Posts in category: Dating Tips, Guide and Advice

Listening to music isn’t just a fun hobby or enjoyable way to pass the time. Evidence suggests that it can help people with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) to improve focus and general well-being.

Music can improve emotional regulation, self-development, and relaxation, but that’s not all. Research has also shown that music can help decrease inattention, reduce negative mood, and promote reading comprehension for those with ADHD.

Many people with ADHD gravitate to instrumental music because it generally has a very structured rhythm that helps people focus. Because instrumental music doesn’t have worse, many find it less distracting. Other kinds of music with consistent and repetitive rhythm patterns, like electronic music, may also be helpful. 

Benefits of ADHD Music

Many people with ADHD typically have dopamine deficits. That means they need dopamine to get work done. Music can provide that much-needed hit of dopamine so they can focus their attention and get things done.

Music may also help improve mood in people with ADHD. Research shows that music significantly reduced sadness and hopelessness. (The good news: it also helped people who *don’t* have ADHD!)

It has also been found that keeping a stable rhythm and musical beat can be calming. This helps with a sense of security and stability that can lead to emotional well-being and regulation of stress hormones—something people with ADHD may have a hard time doing.

The Load Theory of Select Attention

A concept called the load theory of select attention states that maintaining attention in a given circumstance depends on the balance between late-stage attention and early-stage attention.

Early-selection attention involves deliberately concentrating your focus on something; late-selection attention involves being “directed involuntarily” (i.e., distracted) to something.

In people without ADHD, however, there is no need to redirect that late-selection attention. In fact, this may actually create a distraction for them, diverting resources from the earlier-selection stimuli.

Types of ADHD Music

Just as music in general can be such a personal preference, so can music for ADHD. While many people prefer to listen to music without words to focus, it may work for others. 

Similarly, “for some, it can come down to familiar music versus unfamiliar—which may also vary by person,” says Barkholtz. 

Here are some types of music you might want to check out to help you focus if you have ADHD, and why.

Binaural Beats

Binaural beats work by stimulating both sides of the brain, forcing them to work together to communicate with each other to create the singular wave that is sensed by your awareness.

If you are searching for binaural beat music on your own, you can usually just search something like “binaural beats for ADHD,” but if you are looking for something more specific, you’ll want to look at music in the Alpha frequency (9-13Hz).

Rock Music

Though it may be hard to believe, rock music has been proven to help people with ADHD improve their rates of task completion. Rock music can also help with hyperactivity because the repetitive beat reduces the muscle tension common in those with ADHD. 

Classical Music

One reason classical music may help those with ADHD is that it increases arousal and puts brains in the alpha state, which leads to improved cognitive performance. Mozart, in particular, has been proven to help.

Lo-Fi

With its predictability and steady rhythm, lo-fi music helps the frontal brain lobe focus by reducing outside distractions.

It has been shown to increase memory recall, and the quality of the music can almost be described as white noise. Many playlists exist specifically meant for studying or working. 

Listen to this music style on YouTube.

Or, You Can Listen to Whatever You Want

Ultimately, just because a study says that a certain type of music helps concentration doesn’t mean that it’s the only type of music that can feel helpful—or even enjoyable—to you. 

“Momma’s boy” is a term sometimes used to describe a man who lacks self-reliance and is overly dependent on his mother. While it has traditionally been used as an insult, shifting attitudes have led to changes in how the term is used today. For younger generations, the term is often used to describe men with a healthy respect and appreciation for their moms.

Being married to a momma’s boy isn’t always a bad thing. A man who is close to his mother is not a momma’s boy in a negative way.

Research has shown that boys and men with strong relationships with their mothers are mentally healthier, more empathetic, and have better relationships with women. However, a man who seems unhealthily attached to his mother might be more of a problem. This is particularly true if he can’t seem to function without her.

What Is a Momma’s Boy?

The term “momma’s boy” (sometimes written as “mama’s boy”) is often used as slang to describe a man who has an unhealthy dependence on his mother well into adulthood when he is expected to be independent and self-reliant. 

The term was first used in the early 1900s, and its popular use is rooted in the work of theorists and child development researchers such as Sigmund Freud and Benjamin Spock.

In the past, psychologists and child experts often believed that maternal warmth and coldness were connected to psychological issues in children, particularly in boys. Today, experts recognize that healthy attachment is essential for the mental well-being of boys and men.

Many men, from professional athletes to entrepreneurs, proudly claim to be momma’s boys. The term has been reclaimed in recent years to indicate a boy or man who appreciates, respects, admires, and/or is close with his mother.

Signs Someone Might Be a Momma’s Boy

In order to recognize the signs that someone might be a momma’s boy, it’s important first to be able to recognize some of the signs of unhealthy boundaries.

Such behaviors are often a sign of enmeshment. When enmeshment persists into adulthood, men may continue to rely on their mother to meet their practical, financial, emotional, and social needs. Examples might include having his mom balance his checkbook, clean his house, and provide money.

Researchers suggest that these interparental boundaries are important not only for the relationships between kids and their parents, they also establish the tone that helps determine the quality of other family relationships as well.

Effects of Being a Momma’s Boy

Being a momma’s boy may have some potentially negative psychological effects. For example, research has found that boys who fail to form secure, nurturing relationships with their mothers are more likely to be aggressive as children and emotionally distant as adults.

Healthy relationships between mothers and sons are important. Boys with good relationships with their moms are more likely to feel secure, confident, and emotionally strong. Research has also shown that boys who have difficult relationships with their moms are at a greater risk of delinquency during adolescence.

Some of these negative effects can include him being overly dependent on his mom and ignoring your needs and wishes. This can ultimately lead to feelings of resentment and difficulties with communication.

How to Handle Boundary Issues

If you are having relationship problems caused by your partner’s unhealthy boundaries, there are some things that you can do to improve the situation. Some things you should try include:

Establish Clear Boundaries

Your man might be used to his mother catering to his every need and want, but that does not mean that you need to as well. It is important that you set boundaries and let him know that you will not behave like his mother.

He can act like a boy with his mother all he wants, but when he is with you, he should act like an independent adult who can take care of himself.

He may use manipulation to get his way, so you need to be strong when he accuses you of not loving him and wanting what is best for him. Studies have shown that managing boundaries in marriage is important for a successful relationship, especially in couples where both partners are wage-earners.

Maintain Independent Space

Moving into her house is not a good idea if he’s a momma’s boy. Chances are, their relationship as mother and son will come before your relationship with him. He will most likely side with his mother on every subject to avoid upsetting her. He may even go to his mother when the two of you disagree.

While he can do these things even if you live outside her home, the distance will help some. You do not want to feel like the third wheel when living with your spouse.

If you are in financial straits and his parents have offered to help you by letting you move in, make sure there is an end date in mind. If you are doing it to save for your own home, realize that you risk damaging your marriage.

However, keep in mind that living apart from your in-laws does not guarantee a stress-free relationship with them. Many couples still report feeling pressure.

Avoid Confrontation

It’s not your place to go to your mother-in-law and ask her to back off. If you want to talk to anyone about the situation, it’s your husband you need to talk to. Do not come from a place of anger, though.

Remind him that you like his mother and don’t mind going to her house for dinner once a month, but she should not be coming on all of your activities and dates just because she is lonely or has poor boundaries.

Explain that you do not want her out of your lives, but you both need time to connect and grow as a couple.

Make Your Own Choices

It’s one thing for your mother-in-law to make his choices if that’s what he is comfortable with. She might pick out his clothes, his food, and even his career. If he is incapable of making these decisions without her input, however, that might be something to consider trying to iron out.

You don’t want his mother to become a decision-maker about choices you make as an individual or as a couple. Do not include your mother-in-law in your marital disagreements.

One of the most frightening experiences a person can have is hearing a friend or loved one say they want to die. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reports that nearly 50,000 people die by suicide each year, a number that rose 2.6% between 2021 and 2022.

While it can be tempting to cope with this information by labeling it as attention-seeking behavior or clinging to the myth that people who talk about suicide don’t actually follow through (which is simply untrue), it’s important to take all warning signs of suicide and suicidal ideation seriously.

“By not talking about suicidality and feelings of concern for others, we are unable to make the connections necessary for support or intervention,” says Robin Glenn, MA, a therapist working with at-risk teens and their families. “By not talking about suicidality or concerns, those suffering from ideation may not know they have a safe space for help-seeking and are less likely to reach out when they need resources.”

If someone you know is suicidal:

• Determine if the risk is imminent (and call 911 if it is)
• Ask questions about what they are feeling
• Show genuine concern
• Listen calmly
• Encourage them to reach out to a suicide hotline

If the Risk of Suicide Is Imminent

If your friend is at risk of attempting suicide right now, call your local police department or 911 right away. Imminent danger includes situations where the person is in possession of a weapon, pills, or other means to follow through with suicide. 

If possible, don’t leave them alone and do your best to remove any items they can use to hurt themselves. If it is safe, you may also drive your friend to the emergency room. Doctors will assess their mental and physical health and create a clear plan that will help keep them safe. 

If, on the other hand, you believe the threat is serious, but not imminent, it’s still important to act, but you may take the time to show support, listen, and encourage them to seek professional help. Help is available. Here are some helpful tips from various suicide prevention resources.

Confirming Suicidal Thoughts

If you are unsure what to say, Glenn recommends being direct and factual as you discuss your observations. She recommends phrases such as, “I’m worried about you because I’m noticing that you’re not sleeping or taking care of yourself the way you normally do.” When you ask about suicidality, she suggests directly asking, “Have you been thinking about killing yourself.”

Studies show that asking at-risk friends and family members if they are thinking about suicide does not increase suicidal thoughts. You are not putting ideas in their head by asking. On the contrary, asking will give you valuable information about how to proceed and help.

“It is now widely known in clinical communities that talking helps, and it will not plant an idea.  In addition, the more often we talk, the better off we are,” Glenn says.

Fortunately, most people will either say that they have no definite plans or don’t have the nerve to do it themselves. Although this is still a serious situation, if their answers indicate that they don’t have a plan, they are probably not in imminent danger of hurting themselves.

Take their words as a plea for help and proceed with helping them to get the assistance that they need. Urge them to seek professional help as soon as possible.

If the answers they give you lead you to believe they are in immediate danger, don’t hesitate to contact the authorities.

How to Help a Friend Who Is Suicidal

There are a number of different things you can do to be a supportive and empathetic friend. The key is to avoid being judgmental or dismissive of what your friend is feeling.

Speak From the Heart

You may be struggling with trying to figure out what to say to someone who is depressed or suicidal. Remember, there are no right or wrong things you can say if you are speaking out of love and concern. Just be yourself, Glenn says.

Show that you care by talking to them, holding them while they cry, or whatever else is necessary. Research has shown that acknowledging what people are experiencing may help them process their thoughts and may reduce their suicidal thoughts.

Listen

A suicidal person usually is carrying around some burden that they feel they just can’t handle anymore. Offer to listen as they share their feelings of despair, anger, and loneliness. Sometimes this is enough to lighten the load just enough for them to carry on.

Be sympathetic, non-judgmental, patient, calm, and accepting. The person will pick up on your attitude and begin to mirror it for themselves.

Keep Them Talking

Talking will allow them to reduce their emotional burden and give them time to calm down. The longer you keep them talking, the more you can take the edge off their desperation. As their momentum winds down, it’s harder for them to act on their feelings.

Glenn emphasizes the importance of being yourself and recognizing your own power to make a difference in your friend’s life. “When in doubt (in life), be yourself. Authenticity, sincerity, and a little bit of bravery can add light and hope to another’s isolation and secret suffering. You have an incredible superpower to be a beacon of connection just by being you,” she says.

Avoid Trying to Solve the Problem

Try not to offer quick solutions or belittle the person’s feelings. How big they perceive the problem to be and how much they are hurting over it is what counts. Rational arguments do little good to persuade a person when they are in this state of mind.

Instead, offer your empathy and compassion for what they are feeling without making any judgments about whether they should feel that way.

Take Care of Yourself

Dealing with a suicide threat is very stressful. Be sure to care for yourself as well and seek assistance to process and decompress afterward. Talk to a trusted friend, a therapist, your doctor, a religious leader, or anyone who can offer support for what you’ve been through and how you feel about it.

Keep Checking In

Glenn notes that talking about suicidality isn’t just a one-time conversation. If you are concerned about someone, checking in with them regularly can give you a better understanding of what they might be experiencing.

Talking about these things can help loved ones better spot the difference between fleeting thoughts and active suidal ideation, which is why Glenn suggests making such conversations a regular part of life’s dialogue.

Seeking Emergency Help

If the person has already started a suicide attempt, call for help immediately. If they are still conscious, get what information you can about any substances they have ingested, how long ago they took them, how much they took, when they last ate, and their general state of health.

If you are in a situation, such as an online friendship, where you know very little about the person, encourage them to call 911 on their own or a suicide hotline in their area. This is your best option because a local agency, such as 911 or a hotline, may be able to trace the call and get assistance to them.

If they refuse to call, do your best to learn whatever personal information you can about the person. Don’t hesitate to ask them for their address, phone number, and other information to help dispatch an emergency crew to their home. 

More Helpful Resources

Breakup sex involves having sex with a former partner after you’ve ended your committed romantic relationship. It might happen at various points, such as during a breakup or after you split. While it isn’t uncommon, there are important emotional consequences to consider.

Ending a relationship isn’t easy, so people sometimes find themselves drawn to their former partner. It may be tempting to have sex with a former partner as opposed to waiting to find a new partner or having sex with someone you don’t know at all.

How Common Is Breakup Sex?

On the surface, the familiarity and comfort of an old flame may seem appealing—particularly because many people are frustrated with the current dating climate. This may be especially true for women, who may be hesitant about the potential risk and vulnerability involved in sex with a new partner.

Almost one in four couples who are legally married but separated continue to have regular sexual contact. Additionally, for 14% of individuals, their last sexual partner was someone with whom they were previously in a relationship.

Why Do Couples Have Breakup Sex?

There are many reasons a person would choose to have sex with their ex. Whether it’s out of pleasure or comfort, or this person wants to reconnect with their ex in some way, here are some of the reasons sex with an ex is quite common.

For Pleasure

According to studies, many couples engage in post-relationship sex for their own purposes that have little to do with their ex. The number-one reason cited for sex with a former partner is “for fun.” The second most common reason is sexual frustration or “missing sex,” but not necessarily with that specific person.

Men are more likely to identify pleasure as their primary reason for continuing to have sex after a breakup. This may be because, across all cultures surveyed, men are more likely to value quantity over quality with respect to sexual partners. This is true despite men and women reporting equal enjoyment during sexual activity.

Relationship Maintenance

A desire to rekindle a union with a former partner may also be the motivation for continued sexual contact. The third most common reason for this behavior is a hope for “mate retention,” or in other words, keeping your ex in your life.

Relationship Ambivalence

Confusion about how one feels about the ending of a relationship may also be the incentive for breakup sex. A person may want to keep the partner on the “back burner” or as a “just in case” option for the future if there are unresolved feelings. This often holds true if the person doubts their potential for success with prospective partners.

The arrangement of occasional hookups with a previous sweetheart may have the appeal of feeling like the best of both worlds. You have the comforts of familiarity minus monogamy. Men are more frequently motivated by relationship uncertainty.

Others might have a more “laissez-faire” attitude towards physical intimacy and feel that it simply doesn’t matter who their partner is. Some admitted that a desire to maintain a friendship with an ex was actually fueled by a wanting continued sexual access to that person.

Emotional Distress

Broken-heartedness seems to be a major influence in a person’s willingness to engage in sex with a past love. This may be where the distinction between ex sex and breakup sex becomes relevant.

This may seem overly nuanced; however, social scientists have determined that the psychological and emotional pain caused by the end of a pairing seems to peak at the two-week mark. So, inside of this timeframe, grief may be the main motivation for wanting ongoing contact.

Some people feel that sex with a past partner will help them heal and recover from the end of their union. There are individuals who believe that continuing a sexual relationship offers some measure of closure following a breakup.

What Factors Influence Ex Sex?

There are a few factors that influence whether people continue to have sex with a former partner. Someone feeling that they are, or were, in love with the other person increases their desire to engage in sex after the end of the relationship.

The perceived attractiveness of a former partner is another major factor. Those who feel that they are suffering a loss in social status or financial resources tend to participate in ex sex more often and view this as a possible mate retention tool.

Whether or not one is the initiator of the breakup seems to be of little consequence when it comes to post-relationship hookups. With equal frequency, those who identify as the dumper or the dumpee participate in physical intimacy with their ex.

Are There Psychological Consequences of Breakup Sex?

Couples who continued to engage in sex acts with a prior partner for two months or more felt that this behavior had no impact on their overall well-being.

Furthermore, there is data to support the notion that women tend to have sexual regret and feel badly about themselves following sex with an ex. Men tended to actually feel better about themselves in the same scenario.

Neurodivergent is a term used to describe people whose brains function in ways that differ from what is considered typical, often due to ADHD, autism, dyslexia, or other learning or developmental differences.

Neurodivergence isn’t a disorder; it’s a way of understanding the natural variations in how the brain works in processing information and relating to others. The concept also emphasizes that different ways of thinking come with unique strengths and challenges, which is why support and acceptance are so important.

What Does Neurodivergent Mean?

Neurodivergence is the term for when someone’s brain processes, learns, and/or behaves differently from what is considered “typical.”

Formerly considered a problem or abnormality, scientists now understand that neurodivergence isn’t inherently an issue for the individual and that it has a large societal benefit. Not all presentations of neurodivergence are a disability, like synesthesia, but all are a difference in how the brain works.

With this shift, practitioners are no longer treating neurodivergence as inherently an illness. They are instead viewing them as different methods of learning and processing information, some of which become disabilities in an inaccessible and ableist society.

What’s the Difference Between Neurodivergent and Neurotypical?

Neurodiversity is the concept that there are a variety of ways that people’s brains process information, function, and present behaviorally. Rather than thinking there is something wrong or problematic when some people don’t operate similarly to others, neurodiversity embraces all differences.

The concept of neurodiversity recognizes that both brain function and behavioral traits are simply indicators of how diverse the human population is.

The term neurodiversity was coined by autistic sociologist Judy Singer in 1997. Neurodiversity can be divided into two categories: neurotypical and neurodivergent people.

• Neurotypical: Neurotypical refers to someone whose brain functions, behaviors, and processing are considered standard or typical. They may have no idea they are neurotypical because the subject has likely never come up for them before. They hit developmental and behavioral milestones at the standard times and ages and generally move through life without having to wonder if their brains function the same as others’.
• Neurodivergent: Neurodivergence is the term for people whose brains function differently in one or more ways than is considered standard or typical. This may manifest in mild ways that most people would never notice, or in more obvious ways that lead a person to behave differently from what is standard in our society.

Types of Neurodivergence

Because the idea of neurodivergence has grown to encompass a range of consistent ways that some brains work differently than others, it shouldn’t be surprising to learn that there are many different ways neurodivergence manifests.

You may not have heard of all the different types, but chances are you are familiar with some. These are the most common examples.

Autism

Autism is known as a “spectrum disorder” because autistic people range in what autistic traits they have, how these traits present, and their support needs. It previously had many subtypes, such as Asperger’s and pervasive developmental disorder (PDD), but now they are all classified as an autism spectrum disorder.

The term Asperger’s is also no longer accepted in the autistic community due to its origin from a Nazi scientist for use in the field of eugenics.

Autism is a broad set of conditions that may include challenges with social skills, repetitive behaviors, and speech difficulties that can lead people to communicate via Alternative Augmentative Communication, writing, typing, or sign language instead of verbally.

According to the Autism Self-Advocacy Network, autistic people generally think, process their senses, move, communicate, and socialize in a consistent range of ways that differ from how allistic (non-autistic) people do.

ADHD

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is an executive function dysregulation disorder, which means individuals may have difficulties managing their thoughts, attention, behaviors, and emotions.

People with ADHD may:

• Have difficulty with organization
• Be restless
• Seem disinterested or zoned out
• Show inappropriate behavior when experiencing strong emotions

Thanks to their out-of-the-box thinking, people with ADHD are often great problem solvers, may be energetic and “fun,” and are often sensitive to others.

Dyslexia

This form of neurodivergence involves speaking, reading, and writing. Dyslexia is typically associated with misreading, writing, or speaking words or letters out of order, but it encompasses more than that.

For example, it may involve confusion with certain letters, difficulty organizing words into sentences, trouble acquiring a vocabulary or pronouncing words, and/or challenges following directions.

People with dyslexia are often “big picture” thinkers who excel at visual processing. In addition, they tend to have strong spatial awareness and may be very creative.

Other Types

Other types of neurodivergence include:

• Tourette’s
• Dyspraxia
• Synesthesia
• Dyscalculia
• Down syndrome
• Epilepsy

Chronic mental health illnesses are also a form of neurodivergence. This includes conditions such as:

• Bipolar disorder
• Obsessive-compulsive disorder
• Borderline personality disorder
• Anxiety
• Depression

How to Know If You’re Neurodivergent

If you have been diagnosed with any of the above conditions, you would be considered neurodivergent.

• Talk to your doctor: If you have never been formally diagnosed but resonate strongly with the descriptors for one or more types of neurodivergence, you might benefit from seeking a professional to find out for sure.
• Explore the diagnostic criteria: You can learn more about the condition’s descriptions in the “Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders” (DSM-5-TR), the tool doctors and mental health professionals use to diagnose mental health conditions.
• Learn from other neurodivergent people: It’s also helpful to explore the lived experiences of people with that presentation of neurodivergence. Self-diagnosis is a valid form of identification, and is often the only accessible diagnostic avenue for many marginalized people.

While neurodivergence is common, many people do not realize they are neurodivergent until they reach adulthood. This can create challenges as people find ways to adapt to the differences in how they think and process information, but it can also be helpful.

For many adults, finding out they have ADHD, autism, or another form of neurodivergence often helps explain things they didn’t understand about themselves previously.

If you have never been diagnosed with any of the above terms and never felt that you had any traits, then chances are you are neurotypical.

Can You Become Neurodivergent?

Many forms of neurodivergence are an innate part of how the brain develops and functions. While these differences may go unrecognized or undiagnosed in childhood, that doesn’t mean they weren’t there; they may have been present from childhood.

Acquired neurological conditions, such as traumatic brain injuries, strokes, and Alzheimer’s disease, can also lead to neurodivergence.

How Common Is Being Neurodivergent?

The exact number of people who are neurodivergent is not known, but looking at the prevalence of conditions linked to neurodiversity can indicate how common it may be.

• According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), 1 in every 44 eight-year-olds is believed to have autism spectrum disorder, or 2.3% of children in that age group. It is 4.2 times more common in boys than it is in girls, largely due to a patriarchal lack of understanding of how autism presents in minoritized genders.
• The CDC suggests that around 9.4% of all children are diagnosed with ADHD at some point before the age of 18.
• According to the Yale Center for Dyslexia and Creativity, dyslexia affects 20% of the population.

What Is It Like to Be Neurodivergent?

There is no one answer to what it’s like to be neurodivergent. There isn’t even an answer to what it’s like to have any kind of specific neurodivergent diagnosis!

People are individual and unique; in the same way that it doesn’t feel the same for all people to have bodies, it doesn’t feel the same for all people with different neurodivergent diagnoses.

Life is experienced differently by all humans, whether their brains function very similarly to the majority of people or very differently.

Where Does the Term ‘Neurodivergent’ Come From?

Like the umbrella term neurodiversity, the word neurodivergent was also coined by sociologist Judy Singer. While originally used to refer specifically to people who are autistic, usage of the term has broadened significantly in years since.

If you’re interested in learning more about what it’s like to be neurodivergent, there is plenty available on the subject!

Books

• Personal stories in books such as “Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger’s,” “Thinking in Pictures,” and “Funny, You Don’t Look Autistic” are personal accounts of being neurodivergent.
• Fictional books with neurodivergent main characters include “Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine,” “Flowers For Algernon,” and “On the Edge of Gone.”
• Nonfiction books about neurodivergence and the future of neurodiversity include “NeuroTribes,” “Neurodiversity: Discovering the Extraordinary Gifts of Autism, ADHD, Dyslexia and Other Brain Differences,” and “Divergent Mind.”

Podcasts

There are podcasts on the topic for those who prefer to listen to materials. These include The Neurodiversity Podcast, Neurodiverging, and Sensory Matters.

Social Media Accounts

If you’d like to diversify your social media feed with neurodivergent voices and advocates, some top choices to follow are:

The Future Of Neurodivergence

As society shifts its understanding of how the brain operates, the way in which we treat those who are neurodivergent will also change. For example, there is much work that has been done to stop treating autism as an illness that must be cured.

Special education is making progress in this arena as well, with approaches becoming centered around how people with assorted neurodivergent tendencies learn best.

Advocacy for neurodiversity acceptance may have begun with autism and how it is managed, but it has grown to include the many different neurodivergent types. The more we accept, affirm, and understand that it’s quite common for brains to work differently, the more easily we can go about accommodating people in ways that work best for them to learn, function, and thrive in society.

Words of encouragement are often short phrases designed to cheer someone on, in good times and bad. Encouraging them can be a powerful way to show them you care about them and support them.

Sometimes, these words are short and sweet, like “You can do it” or “I believe in you.” Or you might deliver more specific support, like “Things are hard, but I’m here for you” or “You don’t have to do it perfectly to make progress.”

Words of Encouragement for Everyday Moments

• Keep going!
• You’ve got this!
• I believe in you.
• Don’t give up.
• You’re doing great!
• You matter.
• Stay strong.
• Take a deep breath.
• Trust yourself.
• You’re not alone.
• You’re stronger than you think.
• You can handle this.
• Progress is progress.
• One step at a time.
• Keep moving forward.

Words of Encouragement for Tough Times

• It’s OK to take things day by day.
• Hang in there!
• Your feelings are valid.
• You can survive hard things.
• You are doing the best you can.
• This pain won’t last forever.
• You don’t have to have all of the answers right now.
• You deserve support.
• It’s OK to feel overwhelmed.
• You have people who care about you.
• You don’t have to be perfect to keep going.
• Even small steps are progress.
• It’s OK to ask for help.
• Be gentle with yourself.
• You can go at your own pace.

Motivating Words for Reaching Your Goals

• The sky is the limit.
• Do your best, and forget the rest.
• The next chapter in your life is going to be amazing.
• You are capable of incredible things.
• Your hard work is going to pay off.
• You’re made for this.
• Every effort counts, no matter how small.
• Keep your eyes on the prize.
• Turn your challenges into fuel.
• You’ve made it through bigger challenges than this.
• Don’t stop now!
• Keep up the momentum; you’ve made so much progress.
• Just a little further.
• Keep leaning into your strengths.
• You have what it takes to succeed.
• You can create the life you want.

Encouraging Words for Anyone in Your Life

Notice how simple and straightforward many of them are. You don’t have to be a poet or a motivational speaker to have an impact.

For a Coworker

If you’re someone who feels awkward about outward encouragement, know that you’re not alone! But think about the times you have been encouraged or complimented about your work. It felt pretty good, right?

Here are some helpful words of encouragement for a coworker, whether you’re congratulating someone on a job well done or trying to get the best out of your team:

• Great work!
• Your hard work is paying off.
• The passion you bring to your work is inspiring.
• You’re a true team player.
• Thank you for going above and beyond on this project.
• The way you handled that task was impressive.
• Your contributions to the team have been really helpful.
• Your commitment to this project is commendable.
• Your knowledge and expertise in this area have been invaluable.
• Your ideas are refreshing, keep them coming!
• Your work is making a huge impact.
• You have a strong work ethic that I really admire.
• Your can-do approach is really motivating the rest of the team.
• Your positivity and optimism are contagious.
• Your attention to detail is flawless, keep it up!
• Your leadership inspires confidence.
• We’re lucky to have you on board.
• I trust your ability to handle this project.
• I have confidence in your decision-making skills.
• I’m seeing a significant improvement in your performance.
• Thanks for working on the feedback I shared. I can see the difference.
• Your professional and personal growth have been significant.
• Don’t be discouraged by setbacks; you can do this!
• Even though the deal fell through, it was not for lack of your effort.
• Your calm and collected approach was really helpful during the crisis.

For a Friend

These are some words of encouragement for a friend. You know them best, so feel free to improvise based on the situation or the kind of encouragement you know they have responded to in the past.

• Good luck! You’re going to do great.
• Break a leg! Go out there and wow them.
• You killed it! That was amazing.
• Congratulations, I’m so happy for you!
• You had the courage to follow your dreams.
• You stuck to your guns, good for you!
• Shine on!
• One step at a time, you’re almost there!
• Don’t worry, you can do this!
• Keep at it, you’ve got this!
• I have no doubt that you’ll be great at this.
• This is tough, but you’re definitely tougher.
• It sucks that you have to go through this, but I know you can do it.
• Things will get better, hang in there!
• Whatever the universe has in store for you is going to be amazing.
• Trust the process, it’ll work out.
• Good vibes coming your way.
• Sending you big hugs and happy thoughts.
• You’re in my thoughts today.
• I’m here for you no matter what.
• Just pick up the phone if you need me.
• Your friendship is important to me.
• You have a heart of gold.
• You’re such a pure soul.
• You make the world a better place.

For a Partner

A romantic partner is usually one of the most important people in our lives, if not the most important. A big part of maintaining a healthy long-term relationship is letting your partner know you’re there for them, whatever they might be going through. If your partner’s love language is words of affirmation, this kind of verbal reinforcement can be even more critical.

These are some words of encouragement for a partner:

• I believe in you, you’ve got this!
• You’re not alone, we’re in this together.
• I’m with you every step of the way.
• I support you no matter what.
• Together, we can do anything.
• I’m grateful to have you by my side.
• I’m so lucky to have you in my life.
• I know I can always count on you.
• You’ve never let me down.
• You’re my rock, and I appreciate your support.
• Thanks for everything you do for me.
• Thank you for sharing that with me.
• You inspire me to be a better person.
• You make my life better in so many ways.
• Your kindness makes the world a better place.
• Your thoughtfulness never fails to amaze me.
• You have such a big heart.
• You’re beautiful inside and out.
• You brighten up my days.
• You make me so happy.
• You make me look forward to each day.
• You’re so special to me.
• You’re such a good listener.
• You make me feel seen and supported.
• I have so much to learn from you.

For a Child

The great thing about giving encouragement to kids is you don’t have to worry about the kind of sheepish self-conscious reactions you may get from an adult. Children are more earnest, more literal, and won’t have nearly as many complicated feelings about receiving words of encouragement. These are some words of encouragement for a child:

• Good job!
• There you go!
• You’re doing great.
• Keep up the good work.
• You’re such a smart cookie.
• You’re so brave.
• I’m so proud of you.
• You’re awesome, you can do this!
• Good luck today!
• Go for it!
• Be good today.
• Make me proud.
• I know you’ll do the right thing.
• Try, try, try!
• You can do anything if you put your mind to it.
• You can be anything you want to be.
• The sky’s the limit.
• I love you no matter what.
• It didn’t go well, but you learnt something important today.
• Mistakes are part of the learning process. Don’t beat yourself up.
• Don’t be afraid to ask questions.
• Tomorrow will be a better day.
• Hang in there!
• Don’t give up, you can do this.
• Do your best, leave the rest.

Reasons to Give Words of Encouragement

Offering positive support through words of encouragement strengthens emotional bonds and helps nurture relationships, says Kristin Wilson, MA, LPC, CCTP, RYT, Chief Experience Officer at Newport Healthcare.

Research suggests that words of encouragement can really pay off:

• One 2024 study found that verbal encouragement was associated with better strength and endurance outcomes during training in a sports science setting. 
• Another study found that it improved enjoyment and mood and lowered tension.
• Researchers have also found that encouraging words can be helpful in mental health settings.

How to Give Encouragement That Helps

We know that sometimes, the right words can be hard to find. You want to show someone your support, but you feel awkward, don’t want to sound disingenuous, and get stuck on what to say. These are some tips that can help you find the right words to encourage someone:

• Listen actively: Listen actively and pay attention to what the person is saying. Understand their concerns and challenges, so you can provide encouragement that specifically addresses their needs.
• Acknowledge their efforts: Recognize the effort someone is putting into a task or goal, regardless of the outcome. Appreciate how hard they’ve worked on something.
• Show them you see them: Instead of giving generic praise, give a specific compliment based on their abilities, strengths, or potential. Make them feel like you see them.
• Be genuine: Authenticity matters. When you encourage someone or praise their efforts, say something you really mean, instead of saying something for the sake of it.
• Focus on the positive: Instead of dwelling on what’s gone wrong, emphasize the bright side and encourage them to stay positive.
• Offer help: If you can, provide practical assistance. Sometimes, just knowing that you’re there for them can be incredibly reassuring.
• Be patient: If the person reacts negatively to your words of encouragement or rejects them, try to be understanding, says Wilson. “Avoid taking it personally or becoming defensive. Be open to discussing their concerns or reasons for the negative reaction and express your willingness to support them in a way that meets their needs.”