WGN Chicago is joined by Selective Search Vice President Lisa Hutcherson. Lisa shares dating advice for Valentine’s Day, and …
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The Psychology Behind Heroism
Key Takeaways
- Heroism involves prosocial, courageous behavior that helps individuals and improves society.
- People can learn to be more heroic through education and social activism.
- Some heroes take risks because they are naturally generous and compassionate.
Heroes touch our hearts, fill us with admiration, and make us reconsider our views of the world. Just look at the plethora of superhero movies that are made and it’s easy to see how much our society values and loves heroes.
But what makes real-life people take heroic actions in the face of great danger? This question is at the heart of hero psychology and requires that we first define what heroism is.
Defining Heroism
In a strict dictionary sense, heroism is defined as taking a courageous action. An example would be running into a burning building to save children inside. Yet, in the field of psychology, the definition of heroism can vary from one psychologist or researcher to the next.
According to one review of the literature, researchers from various departments of psychology indicate that a hero is someone who:
- Uplifts and enhances other people’s lives
- Models societal morals, values, and virtues
- Protects others
Others suggest that the definition of heroism is more subjective and “in the eye of the beholder.” They contend that how heroism is defined varies based on a person’s values, personal preferences, stage of life, and even their level of maturity.
Examples of Heroism
Perhaps the best way to understand heroism is to see it in action. When looking around, we can find many examples of heroism in everyday life.
- On November 6, 2023, a police officer in the Lincoln, Nebraska area was called a hero for risking his own life to save a kayaker who had flipped over in dangerously cold water and crying for help. Upon hearing her cries, Officer Pierce Krouse removed his gear, swam to the woman, put her on the kayak, and returned them both to shore.
- In March 2023, 5-year-old Easton Spann was awarded the American Red Cross’s Acts of Courage award and declared a hero for taking action when his grandmother was having a seizure. Spann is on the autism spectrum and, with his grandfather’s instruction, was able to unlock the home, open the door, and watch for rescuers to arrive.
- Tescha Hawley was declared one of CNN’s 2023 Heroes of the Year for using her own fight with cancer to help others in her Native American community who are battling this disease. Hawley does this through the Day Eagle Hope Project which she founded in 2017. This project not only provides individuals with much-needed support but also offers access to fresh food, help with chemical addiction, and equine therapy as a form of suicide prevention for at-risk youth.
The Psychology of Heroism
Why do people like those mentioned above become heroes? Are there any characteristics of heroism that these individuals seem to share? These are the types of questions that the psychology of heroism attempts to answer. Here are a few theories related to hero psychology.
“Big H Heroism” vs. “Small h Heroism”
Psychology professor Frank Farley makes a distinction between what he calls “big H heroism” and “small h heroism.” Big H heroism involves a potentially big risk such as getting hurt, going to jail, or even death. Small h heroism, on the other hand, involves things many of us do every day: helping someone out, being kind, and standing up for justice. These things don’t typically involve personal risk on our part.
Farley suggests that there are two key factors underlying the grand acts of heroism that involve a risk of personal harm: risk-taking behavior and generosity. People who risk their lives in the service of another are naturally more likely to take greater risks and they also possess a great deal of compassion, kindness, empathy, and altruism.
Nature vs. Nurture
One of the biggest questions researchers face comes down to the age-old debate over nature versus nurture. Is heroism something we are born with or is heroism something that can be learned?
Researchers have long theorized that both people and animals are more likely to help those to whom they are genetically related, a concept known as kin selection. By helping those who share our genes, we help ensure the likelihood that those genes will be passed on to future generations.
Others suggest that heroism can be learned. The Heroic Imagination Project operates on this notion, seeking to “create everyday heroes” through strategies that combine psychological research, education, and social activism.
Reciprocal Altruism
Another theory as to why some people commit heroic acts for others is based on the concept of reciprocity. More specifically, it involves reciprocal altruism. According to reciprocal altruism, we help others with the expectation that someday they might help us in return.
Other Influential Factors
What about the kinds of altruism that don’t hinge on helping relatives or expecting some type of payback? In such cases, situational, cultural, and personality variables can play pivotal roles.
After people take heroic actions, they often claim that they don’t see themselves as heroes. They were simply doing what anyone in that situation would have done.
In a study published in 2016, researchers suggested that those who have a particular mindset that leads them to behave confidently and morally in difficult situations tend to act immediately and unconsciously when an emergency occurs.
What Causes Someone to Not Be Heroic?
The same situational forces that galvanize some individuals to heroic acts can actually impede others from helping. When a crisis arises in the presence of many people, we can fall into a trap of inaction by assuming that someone else will offer assistance, a phenomenon known as the bystander effect.
Because personal responsibility is diffused by the presence of others, we believe that someone else will take on the role of the hero. Some people may also have personality traits that predispose them to not behave in altruistic and heroic ways.
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5 Things People in the Happiest Relationships Do Every Week That Most Neglect
Key Takeaways
- It doesn’t take grand gestures to ensure happiness in a relationship. When we are attentive to our partners daily, we can build lasting happiness.
- Setting aside time for relationship check-ins and having grounding rituals gives you the space to come together again.
- Sharing moments of playfulness and intimacy can remind us how to have fun in our relationships
The key to joyful relationships may lie in the small, often overlooked moments of life. After years of working with clients and on my own relationship, I’ve noticed that the happiest couples develop intentional rituals that infuse their relationships with meaning.
The happiest couples aren’t those who avoid all conflict or make grand gestures, explains licensed marriage and family therapist, Soo Jin Lee, LMFT. “They’re the ones who consistently return to small, shared moments of presence and attunement,” she says.
Here are five weekly practices to bring joy to your relationship.
Relationship Check-Ins
Maybe your partner upset you recently. A conversation didn’t go the way you’d hoped, or they forgot to do something that really mattered to you. To avoid letting those feelings simmer until they blow up into a fight, schedule routine relationship check-ins.
“What sets [happy] couples apart is their commitment to emotional maintenance, not just crisis management,” Lee says. “They don’t wait for a blow-up to address disconnection.”
The beauty of holding regular relationship chats is knowing there will always be a time to talk openly. This gives you both the space to understand your different perspectives, diffusing tension that might breed frustration later on.
“[The relationship check-in] can be a conversation on how you’re both doing, what has worked and hasn’t worked this past week, and where you need more support or can support each other,” says licensed mental health counselor Nirmala Bijraj, LMHC.
You can use the time to thank your partner for their support and share positive emotions as well as to address specific pain points, Bijraj says. It’s a powerful way to build strong communication and acceptance, which are fundamental to a healthy relationship.
Play Together
Playfulness is a powerful tool for building intimacy. Happy couples find ways to infuse their lives with moments of fun: they might start an impromptu race in the swimming pool or a dance party during dish duty.
Being goofy and lighthearted together boosts emotional connection, sparks positive feelings, and gives you both the freedom to be your authentic selves. Research consistently shows that playfulness reduces stress and fosters openness for growth.
“Couples who build lasting connections often share creative or playful rituals that disrupt autopilot,” Lee says. “This might look like voice memo love notes throughout the week, ‘dream dates’ where they plan imaginary vacations together, or revisiting old memories with photo albums and stories.”
Create Meaningful Rituals
Couples inevitably develop shared routines. Lee says that happy couples often enhance these daily rhythms by creating a habit of carving out moments for intentional connection.
They may take a moment to co-regulate their nervous systems with sensory experiences. That could include lighting a candle before dinner, cooking a nostalgic meal, slow dancing in the kitchen, or sharing a mindfulness practice.
“When couples slow down together, even briefly, they shift from managing life side-by-side to living life together again,” Lee says.
When couples slow down together, even briefly, they shift from managing life side-by-side to living life together again.
“What makes these habits stick is their meaning, not their complexity,” she adds. “When rituals are rooted in your unique culture, story, and love language, they become sustainable. They’re less about ‘hacking happiness’ and more about remembering what it feels like to come home to each other.”
Give Each Other Space
Happy couples know how to give each other space. I’m still learning this lesson myself.
My partner and I share a full life, spending time together with his kids, visiting the same friends, and nurturing similar interests. However, we’ve learned that spending too much time together can cause friction.
We decided to bring polarity back to our relationship by focusing on what makes us ‘us’. We take separate vacations and spend some evenings apart. We sometimes do different activities in the same room: he might play a video game while I read a book.
Prioritizing ourselves allows us to return to each other feeling more grounded. We can stay connected within healthy limits because we’re not expecting to be everything for one another.
Prioritize Intimacy
We know how important physical intimacy is for healthy relationships. Research shows that sexual activity can reduce stress, lower blood pressure, and lead to lower divorce rates.
But there are lots of ways to build intimacy beyond sex. You might check in with your partner after a hard day, hold hands in the car, send a spontaneous flirty text, or surprise your partner with little gifts. Sprinkling in moments of closeness can keep the romance alive and prevent couples from feeling like roommates.
Bijraj says couples can kickstart those moments of daily connection by asking open-ended questions like “What part of your day was most fun?” or “What was the most interesting part of your day?”
“Take a few minutes where you connect emotionally and not just around logistical things of your day,” she says.
Bottom Line
The happiest couples aren’t doing anything extraordinary. They show up in small ways: a check-in, maintaining a silly inside joke, holding hands on the way home, and respecting their personhood.
Although these habits aren’t flashy, these small gestures will add up to a big impact in the happiness of your relationship.
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Modern Dating Tips You Won't Believe! DO NOT ATTEMPT! – kerBLINK!
Swell dating tips! Just in time for Valentine’s Day!! Outdated and outrageous! kerBLINK – Kirby Heyborne & Lincoln Hoppe …
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What Is Cross-Cultural Psychology?
Key Takeaways
- Cross-cultural psychology studies how culture affects human behavior and thoughts.
- Different cultures may have varying views on individualism and collectivism.
- Researchers often rely on samples that are primarily Western, industrialized, rich, and democratic, which may limit the study’s applicability to other cultures.
Cross-cultural psychology is a branch of psychology that looks at how cultural factors influence human behavior. While many aspects of human thought and behavior are universal, cultural differences can lead to often surprising differences in how people think, feel, and act.
Some cultures, for example, might stress individualism and the importance of personal autonomy. Other cultures may place a higher value on collectivism and cooperation among members of the group. Such differences can play an influential role in many aspects of life.
This article discusses the history of cross-cultural psychology, different types of cross-cultural psychology, and applications of this field. It also discusses the impact it has had on the understanding of human psychology.
What Is Culture?
Culture refers to many characteristics of a group of people, including attitudes, behaviors, customs, religious beliefs, and values that are transmitted from one generation to the next. Cultures throughout the world share many similarities but are also marked by considerable differences. For example, while people of all cultures experience happiness, how this feeling is expressed varies from one culture to the next.
The goal of cross-cultural psychologists is to look at both universal behaviors and unique behaviors to identify the ways in which culture influences behavior, family life, education, social experiences, and other areas.
History of Cross-Cultural Psychology
Cross-cultural psychology is an important topic. Researchers strive to understand both the differences and similarities among people of various cultures throughout the world.
The International Association of Cross-Cultural Psychology (IACCP) was established in 1972, and this branch of psychology has continued to grow and develop since that time. Today, increasing numbers of psychologists investigate how behavior differs among various cultures throughout the world.
After prioritizing European and North American research for many years, Western researchers began to question whether many of the observations and ideas once believed to be universal might apply to cultures outside of these areas. Could their findings and assumptions about human psychology be biased based on the sample from which their observations were drawn?
Many of the findings described by psychologists are focused on a specific group of people, which some researchers have dubbed Western, Educated, Industrialized, Rich, and Democratic, often referred to by the acronym WEIRD.
As a result, cross-cultural psychologists suggest that many observations about human thought and behavior may only be generalizable to specific subgroups. To develop a broader, richer understanding of people that can be applied to a wider variety of cultural settings, it is essential for researchers to also look at people from diverse cultures.
Despite recognizing that research has a strong Western bias, evidence suggests that this bias persists today. According to one analysis of six prominent psychology research journals, around 90% of participants in psychology research are drawn from Western, industrialized countries, 60% of which were American.
Recap
Cross-cultural psychologists work to rectify many of the biases that may exist in the current research and determine if the phenomena that appear in European and North American cultures also appear in other parts of the world.
Types of Cross-Cultural Psychology
Many cross-cultural psychologists choose to focus on one of two approaches:
- The etic approach studies culture through an “outsider” perspective, applying one “universal” set of concepts and measurements to all cultures.
- The emic approach studies culture using an “insider” perspective, analyzing concepts within the specific context of the observed culture.
It is also common for cross-cultural psychologists to take a combined emic-etic approach.
Meanwhile, some cross-cultural psychologists also study something known as ethnocentrism. Ethnocentrism refers to a tendency to use your own culture as the standard by which to judge and evaluate other cultures.
In other words, taking an ethnocentric point of view means using your understanding of your own culture to gauge what is “normal.” This can lead to biases and a tendency to view cultural differences as abnormal or in a negative light. It can also make it difficult to see how your cultural background influences your behaviors.
Cross-cultural psychologists often look at how ethnocentrism influences our behaviors and thoughts, including how we interact with individuals from other cultures.
Psychologists are also concerned with how ethnocentrism can influence the research process. For example, a study might be criticized for having an ethnocentric bias.
Topics in Cross-Cultural Psychology
Cross-cultural psychology explores many subjects, focusing on how culture affects different aspects of development, thought, and behavior. Some important areas of study include:
- Emotions: This field seeks to understand if all people experience emotions the same way and if emotional expressions are universal.
- Language acquisition: This area explores whether language development follows the same path throughout different cultures.
- Child development: This topic investigates how culture affects child development and whether different cultural practices influence the course of development. For example, psychologists might investigate how child-rearing practices differ in various cultures and how these practices impact variables such as achievement, self-esteem, and subjective well-being.
- Personality: This area researches the degree to which different aspects of personality might be influenced or tied to cultural influences.
- Social behavior: Cultural norms and expectations can have a powerful effect on social behavior, which this topic seeks to understand.
- Family and social relationships: Familial and other interpersonal relationships can also be heavily influenced by societies and cultures.
- Mental health: Professionals who provide mental health services should embrace cultural sensitivity. There can be significant differences in emotional expression, social behaviors, and spiritual beliefs across cultures that are “normal” within the context of the person’s culture and should not be treated as a symptom or disorder.
Recap
Cross-cultural psychology seeks to understand how culture influences many different aspects of human emotion, thought, and behavior. Cross-cultural psychologists often study child development, personality, and social relationships. Mental health professionals should be culturally sensitive to differing norms in the context of culture.
Uses for Cross-Cultural Psychology
Cross-cultural psychology touches on a wide range of topics, so students interested in other psychology topics may choose to also focus on this area of psychology. For example, a child psychologist might study how child-rearing practices in different cultures impact development.
Cross-cultural psychology can help teachers, educators, and curriculum designers who create multicultural education lessons and materials learn more about how cultural differences affect student learning, achievement, and motivation.
In the field of social psychology, applying a cross-cultural view might lead researchers to study how social cognition might vary in an individualist culture versus a collectivist culture. Do people from each culture rely on the same types of social cues? What cultural differences might influence how people perceive each other?
Impact of Cross-Cultural Psychology
Many other branches of psychology focus on how parents, friends, and other people impact human behavior. However, most do not take into account the powerful impact that culture may have on individual human actions.
Cross-cultural psychology focuses on studying human behavior in a way that takes the effects of culture into account.
The study of cross-cultural psychology and the inclusion of more representative and diverse samples in psychology research is essential for understanding the universality and uniqueness of different psychological phenomena. Recognizing how different factors manifest in various cultures can help researchers better understand the underlying influences and causes.
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The Health Benefits of Chromium Picolinate
Key Takeaways
- Chromium picolinate may help improve depression by increasing serotonin levels in the brain.
- Most people get enough chromium through diet, but supplements can be considered if needed.
Chromium picolinate is a compound sold as a nutritional supplement. One of the most highly claimed benefits of chromium picolinate is that it helps with weight loss, although it’s not clear that it actually works as a diet aid. Chromium picolinate supplements are also thought to potentially serve as a natural depression treatment.
Before you head to the health food store and pick some up, it’s helpful to learn some of the research-based chromium benefits. We also answer a few of the most frequently asked questions about this mineral, such as when you should take a chromium picolinate supplement.
Always check with your doctor before taking a nutritional supplement. It’s also important to know that dietary supplements are not regulated by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA). This means they are not reviewed for safety or effectiveness before being marketed.
Overview of Chromium Picolinate
Chromium is a mineral that can be found in two main states. The first is trivalent, also referred to as CR III, and is the state in which chromium is “an essential dietary element.” The second is hexavalent or CR VI, which is found in industrial pollution and considered toxic.
Chemical forms of CR III, the form of chromium found in food and dietary supplements, include:
- Chromium chloride
- Chromium histidinate
- Chromium malate
- Chromium nicotinate
- Chromium picolinate
- Chromium polynicotinate
- Chromium trichloride
Research shows that, in humans, chromium picolinate is absorbed at a much higher rate than other chemical forms of this mineral—chromium picolinate has a 2.8% absorption rate compared to a 0.1% to 0.4% absorption rate for chromium chloride, for instance.
A higher absorption rate means that more of the mineral gets into the bloodstream for use.
Health Benefits of Chromium Picolinate
Chromium is involved in the metabolism of carbohydrates, proteins, and fats. In this role, it provides a number of physical health benefits. Some of the benefits of chromium are:
Chromium also helps convert glucose into energy. In this capacity, it may provide positive effects on insulin resistance, which is a precursor to diabetes.
Chromium Picolante for Depression
Some research has also connected chromium with mental health benefits. Perhaps the notable is that it may help both prevent and provide relief from depression. There are a few theories about chromium benefits depression.
It May Help Increase Serotonin Levels
One theory is based on early-stage animal studies and has to do with the way chromium causes cells to be more sensitive to insulin. This increased sensitivity is thought to help transport an amino acid called tryptophan across the blood-brain barrier and into the central nervous system.
Tryptophan is converted into a neurotransmitter called serotonin. Serotonin is a neurotransmitter that is associated with mood and behavior. Therefore, the more tryptophan that is transported by insulin, the more serotonin that’s available in the brain, which may play a role in improving mood.
Chromium might also help depression by inducing and enhancing the release of norepinephrine, another mood-regulating neurotransmitter.
It May Decrease Activity in a Critical Receptor
Chromium also seems to decrease the activity of a particular type of serotonin receptor called a 5-HT 2A receptor. The activation of this receptor has been associated with an increased risk for depression.
It’s unclear how chromium picolinate works to decrease the activity in this receptor. However, the effect is similar to that seen in people who’ve used antidepressants for a long time.
Is Chromium Picolinate Effective for Depression?
Regardless of how it works, past studies have found that patients’ depression scores improve after taking chromium picolinate, adding that treatment with this mineral is typically well-tolerated.
Chromium picolinate has shown promise for treating subtypes of depression that affect carbohydrate cravings and appetite regulation, such as atypical depression.
For example, one study showed that chromium may affect symptoms such as increased appetite, eating, and carbohydrate cravings.
The research looking at chromium for treating depression is very preliminary, and findings have been mixed. Studies supporting its use are older, and there is a need for more current research. So, it’s a long way from clear that chromium truly could be a viable treatment for depression.
Side Effects of Chromium Picolinate
The good news is that most people are able to take chromium without any problem. Since it is generally safe, if chromium does become a potential treatment for depression, it’s likely to be easy for most people to use.
In some cases, chromium may cause an upset stomach. More severe side effects associated with chromium that should prompt an immediate call to your healthcare provider include:
- Allergic reaction
- Cramps or pain in the muscles
- Signs of low blood sugar (confusion, dizziness, sweating, shaky, clammy skin)
- Urinary tract issues or changes
Chromium Picolinate Drug Interactions
Certain medications can interact with chromium. In some cases, medications may impair or increase the absorption of chromium. In other instances, chromium may interfere with or enhance the effects of medications.
Talk to your doctor before taking chromium if you are currently taking any of the following:
Who Should Not Take Chromium Picolinate?
Do not take chromium supplements if you are pregnant or breastfeeding. Also, do not give supplements to children as the effects and safety for this demographic have not been established.
Some cases have been reported of chromium supplements leading to kidney damage, as well as evidence that supplements can cause liver damage. So, you should not take these mineral supplements if you already have a kidney or liver problem.
Because chromium may affect your insulin levels, you should also consult your doctor and monitor your blood sugar closely if you have diabetes.
If you have kidney disease, liver disease, or diabetes, avoid taking chromium supplements or talk to your doctor first.
Chromium Picolinate Dosage and Preparation
Chromium is widely available over the counter. Supplements are available in capsule and tablet form, but they can also be taken as a powder and mixed with a liquid for ingestion. Chromium is also available by prescription as an injection.
Where to Find Chromium Picolinate
Chromium is often sold as an individual supplement but is also included in products that are marketed for performance enhancement and weight loss. U.S. food labeling requirements established by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) state that 100% of the Daily Value (DV) of chromium is 35 micrograms (mcg) per day.
How Much Should You Take?
Because it is unknown how much chromium people need, there are no recommended dietary allowances (RDA) for this supplement. Supplements often contain between 50 and 200mcg per dosage. The suggested dosage for this injection is 10 to 15 mcg per day for adults.
| Adequate Intakes (AI) for Chromium | ||
|---|---|---|
| Age | Male (mcg/day) | Female (mcg/day) |
| 9–13 years | 25 | 21 |
| 14–18 years | 35 | 24 |
| 19–50 years | 35 | 25 |
| Over 50 years | 30 | 20 |
The National Institutes of Health reports that a small study found that adult women average 29mcg of chromium per day, which meets their adequate intake needs. Men, on the other hand, take in an average of 54mcg per day, which means they exceed the recommended adequate intake amounts.
Chromium Picolinate Dosage for Depression
There are no current chromium dosage recommendations for people who have depression. One study found that taking 600mcg to 1000mcg of chromium per day was linked to a reduction in depression symptoms, but further research is needed.
How Much Is Too Much?
While studies have examined the effects of chromium supplements in varying dosages, it is not yet known how much is too much and what the potential effects of excessive chromium intake may be. Because of this, the National Academy of Science has not established an upper limit (UL) for chromium.
More research on the safety and efficacy of chromium supplementation is needed, so you should always talk to your healthcare provider before taking any supplements.
How to Increase Chromium Picolinate Intake
Most people meet or exceed their adequate intake levels of chromium through diet alone. If you decide that a supplement is needed to get the benefits of chromium, choose one from a reputable brand and retailer.
Always follow the dosage recommendations and talk to your healthcare provider about any potential interactions or concerns beforehand.
You can also increase your chromium intake through your diet as it is found in food, albeit in very small amounts. The top ten food sources of chromium, ranked from the highest amount per serving to the lowest, include:
- Grape juice
- Ham
- English muffin
- Brewer’s yeast
- Orange juice
- Beef
- Lettuce
- Turkey Breast
- Barbeque sauce
- Tomato juice
Frequently Asked Questions
-
What happens if people become deficient in chromium?Chromium deficiency may result in blood sugar issues. However, chromium deficiency is rare.
-
What are the risks of taking too much chromium?It’s rare to take in too much chromium, potentially because it has such low availability rates. Although, high doses of any trace mineral can result in damage to the liver and kidney.
-
What’s the best time to take chromium picolinate?Since chromium can interfere with sleep, it’s a good idea to take chromium picolinate supplements in the morning.
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Dating Tips for Dennis – The Play That Goes Wrong
He’s never been on a date before, so Dennis needs some help from his Cornley Polytechnic castmates. Follow The Play that Goes …
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22 Quotes About Heartbreak and Moving On
Key Takeaways
- Quotes can help us process our grief and feel less alone.
- Reading quotes about heartbreak can offer new perspectives on our situation.
- Quotes can motivate us and make us feel powerful during tough times.
As they say, breaking up is hard to do. But seriously, the pain of losing a romantic partner can be so profound that you feel physical pain—as if your heart is literally breaking into two pieces. I remember when I split from my first serious boyfriend in college and could barely eat or get out of bed for a week.
But to be real with you, while you’re probably deep in those feels right now and it may seem like the swirling anguish is impossible to emerge from, the truth is that this too shall pass. Almost everyone has endured a painful breakup and has come out on the other side all the better for their experience.
Still, we need support. And when you’ve talked your mom and bestie’s ear off on the subject and are lying in bed on your phone, scrolling through self-help articles in tears, the wise words of exceptional writers, incredible poets, proverbs, and experts can be quite handy. They have a knack for saying exactly the right thing to help you move through even the most difficult breakup and find your way back to yourself.
23 Quotes to Mend a Broken Heart
We’ve put together a list of quotes about enduring heartbreak, moving forward after cutting ties, and easing the pain of a shattered heart. We hope that reading through them might help you find solace in the fact that you’re experiencing, sadly, a rite-of-passage that so many others have navigated.
Yung Pueblo
We allow ourselves to love because it’s worth the risk. Even though there is the chance of loss or hurt, we take the leap again and again because love is one of the best parts of being alive. We don’t do it because it’s easy, we do it because connection makes everything brighter.
— Yung Pueblo
Steve Maraboli
Cry. Forgive. Learn. Move on. Let your tears water the seeds of your future happiness.
— Steve Maraboli
Kentaro Miura
You’re going to be alright. You just stumbled over a stone in the road. It means nothing. Your goal lies far beyond this, doesn’t it? I’m sure you’ll overcome this. You’ll walk again…soon.
— Kentaro Miura
Viktor Frankl
When the situation is good, enjoy it. When the situation is bad, transform it. When the situation cannot be transformed, transform yourself.
— Viktor Frankl
Faraaz Kazi
Some people are going to leave, but that’s not the end of your story. That’s the end of their part in your story.
— Faraaz Kazi
Cheryl Strayed
You cannot convince people to love you. This is an absolute rule. No one will ever give you love because you want him or her to give it. Real love moves freely in both directions. Don’t waste your time on anything else.
— Cheryl Strayed
James Baldwin
You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, who had ever been alive.
— James Baldwin
Andrea Gibson
When your heart is broken, you plant seeds in the cracks and you pray for rain.
— Andrea Gibson
Brianna Wiest
This relationship affected you more than you are letting yourself believe. The ending hurt you more than you acknowledged, and you need to process that. Your continued interest in this person means there’s something about the relationship that is still unresolved, and it is probably some kind of closure or acceptance that you need to find for yourself.
— Brianna Wiest
S.C. Lourie
Be confused, it’s where you begin to learn new things. Be broken, it’s where you begin to heal. Be frustrated, it’s where you start to make more authentic decisions. Be sad, because if we are brave enough we can hear our heart’s wisdom through it. Be whatever you are right now. No more hiding. You are worthy. Always.
— S.C. Lourie
Golda Meir
Those who do not know how to weep with their whole heart do not know how to laugh either.
— Golda Meir
Steve Maraboli
The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself.
— Steve Maraboli
Dr. Seuss
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.
— Dr. Seuss
Coco J. Ginger
When we are in love, we are convinced nobody else will do. But as time goes, others do do, and often do do, much much better.
— Coco J. Ginger
Elizabeth Gilbert
Someday you’re gonna look back on this moment of your life as such a sweet time of grieving. You’ll see that you were in mourning and your heart was broken, but your life was changing.
— Elizabeth Gilbert
Sophia Bush
You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously.
— Sophia Bush
Patti Roberts
Every time your heart is broken, a doorway cracks open to a world full of new beginnings, new opportunities.
— Patti Roberts
Ljeoma Umebinyeo
Healing comes in waves, and maybe today the wave hits the rocks. And that’s OK, that’s OK, darling. You are still healing. You are still healing.
— Ljeoma Umebinyeo
Glennon Doyle
Heartbreak delivers your purpose. If you are brave enough to accept that delivery and seek out the people doing that particular world-changing work, you find your people.
— Glennon Doyle
Stephanie Klein
What we wait around a lifetime for with one person, we can find in a moment with someone else.
— Stephanie Klein
Nicholas Sparks
The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it.
— Nicholas Sparks
Karen Salmansohn
Often, what feels like the end of the world is really a challenging pathway to a far better place.
— Karen Salmansohn
Why Quotes About Heartbreak Help
There’s something about quotes or love songs or books that bring us comfort and peace when we’re hurting? Let’s explore.
They Help Us Process: Quotes have a profound way of allowing us to feel and work through our grief. Have you ever listened to a sad song, maybe even on repeat, just so you could feel those emotions alongside the singer? It’s that same idea. According to research, these sorts of songs elicit a range of emotions, including positive ones like wonder, nostalgia, and peacefulness.
They Offer New Perspectives: When we’re in the thick of our feelings it can be difficult to see outside of our own bubble. Reading others’ thoughts on the topic opens our minds to new perspectives that may otherwise be difficult to view from where we’re sitting.
They Validate Us: Knowing that others have gone through similar experiences can help us find peace in knowing we’re not alone. These quotes about heartbreak articulate the emotions we’re experiencing and help us feel more understood.
They Motivate and Empower: Building awareness of this collective experience can motivate and empower us, too. Many heartbreak quotes highlight how this experience can actually lead to personal growth and self-discovery, and empower us to believe in our own resilience and capabilities.
As much as this hurts, and as impossible as getting to the other side of this breakup may seem, you’re going to be OK. Allow yourself to feel your grief and confusion, pour energy into yourself and your healing, and know that this door closing means many others will be revealed. The world has just opened up for you.
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6 Ways to Become a Nicer Person
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Key Takeaways
- Being nice can reduce stress and improve your mood.
- Acts of kindness release feel-good chemicals in the brain, like oxytocin.
- Setting strong boundaries helps you be nice while protecting your mental health.
Being nice to others is an important way to spread kindness and positivity. In addition to benefitting others, research suggests that this type of prosocial behavior can also boost your own mental well-being.
How to Become a Nicer Person
Becoming a nicer person isn’t as hard as you might think. There are things that you can do to show compassion, empathy, and kindness in your everyday interactions with others.
Act With Kindness
Being a nice person means acting with kindness, and research suggests that kindness can positively impact your brain. Individual acts of kindness trigger the release of oxytocin and endorphins and appear to foster the creation of new neural connections.
Being kind is a self-reinforcing habit. We crave the feel-good sensation of being kind, so one act of kindness can easily lead to another.
Avoid Being Overly Critical
It can be hard to be a nice person when you’re consumed by negative thoughts. When you find yourself criticizing someone, try to adopt a more positive mindset. How can you reframe the situation and be more optimistic?
For instance, if a co-worker makes a mistake, pause before you criticize their work. Maybe you view their mistake as an opportunity to help them rather than becoming annoyed at them for not being perfect.
Be Honest
Stay true to yourself and your values. You can still express yourself nicely while being honest.
Being nice doesn’t mean that you never say “no” to people or that you do things that you don’t want to do.
Setting strong and fair boundaries means you’re taking care of your mental and emotional health. Being nice to others can come more naturally when you feel safe and respected.
Be Nice to Yourself
The way that we treat ourselves, including our self-talk, plays an important role in how we treat others. After all, how can we treat others nicely if we don’t treat ourselves nicely?
Notice how you talk to yourself and how you react when something goes wrong—do you blame or punish yourself? Do you call yourself names? By practicing patience and niceness toward ourselves, we make it easier to be nice to others.
Be Open-Minded
Life is full of change. When we’re confronted with ideas, situations, or people that are unfamiliar to us, negative emotions can arise that make it difficult to be nice.
Open-mindedness is an essential quality for learning and absorbing information without judgment. Keeping an open mind can help you navigate unfamiliar territory while staying calm and relaxed.
It’s much easier to be nice when you’re comfortable with yourself and your environment—even amidst the many changes life throws your way.
Press Play for Advice On Seeing the Best in Others
Hosted by therapist Amy Morin, LCSW, this episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast shares why seeing the best in people benefits you. Click below to listen now.
Subscribe Now: Apple Podcasts / Spotify / Google Podcasts
Be Polite
Politeness is only one aspect of being nice, but it is an important way to set a positive tone in social interactions. Remember that other people’s behavior does not need to bring yours down.
If others are being abrupt or rude, responding with politeness can be a way to change the direction of the interaction.
In everyday conversations, simple words like “please” and “thank you” can go a long way in showing someone you appreciate them.
Look for Ways to Be Helpful
Make an effort to find small ways to be helpful in your daily interactions with other people. From smiling at others in the grocery store to helping a co-worker with a project, being helpful can be a great way to practice being nice throughout your day.
Practice Forgiveness
Letting go of past resentments and forgiving others can help you move forward with a more positive attitude. It’s easier to be nice when you feel good about others.
Forgiving yourself is also important, so work on letting go of negative experiences from the past that hold you back from cultivating a more positive mindset.
Practice Gratitude
Spend a few minutes each day thinking about something for which you are grateful. You might find it helpful to keep a gratitude journal.
Research suggests that gratitude can have many health benefits, including reducing stress and increasing happiness. Focusing on positive thoughts can help you develop a more positive attitude and can make it easier to cope with life’s daily hassles and difficulties.
Respect Others
Empathy and respect are also important components of niceness. During your day, try to see things from the perspective of the other people in your life and think about things that you can do to respect their needs.
Even if you disagree with what someone else is doing, try to treat them with niceness and respect.
Respect people’s time as well. If you are meeting a friend, for instance, try to show up on time and stay present during your conversations. Avoid staring at your phone too much. Practice active listening.
Defining Nice
What does it mean to be nice? How do you know if you are a nice person? Some characteristics that are often included in definitions of niceness include:
- Altruism
- Empathy
- Fairness
- Generosity
- Helpfulness
- Honesty
- Kindness
- Politeness
- Responsibility
- Thoughtfulness
The exact definition of “nice” can vary from one person to the next. The field of personality psychology suggests that there are a few different personality traits associated with this quality.
Psychologists often describe personality in terms of five broad dimensions. One of these dimensions is known as agreeableness. It encompasses several traits that relate to how you treat others. For example, many of the characteristics associated with niceness, including kindness and empathy, are aspects of agreeableness.
Research also suggests that agreeableness can then be broken down into two main components: compassion and politeness. Both of these traits play a role in what we often think of as “being nice.”
Compassion is a trait that involves understanding and sympathizing with the emotional states of others and feeling moved to help. Politeness involves behaviors that are respectful of others and often motivated by a desire for fairness.
Signs You’re a Nice Person
- People seem to enjoy your company.
- You feel compassion and empathy for others.
- You give people genuine compliments.
- You listen to what other people have to say.
- You take responsibility for your mistakes.
- You’re honest but respectful.
- You’re kind to others.
- You’re kind to yourself.
- You’re supportive of other people.
The Benefits of Being Nice
Prosocial behavior is the term psychologists use to refer to actions concerned with the well-being, safety, and feelings of others. In other words, many “nice” behaviors such as sharing, cooperating, and comforting are all prosocial actions that promote the welfare of other people.
Such behaviors obviously benefit those we help and foster greater social connectedness. However, research also suggests that being nice to other people can also benefit your own mental health.
Increased Attractiveness as a Potential Partner
Being a nice person can make you more attractive as a partner. In a 2019 study published in the Journal of Personality, participants rated kindness as the single most important characteristic in a life partner. This means people felt it was more important than financial prospects, physical attractiveness, and a sense of humor.
Better Mood
Being nice feels good. Research suggests that engaging in kind and helpful acts can help improve your mood. In one study, researchers found that engaging in kindness activities each day for seven days increased feelings of happiness and well-being.
The study also found that the more kind acts people performed, the happier they reported feeling. It also didn’t matter if these acts of kindness were directed toward friends, strangers, or even the self—all had an equally positive impact.
Decreased Stress
Niceness may also play a role in stress relief. Studies suggest that being nice may also help people cope more effectively with the effects of stress. For example, in one study, researchers found that people who performed acts of kindness reported feeling less stress and negativity.
Increased Kindness
Research has also shown that kindness can be contagious. One study found that cooperative behavior tends to have a cascade effect, spreading up to three degrees of separation from the source.
This means that being nice to others is likely to cause them to be nice to others as well, triggering a wave of kind and cooperative behaviors within social networks.
Things to Consider
While there are clearly several important benefits, being nice can also have some downsides. This is particularly true if the need to be nice impedes genuine communication and authenticity.
Some potential negative outcomes of suppressing your real feelings in an effort to be “nice” include:
- Emotional outbursts: If you are constantly repressing your true thoughts and emotions just for the sake of presenting a “nice” persona, chances are that those feelings are going to rise to the surface at some point. Pressure may continue to build until some stress sets off a reaction, which might manifest as a sudden outburst of irritability or outright anger.
- Feelings of resentment: Hiding your real feelings or denying what you really want because those emotions or desires are not seen as “nice” can ultimately lead to feelings of resentment or bitterness. This can create a backfire effect and negatively affect your relationships with others.
- Superficial relationships: If you aren’t stating the things you really want in a relationship for the sake of avoiding conflict and being nice, it may mean that you aren’t revealing your authentic self to others. This often results in relationships that lack both depth and emotional intimacy. There may be few arguments and conflicts, but there is also a lack of connection and closeness.
While superficial niceness can be a negative force, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t strive to be a nice person. The key is to focus on niceness driven by consideration and mindfulness and not by an artificial veneer of politeness that masks your real feelings.
It’s OK if you’re struggling to be a nicer person. Like any skill, being a nicer person may take time and effort. If you’re struggling, you may wish to speak to a therapist or trained mental health professional to work through any obstacles.
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