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Humanistic therapy describes a range of different types of therapy that focus on a person as an individual with unique potential and abilities. Instead of concentrating on what is wrong with people, this type of therapy is more focused on helping them overcome their difficulties through personal growth.

Humanistic therapy grew out of humanistic psychology, a perspective that stresses that people are innately good. This approach tends to be more holistic and looks at the whole person rather than just a single area of a person’s life. By emphasizing a person’s skills and positive characteristics, it encourages people to heal and find personal fulfillment.

Types of Humanistic Therapy

There are a number of different types of humanistic therapy. Some of these include:

• Client-centered therapy: Also known as person-centered therapy, this approach involves the therapist taking a non-directive approach to the therapy process, which means the client guides the content and trajectory of their sessions. The individual acts as an equal partner, while the therapist offers empathy and unconditional positive regard.
• Existential therapy: This is a philosophical approach to therapy that tries to help people better understand their place in the universe. It works by helping people explore the things that bring their lives meaning. People learn to accept responsibility for their own choices and recognize that they have the power to make changes in order to bring more meaning and purpose to their lives.
• Gestalt therapy: This form of humanistic therapy focuses on a person’s current life and experiences rather than looking at their past. It places a great deal of emphasis on how the individual perceives and makes meaning out of their experiences.
• Logotherapy: This type of therapy focuses on helping people find ways to endure life’s difficulties and find a sense of purpose and meaning. It proposes that finding meaning in life can help improve mental well-being and relieve symptoms of conditions including depression, grief, and trauma.
• Narrative therapy: This approach to therapy helps people identify their values and skills by focusing on their personal stories and experiences. It strives to help people see that they are separate from their problems.

Techniques

Humanistic therapists use a number of techniques that are designed to support people as they work toward change. Some of the main techniques that are frequently used include:

• Congruence: This technique is essential to humanistic therapy and involves the therapist being authentic, open, and genuine as they interact with the individual who is in therapy.
• Empathetic understanding: This involves the therapist not only understanding what the client is feeling and saying, but also communicating that understanding to the client. The individual should feel heard, seen, and understood.
• Reflective listening: This involves actively listening to the individual and then summarizing what the client has said in the therapist’s own words. This strategy can help reinforce what the client is saying, allow them to reflect back on their own words, and clear up potential misunderstandings.
• Unconditional positive regard: This technique involves the therapist accepting the individual without judgment. It is characterized by a caring attitude that plays an important role in fostering self-worth, personal growth, and self-awareness.

Therapists utilize these techniques to support people as they develop greater self-awareness. These techniques are not focused on solving specific problems; instead, their goal is to encourage people to view themselves as capable of directing their own behavior and achieving their unique goals.

What Humanistic Therapy Can Help With

There is not a great deal of research on the efficacy of humanistic therapy for specific conditions. This may be in part because these approaches focus less on measurable symptoms and outcomes. However, humanistic therapy has been used to treat a range of different mental health conditions. Some of these include:

This approach can also be helpful for people who are not focused on treating a specific condition. Those who are interested in maximizing their potential and growing as a person may benefit from humanistic therapies.

Benefits of Humanistic Therapy 

One benefit of humanistic therapy is that this approach can be a great source of empathy and support. Because therapists are trained to be non-judgemental and listen with understanding, you may feel more comfortable opening up and sharing your feelings.

Humanistic therapy also allows the individual to play an active role in their treatment, while the therapist acts as a knowledgeable, trusted guide.

This approach to therapy can also be a good way to learn coping skills—including problem-solving and stress relief—that will be helpful whenever you are faced with problems in your life. Because it fosters self-esteem and self-efficacy, you’ll feel more capable as you deal with challenges.

Effectiveness

Research suggests that humanistic therapy can be an effective treatment approach when dealing with a range of disorders and other difficulties. 

• A 2013 review of research on this kind of therapy found that client-centered therapy was an effective approach in the treatment of depression, psychosis, relationship problems, and trauma.
• A 2017 study found that young people experiencing psychological distress showed improvement in emotional symptoms after receiving humanistic counseling.
• A 2019 exploratory trial compared client-centered therapy to trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy in the treatment of mothers and children who had experienced trauma. While the results indicated that client-centered therapy led to significant symptom reduction in children, CBT was found to be much more effective at reducing symptoms in mothers.

Things to Consider

Humanistic therapy is a type of talk therapy. It is holistic, so expect it to cover many different aspects of your life. However, it tends to focus more on the here-and-now rather than delving into the burdens and difficulties of the past. Some may find this challenging because it emphasizes taking personal responsibility and direct action to make your present life better rather than placing blame.

Because humanistic therapists are often less directive than other types of therapists, you will play an active role in guiding your treatments. Your therapist will act as a supportive and empathetic guide. Rather than viewing your therapist as a teacher or authority figure, they will instead be equal. This may be difficult if you prefer a more structured approach.

It is important to recognize that humanistic therapy doesn’t address specific problems. If you are having problems that would be better addressed by a more problem-oriented, structured type of therapy, then humanistic therapy might not be right for your needs.

How to Get Started With Humanistic Therapy

If you are interested in trying this type of therapy, your first step is to find a therapist who practices humanistic therapy. You might ask your primary health care provider for a referral to a professional in your area. Another option is to search an online therapist directory, which is essentially a virtual phonebook for therapists. On many directories, you can search for specific therapeutic approaches, including humanistic.

If you prefer to try online therapy, check with the therapy platform or look for providers in your area who offer an online therapy option.

If possible, ask for an initial consultation so that you can decide if the therapist is a good match. A therapist who is non-judgmental, empathetic, warm, and understanding can help build a stronger therapeutic alliance, which is essential for humanistic therapy. Research suggests that it is this rapport between the therapist and the client that plays a critical role in therapy outcomes.

Raise your hand if you’re a hopeless romantic, someone who has an idealized view of love (it’s OK, we are, too). Chances are, you tend to think of relationships as fairytale-like romances and look for your soulmate in every partner you’re with. Regardless of any red flags or past experiences that might suggest otherwise, you truly believe that, ultimately, love conquers all.

This projection of love often isn’t grounded in the depth of intimacy and connection—which is often rather unromantic—but instead in the pursuit of chasing the fairy tale narrative of love, says Claudia de Llano, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist and author of “The Seven Destinies of Love.”

Being a hopeless romantic can involve ups and downs. While it can mean you approach love and relationships with positivity and hopefulness, it can also mean that you get easily hurt or disappointed if reality doesn’t live up to your expectations.

We asked the relationship experts to share some signs of a hopeless romantic and what to do if you are one.

What Are the Traits of a Hopeless Romantic?

These are some signs that can indicate you are a hopeless romantic.

You Have a Fairy Tale-Like View of Love

If you’re a hopeless romantic, chances are you love fairy tales and rom-coms where charming characters meet, fall in love, and live happily ever after.

You probably have a fantasy of what your happily ever after looks like, and you probably date as a means to find a partner to fit the fantasy, says Dr. Romanoff.

You Get Invested in Relationships Very Quickly

When you start dating someone, rather than taking a slow, cautious approach to dating, you tend to get invested in the relationship early on.

For example, you may find yourself fantasizing about a permanent future with a person you’ve only been on a few dates with, says Dr. Romanoff. “Or, you might spend a lot of time thinking about the person, replaying everything they said, and forecasting the future—all of which creates a false sense of closeness and intense feelings for the person,” she adds.

You Idealize Your Partner

You’re looking for your soulmate; everyone you meet might be “the one.”

This might cause you to idealize your partner in a way that doesn’t match your actual experience of them but helps you cope with their negative qualities, says de Llano.

You Give a Lot to Each Relationship

You might invest a lot of time, effort, and emotional energy in every relationship, says Dr. Romanoff. You may also spend a lot of money on your partner, taking them on expensive dates or buying them lavish presents.

However, it may be one-sided if your partner is not on the same page, so you may be giving a lot more than you’re getting.

You Ignore Potential Red Flags

Red flags are warning signs that your partner may not be the right person for you. It’s important that people heed these signs in order to avoid major ruptures down the road, Dr. Romanoff explains.

If you’re a hopeless romantic, you may ignore red flags and turn a blind eye to the person’s imperfections so you can still have your fairy tale fantasy, says Dr. Romanoff. “You are more interested in casting the role of your perfect partner than truly getting to know the other person for who they are.”

Is Being a Hopeless Romantic a Good Thing?

Being a hopeless romantic can be a good thing as well as a bad thing. 

On the positive side, being a hopeless romantic can be helpful as opening yourself up to love requires significant vulnerability, says Dr. Romanoff. “Despite past heartbreak and pain, hopeless romantics see the good in others and believe in their potential.”

On the flip side, however, having unrealistic fairy tale-like expectations is not healthy because a relationship can’t possibly sustain it, says de Llano. “Unrealistic idealization can be harmful, as it keeps you from seeing the relationship as it truly is and your partner in the wholeness of who they are.”

Research shows that unrealistic expectations can be harmful to your mental well-being and lead to lower relationship satisfaction.

What to Do If You’re a Hopeless Romantic

The experts suggest some strategies that may be helpful if you’re a hopeless romantic:

• Evaluate your partner holistically: Dr. Romanoff says it’s important to reflect on the things you like, dislike, and are unsure about in a potential partner. “This helps you develop a more holistic view of the person and forces you to consider the things that might make you incompatible.”
  Know your needs and set boundaries: Be clear about who you are, what you want, and the treatment you will and won’t accept in a relationship and don’t lower your standards or betray your boundaries because you don’t want to be alone or you’re scared you won’t find love, says Dr. Romanoff. “Don’t accept treatment that is below your standards in exchange for that love.”
• Recognize your strengths: Work on recognizing your strengths, values, identity, and emotions so that you feel more capable of withstanding all the things life and relationships throw at you, says de Llano. Recognizing your own strengths can keep you from unrealistically idealizing a partner or pursuing relationships in order to avoid being alone.
• Consider therapy: Oftentimes, we idealize our partners because we are scared of being hurt, alone, or abandoned, says de Llano. “A mental healthcare professional can work with you to explore why you tend to deflect seeing your partner’s negative qualities, teach you how to cope with uncomfortable feelings of fear or insecurity, and help you build healthier attachments.”

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