Small Joys That Gave Us Strength Through Cancer Treatment

When you’re going through cancer treatment, so many people want to help. They mean well. They send texts asking, “How are you?” and ask about specifics of your treatment; they might even send ice cream through the mail.

Sometimes those things can be helpful. Sometimes not.

It’s hard to know if you haven’t experienced it yourself, but unfortunately, we have (Brooks Bell was diagnosed with Stage III colon cancer when she was 38, Sarah Beran with Stage IV when she was 34). We both went through surgery and several rounds of chemotherapy to treat our cancer, a treatment that’s notorious for being both physically and emotionally exhausting.

For both of us, it was a defining time in our lives, one of profound insight, but also fear and pain. There were moments of connection and meaning, but also times when the whole thing felt unbearable.

What Helped in Hard Times

Here are a few things that truly lifted us up throughout our journey.

Sensory Comfort and Finding Peace in Nature

For Sarah, the two days following chemo were always the hardest, but just taking a shower or bath helped. “Something about the warm water felt cleansing. It made me feel human again.” 

Brooks created what she now realizes was a “forest bathing” ritual. Before each chemo infusion, she’d go into a special place in the woods, alone—no phone, no music, just herself and the power of the surrounding nature. “I’d walk slowly, count the leaves, listen to the wind,” she says. “I felt like the forest came alive to hold me. I’d go in and sit in the middle of a creek and feel grounded, like I had a secret source of strength.

Sarah also found peace in nature—she and her kids would draw with sidewalk chalk, go on walks, or just sit outside. “Being with them was everything. I couldn’t always join in the activity, which was painful, but just hearing their voices helped me remember what I was fighting for.”

Jolene Brighten, NMD, FABNE, MSCP, naturopathic physician and author of “Is This Normal?” says, “Rituals like grounding barefoot on the earth, forest bathing, or simply soaking in a warm bath are more than comforting—they help regulate the nervous system, lower cortisol, and support the immune system. These small acts anchor us in the present and remind the body it is safe.”

She continues, “Even the way we speak to ourselves matters. Kind, compassionate self-talk can calm inflammation and activate pathways in the brain that promote healing. During serious illness, these practices become a bridge between the body, mind, and spirit.”

A Playlist, a Pushup (or 10), a Glitter Bomb of Positivity

“My family was so incredibly supportive, and we turned everything into a ritual,” says Sarah. “I had a playlist for chemo days. We blasted the song “Freedom” by George Michael when my husband would take the needle out of the port in my chest for the second dose of chemo each time at home. I watched a video my friends and family made for me of all of them doing pushups before every treatment—it was called ‘Strong for Sarah’, and everyone did 10 pushups each, to remind me how strong I was. It was all of my people rooting for me, and it was very special.”

Brooks had a different kind of visual strategy: glitter. “I created this theme, and it was glitter. I wore glitter shoes. Painted my nails glittery pink. I asked friends to send me pictures of their glitter nails. The angle was, I was going to ‘ob-glitter-ate’—or ‘obliterate’—the cancer…and I imagined the chemo was glitter—this magical substance wiping out the cancer.” It was a way to reclaim the story. “If I had to do this, I was going to turn it into something light and fun and playful.”

“One of the most empowering things I’ve seen my cancer patients do is to shift into a mindset of empowerment over fear,” says naturopathic medical doctor Chelsea Azarcon, NMD. “When you are diagnosed with cancer, it’s easy to feel like your body is out of control. Shifting your mindset helps take back control.”

Low-stakes Connection from People Who Meant It

Sarah’s friends and family created a 365-day prayer chain where someone different prayed for her each day. “Even people who weren’t religious joined in. It made me feel really seen,” she says.

For Brooks, it was flowers. “People think it’s a cliché, but flowers are just so classic,” she says. “They didn’t ask anything of me. I didn’t have to respond. It was just a really lovely, kind of low-pressure acknowledgment that they were thinking about me, that they cared.”

What Made It Harder

Here are a few things that made our journey harder despite the best intentions.

The Best Intentions, the Wrong Gifts

People sent Sarah lemon and ginger food and drink items because they thought it would help with nausea. “After a while, it was just too much. It started triggering me. And because of the chemo, certain smells made me sick,” she says. “Lavender lotion or candles – I just couldn’t.”

Or people would send ice cream from afar, but Sarah couldn’t even touch it because the chemo had made her so sensitive to cold. Anything even remotely cold made her hands and face sting. “It was such a nice idea, and even though I really wanted to, I just had to let the kids enjoy it,” she says.

Unwelcome Questions or Comments

Words matter – and especially when someone’s going through a tough period, it can be easy to say the wrong thing. “I hated when people asked if I had an ileostomy bag,” Sarah says. “I did for five months, and I was so embarrassed at the time. I didn’t want to talk about it. I guess it was just them wanting to know what I was going through, but that question is so deeply personal.”

Justin Yopp, PhD, associate professor of psychiatry at the University of North Carolina School of Medicine and program director of the UNC Lineberger Comprehensive Cancer Support Program, adds, “Family, friends, and the community can be key in supporting healthy coping during cancer treatment. At the same time, patients may be on the receiving end of unwanted sympathy, advice, or personal anecdotes. Patients should feel empowered to be clear with others about what is and isn’t supportive. People usually just want to help, so let them know what’s helpful.”

Other tough comments? “Assuming my lifestyle was to blame,” Sarah says. “We were just unlucky, and we got cancer, and it sucks. But I lived a very healthy lifestyle before. I know now that the only thing that could have prevented my cancer – both of ours – was a colonoscopy – to remove polyps before they developed into cancer.”

Brooks adds, “I struggled with the word ‘fighter.’ It just felt false because I didn’t have energy to fight – I didn’t have energy to do anything while on chemotherapy. I wasn’t ‘fighting’—I was just a shell of myself. Same with ‘survivor’. It makes it sound like we earned it. But honestly? It’s mostly luck.”

What Helped Us the Most

At the end of the day, it was the small things. Little gestures that showed someone was thinking of us, caring about us, or best of all, offering us something we didn’t have to arrange or accept on someone else’s schedule.

“’What can I do to help?’ is usually profoundly unhelpful,” says Brooks. “Because there’s not really anything you can do to help my cancer, and the types of ways that people can help are usually inconvenient for them, or feel weird to ask for. But what I really could have used was someone to come by and walk my dog, or bring me cooked lunch per my specific treatment dietary restrictions, or just come take a walk with me in the middle of the day. That would have been huge.”

So if you’re supporting someone with cancer, don’t overthink it or try to solve it. Just say, “I’m here, I’m thinking of you.” Send something small and kind – but maybe ask first if there’s anything they have too much of, or they’re even hating right now! And remember that even if treatment ends, the journey’s not going to be over for years.

We who have “survived” cancer – even if that’s not Brooks’ favorite way to talk about it – live with the constant fear of recurrence.

And that’s one thing that led us to create Worldclass. Reducing climbing rates of this disease is our mission, but so is showing people who are at all points along a cancer journey – even if they’re just loved ones and allies – that they’re not alone. It’s important to know that so many people have your back – including us, in spirit.

Key Takeaways

• If someone you know is battling cancer, avoid putting the onus on them to answer how they’re feeling or letting you know how you can help them.
• Offer up something they don’t have the bandwidth or energy to do, like walking their dog or bringing them a home-cooked meal.
• If you’re unable to do these things, or if they don’t accept them, simply letting them know you’re there is enough to help them feel supported and less alone.