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Those suffering from insomnia are found to be up to 10 times more likely to experience depression and nearly 17 times more likely to experience anxiety. Yet, so many of us aren’t getting the rest we need, with 1 in 3 U.S. adults stating they aren’t getting enough sleep. Even more concerning is the fact that about 40% of Americans accidentally fall asleep at least once a month, potentially putting themselves and others in danger.

Here’s one of the biggest issues of all: This lack of sleep is happening amidst the backdrop of a culture that is increasingly obsessed with self-care. If you’ve been disheartened that none of your attempts at healthier habits have been sticking despite your best efforts, it’s time to assess your sleep.

Why Sleep Is Necessary for Mental Clarity and Motivation

Creating a new habit means breaking an old one. How many times have we vowed to decrease our screen time only to find ourselves with our phone in hand later that day?

Impulse control is important because when we are conscious of urges that go against our goals and desired actions, we can combat the temptation.

The Science Behind Habit Loops and Sleep

A habit is a behavior that can begin out of nowhere but is reinforced through repetitive behavior. For example, we may pick up our phone randomly one morning and open a social media app. While scrolling, we realize it is a comfortable way to procrastinate and distract ourselves from early morning grogginess.

The next morning, we do the same. Quickly, a habit is formed. There are equal parts of beauty and concern regarding how quickly habits are formed. If you can catch a bad habit quickly, surely you can build a healthier one just as quickly, right? The power of habits and the act of breaking old ones to build new ones isn’t that simple. 

Common Sleep Disruptors That Derail Habit Progress

There’s a high possibility that some of our daily activities may be impacting our quality of sleep and, subsequently, derailing our habit progress. These are some common contenders:

• Alcohol within a few hours of going to bed: While a glass of wine or a cocktail might be an appealing wind-down activity, it can lead to disruptive sleep.
• Coffee/tea: The same above goes for caffeine, as well.
• Blue light: Watching television or scrolling on your phone can make it difficult to fall asleep. As tempting as it may be to veg out on a tech device of your choice, reading or meditation is a much healthier option.
• Eating meals irregularly: Not eating enough during the day can lead to an extra hefty dinner. If the dinner is too close to your bedtime, you may be doomed to a late night as your stomach takes time to digest.

Sleep Hygiene Tips to Support Behavior Change

Now that you’re aware of your sleep issues that might be inhibiting your ability to start and sustain new habits, let’s look at solutions. We turned to Mandy Heisler Cornelius, LCSW, psychotherapist and owner at Mindful Therapy Collective, for some insight. Here are her recommendations:

• Establish a digital curfew for yourself. An hour before bedtime, try turning off the television or stopping the scrolling and instead opting for reading, deep breathing, or stretching. “If this feels intimidating, you can always start small, like putting your phone in a different room or away from your nightstand,” Cornelius says.
• Throughout the day, notice how you’re fueling your body. Are you reaching for an afternoon coffee? Be careful, as this could keep you up at night. Are you skipping meals? Try to keep them regulated throughout the day so you aren’t going all in a few hours before sleep.
• Prepare for middle-of-the-night wakeups. “If someone wakes up in the middle of the night and can’t fall back asleep, I recommend that they move to another part of their house and read for a while until they start to feel sleepy again,” shares psychologist Molly Moore, PhD. This simple change of locations can help the brain associate the bed with sleep, instead of stress.

Creating New Habits

Now that your sleep is in check, let’s look at how you can refine your habits. Keep in mind that getting your bedtime routine down is a form of creating a habit. Use that as a testing ground to see how you respond to creating new habits. Track your progress along the way and see what triggers make you want to give up on building a new habit. This can give you plenty of material to adjust your behavior. 

Consider taking the approach of habit stacking. This is when you stack a habit with a daily ritual you have to do every day. For example, walking outside to get some sunlight on your face while you brush your teeth is one. Another idea is to journal for five minutes before pouring your morning cup of coffee. Eventually, you can build these habits to help you achieve your mental, physical, and even professional goals. Practice makes perfect, but a good night’s sleep and a solid plan make it all happen.

Feeling tired? You’re not alone. A third of adults in the United States aren’t getting enough sleep every day. Even more concerning is that almost 40% of adults are accidentally falling asleep throughout the day.

Even with sleeping routines that involve mindfulness, dimmed lighting, and an absence of blue light before bed, you still may feel the need for more. Luckily, we found a five-minute habit that can take your bedtime routine a step further: sleep journaling. 

What Is a Sleep Journal?

A sleep journal offers an opportunity to track details about your sleep habits and provide space for you to process feelings that come up for you throughout your experiences of sleeping. While a sleep tracking app prompts you to note when you fell asleep, when you woke up, and how often you woke up throughout the night, a sleep journal encourages you to go a step deeper. 

Your journaling experience will begin before you go to bed by exploring pre-bedtime prompts. These can be simple notes on feelings you’re having about unsuccessful attempts at sleeping. It can also be as general as how your day went and things you’re grateful for.

How Will Keeping a Sleep Journal Help Me?

A sleep journal will help you boost your sleep awareness. If you can learn more about your typical sleep behavior and triggers, you can take steps to get better sleep. While you’ll want to note basic details about when you go to bed and wake up, you will also want to note when you exercise, drink alcohol, and consume caffeine.

The main goal is to help your mind slow down, process any pre-sleep anxiety you’re having, and take in key data regarding your sleep throughout the night. You can then bring this data to your doctor and therapist to better understand your body and mind. Equipped with this information, your providers can help you ease into a more restful sleep routine.

Getting Started With a Sleep Journal

We’re here to help you get set up for journaling success. When getting started, format is key. A good format will help you stay organized and keep you engaged in your journal routine.

We recommend using a page just for sleep data. This is where you’ll note the times you had caffeine, alcohol, and exercised throughout the day. You will also jot down when you went to bed, what times you woke up throughout the night, and when you woke up for the day. Then, use another page to reflect on some journaling prompts.

Sleep Journal Prompts

We’ve included some of our favorite prompts for you to consider – you can stick to one every night or change it up based on what feels resonant day-to-day. 

What was your favorite part of the day? Least favorite?

This prompt is designed to have you process your day, allowing you to leave it behind before laying your head to rest.

Write down three things you’re grateful for.

Gratitude is clinically proven to boost health outcomes and lower inflammation.

What is your intention for tomorrow?

Allowing yourself to focus on the positive, especially the positive you’d like to bring in for the day ahead, may help you rest a bit more peacefully. 

Freestyle: Set a timer for five minutes and free write, taking note of everything on your mind.

Take anything that has the potential to become a racing thought and get it out onto the page. 

Getting a Routine in Place

Let’s explore some other habits you can implement alongside sleep journaling for a strong bedtime routine.

“As a psychotherapist, I emphasize that good sleep hygiene starts well before bedtime,” begins licensed marriage and family therapist and owner of Sagebrush Psychotherapy Ciara Bogdanovic. She recommends dimming lights, turning off screens 30 to 60 minutes before bed, and visualization techniques.

“One effective approach is to imagine thoughts as clouds drifting across the sky or as leaves floating down a stream,” she shares. As you rest in this visualization, you will simply observe the clouds or leaves rather than engaging with them. “This separation helps reduce mental activation and creates space for rest,” she continues. Try weaving this exercise in with the rest of your pre-bedtime activities.

Progress, Not Perfection

While sleep hygiene is important, don’t be too rigid, cautions sleep specialist Jessica Fink, LCSW-S, from Jessica Fink Therapy. “One of the biggest culprits in difficulty sleeping is something called sleep effort, which is essentially striving to sleep,” she explains. She continues by sharing that it is crucial to disengage when you attempt to fall asleep.

This ties in with an important caveat licensed professional counselor Kasryn Kapp from BodyMind Alliance Counseling shares. “Sleep hygiene is great for prevention, but for those with full-blown insomnia, focusing on sleep hygiene can backfire.” It is crucial to make sure you’re collaborating with a professional if you’re experiencing more significant sleep issues. They can help determine if your sleep concerns are insomnia and lead you to a better solution.

We all know firsthand how cranky and spaced-out it’s possible to get from lack of sleep. But you might not know that sleep can play a key role in personal and emotional growth.

While sleep can feel like a passive activity, there’s a lot of important stuff going on while you sleep. Your emotional and psychological development and ability to weather the challenges that life inevitably throws at you are tied to the quality and consistency of your sleep.

We connected with two sleep experts to give us the low-down on how sleep can help us grow and become more resilient.

How Sleep Promotes Growth

“Sleep is one of the most underrated tools we have for managing emotions and making sense of the world,” says Raj Dasgupta, MD, a quadruple board-certified physician specializing in internal medicine, sleep, pulmonology, critical care, and chief medical advisor for Sleepopolis.

How does this work? “While you sleep, especially during deep and REM sleep, your brain processes emotional experiences, stores important memories, and literally reshapes itself to adapt and grow,” Dr. Dasgupta describes.

But here’s the thing: this process only works correctly when you get enough consistent and quality sleep. “If you’re sleeping in fragments or not getting enough, that emotional processing gets cut short, and your brain doesn’t get a chance to reset,” Dr. Dasgupta says.

Tarik Hadzic, MD, PhD, child, adolescent, and adult psychiatrist and medical director for Newport Healthcare OCD Services, says that sleep plays an important role in promoting neuroplasticity, which refers to your brain’s ability to adapt and grow in response to experiences and challenges. “Sleep is essential in supporting this because it eliminates unnecessary connections and strengthens important neural connections formed when you are awake,” says Dr. Hadzic.

The Role of REM Sleep in Emotional Processing

Throughout the night, we all move through four main stages of sleep. Three of these stages are non-REM sleep, and the last stage is REM sleep, which is when you dream.

You move through these stages four to six times during the night. A typical sleep cycle looks like this:

All of the stages of sleep are important, and deep sleep is particularly important for restoring your body’s overall health. But REM sleep in particular—dreaming sleep—is when you process many of your experiences.

“REM sleep plays a very important role in emotional processing by helping the brain sort, store, and make sense of emotional experience,” Dr. Hadzic says. “During REM, the brain reactivates emotional memories in a safe, dream-like state, which helps reduce the emotional intensity and supports better emotional regulation when awake.”

REM sleep is also a time when memories and experiences from your day are processed and moved into your long-term memory storage. This makes it easier for you to recall information and helps you use it to adapt to life challenges, based on your past experiences, Dr. Hadzic adds.

While you sleep, the part of your brain linked to memory and emotion stays active, but the stress-related areas (e.g., the amygdala) is dialed down somewhat, according to Dr. Dasgupta. This helps you gain a fresh perspective on things by the time you wake up in the morning.

Sleep and Therapy Outcomes

The great thing about therapy is that it can not only help with personal growth but also with sleep itself—and better sleep means better emotional regulation, emotional processing, and growth.

“Therapy and sleep go hand in hand,” says Dr. Dasgupta. First of all, therapy can help you if you’re having trouble getting your ZZZs.  “If racing thoughts or unresolved emotions are keeping you up, therapy, especially something like cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I), can help calm that mental noise,” Dr. Dasgupta recommends. CBT-I is a type of therapy designed for sleep issues specifically, and research has shown it to be equally effective as sleep medications, except without side effects.

But therapy does more than help you sleep better. “Beyond just sleeping better, therapy helps you get curious about your habits, your triggers, and the patterns that might be playing out in your dreams or your day,” Dr. Dasgupta says. “Better sleep makes it easier to do deep emotional work, and that work often helps improve your sleep. It’s a feedback loop in the best way.”

Tips for Aligning Sleep With Personal Growth Efforts

So what’s the best way to make the most of your sleep, and to align it with your personal growth efforts and goals? Dr. Dasgupta shared his top tips:

• Journaling. Trying journaling before bed to “spill” your thoughts out of your head and onto paper. “It’s a simple habit that can ease anxiety and help your brain wind down,” Dr. Dasgupta says.
• Bedtime boundaries. It’s vital to have clear boundaries around your bedtime and to prioritize and protect it just as you would other self-care strategies like working out or going to therapy. This also means limiting screens before bed and saying no to nighttime stress triggers.
• Pay attention to your dreams. Your dreams are a gateway to your subconscious and what’s going on beneath the surface. Take note of what your dreams might be telling you. Consider keeping a dream journal.
• Emotional check-in before bed. “Use your bedtime routine as a mini check-in, a chance to breathe, reflect, and tell your nervous system it’s safe to rest,” Dr. Dasgupta suggests.
• Notice patterns. Take note of any usual patterns in your sleep. For example, if it’s disrupted often, there might be something emotional going on that’s worth paying attention to.

Bottom Line

It’s easy to think you can push through life and go without sleep. In some circles, existing on little sleep is thought of as a good thing—a sign that you are strong and can persevere through challenges. But the truth is that getting enough sleep is actually what makes you stronger and more resilient. High-quality sleep is one key ingredient in the secret sauce of personal growth and resilience.

If you are struggling with your sleep or are looking for more ways to use sleep for growth, please don’t hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional for support.

Getting to sleep should be easy after a long day, but for many people, it’s anything but. Some nights, it’s as if your mind decides to store every single thought—including cringe-y moments and difficult problems—the second your head hits the pillow. And other nights you’re left tossing and turning for no good reason at all. 

Plenty of products tout a sleeping cure, but what are the natural sleep helpers that really work? We spoke with two experts, including Andrea Matsumura, MD, a fellow of the American Academy of Sleep Medicine (FAASM) and board-certified psychologist Brooke Choulet, MD. 

Herbal Teas 

Don’t knock an herbal nightcap until you’ve tried it. “Chamomile and valerian can have mild calming effects,” Dr. Matsumura says. “I like them because they’re safe for most and can be a helpful part of a bedtime routine.”

In a study published in 2017, the use of chamomile extract was shown to improve sleep quality in elderly people. And a 2006 systematic review and meta-analysis showed that valerian root can potentially improve sleep quality.

Magnesium

Similarly, a magnesium supplement makes for the perfect pre-bedtime ritual, gently calming your body and mind so you can drift off more easily. This calming mineral helps relax your muscles, quiets the nervous system, and even supports melatonin production, which are all key for better shut-eye. A 2024 study found that magnesium supplements can support better sleep and improve mood.

Essential Oils

Essential oils can be helpful to promote relaxation when used in aromatherapy applications. “Scents like lavender can reduce anxiety and promote relaxation, which may help ease the transition to sleep,” Dr. Matsumura says. “It’s really less about the oil itself and more about the ritual: pairing a calming scent with a consistent nighttime routine can signal to your brain that it’s time to wind down.” 

Dr. Choulet tells us that a control trial found that the combination of lavender and sleep hygiene together improved sleep quality for college students with self-reported sleep issues. On that note, having a nighttime ritual is surprisingly effective when it comes to falling asleep.

“Engaging in a consistent wind-down routine in the evenings can be helpful in indicating to the body and mind that it’s almost time to sleep,” Dr. Choulet explains. “This can include limiting screen time an hour before bed and engaging in a relaxing activity, such as reading.” A hot bath or shower, a skincare routine, or even a few minutes of gentle stretching are great for promoting relaxation ahead of bedtime.

Weighted Blankets 

More than a trend or Instagram photo opp, weighted blankets are backed by research for their calming, sleep-promoting effects. Dr. Choulet says, “Weighted blankets can help reduce anxiety by stimulating pressure receptors, which mimic the calming effects of a hug.” 

A 2024 study concluded that weighted blankets may improve sleep quality and ease negative emotions and daytime symptoms in people with sleep disorders, ADHD, autism, and similar conditions—likely due to the calming effects of deep pressure touch.

Sleep Masks 

It feels like a bougie splurge, but wearing a sleep mask to bed can help you get to sleep and improve the overall quality of your sleep. If you don’t like the feeling of a mask on your face, then blackout curtains have a similar effect. “A dark room is important to maintain a regulated circadian rhythm,” Dr. Matsumura notes. 

White Noise Machines 

Noise can easily pull you out of a restful slumber, or prevent you from falling asleep in the first place. White noise machines work by masking disruptive sounds with consistent, soothing background noise, helping your brain tune out interruptions and settle into sleep. These are especially helpful if you live in a noisy environment, have roommates, or are easily affected by sounds.

The Importance of Sleep

Sleep is integral to our health, and when we don’t get enough, things can go sideways in a number of surprising ways. 

“Sleep is essential to optimal recovery, which directly impacts how we perform in life,” says Dr. Choulet. “Sleep has a role in regulating mood, consolidating memory, restoring energy, and even repairing cellular damage.” 

She adds that when people don’t get enough sleep, they’re more likely to experience anxiety and depression, may have impaired immune function, and are at an increased risk of cardiovascular disease, as well as diabetes, mood disorders, and cognitive decline. 

When to Seek Medical Support

If your sleep difficulties persist over the course of several weeks, and/or if decreased sleep is leading to impaired functioning during the day, it’s important to consult a sleep medicine physician. Dr. Choulet says there can be additional causes of insomnia, as well, that may need further evaluation to best recommend treatment.

Last night, I woke up, looked at the clock, and it was 2:57 a.m. I’m not groggy or feeling the need to go back to sleep. It’s as though I was ready to take on the day. But I’ve only had about four hours of sleep, and I usually need at least seven to feel fully rested. What’s going on?

What Causes Those 3 A.M. Wake-Ups?

 There can be many reasons someone wakes up around 3 a.m.

Natural Sleep Cycle

Julia Kogan, PsyD, health psychologist and stress and insomnia specialist, explains that it is common for people to wake up between sleep cycles. Sleep cycles last approximately 90–100 minutes, and we typically return to light sleep at the beginning of the next sleep cycle. This is usually the time when we naturally wake up. During the second half of the night, sleep becomes lighter; therefore, we’re more likely to wake up around 3 a.m. since we’ve completed two to three sleep cycles.

“[Waking up at 3 a.m.] is quite natural for many people. People may wake up between sleep cycles earlier in the night, but because sleep is generally lighter, they are more likely to remember waking up….than earlier in the night. As long as someone can go back to sleep with relative ease, this is generally not considered to be a problem,” says Dr. Kogan.

Conditioned Insomnia

Annie Miller, LCSW-C, therapist and owner of DC Metro Therapy, says that conditioned insomnia is one of the most common — yet overlooked — reasons people wake up at 3 a.m. This happens when your brain learns to expect wakefulness at a certain time, often after a period of stress, disrupted sleep, or frequent nighttime awakenings. Even once the original trigger is gone, your brain may continue to “wake you up on schedule,” reinforcing the cycle night after night.

Cortisol Fluctuations

Nilou Esmaeilpour, MSc, RCC, clinical director, registered clinical counselor, and founder of Lotus Therapy, shares that cortisol bursts are apt to occur at this time as part of the normal circadian rhythm. For someone who is already in a state of hyper-stress, a cortisol burst will awaken them.

Miller adds that cortisol naturally rises in the early morning to prepare you for waking. But when your nervous system is dysregulated — due to anxiety, chronic stress, or trauma — this rise can happen too early or too sharply, causing premature wake-ups.

Stress, Anxiety and Depression

Miller explains that stressful life events can make your brain more alert during lighter stages of sleep, especially around 3 a.m., when your sleep is more fragile.

“If someone is experiencing chronic worry, particularly the kind that manifests as ruminating thoughts about work, relationships, or health, it can lead to early morning awakenings,” explains Esmaeilpour.

“Most people need between seven to nine hours of sleep…[but if] someone is trying to sleep or staying in bed for…longer than they need, their body will wake up and stay awake because it does not need that much sleep,” says Dr. Kogan.

Meals and Blood Sugar

What and when you eat or drink can impact your sleep. Dr. Kogan says that heavy meals or consuming liquids before bed can lead to lighter and more interrupted sleep with awakenings in the second half of the night. Esmaeilpour adds that a drop in blood sugar can cause someone to wake up, especially if they have an early dinner or drink alcohol before bedtime.

Medical Conditions

Lastly, medical conditions can also contribute to frequent night awakenings. Miller shares that during perimenopause, fluctuations in estrogen and progesterone can cause hot flashes and night sweats that disrupt sleep in the early morning hours.

“Menopause is associated with middle-of-the-night and early morning awakenings….Breathing disorders, pain, cardiovascular issues, and neurological disorders can cause frequent awakenings. Medications associated with these conditions can also cause nighttime awakenings,” says Dr. Kogan.

What Not to Do at 3 A.M.

At that moment when I woke up, I was so tempted to check my phone and do a bit of light doomscrolling. But I didn’t. Instead, I got into a cozy pose, tried to clear my head, and fell back asleep. Dr. Kogan advises avoiding devices and focusing on relaxing the mind and body.

Miller shares other don’ts when trying to fall back asleep:

• Don’t lie in bed awake: If you haven’t fallen back asleep within 15 to 20 minutes, get out of bed. Staying in bed trains your brain to associate it with wakefulness (and stress about not sleeping), not rest.
• Don’t look at the clock: Checking the time adds pressure and keeps your brain in problem-solving mode, which makes sleep even more elusive.
• Don’t try to force sleep: Sleep happens when we let go, not when we chase it. If you focus on resting and distracting yourself gently, sleep is more likely to return on its own.

Grounding Techniques to Fall Back Asleep

Grounding techniques that involve connecting with your body can help you fall back asleep during this moment. Esmaeilpour explains that body-based practices include feeling the weight of your body against the bed, watching your breath, scanning the room, or putting a hand over your heart to provide gentle touch.

“Mild to moderate gentle movements such as pressing feet into the mattress, soft humming, and gentle rocking of hips can help to re-establish a sense of grounding. Merely being aware of your body, as it is, without the urge to change anything, can be very soothing,” says Esmaeilpour.

Dr. Kogan shares that if someone wakes up briefly without an overly active mind, it can be helpful to visualize a floating object, such as a 3D shape or peaceful imagery or something else that does not overly activate the mind, but can keep the mind from starting to overthink. If the mind or body has started to become active or there is tension in the body, then deep breathing and progressive muscle relaxation can be effective. 

When to Seek Help for Chronic Interruptions

Esmaeilpour says that if this kind of awakening happens more than three nights a week for over a month and affects your daytime well-being, it may be a sign of deeper nervous system dysregulation. 

“Working with a therapist who understands the connection between the mind and body can help address both the sleep disruption and the underlying causes, supporting more restful nights and greater emotional resilience,” advises Esmaeilpour.