Posts in category: Dating Tips, Guide and Advice

You cheated on your partner, but your relationship does not necessarily have to end. Even though admitting infidelity to your partner will cause much heartache and anger, your relationship can survive if you both want it to.

But repairing a relationship after infidelity can only happen if you truly regret your decision to cheat. If you decide to confess to your partner, make sure you are doing it for the right reasons, not just to ease your own guilt.

This article discusses how to fix a relationship after cheating, including the steps you need to take to rebuild trust and restore your bond.

Should You Save Your Marriage?

If you cheated on your spouse, you may wonder whether you can or should keep your marriage going.

Infidelity comes in many forms. Some people consciously or subconsciously use cheating as a way to end a marriage. Others cheat when seeking validation or fulfillment from an outside relationship. While others may be impulsive and take opportunities for immediate gratification. Regardless of the reasons, some relationships will be salvageable after cheating and some might come to an end.

Can you fix a broken relationship after cheating? It is possible, but it takes both people to make the decision to keep trying. There are a number of reasons why a relationship might not survive infidelity. When the betrayal is too painful or when both partners are not committed to mending the damage, it is likely that the partnership will end.

Ways to Save a Relationship After Cheating

There are steps you can take to rebuild your relationship if both you and your partner are willing to make it work.

Reflect on How You’re Feeling

You’ll want to take some time to yourself and process your emotions. Notice whether you feel regretful about cheating on your partner. Do you feel ready to be held accountable for your actions? Are you willing to invest the time to heal your relationship?

Is cheating on your partner something you feel you’ll do again? Be honest with yourself. Getting in touch with your feelings can inform the emotional work you’ll need to do if you want to make your relationship work.

Stop Cheating

If you are recommitting to your relationship, it’s important that you not continue to cheat. In cases where the infidelity was fleeting, it may be easier to stop and cut ties. When ending an emotional affair, on the other hand, the process may be more difficult.

If the person you cheated with is someone you see every day, like a co-worker, you will have to establish boundaries with them. For instance, you may avoid speaking with them about anything that isn’t work-related, and you don’t socialize with them outside of work.

The person you cheated with might also have feelings for you. If they continue to pursue you, you will need to make it clear that you can no longer see them.

Accept Responsibility

No matter your “reasons” for cheating, you must accept responsibility for your actions and rebuild trust. Avoid putting the blame on your partner or on your relationship problems. Apologize to your partner.

Make a Decision

Do you and your partner both want to stay in the relationship? If you both want to stay together, you have a common goal. Make a decision knowing that you’ll both have to commit to rebuilding trust and communication.

If your partner wants to end the relationship, you need to respect their decision. They may also need time and space away from you before they decide, and that’s OK.

Be Honest

You must be honest, with yourself and with your partner, if you want to move forward. It’s likely that you had to lie to your partner to keep your cheating a secret. Now is the time for transparency.

Be direct and open in order to help your relationship get to solid ground. Honesty in relationships is associated with lower conflict. But it is important for both partners to agree on being honest and to talk about their expectations.

Keep Your Promises

If you say you are going to be somewhere, be there. If you say you are going to do something, do it. Be dependable and don’t break your promises. It’ll be harder to rebuild trust in your relationship if you are not dependable and reliable.

Be Open and Patient

Be open to letting your partner know where you are, who you are with, and so on. Try not to hide things from them anymore.

It is normal for your partner to feel betrayed and be mistrustful. Acknowledge their feelings and work toward rebuilding the trust that you have betrayed. Don’t expect your partner to trust you again right away. But, with time, you can try to regain their trust.

Communicate

Research has shown that not being able to talk to one another is one of the most commonly cited reasons why marriages fail. Be willing to listen and talk to your partner.

If you cheated because your relationship wasn’t meeting your needs, tell your partner what those needs are. It’s important you both understand each other fully and have a sense of what the other person needs.

Give Your Partner Some Space

It is OK to take a “time out” if emotions are running high or one of you is emotionally triggered. Sometimes, things need to cool down before you can be around each other again or talk about difficult topics.

Spend Time With Your Partner

Along with letting your partner have some alone time, you need to have together time, too. Plan date nights and, when your partner is ready, consider taking a getaway together.

Get Professional Help

In order to move past the cheating, you and your partner need to be open to discussing and identifying issues and problems in your own personal life and in your relationship. You might consider seeing a relationship counselor or a marriage counselor to help with that process.

Can a relationship go back to normal after cheating? Some studies suggest that couples who experience infidelity and seek professional help often have optimistic results and are able to repair their relationships. Working together with a therapist and giving the relationship the time, commitment, and effort it takes to make it work will determine if you are able to return to normal after the infidelity.

Be Willing to Forgive

In addition to being forgiven by your partner, you need to forgive yourself. You should take responsibility for cheating, but you don’t need to carry buckets of guilt for the rest of your life.

One study looked at how couples rebuild their marriage after an affair. Researchers found that while the process was difficult, forgiveness played a critical role.

Why You May Have Cheated

Understanding the reasons you cheated can help you make peace with your own actions as well as inform the decisions you make about your relationship moving forward.

Being Unhappy in the Relationship

Be honest about why you cheated in the first place. Many people cheat because they’re unsatisfied with the relationship. Maybe you fell out of love with your partner. It’s possible you cheated because you were unhappy and wanted the relationship to end.

Or, maybe you cheated because you’re not as committed to your partner as they are to you. You may decide you don’t want to continue the relationship.

If you aren’t feeling confident about putting in the work to repair the relationship and fully committing to your partner, be honest and tell them.

Seeking Revenge

Some people cheat because they are seeking revenge for something their partner did to them. For instance, maybe you are angry at them for betraying you. Perhaps your partner cheated in the past or crossed your boundaries. Victims of sexual betrayal often seek revenge in the form of infidelity.

Sexual Desires

By cheating, you might’ve been fulfilling sexual desires that aren’t being met in your relationship. You and your partner can have an open conversation about your sexual needs—especially in a safe setting where you’re both comfortable sharing, such as therapy.

However, there may be needs your partner can’t fulfill. If you want to engage in sexual acts that your partner doesn’t feel comfortable with, you have to honor their boundaries.

Personality Traits

Studies have found that people with certain personality traits may be more likely to cheat on their partners. For instance, people who are more impulsive tend to have a harder time avoiding temptation.

Your attachment style—the way you relate to other people—may also influence cheating. People with an insecure attachment style often feel a lack of love from their partner and have low self-esteem. You might seek validation by having an affair.

No matter what type of personality you have, you can still have a successful, monogamous relationship if that’s what you truly want. The first step is being honest and understanding yourself better.

If you have people-pleaser tendencies, it can be difficult to say no. Sometimes it’s because you don’t want to disappoint someone, or you’re seeking approval. Many people hesitate to say no, even when they are over-stressed, over-booked, and just too busy to take on anything else.

If you struggle with this, then you’re not alone. But it’s important to learn how to say no to people and their requests when you’re at capacity or simply don’t want to do the thing. Being unable to set boundaries and say no can contribute to more stress, which may eventually turn to resentment.

Fortunately, you can learn how to say no to people without causing hurt feelings or impaired relationships. This article discusses some strategies you can use to set boundaries, protect your personal time, and say no more often.

Why It’s Important to Say No to People Sometimes

There are a number of reasons why knowing how to say no is so important.

• Saying no establishes boundaries: Boundaries demonstrate what you are willing to accept in a relationship and how you expect to be treated. They are important for relationship dynamics and for mental well-being. 
• Say no limits stress: Taking on too much or saying yes to things you really don’t want to do creates excessive stress. Stress can take a serious toll on your health and well-being, particularly when it becomes a chronic problem. 
• Saying no reduces resentment: If you say yes when you really want to say no, you may end up resenting the person who made the request. While saying no can be difficult, it can protect the health of the relationship in the long run. 
• Saying no can limit regret: If you say yes to things that don’t align with your goals or values, you may experience regret in the future. Being able to say no to people means that you’ll have more time to devote your energy to the things that really matter to you.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with saying no when necessary. This includes when you simply don’t have the energy to do everything you’re asked or when you want to prioritize self-care.

Why Saying No Can Be Hard

One important way to pare down your schedule is to get good at saying no to new commitments. So why can the simple act of not taking on more than you can handle be so hard? Past experiences and fears for the future can both play a role.

• You don’t want to upset others: Maybe you’ve had people be upset with you when you’ve said no. 
• You don’t want to feel guilty: You might want to help others and fear that if you turn them down, you’ll end up feeling guilty about it later. This is often the result of past experiences where you felt a lingering sense of guilt.
• You think you can handle it: Even though it feels like too much, you might assume that you can handle it. Or you might want to be known as the person who can handle it. Either way, it ends up piling a lot of unnecessary stress and work on your shoulders.
• You’re a people-pleaser: Saying no can be particularly difficult if you tend to be more of a people-pleaser. Unfortunately, such tendencies can lead to patterns of self-neglect and self-sacrifice that are detrimental to mental health.

Whether you say “yes” instead of no out of guilt, inner conflict, or a misguided notion that you can “do it all,” learning to say no to more requests can be one of the biggest favors you can do yourself and for those you love.

When to Say No

Knowing when to say no to other people can also be helpful. Every situation is different and will present its own challenges, but there are some common settings where you might find yourself struggling to say no.

At Work

Saying no at work is necessary at times, but it can also come with added pressures. Turning down projects might lead to fears that you will be passed over for promotions or raises. And you might worry that saying no to co-workers will negatively affect your relationship with them.

It is important to remember, however, that it is difficult to perform well if you take on too much. When you’re overworked, it means you’re not able to do your best. This can hurt your productivity and the quality of your work.

In a Relationship

Saying no to your partner can be particularly challenging. While you might want to say yes to the things your partner wants or needs, it is important to protect your own needs and interests in a relationship. Sometimes, that means setting boundaries and saying no. 

When you create boundaries, you help your partner get a better understanding of what is important to you. This can help them know you better, which will ultimately strengthen your relationship. 

Because relationships are about give-and-take, saying no to your partner might mean making compromises. For example, you might say no to hanging out with your partner’s friends on the weekend, but agree to attend a work event with your partner.

With Friends and Family

Saying no to friends and family can be difficult for many people. Sometimes this is because you don’t want to disappoint those closest to you.

Friends and family are also the ones who know you the best, so they often can phrase their requests in a way that is guaranteed to get a positive response.

Because of this, finding ways to set boundaries and say no to friends and family can be especially important. In such cases, simply saying no and firmly standing your ground is often the best strategy.

You might opt to tell them why you can’t comply with their request, but you also don’t owe other people explanations, even if they are family. Instead, state “No, I’m sorry, but I won’t be able to make it” and repeat as needed if they persist.

Signs You Should Say No to People

If you’re struggling to decide whether to turn down a request, ask yourself these questions. They might help you make a decision.

• Does saying yes support my goals?
• Does this project or request align with my values?
• Are there challenges that would make saying yes more difficult?
• Will saying yes to the request prevent me from doing something else that is more important to me?
• Will saying yes help or hurt my mental well-being?
• Will saying yes create more stress or contribute to burnout?

If saying yes will take away from the time and energy you need for things that are more important to you, then saying no to the request is probably the best option.

What to Say When Saying “No”

While saying no can be difficult, knowing how to do it can make it easier. These strategies can help you learn to say no more effectively and with less emotional distress.

“I’m Sorry—I Can’t Do This Right Now”

Sometimes it helps to stall until you have a chance to fully look at how saying “yes” to this new commitment may affect your life and the lives of those who already depend on you. Use a sympathetic, but firm tone.

If pressured as to why, reply that it doesn’t fit into your schedule, and change the subject. Most reasonable people will accept this as an answer, so if someone keeps pressuring you, they’re being rude.

“Let Me Think About It”

If you’re uncomfortable being firm or are dealing with pushy people, it’s OK to say, “Let me think about it and get back to you.” This gives you a chance to review your schedule and consider your options.

This strategy also allows you to think about whether you want to say “yes” to another commitment. To make a decision, do a cost-benefit analysis and then get back to them with a yes or no.

“I Can’t Do This, But I Can Do That”

If you would really like to do what they’re requesting, but don’t have the time (or are having trouble accepting that you don’t), it’s fine to say no to all or part of the request, but mention a lesser commitment that you can make. This way you’ll still be partially involved, but it will be on your own terms.

Examples of How to Say No to People

If you are still struggling to find the right words to say no, you might find some of the following examples helpful:

• “I’m too busy today. Maybe I can help out some other time.”
• “I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that. Is there some other way I could help?”
• “I’m feeling overwhelmed with work right now, so I’m going to have to take a raincheck.”
• “I’m not qualified to help with that project.”
• “That sounds really fun, but I won’t be able to make it.”
• “No, I have a previous commitment. Maybe next time.”
• “I’d love to help, but I can’t right now. Could you ask me again later?”

Keep in Mind

Remember that there are only so many hours in the day. This means that whatever you choose to take on limits your ability to do other things.

Even if you can fit a new commitment into your schedule, if it’s not more important than what you would have to give up to do it (including time for relaxation and self-care), you really don’t have the time in your schedule.

In addition to learning how to say no to people, you may also find it helpful to research strategies for finding time if you’re too busy. It’s also important to learn to set boundaries in general.

A hypothesis is a tentative statement about the relationship between two or more variables. It is a specific, testable prediction about what you expect to happen in a study. It is a preliminary answer to your question that helps guide the research process.

Consider a study designed to examine the relationship between sleep deprivation and test performance. The hypothesis might be: “This study is designed to assess the hypothesis that sleep-deprived people will perform worse on a test than individuals who are not sleep-deprived.”

The Hypothesis in the Scientific Method

In the scientific method, whether it involves research in psychology, biology, or some other area, a hypothesis represents what the researchers think will happen in an experiment. The scientific method involves the following steps:

1. Forming a question
2. Performing background research
3. Creating a hypothesis
4. Designing an experiment
5. Collecting data
6. Analyzing the results
7. Drawing conclusions
8. Communicating the results

The hypothesis is a prediction, but it involves more than a guess. Most of the time, the hypothesis begins with a question which is then explored through background research. At this point, researchers then begin to develop a testable hypothesis.

In a study exploring the effects of a particular drug, the hypothesis might be that researchers expect the drug to have some type of effect on the symptoms of a specific illness. In psychology, the hypothesis might focus on how a certain aspect of the environment might influence a particular behavior.

Remember, a hypothesis does not have to be correct. While the hypothesis predicts what the researchers expect to see, the goal of the research is to determine whether this guess is right or wrong. When conducting an experiment, researchers might explore numerous factors to determine which ones might contribute to the ultimate outcome.

Hypothesis Format

In many cases, researchers might draw a hypothesis from a specific theory or build on previous research. For example, prior research has shown that stress can impact the immune system. So a researcher might hypothesize: “People with high-stress levels will be more likely to contract a common cold after being exposed to the virus than people who have low-stress levels.”

In other instances, researchers might look at commonly held beliefs or folk wisdom. “Birds of a feather flock together” is one example of folk adage that a psychologist might try to investigate. The researcher might pose a specific hypothesis that “People tend to select romantic partners who are similar to them in interests and educational level.”

Elements of a Good Hypothesis

So how do you write a good hypothesis? When trying to come up with a hypothesis for your research or experiments, ask yourself the following questions:

• Is your hypothesis based on your research on a topic?
• Can your hypothesis be tested?
• Does your hypothesis include independent and dependent variables?

Before you come up with a specific hypothesis, spend some time doing background research. Once you have completed a literature review, start thinking about potential questions you still have. Pay attention to the discussion section in the journal articles you read. Many authors will suggest questions that still need to be explored.

Falsifiability of a Hypothesis

In the scientific method, falsifiability is an important part of any valid hypothesis. In order to test a claim scientifically, it must be possible that the claim could be proven false.

Students sometimes confuse the idea of falsifiability with the idea that it means that something is false, which is not the case. What falsifiability means is that if something was false, then it is possible to demonstrate that it is false.

The Importance of Operational Definitions

A variable is a factor or element that can be changed and manipulated in ways that are observable and measurable. However, the researcher must also define how the variable will be manipulated and measured in the study.

For example, a researcher might operationally define the variable “test anxiety” as the results of a self-report measure of anxiety experienced during an exam. A “study habits” variable might be defined by the amount of studying that actually occurs as measured by time.

These precise descriptions are important because many things can be measured in various ways. Clearly defining these variables and how they are measured helps ensure that other researchers can replicate your results.

Replicability

One of the basic principles of any type of scientific research is that the results must be replicable.

Some variables are more difficult than others to define. For example, how would you operationally define a variable such as aggression? For obvious ethical reasons, researchers cannot create a situation in which a person behaves aggressively toward others.

To measure this variable, the researcher must devise a measurement that assesses aggressive behavior without harming others. The researcher might utilize a simulated task to measure aggressiveness in this situation.

Hypothesis Types

The hypothesis you use will depend on what you are investigating and hoping to find. Some of the main types of hypotheses that you might use include:

• Simple hypothesis: This type of hypothesis suggests there is a relationship between one independent variable and one dependent variable.
• Complex hypothesis: This type suggests a relationship between three or more variables, such as two independent and dependent variables.
• Null hypothesis: This hypothesis suggests no relationship exists between two or more variables.
• Alternative hypothesis: This hypothesis states the opposite of the null hypothesis.
• Statistical hypothesis: This hypothesis uses statistical analysis to evaluate a representative population sample and then generalizes the findings to the larger group.
• Logical hypothesis: This hypothesis assumes a relationship between variables without collecting data or evidence.

Hypotheses Examples

A hypothesis often follows a basic format of “If {this happens} then {this will happen}.” One way to structure your hypothesis is to describe what will happen to the dependent variable if you change the independent variable.

The basic format might be: “If {these changes are made to a certain independent variable}, then we will observe {a change in a specific dependent variable}.”

A few examples of simple hypotheses:

• “Students who eat breakfast will perform better on a math exam than students who do not eat breakfast.”
• “Students who experience test anxiety before an English exam will get lower scores than students who do not experience test anxiety.”​
• “Motorists who talk on the phone while driving will be more likely to make errors on a driving course than those who do not talk on the phone.”
• “Children who receive a new reading intervention will have higher reading scores than students who do not receive the intervention.”

Examples of a complex hypothesis include:

• “People with high-sugar diets and sedentary activity levels are more likely to develop depression.”
• “Younger people who are regularly exposed to green, outdoor areas have better subjective well-being than older adults who have limited exposure to green spaces.”

Examples of a null hypothesis include:

• “There is no difference in anxiety levels between people who take St. John’s wort supplements and those who do not.”
• “There is no difference in scores on a memory recall task between children and adults.”
• “There is no difference in aggression levels between children who play first-person shooter games and those who do not.”

Examples of an alternative hypothesis:

• “People who take St. John’s wort supplements will have less anxiety than those who do not.”
• “Adults will perform better on a memory task than children.”
• “Children who play first-person shooter games will show higher levels of aggression than children who do not.” 

Collecting Data on Your Hypothesis

Once a researcher has formed a testable hypothesis, the next step is to select a research design and start collecting data. The research method depends largely on exactly what they are studying. There are two basic types of research methods: descriptive research and experimental research.

Descriptive Research Methods

Descriptive research such as case studies, naturalistic observations, and surveys are often used when conducting an experiment is difficult or impossible. These methods are best used to describe different aspects of a behavior or psychological phenomenon.

Once a researcher has collected data using descriptive methods, a correlational study can examine how the variables are related. This research method might be used to investigate a hypothesis that is difficult to test experimentally.

Experimental Research Methods

Experimental methods are used to demonstrate causal relationships between variables. In an experiment, the researcher systematically manipulates a variable of interest (known as the independent variable) and measures the effect on another variable (known as the dependent variable).

Taking a break from work is essential, and yet many people leave their vacation time unused. Whether you plan a vacation, a staycation, or a playcation, it’s essential to take a break from your job, your routine, and the demands of life to keep stress levels in check.

When you take a break, you’re not shirking responsibility. You’re taking care of yourself so you’ll have the stamina to be your best. By learning the signs that you need a break, you’ll know when to schedule some time away to help you feel refreshed and restored.

Risks of Not Taking Breaks

The body is designed to respond to short bursts of stress. When stress is prolonged and the stress response is triggered repeatedly and regularly—as can happen in a stressful job or a conflict-ridden relationship—the situation turns into one of chronic stress, and real health problems can set in.

Chronic stress may make you more susceptible to conditions ranging from frequent headaches and gastrointestinal issues to high blood pressure, which brings an increased risk of heart disease and stroke.

At this point, even positive events can feel overwhelming if they take energy to enjoy. You’re not able to respond from a place of strength and wisdom, but rather from a place of anxiety, or you work on auto-pilot.

If you don’t take a break, you may experience burnout. It can leave you exhausted, unproductive, and even depressed.

Signs You Need to Take a Break

Sometimes, it’s obvious that you need a vacation. In other cases, stress can sneak up on you. You may not necessarily recognize when you’re at risk of being overwhelmed and burned out.

Everyone responds to stress in unique ways. That means that the signs of being overwhelmed are also highly individual. However, there are some general warning signs that apply in most cases.

Key signs you need a break include:

• Changes in eating habits
• Cynicism about work
• Difficulty concentrating
• Getting sick more frequently
• Lack of energy
• Lack of motivation
• Low mood
• Frustration
• Feeling unfocused or fuzzy-headed
• Physical symptoms such as headaches or stomachaches
• Poor performance at work
• Sleep disturbances
• Using drugs or alcohol to cope with stress
• Withdrawing from friends, family, or co-workers

Don’t Wait Until You’re Burned Out

Don’t wait until you’ve reached the point of exhaustion to step back and take a break. Unless you already feel energized, motivated, excited, creative, and fully engaged at work and in your relationships, you’d likely benefit from a vacation, because it’s a good idea to manage stress before it feels overwhelming.

“I think of these breaks as preventative care,” says Rachel Goldman, PhD, FTOS, a licensed psychologist specializing in health and wellness. “We need to participate in them on a regular basis in order to be able to manage our stress and prevent burnout. The key is to prevent ourselves from getting to the point that we absolutely need the break.”

Benefits of Taking a Break From Work

Vacations and even shorter breaks (like an afternoon off) where you get some physical and psychological space from the demands of life can bring many rewards. Some of the benefits you may enjoy when you take a break include:

• Reduced stress: Obviously, you feel less stress when you’re not in a stressful environment. But breaks bring more than that. They interrupt the cycle of stress that can lead to being overwhelmed.
• Rest: By breaking out of the cycle of chronic stress, you can restore yourself physically and mentally to a healthier place.
• Clearer thinking: A chronically triggered stress response can lead to decreased creativity, memory problems, and other issues. So a break in the stress cycle can lead to sharper thinking and increased creativity in all areas of your life.
• Increased productivity: All of this can make you better at your job, more available in your relationships, more energetic with your family, and more able to enjoy life after you return.

Tips for Taking a Break From Work

If you need a break, there are several different options for getting one. You can go for a long and luxurious break, a relaxing and simple one, or something short and sweet. You can even have minutes-long breaks that you take throughout the day to boost productivity and to keep from feeling overwhelmed.

Vacation

A vacation is a real break, in the classic sense of the word, and taking a vacation is more important than many people realize. That’s why many vacation days go unused when they should be enjoyed to the fullest.

The key to a restful vacation is to prioritize rest and fun when you go; don’t overbook yourself with tourist activities or bring so much work with you that by the time you return, you feel you need a vacation from your vacation.

Staycation

The staycation is becoming more and more popular, especially as people have a greater need to take a break, but with fewer means to pull off a longer trip. The staycation is all about rest and relaxation, and enjoying home sweet home—a place you are often too stressed and busy to really enjoy.

The key to a refreshing staycation is the same as the key to a restful vacation, though it can be somewhat trickier to pull off: Don’t overdo it, and don’t let work creep in.

That means no cleaning, office work, or dealing with regular responsibilities. You can either turn off the phones, ignore email, and make it a point to rest and play at home, or go to a nearby hotel to make it easier.

“You can still check your email occasionally, as this sometimes helps decrease stress and anxiety while ‘on vacation,’ but just because you are home on a staycation, does not mean you are supposed to work,” says Dr. Goldman.

Playcation

Few people talk about having a playcation, but it’s a great idea: Stay home, but make it fun! The difference between a staycation and a playcation is that staycations tend to focus more on resting and relaxing, while playcations are for—you guessed it—fun!

With the hard work and stressful routines that characterize many people’s lifestyles, it’s important to have some fun as a way to recharge your batteries and be sure you’re enjoying life. You can devote several days to taking a playcation, or just be sure you pepper in some fun on a regular basis.

Short Breaks

Sometimes you just need to take a break from stress long enough to disrupt the body’s stress response cycle, and then get back into action. If you just need a quick break, take a hike or a bike ride, enjoy a movie, or even have a five-minute meditation session.

Spending time outdoors and physical activity can also be great stress relievers. Incorporating these into your short break, such as going for a walk outside around the block, can help you get more bang for your buck from your short break.

Having a panic attack can be a terrifying experience. Research suggests that around 13.2% of people experience panic attacks at least once. However, that doesn’t necessarily mean that they have panic disorder. Among people who have had panic attacks, 66.5% have experienced them recurrently. However, just 12.8% of these individuals meet the diagnostic criteria for panic disorder.

Panic disorder is classified as an anxiety disorder in the fifth edition of the “Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders” (DSM-5-TR). According to the guidelines, to be diagnosed with panic disorder, you must experience unexpected panic attacks on a regular basis.

What Is the DSM-5?

The “Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders” (DSM), published by the American Psychiatric Association (APA), is the system used in the United States to diagnose mental health disorders.

The 2013 release of DSM was the first significant update since 1994. Many changes were made in this fifth edition (DSM-5), including some updates to the diagnosis of panic disorder. An updated version of the DSM, the DSM-5-TR (text revision) was published in 2022.

The system in the DSM-5 is not without controversy. Many disorders have overlapping symptoms. Some professionals question the validity of this type of classification system, while others feel there is a great deal of subjectivity in its application.

Despite these reservations, a DSM diagnosis is often necessary for treatment, research, and insurance reimbursement.

Diagnosing Panic Disorder in DSM-5

The DSM outlines certain criteria that must be met to diagnose panic disorder. The diagnostic manual categorizes panic disorder as an anxiety disorder based primarily on the occurrence of panic attacks, which are recurrent and often unexpected.

It’s important to note that a panic disorder diagnosis must rule out other potential causes for the panic attack (or the event that feels like one):

Defining Panic Attacks

Since panic attacks are key to a panic disorder diagnosis, they are well-defined and specific. This is where the details in the DSM-5 are significant.

The previous version (DSM-IV) classified panic attacks into three categories: situationally bound/cued, situationally predisposed, or unexpected/uncued. The DSM-5 simplifies the approach to classifying panic attacks by providing just two very clear categories: expected and unexpected panic attacks.

According to DSM-5, a panic attack is characterized by four or more of the following symptoms (the presence of fewer than four symptoms may be considered a limited-symptom panic attack):

• Palpitations, pounding heart, or accelerated heart rate
• Sweating
• Trembling or shaking
• Sensations of shortness of breath or smothering
• A feeling of choking
• Chest pain or discomfort
• Nausea or abdominal distress
• Feeling dizzy, unsteady, lightheaded, or faint
• Feelings of unreality (derealization) or being detached from oneself (depersonalization)
• Fear of losing control or going crazy
• Fear of dying
• Numbness or tingling sensations (paresthesias)
• Chills or hot flushes

Agoraphobia vs. Panic Disorder in DSM-5

In previous versions of the DSM, agoraphobia was associated with panic disorder. With the updates included in the DSM-5, agoraphobia is now a separate and codable diagnosis.

Within the update to agoraphobia, the DSM-5 notes that a person must experience intense fear or anxiety in a minimum of two situations. These include being out in public, open spaces, and in crowds—essentially anywhere in which you’re outside of the home.

Agoraphobia also involves avoidance behaviors. These are a result of the fear of being in situations that may induce panic attacks or anxiety in which help may not be available or in which it would be difficult to flee. For example, a person with agoraphobia might avoid crowds, public transportation, or other public spaces where escape is difficult.

Getting a Panic Disorder Diagnosis

If you’ve ever had a panic attack, you might be wondering exactly how to determine if you have panic disorder. It is important to know that the symptoms of panic disorder may mimic many other anxiety disorders and/or medical conditions. Only your doctor or mental health professional can diagnose panic disorder.

Panic Disorder Discussion Guide

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Anxiety disorders such as panic disorder are among the most prevalent types of mental health conditions, but only around 20% of people who have symptoms of anxiety seek treatment. Because anxiety disorders are more common in women than men, experts now recommend that clinicians screen women and girls age 13 and older for anxiety conditions.

When seeking professional help in order to evaluate your symptoms and potentially reach a diagnosis, remember that honesty is key. You may even see one therapist and decide you’d like to see a different one instead. Remember to do what you are comfortable with.

Although it may feel difficult at first to discuss your feelings, remember that your doctor is there to help you and that speaking openly about your condition is the first step toward managing your symptoms in a healthy way.

It’s tough when you are feeling unappreciated. When you feel this way, it may seem as though you’re being taken for granted. After all, helping a friend move and making a special dinner for your loved ones takes a lot of time and energy. And when people don’t seem to notice, you might feel as though you’re efforts are overlooked and undervalued.

If you’re not careful, feeling unappreciated can lead to feelings of resentment and anger. Fortunately, these strategies can help you feel better and they might even prevent the relationship from being tarnished when you feel unappreciated.

Look for Appreciation Through Actions

Just because someone doesn’t say “thank you” doesn’t mean they don’t appreciate you. Not everyone uses words to express their gratitude.

Your partner pulling you into a hug or a teenager giving you a big high five might be their way of saying thanks. Similarly, when your coworker invites you to lunch or your friend insists on paying for your coffee, they may be communicating their appreciation to you as well.

So, take a minute and consider whether those around you might be showing you their appreciation in a different way. You might discover that they’re likely more grateful for you than you give them credit for.

Say “No” More Often

Sometimes, the more you do for people without complaining, the more they expect you to do. And they might forget to appreciate all you do for them.

Saying “no” sometimes can also be good for you if you’ve become a bit of a people pleaser. Declining a social invite or request for a favor might be tough if you’re used to always saying “yes.” But doing so reminds you (and others) that you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.

There may also be times when you decide to set limits. For example, if you overhear one of your kids telling a friend, “You don’t have to put your dishes in the sink. My parents pick up after me,” you may want to have a talk about your role.

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Show Some Kindness

Showing kindness can boost your own happiness. So consider whether helping others makes you feel good about yourself, even if others don’t seem to appreciate you as much as you’d like.

You might have a chance to learn new skills or sharpen existing ones—like patience. You also might get a chance to exercise or time to be in the car by yourself.

Take a look at all the things you gain from doing things for others and you might be surprised to see that there are many things to feel grateful for.

Appreciate Others

Focusing too much on the lack of appreciation you gain can cause you to forget to show appreciation for others. But saying “thank you” to those around you can inspire others to appreciate you too.

Thank your friends and family for all they do for you. You might show your appreciation with a verbal “thank you,” or you might send them a note reminding them how much you appreciate them.

Reframe Negative Thoughts

Be on the lookout for exaggeratedly negative thoughts. Thinking things like, “No one ever does anything nice for me,” or “Everyone expects me to do everything around here,” will only make you feel worse.

Remind yourself of times when other people have shown appreciation for you (even if you have to think back awhile). And remind yourself of times when you have been able to put limits on what you do.

Responding to your unhelpful thoughts with more realistic ones can help you feel a little more appreciated. You might remind yourself of things like, “My family appreciates all I do for them even if they don’t say it,” or “My family appreciates me sometimes,” and you might feel a little better.

Speak Up

Sometimes, it’s helpful to share how you’re feeling. You might talk to your partner, your boss, or your kids about what’s going on by saying something like, “Sometimes, I feel like my work goes unnoticed. I really enjoy it when my work is appreciated.”

But, there’s also a chance that they might insist they already show plenty of appreciation or they may turn it into a joke by saying something like, “I’ll appreciate you when you do better work.”

Just remember, some people make jokes when they’re uncomfortable. And their discomfort might just be a reflection of how they feel about themselves, not how they feel about you.

Talk to a Professional

If you chronically feel unappreciated, your relationships will likely suffer. You may want to talk to a licensed mental health professional about how you’re feeling. A therapist may recommend family therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, or other services to help you feel better.

A social construct is a concept that exists not in objective reality but as a result of human interaction. Put another way, it exists because humans agree that it exists.

Psychologists and social scientists study socially constructed reality to better understand how groups of people create social phenomena. They seek to understand how people participate in the construction and institutionalization of their perceived reality. Continue reading to learn how social constructs work, why they are created, and the impact they can have.

Examples of Social Construct

Some examples of social constructs are countries and money. Countries would not exist were it not for human interaction. Humans have to agree that there is such a thing as a country and agree on what a country is. Without that agreement, there could be no countries.

Money also would not exist without human interaction. If we think about objective reality, we might think that money does exist. After all, we can touch the paper or the coins. However, unless humans agree on what the paper or the coins represent and can be used for, paper money is just paper and the coins are just metal discs.

The concept of virginity is also a social construct. It is a concept that society has decided exists and used to mark a before and after for the onset of sexual intercourse. However, it is not something that physically exists in the real world.

And in many cases, this social construct is used as a tool to judge and shame people, particularly women and girls, who are often socially devalued for being “impure” or “unchaste” if they are sexually active. The emphasis on virginity also varies depending on the community and culture.

Why Humans Create Social Constructs

Social construct theory says that humans create constructs in order to make sense of the objective world. One way humans create social constructs is by structuring what they see and experience into categories.

For example, they see people with different skin colors and other physical features and create the social construct of race. Or they see tall plants with very thick stalks that branch out at the top and have leaves growing on them and “create” the construct of a tree.

Do trees exist outside of the social construct? If we didn’t agree on the construct of a tree, would we see those plants any differently? What about race? Does race exist outside of the social construct? Would we treat people of different colors differently if we did not have the social construct of race?

Social Constructs Can Change

A social construct can include the values and beliefs humans have about the construct. Additionally, humans can alter the construct as they continue to interact with the world.

For example, attitudes toward people with different skin colors have changed over time, and they continue to change. The construct of race still exists, but what the construct means has changed.

Gender As a Social Construct

People used to believe that men and women had specific gender-related roles determined by biology. Women were seen as more nurturing, so they were best suited to be mothers who stayed at home to raise children. Men were viewed as more aggressive and less nurturing, so they were best suited to go out to work and provide for the family. We have since debunked these myths.

The social construct of gender illustrates the nature vs. nurture debate about human behavior. If gender is only a social construct, it means that men and women act differently only because society has dictated their roles to them. They have learned how they should behave and what they should sound or look like.

This debate remains contentious when it comes to sex and gender differences. But most researchers believe that, whatever role inherent biological factors play, environmental factors are a major influence that can affect a person’s genetic expression.

History of Social Constructionism

The first work to cover the basic concepts of social constructionism was “Mind, Self, and Society” by American sociologist George Herbert Mead in 1934. Mead argued that as social beings, we construct our own realities through our interactions with each other.

Building on this, sociologists Peter L. Berger and Thomas Luckmann coined the term “social construction” in their 1966 book “The Social Construction of Reality: A Treatise in the Sociology of Knowledge.” Their work brought the idea of social constructionism to the forefront of mainstream sociology.

Since that time, social constructionism has become a widely accepted and studied theory, although it has taken on varying shades of meaning. In 2012, preeminent psychologist Dave Elder-Vass published “The Reality of Social Construction,” which posited that social constructionism is compatible with—not opposed to—realist social theory, and that both viewpoints have a place in sociology.

Key Takeaways

Social constructs exist because people agree that they exist. They play an essential role in helping people understand and interact with the world in which they live. While we often accept these constructs as inherent truths, it is important to remember that many of these “truths” are human-made and can change over time.

This includes our ideas about topics such as gender, race, and sexuality. By recognizing that our reality is socially constructed, we can work on creating a more inclusive world that better embraces the full range and diversity of human experiences.