Posts in category: Dating Tips, Guide and Advice

The truth is that everyone lies from time to time. Small lies to spare someone’s feelings, omissions to avoid revealing too much, and yes, even blatant attempts to mislead are all examples of how lies can work their way into everyday communication.

But lies can have a serious impact. They can destroy relationships, undermine trust, and wreak havoc on your personal life.

The good news is that you can stop lying. It might not be easy, and it might take time, but the desire to stop lies can be enough to help you overcome the temptation to continue with this behavior.

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Signs of a Lying Problem

So how can you tell when lying has started to erode the trust and communication in your relationships? How do you recognize that lies are starting to harm your daily life? Some signs that you might have a problem with lying:

• You tell lies for no justifiable reason. 
• You find ways to excuse your lies, such as thinking they are necessary to protect people from the truth.
• You have begun to fabricate stories about people and events to hide the truth.
• Other people have commented on your lies. 
• People close to you no longer trust the things you say.
• You feel like no one knows the “real you.”
• Your lies have led to serious consequences such as losing relationships, work, or other opportunities.

How to Stop Lying

If you notice yourself lying more than you want to, then it is time to begin examining why this happens and how to stop lying for good. Here are some things to consider:

Stop Justifying Dishonesty

Lying isn’t an uncommon behavior, and everyone does lie from time to time. But it’s important to recognize that people are generally quite truthful in their everyday communication, according to much of the research on deception.

It’s difficult to gauge exactly how frequently people lie since estimating that number relies on people being, well, honest. Some of the best estimates suggest that people lie around once or twice per day. Research also suggests that there is a small proportion of people who lie far more than the average.

In one sample, just 5% of the people told a whopping 50% of the reported lies. Studies also suggest that the mistruths told by these practiced liars also tend to have more significant consequences if discovered.

So if you are telling more lies than the average person each day, there’s a strong chance that this dishonesty might affect different areas of your life. Acknowledging the problematic behavior is often the first step toward making a lasting change.

Understand Why You Lie

If you are trying to be more honest in your everyday communication, it can be helpful to understand the types of lies you’re telling and why you’re telling them in the first place.

Deception researcher Bella DePaulo suggests that people tend to lie about five key topics:

• Their opinions and feelings
• Their actions, plans, and location
• Their achievements, knowledge, and failings
• Explanations for their behaviors
• Facts and personal possessions

Sometimes these lies are deliberate attempts to manipulate others to achieve some personal benefit. In other cases, they might be a way to avoid hurting someone with the truth or hide something that you prefer to keep private.

In fact, researchers distinguish between two different types of lies. Prosocial lies are the small lies that people tell to protect feelings or avoid conflict. On the other hand, antisocial lies intentionally mislead or deceive others for personal gain.

Consider how lying is affecting your life. Be honest with yourself about how lying is affecting yourself and others.

If you are telling lies for personal gain or manipulating others, you will likely experience a decline in the quality of your close relationships. Sometimes when you better understand the harm that lying can do, you’ll be less likely to rely on it in the future.

Consider the Consequences

DePaulo has suggested that while we generally view lying as wrong, the most common types of lies people tell are those designed to protect their self-esteem, spare other people’s feelings, or get other people to like them. These kinds of lies might not necessarily be harmless but tend to be more understandable than those intended to outright exploit or manipulate others.

Clearly, there are times when lying can serve a purpose. For example, you might hide your opinion about a book that your friend loves because you don’t want to lessen their enjoyment. Or you might not share that you attended a social event to which your friend was not invited. While the goal of these lies by omission is to spare someone’s feelings, that doesn’t mean that even the most well-intentioned lies won’t have consequences. 

There are certain situations where it is understandable to withhold the truth or even lie outright. In other cases, the question then becomes whether the other person actually benefits from being told a lie.

Even when you tell an altruistic lie to spare someone else’s feelings, it is important to remember that you are making assumptions about what you think the other person wants to hear. Is that person looking for positive affirmation about a choice they have already made, or do they really want to hear your honest assessment?

Put Your Relationships First

Lying can have several negative effects, including lasting damage to your relationships. Even if you feel like the occasional fib can’t hurt, there are many compelling reasons to curb the lying habit. 

When people feel that they cannot rely on you to be truthful, it impairs your trust with friends, family, romantic partners, and others in your life. And once people feel they can’t trust you, it can be difficult to regain that trust.

Remember That Lies Create Stress

Telling a lie might solve a problem quickly, but maintaining a lie can be stressful and lead to long-lasting problems. Even small lies can snowball and grow bigger than you intended. It is easy to forget how much it costs to maintain the habit when the results are temporarily positive.

While more research is needed to understand the connection, decreased stress is one factor that might play a role in explaining these benefits.

Practice Being Authentic

Sometimes people lie because they think revealing their true feelings about something will lead to rejection. The problem is that by hiding what you really think or feel, you’re not giving people the opportunity to know the “real you.”

What happens is that you then feel the need to maintain a facade to maintain those relationships. By being honest, you’ll be able to be who you truly are without feeling the need to hide.

You can only be truly honest when you are completely vulnerable with your feelings and experiences. When you lie about the past or present, it makes it hard to be open with others.

Consider How Others Feel

People often describe themselves as good at spotting a lie; research suggests that people are actually surprisingly poor at detecting deception. In one study, participants were only able to detect lies accurately 54% of the time—only slightly better than what they might catch by simply guessing.

But this doesn’t mean that they won’t discover your lie or that your deception won’t hurt them. If and when people find that they have been deceived, they may feel hurt, manipulated, exploited, and betrayed.

Find Alternatives to Lying

One important way to stop lying can be to identify the situations where you might be tempted to lie and think of alternatives ways to cope. So what are some substitutes that you can use in place of lying?

• Start small. Think of one situation where you are the most likely to tell a lie, then focus on changing that one behavior. For example, if you are most likely to lie when your partner asks for your opinion on something, consider what you can do to be more honest in that situation.
• Be kind and tactful. Consider how you can phrase your feelings or opinions in a way that won’t make the other person feel bad. Honest feedback doesn’t have to be brutal or hurtful. Instead, you might try sharing gentle but honest opinions about what you truly feel in a way that maintains prosocial relationships.
• Write it down. If sharing the truth out loud is too difficult, consider writing it down and sharing it in a letter, email, or text message.
• Don’t share everything. You can tell the truth without sharing everything. For example, if people are curious about some aspect of your life that you don’t want to share, be honest about your feelings. Say something like, “I’m not comfortable sharing that.” This allows you to be honest about your feelings without resorting to a lie.
• Change the subject. If you truly don’t want to share something or are trying to keep something private, consider shifting the topic of the conversation to something else rather than telling a lie.

Changing a habit takes time, so it can be helpful to plan how you’re going to start overcoming this behavior. Map out some of the steps you will follow to start being more truthful from now on.

Talk to a Professional

If you are struggling to stop lying or if the behavior feels impulsive or out of control, consider talking to a mental health professional. You should also consider talking to a therapist if lying has started to negatively impact your life, such as affecting your relationships, work, academics, or other aspects of your daily life.

A therapist can help you understand if your behavior might be related to a mental health condition, explore the underlying reasons behind your dishonesty, and help you find new ways to cope that don’t involve lying. In cases where lying has affected your close relationships, you might consider couples counseling, family therapy, or group therapy to find ways to mend those connections.

Alcoholic parents (now referred to as parents with alcohol use disorder or AUD) affect their children in many ways, some so profound that the kids never outgrow them. Here’s a look at the psychological, emotional, interpersonal, and behavioral effects of being raised by parents who are struggling with alcohol use.

Unclear Sense of Normalcy

Children whose parents use alcohol may not have had a good example to follow from their childhood, and may never have experienced traditional or harmonious family relationships. So adult children of parents with AUD may have to guess at what it means to be “normal.”

Because alcohol use is normalized in families with alcoholism, children can often struggle to distinguish between good role models and bad ones. As a result, many will end up feeling conflicted, confused, and self-conscious when they realize that drinking is not considered normal in other families.

Trust Issues

After growing up in an atmosphere where denial, lying, and keeping secrets may have been the norm, adult children can develop serious trust problems. Broken promises of the past tell them that trusting someone will backfire on them in the future.

If a child’s parent was mean or abusive when they were drunk, adult children can grow up with a fear of all angry people. They may spend their lives avoiding conflict or confrontation of any kind, worrying that it could turn violent.

Self-Judgement

Some adult children of parents with AUD take themselves very seriously, finding it extremely difficult to give themselves a break. If they had a tumultuous upbringing, they may have little self-worth and low self-esteem and can develop deep feelings of inadequacy.

Children of a parent with AUD may find themselves thinking they are different from other people and therefore not good enough. Consequently, they may avoid social situations, have difficulty making friends, and isolate themselves.

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Interpersonal Effects

Growing up with a parent who has an alcohol use disorder can change how an adult child interacts with others. It can cause problems in their relationships with friends, family members, and romantic partners.

In addition to judging themselves too harshly, some adult children of people with AUD constantly seek approval from others. They can become people-pleasers who are crushed if someone is not happy with them and live in fear of any kind of criticism.

Perhaps to avoid criticism or the anger of their parent with AUD, many children tend to become super-responsible or perfectionistic overachievers or workaholics. On the other hand, people often go in the opposite direction, mirroring the same bad behaviors they witnessed during childhood.

Behavioral Effects

Although evidence is conflicting, some behavioral changes appear to occur in children, adolescents, and adults who had a parent with AUD. Although the roles of genetics and childhood experiences are intertwined, these children may be more susceptible to substance use and other issues.

Alcohol Use

Some studies have shown that children of parents with AUD are more likely to misuse alcohol themselves in adolescence or adulthood. They may begin drinking alcohol at a younger age than other people and progress quickly to a problematic level of consumption. When both parents have AUD, teens may be at still higher risk.

Internal and External Behavior Issues

Children of parents who misuse alcohol are at higher risk for anxiety, depression, and unexplained physical symptoms (internalizing behaviors). They are also more likely to display rule-breaking, aggressiveness, and impulsivity (externalizing behaviors) in childhood.

In a study of more than 25,000 adults, those who had a parent with AUD remembered their childhoods as “difficult” and said they struggled with “bad memories” of their parent’s alcohol misuse. Some people experience this as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), like other people who had different traumatic childhood experiences.

Poor Academic Performance

Parents’ use of alcohol and teens’ lower performance in school have shown an association in research. This could be related in part to the behavior issues among children of parents with an AUD. It could also be complicated by other family circumstances.

How to Cope When Your Parent Misuses Alcohol

If you’re the child of a parent who has or had an alcohol use disorder or other substance use problems, seek out support, especially if you suspect it’s causing issues for you. Therapists and other mental health professionals with experience dealing with addiction can help.

Keep in Mind

Research suggests that about one in 10 children lives with a parent who has an alcohol use disorder, and about one in 5 adults lived with a person who used alcohol when they were growing up. Parents with an AUD may have difficulty providing children with a safe, loving environment, which can lead to long-term emotional and behavioral consequences. If your family is affected by alcohol use, it is important to seek help.

The Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scale (WAIS) is an intelligence test first published in 1955 and designed to measure intelligence in adults and older adolescents. The test was designed by psychologist David Wechsler, who believed that intelligence was made up of a number of different mental abilities rather than a single general intelligence factor.

Below, learn more about the history of the Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scale, the different versions of the test, how it is used, and its benefits and limitations.

History of the Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scale

Wechsler was dissatisfied with what he believed were the limitations of the Stanford-Binet intelligence test. Among his chief complaints about that test was the single score that emerged, its emphasis on timed tasks, and the fact that the test had been designed specifically for children and was therefore invalid for adults.

As a result, Wechsler devised a new test during the 1930s, known as the Wechsler-Bellevue Intelligence Scales. The test was later revised and became known as the Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scale, or WAIS.

WAIS vs. Stanford Binet

One interesting thing to note is that Alfred Binet, the developer of the world’s first intelligence test, also believed that intelligence was far too complex a subject to be sufficiently described by a single number.

The goal of his original test was to help identify children who needed specialized help in school. Binet felt that a variety of individual factors, including a child’s level of motivation, could influence test scores.

In a sense, Wechsler’s test was a return to many of the ideas that Binet had also espoused. Instead of giving a single overall score, the WAIS provides a profile of the test-taker’s overall strengths and weaknesses.

One benefit of this approach is that the pattern of scores can also provide useful information. For example, scoring high in certain areas but low in others might indicate the presence of a specific learning disability.

How the WAIS Is Scored

Like the traditional Stanford-Binet test, the WAIS also provides an overall score. However, Wechsler utilized a different approach to calculating this number. As you might remember from reading about the history of intelligence testing, scores on the early Stanford-Binet were derived from dividing mental age by chronological age.

On the WAIS, Wechsler instead compared the scores of the test-taker to those of others in their general age group. The average score is fixed at 100, with approximately two-thirds of all scores falling somewhere between 85 and 115.

Versions of the WAIS

There have been four different versions of the WAIS over the years. These include:

• WAIS (1955): The original test was a revision of the Wechsler-Bellvue Intelligence Scale, a test that was first released in 1939.
• WAIS-R (1981): The first revision of the test added new norms but relied on validity data from the original test. It also included six verbal and five information subtests and provided a verbal IQ score, performance IQ score, and overall IQ score.
• WAIS-III (1997): This test version included seven verbal and six performance subtests. Along with providing scores for verbal, performance, and overall IQ, the test also includes secondary scores for perceptual organization, processing speed, verbal comprehension, and working memory.
• WAIS-IV (2008): This version of the WAIS consists of 10 main subtests and five supplemental tests. The core subtests are used to obtain two overall summary scores, including a Full-Scale IQ and a General Ability Index. Similar to the WAIS-IV, individual index scores are provided for perceptual reasoning, processing speed, verbal comprehension, and working memory.
• WAIS-5 (2024): This version consists of 7 primary subtests, which are used to calculate the full-scale IQ score, and 10 secondary subtests for expanded clinical use.

Current Version: The WAIS-5

The current version of the WAIS will be released in the fall of 2024 and includes seven core subtests as well as ten supplemental subtests. Additionally, the WAIS-5 test provides five major index scores.

The WAIS surpassed the Stanford-Binet in use during the 1960s. Today, it is the most frequently used intelligence test worldwide for both adolescents and adults.

Benefits of the Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scale

The Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scale is widely used for a number of reasons. Some benefits include the following:

• The test is well-established and has good test-retest reliability. 
• It accurately measures a person’s current intellectual status and functioning.
• Research suggests that the WAIS can be a useful clinical tool for assessing mild, moderate, and severe traumatic brain injury (TBI).

Limitations of the Weschler Adult Intelligence Scale

While the WAIS can be a useful clinical tool, it does have some limitations and drawbacks. Some of these include:

• The test does not assess non-academic skills that can play an important role in success and well-being, such as motivation, creativity, emotional intelligence, and social skills.
• The test can provide a relative measure, but it does not offer a full view of a person’s abilities, talents, or potential. 
• The tests cannot be utilized with individuals with vision, auditory, or motor impairments.
• Versions of the test for non-English speakers are limited. There are currently two Spanish versions (one for Spanish speakers from Spain and one for Spanish speakers from Mexico).
• Scores on subtests may also differ for neurodivergent adults. People may score higher or lower on certain subtests depending on their unique traits and characteristics.
• It may not be suitable for older adults, especially those over the age of 89.

Current Uses

Today, the Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scale continues to be one of the most widely used clinical instruments. In addition to being used to measure adult and adolescent intelligence, clinicians use the test to:

• Assess cognitive functioning in people with psychiatric conditions
• Assess functioning in people with brain injury
• Evaluating patterns of brain dysfunction
• Diagnostic purposes

Final Thoughts

The Weschler Adult Intelligence Scale can be a useful tool for clinicians to assess cognitive functioning. It may be used to assess intelligence, but it is frequently utilized to look at cognitive abilities in people who have experienced brain trauma or psychiatric illness. If you are interested in taking the WAIS, it is crucial for it to be given by a trained and experienced administrator who is familiar with the standardized testing and scoring protocols.

Does it ever seem like the office is a hub for budding romances? Plenty of our favorite fictional couples certainly started out as office flirtations or coworker crushes. Think Jim and Pam from “The Office,” Mulder and Scully from “The X-Files,” or David and Patrick from “Schitt’s Creek.” 

After all, most adults spend a third of their lives on the job; it’s little wonder that sparks might fly with a cute colleague. While such romances are common, dating a coworker can disrupt office etiquette and create challenges in your work and love life. Some workplaces even have strict guidelines prohibiting office romances.

While online dating has changed how people meet romantic partners, the workplace still ranks as one of the top five places for heterosexual couples to meet. One survey found that more than 60% of U.S. adults have dated a co-worker at some point during their career. While the same survey found that 43% of these office romances ultimately ended in marriage, that doesn’t mean that workplace relationships don’t have the potential to create problems.

Assessing the Worthiness of the Relationship

The first challenge before you date someone in the workplace is perhaps the most important; deciding whether it’s worth the risk. Jumping into a whirlwind romance might seem romantic; the reality can be much less gratifying if you later realize you’re all wrong for each other.

There are plenty of great reasons why people decide that dating in the workplace is worthwhile. After all, you spend the bulk of your day interacting with them, so you probably feel comfortable with them and have gotten to know them pretty well. Your initial romantic first impressions can be good predictors of how successful a relationship might be. 

Because you work together, you also have a well of shared experiences to draw you together. Such connections can give you plenty of stories (and inside jokes) that can help you bond outside of work. 

But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t seriously consider some of the risks of dating a colleague. Potential challenges you might face while dating a coworker include:

• Workplace gossip
• Perceptions of favortism
• Problems with human resources
• Conflict or discomfort following a breakup
• Negative effects on your work
• Risks to your job

Understanding Formal Policy

Let’s say you’ve weighed the risks and decided that, yes, this person is worth pursuing. You’re interested and they’re interested, so what’s stopping you? 

Even if the relationship has plenty of promise, you also need to consider your company’s formal workplace dating policies. 

“I know it sounds corny, but…my biggest piece of advice is read the handbook! Everything you need to know about relationships at work should be explained in detail, including any legal issues that might arise due to your actions or lack thereof,” advises Tramelle D. Jones, a career and resume coach, wellness expert, and founder of TDJ Consulting.

Office romances may be forbidden in some workplaces, while others stipulate that a relationship must be disclosed to a manager or human resources. Always check to find out the official policy before starting a relationship to avoid possible repercussions.

It’s important to note that employers should utilize special discretion for LGBTQIA+ workplace relationships. Company policy may require people to disclose their relationship to HR, but this can be complicated for employees who do not want other people at work to know their sexual orientation.

According to the Society for Human Resource Management, workplaces should treat LGBTQIA+ employees the same as other employees but utilize discretion to avoid disclosing a person’s identity.

Sexual Harassment and Discrimination

Workplace dating isn’t illegal–but sexual harassment and discrimination are. Dating a coworker isn’t a legal violation as long as the relationship does not violate federal rules against sexual harassment. But it’s that potential risk of harassment accusations and lawsuits that concern employers. Plus, there is the worry of any potential legal ramifications they may face if the relationship turns sour. 

According to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC), a relationship crosses the line if it involves:

• Unwanted sexual advances
• Conduct that constitutes sexual harassment
• Interferes with a person’s work
• Creates a hostile, intimidating, or offensive work environment
• Involves requests for sexual favors

Taking It Slow

Even after you’ve weighed the risks and checked company policy, it’s still important to proceed with care after you’ve decided to date your coworker.

Rushing into a romance with someone at work can be a recipe for disaster. To build a solid romantic relationship (and avoid risking your professional relationship), it’s important to take things slow and build a solid foundation first.

For example, if you move too quickly, things could become very awkward at work if you suddenly realize they aren’t a good match for you. On the other hand, you might find yourself so besotted that it’s hard to focus on your work–which might put both of your jobs in peril.

Talking it out and making a plan is the best way to avoid problems. Discuss how you’ll approach the relationship, why taking things slowly is important, and how you’ll keep things strictly professional at the office.

Maintaining Professionalism

In addition to taking it slow, it is essential to set some ground rules. Maintaining professionalism is key. That means establishing and maintaining some clear boundaries between your personal and professional lives.

“People can maintain professionalism in the workplace while dating if they have the emotional stability and resilience to handle a breakup,” says Frank Thewes, LCSW, a therapist and owner of Path Forward Therapy.  “If either party can’t handle that extreme outcome, then maybe the relationship has to be reconsidered.”

Skip the Office PDA

Keep it strictly professional in the workplace. That means no public displays of affection or discussions of personal matters while at work. Treat each other the same way you’d treat colleagues when you are on the clock or in the presence of your officemates. (And lay off any pet names when you’re at work).

Keep Firm Boundaries

Create a clear separation between your careers and your personal lives. That means not talking about your personal life at work and vice versa. 

“Get clear about the nature of your relationship with your partner and ensure that both of you are on the same page regarding your expectations and boundaries,” Jones suggests.

Strong boundaries can minimize the risk of any conflicts of interest arising that might jeopardize your job or relationship. Plus, it helps support a healthier work-life balance.

Don’t Show Favoritism

Be cautious about treating your partner and coworkers equally. “If possible, avoid discussing your relationship with other colleagues or involving them in personal matters to avoid any unfair judgment from others in the workplace,” Jones suggests.

 If your coworkers know that you are dating, they are likely to feel resentful if they think that either of you is getting special treatment based on your relationship status. Circumvent the issue by being fair and equitable to everyone.

Dealing With Challenges

Dating a coworker is more common than you might think, but that doesn’t mean it’s always easy. Some challenges that can throw a wrench in your work life and your love life include:

• Unwanted attention and office gossip
• Difficulty staying professional
• Personal conflicts that bleed over into the workplace
• Workplace conflicts that boil over into arguments during your personal time together
• Awkwardness or discomfort from colleagues
• Jealousy or anger from coworkers who think the relationship is leading to favoritism
• Difficult power dynamics, particularly if one partner is in a position of authority over the other
• Increased stress from trying to juggle workplace obligations, the relationship, and the need to keep things strictly professional
• Distress and conflict if the relationship ends in a breakup

Not every workplace romance will end in a long-term commitment, so be professional if things don’t work out. If the relationship ends in a breakup, you need to keep your eye on the bigger picture. Focus on your work, and don’t let any personal drama lead to disruptions in the workplace. 

While you might be tempted to avoid (or seek out) your ex at work, don’t. It might not be easy, but it’s important to treat them just like you would any other coworker. “Conflicts happen in any relationship, but it’s essential to handle them maturely and avoid arguing or discussing personal matters in the workplace,” Jones says.

Legal Considerations

There are a number of legal considerations to keep in mind before dating a coworker. These include the potential for:

• Sexual harassment: The relationship must be 100% consensual. Unwelcome comments, advances, or requests may constitute sexual harassment.
• Policy violations: While a company might not fully prohibit all workplace dating, they may have certain rules against dating subordinates.
• Privacy issues: You may have certain expectations of privacy, but it can be difficult to maintain on a day-to-day basis when you are romantically involved with a colleague. 
• Conflicts of interest: Relationships that involve a supervisor and a subordinate can create a conflict of interest, including the potential for abuse of power.
• Discrimination and retaliation: If the relationship ends, it may lead to claims of discrimination and retaliation if one person feels they are being treated unfairly.

“Most companies are concerned about workplace relationships, especially between a supervisor and a subordinate, since romantic relationships can get messy!” says Jones. “It’s the organization’s responsibility to monitor violations of company policy to prevent situations from escalating into sexual harassment claims, conflicts of interest, and/or hostile work environment lawsuits,”

Thanks to the #MeToo movement, more and more people are aware of the sort of abuses that people often experience in the workplace. That includes the often subtle ways that people may feel pressured into a relationship with a coworker.

The issue gets thornier when a subordinate employee dates someone higher up the chain of command, such as someone dating their boss. First, there is the concern that the person may have entered the relationship due to pressure or fear of retaliation if they say no. This puts the organization at risk of lawsuits due to sexual harassment creating a hostile work environment.

Plus, other employees might perceive favoritism or believe that the subordinate employee is engaging in the relationship as a way to gain professional favors or advancement. Such perceptions can lead to office gossip and undermine a person’s professional accomplishments.

Before you ask your coworker out, make sure that you’re both on the same page in terms of interest. Neither of you should be pressured or obligated to say yes to a date. Pay attention to social cues and consider the factors that might be in play, including power dynamics and workplace roles. Make sure the other person feels safe and able to turn you down if they are not interested.

Seeking Support and Advice

You may also find it helpful to talk to others about the potential relationship and what it might mean for your personal and professional life. When caught in that initial thrill of infatuation, it’s easy to get wrapped up in positive feelings about the other person and become less objective about the situation.

Consider talking to a good friend, career expert, mental health professional, or even a lawyer. 

Research suggests that how people take advice about workplace romances depends significantly on the advice itself. People are more likely to listen to advice that is positive and supportive but less receptive to advice that is unsolicited, pessimistic, vague, or critical.

If you are currently dating a coworker and it is affecting your work life in unexpected ways, consider reaching out to a mental health professional. They can help you work on establishing and maintaining boundaries. You can also develop coping strategies that will help you manage your interpersonal relationships, stress, and work-life balance more effectively.

Keep in Mind

While more and more people are making love connections online, the workplace is still one of the most common settings for romance to flourish. There’s no doubt it can be a place to meet someone you share a close connection with–but there’s also a lot of potential for things to go wrong.

Before you broach the possibility of a relationship, spend some time thinking about the personal and professional implications of an office romance. Does the other person welcome this interest? Do they feel safe turning you down? If the answer to either of those questions is anything less than an emphatic “Yes,” then a potential romance is a no-go. 

Also, consider what it might mean for your career and mental health. Could dating your coworker harm your career? Will it make it more challenging to interact with your colleagues? And how will you respond if the relationship doesn’t work out? Only you can answer those questions, but it’s worth considering the risks and benefits before deciding if dating your coworker is the right choice.

Love can be found in many places, and plenty of people have found lasting love with a colleague. Just make sure you’ve weighed the risks and consulted the official policies before you decide if this is the right choice for you.