationships do positively.

The word “toxic” is thrown around a lot these days, used as an insult whenever a person disapproves of someone else’s behavior. But the truth is that some friendships are, indeed, toxic. “Toxic behaviors are ways of acting that demean or gaslight others and generally make them feel bad about themselves and your relationship,” says Dr. Patrice Le Goy.

How can you tell if you’re in a toxic friendship, and what should you do about it? Here are the signs to look out for.

How Can You Tell If a Friend Is Toxic?

If you can relate to the below, you might be friends with someone who could be considered toxic.

They Behave Selfishly

Le Goy explains that “toxic friends may only focus on themselves and their needs, and do not ask about you or ensure your needs are met.” This is pretty straightforward: How much time in each hangout or call is spent on them, rather than you? Life in general should be 50:50 with friends, not always focused on one person or the other.

They’re Critical of You

Do you feel like whenever you talk to your friend, they have something negative to say about you? This could be criticism of your behavior, your appearance, your relationship, your performance at work, your family, or any other element of your life. Friends are meant to uplift you, not cause you to worry you aren’t good enough.

They’re Too Competitive

Friendship isn’t meant to have a winner! Rather, the point of friendship is support, and friends should want you to do well. If your friend behaves jealously when you tell them good news you’ve received, or if they constantly point out areas where they are doing better in life, those are toxic behaviors.

They Bring You Down

“You know you have a toxic friend if you notice that every time you interact with them, you feel worse than you did before,” Le Goy says. This could happen because they’re critical, or manipulative, or compete with you. Whatever the reason, if you walk away from your interactions feeling worse instead of better, there’s a problem.

They Manipulate You

Friends shouldn’t guilt one another into activities, and they should prioritize your needs as much as their own. You shouldn’t leave a hangout feeling like you’ve done things you didn’t want to just to please your friend. When you point out their manipulation to them, if they tell you you’re wrong or crazy, they may be gaslighting you. That’s a toxic trait too.

They Can’t Be Trusted

Your secrets should be kept by your friends, and you shouldn’t have to worry about that. “They may share your secrets or gossip about you with other friends. If you don’t feel that you can trust someone or that they want the best for you, they are likely a toxic friend,” explains Le Goy.

The Drama Never Stops

Is there always something going on with your friend, particularly centered around how someone has wronged or is wronging them? Toxic friends take the drama with them wherever they go. This kind of self-centeredness could also be a sign of narcissism.

They’re Insincere

Maybe your friend admits when they wrong you, but you don’t feel like their apology is genuine. Or maybe when they do have something nice to say to you, your instincts tell you they don’t really mean it. They might just be saying something nice because they want something from you. Pay attention to your friend’s actions, not just their words.

They’re Unreliable

You should be able to count on your friends. If someone flakes on you, isn’t available when you need to talk about something going on in your life, and only seems to be available when they need you, you may be dealing with a toxic friend.

They Isolate You

A toxic friend may try to create distance between you and the other relationships in your life. This can be done by criticizing your partner, spreading gossip about your friends, or even speaking negatively about your coworkers. A toxic friend will do this so that you become more reliant on them, and therefore more stuck in the friendship.

Wait, Could the Toxic Friend Be Me?

Of course, before we decide our friend is the problem we should be sure that’s the case. “Generally, it is easier to notice the faults in other people, rather than recognizing areas we ourselves can improve,” says Le Goy. Because of this, you should take a moment to reflect on whether your friend is toxic or you are—as difficult as that may be.

Le Goy explains that the most straightforward way to do that is to reflect on the other relationships in your life, outside of this one. “A good way to recognize if you are the problem or if it is the other person is to consider how healthy your other relationships are. If you generally have positive, trusting relationships and only major issues with one person, they are likely the issue” she suggests.

If you are being honest with yourself, and recognize that all of your relationships except this one are healthy and fulfilling—and you feel content with them—your first thought was probably right, and your friend is the toxic one, not you.

How Toxic Friendships Can Impact Our Mental Health

It should be no surprise that toxic friendships are bad for us and can cause us harm. “Toxic friendships can be so damaging to our mental health,” says Le Goy. She notes that humans are hardwired to seek connection and close relationships with supporting, loving people.

She says that even once we know our friendship is toxic, we still might hang on to it. We might feel loyal to our friend because they were decent in the past, or perhaps they’ve manipulated us into thinking that no one will have our backs as well as they do—even if their version of that isn’t as great as they make it sound.

Staying in a toxic friendship is the wrong choice, even if leaving it feels like it would be very challenging. “The constant bombardment of negativity in toxic friendships can lead to depression, anxiety, and doubts about our self-worth,” says Le Goy.

How to Deal With Toxic Friends

Fair warning: Dealing with a toxic friend is not likely to go smoothly. The fact that your friend has already exhibited significant enough toxic behavior for you to want to end the friendship means that they probably aren’t going to take any actions well. Whether you try to confront them or straight up distance yourself from the relationship, they’re unlikely to let this go quietly.

“You may hope to end the friendship in an open and honest way, but that is not always possible,” says Le Goy. She explains, “for example, if your friend is a narcissist, they may be unwilling to accept that they are the problem and they may even try to charm their way back into your good graces. Other types of toxic friends may attempt to turn others against you.”

Knowing that it may be hard doesn’t mean you should remain inactive. You may want to end the relationship, or you may wish to give your friend a chance to make amends first. Whichever approach you take, be protective of your emotional wellness.

Confronting a toxic friend about their behavior gives them an opportunity to improve, should you feel they deserve one, and cutting one out of your life makes space for your other, more loving friends to be closer to you. “You owe yourself the space to develop safe and healthy friendships more than you owe a toxic friend multiple opportunities to treat you poorly,” says Le Goy.

What to do if your friend doesn’t own up to their behavior? “If they don’t respect your decision to end the relationship, then you may have to accept that and move on without closure. Also, not respecting your decision might be the confirmation that you need that the friendship is toxic,” she says.

Life is hard enough with great friends, let alone bad ones, and having friends who bring you down simply isn’t worth your time or energy. With these tips, you can move forward to migrate away from the toxic behaviors of others, and have more room for friends who will treat you with kindness and love.