Posts in category: Dating Tips, Guide and Advice

Lamictal (lamotrigine) is an anticonvulsive drug frequently used as a mood stabilizer for people living with bipolar disorder. It works by moderating extreme variations in mood and is particularly helpful in treating severe depression.

Since its introduction in 1994, the medication has enjoyed widespread use. Today, it is on the World Health Organization’s List of Essential Medications.

Despite its proven benefits, Lamictal has its downsides. In some individuals, Lamictal has been known to cause a hypersensitivity reaction marked by severe rash and inflammation. This finding led the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) to issue a black box warning advising consumers about this rare but potentially deadly reaction.

Symptoms of Lamictal Rash

There are a number of early-onset symptoms that might indicate that you are having an allergic reaction to Lamictal. Some of these include:

• Feeling poorly
• Fever
• Itching skin
• Hives
• Red blisters on areas of the body, which may include the face or mouth

The symptoms can range from benign to potentially fatal. However, there is no way to gauge the potential outcome based on the symptoms. If you experience any signs of a rash when taking Lamictal, even if it seems mild, you need to contact your doctor immediately.

Hypersensitivity Reactions

The FDA warns that people who take Lamictal may experience a number of hypersensitivity reactions. A hypersensitive reaction occurs when a condition or drug causes the immune system to overreact, resulting in an allergy or adverse autoimmune response.

With Lamictal, these can include reactions known as Stevens-Johnson syndrome (SJS), toxic epidermal necrolysis (TEN), and drug reactions with eosinophilia and systemic symptoms (DRESS syndrome).

Each of these conditions manifests with a severe (some say “angry”) rash, which typically develops after two to eight weeks of drug use. Mortality rates are significant, ranging from 5% to as high as 30%.

Stevens-Johnson Syndrome

Stevens-Johnson syndrome (SJS) can often be preceded by flu-like symptoms such as:

• Cough
• Diarrhea
• Fever
• Headache
• Sore throat
• Vomiting

This can be followed by an all-body reaction characterized by a quickly spreading rash, swelling of the face and tongue, and the severe blistering of the mucous membranes of the mouth, nose, and eyes.

Toxic Epidermal Necrolysis

Toxic epidermal necrolysis (TEN) is essentially SJS but worse. TEN involves the detachment of more than 30% of skin, as opposed to SJS, which involves less than 10%. Moreover, the risk of death from TEN is between four and five times greater than that from SJS.

DRESS Syndrome

DRESS syndrome is a drug reaction that can also cause rash alongside other characteristic symptoms, including severe nerve pain and inflammation of at least one major organ (most often the liver, kidneys, lungs, heart, muscles, or pancreas).

Causes of Hypersensitivity

By and large, people under age 17 are more likely to have a reaction to Lamictal than adults. In addition, several factors can increase the likelihood of an adverse response:

• Taking more than the recommended dose when starting therapy
• Increasing the dose too quickly when starting instead of ramping up gradually
• Stopping treatment and starting again at the normal full dose
• Taking the medications Depakene (valproic acid) or Depakote (sodium valproate) in conjunction with Lamictal

It should be pointed out, however, that hypersensitivity can sometimes occur even if you are taking the drug as prescribed. While genetic factors appear to play a part, the causes are occasionally idiopathic (meaning we simply don’t know the reason).

It is important to note, however, that not all hypersensitivity reactions will result in SJS. Putting it all into perspective, there is only a 0.1% chance of such an event occurring.

In the end, the severity of the reaction, as well as the availability of other mood-stabilizing drugs, informed the FDA decision as much as the statistical risk itself.

Treatment for Lamictal Rash

Treatment involves the immediate discontinuation of Lamictal and using supportive therapies to treat the pain, prevent infection, and ensure that the person remains properly hydrated.

The skin damage is treated in a similar manner to a thermal burn. Corticosteroids are commonly used to reduce inflammation.

• For mild rashes, a healthcare professional might recommend monitoring the symptoms and using topical creams and ibuprofen to minimize pain, reduce inflammation, and prevent infection. 
• Stevens-Johnson syndrome treatment involves hospitalization and supportive care to manage symptoms.
• Toxic epidermal necrolysis also requires hospitalization and may require the administration of fluids, intravenous antibiotics, and/or immune therapy.
• DRESS syndrome may require hospitalization, depending on the severity of the condition. Other treatments may be needed if they experience other complications, such as liver or kidney failure.

If a person is required to stop taking Lamictal, their doctor may recommend a different mood stabilizer such as Depakote (divalproex sodium, sodium valproate, and valproic acid), lithium, or Topamax (topiramate). Research also suggests that Zyprexa (olanzapine) can help manage symptoms of bipolar disorder.

Most people experience anger now and then. However, if you feel angry often or intensely, anger management therapy can help. “Anger management is an approach designed to help you manage the emotional and physiological arousal that accompanies anger,” explains Erin Engle, PsyD, a psychologist at Columbia University Medical Center.

Engle goes on to say, “As it’s often not possible to change the circumstances or people that elicit anger, anger management can help you recognize your triggers for anger and learn to cope with them more effectively.” Here’s what you need to know about this therapy type and how it can help you live a happier, healthier life.

Types of Anger Management Therapy

Anger is a universal emotion that often arises in response to threat, loss of power, or injustice, says Engle. Additionally, this emotion is not necessarily negative, though it can be detrimental at uncontrollable levels given the behaviors likely to follow, such as throwing things, walking out, attacking others, saying things you later regret, or acting passive-aggressively.

Anger management therapy can help reduce these types of responses or outbursts. Several different approaches can be used during therapy sessions, some of which include:

• Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): CBT is often the treatment of choice for anger management. Engle says that it can help you understand your triggers for anger, develop and practice coping skills, and think, feel, and behave differently in response to anger, so you are calmer and more in control.
• Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT): DBT is a form of CBT that can help individuals with intense or frequent anger regain emotional control. It works by helping the individual develop emotional regulation and distress tolerance skills, mindfulness, and effective communication in relationships says Engle.
• Family therapy: This form of therapy can be helpful in situations where anger is often directed at family members, such as when a young adult has unresolved anger toward a parent. It can help you work together to improve communication and resolve issues.
• Psychodynamic therapy: Psychodynamic therapy can help you examine the psychological roots of your anger and your response to it so you can identify and correct unhealthy patterns.

Your mental healthcare provider will evaluate your circumstances and specific behaviors to determine the overall approach to treatment and whether you require medication in addition to therapy, says Engle. 

Anger Management Therapy Techniques

Anger management therapy techniques can involve understanding your triggers and responses to anger, learning strategies to manage or diffuse it, and changing thoughts and attitudes related to anger. Engle outlines some of these techniques below.

Identifying Triggers and Responses

Therapy can help you develop a better understanding of the factors that contribute to your expressions of anger, such as current and past triggers. You also begin to better understand your responses to anger and the consequences or aftereffects on you and your relationships. 

For instance, through anger management therapy, you may realize that yelling at your spouse is related to observing your parents yell when growing up. Or, you may learn that you engage in this behavior because you believe you’ll only get what you want if you yell.

Learning Strategies to Diffuse Anger

Anger management therapy can equip you with strategies to disrupt your anger or manage your response to it through avoidance or distraction. A therapist can help you problem-solve how to respond when you’re angry.

Therapy can also teach you coping strategies and relaxation techniques. You can learn about deep breathing, leaving the room and returning when you’re collected, or using a relaxing image to alleviate the intensity of anger.

Changing Attitudes and Thought Patterns

Therapy can also involve restructuring thinking and changing attitudes related to anger, particularly if a CBT approach is used. The therapist will help you examine your attitudes and ways of thinking to identify patterns that might exacerbate anger, such as ruminating, catastrophizing, judging, fortune-telling, or magnifying. 

Your therapist will also work with you to practice changing your response patterns. They can encourage forgiveness and compassion, offer ways to let go of hurt and disappointment, and help you repair and accept ruptured relationships.

Assessing Anger Management Issues

Unsure whether you might benefit from anger management therapy? This short, free 21-item test measures a variety of symptoms and feelings associated with anger, such as anger about the present and future, anger toward oneself, and hostile feelings toward others.

This anger quiz was medically reviewed by Rachel Goldman, PhD, FTOS.

What Anger Management Therapy Can Help With

While anger management is a form of treatment designed to help you manage anger, anger is not officially a condition that is diagnosed or defined, like depression or anxiety, for instance. However, intense, destructive, or uncontrollable anger may cause significant distress and impairment and impact safety, says Engle.

Anger management therapy can help anyone who experiences rage or has angry outbursts. It can help improve your:

• Mental health: Anger can consume your focus, cloud your judgment, and deplete your energy. It is also associated with other mental health conditions, such as depression and substance use disorders.
• Physical health: Anger manifests physically in the body with a surge of adrenaline, a rapid rise in heartbeat, higher blood pressure, and increased muscle tension in the form of a clenched jaw or fisted hands, says Engle. Over time, this can take a toll on your health and lead to physical health conditions.
• Career: Anger can make it hard to focus on school or work and affects performance. It can also harm relationships with peers. While creative differences, constructive criticism, and healthy debates can be productive, lashing out or having angry outbursts can alienate peers and lead to negative consequences.
• Relationships: Anger often harms loved ones the most and can take a toll on your relationships with them. It can make it difficult for others to be comfortable around you, erode their trust and respect, and be especially damaging to children.

Benefits of Anger Management Therapy

Anger management therapy can be beneficial for a variety of reasons. It can help you:

• Identify triggers: Knowing what situations trigger your anger can help you avoid them or manage your reaction to them.
• Change your thinking: Anger management can help you identify and change unhealthy thought patterns that fuel your anger.
• Develop coping skills: Therapy can help you regulate your emotions, control your actions, and develop skills to help you cope with situations that trigger your anger.
• Learn relaxation techniques: Your therapist may teach you relaxation techniques to help you calm down and relax your body and mind.
• Solve problems: If certain situations trigger your anger repeatedly, your therapist may encourage you to look for solutions or alternatives. 
• Improve communication: Anger management therapy can help you express your feelings in a healthy, respectful, or assertive manner, without being aggressive.

Effectiveness of Anger Management Therapy

Engle shares that CBT, which is often used to treat anger, is a very effective approach. CBT is an empirically-supported treatment that takes a skills-based approach to anger management with emphasis on awareness of thoughts, behavioral patterns, and skill development with respect to physical and emotional reactions to anger.

A 2017 study found that CBT was helpful to table tennis players with anger management issues. Even one year after completing treatment, participants were less likely to negatively express anger or react angrily. A 2020 study added that anger management therapy was beneficial to patients with HIV.

Co-Occurring Mental Health Issues

Some mental health issues commonly co-occur with anger. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is one. Anger is also so common with a few other mental disorders that it is one of the criteria for diagnosis. These disorders include:

“As with any form of treatment, it can be beneficial to seek out the support and experience of a trained mental health professional,” says Engle. “Professional evaluation and consultation can help identify any co-occurring mental health issues like trauma or substance use.”

A mental healthcare provider can determine if co-occurring disorders play a predominant role or how they can best be addressed in combination with anger management, says Engle. They can also help determine an appropriate treatment plan.

How to Get Started With Anger Management Therapy

To begin anger management therapy, look for a trained mental health professional who specializes in this form of treatment. By specializing in anger, the professional knows what strategies are most effective for reducing these feelings.

Depending on your preferences, you can choose to opt for individual treatment or group therapy. Individual therapy sessions offer more privacy and one-on-one interaction whereas group therapy sessions can help you recognize that you don’t have to go through this alone.

Why do relationships fail? It’s a question that many ask themselves after a breakup. While each situation is different, there are a variety of reasons why relationships don’t go the distance.

The main reasons why relationships fail are loss of trust, poor communication, lack of respect, a difference in priorities, and little intimacy. This article discusses why each may cause a relationship to come to an end.

Loss of Trust

If you’ve ever wondered, “Why does a relationship fail?” it is important to recognize that the problem often comes down to trust. One of the foundational feelings necessary in a good relationship is a feeling of security. If you lack emotional support or find your partner unreliable, you might lose trust.

If your partner is vague or hard to pin down, there is cause for concern. Relationships that are built on mistrust are on shaky ground.

Lying

Let’s say you found out your partner lied to you. Lies can have powerful consequences. Was it a white lie or a lie told to protect the person who lied? White lies are often minor or inconsequential while real lies have far-reaching effects.

Possessiveness

If you’re with a partner who is overly possessive, ask yourself, “Does this seem healthy? Does your partner isolate you away from your friends or constantly check up on you?” 

Jealousy

Jealousy in small doses can be healthy and a sign that you’re not taking one another for granted. But if someone is overly possessive and seems to exhibit signs of pathological jealousy, these are red flags.

Infidelity

If you suspect your partner is being unfaithful, you may feel like the cornerstone of what you built together has been destroyed. You might not trust this person anymore. Are they even who you thought they were?

Relationships centered on lack of trust, filled with lying, jealousy, and infidelity, will likely not endure.

Poor Communication

Poor communication is another common reason why relationships fail. If you’re both reduced to only speaking about the kids’ schedules or the chore list for the weekend, your communication has become merely transactional. Healthy communications should be about lots of different topics.

Although it sounds counterintuitive, when a couple brags that they never argue at all, that’s not a good thing. It often reflects the fact that both people are conflict avoidant. They’d rather not rock the boat or bring up difficult issues.

It’s actually better for couples to express their frustrations and find a way to talk through them rather than not argue at all.

In one recent study, scientists analyzed a demand/withdraw style of communication among couples. This style describes what happens when one partner demands or nags about something and the other person avoids the confrontation and pulls away.  

The study found that when under increased financial distress, this demand/withdraw style also increased. Moreover, it was correlated with lower marital satisfaction, too. But what was surprising was this interesting finding: couples who exhibited signs of gratitude and appreciation overcame this communication problem.

Lack of Respect

Issues with respect are another common reason why relationships fail. For example, couples often disagree about various issues, but financial issues are often a source of disagreement. Maybe one is a spender and one is a saver. The problem isn’t so much that they view spending and saving in polar opposite ways; it’s more about how they handle discussions about money.

So, it’s important to identify how one treats the other during a conflict about money or any issue. Is your partner respectful? Do they joke with you about it? Or does your partner put you down, roll their eyes and treat you with utter contempt? These are signs of a lack of respect for one another.

Dr. John Gottman, a renowned psychologist and expert on marriage stability and divorce probability, views contempt as the biggest destroyer of relationships. He says contempt is the biggest predictor of divorce, too.

A Difference in Priorities

Having conflicting priorities is another common reason why relationships fail. If you find that someone you’re dating or someone you’ve been with for a while has vastly different relationship desires or life goals than you do, your relationship may begin to fall apart.

Different Relationship Goals

Sometimes you have different priorities for the relationship itself. For example, after a month of dating, a recently widowed person might want to book a fun getaway trip with you and keep a no-strings-attached relationship. You, however, may be ready to introduce your family to your love during the upcoming holidays and embark on a more serious path.

Different Life Goals

Maybe you both have different long-term goals for the future. If you haven’t made time to discuss this, it can be upsetting to find out that your partner’s dreams and goals differ from yours.

For instance, you may want to continue ambitiously pursuing a career in the city for another five years. Meanwhile, your partner is ready to settle down next year and start a family in the suburbs.

Having differing goals doesn’t always mean your relationship is doomed. For example, it’s possible that your goals can influence those of the person you’re with.

A recent study published in The Journals of Gerontology investigated the interdependence of goals within couples. The research, which included 450 couples, found that partners over the long term do influence one another when it comes to goals. This could be a mechanism that keeps the relationship more stable.

However, don’t rely on influencing the other as a solution. If one of you wants kids and the other absolutely does not, or one of you wants to live as a digital nomad and the other wants to remain in his childhood neighborhood until they are old and gray, this isn’t a fit. A better match might be out there for you.

Not Enough Sex and Intimacy

Problems with sex and intimacy can also be a reason why a relationship might fail. Oxytocin is sometimes called the “love hormone” or “cuddle chemical”. Our bodies produce the hormone oxytocin when we hug, touch, kiss, and show affection toward another person. Increased oxytocin is also associated with reduced levels of stress and feelings of happiness.

When your partner is uninterested in sex, sometimes relationships end up strained. The mismatch of sexual desires can erode a relationship along with other factors and ultimately contribute to a split.

Sex is very important for relationships. According to a recent study, the average adult has sex once a week. There are many benefits to having sex more often. These include emotional, psychological, and physical benefits.

What Can Make a Relationship Last?

If you want to keep your relationship from failing, there are some steps you can take to help your connection last. Brian Ogolsky, Director of Graduate Studies, Associate Professor, Human Development and Family Studies at the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign, analyzed more than 1,100 studies on romantic relationships. In his research, he identified positive strategies that contributed to preserving partnerships.

Approachability refers to the social perception of being friendly, likeable, accessible, and easy to deal with. Being more approachable helps put others at ease. It makes others more open to initiating conversations and helps encourage social harmony in groups.

There are many reasons why others might not find you approachable. Sometimes this perception has less to do with you and more with the other person’s feelings of inadequacy, lack of self-confidence, and poor self-esteem. In other cases, being unapproachable might be linked to having poor interpersonal skills or an anxiety disorder.

If you have social anxiety disorder (SAD), you may struggle to look approachable. Perhaps you’ve never considered the signals you send through your body language, or feel powerless to control your body because of your anxiety.

If you want to be more approachable, there are steps you can take to seem more accessible and welcoming. This article discusses some tips that can help, including:

• Smiling at others
• Being available to talk
• Avoid closed body language
• Keeping your head up
• Using good eye contact
• Angling your body toward others
• Avoiding nervous habits
• Mirroring the other person
• Nodding during the conversation
• Being positive

How to Be More Approachable

If you struggle to meet new people or join in the conversation at social gatherings, it might be that your body language is sending the message for others to stay away. How then can you improve your body language to appear more approachable? Below are ten tips to get you started.

Smile

Although it is possible to overdo smiling, generally it is better to smile versus frown. Try to find things that genuinely make you happy or laugh and your smile will come across as natural rather than forced.

Be Accessible

If you are constantly on your smartphone or buried in a newspaper, people will feel like they are interrupting you. Make sure that you are accessible and open to communication from others.

Avoid Blocks

In the same vein, make sure that you aren’t using objects to shield yourself from others. At a party, hold your drink at your side instead of close to your chest. Keeping objects between you and others makes you appear guarded and closed.

Keep Your Head Up

It is hard for others to know to approach you if your head is constantly down; they need to see your face to feel like you want to get to know them. Keep your head level when walking, meeting people, and during social situations.

Use Eye Contact

When you do end up talking with someone, be sure to maintain eye contact. A good rule is about 60% of the time, you should be looking in the other person’s eyes. Avoiding eye contact makes you appear untrustworthy or disinterested.

Angle Towards

Watch your feet, your legs, and your body; you should be angling toward the person you are talking to, not away. Any body language that makes you look like you are ready to “bolt for the door” means the other person will feel like you are just not interested.

Avoid Nervous Habits

Even though you might be nervous, avoid the habits that go along with the feeling. Stop touching your face or playing with your hair. Don’t fidget with your pen or the change in your pocket. Keep your hands relaxed at your sides or use them to gesture when making conversation.

Mirror the Other Person

Use this technique sparingly when appropriate. If you are in conversation with another person, mirror his body language to make him feel more comfortable; make some of the same movements that he does. Don’t overdo this strategy or it will become obvious what you are doing.

Nod During Conversation

When listening to someone, nod to show that you are paying attention and interested. Doing so reinforces for the other person that you want to be involved in the conversation. One way to take the focus off yourself during a conversation is to plan to share what you’ve heard with someone else afterward. This will cause you to stay focused, ask questions, and summarize to make sure you understand.

Be Positive

Beyond body language, always be positive. Say nice things about other people instead of mean things. Approach others and include those who seem to be left out. Be a positive person and you will attract other positive people to you.

Characteristics of Approachable People

Being approachable is all about being friendly, open, and welcoming. People who are described as approachable tend to make other people feel comfortable and are good at getting others to open up.

Try the Likable Person Test

This fast, free quiz can help give you insight into whether or not you possess traits that could make you more or less likable.

Benefits of Being More Approachable

Approachability comes with many benefits. In social relationships, being approachable often serves as a way to initiate connections with others. Some key benefits you may enjoy by learning to be more approachable include:

• Greater trust: People are more willing to trust and open up to people they perceive as approachable.
• Increased intimacy: Because people are more willing to share with approachable people, approachability can contribute to greater self-disclosure in relationships. This can increase closeness, intimacy, and connection.
• Better communication: When you are more approachable, people are more willing to discuss their concerns and share their needs. This can improve communication and reduce the risk of misunderstanding.

Potential Pitfalls of Being Unapproachable

Being unapproachable can come with a number of drawbacks. If people feel that you are unapproachable, you might experience:

• Fewer social connections: If people feel you are standoffish, they are less likely to initiate conversations. Because it might be more difficult to form new connections with others, the result can often be fewer interpersonal relationships and decreased social support.
• Increased loneliness and isolation: Being unapproachable can lead to fewer social connections, which can ultimately contribute to feelings of isolation and loneliness.
• Few opportunities for advancement: Being less approachable can also have a negative impact on your opportunities in the workplace. Co-workers might be less likely to reach out to you when collaborating on projects. Employers might be less likely to task you with projects that require leading groups.

Frequently Asked Questions

What makes a person more approachable?

People who are seen as approachable can overcome barriers in social situations. They are seen as accessible and are good at helping others feel welcome in social situations. Their body language, facial expressions, and listening skills help convey their interest in hearing what others say.

How can I be more approachable and make friends?

Simple actions like smiling at others and using good eye contact are great places to start. Once someone seems open to starting a conversation, utilizing icebreakers to introduce yourself and move the conversation forward can keep the momentum going. Of course, practicing these skills can help you get better at being more approachable and forming new friendships.

Why are anxious people sometimes viewed as unapproachable?

Social anxiety can lead people to give off signals that others misinterpret as being standoffish. Examples include avoiding eye contact and closed body language. If you have social anxiety, getting treatment can help. You can also learn new coping strategies and ways of relating to others that will help you seem more approachable.

Treatment for Social Anxiety

If you experience anxiety, it might feeling overwhelming to change habits that make you appear unapproachable. And there may be times when you don’t want to change for fear that you will be approached by someone who wants to talk.

Although it may feel unnatural at first, with the time you should start to feel more open and confident as a result of changing your body language. If, however, you still struggle to be open with others, it is best to seek help for your social anxiety. There are effective treatments such as medication and cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) that will make a difference in your life.

Individuation in psychology is the process that people go through as they achieve a distinct, separate identity. This idea was introduced by the psychoanalyst Carl Jung, who suggested that this was a central process in human development.

What Is Individuation?

When discussing human development, individuation refers to the process of forming a stable personality. As a person individuates, they gain a clearer sense of self separate from their parents and others around them. Carl Jung used the term “individuation” extensively in his work on personality development.

In Carl Jung’s work, he suggested that this was a self-realization process. Throughout life, people are prone to losing touch with certain aspects of their true selves. Through individuation, they are able to integrate these aspects of themselves with all of their new learning and experiences that they gain throughout life.

Signs of Individuation

Individuation occurs throughout life, but it is an important part of the tween, teen, and young adulthood years. When individuation occurs:

Seeking Privacy

During adolescence, tweens and teens may want more privacy. During this time, parents or caregivers should get used to the idea of their children wanting to spend time alone in their bedrooms.

They may no longer be as open about what happens during the school day or in their friendships. They also may have romantic relationships or crushes that they keep to themselves.

Focusing on the Self

They may focus on themselves more than others. Adolescent egocentrism may arise due to the individuation process. Teenagers are often focused on their own concerns and may struggle to see things from the perspective of others.

Going Against Norms

People may rebel against the family or cultural norms. Young people undergoing the individuation process may also seemingly rebel against their parents. If their parents are conservative Christians, for example, the child may begin to develop an interest in Buddhism or announce their interest in atheism. The child may reject conservatism to embrace liberal politics.

Changing Appearance and Style

They may personalize their appearance. During this time, children may dress, style their hair, or listen to music their parents object to. Parents should not take these style decisions personally.

Impact of Individuation

The individuation process can be challenging and sometimes lead to turmoil and conflict for some people. Suppressing or denying the authentic self can, however, lead to distress and problems with self-identity.

Poor individuation can lead to a number of problems. Some of these include:

Children who don’t develop a healthy sense of self may become depressed as adults or have an existential crisis. They may wonder why they chose the career they did or the spouse they have and question if they were really supposed to lead a certain lifestyle. Did they make these choices consciously or listen to what others (namely their parents or caregivers) told them to do?

If people are not sure what they want, they may seek relationships that lack appropriate boundaries and support. They may feel unable to pursue their own interests and goals and instead simply go along with what others want them to do.

Coping With Individuation

Whether you are dealing with a rebellious teen or struggling to get back in touch with your true self, there are things that you can do to help make it easier to cope.

It’s important that parents or caregivers allow children to undergo the individuation process. While parents may want children to live the same way that they do or embrace the same values that they have, they must recognize and respect the fact that their children are unique individuals with their own paths in life.

Create a Safe Space for Exploration

As a parent or caregiver, provide kids the security, space, and support to try out new things. For adults who are looking to reaffirm or reintegrate parts of their identity, work on trying new things before making drastic life changes.

For example, seeking new friendships, trying out new hobbies, or exploring new places can be a way to test out changes you might want to make in your life.

Consider Therapy

Therapy can be a helpful way to address problems with individuation because it involves analyzing and discovering things about yourself and your relationships with others.

In therapy, you’ll be able to:

• Learn to express your feelings
• Identify negative thoughts
• Practice communicating your wants and needs
• Develop skills that will help you express your identity
• Treat underlying problems with stress, anxiety, depression, or other mental health concerns

Recognize That It’s Normal

It’s important to remember that individuation is a completely normal developmental process. Teens and young adults need to explore and try new ideas, styles, beliefs, and attitudes to determine what’s right for them and their lives.

And while this is common during adolescence, it’s something that we go through at other points in our lives as well. It may be particularly likely during big transitions of your life, such as when you move, get married, start a family, or begin a new job.

When to Intervene

There are times when parents or caregivers may need to intervene during the individuation process if teens and tweens are engaging in dangerous or destructive behaviors. Adolescents are known to take risks as they develop into independent people.

Maintain Boundaries

While parents need to respect the differences between their children and them, it’s not necessarily a good idea to give your child too much freedom during this time.

Let them know that you respect that they’re growing into adults, but that recklessness at their age has real-world consequences that can affect them for the rest of their lives.

Set Boundaries

Set boundaries for kids, even as they undergo the individuation process. Children can find a sense of self without resorting to drugs, alcohol, promiscuity or other behaviors that put them at risk.

Seek Help If Needed

As an adult, there are also times when you should seek help if individuation is contributing to risky behaviors. If you are experiencing symptoms of a mental illness such as depression or anxiety, it is important to talk to your doctor. Such conditions may worsen over time, so addressing them early on can help you cope and get back on track.

A midlife crisis is a shift in identity that sometimes affects middle-aged adults between the ages of 40 and 60. At this halfway point in life, people tend to reevaluate their lives and confront their own mortality. For some, this becomes a significant issue that affects their relationships and careers.

This crisis can affect self-concept and self-confidence, leading to changes in moods, behaviors, emotions, and relationships as people cope with the transition to midlife.

It’s thought that aging leads to feelings of depression, remorse, and anxiety. And a midlife crisis is a phase that helps people feel youthful again as they struggle to come to terms with the fact that their lives are half over.

But, the emotional turmoil some people experience during midlife doesn’t always lead to major lifestyle changes that involve the desire to be young again. In fact, a midlife crisis could turn into something positive.

Are Midlife Crises Real?

Some researchers believe the notion of the midlife crisis is a social construct. And it’s the belief that you’re supposed to have some sort of crisis in your 40s that leads some people to say they experience a breakdown.

But not everyone experiences a midlife crisis. In fact, studies show a midlife crisis isn’t an issue for people in many parts of the world.

A national survey of Midlife in the United States conducted a poll to determine how many people experience midlife crises. Approximately 26% of the participants reported having a midlife crisis.

That raises the question about whether these crises were truly related to midlife since midlife is typically considered age 45.

Out of the 1 in 4 people who say they had a midlife crisis, the vast majority say it was brought on by a major event rather than age. Factors that triggered the crisis included life changes such as divorce, job loss, loss of a loved one, or relocation.

Signs of a Midlife Crisis

Since a “midlife crisis” isn’t an official diagnosis, it’s a difficult concept for researchers to study. Researchers often disagree on what constitutes a midlife crisis.

Much of the research depends on individuals’ answers to questions about whether they’ve experienced a midlife crisis. Of course, what one person defines as a crisis may not be consistent with what another person considers to be a midlife crisis.

While it’s typically thought that a midlife crisis involves the fear of mortality or the desire to be young again, the emotions experienced during a midlife crisis may not be all that much different from the distress someone might experience during any other type of life crisis.

Are You in a Midlife Crisis? Take the Quiz

This fast and free midlife crisis quiz can help you figure out if you’re just in a bit of a rut or may be in the midst of a full-blown crisis.

This quiz was reviewed by Rachel Goldman, PhD, FTOS

Causes of a Midlife Crisis

For many people, midlife is a time when relationships and roles are changing. Some people may need to begin caring for aging parents during midlife. Others may become empty nesters—or they may feel as though their teenagers are growing up too fast.

The aging process becomes more apparent than ever during this time as well. Some individuals may develop illnesses, while others may begin to notice a decline in their physical abilities.

For some individuals, midlife may be a time of immense reflection. They may look back over their years and question what their lives might have been like if they’d taken a different path. Some people may regret not choosing a different career path or not creating a life they once dreamed about living. Others may reflect on the happier days in their lives.

For goal-oriented people, there may be less reflection and more action. Rather than look back on years gone by, they may begin scrambling to accomplish bigger goals in the second half of their lives.

The Happiness Slump

Many studies indicate that happiness is U-shaped. A gradual decline in happiness begins during the late teen years and continues until an individual is in their 40s. Happiness begins increasing again in an individual’s 50s.

Data on half a million Americans and Europeans found this trend to be true. Individuals in their 60s reported they’d never been happier, but people in their 40s felt like they were at an all-time low.

This U-shaped curve doesn’t appear to be universal, however. It’s more prevalent in high-income nations. A gradual decline in happiness may explain why some people seem to hit a midlife crisis—they’re in a happiness slump.

Midlife Crisis vs. Depression

Some people may experience depression during midlife and refer to their depressive state as their midlife crisis. Women between the ages of 40 and 59 in the United States have the highest rates of depression (12.3%) of any group based on age and gender, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Suicide rates are highest during middle age—among White men in particular. People between the ages of 45 and 54 are more likely to die by suicide than any other age group.

Does a midlife crisis cause depression? Does depression cause a midlife crisis? Or, is the depression people experience during midlife simply referred to as a midlife crisis?

Similarly, does a midlife crisis increase the risk of suicide? No one knows for certain if a midlife crisis is separate from a mental health crisis that might simply occur during any stage of an individual’s life.

Positive Aspects of a Midlife Crisis

A 2016 study published in the International Journal of Behavioral Development found an upside to the midlife crisis—curiosity. Researchers found that people who were experiencing a crisis—whether it was a quarter-life or a midlife crisis—experienced enhanced curiosity about themselves and the wider world around them. 

The distress and uncertainty participants experienced brought about openness to new ideas, which could bring insight and creative solutions. That curiosity could lead to new breakthroughs or new opportunities, which might be the silver lining in the midst of a crisis.

When to Get Help for a Midlife Crisis

Midlife turmoil might bring about positive changes that don’t require professional help. Perhaps you become more spiritual or maybe you decide to begin volunteering so you feel as though your life has more meaning.

But it could also take a toll on your well-being. If you find yourself experiencing a psychological crisis during midlife, you shouldn’t treat it differently than any other emotional crisis. If you experience distressing symptoms that impair your functioning, seek professional help.

If you’re thinking of making some major life changes, like ending a long-term relationship, switching careers, or relocating—and your desire to make those changes stems from inner turmoil related to midlife—it could be a good idea to talk to a mental health professional before taking the leap.

How to Help Someone Experiencing a Midlife Crisis

If you suspect a friend or family member may be experiencing a midlife crisis, there are several things you can do to be supportive:

• Be a good listener: Let your loved one talk about their distress. Listen in a nonjudgmental way and hold off on offering advice in the beginning.
• Express your concern: Avoid saying things like, “You seem to be having a midlife crisis.” Instead, ask questions that don’t shame or place blame. Say something like, “You don’t seem like yourself lately. Are you OK?”
• Talk about the importance of getting help: Encourage the person to talk to their physician. Keep in mind that there could be a medical issue behind the changes you see. A thyroid condition, for example, might cause a change in mood. Or, you might be seeing early signs of dementia. A physician can rule out medical issues and determine if a referral to a mental health professional is warranted.
• Get help for yourself: If someone close to you refuses to seek help, get help for yourself. Talking to a mental health professional can help you develop a plan that allows you to be supportive of the other individual while also setting healthy boundaries for yourself.
• Seek immediate assistance if someone is suicidal: If someone is threatening to harm themselves or other people, intervene immediately. If necessary, take the individual to the emergency room for an evaluation. If the person refuses to go to the hospital, call an ambulance and do not leave the individual unattended.