Posts in category: Dating Tips, Guide and Advice

Intellectual functioning can affect a person’s risk of developing a psychiatric disorder or substance use disorder. If functioning is below that of the general population, yet not low enough to be classified as an intellectual disability, the person may be diagnosed with borderline intellectual functioning—potentially putting them at greater risk of these types of issues.

Here we explore what borderline intellectual functioning is and the criteria for diagnosis. We also discuss the impacts of a borderline intellectual disability on a person’s life and how to get help if this type of condition is suspected.

What Is Borderline Intellectual Functioning?

Borderline intellectual functioning refers to intelligence quotient (IQ) scores within the 71 to 84 range on an intelligence test. This is roughly one to two standard deviations below that of the general population.

It is called borderline because it’s on the border of the criteria required for the diagnosis of an intellectual disability in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). According to the DSM, an intellectual disability exists when a person’s IQ score is 70 or below.

Causes of Reduced Intellectual Functioning

Several factors can contribute to the development of an intellectual disability. They include:

• Brain malformation
• Exposure to toxins like mercury or lead
• Genetic disorders, such as Down syndrome or Fragile X syndrome
• Having an illness like meningitis or measles
• Maternal consumption of alcohol or drugs during pregnancy
• Maternal infection during pregnancy or problems at birth
• Traumatic brain injury

How Borderline Intellectual Functioning Is Diagnosed

In the DSM-IV, the fourth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, there was a diagnostic category called “mental retardation.” This diagnosis was made largely through standardized IQ tests. In 2013, when the new DSM-5 was released, mental retardation disappeared and in its place was “intellectual development disorder.”

Someone with an IQ of 70 or below is considered to have an intellectual disability under this diagnosis. If their IQ is between 71 and 84, they are considered to have borderline intellectual functioning.

While IQ scores play an important role in recognizing intellectual development disorders, other factors are also taken into consideration. According to the American Psychiatric Association, which publishes the DSM, intellectual disability involves issues with functioning in two areas:

• Intellectual functioning: such as learning, problem-solving, and judgment
• Adaptive functioning: activities of daily living, such as communication and independent living

Impacts of a Borderline Intellectual Disability

People with borderline intellectual disability have a greater risk of developing mental health issues than someone with an average or above-average level of intelligence. This risk is higher for almost all psychiatric disorders, including personality disorders.

Research also indicates that people with substance use disorder have a higher prevalence of borderline intellectual functioning than that of the general population. While this study doesn’t establish cause and effect, it does show a connection.

This research also found that during substance use disorder treatment, people with borderline intellectual functioning typically experience greater psychological distress. This can impact their treatment outcomes.

Getting Help for Borderline Intellectual Functioning

A person with a borderline intellectual disability will likely need someone else’s help to advocate for them and to learn important self-care skills. A mental health professional or other healthcare provider can connect them with resources available that can assist with this. State or federal services may also be available.

In the past, because of the weight given to IQ alone, people with scores between 70 and 85 were generally denied access to the services and support available to people with scores below 70. Today, however, there is more of an emphasis on an individual’s ability to function and manage daily living skills.

The determination of whether a person will or will not receive services depends upon many factors, some of which include:

• Whether there is another diagnosis. For example, an individual with autism spectrum disorder and an IQ of 75 may have significantly more difficulty with daily life activities than an individual with Down syndrome and the same IQ.
• Where the individual lives. Rules regarding agency services vary from state to state.
• The kind of support available to an individual. This is determined, in part, based on their living situation.
• If the individual has physical challenges that make it difficult for them to perform ordinary life skills. Some genetic disorders can cause both lowered IQs and also poor muscle tone, reduced coordination, and other physical issues.

Contacting one’s local Department of Health and Human Services is a good place to start when trying to determine the resources available to people with intellectual disabilities. Healthcare providers, including mental health practitioners, can assist with this as well.

Depression is a common cause of fatigue, so you might be wondering whether your fatigue is a result of depression. But just because you’re tired all the time doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re depressed.

The fact is there are many underlying conditions that could be responsible for feeling tired all the time. From mood disorders to issues affecting your physical health like chronic fatigue syndrome, the following psychiatric and medical conditions are some of the most common ailments associated with fatigue.

But first, it’s important to note that many of these conditions share symptoms similar to depression, so we’ll start there. By understanding the distinctions between depression and other factors that cause fatigue, you can seek out the right treatment and start to feel like your energetic self again.

Psychiatric Factors

Depression

Depression, which research suggests is associated with an imbalance of neurotransmitters in the brain, is commonly linked with fatigue. The condition is also associated with disturbed sleep, which can also significantly contribute to tiredness. While some people may have difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep, others may oversleep. Both of these sleep disturbances can leave you feeling apathetic and sluggish.

Other symptoms associated with depression include:

• Appetite and/or weight changes
• Difficulty thinking, concentrating, or making decisions
• Fatigue or loss of energy
• Feelings of guilt or worthlessness
• Lack of interest in activities normally enjoyed
• Persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” mood
• Thoughts of death or suicide

If you think you may be experiencing depression, talk to your doctor. They can refer you to a therapist who can help you manage your emotions or another mental health professional such as a psychiatrist who may also recommend antidepressants. Don’t let depression go untreated.

Anxiety

Anxiety and anxiety disorders are often associated with fatigue as well as sleep disturbances. Sleep deprivation may also contribute to feelings of anxiety, which perpetuates a cycle of both anxiety and sleeplessness. This, of course, can make it difficult to manage both conditions.

The following are common anxiety disorders that may be associated with sleep disruptions and fatigue:

• Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD): Fatigue is a common symptom of GAD, which is characterized by excessive worry about a number of events and activities accompanied by a variety of physical and emotional symptoms.
• Social anxiety disorder (SAD): People with SAD have excessive fear about certain social situations that might expose them to possible scrutiny.
• Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD): A person’s internal obsessions and compulsive behaviors can be draining and impact sleep. OCD and depression are often comorbid conditions.
• Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD): Flashbacks and nightmares are commonly associated with PTSD, which can develop following a traumatic event and lead to debilitating levels of anxiety. The increased arousal and anxiety as well as the sleep disturbances that are part of PTSD can leave one feeling depleted and tired.
• Panic disorder: The excessive worry associated with panic disorder can cause insomnia and fatigue. Those with panic disorders may also experience nocturnal panic attacks.
• Specific phobias: Those with specific phobias have an intense, usually irrational fear associated with a particular trigger.

Stress

Stress can lead to sleepless nights. Stress can also wear you down and cause you to feel fatigued. We’ve all experienced the repercussions of stress at one time or another. If left unmanaged, stress can also wreak havoc on your mood. Stress can be a trigger for depression and anxiety disorders.

Like anxiety, stress can contribute to poor sleep and poor sleep can create stress. For instance, you know that you need to get a good night’s sleep so that you have energy the next day, but you might have trouble falling asleep because you are worried that you aren’t going to get enough sleep.

Fortunately, there are many ways to combat stress that don’t require sleep aids or medications. mind-body techniques such as yoga nidra, or “yogic sleep,” and meditation can help you manage stress and sleep better so you can wake up feeling refreshed with more energy.

Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar disorder is characterized by extreme shifts in mood, energy, and activity. Insomnia, nightmares, and erratic sleep-wake cycles are common among people with bipolar disorder, contributing to fatigue and general tiredness.

Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a common psychiatric condition among both children and adults and is commonly associated with a variety of sleep disturbances that can contribute to daytime sleepiness. Many of the medications used to treat ADHD can also impact sleep.

Sleep patterns and habits are usually assessed when treating ADHD. In fact, research has shown that interventions to improve sleep hygiene can help reduce the severity of ADHD symptoms and increase the person’s overall quality of life.

Physical Health Factors

Often, physical health issues such as thyroid problems and chronic fatigue syndrome can result in fatigue symptoms resembling depression. It’s also possible that fibromyalgia, sleep apnea, or an autoimmune disorder such as rheumatoid arthritis or lupus could cause you to feel tired all the time.

Here are some physical factors that could be draining your energy and what you can do about it.

Underactive Thyroid

If you have an underactive thyroid (hypothyroidism) simple activities can leave you feeling wiped out. Your thyroid is a small gland in the front of your neck that produces hormones that regulate your metabolism. When it’s not producing enough of these hormones, your metabolism slows down. This can lead to fatigue, weight gain, and even depression.

The traditional treatment for hypothyroidism involves medications that increase thyroid levels in your body. Symptoms of fatigue may get better or go away once the thyroid condition has been treated appropriately with medication. To confirm the diagnosis, your doctor will use blood tests to look at your levels of thyroid hormones including thyroxine and thyroid-stimulating hormone (TSH).

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

Chronic fatigue syndrome, now known as myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome (ME/CFS), is a condition characterized by a reduction in the ability to engage in activities, along with profound fatigue. This is often accompanied by unrefreshing sleep, cognitive issues, and changes in blood pressure and pulse.

Those with chronic fatigue still have an interest in activities but lack the energy and capacity to do them. Because CFS shares symptoms with other medical and psychiatric illnesses, it is not uncommon for it to be diagnosed as depression or another psychiatric condition. People may also experience both CFS and a psychiatric condition at the same time.

Fibromyalgia

Fibromyalgia seems to overlap with chronic fatigue, but people with this disorder also have chronic pain all over their bodies. The disorder is usually diagnosed by tender points in certain muscles that respond with pain when touched a certain way. Sleep disturbance is also common in chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia. Research is ongoing into the causes of fibromyalgia. 

There is no specific test that can diagnose fibromyalgia. Instead, doctors must rely on an assessment of your health history and symptoms. Diagnosis typically requires the presence of widespread chronic pain, fatigue, and sleep disturbance. Treatment for fibromyalgia usually involves a combination of medication and lifestyle changes.

Autoimmune Disorders

Autoimmune disorders involve the immune system attacking the body. Rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, and celiac disease are examples of autoimmune disorders. Autoimmune processes have also been implicated in certain types of diabetes and multiple sclerosis (MS).

While these conditions aren’t as common as depression, they can present with similar symptoms. In fact, according to some research, depression-like symptoms are present in up to 50% of patients with autoimmune disorders. These symptoms typically emerge over the course of the disease and are associated with psychosocial factors, chronic pain, and long periods of disability.

Dealing with an autoimmune disorder can also increase your risk of developing depression. Results of one large study showed that a prior hospital contact because of an autoimmune disease increased the subsequent risk of mood disorder diagnosis by 45%.

Sleep Apnea

Sleep disorders, such as obstructive sleep apnea, can also cause many symptoms similar to those of depression. Obstructive sleep apnea is a condition where your breathing is interrupted during sleep for longer than 10 seconds. This can happen many times an hour.

These frequent interruptions interfere with your sleep quality, resulting in daytime fatigue, morning headaches, and poor concentration. It can also have a serious impact on your mood. One study found that approximately 46% of people with sleep apnea have symptoms of depression.

Iron-Deficiency Anemia

Your body uses iron to make hemoglobin, the part of the red blood cell that carries oxygen to all the parts of your body.

When you don’t have enough iron, your blood can’t carry enough oxygen to your body. This can leave you feeling sluggish, fatigued, and lightheaded. You may also have dull or pale skin and experience headaches, dizziness, and shortness of breath. 

Dehydration and Inadequate Nutrition

Staying hydrated and getting proper nutrition is important for keeping your energy levels up. Research shows that a lack of fluid intake is associated with sleep issues, fatigue, and alertness.

Not getting enough calories in your diet can also leave you feeling tired all the time, as can eating too many refined carbohydrates or not getting enough protein. Allergies to foods such as wheat or dairy may also contribute to tiredness.

Lifestyle Factors

If you don’t seem to have enough energy, it could be because you’re not getting enough physical activity. Research shows a sedentary lifestyle can lead to fatigue and difficulty sleeping.

Cigarettes and alcohol can also affect sleep quality and leave you feeling groggy the next day.

Tips for More Energy

Depending on the severity of your symptoms and whether you’ve been diagnosed with a psychiatric or medical condition, there are a few habits anyone can do to improve their quality of sleep and have more energy the next day.

• Exercise regularly. There’s plenty of evidence to show that regular exercise is good for your mental and physical health. You’ll have more energy and sleep better, too.
• Take short naps. Tired as you may be, sleeping too much during the day can affect your ability to fall or stay asleep at night. Taking short, 20- to 30-minute naps can give you a quick burst of rest without hindering your ability to fall asleep at bedtime.
• Establish a bedtime routine. Prepare for slumber each night with rituals to help you unwind. Take a hot shower or bath, read a paperback book, or meditate to calm your body and mind. Follow your bedtime routine each night to set the stage for a solid night’s sleep. Be sure to make your bedroom as dark as possible, too.
• Avoid caffeine, alcohol, and other stimulants before bed. Drinking coffee, soda, or other caffeinated beverages in the late afternoon or evening can make it difficult to fall asleep and stay asleep, as can drinking alcohol. If you smoke cigarettes, consider quitting.
• Power down your devices. Leave the screens in another room. Scrolling before bedtime can make it more difficult for your mind to wind down and prepare for sleep. The light your device produces can also negatively impact your sleep. Make the bedroom a no-phone zone, if possible.

From the moment a child is born, important developmental processes begin to take place. Many of the early reflexes a child displays, like rooting to find food or startling in response to sound, serve as ways to learn more about the world around them. According to the theorist Jean Piaget, the earliest period of a child’s life helps set the stage for future development by helping children learn more about themselves, others, and the world around them.

Piaget’s theory suggests that children progress through a series of four different stages of cognitive development. These stages encompass numerous aspects of mental development including that reasoning, language, morals, and memory. Piaget believed that kids take an active role in this cognitive development, building knowledge as they interact with the world.

Keep reading to learn more about how sensorimotor development works, the six sub-stages that occur during this phase of development, and the important developments that occur.

An Overview of the Sensorimotor Stage

The sensorimotor stage is the period of development from birth through age two. During this initial phase of development, children utilize skills and abilities they were born with (such as looking, sucking, grasping, and listening) to learn more about the environment.

Babies are born with a limited range of abilities, but they use those skills to learn more about the world around them. While it might seem like an infant mostly eats and sleeps, their interactions with caregivers and their environment provide a wealth of information that supports their cognitive growth.

In other words, infants and young children experience the world and gain knowledge through their senses and motor movements. Through trial and error, children discover more about the world around them.

The abilities that an infant is born with—sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch—combined with physical capabilities that continue to develop—including touching, grasping, and tasting—allow infants to interact and build awareness of themselves and what is around them. 

As children interact with their environments, they go through an astonishing amount of cognitive growth in a relatively short period of time—the sensorimotor stage lasts from birth to approximately age 2.

Stages of the Sensorimotor Stage

As any parent or caregiver can attest, a great deal of learning and development happens during the first two years of a child’s life. All of the changes that infants and toddlers go through during those first two years of life represent different aspects of this stage of development.

The sensorimotor stage can be divided into six separate sub-stages that are characterized by the development of a new skill:

Reflexes (0-1 month)

During this substage, the child understands the environment purely through inborn reflexes such as sucking and looking.

Primary Circular Reactions (1-4 months)

This substage involves coordinating sensation and new schemas. For example, a child may suck their thumb by accident and then later intentionally repeat the action. These actions are repeated because the infant finds them pleasurable.

Secondary Circular Reactions (4-8 months)

During this substage, the child becomes more focused on the world and begins to intentionally repeat an action to trigger a response in the environment. For example, a child will purposefully pick up a toy and put it in their mouth.

Coordination of Reactions (8-12 months)

During this substage, the child starts to show clearly intentional actions. The child may also combine schemas in order to achieve the desired effect. Children begin exploring the environment around them and will often imitate the observed behavior of others.

The understanding of objects also begins during this time and children begin to recognize certain objects as having specific qualities. For example, a child might realize that a rattle will make a sound when shaken.

Tertiary Circular Reactions (12-18 months)

Children begin a period of trial-and-error experimentation during the fifth substage. For example, a child may try out different sounds or actions as a way of getting attention from a caregiver.

Early Representational Thought (18-24 months)

Children begin to develop symbols to represent events or objects in the world in the final sensorimotor substage. During this time, children begin to move towards understanding the world through mental operations rather than purely through actions.

Object Permanence in the Sensorimotor Stage

According to Piaget, developing object permanence is one of the most important accomplishments at the sensorimotor stage of development.

Imagine a game of peek-a-boo, for example. A very young infant will believe that the other person or object has actually vanished and will act shocked or startled when the object reappears. Older infants who understand object permanence will realize that the person or object continues to exist even when unseen.

This is a classic example of how, during this stage, an infant’s knowledge of the world is limited to their sensory perceptions and motor activities and how behaviors are limited to simple motor responses caused by sensory stimuli.

Supporting Healthy Sensorimotor Development

So, what can parents and caregivers do to help foster healthy cognitive development during the sensorimotor stage? 

Providing responsive care is essential. During this period of development, children learn many things, including whether they can trust those around them. This helps set the stage not only for further cognitive growth but also for other important developmental skills, including trust and secure attachment.

Other ways to support health sensorimotor development include:

• Playing with your child
• Talking to your child
• Giving your child opportunities to explore 
• Letting your child engage in self-led play
• Using sensory experiences to help your child learn about the world
• Looking at and reading books with textures a child can touch and feel

The trust vs. mistrust stage is the first stage of psychologist Erik Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development. It begins at birth and lasts until a child is around 18 months to two years old.

According to Erikson, this is the most important period of a child’s life, as it shapes their view of the world as well as their overall personality.

Erikson’s psychosocial development theory has seven other stages that span throughout a person’s lifetime. At each stage, people face conflicts that either result in psychological strengthening or weakening.

The Importance of Trust

Babies are almost entirely dependent on their caregivers. So, the ways that parents interact with their babies have a profound effect on a child’s health.

Erikson believed that early patterns of trust influence a child’s social and emotional development. If a child successfully develops trust, they will feel safe and secure in the world. According to his theory, a parent essentially shapes their child’s perception and future relationships.

However, it’s important to remember that trust and mistrust exist on a spectrum. People aren’t either completely trusting or completely mistrusting.

For example, there will be times when a baby’s needs go unmet. A healthy amount of mistrust of our environment as infants prepares us as adults to be cautious and self-protective when necessary.

The key is that an infant’s trustworthy relationships and interactions outweigh, for the most part, their untrustworthy ones. According to Erikson, this will give them a better sense of how to trust themselves and the world around them.

Trust vs. Mistrust Examples

The following are examples of what builds trust between an infant and caregiver:

• An infant’s caregivers create a safe environment in which the infant feels protected.
• A mother or father is attentive to their baby’s needs (the baby is fed regularly, given affection consistently, etc.).
• A parent reassures their infant when the infant is scared and comforts them when they are in distress.

An infant learns to depend on their caregivers, and in turn, learns that the world is safe and will take care of their needs.

The following are examples of what builds mistrust between an infant and caregiver:

• When an infant cries out, their caregiver isn’t available to meet their needs.
• A mother or father is inconsistent in feeding their infant.
• A caregiver doesn’t comfort the infant when they are scared or uncomfortable.
• The caregiver allows the infant’s environment to become unsafe, and as a result, the infant feels insecure and unsafe.

How To Build Trust

The primary way you can build trust with your baby is to respond when they try to communicate with you. Because babies can’t use words to express themselves, they use nonverbal strategies to communicate what they’re thinking and feeling at all times.

Crying is one of the most common strategies babies use to communicate with their caregivers, and it carries different meanings. Usually, babies cry to let you know that they need one of the following:

• Affection: Erikson believed that an infant’s cries communicated an important message to caregivers. Such cries indicate an unmet need, and it is up to caregivers to determine how to fulfill that need.
• Comfort: It is important for caregivers to provide comfort to an infant by holding them closely and securely. This provides both warmth and physical contact. Feeding, bathing, and comforting your child helps them learn to trust that their needs will be met.
• Food: Erikson also believed that feeding played a pivotal role in the development of trust. By feeding an infant when the child is hungry, they learn that they can trust their need for nourishment will be met.

Every baby communicates differently, so becoming familiar with your baby’s communication style is the key to success at this stage. Noticing and responding to these signals, whether they are cries, body movements, coos, or even words, helps them learn to trust you and the world around them.

Consequences of Mistrust

One study done with female twins, both identical and fraternal, concluded that a trusting personality seems to be at least in part genetic, while a mistrustful or distrusting personality seems to be learned from family and other social influences.

Children raised by consistently unreliable, unpredictable parents who fail to meet their basic needs eventually develop an overall sense of mistrust.

Children and adults with low levels of trust may be more likely to:

Mistrust can cause children to become fearful, confused, and anxious, making it difficult to form healthy relationships.

Research shows that being raised in an untrustworthy environment may actually make a child more trusting of untrustworthy people. Researchers believe this is due to an adaptive mechanism that makes it possible for a child to form an attachment bond to an untrustworthy caregiver.

For instance, studies have found that children who were previously in foster care homes where they were mistreated were more likely to display behavior such as sitting in a stranger’s lap or walking off with a stranger, whereas children who weren’t in foster care homes did not display this behavior.

Consequences of Over-Trusting

Interestingly, being overly-trusting is linked with the same negative consequences as being under-trusting.

Ultimately, children must experience trust, along with some degree of mistrust, in order to learn to trust in themselves and their relationships as adults.

Learning to Trust

If you experienced an unsafe environment or untrustworthy relationships as an infant, you may face difficulties with trust as an adult. But your childhood experiences don’t have to define you.

Research has found, for instance, that children who were neglected while in institutional care experienced significant improvements in their social and behavioral functioning once adopted into nurturing families.

The following are ways that may help you on your journey of shifting your mindset into a more trusting one:

• Show compassion: Showing yourself and others compassion and understanding may be helpful in improving trust. Compassion is a tool that serves to remind us that we are all human and we all struggle at times.
• Try mindfulness: Mindfulness practices such as meditation can teach you how to feel your emotions without judging them.
• Process feelings: Journaling, confiding in a trusted loved one, and letting yourself cry are just a few ways of emotional processing. You may find that a counselor or therapist is a valuable resource. For instance, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) focuses on helping people reframe old, limiting beliefs into new, proactive ones.
• Consider your environment: When healing from trauma, try to make your environment as safe as possible and interact with people who support you.

Final Thoughts

The trust versus mistrust stage serves as a foundation of development. The outcomes of this stage can influence the rest of childhood and adulthood in profound ways.

Of course, while it is essential for parents to provide responsive, dependable care, there’s no need to despair if you experienced mistrust as an infant. Human beings are adaptable, and it is possible to rebuild your sense of trust in yourself and in others.

Subscribe Now: Apple Podcasts / Spotify / Google Podcasts

How Mindset Forms

So how is your mindset created in the first place? Dweck’s research reveals two primary sources: praising and labeling, both of which occur in early childhood.

The Impact of Praise

In a landmark series of experiments, Dweck and her colleagues found that kids behaved very differently depending on the type of praise they received. They found that personal praise, or praising a child’s talents or labeling them as “smart,” promotes a fixed mindset. It sends a message to a child that they either have an ability or they don’t, and that there is nothing they can do to change that fact.  

Process praise, on the other hand, emphasizes the effort a person puts in to accomplish a task. It implies their success is due to the effort and the strategy they used, both of which they can control and improve over time. 

Here’s an example of how they’re different. If your child gets a good grade on a math test, personal praise might be, “See, you are good at math. You got an A on your test.” Process praise, on the other hand, might sound like this: “I’m impressed by how hard you studied for your math test. You read the material over several times, asked your teacher to help you figure out the tricky problems, and tested yourself on it. That really worked!”

The Impact of Labels

Labeling, which involves assigning people characteristics based on stereotypes or associations with different groups, can also lead to the development of fixed or growth mindsets. A person who holds a stereotype that girls are bad at math or that boys are bad at reading may form a fixed mindset about their own abilities in those specific domains.

For example, researchers have found that just having students check boxes about sex and race was enough to invoke internalized stereotypes that affected test performance.

The Impact of Mindset

Your mindset plays a critical role in how you cope with life’s challenges. When a child has a growth mindset, they tend to have a hunger for learning and a desire to work hard and discover new things. This often translates into academic achievement.

As adults, these same people are more likely to persevere in the face of setbacks. Instead of throwing in the towel, adults with a growth mindset view it as an opportunity to learn and grow. On the other hand, those with fixed mindsets are more likely to give up in the face of challenging circumstances.

In her book “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success,” Dweck writes that those with fixed mindsets are constantly seeking the validation to prove their worth not just to others, but also to themselves.

What Is My Mindset?

Do you have a fixed or growth mindset? To find out, start by reading the following statements and decide which ones you agree with most:

1. You’re born with a certain amount of intelligence and it isn’t something that can be changed.
2. No matter who you are, there isn’t much you can do to improve your basic abilities and personality.
3. People are capable of changing who they are.
4. You can learn new things and improve your intelligence.
5. People either have particular talents, or they don’t. You can’t just acquire talent for things like music, writing, art, or athletics.
6. Studying, working hard, and practicing new skills are all ways to develop new talents and abilities.

If you tend to agree most with statements 1, 2, and 5, then you probably have a more fixed mindset. If you agree most with statements 3, and 4, 6, however, then you probably tend to have a growth mindset.

How to Unfix a Fixed Mindset

While people with a fixed mindset might not agree, Dweck suggests that people are capable of changing their mindsets. Here’s how.

• Focus on the journey. An important factor when building a growth mindset is seeing the value in your journey. When you’re fixated on the end result, you miss out on all the things you could be learning along the way.
• Incorporate “yet.” If you’re struggling with a task, remind yourself that you just haven’t mastered it “yet.” Integrating this word into your vocabulary signals that despite any struggles, you can overcome anything. 
• Pay attention to your words and thoughts. Replace negative thoughts with more positive ones to build a growth mindset.
• Take on challenges. Making mistakes is one of the best ways to learn. So, instead of shying away from challenges, embrace them.

A dream theory is a proposed explanation for why people dream that is backed by scientific evidence. Despite scientific inquiry, we still don’t have a solid answer for why people dream. Some of the most notable theories are that dreaming helps us process memories and better understand our emotions, also providing a way to express what we want or to practice facing our challenges.

What Is a Dream Theory?

A dream theory focuses on understanding the nature and purpose of dreams. Studying dreams can be challenging since they can vary greatly in how they are remembered and what they are about.

Dreams include the images, thoughts, and emotions that are experienced during sleep. They can range from extraordinarily intense or emotional to very vague, fleeting, confusing, or even boring.

Some dreams are joyful, while others are frightening or sad. Sometimes dreams seem to have a clear narrative, while many others appear to make no sense at all.

Beyond what’s in a particular dream, there is the question of why we dream at all. Below, we detail the most prominent theories on the purpose of dreaming and how these explanations can be applied to specific dreams.

How Do Scientists Study Dreams?

The question of why we dream has fascinated philosophers and scientists for thousands of years. Traditionally, dream content is measured by the subjective recollections of the dreamer upon waking. However, observation is also accomplished through objective evaluation in a lab.

In one study, researchers even created a rudimentary dream content map that was able to track what people dreamed about in real time using magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) patterns. The map was then backed up by the dreamers’ reports upon waking.

What Dream Theory Suggests About the Role of Dreams

Some of the more prominent dream theories suggest that the reason we dream is to:

• Consolidate memories
• Process emotions
• Express our deepest desires
• Gain practice confronting potential dangers

Many experts believe that we dream due to a combination of these reasons rather than any one particular theory. Additionally, while many researchers believe that dreaming is essential to mental, emotional, and physical well-being, some scientists suggest that dreams serve no real purpose at all.

Dreaming during different phases of sleep may also serve unique purposes. The most vivid dreams happen during rapid eye movement (REM) sleep, and these are the dreams that we’re most likely to recall. We also dream during non-rapid eye movement (non-REM) sleep, but those dreams are known to be remembered less often and have more mundane content.

Sigmund Freud’s Dream Theory

Sigmund Freud’s theory of dreams suggests that dreams represent unconscious desires, thoughts, wish fulfillment, and motivations. According to Freud, people are driven by repressed and unconscious longings, such as aggressive and sexual instincts.

While many of Freud’s assertions have been debunked, research suggests there is a dream rebound effect, also known as dream rebound theory, in which suppression of a thought tends to result in dreaming about it.

Activation-Synthesis Dream Theory

According to the activation-synthesis model of dreaming, which was first proposed by J. Allan Hobson and Robert McCarley, circuits in the brain become activated during REM sleep, which triggers the amygdala and hippocampus to create an array of electrical impulses. This results in a compilation of random thoughts, images, and memories that appear while dreaming.

When we wake, our active minds pull together the dream’s various images and memory fragments to create a cohesive narrative. 

Self-Organization Dream Theory

According to the information-processing theory, sleep allows us to consolidate and process all of the information and memories that we have collected during the previous day. Some dream experts suggest that dreaming is a byproduct, or even an active part, of this experience processing. 

During this process of unconscious information redistribution, it is suggested that memories are either strengthened or weakened. According to the self-organization theory of dreaming, while we dream, helpful memories are made stronger, while less useful ones fade away.

Research supports this theory, finding improvement in complex tasks when a person dreams about doing them. Studies also show that during REM sleep, low-frequency theta waves were more active in the frontal lobe, just like they are when people are learning, storing, and remembering information when awake.

Creativity and Problem-Solving Dream Theory

Another theory about dreams says that their purpose is to help us solve problems. In this creativity theory of dreaming, the unconstrained, unconscious mind is free to wander its limitless potential while unburdened by the often stifling realities of the conscious world. In fact, research has shown dreaming to be an effective promoter of creative thinking.

Scientific research and anecdotal evidence back up the fact that many people do successfully mine their dreams for inspiration and credit their dreams for their big “aha” moments.

Continuity Hypothesis Dream Theory

Under the continuity hypothesis, dreams function as a reflection of a person’s real life, incorporating conscious experiences into their dreams. Rather than a straightforward replay of waking life, dreams show up as a patchwork of memory fragments.

Still, studies show that non-REM sleep may be more involved with declarative memory (the more routine stuff), while REM dreams include more emotional and instructive memories.

Under the continuity hypothesis, memories may be fragmented purposefully in our dreams as part of incorporating new learning and experiences into long-term memory. Still, there are many unanswered questions as to why some aspects of memories are featured more or less prominently in our dreams.

Rehearsal and Adaptation Dream Theory

The primitive instinct rehearsal and adaptive strategy theories of dreaming propose that we dream to better prepare ourselves to confront dangers in the real world. The dream as a social simulation function or threat simulation provides the dreamer a safe environment to practice important survival skills.

While dreaming, we hone our fight-or-flight instincts and build mental capability for handling threatening scenarios. Under the threat simulation theory, our sleeping brains focus on the fight-or-flight mechanism to prep us for life-threatening and/or emotionally intense scenarios including:

• Running away from a pursuer
• Falling over a cliff
• Showing up somewhere naked
• Going to the bathroom in public
• Forgetting to study for a final exam

Emotional Regulation Dream Theory

The emotional regulation dream theory says that the function of dreams is to help us process and cope with our emotions or trauma in the safe space of slumber.

Research shows that the amygdala, which is involved in processing emotions, and the hippocampus, which plays a vital role in condensing information and moving it from short-term to long-term memory storage, are active during vivid, intense dreaming.

This theory suggests that REM sleep plays a vital role in emotional brain regulation. It also helps explain why so many dreams are emotionally vivid and why emotional or traumatic experiences tend to show up on repeat. Research has shown a connection between the ability to process emotions and the amount of REM sleep a person gets.

Other Theories About Why We Dream

Many other theories have been suggested to account for why we dream.

• One dream theory contends that dreams are the result of our brains trying to interpret external stimuli (such as a dog’s bark, music, or a baby’s cry) during sleep.
• Another theory uses a computer metaphor to account for dreams, noting that dreams serve to “clean up” clutter from the mind, refreshing the brain for the next day.
• The reverse-learning theory suggests that we dream to forget. Our brains have thousands of neural connections between memories—too many to remember them all—and that dreaming is part of “pruning” those connections.
• In the continual-activation theory, we dream to keep the brain active while we sleep, in order to keep it functioning properly.

Lucid Dreaming

Lucid dreams are relatively rare dreams where the dreamer has awareness of being in their dream and often has some control over the dream content. Research indicates that around 50% of people recall having had at least one lucid dream in their lifetime and just over 10% report having them two or more times per month.

It is unknown why certain people experience lucid dreams more frequently than others. While experts are unclear as to why or how lucid dreaming occurs, preliminary research signals that the prefrontal and parietal regions of the brain play a significant role.

A strong link has been found between lucid dreaming and highly imaginative thinking and creative output. Research has shown that lucid dreamers perform better on creative tasks than those who do not experience lucid dreaming.

Stress Dreams

Stressful experiences tend to show up with great frequency in our dreams. Stress dreams may be described as sad, scary, and nightmarish.

Experts do not fully understand how or why specific stressful content ends up in our dreams, but many point to a variety of theories, including the continuity hypothesis, adaptive strategy, and emotional regulation dream theories to explain these occurrences. Stress dreams and mental health seem to go hand-in-hand.

• Daily stress shows up in dreams: Research has shown that those who experience greater levels of worry in their waking lives and people diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) report higher frequency and intensity of nightmares.
• Mental health disorders may contribute to stress dreams: Those with mental health disorders such as anxiety, bipolar disorder, and depression tend to have more distressing dreams, as well as more difficulty sleeping in general.
• Anxiety is linked to stress dreams: Research indicates a strong connection between anxiety and stressful dream content. These dreams may be the brain’s attempt to help us cope with and make sense of these stressful experiences.

There are times when our partner will be upset with us. Maybe we know why, or we might have no clue what we did to hurt them. While we may want to avoid further conflict and wait for things to blow over, research shows that tackling issues head-on is usually the best course of action.

Though it may be uncomfortable at first, having open and honest conversations can benefit our relationship in the long run. ​Below are some ways to improve communication with our partners when we’ve hurt them, whether with our words or actions.

Acknowledge Their Feelings

We may not like how our partner feels or disagree with their response, but it’s still important to respect their feelings and show empathy. All they want is to feel understood, accepted, and cared for—like we really get them.

Think about how nice it is to hear the words, “I can understand why that would make you angry.” This type of statement can make our partner feel heard while also letting them know that it’s okay for them to feel the way they feel. 

Take Responsibility

When we do something that hurts our partner, whether intentionally or not, it’s always best to own up to what we did wrong. If we’re not clear on what we said or did that was hurtful, just ask.

It’s important to show our partner that we know we made a mistake and that we’re willing to take responsibility for our actions. This means avoiding the use of phrases such as, “I’m sorry if you were hurt,” or, “I’m sorry you were upset.”

These statements shift the responsibility from us to our partner. It’s the same as saying, “You weren’t supposed to get hurt/upset about something so tiny, but I’ll apologize out of pity.” Instead, we need to take responsibility for the hurtful things we said or did.

Here are some helpful phrases:  

• “I know what I did was wrong. I wish I had thought before I acted. I made a big mistake.”
• “There’s no excuse for what I did.”
• “The way I spoke to you was wrong, and I didn’t realize how much I hurt you.”

Explain, Don’t Excuse

Prefacing an apology with, “I don’t want to sound like I’m making excuses, but…,” can send the wrong message. Offering an excuse for what we did means that we aren’t taking responsibility. Instead, it’s meant to deflect the blame to someone or something else.

For example, “I shouldn’t have yelled at you but I’m really stressed,” is an excuse for how we responded to a situation. This can weaken the apology as we’re not taking accountability for our actions and how they affected our partner.

On the other hand, providing an explanation while still acknowledging the wrongdoing emphasizes the apology: “I’ve been under a lot of stress, but that’s not an excuse for yelling.” This gives our partner more background that helps explain our actions or responses without trying to justify them.

Offer a Genuine Apology

If we’ve hurt our partner and want to apologize for our actions, it’s important that we are sincere in the apology. This involves owning up to exactly what we did wrong and identifying it. It can also be a good idea to go beyond just saying we’re sorry by following through with actions that reflect what we’re apologizing for.

Be patient with this process as showing we’re sorry can take time. Additionally, while it’s important to ask for forgiveness, keep in mind that our partner may not be ready.

In the meantime, it’s helpful to think carefully about what we can do to make things right. If we’re not sure what would help, a good next step is to ask our partner what we can do to make them feel better. Token gestures, empty promises, and insincere apologies can do more harm than good.

Be Open and Flexible

We may find it hard to not get defensive when our partner expresses dissatisfaction with something we did or said. It can also be difficult to put ourselves in our partner’s shoes. Resolving conflict in our relationship can feel uncomfortable, but being flexible in how we think about the situation can be helpful.

One approach is to try to see the situation from our partner’s perspective. This is referred to as cognitive reframing. Not only could this be a step toward understanding them more deeply, but it also may indicate to them that we’re invested in resolving the issue.

Learn From What Happened

Conflicts that linger can be detrimental to a relationship. So, it’s helpful to learn from what we did to prevent the same thing from happening over and over again.

This begins by recognizing what we said or did to upset our partner and storing it away. Taking steps to get to know and understand them better can strengthen our relationship.

When Our Partner Is Still Upset

If a lot of time passes and our partner is still upset, we may need a bit more help. Conflicts that fester aren’t beneficial for anyone, so it’s a good idea to resolve them as soon as we realize they’re still lingering or if they reappear.

Getting professional help could be the next best step if our partner is still hurt over what happened. It can be difficult to heal a relationship after major hurts have occurred. If we feel stuck in our efforts to repair the damage, we may want to consider couples counseling. 

Couples counseling can be very effective, especially if couples seek it out sooner rather than later. A counselor can help us identify destructive patterns and teach us how to communicate more effectively. Counseling can also give us insight into our partner’s feelings and concerns.