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Are you all white, err—alright? If you are familiar with color psychology, you likely aren’t surprised to know that the color white has a number of meanings and associations. These may, however, vary depending on the individual and the culture in which they live. Some of the main associations often connected to the color white include purity, innocence, cleanliness, blankness, coldness, emptiness, simplicity, and minimalism.

Let’s dig deeper into the meaning of the color white in psychology and spirituality as well as some of the positive and negative associations of this color.

Psychological Characteristics of the Color White

According to color psychology, these are the characteristics of white:

• White represents purity or innocence. While a bride wearing white was often thought to convey the bride’s virginity, blue was once a traditional color worn by brides to symbolize purity.
• White is bright and can create a sense of space or add highlights. Designers often use the color white to make rooms seem larger and more spacious.
• White is also described as cold, bland, and sterile. Rooms painted completely white can seem spacious but empty and unfriendly. Hospitals and hospital workers use white sheets, towels, and walls to create a sense of sterility.
• The color white can also convey a sense of austerity and minimalism. Some may find this calming or refreshing, while others may find it stark or bland.

Spiritual Meaning of the Color White

Many faiths and sacred texts use the color white in reference to:

• Holiness (perfect, flawless)
• Wisdom (associated with white hair)
• Purity (to be purified and made white)
• Religious commitment (wearing white for a dedication ceremony or baptism)
• Peace, anointing, new beginnings (the white dove)
• Prophecy (the white horse)
• Judgment (great white throne judgment)
• Healing (white can be viewed as the color of healing)
• Power (contains all other colors on the light spectrum, out of which comes the rainbow)
• Spiritual beings (angels are often pictured as wearing bright white robes)
• Eternity (going toward the white light when you die)

Positive and Negative Meanings of the Color White

Because color meanings vary from one person to the next, the color white can have both positive and negative meanings.

Some of the positive meanings that white can convey include delicate, pure, calm, bright, fresh, clean, and simple. It may invoke thoughts of white delicate flowers, bright sunny days, fresh air, and a clear mind. The color white is often portrayed as a blank slate, symbolizing a new beginning or a fresh start. And let’s not forget the blushing bride wearing her white gown, and the crowd releases white doves to celebrate the newly married couple.

On the negative side, white can seem stark, cold, and isolated. Others perceive it to be unfriendly, empty, barren, and even mournful. Consider how a large, white, empty room might seem boring, bland, and uninviting.

Meanings of the Color White

The meaning of the color white often depends upon the context. The color is often used in interior design, marketing, and fashion, where it can be utilized in different ways to evoke certain moods or have specific effects.

Feng Shui

White is considered a powerful color in feng shui, a system of arranging your environment to create harmony. Colors are linked to certain feng shui elements and in the case of white, the element it expresses is metal.

Wood and glass accents go extraordinarily well with white, as do bits of black to balance it out. White is also great for kitchens, living rooms, bathrooms, and bedrooms and white flowers in white pots are an economical way to incorporate white into your environment.

Marketing

In marketing and branding, white is used to convey a feeling of safety, purity, freshness, and cleanliness, as well as to create contrast. Some famous brands that use a great deal of white in their logos and marketing are Michelin, Gap, Hewlett-Packard (HP), Lego, Volkswagen, Starbucks, Fisher-Price, Levi’s, and Ford.

Design

In design fields, white is often used to highlight or act as a neutral background to let other colors, objects, or textures take the spotlight. It is also a popular color in minimalistic designs, particularly when used with various other shades of white or other light neutrals such as gray, beige, or taupe.

Fashion

In fashion, the color white is often used to evoke a sense of purity, innocence, freshness, or cleanliness. Because white reflects light, it is often worn in the summer months to help stay cool. However, it also has a reputation for getting dirty or stained quickly, which means it isn’t ideal in situations where a person will be spending time being active or engaging in physical labor.

Color Associations Are Not Universal

One thing to remember is that such color associations are not necessarily universal. Colors can have different meanings, symbolism, and associations in other cultures.

In many Eastern cultures, however, white is symbolically linked to death and sadness. It’s often a color used in funerals and other mourning rituals, which is in contrast to Western cultures that prefer black.

What White Says About Your Personality

One study on adults’ color preferences showed that out of 18 total colors, including no preference, white only ranked 15th as the overall favorite color. It fared a little better when the same adults were asked to rank their favorite color in clothing, coming in at 10th.

White was also ranked number one for evoking moods of quietness and concentration.

If white is your favorite color, it might mean that you have a preference for colors that evoke a sense of calmness or simplicity. Or, it may simply mean that you have formed positive associations with the color in the past.

Clutter and mental health are connected. While clutter is sometimes associated with increased creativity, it can also leave you feeling stressed and overwhelmed if it gets to be too much or interferes with your ability to function effectively in your daily life.

Do you dig through piles of clothes to find the shirt you want to wear for the day? When you leave the house, do you struggle to find your keys and wallet among all the items on your kitchen table? Maybe you can’t open the garage door because there are so many boxes of knick-knacks.

You might tell yourself, I’ll declutter eventually. But time keeps passing, and your home, office, or car is still filled to the brim with stuff. If any of this resonates with you, you’re not alone. But many people don’t realize the connection between clutter and mental health.

This article covers what clutter is, clutter’s impact on mental health, what hoarding is, as well as ways you can manage clutter and get organized.

What Is Clutter?

The word clutter refers to items that are strewn about in a disorganized fashion. In general, clutter is a collection of items that people accumulate in their homes and don’t necessarily use, but hold on to anyway.

Clutter can even be digital—maybe you never get around to clearing out your email inbox or organizing the documents on your laptop. Just looking at the amount of files you have on your computer might overwhelm you.

Impact of Clutter on Mental Health

Clutter impacts your physical space in an obvious way; but some people don’t realize that clutter can have negative mental health effects, too.

By becoming aware of how much clutter you have and whether you experience any stress as a result, you’ll be better able to discern if there’s an opportunity for you to modify your physical space and improve your mental health.

Increased Stress Levels

Ideally, home is a place where we can rest and relax. However, clutter can make it hard to do that. One study found that women who reported more clutter in their homes had higher levels of the stress hormone cortisol throughout the day compared to women who had less clutter.

Clutter can also contribute to household chaos, which is associated with worse parenting practices, negative emotions, and stress.

Difficulty Focusing

Clutter can actually be distracting. Our brains can only focus on a limited amount of stimuli at a time. So if you’re surrounded by clutter when you’re trying to work from home, for example, the clutter can actually make it harder for you to think clearly.

Procrastination

Research shows that people with cluttered homes tend to procrastinate on important tasks. You might have to dig through stacks of papers to pay the bills, or maybe you have so many piles of dirty clothes that it feels overwhelming to start the laundry.

Difficulty With Relationships

It’s not uncommon for spouses, partners, or even roommates to argue over whether one person’s things are taking up too much space. There might be added strain in a relationship if your clutter is an annoyance to the person you’re living with.

Research has also found that background clutter made it more difficult for participants to accurately identify the emotions expressed on the faces of movie characters. In relationships, this might lead to misunderstanding and poor communication.

Trouble Controlling Impulses

One study found that a cluttered environment combined with an “out-of-control mind-set” triggered participants to engage in unhealthy eating behaviors.

In other words, the research suggests that it can be more difficult to control your impulses when your mental health and your environment are stressful or “chaotic.”

Lower Quality of Life

Clutter can easily lead to a nearly constant feeling of frustration as you struggle to complete daily tasks. The time you spend looking for objects you need or attempting to organize your items could be time spent with loved ones, doing some self-care, or even just relaxing.

Decreased Well-Being

The clutter in your environment can even cause you to develop negative feelings about your home. In a 2016 study published in the Journal of Environmental Psychology, researchers suggest that this is because ‘home’ is more than just where we live.

Instead, they suggest that home is a constellation of situations, experiences, and meanings. The individual shapes these experiences, but they are also shaped by them.

For this reason, excessive clutter was found to harm subjective well-being.

Why Do People Have Clutter?

While some chalk it up to laziness, there’s actually underlying psychology of clutter and disorganization that keeps people from tidying up.

Potential reasons people hold onto clutter include:

• They feel overwhelmed: It’s often a huge job to get rid of things, which can be physically and mentally exhausting. In the short term, it feels easier to keep things the same.
• Objects remind them of important things: People keep clothes that don’t fit anymore because they hope to lose weight. They hang on to old brochures for cruises because they want to travel. However, keeping objects that remind you of your goals doesn’t make you closer to achieving what you want.
• Objects have sentimental value: People keep objects from childhood that they associate with fond memories. If a loved one passed away, throwing away their possessions is often hard.
• They’re afraid to let things go: People are often afraid of feeling guilty about throwing things away (especially, as mentioned, if the object has sentimental value). Also, being unable to get something back once they get rid of it can be scary. What if they need it later on?
• They find comfort in their possessions: It wouldn’t be so hard to get rid of things if material items didn’t benefit people somehow. People’s possessions, even if they don’t use them, often bring a sense of safety and security that can be painful to let go of.

Some neurodivergent people, such as those with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), may struggle more to stay organized. Over time, this can contribute to a more cluttered environment.

What Is Hoarding?

Having clutter in your home and having hoarding disorder are two different things; however, it’s important to recognize the signs of hoarding in yourself and your loved ones.

Someone who hoards usually shows some or all of the following signs of the disorder:

• They have cramped and cluttered living spaces. Entire rooms or sections of the house may be piled with belongings that they don’t use.
• Their homes may not be fully functional (i.e., they can’t access their bed because their belongings are in the way).
• They may not see the problem with their clutter.
• They accumulate items no matter where they are living (even if they’re staying in someone else’s home).
• They have difficulty throwing things away, and they often become upset at the idea of throwing things away.
• There’s a buildup of food or trash, creating unsanitary living conditions.

Experts aren’t sure of the exact cause of hoarding. It’s likely a combination of different factors including personality (many people with hoarding disorder are indecisive), family history, and stressful life events such as the death of a loved one or losing possessions in a fire.

One study, for example, found that between 28% to 32% of those with ADHD experienced clinically significant hoarding. This was more common in those who had inattentive-type ADHD.

How to Remove Clutter From Your Life

The following tips can help you address the clutter in your home. But it’s just as important to pay attention to your emotional experience as you address clutter. As you may know, it’s not always as easy as simply throwing things away.

Dedicate the Time

No doubt, decluttering your entire home is a daunting task. But what if you tried breaking up your time into manageable blocks? Maybe you dedicate one hour of every weekday evening to decluttering a single section of your home.

But it could be helpful to set a goal for how long you spend on each room of your house (i.e., two weeks on the living room and three weeks on the garage). You can even invite a trusted friend or loved one to help you.

Reduce Items

Try making four piles of things: the first that you keep, the second that you give away or donate, and the third that you throw away. If you’re having trouble deciding what to do with certain items, you can put those in the fourth pile and decide at a later time.

It’s often easiest to start with items that can be thrown away, like expired food, old cosmetics, or anything that’s broken and cannot be fixed. You may need to look up some recycle centers near you to make sure you’re properly disposing of items.

Research charities and other organizations that accept donations. It can help with the anxiety you may feel as you’re parting with your possessions to realize that you’re giving things away to people who will value them.

There’s also the option of selling items that are in good condition. You can try having a yard sale, selling items online, or bringing belongings to pawn shops or thrift stores. You might be able to earn some money by selling your items, which can be an extra motivator for tidying up.

Organize

Try to organize items based on what you use every day—you’ll want those to be easily accessible, for instance, in the top drawer of your nightstand or in the kitchen cabinet you use most often.

Once again, take small steps when you organize. As you go, you can consider buying an organizing bin or storage container where it’s needed; however, be careful not to buy too many. Go back to reducing the number of items you have whenever you feel you can get rid of more. (That’s a step you’ll return to again and again when keeping a clutter-free home).

Most importantly, notice how it feels as you declutter. Are you able to appreciate the beauty of your furniture when it’s not covered with clothes? Does it feel refreshing to sit down at your desk without moving stacks of paper out of the way first?

Maintain a Clutter-Free Space

It’s just as important to maintain your decluttered home as it is to declutter it in the first place. The key is consistency. Once again, you may find it helpful to dedicate regular time to tidying up. For instance, you might spend 10 minutes at the end of each day putting things back where they belong.

Before you make future purchases, you might want to double-check that you don’t already have that item or something similar. Also, consider whether you will actually use the item. You’re not alone if you’ve purchased the latest workout equipment or a new electronic device only to have it sit in the corner collecting dust.

By being more mindful about what you bring into your home (and what you let go of), you’re honoring your space and benefitting your mental health.

Learn More About Decluttering

There are tons of TV shows, books, podcasts, and articles on decluttering. Simply start your search online and see what resources come up.

For instance, you might learn more about the Japanese art of feng shui, which has guidelines on promoting good energy flow in a room based on how you arrange furniture and belongings.

There are also plenty of tips for getting rid of digital clutter. Unsubscribing from email lists, deleting documents you no longer need, and organizing your files into folders are all useful ways of making your digital space easier to navigate.

Be Kind to Yourself

It’s natural to have thoughts like, How did I accumulate so much stuff? But try not to be too hard on yourself. Blaming or shaming yourself will not change your situation, and you’re not alone if you’re overwhelmed by the number of possessions you have. Practice self-compassion and remember, you can achieve your decluttering goals with time and patience.

For instance, after you spend an hour cleaning, maybe you sit down and watch an episode of your favorite TV show or play some music and have a solo dance party. These types of rewards can help keep you going until you overcome all of your clutter.

Seek Professional Help

If you’re finding it difficult to clear your home of clutter, know that there are mental health professionals who can help.

One type of therapy that may help is cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). CBT brings your underlying thoughts and feelings to the surface, so you and a therapist can address anything preventing you from making positive life changes. (CBT is a common treatment type for those with hoarding disorder, too).

Catapres (clonidine) is a medication that was initially approved to treat high blood pressure. However, because of its calming effects, clonidine is often prescribed to people with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). It can help with symptoms such as hyperactivity, impulsivity, aggression, overarousal, and sleep difficulties.

The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has approved Kapvay, the extended-release version of clonidine, as a medication for children with ADHD ages six and up. It can be taken alone or along with stimulant medication.

How Clonidine Works

Clonidine prompts your brain to send signals to your blood vessels to relax them, lowering blood pressure. Its exact mechanisms in treating ADHD are not fully understood.

Stimulant vs. Non-Stimulant ADHD Medications

ADHD medications are generally categorized as either stimulants or non-stimulants. Clonidine, which is part of the class of drugs known as centrally acting alpha-agonist hypotensive agents, is considered a non-stimulant treatment for ADHD.

Non-stimulant medications are usually prescribed if a person with ADHD can’t tolerate stimulant medication because of severe side effects. Some health conditions also prevent using stimulants, such as certain psychiatric disorders, sleep disorders, cardiovascular disease, or a history of stimulant misuse.

Strattera (atomoxetine), the antidepressant medication Wellbutrin (bupropion), and Qelbree (viloxazine) are examples of other non-stimulant medications. The antihypertensive drug Intuniv (guanfacine) is another.

Pros and Cons of Clonidine for ADHD

Pros

Clonidine offers these benefits, especially for children:

• Can boost the effects of stimulants: Clonidine can be prescribed in addition to a stimulant medication, and it often enhances the effectiveness of the stimulant.
• No appetite effect: Clonidine doesn’t increase or decrease appetite. Some other stimulants suppress appetite, which can be a problem for people who are already underweight.
• Effective for kids: A meta-analysis of 73 studies looked at the efficacy of six ADHD medications for kids 6 to 18 years old. Among the three non-stimulants included, clonidine was found to be the most effective and tolerable compared with atomoxetine and extended-release guanfacine. (Wellbutrin was left out because evidence was lacking.)
• Reduces anxiety: People who have ADHD often experience anxiety. Medication from the benzodiazepine family, such as Xanax (alprazolam) or Valium (diazepam), is often prescribed for anxiety. However, these can be habit-forming and negatively affect cognitive functions such as attention. For this reason, clonidine is often prescribed to help people with ADHD who have anxiety.
• Helps with sleep difficulties: Sleep problems are another issue many people with ADHD face. A potentially positive effect of taking clonidine is that it can help improve sleep. In fact, some doctors prescribe a low dose of clonidine off-label (this means using an FDA-approved drug for an unapproved use) to help with sleep.
• Not addictive: While traditional stimulant medications might be avoided because they can be habit-forming, clonidine is not considered to be addictive.
• Reduces blood pressure: If you have ADHD and high blood pressure, clonidine may be a good choice for you because it will also help reduce your blood pressure.
• Can treat tic disorders: If you have both Tourette syndrome or another tic disorder and ADHD, clonidine can help the symptoms of both.

Cons

Clonidine is not suitable for everyone. It has some disadvantages that you should know about if you are considering taking clonidine.

• Doesn’t help all ADHD presentations: Clonidine helps with hyperactivity, impulsivity, aggression, overarousal, and sleep difficulties. However, it hasn’t been found to be as helpful for inattentive symptoms of ADHD.
• Little research on adults with ADHD: Studies have shown that clonidine can help ADHD symptoms in children and adolescents, but clonidine is not typically prescribed for adult ADHD. This could be because the symptoms that clonidine helps the most, such as aggression, hyperactivity, and impulsivity, often diminish in adulthood.
• Less effective than stimulants: Clonidine isn’t as effective as stimulant medications for treating ADHD symptoms. However, its effects are significant enough for the FDA to approve its use for ADHD.
• May cause brain fog: Rather than increasing the ability to focus, some people find clonidine reduces their focus or causes brain fog. Problems with the ability to focus can be temporary as your body adjusts to the clonidine. However, some people find this problem continues.
• May cause drowsiness: While clonidine can help with nighttime sleep problems, some people who take clonidine also feel fatigued or sedated during the daytime. This can have negative effects on school or work performance. Sometimes, the sleepiness decreases with time. This is an important side effect to discuss with your doctor, as it has the potential to be dangerous if you drive a vehicle or operate machinery.
• May cause erectile dysfunction (ED): A drawback for men taking clonidine is ED. Even though you might feel embarrassed to talk to your doctor about ED, they will be aware that this is a possible side effect and will want to help you resolve the issue.

Forms and Dosage

When clonidine is first prescribed, it’s usually at the lowest dose. This may be 0.05 to 0.1 milligrams (mg) to start. Your doctor gradually increases the dose until the effective (therapeutic) dose is found. Catapres tablets come in 0.1mg, 0.2mg, and 0.3mg. Kapvay is the extended-release version, and it’s available in 0.1mg.

Once the therapeutic dose has been found using tablets, using a clonidine patch is an option. It may take a few weeks to see the full effects of clonidine on ADHD symptoms, but you may see some improvement sooner.

Side Effects of Clonidine

These side effects often go away after you’ve taken the medication for a while, but if they don’t or they’re bothersome, talk to your doctor:

• Behavior problems
• Constipation
• Dizziness
• Dry mouth
• Erectile dysfunction
• Fatigue
• Headache
• Irritability
• Low blood pressure
• Nausea
• Upper abdominal pain
• Vomiting

Rare But Serious Side Effects

If you experience these or any other unusual or persistent side effects, contact your doctor as soon as possible:

• Difficulty breathing
• Hallucinations
• Hives
• Hoarseness
• Irregular heartbeat
• Rash
• Slow heart rate
• Swelling anywhere in the body

Precautions When Taking Clonidine

If you have a history of low blood pressure, you may be more likely to feel dizzy, lightheaded, and nauseous while taking clonidine.

Many people forget to take their medication. If you miss a dose of clonidine, don’t take a double dose as it could lower your blood pressure too much.

It’s important that you don’t stop taking clonidine abruptly, as this may cause rebound high blood pressure. Instead, your dose should be decreased gradually. Your doctor can give you advice on the best tapering schedule.

Compassion involves feeling another person’s pain and wanting to take steps to help relieve their suffering. The word compassion itself derives from Latin and means “to suffer together.”

It is related to other emotions, such as sympathy, empathy, and altruism, although the concepts have some key differences. Empathy refers more to the general ability to take another person’s perspective and feel the emotions of others. Compassion, on the other hand, is what happens when those feelings of empathy are accompanied by the desire to help.

Think of compassion as a revved-up, more active form of empathy. It’s why you might send your friend a “just checking in” text when you know they’ve had a rough day. When you notice your co-worker is extra quiet, compassion is why you offer a quick, “Hey, you seem a little off today. Is everything OK?”

The Value of Compassion

Compassion allows you to acknowledge someone’s struggles and respond with kindness, care, and support. It’s empathy in action. Showing compassion to yourself and others can strengthen relationships, increase happiness, and lower stress.

Sometimes, it just comes naturally, but there are also things you can do to strengthen it. Start by listening without judgment, offering to help, and practicing gratitude. Focus on being patient and showing forgiveness (for others *and* yourself) for mistakes. Think of compassion like a muscle: The more you practice, the stronger it will become.

Signs That You’re Feeling Compassion

How can you tell when what you are feeling is compassion (or empathy or sympathy or something else)? Some signs that what you are experiencing is compassion include:

• Feeling like you have a great deal in common with other people, even if you are very different in many ways.
• Being able to understand what other people are going through and feeling their pain.
• Being mindful of other people’s emotions, thoughts, and experiences.
• Taking action when you see that someone else is suffering.
• Having a high level of emotional intelligence so that you can understand, manage, and act on your own emotions as well as the emotions of others.
• Feeling gratitude when other people express compassion for your own hardships.

The Two Main Types of Compassion

Experts often distinguish between the two main forms of compassion, which vary depending on where these feelings are directed.

Compassion for Others

It really does hurt to know that others are hurting, and sometimes, that hurt makes us want to help. When you experience compassion for other people, you not only feel their pain—you also want to find a way to relieve their suffering. These feelings compel you to take action to do what you can to make the situation better.

Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is all about giving yourself grace instead criticism. It involves being able to acknowledge your weaknesses or failures without being judgmental or critical.

Rather than beating yourself up over past mistakes, you feel understanding, mindful, and accepting of yourself and your imperfections.

How to Flex Those Compassion Muscles

Even when you feel compassion, knowing how to best help or show your support is not always easy. You might feel awkward or uncomfortable or worry about making the situation worse. When emotions feel *heavy* and you aren’t quite sure how to help, there are several different steps you can take to show compassion to others. 

• Speak with kindness
• Apologize when you’ve made a mistake
• Listen carefully and without judgment
• Be encouraging
• Offer to help someone with a task
• Be happy for someone else’s success
• Accept people for who they are
• Forgive people for making mistakes
• Be respectful
• Express gratitude and appreciation
• Be patient

Compassion and empathy share common elements, but compassion goes a step beyond. Rather than just imagining yourself in their shoes, compassion drives you to take action to help that person. Because you are able to feel those emotions so keenly—almost as if it is happening to you—there is a strong motivation to find a way to change the situation or ease the other person’s pain.

Why Compassion Can Make a Real Difference

Compassion can have a positive impact on your life, ranging from improving your relationships to boosting your overall happiness. Some of the positive effects of compassion:

Giving Feels Good

One of the reasons why compassion can be so effective is that both giving and receiving can improve your psychological well-being. Being the recipient of compassion can help you get the support you need to carry you through a difficult time. But giving compassion to others can be just as rewarding.

For example, researchers have found that giving money to others who need it actually produces greater happiness rewards than spending it on ourselves.

It Helps People Live Longer

Helping others doesn’t just feel good—it can also help you live longer. Engaging in activities such as volunteering to help those you feel compassion for can improve your longevity. Research has found that people who volunteer out of concern for others tend to live longer, healthier lives than those who do not.

Showing Compassion Leads to a Life of Purpose

Evidence indicates that the happiness that comes from living a life of purpose and meaning—one that is fueled by kindness and compassion—can contribute to better health. Researchers have found that people who experience what is known as eudaimonic happiness—or the kind of happiness that comes from living a meaningful life that involves helping others—experience lower levels of depression, stronger immunity, and less inflammation.

Compassion Improves Relationships

Compassion can also help you build the social support and connections that are important for mental well-being. It can also protect your interpersonal relationships. Research suggests that compassion is a key predictor of the success and satisfaction of relationships.

Interestingly, the study found that while people tend to gain the greatest benefits when their partner notices their acts of kindness, they actually experience benefits whether their partner notices or not. What does that mean, exactly? It suggests that compassion is its own reward.

Simple Ways You Can Be More Compassionate

While some people tend to be more compassionate by nature, experts also suggest that there are steps you can take to cultivate a greater sense of compassion for both yourself and others:

Bring Your Attention to the Situation

The first component of compassion is to become more aware of what other people are experiencing. Imagine yourself in their shoes. Being able to see things from another person’s perspective can help you gain a sense of compassion for their situation. Practice putting yourself in someone else’s place and imagine how you might feel. Focus on feeling how they might be feeling.

Let Go of Judgment

Accepting people as they are and avoiding judgment is important. Focus on accepting people for who they are without criticizing or blaming the victim.

Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a practice of focusing on the present, becoming more aware of your own thoughts, and observing these thoughts without judging them. Research suggests that mindfulness-based interventions can be effective for improving self-compassion.

Show a Little Love and Kindness (Through Meditation)

Loving-kindness meditation is a form of meditation, also known as compassion meditation, that involves meditating while directing kind, compassionate thoughts toward yourself or others. Research suggests that this form of meditation can help people improve their connection to others and boost well-being.

Potential Pitfalls of Compassion

One potential pitfall of compassion is that constant exposure to the distress of others may contribute to what is known as compassion fatigue.

People who work in helping or caregiving roles (such as nurses, doctors, or emergency care workers) often experience an extreme state of tension as well as a preoccupation with those they are helping. Because of this, helpers can experience symptoms of trauma themselves. The result? It can potentially dampen their feelings of compassion.

Combating compassion fatigue is particularly important in healthcare and other helping professions. Research suggests that interventions that involve mindfulness meditation and other mindfulness-based practices can help people in these roles experience greater compassion for others, improve positive feelings, and reduce distress.

When we fall in love, we often believe the relationship will last forever. We always hope that this one is the one, that it will be different this time, and that there’s no way anything can ever happen to break you up.

Except, sometimes those things can happen, and you do break up. If we only look at the divorce rate, research shows it is around 50% (although measuring divorce rates is more complex than comparing marriages to divorces in a single year). Because they are not as closely monitored, it is much more difficult to obtain rates on casual and common law partnerships that break up.

Relationships end for a wide variety of reasons. Conflict is one common reason, but sometimes it involves other reasons that mean ending a relationship with someone you still care about. When this happens, you must learn to break up with someone you love. To do this, you should:

1. Acknowledge that it will cause pain on both sides
2. Have a face-to-face conversation
3. Be honest but not overly detailed
4. Avoid responding to arguments
5. Make a clean break in order to create distance
6. Be sympathetic
7. Don’t shame or blame the other person
8. Allow yourself to grieve the relationship

Why and How Do Breakups Happen?

Most of us enter relationships with the hope that we will never have to end them. Marriage, especially, is built on the premise that it will remain “until death do us part.”

Common causes for breakups include personality differences, lack of time spent together, infidelity, lack of positive interactions between the couple, low sexual satisfaction, and low overall relationship satisfaction.

How to Break up the Right Way

We say “right” way, but in reality, there is no right or “best” way to break up. Every relationship is different, and every person in a relationship is different. It is up to you to consider the personality, needs, and feelings of your partner as you read through this article and figure out how to end things.

Recognize That It’s Never Easy

Understand that there is no pain-free way to break up. We all wish that we could end relationships without any hurt or pain. But no matter how broken the relationship is, officially ending it will cause pain on both sides. Once you acknowledge that there will be pain, you can be prepared for the aftermath.

Do It Face-to-Face

If you’ve ever been dumped by text or email (or if you’ve been ghosted altogether), you know how it feels to be given so little consideration that the other person didn’t even bother to tell you in person. Why do the same to another person?

Your partner deserves the dignity of a face-to-face conversation. An intimate setting is arguably better, but if you are worried about your partner having a violent reaction, a public place is safer.

Be Honest But Don’t Give Too Much Detail

In general, people want to know why they’re being dumped. While “you’re terrible in bed” or “you lack ambition” might seem like an honest answer, it doesn’t really preserve your partner’s self-esteem or dignity.

Using a reflexive sentence like “I don’t feel we’re compatible sexually” or “I don’t think our long-term goals align anymore” are nicer ways to express your feelings. Don’t do a play-by-play of the things the other person did wrong or use clichés like “it’s not you, it’s me.”

Do Not Give In to Arguments or Protests

If the breakup is a surprise for the other person, they might try to argue, protest, or give reasons why you should remain together and try again one more time. If you are at the point of breaking up, nothing can restore or revive the relationship now. Giving in will only delay the inevitable.

Show Empathy

Express your sadness at the breakup and share some good things about your time together. Being dumped feels really bad. You can soften the blow a little by talking about some of the good times you shared together.

Say something like, “You taught me so much about cooking and I am a better cook now, thanks to you”. You want to make the other person feel like they had a positive impact on your life despite the relationship ending.

Avoid Blaming or Shaming

Avoid turning the other person into “the bad guy.” Nobody’s perfect. You have faults too, and turning your ex-partner into an evil figure is not helpful (aside from obvious instances of violence, but that’s not the kind of relationship we’re talking about here).

They may have done some bad things, like cheating, but they are human too. It’s better to resolve your feelings around what they did (if they did anything wrong) rather than who they are.

Give Yourself Time to Grieve

Even if you are the one ending the relationship, there will be a period of heartbreak, sadness, and pain. This is one of the most difficult parts of figuring out how to break up with someone you love. You still care about them, but you need to remind yourself of the reasons why the relationship isn’t working.

Most of us have had those fluttering feelings we commonly call “butterflies in the stomach”—the feeling we get when we’re nervous or excited about something. It’s a common phenomenon for people everywhere.

This article will discuss what it is, the science behind what is happening, if butterflies are truly a sign of love, the negative aspects of this feeling, and how to manage that butterflies in the stomach feeling.

What Is This Butterflies in the Stomach Sensation?

If you notice, butterflies usually occur when we are nervous, anxious, or excited. For example, maybe you had the jitters and got that “butterflies” in your stomach feeling before you were scheduled to give a big presentation to your team.

Or if you’re dating, maybe you experienced butterflies in your stomach when someone attractive approached you or when they knocked on your door before you went out on your first date. In those cases, you were likely excited.

How Science Explains the Butterfly Feeling

Scientists trace this sensation to a few things. The first is a chemical that is released called dopamine, the “feel-good” chemical. Dopamine helps us feel happy during pleasurable activities, like when you’re flirting or having sex.

The surge of norepinephrine in your central nervous system also contributes to feeling butterflies. Norepinephrine is both a hormone and neurotransmitter. As a neurotransmitter, it works as a chemical messenger between your nerve cells. Norepinephrine is released during times of stress or fear when the “fight or flight” response kicks in.

Similarly, it’s released during those romantic moments of attraction or arousal. While nervousness and arousal might seem like entirely different things, in both cases our bodies are in an excited, almost primitive state. Research has in fact shown that romantic love shares many characteristics with mammalian attraction.

The third way science explains the phenomenon we call butterflies in the stomach has to do with the gut-brain axis. If you have a gut feeling, butterflies in your stomach or gastrointestinal nervousness or stress, you’re receiving intelligence, but it’s coming from your gut area.

In effect, you’re experiencing the gut and brain’s remarkable connection. According to Johns Hopkins Medicine, what is nicknamed our second brain or gut brain, is located in our digestive system. The digestive system even has its own nervous system called our enteric nervous system (ENS).

Do Butterflies in the Stomach Mean Love?

When people describe the signs of love at first sight, they sometimes describe an instant attraction or knowing. They may also talk about experiencing butterflies in their stomach, stomach distress or a euphoric feeling.

Research from a study showed that hormonal changes happen when people fall in love, but those changes were transient. The cortisol levels rose significantly amongst those who had recently fallen in love compared with those who had not. Women in love showed higher testosterone levels while men in love showed lower levels of FSH and testosterone. But when tested 12 and 24 months later, their hormones reverted to normal levels.

If you’re confused about your romantic feelings for someone, take this quiz. It may help you see that you may very well be experiencing signs of attraction, infatuation or lust rather than love.

Can Butterflies in the Stomach Be a Bad Thing?

Having butterflies or gut-level signals can be a good thing. For example, it’s nice to be excited about a romantic prospect and feel that gentle flip-flop in our tummies. If our gut warns us to avoid a certain person, we should trust what it’s saying. Our gut has valuable information that it’s communicating to help us avoid danger.

Sometimes gut sensations and what people may erroneously call butterflies in the stomach signal a gastrointestinal disorder.  Nausea, persistent abdominal pain and extreme discomfort in the gut area can occur after an upsetting emotional situation or be traced to a physical cause. Whatever the source, it’s wise to seek medical attention about this.

According to one study, stresses from our thoughts and emotions after upsetting situations do indeed affect us. The bidirectional interaction between the brain and gut affects functional gut diseases like IBS. Dysregulation of the system is implicated in the origination and continuation of several stress-sensitive disorders.

Managing Butterflies in the Stomach

Based on the mind-gut intimate relationship, it’s understandable that people diagnosed with anxiety disorders and/or mood disorders have a high rate of IBS symptoms. In research, cognitive behavioral therapy, and other psychological interactions were effective for those suffering from IBS.

Let’s say it’s the first time you’re doing public speaking or going on a date after many years of not dating. Maybe your pulse has quickened, you’re hyperventilating a bit, you’re weak in the knees and the butterflies in the pit of your stomach are doing somersaults. No need to worry as that’s a pretty normal reaction to have.

Here are ways to manage the stress and respond before it gets the better of you. Some things you can do in the moment to calm yourself and some suggestions you might want to develop a practice around:

Having butterflies in your stomach lets you know you’re excited or stressed about something. Most of the time it’s nothing to worry about. Often temporary, it will likely pass. But if you constantly have this sensation, you’re advised to get treatment. You might be experiencing some kind of panic, stress or anxiety disorder.

An aptitude test is designed to assess what a person is capable of doing or to predict what a person is able to learn or do given the right education and instruction. The goal of an aptitude test is to predict the ability to learn new skills. It represents a person’s level of competency to perform a certain type of task.

What Does an Aptitude Test Do?

Aptitude tests are often used to assess academic potential or career suitability and may be used to assess mental or physical talent in a variety of domains. They are based on the idea that people have innate abilities and inclinations that predispose them to succeeding (or struggling) in specific areas.

So, is an intelligence test an example of an aptitude test? Not exactly. The two tests are similar but distinct in what they measure. An intelligence test measures your current cognitive skills; on the other hand, an aptitude test measures whether you have the potential to develop skills in specific areas in the future.

Aptitude Test Examples

People encounter a variety of aptitude tests throughout their personal and professional lives, often starting while they are children going to school.

Here are a few examples of common aptitude tests:

• An aptitude test assessing an individual’s potential for becoming a fighter pilot
• A career test evaluating a person’s capability to work as an air traffic controller
• An aptitude test given to high school students to determine which type of careers they might be good at
• A computer programming test to determine how a job candidate might solve different hypothetical problems 
• An aptitude test designed to assess a person’s physical abilities needed for a particular job, such as a police officer or firefighter

When You Might Take an Aptitude Test

Some situations where you might encounter aptitude tests include those given in school or work settings. Some examples of how these might be used include:

Aptitude Tests in School

Students encounter a variety of aptitude tests throughout school as they think about what they might like to study in college or do as a career.

For example, a student might take an aptitude test suggesting they are good with numbers and data. Such results might imply that a career as an accountant, banker, or stockbroker would be a good choice for that student.

Another student might find that they have strong language and verbal skills, suggesting that a career as an English teacher, writer, or journalist might be a good choice.

Special Aptitude Tests

Special aptitude tests are designed to look at an individual’s capacity in a particular area. For example, a business that is looking to hire a computer programmer will consider a candidate’s work history and interview performance, but they might also want to administer an aptitude test to determine if a person possesses the necessary skill to perform the job.

In this case, the special aptitude test is designed to look at a very narrow range of ability: how skilled and knowledgeable the candidate is at computer programming.

Multiple Aptitude Tests

Multiple aptitude tests are designed to measure two or more different abilities. In some cases, such tests may even resemble intelligence tests in terms of their focus and scope. The Scholastic Assessment Test (SAT) that high school students take during their senior year is a good example of a multiple aptitude test.

The Graduate Requisite Exam (GRE), as well as the specialized tests required in order to get into medical (MCAT), law (LSAT), and business graduate programs, are also examples of multiple aptitude tests.

Types of Aptitude Tests

Aptitude tests fall into different categories or types. Different types are given in settings such as schools or workplaces.

Some of the common types of aptitude tests include those focused on specific skills, such as:

• Verbal reasoning: The capacity for language skills and reading comprehension
• Inductive reasoning: The ability to infer general ideas and principles based on specific observations
• Logical reasoning: The ability to use logic to solve problems, spot patterns, and identify relationships
• Numerical reasoning: Assesses overall numerical aptitude and ability to reason with and manipulate numerical data
• Abstract reasoning: The capacity for taking general, abstract information and using that information to solve problems and identify patterns
• Creative and artistic aptitude: The ability to come up with novel ideas and exhibit artistic potential
• Spatial reasoning: The ability to understand relationships between two- and three-dimensional objects, patterns, and shapes
• Situational judgment: The capacity for solving problems and making decisions quickly and accurately
• Mechanical aptitude: The ability to understand mechanical concepts and technical information
• Error checking: Looks at how well you are able to spot mistakes and errors

Intelligence Tests vs. Aptitude Tests

So what exactly makes an aptitude test different from an intelligence test? Below, we compare the differences.

Intelligence encompasses many different abilities including problem-solving, reasoning, memory, knowledge, and the ability to adapt to a changing environment.

Similar to intelligence and aptitude tests are achievement tests, which measure a person’s knowledge and skill level in a particular area. Achievement tests tend to focus on what a person has learned as a result of formal learning or training.

So, what are the differences among intelligence, achievement, and aptitude tests? Viewing the three types of tests in terms of a timeline may help you differentiate them:

• Past: Achievement tests measure what you’ve already learned or accomplished.
• Present: Intelligence tests measure the innate cognitive ability you have right now.
• Future: Aptitude tests aim to uncover where you can potentially apply your skills in the future.

Aptitude tests can help you get an idea of what you are good at or what you might be good at given the right training. However, these tests cannot tell you everything. Consider your results carefully and evaluate other factors, such as your interests and experiences. Then, use this information to explore career options.

A poor score on an aptitude test doesn’t mean that you don’t have the potential to eventually succeed or even excel in that area, just as a high score on an aptitude test isn’t a guarantee of success. Instead, think of this information as a guide for where you might need extra work. With the right support, training, and effort, you can play to your strengths and overcome potential weaknesses.