6 Ways Your Partner Might Be Patronizing You

by with No Comment Dating Tips, Guide and Advice


Do you ever have the feeling that someone is talking down to you, even if you can’t put your finger on exactly why? It might be that they’re explaining something a little *too* simply, or they keep praising you for doing basic things in a way that makes you feel like a child.

What they are doing in these situations is patronizing you. This behavior can range from subtle to obvious, but in each case, it’s about talking down to you in a way to make you seem inept, powerless, immature, or just plain stupid.

Jump to Key Takeaways.

What Does Patronizing Mean, Exactly?

Patronizing behavior is any form of talking down to someone from the position of projected authority. You’ve likely heard the term mansplaining—in which a man explains something to a person of another gender that’s obvious or that they already know and might even have expertise in. This mainstream term (and, unfortunately, behavior) is a form of patronizing someone.

“It can also mean to treat someone as if they are inferior, not capable of making their own decisions, or not worthy of respect,” says Kalley Hartman, a licensed marriage and family therapist and the clinical director at Ocean Recovery.

Kalley Hartman, LMFT

“[It] implies that the person being spoken to is in some way less knowledgeable, competent, or capable than the speaker.”

— Kalley Hartman, LMFT

A clear example of this: A woman working in software development is told by her boyfriend, who doesn’t work or dabble in tech, about which coding languages are the “best” to help her with her job.

Patronizing behavior can cause a relationship to be unhealthy or even cause it to end. It can happen from any gender toward any gender and include things such as dismissing a partner’s work as “very important for some people,” undervaluing their opinions about specific items, and interrupting their points to make a “better” one.  

Does Patronizing Mean Condescending?

Being patronizing differs slightly from condescending in that it’s presented with a false front of kindness. Condescending behavior is a somewhat more outright air of superiority. 

Signs You’re Dealing With a Patronizing Partner 

Patronizing behavior can range from subtle to in your face. It can also be hard to determine from inside a relationship. To give you a better idea of what to look for, here are different ways your partner may patronize you. 

They Interrupt You

Everyone is guilty of interrupting their partner occasionally with an eager thought or story. But, a patronizing person will make this into a habit, often interjecting with their opinion on the topic you’re discussing, says Nirmala Bijraj, LMHC, NCC, a relationship and communication therapist.

Think about it: When was the last time you could tell a complete story or express a thought, and it was acknowledged instead of steamrolled with your partner’s point of view? If a recent time doesn’t come to mind, they’re likely patronizing. 

They Undervalue You

A clear sign of a patronizing partner is when they ignore your opinions or experience and assume they couldn’t add anything to a discussion or decision, says Bijraj.

Maybe you’re planning a trip to a city you used to live in. You try to explain things about the culture or even get around the place, but your partner keeps telling you how so-and-so said their cousin (who went a decade ago for a weekend) said this, so you should follow that. This is an extreme example, but one that shows the core of many issues on a larger scale. 

They Assume There’s a Lot You Don’t Know

Your partner doesn’t know everything about you. No one knows everything, but they shouldn’t assume you know nothing.

“It can be patronizing if they automatically assume you don’t know about something and start to speak to you as if you were a child without checking in with your base knowledge first,” says Lauren Consul, JD, a licensed marriage & family therapist.

You’re partners, and you want to speak to each other as if you were equals exploring an idea together.

—
LAUREN CONSUL, JD, LMFT

It’s not hard to kindly ask, ‘Do you know about X?’ or trust you’ll speak up if you’re unsure about something. 

They Always “Know Best” 

Sure, there are some things your partner is likely to know better than you, and vice versa. There are also lots of things you can figure out or come to a conclusion on without being told you’re wrong.

“If they’re always telling you ways you can ‘do things better,’ whether it’s a household thing, a work assignment, or how to communicate to a coworker or family member, they believe their way is the best,” says Bijraj. 

They Belittle You While Explaining Things

It’s great when your partner can show you something new that you want to learn more about. It’s not great when they act like you’re stupid for not knowing it in the first place.

“It can cross into patronizing if they belittle or demean you for not knowing as much or if they speak in a condescending manner while talking to you,” says Consul. They aren’t better than you because they know how to clean the oven. 

They Try To Control Everything

You are a fully capable human, and if you need help with something, you can ask. While it’s nice for your partner to assist you with different things, context is very important.

“It’s the intent that matters,” says Consul. “If they are stepping in because they assume you can’t do it or can’t do it ‘right.’ Or if they make comments about you being incapable or dumb, then that’s stepping into patronizing territory.”

How to Deal With Patronizing Behavior 

The first step to take is to discuss this with your partner. “If you are on the receiving end of patronizing behavior, it’s important to communicate your feelings in a respectful and assertive way,” says Hartman. “Make sure to explain why the behavior is unwelcome so that your partner can better understand how their actions affect you.”

Consul recommends using “I” statements to emphasize how their actions and words make you feel, and that you want to feel like you’re teammates. This shifts the focus to you getting what you need rather than them changing something they’ve done wrong. 

It’s essential to not only end these interactions but to understand what’s fueling them. Consul recommends asking, ‘Is there some unresolved stuff your partner needs to address from their past? Is your partner having feelings about something but hasn’t been able to communicate them?’ A couples therapist or individual therapist can help determine this and ensure everyone feels validated and respected in the relationship. 

Bijraj stresses that these behaviors have likely existed for some time and aren’t likely to disappear completely overnight, no matter how committed your partner is to changing them. 

In some cases, a person will not want to change and “may think your feelings are not valid and even try to gaslight you,” says Bijraj. In these instances, it’s critical to keep your feelings and frustrations at the forefront of your mind and not let them ignore your boundaries. 

You can discuss healthy relationships and dating abuse further by contacting Love Is Respect at any time or day. Reach them by phone at (866) 331-9474 or by text at 22522.

Key Takeaways

  • Patronizing behavior includes talking down to someone as if you are in a position of authority.
  • In relationships, signs include interrupting, belittling, and assuming that you know better than the other person.
  • It’s important to respectfully but assertively tell your partner how the behavior affects you.

Source link

10 Types of Discrimination and How to Protect Yourself

by with No Comment Dating Tips, Guide and Advice


Discrimination is defined as prejudiced, unfair, or unequal treatment of people based on their personal characteristics such as race, ethnicity, religion, disability, age, nation of origin, or gender (gender identity, sexual orientation, pregnancy).

Discrimination is a reality that many people face in different areas of their lives every day. In 2017, the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) reported more than 80,000 workplace discrimination complaints. Of these complaints, 30% were based on sex, 34% on race, and 22% on age.

This unfair and unequal treatment can impact people’s access to equitable education, employment, compensation, housing, and healthcare. Discrimination is considered a social determinant of health; it is part of a person’s social environment that can affect other factors, including housing, education, and employment, that affect health and well-being.

While there are laws in place that protect people from discrimination in employment and housing, prejudice and unfair treatment still frequently occur. Knowing how to recognize discrimination and understanding your rights can help you decide how to handle it if you experience discriminatory treatment.

Protections Against Discrimination

Learning more about your rights can also help you better recognize discrimination and know how to respond when you encounter it. Some laws are in place that protect people from discrimination in areas such as housing and employment, including:

1. Age Discrimination

Age discrimination, sometimes referred to as ageism, involves being treated unfairly based on your age. For example, age discrimination may originate from the idea that older adults are less willing to accept change or learn new skills, which can lead to an unwillingness to train, hire and promote older workers.

While it is often applied to discrimination against older adults, it can also involve bias against people of all ages.

Examples of ageism include being fired, not being hired, not getting promoted, not receiving equitable training, or not getting job assignments because of your age. This might involve being fired in favor of hiring a younger candidate or not being promoted because an employer believes you are too young.

How to Handle It

Age-based discrimination is illegal in some instances. The Age Discrimination in Employment Act (ADEA) protects job applicants and employees over the age of 40 from being discriminated against based on their age. It protects workers against discrimination in hiring, promotion, termination, compensation, job training, or other conditions and privileges of employment. Unfortunately, workers under the age of 40 are not protected by ADEA.

If you have experienced employment discrimination due to age, you can file a claim with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission by visiting their website.

The Age Discrimination Act of 1975 forbids age-based discrimination in programs and activities that receive financial assistance from the federal government, such as housing programs and educational institutions. It covers discrimination against people of all ages and is enforced by the Civil Rights Center.

2. Disability Discrimination

Disability discrimination involves unfair or biased treatment of individuals due to their disability. Title I and V of the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) protect against disability discrimination in employment, public accommodations, access to programs and services, and communications. 

Disabilities that qualify for ADA protection include depression, cancer, schizophrenia, intellectual disability, epilepsy, diabetes, and a host of other conditions. However, people may still be protected even if they don’t have a formal diagnosis if their condition limits one or more major life areas or activities.

Discrimination can be direct, such as not hiring someone because of a chronic illness, or indirect, such as having job requirements that exclude people with disabilities. It can also involve harassment, victimization, and failing to provide reasonable accommodations.

How to Handle It

If you have experienced disability discrimination, you can file an ADA complaint with the Civil Rights Division of the Department of Justice. Your complaint may be referred to the ADA Mediation Program or to a federal agency that will handle specific issues related to your complaint. In some cases, you may be contacted for further information, or the Department of Justice may open an investigation into your complaint.

3. Sexual Orientation

Sexual orientation discrimination refers to discriminatory treatment based on a person’s sexual orientation. This discrimination may involve the denial of rights and services related to employment and housing. It can also involve verbal or physical harassment and other displays of prejudice.

Examples of this type of discrimination include refusing to hire someone because they are gay or refusing to rent to someone based on their sexual orientation or gender identity. It can also involve harassment based on sexual orientation or gender identity that creates a hostile work environment.

An example of this would include repeatedly and intentionally using the wrong pronouns or deadnaming a transgender employee.

How to Handle It

Sexual orientation is covered under Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which provides employment protections against discrimination based on a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity. It prohibits discrimination that affects any aspect of employment, including hiring, job assignments, pay, training, promotions, layoffs, and any other benefit or condition of employment.

If you have experienced workplace discrimination based on your sexual orientation or gender identity, you can contact the EEOC at 1-800-669-4000 to file a charge.

4. Status as a Parent

Discrimination can also occur based on a parental status, or whether or not someone is a parent. It includes having children, but it also applies to not having children. For those who are parents, it includes biological parents, step-parents, adoptive parents, foster parents, custodians of a legal ward, or in loco parentitis.

In loco parentitis refers to a responsible adult who acts in place of a parent, such as an adult who is caring for their grandchild, their partner’s child, or a relative’s child.

Examples of discrimination based on status as a parent might include:

  • Firing someone for being pregnant
  • Reducing someone’s hours because they are a parent
  • Expecting childless employees to work longer hours
  • Denying promotions to people because they have children
  • Excluding people from activities based on their parental status
  • Transferring someone to a different job because they had a baby
  • Making disparaging comments about someone’s status as a parent

How to Handle It

An executive order prohibiting discrimination based on parental status in federal employment was signed in 2000.

If you have experienced such discrimination, keep a record of when the event occurred and notify the EEOC. You may then be asked to participate in dispute resolution with the employer or provide more information if the EEO opens a formal investigation.

Unfortunately, there is no federal law protecting people against parental status discrimination in the private sector. Some states, such as New York, provide protections for parents in the workplace. Some aspects of parental status may also be protected by the Pregnancy Discrimination Act of 1978 and the Family and Medical Leave Act.

5. Religious Discrimination

Religious discrimination is treating someone differently or unfairly based on their religious beliefs and practices. It can involve unfavorable attitudes or behaviors directed at people who belong to major world religions such as Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Hinduism, or Buddhism. It can also involve discrimination against people with other deeply held religious, moral, and ethical beliefs, including those who do not have religious beliefs.

Examples of religious discrimination can involve mocking someone’s religious practices, harassment that creates a hostile work environment, and segregating them from others due to their religion.

How to Handle It

Religious discrimination in hiring, firing, and other aspects of employment is prohibited by the Civil Rights Act of 1964. Employers must provide reasonable accommodations for religious practices unless it presents an undue burden. This also protects people who are part of non-traditional religions and atheists.

If you have experienced religious discrimination in the workplace, you can file a charge online with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. In the private sector, you must file a claim within 180 days of the incident. If you work for the federal government, you must contact an EEO counselor within 45 days.

6. National Origin

Discrimination based on national origin involves prejudiced treatment due to a person’s place of birth, culture, ancestry, or linguistic characteristics.

Examples of this type of discrimination include denying someone employment because of their accent or harassing them because of their nationality.

Teasing or offhand remarks would qualify as discrimination if they create a hostile work environment.

How to Handle It

National origin discrimination in the workplace is prohibited by Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. You can file a report with the EEOC if you have experienced workplace discrimination because of your national origin.

7. Pregnancy

Pregnancy discrimination involves unfair treatment of pregnant people in the workplace. It can involve treating people unfavorably because of pregnancy, childbirth, or a related medical condition.

Examples can include:

  • Not hiring people because they are pregnant
  • Firing people for being pregnant
  • Denying promotions to pregnant people
  • Not providing training, benefits, assignments, or other conditions of employment to pregnant individuals

While there are legal protections against this type of discrimination, many workers still experience denied accommodations, forced leave, or job loss during or after a pregnancy.

How to Handle It

Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and the Pregnancy Discrimination Act of 1978 protects employees against discrimination based on pregnancy, childbirth, and medical conditions related to pregnancy and childbirth.

Such protections apply to current pregnancy, past pregnancy, potential pregnancy, conditions related to pregnancy, lactation/breastfeeding, abortion, and birth control.

Pregnant people are also protected by the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) if they develop a disability or condition resulting from pregnancy, such as gestational diabetes.

If you have experienced employment discrimination as a result of pregnancy or a pregnancy-related disability, you can file a charge with the EEOC.

8. Sexual Harassment

Sexual harassment involves unwanted sexual advances. Examples can include comments, touches, gestures, written communications, or other unwanted advances. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) notes two kinds of sexual harassment: quid pro quo and hostile work environment.

Quid pro quo harassment involves a person in a position of power offering employment rewards, such as promotions or raises, in exchange for sexual favors. A hostile work environment involves sexual harassment, making it difficult and uncomfortable for employees to perform.

How to Handle It

Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 also prohibits sexual discrimination, and you can file a charge with the EEOC office.

9. Race, Color, and Sex

Discrimination can also occur based on a person’s race, color, or sex. The Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 also prohibits such discrimination.

Examples can include:

  • Treating people differently in the workplace due to their sex
  • Refusing to hire someone because of their race
  • Harassing or mistreating people because of the pigment of their skin

People may face unfair treatment in housing, hiring, education, and other areas based on their race or skin tone. It demonstrates how systemic biases continue to affect opportunities for people of color.

Sex-based discrimination limits people’s potential and reinforces outdated gender stereotypes. Wage gaps and unequal access to leadership positions are two examples of how sex discrimination holds people back.

How to Handle It

If you have experienced discrimination due to your race, color, or sex, you can file a complaint with the EEOC office.

10. Reprisal / Retaliation

People can also face additional discrimination after reporting discrimination or participating in an investigation. Retaliation and reprisal often take the form of hostile treatment, demotions, and dismissals.

Employment laws protect workers from discrimination for filing a complaint or participating in the equal employment opportunity process. Examples of reprisal and retaliation include:

  • Firing or demoting workers who have participated in an EEOC investigation
  • Denying promotions, benefits, or other conditions of employment to workers who have filed complaints
  • Bullying, threatening, harassing, or reprimanding employees who have opposed unfair employment practices

The EEOC notes that retaliation is the most frequently reported form of discrimination in the federal sector.

How to Handle It

If you have been subjected to retaliation or reprisal for filing a complaint, participating in the EEO process, or opposing discrimination in the workplace, you must file a charge with the EEOC within 180 days if you are working in the private sector or contact an EEOC counselor if you are a federal employee.

What Happens After You File a Complaint

After filing a complaint of employment discrimination based on age, disability, sexual orientation, race, pregnancy, or another type of discrimination, the EEOC will investigate. They may offer mediation, which may result in your employer taking steps to correct the situation. Or you may opt to file a lawsuit for unlawful discrimination. In some cases, the EEOC may take legal action on your behalf. 

How to Cope With Discrimination

There are laws intended to combat discrimination in the workplace and in housing, but discrimination often takes more subtle and insidious forms in everyday interactions. Examples can include microaggressions (making rude or invalidating comments), being treated with disrespect, being ignored, or getting poorer service.

Moreover, the stigma associated with various mental health conditions (using insensitive terms or labels or denying someone educational/housing/employment opportunities on the basis of a mental illness) can also be forms of discrimination.

Outside of federal, state, and local laws that prohibit discrimination based on an individual’s personal characteristics, there are other things steps you can take.

Explore Workplace Options

Learn more about the options for reporting and addressing discrimination in your workplace. This might include reporting the discrimination to human resources and having discussions with trusted supervisors.

Seek Support

Discrimination can harm self-esteem, particularly when people start to internalize the negative attitudes they encounter. Surrounding yourself with supportive people can help alleviate some of the detrimental effects of discrimination, validate your experiences, and remind you of your value.

You might also consider joining advocacy groups that help raise awareness of discrimination and support people who have experienced it. It can be a great way to talk to other people who have had similar experiences and connect with a supportive network that can offer advice and information.

Manage Stress Levels

Encountering discrimination is stressful and can trigger anger, sadness, and anxiety. Stress leads to a range of physical, emotional, and behavioral responses, including negative emotions and increased blood pressure.

Because stress has significant health implications, it is essential to find ways to manage these feelings when they happen.

Experiment with different stress management techniques to determine what works best for you. Some that you might find helpful include deep breathing, yoga, meditation, exercise, aromatherapy, or guided imagery. 

Talk to a Professional

Facing discrimination can also increase your risk of mental health problems such as anxiety and depression. Talking to a mental health professional can also help you cope with the effects of discrimination.

You can use the American Psychological Association (APA) Psychologist Locator tool to find licensed psychologists in your area who can help you cope with discrimination-related issues. You might also consider the Inclusive Therapists Directory to find BIPOC and LGBTQ+ mental health providers.


Source link

Signs You Have an Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment Style

by with No Comment Dating Tips, Guide and Advice

Everyone experiences anxiety about their relationships from time to time, but for people with an anxious preoccupied attachment style, these feelings are often intense and persistent. Anxious preoccupied attachment, also sometimes known simply as preoccupied attachment or anxious attachment, manifests as high anxiety about the relationships and connections in our lives.

Characteristics of an anxious preoccupied attachment include poor self-worth, a constant need for reassurance, excessive dependence on relationships, fear of rejection and abandonment, problems trusting partners, and hypersensitivity to the moods of others.

Jump to Key Takeaways.

Attachment styles refer to the emotions and behaviors an individual has around the significant relationships in their lives. We form an attachment style as young children, though these styles can change over time in response to life experiences, trauma, and treatment.

Signs to Watch For

Individuals with an anxious preoccupied attachment style tend to have low self-esteem and a negative view of themselves. They tend to see others as superior to them, and as such, they may tend to be reliant and dependent in relationships.

It is important to remember that, if you have a preoccupied attachment style, this does not mean that you are inferior to others. Instead, it means that you feel that you are inferior.

If you have an anxious preoccupied attachment style, you might have a strong need for close relationships, fear of abandonment and rejection, and difficulty trusting others. You might be overly in tune with others’ emotions and behaviors, and you may tend to jump to conclusions about your partner’s mood due to these fears.

If a child has an anxious preoccupied attachment style, they will likely cling to their parent or caregiver and can exhibit symptoms of separation anxiety. They may become very upset when the parent leaves them with another caretaker and might express fear that the parent will not return. Upon the parent’s return, they may immediately run to the parent for comfort.

Related Conditions

Although anxious preoccupied attachment is not an official diagnosis in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), it can manifest as a symptom of some diagnoses, including:

  • Borderline personality disorder (BPD): Individuals with BPD experience frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment, which is a component of the anxious preoccupied attachment style.
  • Social anxiety disorder (social phobia): People diagnosed with social anxiety disorder have intense anxiety that others are judging them or think negatively of them and may experience preoccupied attachment.
  • Substance use disorders (SUDs): Research has shown that some individuals with SUDs can display a preoccupied attachment style.

It’s important to remember that attachment styles don’t definitively predict that an individual will develop a specific diagnosis. However, identifying your attachment style can provide valuable insights about how you approach relationships and can aid in developing an appropriate treatment plan.

What Causes Anxious Preoccupied Attachment?

People don’t come into the world anxious about love; it’s something they learn based on experiences as children and adults. That doesn’t mean that genetics doesn’t also play a role in shaping these attachment styles. While anxious preoccupied attachment often traces back to our earliest relationships with our caregivers, genes and family history can shape personality and interactions with caregivers.

Anxious preoccupied attachment is often influenced by a number of different factors. Some causes that can play a role include:

Genetics

As with most aspects of our mental health, attachment styles can be influenced by genetics. However, early childhood experiences and interactions with caregivers play a major role in how attachment styles develop.

One study found that 45% of the variability in anxious attachment styles may be linked to genetic causes. However, the exact mechanisms for this are not clear.

Stress and Trauma

Stressful or traumatic events can cause a child to develop an anxious preoccupied attachment style. If an infant experiences inconsistent responses from the caregiver, they will develop uncertainty and anxiety about whether their needs will be met.

If a parent is available and nurturing at times but unavailable at other times, this can bring about feelings of insecurity in the child because the child cannot understand or predict the parent’s behavior.

Parenting Behaviors

A child can also develop a preoccupied attachment style if parents are overprotective. The child can pick up on the parent’s anxiety and can become fearful that they are unsafe and need strong protection to avoid being harmed.

If an infant experiences inconsistent responses from the caregiver, they will develop uncertainty and anxiety about whether their needs will be met. If a parent is available and nurturing at times but unavailable at other times, this can bring about feelings of insecurity in the child because the child cannot understand or predict the parent’s behavior.

Adult Relationships

In adulthood, a person can develop traits of this attachment style if they experience this inconsistency from a romantic partner or friend. Partners who display inconsistent affection or emotionally abusive behaviors can cause insecurity and anxiety around attachment.

For instance, if you are consistently told that you are unintelligent, incompetent, and incapable by your partner, you may start to believe these things about yourself. These beliefs can cause you to cling to your partner and rely on them for protection and care that you do not feel you can provide yourself.

Can It Be Treated?

It’s common for people with an anxious preoccupied attachment style to struggle with relationships, emotions, and mental health as a result of their attachment style. However, research has shown that our attachment style can change throughout our lives in response to experiences and treatment.

If an individual with this attachment style has a diagnosable mental health condition, they can benefit from therapy services and other evidence-based treatments for that diagnosis. Attachment therapies can specifically address maladaptive attachment styles.

Since attachment styles impact relationships, someone with a preoccupied attachment style who is in a long-term relationship can benefit from couples therapy to work on identifying their emotions and communicating with their partner in healthy ways.

Children and teens can benefit from family therapy to create a healthier attachment to caregivers and other family members. Parent-child interaction therapy is a specific type of family therapy that promotes healthy attachment.

How to Cope

Living with an anxious preoccupied attachment style can feel like you are always bracing for impact. You’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop, fearing that the next text or phone call might be the one that means the end of your relationship.

The good news is that you don’t have to live this way. This attachment style might be deeply rooted, but identifying your preoccupied attachment style is an important step in understanding the behaviors and emotions in your relationships. You can then use this knowledge to seek appropriate treatment and make changes.

  • Learn healthy communication skills and share your needs with your loved ones in a healthy way, and practice using your voice when you are struggling.
  • Develop friendships and connections with multiple people so that you have a strong support system and have multiple people you can turn to when you are having difficulties.
  • Engage in self-esteem building to become more confident and competent in your abilities.
  • Maintain healthy self-care techniques that you can rely on when you are having trouble.

Healing a preoccupied anxious attachment style doesn’t mean burying your emotions or not depending on your partner for support. Instead, it’s all about finding ways to meet your needs in ways that feel safe and steady while also fostering a healthy relationship with your partner.

How Do You Love Someone With an Anxious Preoccupied Attachment?

If someone you love has an anxious preoccupied attachment style, there are strategies you can use that may help. Focus on being consistent and dependable. Communicate your feelings clearly and be careful to avoid invalidating your partner’s emotions.

Key Takeaways

  • People with anxious preoccupied attachment tend to have low self-esteem and high anxiety about their relationships.
  • Potential causes include stress, previous experiences in relationships, and genetics.
  • Working to build health attachments, including with friends, family, and romantic partners, can help people heal.
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

  1. Hashworth T, Reis S, Grenyer BFS. Personal agency in borderline personality disorder: the impact of adult attachment style. Front Psychol. 2021;12:669512.

  2. Conrad R, Forstner AJ, Chung ML, et al. Significance of anger suppression and preoccupied attachment in social anxiety disorder: a cross-sectional study. BMC Psychiatry. 2021;21(1):116. doi:10.1186/s12888-021-03098-1

  3. Vismara L, Presaghi F, Bocchia M, Ricci RV, Ammaniti M. Attachment patterns in subjects diagnosed with a substance use disorder: a comparison of patients in outpatient treatment and patients in therapeutic communities. Front Psychiatry. 2019;10:807.

  4. Erkoreka L, Zumarraga M, Arrue A, et al. Genetics of adult attachment: An updated review of the literature. World J Psychiatry. 2021;11(9):530-542. doi:10.5498/wjp.v11.i9.530

  5. Rodriguez LM, DiBello AM, Øverup CS, Neighbors C. The price of distrust: Trust, anxious attachment, jealousy, and partner abuse. Partner Abuse. 2015;6(3):298-319. doi:10.1891/1946-6560.6.3.298

  6. Fraley RC, Roisman GI. The development of adult attachment styles: Four lessons. Current Opinion in Psychology. 2019;25:26-30. doi:10.1016/j.copsyc.2018.02.008

  7. Diamond G, Diamond GM, Levy S. Attachment-based family therapy: Theory, clinical model, outcomes, and process research. J Affect Disord. 2021;294:286-295. doi:10.1016/j.jad.2021.07.005

Headshot of Amy Marschall

By Amy Marschall, PsyD

Dr. Amy Marschall is an autistic clinical psychologist with ADHD, working with children and adolescents who also identify with these neurotypes among others. She is certified in TF-CBT and telemental health.


Source link

Kendra Cherry

What Is Object Permanence?

by with No Comment Dating Tips, Guide and Advice

When an object is hidden from sight, such as by covering it with a blanket or another object, infants under a certain age often become upset that the item has vanished. This is because they are too young to understand that the object continues to exist even though it cannot be seen.

Object permanence describes a child’s ability to know that objects continue to exist even though they can no longer be seen or heard. If you have ever played a game of “peek-a-boo” with a very young child, then you probably understand how this works.

Jump to Key Takeaways.

Click Play to Learn More About Object Permanence

Piaget on Object Permanence

The concept of object permanence plays a significant role in the theory of cognitive development created by psychologist Jean Piaget.

In the sensorimotor stage of development, a period that lasts from birth to about age two, Piaget suggested that children understand the world through their motor abilities such as touch, vision, taste, and movement.

During early infancy, babies are extremely egocentric. They have no concept that the world exists separate from their point of view and experience.

Schemas

In order to understand that objects continue to exist even when they are unseen, infants must first develop a mental representation of the object. Piaget referred to these mental images as schemas.

A schema is a category of knowledge about something in the world. For example, an infant might have a schema for food, which during early infancy will be either a bottle or breast.

As children grow older and have more experiences, their schemas multiply and become much more complex. Through the processes of assimilation and accommodation, children develop new mental categories, expand their existing categories, and even completely change their current schemas.

Piaget’s Experiments

To determine if object permanence was present, Piaget would show a toy to an infant before hiding it or taking it away. In one version of his experiment, Piaget would hide a toy under a blanket, then observe to see if the infant would search for the object.

Some of the infants would appear confused or upset by the loss while other infants would instead look for the object. Piaget believed that the children who were upset that the toy was gone lacked the understanding of object permanence, while those who searched for the toy had reached this developmental milestone.

In Piaget’s experiments, the recognition of object permanence tended to occur around the age of 8 to 9 months.

Effects of Object Permanence

One consequence of the development of object permanence is the emergence of separation anxiety. Once infants know that objects and people persist when they are no longer in sight, they often become upset when parents and caretakers are no longer visible.

Fortunately, this anxiety tends to be temporary and usually goes away by age 3. In some cases, however, separation anxiety can become more severe and persistent.

Object Permanence in ADHD

A lack of object permanence is sometimes said to be a symptom of attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). However, people with ADHD do understand object permanence; they may just have trouble remembering that the object is there.

How Object Permanence Develops

Piaget suggested that there were six substages that occur during the sensorimotor stage of development, including:

Birth to 1 Month: Reflexes

During the earliest part of the sensorimotor stage, reflexes are the primary way that infants understand and explore the world. Reflexive responses such as rooting, sucking, and startling are how the infant interacts with their environment.

1 to 4 Months: Development of New Schemas

Next, primary circular reactions lead to the formation of new schemas. A baby might accidentally suck their thumb and realize that it’s enjoyable. The baby will then repeat the action because it is pleasurable.

4 to 8 Months: Intentional Actions

Around the age of 4 to 8 months, infants begin paying much more attention to the world around them. They will even perform actions to create a response. Piaget referred to these as secondary circular reactions.

8 to 12 Months: Greater Exploration

Between 8 and 12 months, intentional actions become much more evident. Babies will shake toys to produce sounds and their responses to the environment become more cohesive and coordinated.

12 to 18 Months: Trial and Error

Tertiary circular reactions appear during the fifth stage. These involve trial and error, and infants might start performing actions to gain attention from others.

18 to 24 Months: Object Permanence Emerges

Piaget believed that representational thought begins to emerge between 18 and 24 months. At this point, children become able to form mental representations of objects. Because they can symbolically imagine things that cannot be seen, they are now able to understand object permanence.

A lack of object performance by a certain age may indicate a motor delay but, over time, understanding of object permanence can improve.

Criticisms

While Piaget’s theory was enormously influential and remains quite popular today, it has also been the subject of criticism. Research on object permanence has also called into question some of Piaget’s conclusions.

One of the major criticisms of Piaget’s work is that he often underestimated children’s abilities. Children may be capable of more at an earlier age than Piaget originally suggested.

Researchers have demonstrated that, with cues, children as young as 4 months can understand that objects continue to exist even though they are unseen or unheard.

Other researchers have suggested alternative explanations for why infants do not look for hidden toys. Very young children simply may not have the physical coordination necessary to search for the item. In other cases, babies might not have an interest in finding the hidden object.

How You Can Encourage It

Interacting with and playing with your child is one of the best ways to help develop important skills such as object permanence. Simple games and play can give your child the opportunity to practice skills and explore the world around them.

Some things you might do to support this skill include:

  • Peekaboo: This classic, simple game is a quick and easy way to entertain your child. You might play the game by covering up your own face or hiding your child’s toys behind another object. After hiding the toy, ask where it is before revealing the item.
  • Hiding objects: Take a few of your child’s toys and hide them in places your child can easily access. This might involve placing them behind another toy or tucking them under a blanket or pillow. Then encourage your child to search for the items. 

Key Takeaways

  • The emergence of object permanence is an important developmental milestone and marker of cognitive development in children.
  • While originally believed to occur later during the sensorimotor stage of development, researchers now understand that infants are capable of this feat much earlier in life.
  • If you are concerned about your child’s understanding of object permanence or have another concern about a developmental milestone, talk to your child’s healthcare provider. In many cases, early intervention and treatment can lead to better outcomes.
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

  1. An M, Marcinowski EC, Hsu LY, et al. Object permanence and the relationship to sitting development in infants with motor delays. Pediatr Phys Ther. 2022;34(3):309-316. doi:10.1097/PEP.0000000000000909

  2. Kumar S, Shaw P, Giagkos A, Braud R, Lee M, Shen Q. Developing hierarchical schemas and building schema chains through practice play behavior. Front Neurorobot. 2018;12:33. doi:10.3389/fnbot.2018.00033

  3. Piaget J. The construction of reality in the child. Psychology Press; 1999.

  4. Stanford Children’s Health. What is separation anxiety?

  5. Phillips KE, Norris LA, Kendall PC. Separation anxiety symptom profiles and parental accommodation across pediatric anxiety disorders. Child Psychiatry Hum Dev. 2020;51(3):377-389. doi:10.1007/s10578-019-00949-7

  6. Tosolini KE, Damen S, Janssen MJ, Minnaert AEMG. A Piagetian lens on cognitive development of children and youths with congenital deafblindness: A scoping review. Front Educ. 2025;10:1479668. doi:10.3389/feduc.2025.1479668

  7. An M, Marcinowski E, Hsu L, et al. Object permanence and the relationship to sitting development in infants with motor delays. Ped Phys Ther. 2022;34(3):309-316. doi:10.1097/PEP.0000000000000909

  8. Moore MK, Meltzoff AN. New findings on object permanence: A developmental difference between two types of occlusion. Br J Dev Psychol. 1999;17(4):623-644. doi:10.1348/026151099165410

  9. Bremner JG, Slater AM, Johnson SP. Perception of object persistence: The origins of object permanence in infancy. Child Development Perspectives. 2014;9(1):7-13. doi:10.1111/cdep.12098

Kendra Cherry

By Kendra Cherry, MSEd

Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the “Everything Psychology Book.”


Source link

When Should You Trust Your Intuition?

by with No Comment Dating Tips, Guide and Advice


Intuition is the innate ability to know something without having to think about it consciously. It’s often referred to as a “gut feeling” when you “just know” something. It can be a helpful source of guidance when making decisions. In fact, one study found that people who trust their intuition are more likely to do the morally right thing.

While trusting your intuition is not a skill you learn, it is one that you can strengthen.

“Learning to trust your intuition begins with self-awareness. Being self-aware allows an individual to know and understand their mannerisms, thoughts, and emotions. Once you are self-aware, you can identify those ‘gut feelings’ clearly,” explains Keanne Owens, MSW, LCSW, a psychotherapist and provider partner with Grow Therapy.

Jump to Key Takeaways.

What Are the Signs of Intuition?

Many people have referred to intuition as a “sixth sense.” Like your other five senses, intuition can cause physical signs in your body as follows:

  • You may have tension in your body or have a gnawing thought that won’t go away.
  • You feel like you have a pit in your stomach.
  • The hairs on the back of your neck stand up just before a frightening experience.
  • You feel like you should avoid a certain area, not knowing why, only to discover you would have been in danger if you were there.

Experts say these instances show how intuitive guidance works.

The idea of intuition sounds great—having something to lead you down the right path. However, many people don’t hone in on the signals that their body gives to them.

“Trusting your intuition takes practice for most people as we are often taught to disregard it once we start primary school. Unfortunately, trauma experienced in life can also skew your intuitive delivery system, which can make people believe they can’t trust themselves or their intuitive guidance,” explains Teresa Lodato, CPCC, founder of Becoming Aware®.

Developing your intuitive skills is key because there are times when you don’t want to ignore them, and those times can be life-changing.

4 Times You Shouldn’t Ignore Your Intuition

You understand that intuition is innate. You understand that your body gives you signals that can be your intuition. But how do you know when to trust it? Feelings, after all, can be based on a lot of things and aren’t always the best indicator of what action you should take. So, when is it best to trust those “gut feelings”?

1. When It Comes to Your Safety

When things seem “off” or awry in a situation, you should not ignore what you are feeling. Even if the nudging seems minimal, it is important not to brush it off.

“Never ignore your intuition when it comes to safety. If you have a gut feeling that is specific to your safety in a location, situation, or even a disagreement, always listen to it. It may be that subtle voice that prevents you from danger,” Owens says.

If your gut is telling you to take a different route home, drive in a specific lane, stop at another gas station or store, be aware of what’s going on in your surroundings. Even if your gut is telling you that you should leave an event suddenly, you should listen.

2. When Your Body Sends You Signals About Your Health

“The main purpose of your intuition is to keep your body safe, and in ancient times, this would extend to ‘knowing’ what food or water source was safe to eat [or] drink. In modern times, this might also look like getting migraines, headaches, or digestive disturbances when you are around toxic personality types,” Lodato says. “Pay attention to the messages your body is sending you because it is highly calibrated to keep you safe!”

Furthermore, don’t discount sudden weight changes, nagging body pains, or unusual body sensations. They can also be signals that something is off internally.

3. When You Think Something Is Off in a Relationship

If your romantic partner is acting in a way that is questionable, or makes you uneasy or suspicious, it’s important to investigate those feelings. “If you feel there is something off with your relationship to your partner, don’t ignore that. Be curious instead and seek to understand what is going on that has you wondering if something is up,” notes Lodato.

Granted, not all situations end up negative. However, even if it’s not nefarious, looking into the source of the feelings can help sort out issues in the relationship.

4. Trust Intuition When You Doubt Your Abilities

When confronted with a task or request that takes you out of your comfort zone, it’s easy to feel insecure. Insecurity can lead to fear. However, experts caution against self-doubt and not having enough faith in yourself.

“Never ignore your intuition when you know that you are skilled in a certain area or task. That may be imposter syndrome. Don’t second-guess your abilities,” advises Owens. 

Stored memories, stress, and underlying trauma can contribute to the way your body responds when it comes to recognizing intuitive signals. However, training yourself to listen to your intuition can be valuable for you mentally, physically, and emotionally.

“To be clear, your intuition will never steer you wrong; however, your body in a hyperactive [or] stressed out state can overreact, causing your intuition to feel different,” Lodato says. “Just as it takes time and effort to unlearn habits, it takes practice to bring awareness to the kaleidoscope your intuition sometimes must travel through to communicate with you.”

How Do You Know If It’s Your Intuition or Overthinking?

You may be the classic worrier, who worries about every minute detail. You overanalyze situations. So, it’s hard to know whether what you’re feeling is simply you giving too much thought to a situation, or truly your intuition trying to direct you. But there are ways to tell the difference.

“Intuition will always come as neutral communication. It will never ‘tell’ you what to do. [Rather] it will suggest, unless there is a clear threat or danger to your physical body,” Lodato says. “

Listening to your intuition typically feels like ‘you might want to go this way’ versus ‘go this way or else.’

Overthinking generally refers to repetitive, unproductive thoughts where people ‘ruminate’ about the future or ‘worry’ about the past,” she offers.

While there’s no one correct way to learn how to follow your intuition, making the effort to listen to your body and focus on your mental signals is worth it.

“Most people don’t realize they shouldn’t ignore their intuition until after the fact. Some people think trust must be earned, but I think trust must be learned. It is a process to learn to trust yourself,” Lodato concludes. “[But] it can be one of the best gifts you give yourself, empowering you to live a full and purposeful life you love!”

How to Improve Your Intuition

The first step toward improving your intuition involves becoming more aware of your inner voice and emotions. Some strategies that can be helpful include:

  • Journaling: Self-reflection helps you become more attuned to what you are thinking and feeling.
  • Meditation and mindfulness: These practices are helpful because instead of focusing on changing things, you are working on building an awareness of how you are feeling in the present moment.
  • Therapy: Talk therapy can also be a great way to build a stronger awareness of your thoughts, feelings, and behavior patterns.

Key Takeaways

  • Intuition is something we all have, but whether we are tuned into these feelings plays a big part in how much we are able to listen to and trust those gut feelings.
  • Fortunately, there are things you can do to become more aware of your inner voice.
  • Strategies like journaling, mindfulness, and meditation can be good places to start.

Source link

Wendy Rose Gould

How to Transition From the Honeymoon Phase to Lasting Love

by with No Comment Dating Tips, Guide and Advice

The honeymoon phase marks the time in your relationship when sparks are flying and your stomach’s full of butterflies. You probably believe that the other person can do no wrong. You’re less apt to get into an argument or snap at each other, you might easily overlook some quirks or frustrations, and everything feels like it’s smooth sailing.

“The honeymoon phase is the very beginning of the relationship when two people are first getting to know each other and everything seems very carefree and happy,” explains Beth Gulotta, LMHC, founder of NYC Therapeutic Wellness.

She says it’s mostly present in securely attached relationships where both partners feel confident and sure about each other’s feelings and desire to pursue the relationship. In other words, there’s less second-guessing about what the other is thinking or feeling, and both parties are excited to get to know each other better.

Jump to Key Takeaways.

What Does the Honeymoon Phase Feel Like?

They don’t call it the honeymoon phase for nothing. Gulotta says, “This phase feels exciting and exhilarating. You talk often and feel like you want to be with this person all the time. You get excited when you see their name pop up on your phone and find little ways to bring them up in conversation to your friends.”

You might also miss them as soon as they leave, think about them often, and feel like your time spent together is carefree and easy.

Other signs you’re in the honeymoon phase include feeling hopeful about your future together and feeling very connected in terms of physical and emotional intimacy.

You May Miss Red Flags in the Honeymoon Phase

As wonderful as the honeymoon phase is, be mindful that the infectious and sometimes all-consuming “good” feelings are not blinding you to potential red flags.

“When we are in this phase and enamored with someone, it can be easier to overlook or disregard important characteristics about them,” notes Gulotta. “Stay clear about who the person is in front of you. Do not idealize them or overlook things because you are feeling all the feels.”

Does Every Relationship Have One?

While many relationships do enjoy that initial lovey-dovey honeymoon phase, not every couple may experience it. However, this isn’t necessarily a sign that something’s wrong.

It probably just indicates that your relationship didn’t start off with strong feelings of infatuation toward the other person, says Leanna Stockard, LMFT at LifeStance Health. Instead, your attraction and connection built slowly as you got to know each other better.

How Do You Know When It’s Over?

The honeymoon phase can last anywhere from six months to several years depending on the couple. When the realities of life start to creep in, and hard conversations start to bubble to the surface, you’ll naturally transition out of the honeymoon phase. This doesn’t mean the blissful feeling is completely gone, but rather that day-to-day life just starts to become the norm instead.

Over time, the intensely strong feelings and infatuation you have for your partner beings to naturally decrease. What you once found an adorable quirk might drive you batty, and you may find yourself being less intentional about spending quality time together or doing nice things for the other in the same way you might have done early on.

When the realities of life start to creep in, and hard conversations start to bubble to the surface, you’ll naturally transition out of the honeymoon phase.

“As the honeymoon phase dies down, you and your partner likely become more of your authentic ‘day-to-day’ selves, and we begin to recognize the flaws in one another,” says Stockard. “During this time, we need to assess how we are feeling in the relationship and make the decision if we can continue on in our relationship with our partner—flaws and all.”

She adds that it’s also important not to compare the other person to how you saw them during the honeymoon phase, given that you likely saw a more idealistic version of them. Rather, it’s a time to be reflective and to have conversations about what your future together looks like.

The Post-Honeymoon Phase

If you decide to move forward in a healthy relationship, what comes next can be just as—if not more—beautiful than the honeymoon stage.

Making a True Committment

Here’s where you commit wholly to each other and build an unwavering foundation that can withstand life’s greatest challenges.

“As you go deeper with your partner, you learn more about their ins and outs, and you can appreciate and value your partner in a way beyond the surface levels you may feel during the honeymoon phase,” Stockard says.

6 Ways to Thrive After the Honeymoon Phase Ends

A 2022 study explored why positive feelings in a relationship sometimes fade away after that initial intense honeymoon phase. It found that factors such as stress, boredom, and life’s demands start to impact the quality of your bond. As such, it’s important to work against these points of friction to nurture a fulfilling relationship.

Here are some ways to keep the spark alive:

1. Keep Dating

Just because you go from casually seeing one another to a committed relationship does not mean that the dating process needs to end. Continue “dating each other” to keep things exciting. “I recommend trying new experiences, taking risks, doing things you both enjoy and keeping an open mind,” says Stockard.

2. Ask Questions

Even if we’ve spent a lot of time together, there’s still plenty we may not know or understand about our partners. Keep asking questions and learning about each other.

3. Remain Transparent

An open line of communication will help keep the spark alive.

“This could be in terms of new things you are interested in, an interesting fact you learned that day, or just day-to-day thoughts and feelings,” Stockard says.

It seems pretty standard, but deep attachment and connection remain alive through the power of communication. A review published in the Global Journal of Health Science found that excellent communication skills can improve intimacy in relationships.

4. Have the Tough Convos

Don’t sidestep hard and important conversations, such as when to move in together, whether you want to get married, or how to deal with finances. Letting these topics bubble under the surface can create awkward tension. Be forthright with your desires and understand your partner’s desires. This equips you to make better decisions for each other and your relationship.

5. Mitigate Conflict

It is completely normal to have arguments with your partner. In fact, arguments are a sign you care about each other and want the other to see your perspective. However, make sure that you’re engaging in conflict in a healthy way, though, by viewing the issue as an “us versus the problem” instead of “me versus you.”

6. Prioritize Each Other

Continue prioritizing one another’s needs and wants throughout the course of your relationship. Your partner should often be first in line for your affection, time, and energy.

Key Takeaways

  • While the honeymoon phase might not last forever, you can still carry many of those feelings over to keep your relationship alive in the long term.
  • Lasting love is often best when infatuation and intimacy are combined.
  • Doing things like continuing to date, asking questions, and prioritizing each other can help keep that spark alive, even when you’ve been together a long time.
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

  1. Weber DM, Baucom DH. When the loss of positives feels negative: Exploring the loss of positive experiences in committed couples. Current Opinion in Psychology. 2022;43:166-170. doi:10.1016/j.copsyc.2021.07.015

  2. Kardan-Souraki M, Hamzehgardeshi Z, Asadpour I, Mohammadpour RA, Khani S. A review of marital intimacy-enhancing interventions among married individuals. Glob J Health Sci. 2016;8(8):74-93. doi:10.5539/gjhs.v8n8p74

  3. Timmons AC, Arbel R, Margolin G. Daily patterns of stress and conflict in couples: Associations with marital aggression and family-of-origin aggression. J Fam Psychol. 2017;31(1):93-104. doi:10.1037/fam0000227

Wendy Rose Gould

By Wendy Rose Gould

Wendy Rose Gould is a lifestyle reporter with over a decade of experience covering health and wellness topics.


Source link

How the Sinclair Method for Alcohol Addiction Recovery Works

by with No Comment Dating Tips, Guide and Advice


What if there were a way to train your brain to drink less without having to quit cold turkey or take the path of total abstinence? The Sinclair Method is an increasingly popular option that takes a gentler approach to curbing drinking. It relies on medication to make drinking feel less pleasurable, reducing the urge to drink and making it easier for people to limit their consumption.

The Sinclair Method for Alcohol Use Disorders is a treatment approach that involves administering the opioid antagonist medication naltrexone as needed to reduce the pleasurable aspects of alcohol consumption.

This approach was introduced by John David Sinclair, a researcher who discovered that naltrexone could be used to block alcohol-reinforcing effects. It is sometimes described as targeting naltrexone to use only when needed. The Sinclair Method is an option if you want to reduce your drinking, but don’t necessarily want to abstain from alcohol altogether. 

Jump to Key Takeaways.

Overview of the Sinclair Method

Unlike many traditional approaches to alcohol recovery, the Sinclair Method is a medication-based approach. By administering naltrexone prior to consuming alcohol, the pleasurable feelings that drinking usually produces are blocked. 

Because people feel less pleasure when they drink, they often find it much easier to drink less. In some cases, they completely lose the urge to drink at all. While this approach is less common in the United States, it has become much more widely used in Europe. 

Naltrexone is a synthetic drug that blocks opiate receptors in the brain. It is used for treating opioid addiction as well as alcoholism. Nalmefene is similar drug that is available in Europe.

Other Medications to Stop Drinking

However, the Sinclair Method is not the only medication-based approach to alcohol recovery.

Campril ( Acamprosate) is another FDA-approved medication that helps people stop drinking by reducing the craving for alcohol. Antabuse (disulfiram) is a medication that has been used for many years, but it works very differently. Antabuse does not reduce craving, but by making people sick if they drink any alcohol, it can help them stay abstinent

While naltrexone is also taken before drinking alcohol, it does not cause illness. Instead, it simply makes it so drinking no longer produces an endorphin rush or “buzz”. Without those pleasant feelings, the brain eventually stops associating drinking with pleasure. 

This is known as pharmacological extinction. In operant conditioning, rewards increase the likelihood that a behavior will occur again. When it comes to addictions such as alcohol use disorder, consuming alcohol is the behavior and the release of endorphins is the reward. When the brain unlearns this association, pharmacological extinction occurs.

History of the Sinclair Method

Sinclair first observed the effects of naltrexone on drinking behavior in his animal research. In animals that had been trained to drink alcohol, they would press a lever repeatedly to obtain it. Sinclair found that if the longer they were deprived of alcohol, the more they would press the lever.

He termed this phenomenon the alcohol deprivation effect, likening it to the increased alcohol cravings that make it hard for people with AUD to stay abstinent and avoid a binge.

He also discovered that administering naltrexone before drinking would eventually extinguish the drinking behavior. Later research also demonstrated that naltrexone had a similar effect on humans with alcohol use disorder who wanted to drink less.  

Despite what some critics suggest, the Sinclair Method doesn’t encourage more drinking. Instead, it offers a way to help reduce the rewards of drinking so that it’s easier to gradually quit or reduce drinking over time.

How It Works

The Sinclair method works by reducing the reinforcement that people get when they drink alcohol. One of the reasons why alcohol addiction happens is that people experience a rush of endorphins when they drink. Because drinking makes them feel good, they form an association between alcohol and pleasure. 

Naltrexone is effective because it blocks the pleasurable feelings people have when consuming alcohol. Because drinking is less rewarding and reinforcing, it becomes easier for people to limit their alcohol consumption and reduce their alcohol cravings. If someone uses naltrexone consistently whenever they drink, over time, they can stop their excessive thoughts about alcohol and free themselves from the symptoms of their addiction.

The actual process for using the Sinclair Method includes the following steps:

  • Taking naltrexone one hour before consuming alcohol
  • Consuming alcohol as usual
  • While drinking, the naltrexone blocks pleasurable feelings, and you may feel like drinking less
  • Continuing to use naltrexone 100% of the time you consume alcohol
  • Eventually, as you take your drinks, you will notice that drinking is less rewarding, and you may drink less or stop altogether.

Researchers do not fully understand how naltrexone reduces alcohol cravings. It blocks certain opioid receptors in the brain and influences dopamine, a neurotransmitter, which is believed to help block alcohol’s reinforcing effects.

Pros and Cons

Like any other treatment method, the Sinclair Method has advantages and disadvantages that you should consider before you decide if this approach is right for you. Some people may find that it is a flexible and effective way to cut back on drinking. However, it’s not the right fit for everyone.

Pros

The Sinclair Method can help people reduce their drinking without quitting entirely. This can be an appealing option for people who want to drink socially on occasion but want to cut back and gain greater control over their alcohol consumption. By helping people drink less, it reduces the harm they experience from alcohol.

It can also serve as a step toward sobriety while minimizing the need for medically supervised detox in residential alcohol treatment. Unlike some other more expensive treatment options, the Sinclair Method is cost-effective and can be done at home.

Research also suggests that it can be very effective in helping people reduce their drinking. According to Sinclair’s own research, the use of naltrexone in the treatment of alcohol use disorder can have a 78% efficacy rate.

Other potential benefits of the Sinclair Method:

  • This approach can get people who are unwilling to completely give up alcohol to keep their drinking at a safer level.
  • Because it gradually reduces alcohol consumption, people are less likely to experience serious alcohol withdrawal symptoms, including delirium tremens (DT).
  • It is a more affordable treatment alternative compared to more intensive and costly inpatient or residential treatments.
  • Since people are actively involved in their treatment, it may help people feel more empowered and in control of their drinking and alcohol recovery.

Some people may find that this approach to recovery, without the pressure of perfect abstinence, makes quitting drinking more manageable.

Recap

The Sinclair Method is an affordable, realistic, and flexible treatment option that has a high rate of success.

Cons

Extinction takes time, and even occasional reinforcement can serve to maintain a behavior. In order for the Sinclair Method to be successful, it is important to always, without fail, take naltrexone before consuming any alcohol. 

That’s often easier said than done.

Some other possible downsides of the Sinclair Method:

  • People who drive while under the influence of alcohol may experience worsened coordination while taking naltrexone.
  • Treating alcohol use disorder with medication only may remove someone’s motivation for personal growth through other treatment methods, including 12-step programs.
  • In some cases, people may mistakenly believe that their doctor condones continued alcohol use. 
  • Some people may develop a false sense of confidence in their ability to drink safely without getting intoxicated.

As Verywell Review Board Member Dr. John Umhau notes in an article published in Advances in Addiction & Recovery, the Sinclair Method requires a lifetime commitment. While it minimizes cravings, it is essential to remember that people also drink for other purposes, including social reasons, boredom, habit, and as a way to dampen emotional pain.

Naltrexone is not simple or easy “cure” for alcohol use disorders. It needs to be used correctly and consistently in order for it to be effective.

People can also relapse after pharmacological extinction. If a person consumes excessive alcohol to the point that it bypasses the “naltrexone wall,” a point at which alcohol use becomes pleasurable again, they may experience a relapse to alcohol use.

Regular naltrexone use can also increase the sensitivity of opioid receptors, a process known as upregulation. As a result, drinking alcohol can feel much more rewarding if naltrexone use is suddenly stopped. This can cause excessive drinking, which is why consistently using naltrexone before every drink is critical for success.

Side Effects of Naltrexone

While naltrexone is usually tolerated well, it can have side effects that can range in severity. The most common side effects involve increased nervousness, muscle or joint pain, headache, nausea, and upset stomach. In most cases, these side effects are mild and lessen with time as people become more accustomed to the medication or can be minimized by taking the medication with food.

More rarely, severe side effects can include blurry vision, diarrhea, confusion, drowsiness, stomach pain, and vomiting. 

Liver toxicity is another serious risk of naltrexone. Symptoms include unusual bleeding or bruising, dark urine, yellowing of the skin or eyes, and pain in the upper right part of the abdomen. If you experience such symptoms after taking naltrexone, you should contact your doctor immediately.

Is the Sinclair Method Right for You?

If you are interested in trying the Sinclair Method, start by talking to your doctor. They can discuss your current drinking behavior, medical history, and treatment goals to better determine if the Sinclair Method might be a good fit.

The Sinclair Method might be a good option for you if you:

  • Are committed to making changes to your alcohol use behavior
  • Have adequate social support
  • Are willing to adhere to your doctor’s instructions and take your medication every time you plan to consume alcohol
  • Don’t have a seizure disorder
  • Don’t have liver disease

In some cases, the Sinclair Method can be a great start toward recovery. Because it engages people with alcohol-treatment professionals, it may help lead people to better recognize the extent of their problem while also giving them the hope and motivation to keep working toward giving up alcohol.

It’s important to note that the Sinclair Method requires medical supervision, since proper timing and dosing is the key to its effectiveness. 

The Sinclair Method is not the only medication-based treatment approach. Depending on your own situation, you may find that another type of medication might work better for your needs.

Key Takeaways

  • If you are trying to reduce your alcohol consumption or quit drinking altogether, the Sinclair Method is one approach you might want to consider.
  • It requires taking the medication naltrexone before every time you drink.
  • Talk to your doctor about whether taking naltrexone every time before you drink might be an option for you.

Source link