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A cognitive bias is a systematic error in thinking that occurs when people process and interpret information in their surroundings, influencing their decisions and judgments.

The human brain is powerful but subject to limitations. Cognitive biases are often a result of your brain’s attempt to simplify information processing. Biases often work as rules of thumb that help you make sense of the world and reach decisions with relative speed.

• Some of these biases are related to memory. The way you remember an event may be biased for a number of reasons and that, in turn, can lead to biased thinking and decision-making.
• Other cognitive biases might be related to problems with attention. Since attention is a limited resource, people have to be selective about what they pay attention to in the world around them.

Because of this, subtle biases can creep in and influence the way you see and think about the world.

The concept of cognitive bias was first introduced by researchers Amos Tversky and Daniel Kahneman in 1972. Since then, researchers have described a number of different types of biases that affect decision-making in a wide range of areas including social behavior, cognition, behavioral economics, education, management, healthcare, business, and finance.

How Do You Know If You Have a Cognitive Bias?

Everyone exhibits cognitive bias. It might be easier to spot in others, but it is important to know that it is something that also affects your thinking. Some signs that you might be influenced by some type of cognitive bias include:

• Only paying attention to news stories that confirm your opinions
• Blaming outside factors when things don’t go your way
• Attributing other people’s success to luck, but taking personal credit for your own accomplishments
• Assuming that everyone else shares your opinions or beliefs
• Learning a little about a topic and then assuming you know all there is to know about it

When you are making judgments and decisions about the world around you, you like to think that you are objective, logical, and capable of taking in and evaluating all the information that is available to you. Unfortunately, these biases sometimes trip us up, leading to poor decisions and bad judgments.

“One of the biggest challenges regarding cognitive biases is that it’s often hard to recognize our own biases or those of others around us,” says licensed psychologist David Susman, PhD. “Also, while we may be able to eventually identify some of our own most common cognitive biases, it’s a much more difficult task to help others spot and change their biases.”

One of the biggest challenges regarding cognitive biases is that it’s often hard to recognize our own biases or those of others around us.

Types of Cognitive Bias

Learn more about a few of the most common types of cognitive biases that can distort your thinking.

• Actor-observer bias: This is the tendency to attribute your own actions to external causes while attributing other people’s behaviors to internal causes. For example, you attribute your high cholesterol level to genetics while you consider others to have a high level due to poor diet and lack of exercise.
• Anchoring bias: This is the tendency to rely too heavily on the very first piece of information you learn. For example, if you learn the average price for a car is a certain value, you will think any amount below that is a good deal, perhaps not searching for better deals. You can use this bias to set the expectations of others by putting the first information on the table for consideration.
• Attentional bias: This is the tendency to pay attention to some things while simultaneously ignoring others. For example, when making a decision on which car to buy, you may pay attention to the look and feel of the exterior and interior, but ignore the safety record and gas mileage.
• Availability heuristic: This is placing greater value on information that comes to your mind quickly. You give greater credence to this information and tend to overestimate the probability and likelihood of similar things happening in the future.
• Confirmation bias: This is favoring information that conforms to your existing beliefs and discounting evidence that does not conform.
• False consensus effect: This is the tendency to overestimate how much other people agree with you.
• Functional fixedness: This is the tendency to see objects as only working in a particular way. For example, if you don’t have a hammer, you never consider that a big wrench can also be used to drive a nail into the wall. You may think you don’t need thumbtacks because you have no corkboard on which to tack things, but not consider their other uses. This could extend to people’s functions, such as not realizing a personal assistant has skills to be in a leadership role.
• Halo effect: Your overall impression of a person influences how you feel and think about their character. This especially applies to physical attractiveness influencing how you rate their other qualities.
• Misinformation effect: This is the tendency for post-event information to interfere with the memory of the original event. It is easy to have your memory influenced by what you hear about the event from others. Knowledge of this effect has led to a mistrust of eyewitness information.
• Optimism bias: This bias leads you to believe that you are less likely to suffer from misfortune and more likely to attain success than your peers.
• Self-serving bias: This is the tendency to blame external forces when bad things happen and give yourself credit when good things happen. For example, when you win a poker hand it is due to your skill at reading the other players and knowing the odds, while when you lose it is due to getting dealt a poor hand.
• The Dunning-Kruger effect: This is when people believe that they are smarter and more capable than they really are. For example, when they can’t recognize their own incompetence.

At times, multiple biases may play a role in influencing your decisions and thinking. For example, you might misremember an event (the misinformation effect) and assume that everyone else shares that same memory of what happened (the false consensus effect).

What Causes Cognitive Bias?

If you had to think about every possible option when making a decision, it would take a lot of time to make even the simplest choice. Because of the sheer complexity of the world around you and the amount of information in the environment, it is necessary sometimes to rely on some mental shortcuts that allow you to act quickly.

Cognitive biases can be caused by a number of different things, but it is these mental shortcuts, known as heuristics, that often play a major contributing role. While they can often be surprisingly accurate, they can also lead to errors in thinking.

Other factors that can also contribute to these biases:

• Emotions
• Individual motivations
• Limits on the mind’s ability to process information
• Social pressures

Why Is Cognitive Bias Bad?

Cognitive biases can lead to distorted thinking. Conspiracy theory beliefs, for example, are often influenced by a variety of biases. But cognitive biases are not necessarily all bad. Psychologists believe that many of these biases serve an adaptive purpose: They allow us to reach decisions quickly. This can be vital if we are facing a dangerous or threatening situation.

Here’s an example of a helpful cognitive bias: Say you are walking down a dark alley and spot a dark shadow that seems to be following you. A cognitive bias might lead you to assume that it is a mugger and that you need to exit the alley as quickly as possible. The dark shadow may have simply been caused by a flag waving in the breeze, but relying on mental shortcuts can often get you away from danger in situations where decisions need to be made quickly.

How Do You Break Cognitive Bias?

Research suggests that cognitive training can help minimize cognitive biases in thinking. Some things that you can do to help overcome biases that might influence your thinking and decision-making include:

• Being aware of bias: Consider how biases might influence your thinking. In one study, researchers provided feedback and information that help participants understand these biases and how they influence decisions. The results of the study indicated that this type of training could effectively reduce the effects of cognitive bias by 29%.
• Considering the factors that influence your decisions: Are there factors such as overconfidence or self-interest at play? Thinking about the influences on your decisions may help you make better choices.
• Challenging your biases: If you notice that there are factors influencing your choices, focus on actively challenging your biases. What are some factors you have missed? Are you giving too much weight to certain factors? Are you ignoring relevant information because it doesn’t support your view? Thinking about these things and challenging your biases can make you a more critical thinker.
• Challenging others’ biases: Respectfully pointing out biases in others can also help others think more critically, especially if they’re unconsciously acting or speaking on their biases. “Even if we can’t change others’ biases, remember they may be at play when we find ourselves in a disagreement with someone who seems very entrenched in their own viewpoint,” Susman explains. “Rather than confronting them directly about how inaccurate or irrational we think they are, it’s often more productive to present facts and information in a nondirective way and ask them to consider an alternative point of view or some point of compromise.”

It can be tricky if you find yourself thinking, “I don’t like my girlfriend’s friends,” or “I hate my husband’s friends.” After all, our partners need to have a healthy social life. Unfortunately, no one said liking your partner’s friends would be easy.

Sometimes, it can seem downright impossible. But if you find yourself in a situation where you don’t see eye-to-eye with your partner’s friends, you’ll likely want to know what to do about it.

Try to Figure Out Why You Dislike Your Partners’ Friends

The first step is to try and see things from their perspective. It’s possible that you’re simply misunderstanding their friends or that you’re seeing them in a negative light because you’re feeling insecure about your relationship. If you can see things from a more objective perspective, it may help ease up on your dislike of them.

In that case, you’ll need to have a talk with your partner about it. Be honest about your feelings and explain why you don’t like their friends. If they’re worth keeping as friends, your partner should be willing to try to help you get along with them.

But it’s time to reevaluate things if your partner doesn’t seem to care about your feelings or they’re constantly choosing their friends over you. It may be time to end the relationship if your partner is unwilling to let you in and make a compromise.

Talk to Your Partner About Your Concerns

This is an important step because your partner needs to be aware of the issues you’re having. They may not even realize that their friends are a problem for you. Once they know, they can be more mindful of the situation and try to help you feel more comfortable.

Research has found that talking about your feelings with your partner and having difficult conversations can have benefits. In addition to improving communication and resolving problems, it can help people cope more effectively and help make relationships more successful.

Set Boundaries

If being around their friends is too much for you, it’s important to set some boundaries. Research suggests that boundaries are essential for maintaining healthy relationships.

Talk to your partner about how often you want to see their friends and stick to that plan. This way, you won’t feel overwhelmed or like you’re constantly having to be around people you don’t like.

Get to Know Them Better

This one can be tricky, but it’s worth a shot. Try to engage in conversation with them and get to know their interests. You may not end up being best friends, but at least you’ll have a better understanding of who they are.

If you can find common ground with their friends, it will make the situation much easier. Maybe you have the same taste in music or movies. Or maybe you share a hobby. Whatever it is, try to connect with their friends on some level so that it’s not just an uncomfortable association.

Agree to Disagree

Your partner’s friends are likely important to them, and they’re not going to just drop them because you don’t like them.

It’s not worth ruining your relationship over something that isn’t going to change. What’s important is that you have a strong, healthy relationship with your partner.

Try to Not Let It Impact Your Relationship

It’s important to remember that your partner is separate from their friends. Just because you don’t like their friends doesn’t mean you have to dislike your partner.

Experts suggest that having good communication with your partner is one of the key predictors of how successful and satisfying your relationship will be. Keep the lines of communication open with your partner, and try not to let the situation come between the two of you.

Seek Out Your Own Friends

If all of this is too much for you and you’re struggling to deal with the situation, it’s important to find your own support system. Research shows that having quality friendships can increase life satisfaction.

Don’t Gossip

If you’re having a problem with one of your partner’s friends, talk to your partner and/or the friend about it directly. Don’t gossip or talk behind their back—this will only make the situation worse.

In fact, if you are looking for cooperation from your spouse or their friends, research has shown that gossip can actually make people less likely to cooperate. Instead, by communicating openly and honestly, you can try to resolve the issue and move on.

Keep an Open Mind

Your partner’s friends may not be your cup of tea right now, but that doesn’t mean they won’t change over time.

People grow and change all the time, so it’s possible that you could start to like their friends in the future. Keep an open mind and be willing to give them a chance.

Focus on the Positive

It’s important to focus on the positive, even if you don’t like your partner’s friends. Try to find one thing that you do like or appreciate about them. Maybe they’re really funny or they have a kind heart. Focusing on the good will make the situation more bearable and help you get through it.

Give Yourself Some Grace

Just because you don’t like your partner’s friends doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. It’s normal to feel this way sometimes—after all, we’re not always compatible with everyone we meet.

One study identified five factors underlying friendships and showed that reciprocal candor was important, or the ability to talk easily with someone.

Don’t Hang Out With Their Friends

If you simply can’t get along with them, it’s probably best to avoid social gatherings where they’ll be in attendance.

You don’t need to put yourself in a situation where you’re uncomfortable or unhappy. If your partner wants to spend time with their friends, let them go without you. You can use the time to do something you enjoy or hang out with your friends or loved ones.

Talk to a Therapist

If you’ve tried everything and you’re still struggling to deal with the situation, it may be time to seek professional help. A therapist can help you work through any issues you’re having and give you tools to deal with difficult situations. If your relationship is suffering because of the situation, they can also help you work on communication and conflict-resolution skills.

Déjà vu is a sense of having already seen something you’re currently seeing or experiencing—coupled with knowing you haven’t actually seen it, which is why it catches many people so off guard. It is thought to be the equivalent of a small brain “glitch,” with two streams of thought colliding. The phrase literally translated from French to mean “already seen.”

St. Augustine, an ancient philosopher, first referred to the concept of déjà vu in 400 AD as “false memoriae,” but French philosopher Emile Boirac was the first to use the term déjà vu in 1890. The first use of the phrase in the scientific world was from F.L. Arnaud, a neurologist who proposed to use it at a meeting of the Societe Medico-Psychologique.

Early research showed promise for déjà vu to be a sign that helped doctors diagnose epilepsy, but more recent research has shown it may be a matter of perception or memory.

How Does Déjà Vu Happen?

It is believed that déjà vu may be the result of two different streams of awareness colliding: the experience of recognizing a current situation, alongside the feeling that this is an inaccurate recollection. A key feature is that the person realizes that they have not actually seen this before.

Sometimes, what happens is really a matter of split perception and someone is processing a sight twice because they may have been distracted or their vision was obstructed for some reason. 

The second perception, immediately after the first one, becomes the one that is consciously experienced—but it feels unfamiliar because we are not cognizant of the first experience, which we only partially processed. 

Types of Déjà Vu

Though the actual feeling of déjà vu is the same across people with healthy brains and those with neurological conditions, different things are happening in the brain during each of these types.

Those who do experience it more regularly show less grey matter than those who don’t. Grey matter is the outermost layer of the brain, and it is responsible for controlling movement, memory, and emotions. Typically, the more grey matter a brain has, the more effective it is.

In those with neurological conditions, three parts of the brain are impacted: the hippocampus, parahippocampal gyrus, and temporal neocortex—areas that are associated with forming and retaining memories.

For those with epilepsy and déjà vu, alterations in memory circuitry have been observed, meanwhile, alterations in emotional circuitry are seen in “healthy” individuals experiencing déjà vu. Déjà vu is thought to perhaps be abnormal signaling within the medial temporal lobe, which governs memory processing, particularly visual memories.

The conditions that might experience more déjà vu than those with a healthy brain include:

• Schizophrenia
• Epilepsy
• Anxiety
• Vascular dementia

The term déjà vu is the one most frequently used to capture these types of experiences, but there are actually many more of these phenomena.

Some other types you might experience:

• Déjà entendu: already heard
• Déjà éprouvé: already experienced 
• Déjà fait: already done
• Déjà pensé: already thought
• Déjà raconté: already recounted
• Déjà senti: already felt emotionally or already smelled
• Déjà su: already known (the knowledge of)
• Déjà trouvé: already found
• Déjà vécu: already lived through
• Déjà voulu: already wanted
• Déjà reve: already dreamed

What Causes the Déjà Vu Feeling?

Though most times, déjà vu is not a sign of anything serious—such as a mental illness—there are some possible factors that you might want to pay attention to if episodes of déjà vu are making you uncomfortable.

Stress and Fatigue

People who are tired and/or stressed often report episodes of déjà vu. This is thought to be because fatigue and stress typically affect both long- and short-term memory. 

Excess Dopamine

A hypothesis is that excess amounts of dopamine may be implicated in experiences of déjà vu. In studies of temporal lobe epilepsy, the research shows that elevated levels of dopamine were detected in rodent models of temporal lobe epilepsy.

One strange case of déjà vu was the use of the flu medications amantadine and Proin (phenylpropanolmine). A man who took this combination of medications to treat an infection of the flu began experiencing several episodes of déjà vu per hour—which stopped upon him discontinuing these medications.

Both of these medications, among their flu-symptom reducing properties, work on the dopamine system, and it is thought that these déjà vu episodes were caused by an excess of dopamine in the system. Epilepsy research shows that parts of the brain including the hippocampus are related to dysmensic symptoms (impaired memory) symptoms,

Who Gets Déjà Vu?

While anyone can experience déjà vu, those who experience it multiple times share some characteristics, according to research:

• High income
• Well educated
• Frequent travelers
• Those who remember their dreams
• Those who are politically liberal 
• Ages 15-25

Should I See a Doctor for Déjà Vu?

Epilepsy is the most common of neurological conditions to be associated with déjà vu, as it affects the temporal lobe of your brain, where vision is interpreted. There are several types of seizures, but it is simple partial seizures, also known as focal onset aware seizures, that are most often associated with deja vu experiences.

For most healthy individuals, déjà vu has no serious impact, other than a bit of a feeling of confusion momentarily. However, if you are experiencing frequent déjà vu (a few times a week or more), you may want to visit a neurologist to be evaluated for epilepsy or any other neurological conditions.

Trust in an intimate relationship is rooted in feeling safe with another person. Infidelity, lies, or broken promises can severely damage the trust between partners, even leading to trust issues. However, when trust is broken, this does not necessarily mean that the relationship can’t be salvaged. 

Although rebuilding trust can be challenging when there is a significant breach, it is, in fact, possible if both partners are committed to the process. Learn how to regain trust in your relationship and feel safe once again.

Picking Up the Pieces

It takes much time and effort to re-establish the sense of safety you need for a relationship to thrive and continue to grow. Recovery from the trauma caused by a break in the trust is where many couples who want to get back on track can get stuck.

Research has shown that couples must address the following five sticking points to effectively move past a breach of trust:

• Knowing the details
• Releasing the anger
• Showing commitment
• Rebuilding trust
• Rebuilding the relationship

Know the Details

Even in seemingly clear-cut cases of betrayal, there are always two sides. The offending partner should be upfront and honest with information, in addition to giving clear answers to any and all questions from their partner.

This will give the betrayed party a broader understanding of the situation. What happened, when, and where? What feelings or problems may have contributed to this situation? What were the mitigating circumstances?

Release the Anger 

Even minor breaches of trust can lead to mental, emotional, and physical health problems. Partners may have trouble sleeping or diminished appetite. They may become irritable over small things or be quick to trigger.

While it may be tempting to stuff all of the anger and emotions down, it is imperative that betrayed partners tune in and reflect on all the feelings they have. Consider the impact of your partner’s betrayal on you and others.

Reflect on how life has been disrupted, including thinking about all the questions and doubts that are now emerging. Make your partner aware of all these feelings.

Show Commitment

Both parties, especially the betrayed, may be questioning their commitment to the relationship. They may be wondering if the relationship is still right for them or even salvageable.

Acts of empathy can be healing to both parties. These include sharing pain, frustration, and anger; showing remorse and regret; and allowing space for the acknowledgment and validation of hurt feelings.

Building off of this, defining what both sides require from the relationship can help give partners the understanding that proceeding with the relationship comes with clear expectations that each person, in moving ahead, has agreed to fulfill.

In communicating this, avoid using words that can trigger conflict (e.g., always, must, never, should) in describing what you see, expect, or want from your partner. Instead, choose words that facilitate open conversation and use non-blaming “I” statements. For example, favor “I need to feel like a priority in your life” over “You never put me first.”

Rebuilding Trust

Together, you must set specific goals and realistic timelines for getting your relationship back on track. Recognize that rebuilding trust takes time and requires the following:

• Decide to forgive or to be forgiven. Make a conscious decision to love by trying to let go of the past. While achieving this goal fully may take some time, committing to it is what’s key.
• Be open to self-growth and improvement. You can’t repair broken trust with just promises and statements of forgiveness. The underlying causes for the betrayal need to be identified, examined, and worked on by both partners for the issues to stay dormant.
• Be aware of your innermost feelings and share your thoughts. Leaving one side to obsess about the situation or action that broke the trust is not going to solve anything. Instead, it is important to openly discuss the details and express all feelings of anger and hurt.
• Want it to work. There is no place in the process for lip service or more lies. Be honest about and true to your wishes.

Once the above points have been taken to heart by both sides, talk openly about your goals. Also, continue to check in regularly to make sure you are on track.

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For the Offender

As the person who compromised the relationship, it may be hard or even painful to be reminded of your wrongdoings. Remember, though, that the above steps are essential to the process of relationship repair and recovery. As you work on them:

• Show that the errant behavior is gone by changing your behavior if you are the one in your relationship who lied, cheated, or broke the trust. That means no more secrets, lies, infidelity, or anything else of the sort. Be completely transparent, open, and forthcoming from now on.
• Be honest and work to understand and state why the bad behavior occurred. Statements such as “I don’t know” don’t instill confidence or help you get to the root of the issue.
• Take responsibility for your own actions and decisions. Apologize for the hurt you caused and avoid defensiveness, which will only perpetuate the conflict or crisis. Justifying your behavior based on what your partner is doing or has done in the past is also not productive.

For the Betrayed

While moving forward hinges a lot on what your partner is able to show you, remember that the work you do also has a lot to do with your potential success in regaining trust in a relationship. As you proceed, day by day:

• Work on understanding why and what went awry in the relationship before the betrayal actually took place. While this won’t help you forget what happened, it may help you get some answers you need to move on.
• Provide positive responses and reinforcement to help give your partner consistent feedback on things that please you or make you happy once you have committed to giving your partner a second chance.
• Know that it’s also okay if you do not want to continue the relationship after considering the above steps or beginning them. Just be honest with yourself and your partner and don’t go through the motions just because you feel that is what is expected of you as a devoted partner.

For the Couple

While there’s independent work to do, remember to listen completely to one another. Remind one another that you each deserve open and honest answers to your questions about the betrayal.

Rebuilding the Relationship

Once couples have committed to rebuilding trust, they must work on treating the relationship like it is a completely new one. Both sides must ask for what they really need and not expect their partner to simply know what it is they want.

Do not withhold trust in this new relationship, even though it is with the same person. Withholding trust out of fear or anger will prevent you from emotionally reconnecting with your partner. This keeps your relationship from moving forward in a healthy way.

Instead, work toward rebuilding the relationship by doing the work required to build trust and rebuild a mutually supportive connection. Come to an agreement about what a healthy relationship looks like to you both.

Remember that all relationships require work. Even the closest couples have to work hard at renewing the spark while working to grow in the same direction together, year after year.

Getting Professional Help

You can work on building a healthier, happier, and more honest relationship if you address the five issues listed above, and hold onto the bigger picture: that getting through this is only possible if you stay strong and commit to working on it together. A ​therapist can help you process the what, why, and how of what happened to help you both move forward.

There are several forms of treatment for couples that are designed to re-establish trust, communication, and connection that can be especially helpful. Through continued work and therapy, you may even end up with a more solid relationship after going through such a crisis.