Why Is Loyalty So Important?

Loyalty is a virtue we value in relationships with family, friends, romantic partners, workplaces, organizations, religions, and nations. But what is loyalty, and why is it important?

This article explores the characteristics, benefits, and drawbacks of loyalty, as well as some strategies to build loyalty in relationships.

Characteristics of Loyalty

Loyalty is faithfulness, dedication, honesty, trust, and support in a relationship, says Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, clinical psychologist and professor at Yeshiva University in New York City. It requires an emotional commitment and engenders a sense of identity. Below, Dr. Romanoff explains some of the characteristics of loyalty.

Steadfastness and Support

Loyalty involves accepting and loving someone for who they are and not threatening to leave when things become challenging. People display loyalty by weathering storms together, providing support, and sticking them out.

Consistency

Loyalty means being consistent in your treatment, behavior, and regard for another—being the person they can always count on. Loyalty also involves consistently treating the other person with kindness, fairness, and generosity of spirit.

Honesty and Transparency

Being vulnerable and not hiding parts of your identity or parts of your life are important aspects of loyalty. People who share their thoughts and feelings display a willingness to be known and to know others in an authentic, open way.

Benefits and Drawbacks of Loyalty

Loyalty can have both benefits and drawbacks, as Dr. Romanoff explains.

Benefits of Loyalty

Loyalty can strengthen relationships because people are more honest and forthcoming when they know the other person is loyal. It engenders trust and closeness in relationships.

This is true for romantic, work, family, and social relationships. When we feel others are loyal to us, we can be authentic and take off the socially acceptable filters that we tend to display our behaviors through.

Loyalty helps build support, which is important for mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Knowing you have people who have your back and will be there for you when you need them can help you feel secure.

Drawbacks of Loyalty

Some people remain in relationships that no longer serve them. In these instances, their sense of loyalty can cause them to become exploited or abused. Although loyalty is an important trait, it should never be used against someone.

Someone who is loyal can have difficulty recognizing when someone they love is manipulating them. An outside perspective from a friend, family member, colleague, or therapist who has their best interests at heart can be helpful.

You can’t always sever relationships completely, but setting boundaries with people who are taking advantage of your loyalty is important.

How to Build Loyalty

Dr. Romanoff suggests these tips—and some time—to help build loyalty.

• Show appreciation: Show that you value the person. Communicate how important their presence is in your life. Don’t take them for granted. Showing someone your loyalty can foster their loyalty, too.
• Be supportive: Offer encouragement when they’re struggling, and help them face their problems. Don’t give up on them when challenges arise. They should know you’re there for them through thick and thin.
• Maintain their confidence: If they share their secrets, hopes, plans, fears, or insecurities with you, respect their privacy and avoid passing judgment.
• Keep promises: Make it a point to follow through on commitments. Be honest if you can’t.
• Honor your relationship. Be faithful in whatever way you and your partner define that.
• Be honest: Don’t keep secrets. Be authentic with them, even when vulnerability is uncomfortable. Being your true self helps promote trust and loyalty.
• Act in their best interests: Acting on ulterior motives, talking behind their back, or embarrassing them in public shows disloyalty.
• Address problems within the relationship: Manage issues directly instead of talking about them to other people. This shows that you value your relationship and don’t seek or require external validation.
• Treat them fairly: If you’re having a disagreement, consider their perspective, even if it clashes with yours. Ignoring or avoiding difficult conversations can cause issues later on.