The Pros and Cons of Antidepressants

by with No Comment Dating Tips, Guide and Advice


Key Takeaways

  • Committing to taking an antidepressant is a significant decision, so it’s helpful to research your options and talk to your doctor.
  • Antidepressants are safe, effective, and can give you the motivation to make other positive lifestyle changes that can improve your mental health.
  • Be aware that they have side effects, it takes time to see results, and some medications might not be effective.

Antidepressants can be an effective tool for treating mental health conditions, but that doesn’t mean the decision to take them is always easy. You might be worried about side effects, stigma, or whether the medication will actually help you feel better. Some people worry about becoming dependent, while others are concerned that antidepressants might affect their personality or characteristics.

It’s important to talk to your doctor about what’s best for you so you can make an informed choice.

Are Antidepressants Worth It?

If you’re thinking about taking antidepressants and wondering if they’re right for you, you’ll want to get an idea of some of the advantages and disadvantages of taking antidepressants. Ultimately, your best bet is to work with your doctor to determine the right treatments and medications for you.

Antidepressants Are Effective

Whenever a drug is tested for efficacy, it is tested against a placebo. A placebo has no active ingredients but might produce an effect because some patients respond to the suggestion of treatment. Any benefits of medication have to surpass that of the “placebo effect” to be declared effective. 

Antidepressants are proven to be more effective than a placebo with respect to relieving depressive symptoms and shortening the length of a depressive episode.

As these medications have been in use for over 40 years, there is a plethora of information about how they affect the body. Since the 1980s, several large-scale studies have compared these medications against placebo and each other as new ones come on the market. However, very little information is available regarding a hierarchy of efficacy among antidepressants.

The fact that antidepressants are effective is a significant pro. Depression is a terrible condition involving symptoms such as sleep disturbances, hopelessness, difficulty concentrating, lethargy, and suicidal thoughts.

A depressive episode can undermine close relationships, interrupt lives, and increase the likelihood of risky behaviors and poor choices. It can severely limit psychosocial functioning and diminish your quality of life.

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), major depression is the third leading cause of disease burden worldwide. They project that the disease will rank first by 2030.

Remember, the drawbacks of taking an antidepressant must be measured against the drawbacks of remaining depressed. If we only compared the shortcomings of taking a medication to not taking the medication, we would get a biased, incomplete view.

Antidepressants Are Safe

Antidepressants have been proven to be safe. The word safe may feel vague, but for antidepressants, this refers to:

  • The risk of overdose
  • The severity of side effects at the therapeutic (prescribed) dose
  • Whether the antidepressant has any dangerous interactions with other drugs or substances

There are studies demonstrating that antidepressants can even be safe for certain vulnerable populations, such as:

  • Pregnant women
  • Organ transplant recipients
  • Those with active tumors
  • Those who’ve recently had a stroke

Antidepressants Can Help Boost Motivation

Many lifestyle changes could help manage depressive symptoms. Things such as exercise, hobbies, and a balanced diet are known to be beneficial in dealing with mental illness.

The catch is that a depressed person cannot always get motivated enough to initiate these lifestyle adjustments. Antidepressants can provide a running start to the implementation of a healthier way of living.

If someone does exercise their option to take medication, ideally, that will be part of a holistic approach to their wellness that includes self-care and attention to physical health. One doesn’t replace the other.

Antidepressants Have Side Effects

Although antidepressants are safe, they are not free of side effects. A medication can be considered safe even if it has side effects if the side effects are not life-threatening and/or go away when the medication is discontinued. This is largely true for antidepressants.

A few of the more common side effects of antidepressants include:

  • Fatigue
  • Stomach upset
  • Decreased libido

Many people don’t have side effects at all, or the side effects go away as the body adjusts to the medication. An ongoing open dialogue with your prescriber about your experience is a must, so make sure your concerns are heard from the start.

A thoughtful consideration of the side effects of antidepressants can only effectively be done by weighing those side effects against the effect depression has on your life.

Some people who have side effects decide that the benefits they are getting from the medication are worth it. So, they are willing to put up with things such as dry mouth, for example, and make sure they have plenty of water on hand, in exchange for living without depression.

It Takes Time for Antidepressants to Kick In

Antidepressants don’t work right away. Of course, it depends on the medication and the individual, but benefits can start a few days after taking your first dose.

Most will experience some benefits within two to four weeks. A trial of an antidepressant isn’t considered to technically be a failure unless you have felt no improvement after six weeks on a therapeutic dose.

Some medications are introduced at a low dose to allow your body to adjust, and then that dose is slowly titrated upwards. You and your doctor can discuss whether it is realistic to expect benefits before reaching that dosage.

Social Stigma Still Exists

We try to avoid being swayed by stigma when making major life decisions. However, one should be honest with themselves regarding the potential for considerable stigma and self-stigma involved with being on antidepressants and how it may affect their behavior. 

Some individuals might feel so much ambivalence about taking medication that they skip doses or won’t disclose their use of antidepressants to other providers who may need a complete health history.

You also want to be comfortable enough with the idea of taking medications so that you can commit to it for approximately six months, as this is the usual recommendation.

Some Antidepressants May Not Work For You

At times, a medication is either ineffective or doesn’t result in the full desired effect. In this case, you and your doctor can work on a plan that might be a new medication or, in some cases, an additional medication. 

Currently, there is no great way to predict in advance which medication might work for a given individual with just a standard interview. 

However, there appears to be a genetic component to antidepressant response. Some companies offer genetic testing, which may be helpful in determining the best choice for you.

Your prescriber may also inquire about other relatives with a depression history and what medications worked for them to help guide their prescribing.

We Don’t Really Know Why Antidepressants Work

While it is commonly believed by many people that depression is caused by brain chemistry, researchers and doctors now know this is not the case. This theory has been on the decline for years, but a 2022 study demonstrated that there is no reason to believe that depression is caused by chemical imbalances in the brain.

This does not mean, however, that antidepressants don’t help. Instead, it means we don’t fully understand precisely why antidepressants relieve symptoms of depression.

Depression is complex and can have multiple causes. Because of this, no single treatment works for everyone.

Taking an antidepressant might improve your symptoms, but it won’t necessarily change the underlying factors contributing to your depression. For this reason, combining medication with psychotherapy, lifestyle changes, stress management, and other tactics may provide the best relief.


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How Matching Your Workout to Your Personality Can Break Your Exercise Rut

by with No Comment Dating Tips, Guide and Advice


Key Takeaways

  • Feeling bored at barre? Stuck in the strength training room? Maybe the problem isn’t you—look at your workout.
  • If you’re not too sure which exercise type to experiment with, identify your base personality traits.
  • Remember, though, that your personality shouldn’t cage you into a class you don’t enjoy. Use it as inspiration, not a limitation.  

Some weeks, getting yourself to exercise can feel like trying to push a shopping cart with a wonky wheel—it’s slow, frustrating, and makes you want to give up halfway through.

Even the most motivated gymgoers hit a bit of a workout rut from time to time. Whether you’re bored with your current routine or just feel less enthusiastic about exercising in general, it could help to shake up your routine. 

“If someone feels stuck in a workout rut, it’s often not a motivation issue; it’s a mismatch between their psychological preferences and the type of exercise they’re doing,” says Mark Kovacs, PhD, a human performance scientist and a fellow of the American College of Sports Medicine (ACSM). 

One approach that might work? Looking for an exercise routine that works well with your personality. 

What Is the Relationship Between Exercise and Personality?

Just like some people love spreadsheets and others love sketchbooks, our exercise preferences are shaped by who we are. 

“Your personality can tell you which types of exercise have the highest chances of being enjoyable to you,” says Domenic Angelino, an expert personal trainer and exercise scientist. “It’ll also provide you with information about ways in which you can approach your health and fitness overall to increase your odds of success.”

Research suggests that personality traits can influence not only the workouts we gravitate toward but also how well we stick to them. A recent Frontiers in Psychology study found that people were more likely to enjoy and maintain exercise habits when their workout style aligned with their personality traits.

The “Big Five” Personality Traits

The research used the “Big Five” personality traits model, which is based on the idea that there are five major personality trait domains:

According to this study, extroverts tended to enjoy group-based, high-energy workouts—think dance classes, team sports, or CrossFit. On the other hand, neurotic individuals—who may be prone to anxiety—preferred private classes with short breaks.  

Benefits of Matching Workouts to Your Personality

If your workout matches your personality, you’re more likely to enjoy it. And if you enjoy your workouts, you’re more likely to do them regularly.  

This might sound obvious, but Kovacs says that many people try to engage in exercise formats that don’t match their preferences and personality. This causes your motivation to drop quickly, which means you’re less likely to commit to it. 

“When coaching individuals, I often say: ‘Your workout shouldn’t fight your personality… it should reflect it,’” Kovacs says. “When your workout taps into your intrinsic temperament, you’re far more likely to stick with it,” he explains. 

Your workout shouldn’t fight your personality… it should reflect it.

According to Kovacs, matching your workout to your personality can:

  • Boost your mood 
  • Increase motivation
  • Reduce resistance to movement
  • Improve your personal enjoyment of the class 

The Frontiers study mentioned above found that, when you enjoy exercise, it’s particularly effective at relieving stress. This is especially the case for people who score high in neuroticism—that is, people who are more prone to anxiety. 

How to Tailor Your Workouts to Your Personality

Not sure what your fitness personality is? Start with some self-reflection.

Ask yourself:

  • Do I gain energy from being around others, or from being alone?
  • Do I thrive with structure and planning, or do I prefer spontaneity?
  • Do I want workouts to challenge my body, calm my mind, or both?
  • Do I like learning new things or sticking with what I know?

Once you’ve got a sense of your style, try one of these personalized fitness matches:

If You’re an Extrovert…

Try: Zumba, bootcamps, HIIT classes, group cycling, team sports

“If you’re extroverted, it’s worthwhile to explore various types of social exercise,” Angelino says. He suggests joining a group exercise class or trying team sports. 

You could also try finding a workout buddy. “Research has previously supported that ideal workout partners are broadly around your level of fitness, but slightly more fit than you currently are,” he says.

If You’re an Introvert…

Try: Solo running, yoga, Pilates, home workouts, swimming

Solo workouts can be a great way to have some alone time, which may make exercise more enjoyable for you. Quiet, focused environments might feel more relaxing and restorative.

If You’re Highly Conscientious…

Try: Weight training programs, structured classes, apps that track progress, anything that involves fitness wearables

Angelino says that structured, planned workouts could be more enjoyable for you. “Map out and write down the exact weights you’ll use in each session as well as any other details that would allow you to follow a rigid plan all the way through,” he says.

Fitness wearables may also help you stay focused and motivated, especially if you enjoy tracking your progress and getting feedback. 

If You’re Creative or Open-Minded…

Try: Dance, rock climbing, martial arts, animal flow

“These individuals often enjoy novelty and experimentation,” Kovacs says. He suggests trying fun and unusual types of exercise, or even gamifying your movement through VR-based workouts.   

Angelino notes that people who score high in openness and agreeableness might benefit from variety. “You might find you do well with workouts that regularly vary the exercises you do,” he explains. “It’s a way to keep things interesting and engaging, which can help you stick to exercise.

If You Score Low in Openness and Agreeableness… 

Try: Consistent, structured workout plans

“If you score low in openness and agreeableness, then changing up exercises all the time might not be the best call for you,” Angelino explains. “You won’t like every exercise out there, and switching things up all the time increases the odds that you’ll do something that doesn’t gel well with you.”

For this reason, you might find it better to stick to what you know and make small, gradual changes to your routine when necessary. 

If You’re Highly Sensitive or Prone to Anxiety…

Gentle, non-competitive movement can soothe your nervous system. The Frontiers study found that people who score high in neuroticism—which might be your case if you’re prone to anxiety—prefer private exercise in short bursts of time. 

Other Things to Consider

While your personality can offer helpful clues, it’s not the only thing you should consider when trying a new exercise.

“The most important thing is to figure out what you can actually stick to,” Angelino says. And personality isn’t the only factor that affects how well you can stick to an exercise plan. 

Angelino says you should also ask yourself practical questions like:

  • How long will it take you to get to your workout location? 
  • Are the workouts going to be too long for you to stick with on days that you’re busy? 
  • Are you committing to more days per week than you can consistently hit, even on your worst weeks? 

When a workout plan is easy to implement practically, it’ll be easier to stick to. “Exercise is hard,” Angelino says. “Create a system that makes it easy for future-you to say yes to working out, no matter what state your body and mind are in.”

“Should I Push Myself Outside My Comfort Zone?”

Think of personality as a compass, not a rulebook. It could help you figure out which types of exercise you’ll enjoy, but it shouldn’t cage you in. 

Don’t think, “Well, I’m an anxious and self-conscious person, so I shouldn’t try that pole dancing class even though I really want to.”  Other factors—like your personal interests, level of curiosity, and even your social circle—might affect whether you’re interested in a certain type of exercise or not. 

You might find it helpful to stretch yourself—literally and metaphorically. Some people find meaning in pushing themselves out of their comfort zone, Angelino says.  

“Just because something feels unfamiliar doesn’t mean you’re not capable of doing it,” Kovacs says. “I’ve seen introverts thrive in group classes once they realize no one’s actually watching them. And I’ve coached anxious athletes who learned to love intense workouts once they reframed it as controlled challenge, not chaos.”


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Are You Settling or Asking for Too Much?

by with No Comment Dating Tips, Guide and Advice


Bare minimum: Carries your bags when you’re tired. Buys you food when you’re sick. Opens doors for you.
Princess treatment: Covers your rent. Writes love letters. Pays for beauty treatments. 

In the age of hot social media takes, the expectations for what I need and what I deserve have never been blurrier or more aspirational. “These trends are funny on the surface, but underneath they reflect deeply ingrained beliefs about what we’re allowed to ask for. And that’s where the real work begins,” says licensed clinical psychologist Nusha Nouhi, PhD.

So, what is the bare minimum in a relationship today? What does it actually mean to receive the so-called “princess treatment,” and when are those needs being confused for entitlement?

What Is The Bare Minimum? 

“The bare minimum is the least amount of effort a person is willing to put in when it comes to a relationship,” says Marisa T. Cohen, PhD, LMFT, a relationship expert at the dating app Hily. It’s the baseline expectations for how you want to be treated in your day-to-day. 

As with most things in a relationship, these ever-shifting standards exist on a spectrum. The bare minimum actions that feel acceptable for your unique relationship can vary widely depending on your individual needs, attachment style, and what you’ve been conditioned to settle for. 

These trends are funny on the surface, but underneath they reflect deeply ingrained beliefs about what we’re allowed to ask for. And that’s where the real work begins.

But generally, the bare minimum consists of the everyday fundamental ingredients (mutual care, decency, and respect) needed to build a relationship. 

What Can the Bare Minimum Look Like in a Healthy Relationship? 

Here’s what the bare minimum might look like: 

  • Healthy and clear communication 
  • Bringing curiosity and understanding into the relationship, especially into their different perspectives 
  • Integrating them into your life (e.g., telling them about what’s going on for you and valuing their input) 
  • Showing care with consistent actions, not just words 
  • Respecting their time, space, and energy
  • Accepting them for their authentic self, not as a project to fix 
  • Being their pillar (e.g., remembering their birthday, asking how work projects went)
  • Checking in with your partner often to stay emotionally aligned 

If it’s too bare minimum—meaning there’s incoherence with avoidance, poor conflict resolution, low emotional availability, and little to no intentionality—Cohen notes the behavior may result in long-term dissatisfaction and create emotional distance between partners. The unspoken message being sent is that you’re not worth my time, effort, or care. 

“If you’re receiving the bare minimum, you may adjust your needs downward to avoid the dissonance experienced between what you want and what you’re getting,” Cohen says.

Rebecca, 44, struggled with this in her marriage. “I was starved for love and affection as a child, and I spent years in a relationship living off the bare minimum. I didn’t think I deserved to be fully seen and got used to taking care of everything myself.” Eventually, she got pushed to her limits and gave beyond her capacity, noting the imbalance led to resentment, disconnection, and eventually divorce. 

What Is the Princess Treatment?  

“The princess treatment involves going above and beyond to express affection and care,” Cohen defines. Often, the term gets reduced to the version where you’re spoiling your partner with fancy dinners, expensive gifts, and lavish vacations. If those expectations become the priority, that might be more about promoting materialism than about increasing genuine intimacy. 

To be clear, there’s nothing wrong with being treated well and knowing what you uniquely deserve. You can still want little surprises once in a while and to feel taken care of. The problem is, Nuohi notes, when princess treatment behaviors are associated primarily with unrealistic perfectionism and surface-level checklists like looks, status, and minor habits, rather than how aligned you feel in your connection with each other.

If someone is overly focused on the princess treatment for the sake of being treated well, Cohen points out that the person may be more focused on their wants than the good of the partnership. “For successful partnerships, both people must put time, effort, and care into the relationship as well as meet the needs of the other.”

What Can the Princess Treatment Look Like in a Healthy Relationship? 

When you strip the big gestures away, the heart of princess treatment is about feeling cherished. It’s taking the time to maintain reciprocal attunement. Examples include anticipating needs, following through on what makes them feel valued, turning routine moments into something meaningful, and occasionally exceeding their day-to-day expectations. There’s no sense of obligation or force. It’s taking the extra time, whenever you have the time, to show them they’re worth the effort. 

Here’s what the princess treatment might look like in practice: 

  • Asking your partner about their passions and joining them, even if it’s not your thing 
  • Involving them in your life with your community, and asking for their input on what’s going on
  • Showing love through small acts (e.g., making their favorite snack when they’re busy, taking on a chore they don’t have time for)
  • Being thoughtful about their needs for space (e.g., helping them draw a bubble bath after a long week, not pressuring them to attend social events when they need rest) 
  • Thoughtful gestures that show you pay attention (e.g., grabbing their favorite snack when you’re at the store, planning their birthday, small just-because gifts, buying flowers)
  • Being curious about their interior world and ensuring you’re contributing to their satisfaction, fulfillment, and happiness whenever you’re able 
  • Proactively taking the time for thoughtful conflict resolution and treating your partner with care, even in disagreements, tough moments, and difficult conversations 

“When care comes from genuine respect and intention, it doesn’t feel transactional—it feels connective,” Nuohi says. “Things can start to feel transactional if one person is overgiving or if there’s an unspoken (or sometimes spoken) expectation of return.”

Redefining What Works For Our Relationship 

The latest internet trend has girlfriends pointing a hose at their boyfriends as they run through a checklist of bare minimum vs. princess treatment questions. Get it wrong, and you get blasted with water. Get it right, you stay dry. The comment sections of the videos are lit up with passionate discussions about what these categories really mean, and what’s right and wrong for them. 

For some people, it might feel easier to send our partner the video than to explain why it resonates. I get it! Naming our needs can feel vulnerable. What the videos don’t show is nuance, and the truth is that there is no universal right or wrong answer to functioning in a relationship. That’s where communication comes in. 

As Nuohi explains, a lot of us were raised–explicitly or not–to believe that having needs makes us unlovable, demanding, or a burden. This conditioning leaves people unsure how to even name their needs without apologizing or minimizing them. But as Nuohi says, “Having needs doesn’t make you high maintenance, it makes you human. The goal isn’t to eliminate needs; it’s to build relationships where they can be expressed safely and met willingly.” 

Figuring Out Your Own Relationship Standards 

As a love and relationship coach, I’ve noticed my clients aren’t settling. They’re not simply looking for someone to split the rent or raise a family with. They’re seeking thoughtful relationships that help them grow, self-actualize, and improve their overall life happiness. And they’re doing the work to be the type of healthy person who can attract a healthy partner. 

Kadir, 29, told me it took years to understand why he kept attracting ‘princess treatment’ girlfriends. He would find it impossible to meet their unrealistic standards and eventually burn out. “It dawned on me that I didn’t know how to set healthy expectations. The goalposts for what they wanted kept moving. I had to understand who I was and then overcome the fear of asking for what I needed. It required talking to my partner, being honest, realistic, and working together to set the right expectations.”

To do this work, it starts with the nervous system. “Your nervous system remembers what you’ve experienced, even when you’re convinced yourself you’ve moved on,” Nuohi says. “When you regulate your nervous system and do the repair work, we begin to expect and accept relationships that are genuinely nourishing.”  

As the internal recalibration unfolds, Nuohi encourages tuning into your gut, especially when you’ve been taught to override it to seem low-maintenance or expect big gestures as a way to avoid vulnerability. Learning to trust your inner signals will guide you to ask for what you truly need without shrinking or overcompensating, and to recognize when care is building intimacy versus performing intimacy. 

“Reassess them at each stage: from swiping during online dating, early conversations, after a few dates, when determining exclusivity, and beyond. That kind of conscious awareness helps you stay grounded in what matters most,” she says. “The communication does not stop when you get exclusive or serious- it deepens.” Nuohi encourages couples to check in often about lifestyles, values, needs, and standards. 

Keep in Mind

There’s always going to be some internet trend trying to define our relationships. However, engaging in debates like bare minimum vs. princess treatment behavior serves as a fun opportunity to explore what actually works for us. 

When we define what these concepts mean personally, we can name our needs and feel safe sharing them with our partner. That’s the kind of conversation worth having. No hose needed.


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