Posts in category: Dating Tips, Guide and Advice

Do you tend to see the glass as half empty or half full? You have probably heard that question plenty of times. Your answer relates directly to the concept of positive thinking and whether you have a positive or negative outlook on life. How you see your life can have a significant impact on both your mental and physical health.

Positive thinking plays an important role in positive psychology, a subfield devoted to the study of what makes people happy and fulfilled.

Research has found positive thinking can aid stress management and overall health and well-being. It can help combat feelings of low self-esteem, improve physical health, and help brighten your overall outlook on life.

What Is Positive Thinking, Exactly?

Positive thinking means approaching life’s challenges with a positive outlook. It doesn’t mean seeing the world through rose-colored lenses by ignoring or glossing over life’s negative aspects.

Some researchers, including positive psychologist Martin Seligman, frame positive thinking in terms of explanatory style. Your explanatory style is how you explain why events happened.

• Optimistic explanatory style: People with an optimistic explanatory style tend to give themselves credit when good things happen and typically blame outside forces for bad outcomes. They also tend to see negative events as temporary and atypical.
• Pessimistic explanatory style: People with a pessimistic explanatory style often blame themselves when bad things happen, but fail to give themselves adequate credit for successful outcomes. They also tend to view adverse events as expected and lasting. As you can imagine, blaming yourself for events outside of your control or viewing these unfortunate events as a persistent part of your life can harm your state of mind.

Positive thinkers are more apt to use an optimistic explanatory style, but how people attribute events can also vary depending on the exact situation. For example, a person who is generally a positive thinker might use a more pessimistic explanatory style in particularly challenging situations, such as at work or school.

Positive Psychology vs. Positive Thinking

While the terms “positive thinking” and “positive psychology” are sometimes used interchangeably, it is important to understand that they are not the same thing.

• Positive thinking is about seeing things from a positive perspective and maintaining a positive, optimistic attitude.
• Positive psychology is a branch of psychology that studies the effects of optimism, what causes it, and when it is best utilized.

Health Benefits of Positive Thinking

In recent years, the so-called “power of positive thinking” has gained a great deal of attention thanks to self-help books such as “The Secret.” These pop-psychology books often tout positive thinking or philosophies like the law of attraction as a sort of psychological panacea, often oversimplifying and exaggerating the effects.

Some of the health benefits associated with positive thinking include:

• Better stress management and coping skills
• Enhanced psychological health
• Greater resistance to the common cold
• Increased physical well-being
• Longer life span
• Lower rates of depression
• Reduced risk of cardiovascular disease-related death

A 2018 study published in the Journal of Aging Research found that having a positive mental attitude was linked to decreased mortality over a 35-year period. People who had a more positive outlook were also more likely to get regular physical exercise, avoid smoking, eat a healthier diet, and get more quality sleep.

Clearly, there are many benefits of positive thinking. But why, exactly, does positive thinking have such a strong impact on physical and mental health?

One theory is that people who think positively tend to be less affected by stress. Research suggests that having more positive automatic thoughts helps people become more resilient in the face of life’s stressful events. Older research has shown that people who had high levels of positive thinking were more likely to walk away from stressful life events with a higher sense of the meaningfulness of life.

Another possibility is that people who think positively tend to live healthier lives in general; they may exercise more, follow a more nutritious diet, and avoid unhealthy behaviors.

How to Practice It

While you might be more prone to negative thinking, there are strategies that you can use to become a more positive thinker. Practicing these strategies regularly can help you get in the habit of maintaining a more positive outlook on life.

• Notice your thoughts: Start paying attention to the type of thoughts you have each day. If you notice that many of them are negative, make a conscious effort to reframe how you are thinking in a more positive way.
• Write in a gratitude journal: Practicing gratitude can have a range of positive benefits, including helping you develop a better outlook. Experiencing grateful thoughts helps people feel more optimistic. Spend a few moments each day writing about the things you are thankful for in a gratitude journal.
• Use positive self-talk: How you talk to yourself can play an important role in shaping your outlook. Studies have shown that shifting to more positive self-talk can have a positive impact on your emotions and how you respond to stress.

Potential Pitfalls

While there are many benefits to thinking positively, there are actually times when more realistic thinking is advantageous. For example, in some situations, negative thinking can actually lead to more accurate decisions and outcomes.

However, research suggests that realistic optimism might be the ideal. The results of a 2021 study published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin revealed that people who have mistaken expectations, whether those expectations are optimistic or pessimistic, tend to fare worse in terms of mental health when compared to realists. 

The authors of the study suggest that the disappointment that optimists experience when their high hopes are not realized can negatively impact well-being. This doesn’t mean that people should strive to be pessimistic thinkers, since studies indicate that people with a negative outlook tend to fare the worst. Instead, having a generally positive outlook that is focused on realistic expectations may be the best approach. 

In some cases, inappropriately applied positive thinking can cross the line into what is known as toxic positivity. This involves insisting on maintaining a positive mindset no matter how upsetting, dire, or damaging a situation might be. This type of excessive positivity can impede authentic communication and cause people to experience feelings of shame or guilt if they struggle to maintain such an overly positive outlook.

Takeaways

Even if you are not a natural-born optimist, there are things you can do to learn how to think more positively and become a positive thinker. One of the first steps is to focus on your own inner monologue and to pay attention to your self-talk. Changing your attributional and explanatory style doesn’t happen overnight, but with time and practice, you can develop a more positive outlook on yourself and on life.

The central nervous system (CNS), which is made up of the brain and spinal cord, is one of the most important parts of your body. The three broad functions of the CNS are to take in sensory information, process information, and send out motor signals. It controls how you think, feel, and respond to the world around you.

Central Nervous System Functions

The CNS receives sensory information from the nervous system and controls the body’s responses. The central nervous system plays a primary role in receiving information from various areas of the body and then coordinating this activity to produce the body’s responses.

You can think of it as the body’s common center, taking in information, figuring out what to do with it, and sending out instructions for your body to respond. Every time you breathe, solve a problem, or react to a sound, your central nervous system works behind the scenes to control your body’s responses. Without it, basic functions like walking, talking, or even remembering the lyrics to your favorite song wouldn’t be possible.

CNS Structure

The CNS has three main components:

• The brain
• The spinal cord
• The neurons (or nerve cells)

Each part of the CNS plays an important role in how the body functions, and the three components of the CNS work together to take in information and control how the body responds.

The Brain

The brain controls many of the body’s functions including sensation, thought, movement, awareness, and memory. The surface of the brain is known as the cerebral cortex. The surface of the cortex appears bumpy thanks to the grooves and folds of the tissue. Each groove is known as a sulcus, while each bump is known as a gyrus.

The largest part of the brain is the cerebrum. It is responsible for functions such as memory, speech, voluntary behaviors, and thought.

The cerebrum is divided into two hemispheres, the right hemisphere and the left hemisphere. The right hemisphere controls movements on the body’s left side, while the left hemisphere controls movements on the body’s right side.

Each hemisphere of the brain is then divided into four interconnected lobes:

• Frontal lobes are associated with higher cognition, voluntary movements, and language.
• Occipital lobes are associated with visual processes.
• Parietal lobes are associated with processing sensory information.
• Temporal lobes are associated with hearing and interpreting sounds as well as the formation of memories.

Other important areas of the brain include the basal ganglia, cerebellum, Broca’s area, corpus callosum, medulla oblongata, hypothalamus, thalamus, and amygdala.

Spinal Cord

The spinal cord connects to the brain via the brain stem and then runs down through the spinal canal, located inside the vertebrae. The spinal cord carries information from various parts of the body to and from the brain.

While it varies from one individual to the next, the spinal cord is about 18 inches in length. At the brainstem, 31 spinal nerves enter into the spinal cord. The nerves of the spinal cord consist of:

• 8 cervical nerves
• 12 thoracic nerves
• 5 lumbar nerves
• 5 sacral nerves
• 1 coccygeal nerve

In the case of some reflex movements, responses are controlled by spinal pathways without involvement from the brain. Examples include the Golgi tendon reflex, the crossed extensor reflex, and the stretch reflex.

Neurons

Neurons are the building blocks of the central nervous system. Billions of these nerve cells can be found throughout the body and communicate with one another to produce physical responses and actions.

Most neurons are divided into three basic sections: dendrites, cell body, and axon. These cells also differ in terms of function. The three types of neurons are afferent neurons, efferent neurons, and interneurons. 

• Efferent neurons are motor neurons that carry signals from the brain to the peripheral nervous system.
• Afferent neurons are sensory neurons that bring information from the senses to the brain.
• Interneurons are association neurons that connect efferent and afferent neurons to the central nervous system.

Protective Structures

Since the CNS is so important, it is protected by a number of structures. First, the entire CNS is enclosed in bone. The brain is protected by the skull. The spinal cord is encased by the vertebrae that make up the spinal column. 

The brain and spinal cord are both covered with a protective tissue known as meninges. There are three layers of meninges protecting the brain and spinal cord:

• Dura mater: From the Latin words meaning “hard mother,” this is the top layer of the meninges found directly under the bones of the skull and vertebrae. It is composed of dense connective tissue.
• Arachnoid mater: The second layer of the meninges is a spider-like, transparent membrane made up of collagen and elastic fibers.
• Pia mater: From the Latin for “soft mother,” this protective layer is the innermost layer of the meninges. It is made of delicate connective tissue that is filled with tiny blood vessels that provide nourishment for the brain.

The entire CNS is also immersed in cerebrospinal fluid, which forms a chemical environment that allows nerve fibers to transmit information effectively and offers yet another layer of protection from potential damage.

Diseases of the Central Nervous System

There are a number of problems and diseases that can affect the CNS. Damage or disease to the central nervous system can produce a range of effects.  Some of the conditions that can impact the CNS include:

• Degenerative diseases: Diseases such as Parkinson’s disease and Alzheimer’s disease can cause the degeneration of cells in pivotal areas of the brain, affecting functions such as movement and memory.
• Infections: Viruses, bacteria, and fungi can invade the central nervous system, causing symptoms and/or damage.
• Stroke: A blockage of blood flow to the brain prevents oxygen from reaching the tissues of the brain. This results in damage to the affected area and can lead to impairment or death.
• Trauma: Injury to the CNS can cause a number of problems ranging from paralysis to death.
• Tumors: Cancerous and benign tumors can grow in different areas of the CNS. The impact of these tumors depends on their location and size. 

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can have a dramatic impact on how people experience the world. Following a trauma, even everyday experiences can feel unpredictable and even threatening. Hypervigilance is a common symptom of PTSD that causes a constant state of alertness. People who are hypervigilant are constantly on guard and prone to overreaction. They maintain an intense—and sometimes obsessive—awareness of their surroundings, frequently scanning for threats or routes of escape.

Hypervigilance is about more than just being extra vigilant. It is a state of extreme alertness that undermines the quality of life. While this alertness can pay off in survival situations, always being on guard can become persistent and overwhelming, sometimes leading to reactions that are out of proportion to the situation.

If you are hypervigilant, you are always looking for hidden dangers, both real and presumed. Because of this, hypervigilance can leave you exhausted while interfering with interpersonal relationships, work, and your ability to function on a day-to-day basis.

Symptoms of Hypervigilance

Hypervigilance can be characterized by four common features:

• Overestimation of a threat: Hypervigilant people will be on the lookout for threats that are either unlikely or exaggerated. This may include shutting themselves in to avoid an attack, sitting near an exit so that they can escape quickly, or sitting with their back to the wall so that no one can sneak behind them.
• Obsessive avoidance of perceived threats: This includes avoiding everyday situations where dangers may lurk, including public gatherings and unpopulated public spaces (like garages). In extreme cases, a person may develop agoraphobia (anxiety about being in places where escape might be difficult).
• Increased startle reflex: This is an abnormal response in which a person jumps at any sudden noise, movement, or surprise, even in the middle of the night. Being in a new or uncomfortable environment might further exacerbate the response.
• Epinephrine-induced physiological symptoms: Epinephrine (adrenaline) is one of two stress hormones associated with the fight-or-flight reflex (the other being cortisol). People with PTSD-associated hypervigilance will often have a sustained epinephrine response, manifesting with dilated pupils, an increased heart rate, and elevated blood pressure.

Hypervigilance can also show up in other ways. It might cause people to read too much into situations. They might spend too much time thinking about how others see them, leading to intense feelings of self-consciousness. Or they might constantly be on alert for other people to betray them. Hypervigilant people may be more reluctant to try new things or meet new people because they are so on the lookout for potential danger. 

In extreme cases, people who are hypervigilant may feel the need to arm themselves with guns, knives, or pepper spray or to equip themselves with sophisticated alarm systems, extra door locks, and even panic rooms.

What Causes Hypervigilance?

Hypervigilance is often rooted in how the brain responds to trauma and is one of the central features of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). When someone experiences a traumatic event, it triggers the body’s fight-or-flight response. This reaction prepares their mind and body to deal with danger, but their nervous system can also get “stuck” in that high alert state.

Threats

Hypervigilance is the body’s way of protecting you from threatening situations. It can occur in an environment where you perceive an extreme threat. An example may include walking home late at night through a strange neighborhood.

Trauma

Chronic hypervigilance is a common consequence of PTSD, particularly in people who have been in dangerous environments for a long time (such as serving in battle during a war) or have experienced extreme emotional trauma.

Hypervigilance is common among children who have experienced the recent death of a parent, were witnesses to violence, or are victims of abuse. In some cases, the symptoms of PTSD may only appear later in life.

Mental Health Conditions

In addition to PTSD and anxiety disorders, several mental health conditions can contribute to hypervigilance. This includes:

• Schizophrenia: In people with schizophrenia, hypervigilance is associated with a threat that does not exist. It is an extension of the paranoia and delusions characteristic of the disorder. Genetic, psychological, and environmental factors are believed to contribute to the development of schizophrenia. Stress can play a central role in triggering a psychotic episode.
• Paranoia: Because paranoia is associated with hypervigilance, this symptom may be seen with any mood or personality disorder for which paranoia may be a feature. Such conditions can include bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder.
• Dementia: Hypervigilance can also occur due to dementia related to Alzheimer’s disease and other neurodegenerative disorders.

Medical Conditions

Hypervigilance isn’t always linked to trauma or other psychological conditions; it can also stem from certain types of medical conditions. Fibromyalgia is a condition that can cause people to experience heightened sensitivity to light and noise, which can make people feel overwhelmed and hypervigilant at times. Endocrine tumors, hyperthyroidism, and adrenal disease can also play a part.

Hypervigilance Triggers

Certain factors can act as triggers for hypervigilance. Some common triggers include:

• Feeling of abandonment
• Sudden, loud noises
• Physical pain
• Emotional distress
• Stress
• Chaotic environments
• Reminders of past traumas
• Criticism and embarrassment
• Feeling trapped

How It Impacts Life

Hypervigilance can have serious effects on a person’s daily life, relationships, and ability to function. As you can imagine, living in this constant state of alertness can be exhausting. It can lead to avoidance behaviors, such as minimizing time spend in public places, in order to avoid feeling keyed up and hyper-alert. Such avoidance can make it hard to function at work and school.

Hypervigilance can also affect a person’s emotional stability. They may experience changes in mood, energy, and emotional regulation. People may experience problems with irritability, depression, anxiety, and emotional numbness.

The chronic stress of this state can also lead to physical health problems, including muscle pain, headaches, fatigue, and digestive issues.

Treatments and Therapies

Treating hypervigilance involves more than just finding ways to calm the mind. It requires addressing the underlying cause and helping the nervous system relearn how to feel safe. There’s no one-size-fits-all solution, and the right approach often hinges on the severity of the symptoms as well as whether or not the person recognizes that their hypervigilance is a problem.

Treatment may involve psychotherapy, including mindfulness training and coping techniques, and pharmaceutical medications. Options include:

• Cognitive behavioral therapy: The goal of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is to teach you, through conversations with a therapist, that you cannot control every aspect of the world around you, but can control how you interpret and deal with your response to an environment.
• Exposure therapy: This type of therapy aims to expose you to the triggers that stimulate stress in order to help you recognize them and take steps to mitigate your response.
• Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy: The goal of eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) is to use eye movement as a means of redirecting you from traumatic memories of the past to current sensations of the present.
• Mindfulness training: Mindfulness involves “living in the moment” and focusing thoughts on immediate sensations rather than following extraneous and often problematic thoughts. Other mind-body techniques include meditation, guided imagery, and biofeedback.
• Medications: PTSD and other anxiety disorders may be treated with antidepressants, beta-blockers, or anxiolytic drugs. Schizophrenia, personality disorders, or bipolar disorder may be treated with antipsychotics or mood stabilizers.

The bottom line is that hypervigilance can’t be treated in isolation; it’s a symptom of an underlying condition that needs to be fully addressed for treatment to be effective. It relies upon the appropriate treatment of the condition (including substance abuse). In some cases, hospitalization may be needed to bring the symptoms under control.

Coping and Self-Care

If you are experiencing hypervigilance to the extent of interfering with your quality of life, seek help from a mental health professional. Overcoming hypervigilance can take time and be fraught with setbacks.

Practice Self-Care

To better deal with the challenges, even while undergoing treatment:

• Get plenty of rest
• Improve your sleep hygiene
• Maintain a healthy diet
• Find relaxing activities (such as yoga or tai chi)

Lean on Friends and Family

Most importantly, communicate. Staying silent and refusing to share your thoughts will only promote your fears and isolate you from others. Find a friend or family member with whom you can confide, ideally someone who won’t dismiss your fears.

Joint a Support Group

You can also join a support group for PTSD or other disorders with people who understand what you are going through. The more you build a support network of individuals who recognize the goals and challenges of treatment, the more likely you will persist and reap therapy’s benefits.

Takeaways

Hypervigilance is a common symptom of PTSD, but it can also occur with other conditions as well. Everyday events, such as loud noises, pain, stress, reminders of past events, and chaotic environments, can trigger it. No matter what causes it, it can be exhausting and overwhelming to live with. 

Fortunately, effective treatments are available that can help you address the underlying condition that contributes to hypervigilance. You can also find ways to manage it by seeking support, caring for yourself, and joining a support group.

In a time when celebrities, social media influencers, and famous personalities seem like they are just a click away, it’s easy to understand how emotional bonds with public figures have become more personal and complex than ever. This type of one-sided connection is known as a parasocial relationship. Such relationships blur the line between admiration and perceived intimacy between a media user and a public figure.

Media users can form parasocial relationships with celebrities, live-action fictional characters, social media influencers, animated characters, and any other figure they encounter through media, including movies, TV shows, podcasts, radio talk shows, or social media platforms, such as Twitter, Instagram, or TikTok.

While research on parasocial relationships typically focuses on friendship-like bonds between a media user and a favored media persona, media users may also form negative and even romantic parasocial relationships with different media figures.

Types of Parasocial Relationships

Not all parasocial relationships are the same. They can occur in many different contexts and may take different forms depending on the public figure’s persona and the viewer’s emotional needs. For example, such relationships can range from enjoying the comforting experience of watching a favorite character in a TV show to having an intense devotion to a pop idol or fictional book character.

Parasocial relationships can exist in several different forms. Oftentimes, these various forms may represent stages of this type of relationship:

Parasocial Interactions

Parsocial interactions are defined as the approximation of “conversational give and take” between a media user and a media persona. Unlike parasocial relationships, which extend beyond a single media interaction and psychologically operate much like a real-life relationship, parasocial interactions take place exclusively while interacting with a persona via media and psychologically resemble real-life face-to-face interactions.

For example, if you feel like you’re one of the gang while watching the characters from Friends spend time together at the Central Perk, you’re experiencing a parasocial interaction. If you continue to think about Rachel, Chandler, Monica, or one of the other members of the group after you’ve finished the episode, maybe even reference their behavior on the show as if they are someone you know, you’ve formed a parasocial relationship with that Friends character.

Parasocial Attachments

In addition, the concept of parasocial connections has been extended by media psychologist Gayle Stever to include parasocial attachments. Based on the theory of attachment originated by Bowlby, which describes the deep bonds formed between caregivers and children as well as between romantic partners, parasocial attachment happens when a media “persona becomes a source of comfort, felt security, and safe haven.”

Like parasocial interactions and relationships, parasocial attachments function similarly to attachments in real life. And just like real-life attachments, proximity seeking is an important component of parasocial attachments.

Are They Healthy or Harmful?

Parasocial relationships can impact people in several ways. While such relationships are often dismissed as superficial or obsessive, the reality is a lot more nuanced. Just like any connection, the impact depends on factors like the context, intensity, and individual needs.

Some of these influences can be negative, but there can actually be some benefits to this type of relationship. Your favorite character or celebrity can be a source of comfort and inspiration, but sometimes such connections can cross boundaries and interfere with real-world relationships.

Potential Drawbacks

In one review of the literature, researchers found that having a parasocial relationship with a media personality can influence an individual’s:

• Political views
• Voting decisions
• Purchasing behavior
• Attitudes about gender stereotypes
• Trust in various groups of people, such as scientists and doctors

Potential Advantages

Parasocial relationships can certainly have drawbacks, but they may also have some benefits as well. On the plus side, these types of relationships are linked to.

• Increased belonging: On a more optimistic note, parasocial connections can increase self-confidence, improve one’s belief in their self-efficacy, and result in stronger feelings of belonging.
• Reduced loneliness: The isolation caused by quarantine orders issued during the COVID-19 pandemic has increased interest in the social surrogacy role media figures can play. Although the research on this topic is limited, people who didn’t have other social outlets while in lockdown turned to TV and movie characters and online social media to satisfy their need for interaction and connection.
• Stronger social connections: Because friends and family can engage in parasocial relationships with the same media persona without jealousy, discussing these mutual parasocial relationships can strengthen social relationships. Fans also often create online or in-person communities dedicated to specific performers, characters, and other media figures, which can contribute to real-life relationships with like-minded others.

How Do Parasocial Relationships Form?

Like in-person relationships, parasocial relationships start when someone meets and gets acquainted with a media persona. This initial parasocial interaction might involve seeing the individual on a tv show or movie, following them on social media, or even interacting with them online or in real life.

If the persona makes an impression that causes the individual to think about them beyond the interaction, parasocial interactions can lead to a parasocial relationship. In turn, further parasocial interactions can strengthen parasocial relationships, sometimes leading to parasocial attachment.

One study found that many fans of the show Neighbors experienced feelings of grief and loss when the series ended. Another study that examined Reddit posts found that many sports fans experienced emotional and mental grief responses following the death of Kobe Bryant.

Why Do We Form Them?

It may seem strange that people form parasocial relationships despite their lack of reciprocity, but it’s important to remember that humans are evolutionarily wired to make social connections. Media is a relatively recent development in human history and hasn’t yet had an outsized impact on our evolution.

Humans tend to pay special attention to other humans’ faces and voices. For centuries, the only faces and voices we regularly encountered were those of the people in our daily lives. That changed starting in the early 20^th century with the advent of radio and movies, and by the time television became widely available, the number of faces and voices one could become familiar with through media had grown exponentially.

However, our brains never evolved to distinguish between people we see and hear through media and those we see and hear in real life. Therefore, we process and respond to these encounters similarly, leading to parasocial phenomena in all their forms.

It is also important to note that most people know that their relationships with media figures are not real. However, this knowledge doesn’t prevent them from reacting as if they were.

The Role of Social Media

To date, the majority of studies on parasocial phenomena has focused on film and TV, while new media has been the focus of less than one-fifth of the investigations.

Nonetheless, new media, especially social media, has surely changed the nature of parasocial relationships. Of particular interest is whether the ability to directly communicate and possibly be contacted by a media figure online might make parasocial relationships more social.

The Social-Parasocial Continuum

As a result, researchers have proposed that parasocial and social relationships should be seen as operating along a continuum.

• On the social end of the spectrum are the people we regularly interact with in our daily lives.
• On the parasocial end of the spectrum are media personalities we have no access to, such as fictional characters or performers who have passed away.
• In between those two extremes are relationships with celebrities that one has the potential to interact with either in real-life or online.

This can take the form of meeting a pop star after their concert or running into an actor while out shopping in Hollywood. However, the rise of social media has increased the likelihood that fans can gain access to their favorite celebrities online.

For example, when a media user responds to a post by their favorite performer on Twitter, the performer may acknowledge them by liking or re-tweeting their message. Scholars have proposed that in these circumstances the relationship between fan and performer should still be considered parasocial because despite the social recognition by the media figure, the media user still lacks direct access to them.

Takeaways

While more research on parasocial relationships is needed, evidence suggests that these relationships can have downsides and potential benefits. Researchers believe that these relationships are normal and fairly common, but you should talk to a professional if your thoughts and behaviors about a media figure are causing distress or interfering with your ability to function normally.

Do you ever find yourself thinking, “It wasn’t that important anyway?” after something you *really* wanted doesn’t work out? While it might seem like you’re just brushing off disappointment, there might actually be something else at work—a defense mechanism known as rationalization.

In psychology, rationalization is a defense mechanism. Defense mechanisms are unconscious strategies people utilize to protect themselves from anxiety or threats to self-esteem. These defense mechanisms operate in various ways to reduce discomfort, often by denying or distorting reality.

When people are faced with feelings or behaviors that challenge their beliefs, they may look for ways to explain these thoughts and alleviate feelings of discomfort. For example, a person who gets a bad grade on a test might rationalize their low score by blaming the professor’s teaching style rather than acknowledging their poor study habits.

The Psychology of Rationalization

Ernst Jones first introduced rationalization as a defense mechanism in 1908. It was later expanded on as part of the psychoanalytic theories of Sigmund Freud and his daughter Anna Freud. They believed that defense mechanisms worked on an unconscious level to help protect the mind from feelings of anxiety. 

According to Freud, rationalization allows people to justify their thoughts or behaviors without experiencing conflicts, anxiety, or shame if they face their true motivations.

While many Freudian theories have fallen from favor in psychology, the idea of rationalization has persisted. Later, researchers continued to expand on Freud’s ideas, proposing that rationalization might not just protect the ego from anxiety but also serve adaptive purposes.

Another theory suggests that rationalization might serve another important purpose: to help us make sense of our decisions. According to this explanation, decision-making is complex and rarely relies on a single process. Instead, it often incorporates instinct, norms, habits, reasoning, and other influences. Rationalization might be an attempt to represent all of these processes into a coherent narrative, or what researchers have called “a useful fiction.”

While some researchers argue that rationalization can be a rational response, others argue that it can be a detrimental defense mechanism that is associated with worse emotional development and increased antisocial behavior.

What Are Some Examples?

One of the reasons why rationalization has remained such an enduring concept? It’s the fact that, if you’re like most people, you can immediately recognize examples of it in your own life. It might be something you notice yourself doing, but you may also be able to recall times when other people have rationalized their behaviors or the outcome of a situation.

Rationalization often occurs in a variety of different ways. It may involve:

• Minimizing the situation (“It’s really not that bad.”)
• Making excuses (“I didn’t have enough time anyways.”)
• Blaming others (“They failed because they didn’t do their work on time.”)
• Making comparisons (“What I did isn’t as bad as what someone else did.”)
• Explaining away the problem (“Sorry, I didn’t return your call, I was just too busy.”)

In Romantic Relationships 

In a romantic relationship, a person might rationalize being disappointed by their partner by blaming outside factors instead of the other person.

For example, if your partner canceled dinner plans at the last minute, you might blame their employer or work clients. That’s often easier (and less painful) than acknowledging that your partner rarely takes their commitments seriously.

Other common examples in relationships include minimizing problematic behaviors, finding ways to justify actions, and making excuses to explain why things happen. For example:

• A person might get angry and yell at their partner during an argument, but then later minimize their behavior and suggest that it wasn’t really that bad.
• A person might stop engaging in a behavior at their partner’s request but then replace it with another destructive habit. They might justify this new behavior by saying that at least they aren’t engaging in the old behavior anymore.
• A person might make excuses for not fulfilling household obligations. For example, they might say they don’t have time to cook, clean, or help with the kids because they are busy with work.

In Family Relationships

In a family relationship, a child might rationalize their parents’ absence from after-school events by attributing it to being busy with work. This can protect a child from feeling ignored, leaving the child feeling unsupported and neglecting their emotional needs.

Rationalization can take a severe toll on family relationships over time. While it might make the person using this defense mechanism feel better in the short term, it can erode trust and communication between family members.

In the Workplace

In the workplace, a person might rationalize getting passed over for an important promotion by suggesting that they didn’t really want the job in the first place. While this protects the person’s self-esteem, it can hold them back by preventing them from pursuing future job advancement opportunities.

Why We Use Rationalization as a Defense Mechanism

So, what is it that makes us rationalize things in the first place? It’s important to remember that rationalization is all about self-protection. When reality causes uncomfortable emotions or threatens our self-esteem, it’s natural to want to blunt the effects and find ways to make the situation feel less painful.

The specific reasons why we rationalize can vary depending on the person and the situation. Some of these reasons why people use rationalization to justify their behaviors include the following.

To Avoid Cognitive Dissonance

The psychology behind rationalization is that it acts as a way to provide logical justifications for unacceptable feelings or behaviors. This is driven by the need people have to maintain a sense of consistency.

By looking for seemingly rational explanations to justify behavior, people can maintain a sense of consistency in their beliefs, behaviors, and feelings. While these rationalizations misrepresent our true motivations, they protect us from the feelings of shame, guilt, or anxiety we might feel by admitting our true thoughts or behaviors.

To Maintain a Sense of Self

People also want to be able to see themselves in a positive light. Part of this involves being able to think that they act in ways that are consistent and in accordance with their values. Rationalization often serves as a way to maintain this positive outlook on the self.

To Protect Self-Esteem

Rationalization can protect self-esteem, but it does so at a cost. People may be able to better cope with stress in the moment, but it can also lead to further problems down the road. Refusing to acknowledge the truth of the situation can lead to faulty thinking, cognitive biases, and self-deceptions. It prevents people from being able to evaluate their own actions and make changes that can benefit them in the future.

Finding Healthy Ways to Deal With Emotions

If you use rationalization to ease feelings of anxiety or cope with troubling situations, recognize that the use of such defense mechanisms is both common and normal. In many cases, using these types of defenses allows us to alleviate stress in the moment until with are better equipped to emotionally process the situation.

Rationalization can become a problem if you use it excessively to avoid dealing with reality. If you want to find healthier ways to deal with emotions, improve communication, and handle conflict, the following strategies can be helpful:

Build Emotional Awareness

Becoming more aware of what you are feeling in the moment can help you avoid making excuses or hiding from your true motivations. Mindfulness is a practice that can help you become more aware of your thoughts without trying to avoid, judge, or explain them away.

Label Your Emotions

Once you get better at identifying what you are feeling, practice labeling these thoughts and emotions instead of trying to rationalize them.

Show Yourself Acceptance and Compassion

Instead of criticizing yourself or feeling ashamed about distressing thoughts or behaviors, work toward self-acceptance. Self-compassion can help you treat yourself with more kindness and understanding, even when you are dealing with difficult situations.

Find Support

When you find yourself trying to rationalize something, consider seeking out the support of a friend, family member, or other encouraging individuals. They can help you talk through the problem and think of ways of coping without trying to make excuses.

Reframe How You Think

If you notice yourself rationalizing a situation, consider changing your perspective. This strategy involves thinking about alternative explanations and intentionally trying to take a different or even more positive viewpoint when approaching a problem.

Takeaways

Rationalization is something that most people engage in from time to time. While it can have its benefits, it can also lead to poor accountability and bad decisions. Not dealing with your real motivations can also limit your personal growth.

Because rationalization is often used as a tool to avoid emotions, finding healthier ways of coping can be helpful if you find yourself using this defense mechanism too often. Building self-awareness, learning to identify emotions, and practicing emotional acceptance are a few strategies that can be helpful.

If you think rationalization might be holding you back and preventing you from acknowledging reality, consider talking to a mental health professional. By working with a therapist, you’ll be better able to identify rationalization and develop better ways to cope with difficult emotions.

Anger is often seen as an unpleasant, volatile, and disruptive emotion. But sometimes, it isn’t displayed openly at all. Suppressed anger is when you experience anger but do not express it, in either constructive or destructive ways, says David Klemanski, PsyD, MPH, a psychologist at Yale Medicine.

Everyone gets angry occasionally. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), anger is a normal human emotion that everyone experiences from time to time. Anger can range from faint annoyance to outright rage.

People, events, objects, situations, feelings, or memories can trigger anger. For example, a traffic jam, a pushy coworker, a broken zipper, or the memory of a rude comment can make you angry.

People react to anger in different ways. Some people express their anger verbally (shouting, cursing, arguing, or yelling), whereas others express it physically (throwing things, breaking objects, hitting walls, or getting into fights). However, some people don’t express their anger at all, and choose to suppress it instead.

While suppressed anger isn’t as easy to spot as outward anger, it can manifest in ways we might not expect, often leading to resentment, anxiety, depression, chronic stress, and strained relationships.

What Does Suppressed Anger Look Like?

Suppressed anger doesn’t always look like anger. It’s not about raising your voice or using harsh language—it often shows up in more subtle ways. Irritability, passive-aggressive behavior, feelings of exhaustion, and physical symptoms like headaches and muscle tension are a few common signs.

While there is no specific set of symptoms or characteristics of suppressed anger, there are some of potential ways it could manifest, according to Dr. Klemanski:

• Substitute emotions: Some people might substitute other emotions for anger. For instance, they might feel sad, depressed, anxious, guilty, or ashamed, rather than feeling angry.
• Numbness: Some people may deny their emotions to the extent that they may feel numb or shut down entirely.
• Passive aggression: Some people seek to avoid experiencing anger in order to avoid conflict. However, they may employ passive-aggressive behaviors instead. For instance, they may often pass sarcastic or snide comments, appear perpetually hostile and cynical, criticize everything, put others down constantly, or try to get back at people in indirect ways without telling them why they’re upset.
• Outbursts: After suppressing their anger for too long, some people eventually explode and have a major outburst of anger.

Take the Anger Test

This short, free 21-item test measures a variety of symptoms and feelings associated with anger, such as anger about the present and future, anger towards the self, and hostile feelings toward others.

This anger quiz was medically reviewed by Rachel Goldman, PhD, FTOS.

Negative Impacts

Suppressing emotions can be harmful to physical and mental health. Holding all that rage in doesn’t make it disappear or render it harmless. Instead, it just shifts the damage inward. Over time, suppressed anger can take a serious toll on your body, your mental health, and your relationships.

Below, Dr. Klemanski explains the impact of suppressing anger.

It Puts the Body in a State of Stress

On a physical level, suppressing emotions, anger included, can lead to physical stress on the body.

Anger is a biological response to perceived threats, so your body goes into a hyper alert state that is designed to help you survive. In this state, your blood pressure and heart rate increase and your body releases certain hormones, which give you a burst of energy.

It Affects Emotional Processing

All of our emotions are messages to us. Each time we overlook an emotion, we lose the opportunity to reflect, learn from it, and develop insights into our priorities and values.

Ignoring or suppressing emotions can create issues whereby people don’t adequately learn how to express themselves in critical moments or when emotions are experienced with greater intensity than usual.

It Can Lead to Mental Health Conditions

Anger can be a particularly intense negative emotion that might come from feeling disrespected, diminished, shamed, or belittled, or feeling a loss of power or control. 

Ignoring anger and the issues that caused it can lead to other mental health problems, such as depression, anxiety, or even controlling behaviors related to habits, food, substances, etc.

It Can Damage Relationships

Suppressed anger can also wreak havoc on your personal relationships. It can cause you to act in ways that might be contrary to your personal values, thereby impacting your boundaries and your ability to be genuine and authentic with others.

How to Cope With Suppressed Anger

If you tend to suppress your anger rather than expressing it in a healthy manner, it may be helpful to see a mental healthcare professional who can help you cope with it. Dr. Klemanski outlines some of the treatment approaches that may be helpful:

Mindfulness

Mindfulness can be a healthy approach to developing awareness about when you experience an emotion, how intensely you experience it, and how you manage that emotion in the moment. Mindfully observing what triggers your anger and how you characteristically behave when you’re angry can help you express your emotions more constructively.

Emotional Management

Learning emotion management skills can be useful, including educating yourself about your emotions, understanding how emotions show up in your everyday life, and identifying triggers to your emotions.

It can also be helpful to learn how to both acknowledge and accept your emotional experiences rather than trying to rid yourself of them, so that you can learn how to manage them when it counts.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Using principles of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can also be useful, such as learning to replace unhelpful thought patterns with helpful ones, as well as practicing skills and strategies for managing intense emotions when they occur.

Journaling

It can be helpful to maintain a journal where you note down things that made you angry, how they made you feel, and what you did at the time. This can help improve your emotional awareness.

Takeaways

Sometimes we get angry for valid reasons, whereas other times we get angry for trivial reasons. However, regardless of the cause, we need to be able to regulate our emotions and express them in healthy ways. While having angry outbursts isn’t the answer, it’s important to learn how to set boundaries and communicate negative emotions constructively.

Suppressing anger can harm our relationships and affect our mental and physical health. If you tend to suppress your anger, it can be helpful to start being more mindful about what causes you to feel angry, how you respond in those situations, and how it affects your life and your relationships. A mental health professional can help you work through the anger-related issues you’re facing.