Why People Submit to Narcissists


Key Takeaways

  • When talking about narcissism, a flying monkey is a person who helps the abuser by defending their behavior and manipulating others on their behalf.
  • People become flying monkeys due to codependence, fear of rejection, or deception.
  • Recognizing and setting firm boundaries with flying monkeys is key to protecting your emotional well-being.

When people discuss narcissists, they sometimes use the phrase ‘flying monkeys.’ The term is used to describe people who perform the bidding of a narcissist or abuser, similar to the winged servants of the Wicked Witch in “The Wizard of Oz.” They did the bidding for the Wicked Witch in much the same way as people might ‘work’ for a narcissist—hence the term being used to describe these people.

Narcissists might use their friends or family—or even yours—as spies, or to spread rumors, making them act as substitutes for themselves. People who become flying monkeys are often codependent and have been drawn into the narcissist’s false narrative. They may spread rumors, defend the abuse, and manipulate others, often without even realizing that they’re being used.

The Roles of a Flying Monkey

Flying monkeys often perform several roles at the behest of the narcissist, including:

  • Spreading lies and gossip: Flying monkeys help the narcissist achieve their goals by sharing targeted information about the target of the abuse.
  • Forming a shared fantasy: The flying monkey becomes a part of the narcissist’s false narrative, helping to shape a shared, but distorted, reality that allows the person to feel special or unique.
  • Acting as a weapon: The narcissist uses the flying monkey as a weapon to attack and control the target of the abuse. This often happens through intimidation or manipulation.
  • Enabling abusive behavior: Flying monkeys defend, dismiss, or excuse the narcissist’s abusive behavior.

Flying monkeys are an example of narcissistic triangulation. Triangulation is a behavior in which a person involves a third person in a conflict or social situation to gain control over or manipulate the target person.

Why People Become Flying Monkeys

There’s no easy answer here, as there could be any number of reasons. Often, narcissists will begin ‘grooming’ their flying monkeys from the beginning, testing the relationship between you and them.

They can flip things, making people believe that they’re the ones being abused, rather than it being the other way around. 

  • People-pleasing: Flying monkeys are often people-pleasers. They want to be helpful and don’t want to disappoint the narcissist, particularly if they’re a friend or relative.
  • Fear and coercion: It’s also likely that they’ve been manipulated or coerced by the narcissist themselves, or fear them and submit to them, so they don’t become a target themselves.
  • Denial: They could be in denial, or “simply lack the emotional intelligence or empathy to understand the harm they’re participating in,” explains Lauren Kerwin, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist. Often, flying monkeys fulfill their role without actually realizing it, or genuinely believing that the narcissist is in the right because they’re taken in by them and their perspective.
  • NPD: Somebody with narcissistic personality disorder might be a flying monkey. In this case, a narcissist might submit to another one if there’s something in it for them, be it money, power, or the hope of overtaking them in the future. 
  • Anxiety: People with anxiety might be drawn to the power and confidence the narcissist projects
  • Codependence: Codependent people may like to serve a narcissist as a way of feeling purpose and satisfaction with their life. 

Sometimes, flying monkeys will have conditions or disorders that make them more susceptible. However, this certainly doesn’t mean that everybody with a certain condition will be a flying monkey.

How Can You Tell If Someone Is a Flying Monkey?

“It’s often difficult to recognize a flying monkey,” explains Kerwin, “as they may seem like normal people who are simply taking sides in a disagreement or conflict.”

Signs Someone Is a Flying Monkey

However, Dr. Kerwin outlines a few key tell-tale signs to look out for:

  • They side with the narcissist no matter the situation or evidence presented to them.
  • They spread gossip or rumors about you.
  • They gaslight or manipulate you.
  • They dismiss or trivialize your feelings.
  • They pass on information about you to help the narcissist harass you.

Flying monkeys could be friends or associates of the narcissist, friends or associates of you, or people you think of as authority figures.

How to Deal With Them

Dealing with flying monkeys isn’t always going to be easy. However, Dr. Kerwin suggests some strategies that you can try. 

  • Be firm with boundaries.
  • Avoid confrontation, as it can create drama.
  • Get support from trusted loved ones or a mental health professional.
  • Document any incidents of abuse/harassment, as this could be useful if you involve the authorities.
  • Limit contact as much as you can.

It might be difficult to follow these steps, particularly if you’re leaving a relationship with a narcissist or cutting them out of your life. They may send flying monkeys after you, and limiting contact entirely may not be possible. However, it’s important to be as firm as you can when you set boundaries and avoid confrontation where possible.

Before you cut a narcissist out of your life or end your relationship, make a plan and a list of reasons why you’re leaving the relationship. This is a good idea because the narcissist and their flying monkeys can distort reality, causing you to question yourself, too.

If you’re having to deal with flying monkeys, whether the narcissist is still in your life or not, you may benefit from speaking to a mental health professional. They can offer you help and advice tailored to your circumstances and situation. They can help you manage in the aftermath if you decide to end the relationship, as narcissistic abuse can have long-term mental health effects.


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An Overview of Assimilation in Psychology

Key Takeaways

  • Assimilation helps us adapt by adding new information to what we already know.
  • Assimilation and accommodation work together to help us learn and adjust to new information.

Assimilation is the cognitive process of making new information fit in with your existing understanding of the world. Essentially, with assimilation, when you encounter something new, you process and make sense of it by relating it to things you already know.

There are many benefits of adapting to the world around you, such as through assimilation, which includes building increased resilience. Keep reading to learn more about how assimilation works and examples of this process.

How Assimilation Works

Assimilation refers to a part of the adaptation process initially proposed by Jean Piaget. Through assimilation, we take in new information or experiences and incorporate them into our existing ideas. The process is somewhat subjective because we tend to modify experiences or information to fit our pre-existing beliefs.

In assimilation, children make sense of the world by applying what they already know. It involves fitting reality and what they experience into their current cognitive structure. A child’s understanding of how the world works, therefore, filters and influences how they interpret reality.

In early childhood, children are constantly assimilating new information and experiences into their existing knowledge about the world. However, this process does not end there. As people encounter new things and interpret these experiences throughout life, they make both small and large adjustments to their existing ideas of the world around them.

Assimilation plays an important role in how we learn about the world around us, both in childhood and in our adult life.

Assimilation vs. Accommodation

Piaget believed that there are two basic ways that we can adapt to new experiences and information: assimilation and accommodation.

Assimilation is the easiest adaptation method because it does not require a lot of adjustment. Through this process, we add new information to our existing knowledge base, sometimes reinterpreting new experiences so they will fit in with existing information.

For example, imagine your neighbors have a child you have always known to be sweet, polite, and kind. One day, you glance out your window and see the child throwing a snowball at your car. It seems out of character and rather rude.

How do you interpret this new information? If you use the process of assimilation, you might dismiss the child’s behavior, believing that it’s something they witnessed a classmate doing and they do not mean to be impolite.

You’re not revising your opinion of the child during assimilation; you are simply adding new information to your existing knowledge. The child is still kind, but now you know they also have a mischievous side to their personality.

If you were to utilize the accommodation method of adaptation described by Piaget, the young child’s behavior might cause you to reevaluate your opinion of them. With accommodation, old ideas are changed or even replaced based on new information.

Assimilation and accommodation work in tandem as part of the learning process. Some information is incorporated into our existing schemas through the process of assimilation, while other information leads to the development of new schemas or total transformations of existing ideas through the process of accommodation.

Equilibration

Piaget also believed that as children learn, they strike a balance between the use of assimilation and accommodation. This process, known as equilibration, allows children to find a balance between applying their existing knowledge and adapting their behavior to new information.

According to Piaget, the learning process involves the following:

  • Assimilation: Attempting to interpret new information within the framework of existing knowledge
  • Accommodation: Making small changes to that knowledge to cope with things that don’t fit those existing frameworks
  • Equilibration: Eventually adjusting existing schemas or forming new ones to adjust to a new understanding

Assimilation and accommodation are complementary learning processes that play a role at each stage of cognitive development. During the sensorimotor stage, for example, some information is assimilated, while some experiences must be accommodated. It is through these processes that infants, children, and adolescents gain new knowledge and progress through the stages of development.

Examples of Assimilation

Piaget did not believe that children just passively take in information. He argued that they actively try to make sense of the world, constantly forming new ideas and experimenting with those ideas. Examples of assimilation include:

  • A child sees a new breed of dog they’ve never seen before and immediately points to it and says, “Dog!”
  • A chef learns a new cooking technique
  • A computer programmer learns a new programming language

Another common example would be how children learn about different types of animals. A child might begin with a schema for a dog, which in the child’s mind, is a small, four-legged animal.

When the child encounters a horse, they might assimilate this information and immediately call the animal a dog. The process of accommodation then allows the child to adapt the existing schema to incorporate the knowledge that some four-legged animals are horses.

As the child encounters new information in the world, it can be assimilated or accommodated into this existing schema.

In each of these examples, the individual is adding information to their existing schema. Remember, if new experiences cause the person to alter or completely change their existing beliefs, then it is known as accommodation.

Reasons for Assimilation

Assimilation can be viewed as a mental shortcut that lets us process and categorize massive amounts of information at one time. It plays a significant role in allowing humans to adapt to and learn about their environment—especially during childhood when we’re constantly learning new things.

Of course, assimilation can have its drawbacks. There are times when new information doesn’t neatly fit into an existing category or schema in our minds, which may lead to errors in judgment.

An example would be a child calling a skunk a “kitty.” However, when the child is taught that this animal is, in fact, a skunk, the animal will be removed from their existing cat schema and enter a new mental category.

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
  1. Di Paolo EA, Barandiaran XE, Beaton M, Buhrmann T. Learning to perceive in the sensorimotor approach: Piaget’s theory of equilibration interpreted dynamically. Front Hum Neurosci. 2014;8:551. doi:10.3389/fnhum.2014.00551

  2. Ensor JE, Park SE, Attwood SJ, Kaminski AM, Johnson JE. Can community-based adaptation increase resilience? Climate Develop. 2018;10(2):134-151. doi:10.1080/17565529.2016.1223595

  3. Lather R. A review of cognitive development: The theory of Jean Piaget. Innov Res Thoughts. 2017;3(11):99-1027.

  4. Haratsis JM, Creed PA, Hood M. Measuring assimilative and accommodative resources in young adults: Development and initial validation of suitable scales. Personal Indiv Diff. 2015;81:61-66. doi:10.1016/j.paid.2014.12.011

  5. Bormanaki HB, Khoshhal Y. The role of equilibration in Piaget’s theory of cognitive development and its implication for receptive skills: A theoretical study. J Lang Teach Res. 2017;8(5):996. doi:10.17507/jltr.0805.22

Kendra Cherry

By Kendra Cherry, MSEd

Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the “Everything Psychology Book.”


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Ativan Withdrawal: Symptoms, Timeline, and Treatment


Key Takeaways

  • Do not stop taking Ativan suddenly; work with your doctor to taper off slowly.
  • Ativan withdrawal symptoms can appear as soon as eight to twelve hours after stopping or reducing the dose. 

Ativan (lorazepam) is a prescription drug used to treat anxiety disorders, seizures, and insomnia. As a benzodiazepine, discontinuing Ativan use can result in withdrawal symptoms such as headache, heart palpitations, sweating, muscle pain and stiffness, and more.

If you’re concerned about Ativan withdrawal, here’s what you need to know about its signs and symptoms, warnings, and long-term treatment. We also share ways to cope with Ativan withdrawal symptoms, providing some relief.

Verywell / Emily Roberts  

About Ativan Dependence

Ativan belongs to a class of drugs called benzodiazepines. Benzodiazepines are central nervous system depressants that have a sedating and relaxing effect. These medications can also lead to tolerance and dependence, even when taken at therapeutic doses.

Ativan is one of the most widely prescribed benzodiazepines. In 2017, doctors wrote almost 26.5 million prescriptions for Ativan alone. As of 2018, an estimated 5.4 million people over the age of 12 misused prescription benzodiazepines like Ativan. Ativan can lead to dependence even if you take it exactly as prescribed.

Dependence vs. Addiction

It is important to note that dependence is not the same as addiction. If you become physically dependent on a substance, it means that you will experience withdrawal symptoms if you stop taking the medication. Addiction, on the other hand, involves repeated use despite negative consequences.

Many people take Ativan regularly for years without realizing how dependent they have become. It is only when withdrawal symptoms emerge after they try to stop taking the medication that this dependence becomes clear.

Overview of Ativan Withdrawal

Benzodiazepines like Ativan were originally intended for short-term use, but their long-term use for anxiety and insomnia has become more commonplace. The issue is that taking Ativan for as little as three to six weeks, even at therapeutic doses, can cause physical dependence and mild withdrawal symptoms.

Ativan withdrawal can be a challenging, uncomfortable experience. Around 40% of people on benzodiazepines for more than six months have moderate to severe withdrawal symptoms if they stop taking the drug abruptly. The other 60% have mild symptoms.

The severity of withdrawal symptoms is also associated with your current dose. If you are on a high dose of Ativan or if you mix Ativan with other benzodiazepines, your withdrawal symptoms may be more severe.

Ativan Withdrawal Timeline

When your daily dose of Ativan is suddenly stopped or significantly reduced, withdrawal symptoms can appear in as little as eight to 12 hours. Acute symptoms or lorazepam withdrawal typically last between one and four weeks.

Research indicates that the severity and duration of withdrawal symptoms depend on the medication’s half-life, how long it was taken, and the daily dose used. Although, you can expect to feel extremely anxious and irritable for several weeks.

The anxiety you feel during Ativan withdrawal will probably be worse than the level of anxiety you were experiencing before you started taking it, a phenomenon known as the rebound effect. Insomnia can compound the effects of anxiety and it can feel like your sleep patterns will never return to normal.

It has been estimated that anywhere from 10 to 25% of people who take benzodiazepines for long periods experience what’s known as protracted withdrawal. Protracted withdrawal involves milder symptoms that come and go for several months. It’s not easy, but it typically resolves on its own within one year. 

Signs and Symptoms of Ativan Withdrawal

Some of the most common benzodiazepine withdrawal symptoms include:

  • Anxiety or panic attacks
  • Cognitive issues (trouble with memory or concentration)
  • Confusion
  • Depression
  • Dizziness or unsteadiness
  • Gastrointestinal issues (nausea, diarrhea)
  • Headache
  • Heart palpitations
  • Irritability
  • Increased sweating
  • Muscle pain and stiffness
  • Nightmares
  • Tremors
  • Vision issues or ringing of the ears

In severe cases of high-dose withdrawal, some people experience serious side effects such as hallucinations, delirium, and grand mal seizures. 

If you experience mild side effects, talk to your healthcare provider about your options. If you experience severe side effects, seek immediate medical attention or call 911.

Coping and Relief for Ativan Withdrawal

The best way to deal with benzodiazepine withdrawal is to taper your medication slowly under the supervision of a physician instead of trying to quit “cold turkey.” You can avoid the worst of Ativan withdrawal by working with your care provider to taper your dose, taking progressively smaller amounts of Ativan over several weeks or months.

Quitting Ativan takes time and planning. Before tapering begins, your physician may switch you to a longer-acting benzodiazepine such as diazepam. A long-acting drug helps stabilize you and can make your taper go more smoothly.

There is no single tapering schedule that works best for everyone. The higher your dose, the more significant your first dose reduction will likely be.

Once you are stabilized on a lower dose of diazepam, your physician may reduce your dose by roughly 10 to 20% every week. They might also prescribe small amounts of the medication at a time to prevent you from taking more than you should.

If you have been using Ativan for longer than six months, tapering is the only safe way to stop taking the drug. While tapering will help reduce your withdrawal symptoms, it won’t get rid of them entirely. You may still have symptoms each time your dose is reduced.

To help you cope with these symptoms, consider the following options:

Warnings About Ativan Withdrawal

Some drugs are safe to quit on your own; benzodiazepines are not. Do not stop taking Ativan on your own without discussing it with your healthcare provider.

Quitting Ativan cold turkey can be dangerous. While it may not feel like a serious drug, especially if you only take it as directed, it has powerful effects on your brain.

However, most people don’t need to undergo inpatient detoxification. Instead, consulting with your primary care physician or psychiatrist on an outpatient level is often sufficient. Your physician can monitor your tapering progress through frequent visits and phone calls.

An inpatient setting may be a better approach if you have a history of complicated withdrawal, seizures, or severe mental illness. This can involve living at a detoxification or rehabilitation facility for several weeks, where you can be monitored for complications.

Return of Psychiatric Symptoms

Ativan withdrawal can coincide with the re-emergence of psychiatric symptoms that may have been dormant while you were using the drug. This can include symptoms associated with severe anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and clinical depression.

Inpatient treatment may be required if severe psychiatric symptoms begin to return. Talk to your psychiatrist or psychologist about helping you work with your insurance company to get treatment. If you are uninsured, certain inpatient facilities may still be an option.

Pregnancy

The FDA prescribing label for Ativan warns that there are potential risks to taking Ativan during pregnancy. As a result, it is recommended that the decision to continue or discontinue its use be made with the help of a medical professional.

If you are pregnant, talk to your psychiatrist or obstetrician about both the risks of continuing the drug and the risks of quitting while pregnant. If you do want to quit while pregnant, a medically supervised taper is the safest way to do so.

Long-Term Treatment for Ativan Withdrawal

Ativan withdrawal can feel long and arduous because it tends to come and go during the course of your taper. Some people finish tapering their dose within three to four weeks, while others may stretch their taper out for as long as 12 months.

Longer tapers are not associated with better outcomes but may be more comfortable for some people. Either way, it is very important to complete your taper without reversing direction. An Ativan taper should move continuously forward with decreasing doses.

If withdrawal symptoms arise during the taper, the taper can be paused to allow the body time to adjust, but the dose should not be increased.

For those who have been misusing Ativan, tapering alone may not be enough to maintain abstinence. Cognitive behavioral therapy and other psychotherapies can help you understand why you feel the need to use Ativan and can help you make healthier decisions.

If total abstinence is causing psychological distress, some people may aim for a reduced dose. Tapering toward a reduced dose can reset your tolerance level and help you avoid the negative side effects of high doses.

Before Stopping Ativan Use

If you are interested in stopping or reducing your Ativan dose, start by talking with the prescribing physician. Primary care providers and psychiatrists are both excellent resources.

To make your dose taper easier on yourself, plan to work with a healthcare provider who is conveniently located and easily accessible. The reason for this is that you may need to make a number of office visits when discontinuing Ativan use.


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A-brief-history-of-psychology-through-the-years-2795245-V1-1c6012da750f492cac1772f49da578e5-e0c4b99181884778973de88b12bb7c1b.gif

The Origins of Psychology: History Through the Years


Key Takeaways

  • Psychology began as a separate scientific discipline in 1879 when Wilhelm Wundt opened the world’s first psychology lab.
  • Early schools of thought in psychology, like behaviorism, focused on studying observable behavior scientifically.
  • Women made important contributions to psychology, even when they faced obstacles in academic training. 

While the psychology of today reflects the discipline’s rich and varied history, the origins of psychology differ significantly from contemporary conceptions of the field. In order to gain a full understanding of psychology, you need to spend some time exploring its history and origins.

How did psychology originate? When did it begin? Who were the people responsible for establishing psychology as a separate science?

Why Study Psychology History?

Contemporary psychology is interested in an enormous range of topics, looking at human behavior and mental process from the neural level to the cultural level. Psychologists study human issues that begin before birth and continue until death. By understanding the history of psychology, you can gain a better understanding of how these topics are studied and what we have learned thus far.

From its earliest beginnings, psychology has been faced with a number of questions. The initial question of how to define psychology helped establish it as a science separate from physiology and philosophy.

Additional questions that psychologists have faced throughout history include:

  • Is psychology really a science?
  • Should psychologists use research to influence public policy, education, and other aspects of human behavior?
  • Should psychology focus on observable behaviors, or on internal mental processes?
  • What research methods should be used to study psychology?
  • Which topics and issues should psychology be concerned with?

Background: Philosophy and Physiology

While psychology did not emerge as a separate discipline until the late 1800s, its earliest history can be traced back to Egypt, Greece, China, Persia, and India. In the 17th century, the French philosopher Rene Descartes introduced the idea of dualism, which asserted that the mind and body were two entities that interact to form the human experience.

Many other issues still debated by psychologists today, such as the relative contributions of nature vs. nurture, are rooted in these early philosophical traditions.

So what makes psychology different from philosophy? While early philosophers relied on methods such as observation and logic, today’s psychologists utilize scientific methodologies to study and draw conclusions about human thought and behavior.

Physiology also contributed to psychology’s eventual emergence as a scientific discipline. Early physiological research on the brain and behavior had a dramatic impact on psychology, ultimately contributing to applying scientific methodologies to the study of human thought and behavior.

Psychology Emerges as a Separate Discipline

During the mid-1800s, a German physiologist named Wilhelm Wundt was using scientific research methods to investigate reaction times. His book, published in 1873, “Principles of Physiological Psychology,” outlined many of the major connections between the science of physiology and the study of human thought and behavior.

He later opened the world’s first psychology lab in 1879 at the University of Leipzig. This event is generally considered the official start of psychology as a separate and distinct scientific discipline.

How did Wundt view psychology? He perceived the subject as the study of human consciousness and sought to apply experimental methods to studying internal mental processes. While his use of a process known as introspection is seen as unreliable and unscientific today, his early work in psychology helped set the stage for future experimental methods.

An estimated 17,000 students attended Wundt’s psychology lectures, and hundreds more pursued degrees in psychology and studied in his psychology lab. While his influence dwindled as the field matured, his impact on psychology is unquestionable.

Structuralism: Psychology’s First School of Thought

Edward B. Titchener, one of Wundt’s most famous students, would go on to found psychology’s first major school of thought. According to the structuralists, human consciousness could be broken down into smaller parts. Using a process known as introspection, trained subjects would attempt to break down their responses and reactions to the most basic sensation and perceptions.

While structuralism is notable for its emphasis on scientific research, its methods were unreliable, limiting, and subjective. When Titchener died in 1927, structuralism essentially died with him.

The Functionalism of William James

Psychology flourished in America during the mid- to late-1800s. William James emerged as one of the major American psychologists during this period and publishing his classic textbook, “The Principles of Psychology,” established him as the father of American psychology.

His book soon became the standard text in psychology and his ideas eventually served as the basis for a new school of thought known as functionalism.

Functionalism

The focus of functionalism was about how behavior actually works to help people live in their environment. Functionalists utilized methods such as direct observation to study the human mind and behavior.

Both of these early schools of thought emphasized human consciousness, but their conceptions of it were significantly different. While the structuralists sought to break down mental processes into their smallest parts, the functionalists believed that consciousness existed as a more continuous and changing process.

While functionalism quickly faded as a separate school of thought, it would go on to influence later psychologists and theories of human thought and behavior.

The Emergence of Psychoanalysis

Up to this point, early psychology stressed conscious human experience. An Austrian physician named Sigmund Freud changed the face of psychology in a dramatic way, proposing a theory of personality that emphasized the importance of the unconscious mind.

Freud’s clinical work with patients suffering from hysteria and other ailments led him to believe that early childhood experiences and unconscious impulses contributed to the development of adult personality and behavior.

In his book The Psychopathology of Everyday Life, Freud detailed how these unconscious thoughts and impulses are expressed, often through slips of the tongue (known as “Freudian slips”) and dreams. According to Freud, psychological disorders are the result of these unconscious conflicts becoming extreme or unbalanced.

The psychoanalytic theory proposed by Sigmund Freud had a tremendous impact on 20th-century thought, influencing the mental health field as well as other areas, including art, literature, and popular culture. While many of his ideas are viewed with skepticism today, his influence on psychology is undeniable.

The Rise of Behaviorism

Psychology changed dramatically during the early 20th century as another school of thought known as behaviorism rose to dominance. Behaviorism was a major change from previous theoretical perspectives, rejecting the emphasis on both the conscious and unconscious mind. Instead, behaviorism strove to make psychology a more scientific discipline by focusing purely on observable behavior.

Behaviorism had its earliest start with the work of a Russian physiologist named Ivan Pavlov. Pavlov’s research on the digestive systems of dogs led to his discovery of the classical conditioning process, which proposed that behaviors could be learned via conditioned associations.

Pavlov demonstrated that this learning process could be used to make an association between a neutral environmental stimulus and a naturally occurring stimulus.

An American psychologist named John B. Watson soon became one of the strongest advocates of behaviorism. Initially outlining the basic principles of this new school of thought in his 1913 paper Psychology as the Behaviorist Views It, Watson later went on to offer a definition in his classic book “Behaviorism“ (1924), writing:

“Behaviorism…holds that the subject matter of human psychology is the behavior of the human being. Behaviorism claims that consciousness is neither a definite nor a usable concept.”

John B. Watson

The behaviorist, who has been trained always as an experimentalist, holds further that belief in the existence of consciousness goes back to the ancient days of superstition and magic.

— John B. Watson

The impact of behaviorism was enormous, and this school of thought continued to dominate for the next 50 years. Psychologist, B.F. Skinner furthered the behaviorist perspective with his concept of operant conditioning, which demonstrated the effect of punishment and reinforcement on behavior.

While behaviorism eventually lost its dominant grip on psychology, the basic principles of behavioral psychology are still widely in use today.

Therapeutic techniques such as behavior analysis, behavioral modification, and token economies are often utilized to help children learn new skills and overcome maladaptive behaviors, while conditioning is used in many situations ranging from parenting to education.

The Focus on Human Potential

While the first half of the 20th century was dominated by psychoanalysis and behaviorism, a new school of thought known as humanistic psychology emerged during the second half of the century. Often referred to as the “third force” in psychology, this theoretical perspective emphasized conscious experiences.

American psychologist Carl Rogers is often considered to be one of the founders of this school of thought. While psychoanalysts looked at unconscious impulses and behaviorists focused on environmental causes, Rogers believed strongly in the power of free will and self-determination.

Carl Rogers

The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.

— Carl Rogers

Psychologist Abraham Maslow also contributed to humanistic psychology with his famous hierarchy of needs theory of human motivation. This theory suggests that people are motivated by increasingly complex needs. Once the most basic needs are fulfilled, people become motivated to pursue higher-level needs.

Cognitive Psychology

During the 1950s and 1960s, a movement known as the cognitive revolution began to take hold in psychology. During this time, cognitive psychology began to replace psychoanalysis and behaviorism as the dominant approach to the study of psychology. Psychologists were still interested in looking at observable behaviors, but they were also concerned with what was going on inside the mind. 

Since that time, cognitive psychology has remained a dominant area of psychology as researchers continue to study things such as perception, memory, decision-making, problem-solving, intelligence, and language.

The introduction of brain imaging tools such as MRI and PET scans have helped improve the ability of researchers to more closely study the inner workings of the human brain.

Psychology Continues to Grow

As you have seen in this brief overview of psychology’s history, this discipline has seen dramatic growth and change since its official beginnings in Wundt’s lab. The story certainly does not end here.

Psychology has continued to evolve since 1960 and new ideas and perspectives have been introduced. Recent research in psychology looks at many aspects of the human experience, from the biological influences on behavior on the impact of social and cultural factors.

Today, the majority of psychologists do not identify themselves with a single school of thought. Instead, they often focus on a particular specialty area or perspective, often drawing on ideas from a range of theoretical backgrounds. This eclectic approach has contributed new ideas and theories that will continue to shape psychology for years to come.

Women in Psychology History

As you read through any history of psychology, you might be particularly struck by the fact that such texts seem to center almost entirely on the theories and contributions of men. This is not because women had no interest in the field of psychology but is largely due to the fact that women were excluded from pursuing academic training and practice during the early years of the field.

A number of women made important contributions to the early history of psychology, although their work is sometimes overlooked. 

A few pioneering women psychologists included:

  • Mary Whiton Calkins, who rightfully earned a doctorate from Harvard, although the school refused to grant her degree because she was a woman. She studied with major thinkers of the day like William James, Josiah Royce, and Hugo Munsterberg. Despite the obstacles she faced, she became the American Psychological Association’s first woman president.
  • Anna Freud, who made important contributions to the field of psychoanalysis. She described many of the defense mechanisms and is known as the founder of child psychoanalysis. She also had an influence on other psychologists, including Erik Erikson.
  • Mary Ainsworth, who was a developmental psychologist, made important contributions to our understanding of attachment. She developed a technique for studying child and caregiver attachments known as the “Strange Situation” assessment.

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How to Manifest Your Goals With the 369 Method

Key Takeaways

  • To use the 369 method, say or write your affirmation three times in the morning, six times in the afternoon, and nine times in the evening.
  • Make sure your affirmations are in the present tense and tie them to a specific goal.
  • Practice the method for 21 days and be patient as you work toward your goal.

We all have goals that feel like they’re just out of reach. It could be landing a big promotion, crushing a fitness goal, finding a soulmate, buying a dream house, or feeling more confident about ourselves. But, how do we bridge the gap between wishing and achieving? Enter: manifestation.

Manifestation is a process by which we achieve our goals through positive self-talk and visualization. For example, if we want to be successful, we think, act, and believe we are already successful, in order to make it happen.

The 369 method is one such manifestation technique. It involves repeating an affirmation a certain numbers of times each day, either out loud or in writing.

“The 369 method is a manifestation technique designed to help you attract what you want into your life by using the power of intention and focused repetition,” says Juliette Kristine, a manifestation coach.

Steps to Practice the 369 Method

Your personal goals might range from the simple to the complex. Whether you’re chasing a career goal, looking for a relationship, trying to be healthier, or seeking personal growth, the 369 manifestation method may be able to help.

Remember, the manifestation methods utilized in the 369 method involve more than just wishful thinking. It’s about developing a positive attitude that keeps you focused on working toward your goal.

Here’s how to practice the 369 method to manifest your goal.

Identify Your Goal

Start by clearly stating the goal you want to manifest. It could be related to your health, relationships, career, or any other aspect of your life.

The trick? Be as specific as possible. So, instead of saying something like, “I was to be successful,” you might say, “I want to land a job in my chosen field.”

Create an Affirmation

The next step is to create an affirmation that assumes the goal has already been achieved. For instance, you could say:

  • I am confident, skilled, and successful in my work.
  • I am fit and strong.
  • I am healthy and my immunity is protecting me.
  • I am loved and cherished.
  • I am surrounded by people who care about me.
  • I attract abundance and opportunities. 

To make the exercise work effectively, it’s important to phrase your desire in present tense, Kristine explains. She says adding emotive words to it also helps. The more you feel it, the more likely you are to believe it!

Repeat the Affirmation

Once you’ve decided on the affirmation that represents your goal, you need to say or write it down:

  • Three times in the morning: This helps set a positive outlook on your day
  • Six times in the afternoon: This helps keep your mind focused on your goal as you go about your day
  • Nine times in the evening: This helps to reinforce your intentions before you go to sleep

You can do this any way you choose. For example, you can look at yourself in the mirror while you say the affirmation. Alternatively, if you prefer writing instead, you can either write it in your journal or on sticky notes that you then stick all around.

Do this continuously for 21 days, says Kristine. Be patient as you work toward your goals. With time and consistent practice, you may find that your intentions become much closer to reality.

What if I have more than one goal?

When you are using the 369 method, it’s usually best to focus on one goal at a time. By concentrating all of your energy and attention on one specific goal, it helps you stay focused and motivation without getting distracted.

How the 369 Method Works

The 369 method is based on the following principles:

Intention Setting

When we set an intention, we define our goal, articulate it, and commit to it. This clarity can be a powerful first step. Otherwise, the goal is simply a hazy mirage in the distant future.

Positive Affirmation

By translating the goal to a positive affirmation, we reprogram our brain to believe we can achieve it. On the other hand, if we think it’s not possible, we might not even try.

Repetition

By repeating the affirmation multiple times per day, we reinforce the idea. When we think and believe we can achieve something, we automatically start to work toward it.

Law of Attraction

According to the law of attraction, when we focus our attention on something, we’re more likely to attract it into our life. For example, someone who’s actively spending time and energy looking for a job is more likely to find one than someone who hates their job but isn’t really scouting for a new job.

It’s important to remember that manifestation is neither a magic wand that will grant our wishes, nor is it a substitute for hard work. It’s simply a way of channeling our thoughts, efforts, and energy toward our goal, in a way that inspires us to work toward the goal and helps us recognize opportunities that may come our way.

Tips for Success With the 369 Method

These are some tips that can help you practice the 369 method successfully:

  • Be clear and specific: Be very clear and specific about your goal when you outline it. The better you understand your goal, the more you align yourself toward it.
  • Visualize success: As you write your affirmation, visualize yourself achieving your goal and tap into the positive emotions associated with it. Picture a detailed scene in your mind of what life will be like when you have manifested what you want, says Kristine. She explains that the more you’re able to tap into the feeling that your goal has already manifested, the more powerful it becomes.
  • Practice consistently: Make the practice a daily habit. Set aside a few minutes each morning, afternoon, and evening to repeat your affirmations and reflect on your goal.
  • Stay positive: Focus on gratitude, positivity, and optimism, as these emotions attract more positive experiences and opportunities into your life.
  • Trust the process: Manifestation takes time, so be patient and trust in the process. Don’t get discouraged if results don’t appear immediately. Be open to unexpected avenues.
  • Track your progress: Keep a journal to document your journey. Write down your affirmations and any insights or ideas that pop up, and track your progress toward your goal. This can help you stay focused and motivated.

You can also try combining the 369 method with other goal development practices. Vision boards, for example, can be a great way to keep your mind centered on your aspirations. Joining support groups, practicing manifestation meditation, and using guided imagery can also be helpful.

Journaling, in particular, can help make the 369 method even more effective. Writing down your affirmations and goals helps you stay focused. It also allows you to track your progress and ensure you repeat your affirmation regularly.

Pros and Cons of the 369 Method

It’s important to note that while manifestation techniques like the 369 method can have advantages, there can also be a few pitfalls to watch out for. In general, people who believe that manifestation works tend to have high aspirations for success and believe in themselves. Such self-efficacy *can* help you achieve your goals.

But caution is also warranted. Research also suggests that people who have a strong belief in manifestation also tend to be drawn to riskier investments, are more likely to experience bankruptcy, and tend to believe they’ll achieve an unlikely level of success more quickly.

If you decide to use the 369 method or other manifestation techniques, focus on maintaining a positive but realistic outlook on your goals.

Frequently Asked Questions


  • What happens if I miss a day?

    Kristine says not to worry about missing a session or here or there, as long as you’re largely consistent. “You could compare this to someone who starts working out at the gym regularly but then stops for a few days because they get sick. Yes, they may have lost a little bit of momentum, but it’s not going to cancel out all the hard work they’ve put in.”

    Just stay positive and focus your attention on your goal.


  • Do I have to follow the 369 method exactly as described?

    Not necessarily. You can adapt this manifestation method to suit your needs and preferences, as long as you incorporate the key principles of intention-setting, positive affirmations, and repetition.


  • How long does it take to see results with the 369 method?

    Manifestation timelines can vary for each person and their goal. Some may experience rapid results, while others may take more time. It’s important to stay patient, trust the process, and continue practicing the method consistently. Results may manifest gradually or in unexpected ways, so stay open and receptive.


Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
  1. Dixon LJ, Hornsey MJ, Hartley N. “The secret” to success? The psychology of belief in manifestation. Pers Soc Psychol Bull. 2023 Jul 8:1461672231181162. doi: 10.1177/01461672231181162

  2. Cascio CN, O’Donnell MB, Tinney FJ, Lieberman MD, Taylor SE, Strecher VJ, Falk EB. Self-affirmation activates brain systems associated with self-related processing and reward and is reinforced by future orientation. Soc Cogn Affect Neurosci. 2016 Apr;11(4):621-9. doi: 10.1093/scan/nsv136

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By Sanjana Gupta

Sanjana is a health writer and editor. Her work spans various health-related topics, including mental health, fitness, nutrition, and wellness.


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How to Stop Watching Porn

Key Takeaways

  • To stop watching porn, it’s important to understand and embrace your reasons for quitting.
  • Get rid of all pornography content around you and block access on your devices.
  • Find a trusted friend or support group to help you stay accountable.

Watching porn can be a sign of a healthy sexual appetite. However, if you find yourself watching it excessively, this might signify that you have a porn addiction.

While having a porn addiction might seem harmless, it can be detrimental to your general well-being and can have some serious negative effects on your romantic relationships. People with porn addictions often use it as an unhealthy coping mechanism for stressors in their lives or as a replacement for having a healthy sexual life.

Pornography can actually affect your brain in a similar way to addictive drugs—flooding your reward center with dopamine in a way that provides gratification but can make it all-too-easy to come back for more.

To stop watching porn, it’s important to first understand and embrace your reasons for giving it up, take action to limit your access to pornography, and even enlist help from an accountability buddy. Read on to learn more about these strategies and others below.

Signs of a Porn Addiction 

A person who has an uncontrollable desire to watch porn at any time of the day and in any space, especially where it might not be considered appropriate, might have a porn addiction.

Recognizing a porn addiction is tricky as there’s no official diagnosis for it. There’s also a thin line between people who have a healthy desire to consume porn and people who are addicted.

Here are some other signs that point to porn addiction:

  • You find that it’s impossible to stop watching porn even when you desire to stop
  • You experience immense guilt or shame about the time and resources you put into watching porn
  • You start to neglect work and personal relationships to spend that time watching porn
  • You find it difficult to enjoy sex or any sexual acts without involving porn
  • You notice that watching porn has begun to interfere with your daily functioning

There has been some controversy around recognizing porn addiction as a real addiction. However, there is enough research to point to people having real struggles with porn. Like with any addiction, if porn addiction is ignored, it can have negative consequences.

Press Play for Advice On Dealing With Porn Addiction

Hosted by therapist Amy Morin, LCSW, this episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast, featuring actor/tv host Terry Crews, shares how to navigate shame, trauma, and recover from porn addiction. Click below to listen now.

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How to Stop Watching and Overcome Your Addiction

If you think you might be dealing with a porn addiction, below are some tips to help you to stop.

Understand Why You Are Giving It Up

You don’t have to have a porn addiction in order to decide that you are giving up porn. You could be doing so for religious or ethical reasons. You could also be doing so because it’s causing a rift between you and a romantic partner, or simply because you just no longer want to watch porn.

Coming to terms with the reason you are giving it up helps you stay accountable whenever you are tempted to watch it. As long as those reasons are more important to you than watching porn, they will be a strong motivating factor.

Accept That You Have a Problem If There Is One

If any of the signs of a porn addiction listed in the section above resonate with you, then you might be dealing with a porn addiction.

Many people keep a porn addiction problem to themselves as they feel they’ll be judged by society, but remember that you are not alone. It’s important to focus on the things you can control, and the things you can’t control will follow.

Get Rid of the Porn

This includes any physical or digital evidence of pornography content in your life. You need to make a clean sweep of all of that kind of content. There’s no excuse to hold on to any of it, even those vintage porn magazines that might have some sentimental value.

Once the content is readily available around you, it’s easy to slip back to old habits. On your phone, television, and other devices, you should install filters that block pornographic content and sites.

Have someone you trust create the passwords that keep pornographic content on your devices blocked. That way, if you find yourself desperately trying to access pornography, you won’t be able to remove the filters yourself. This is a major step to breaking the hold that pornography has over you.

Get an Accountability Buddy

This could be a close friend who you trust or even an app on your phone that reminds you of how long you’ve come in your recovery journey and why you are doing it. Taking things one day at a time isn’t just for people with drug and alcohol addictions.

Rewarding yourself and celebrating even for the small wins is one of the most important things you can do for yourself as you work to undo your habits.

Join a Support Group

A support group helps you remember that you are not alone. It also eases your recovery journey if watching porn isn’t just a habit that you want to quit but has risen to the level an addiction.

These groups provide a safe, anonymous, and judgment-free zone for you to share your struggles with pornography and hear from other people who are going through similar experiences. If you have difficulty sharing your struggles with others in fear of being stigmatized, a support group is a great place to find acceptance and understanding.

Verywell / Alison Czinkota


Don’t Beat Yourself Up If You Fall Off the Wagon

Trying to break a habit or recover from a porn addiction is a journey, and it’s not usually a straight path from addicted to not. On that journey, you might find yourself slipping back into old habits. Whenever that happens, don’t waste any time beating yourself up.

Keep trying to find the coping mechanisms that will work best for you, and don’t fixate on the relapse. You can’t change the past, but you can always change what you do moving forward.

Replace Watching Porn With a Different Habit

A trusted way to rid yourself of a bad habit is to replace it with a more desirable habit whenever you begin to feel the urge to indulge in that bad habit. For instance, going for a run when you feel the familiar urge to watch porn is a great way to healthily distract yourself. You might try a meditation, or engage in deep breathing, which convey some serious mental health benefits of their own.

Soon enough, the pornography urge will fade, and you may have some healthy new habits to enjoy instead!

Treatment for Porn Addiction

If you think you have a porn addiction, then simply trying to stop watching porn will prove to be incredibly difficult. So the first thing to do when considering treatment for porn addiction is to speak to a therapist. They will be able to recognize if you do indeed have an addiction and plan the next steps to take with you.

This typically includes a combination of psychotherapy and, in some cases, medication. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is a commonly used approach with people who are living with addictions. CBT aims to help you recognize and change negative thoughts and behaviors.

Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) is another popular form of psychotherapy used in addiction treatment. ACT focuses on helping you identify and accept the urges associated with watching porn and use value-based interventions to manage urges and symptoms.

Keep in Mind

If you or someone you love is displaying signs of porn addiction, it’s important to get help, as it’s challenging to overcome addiction alone. However, it’s also important to remember that watching and enjoying porn in healthy doses is perfectly fine, and can even be a great way to spice up your sex life. As with all things, finding the right balance is key.

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
  1. Love T, Laier C, Brand M, Hatch L, Hajela R. Neuroscience of Internet Pornography Addiction: A Review and Update. Behav Sci (Basel). 2015 Sep 18;5(3):388-433. doi: 10.3390/bs5030388

  2. de Alarcón R, de la Iglesia JI, Casado NM, Montejo AL. Online porn addiction: what we know and what we don’t—a systematic review. Journal of Clinical Medicine. 2019;8(1):91.

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Toketemu has been multimedia storyteller for the last four years. Her expertise focuses primarily on mental wellness and women’s health topics.


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What Does LGBTQIA+ Mean?


Key Takeaways

  • LGBTQIA+ stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer or questioning, intersex, and asexual, with the plus representing other identities.
  • The purpose of the acronym is to be inclusive of all same-gender attracted and trans people. 

Thanks to sitcoms like “Will & Grace” and “Modern Family” and celebrities like Ellen DeGeneres and Cynthia Nixon, there’s been more visibility and knowledge of various sexual and gender identities. And as our society changes, so does our language. Just take the initialism LGBTQIA+ for an example. LGBTQIA+ stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer (or sometimes questioning), intersex, asexual, and others. The “plus” represents other sexual identities, including pansexual and Two-Spirit.

The acronym is used to represent a diverse range of sexualities and gender identities, referring to anyone who is transgender and/or same/similar gender attracted.

Below, we explain what each letter in the LGBTQIA+ acronym means, the history of the term, and why (all) queer representation is important. Because, yes, representation is (and will always be) essential to marginalized groups.

What Does Each Letter Mean?

  • L (Lesbian): A lesbian is a woman/woman-aligned person who is attracted to only people of the same/similar gender.
  • G (Gay): Gay is usually a term used to refer to men/men-aligned individuals who are only attracted to people of the same/similar gender. However, lesbians can also be referred to as gay. The use of the term gay became more popular during the 1970s. Today, bisexual and pansexual people sometimes use gay to casually refer to themselves when they talk about their similar gender attraction.
  • B (Bisexual): Bisexual indicates an attraction to all genders. The recognition of bisexual individuals is important, since there have been periods when people who identify as bi have been misunderstood as being gay. Bisexuality has included transgender, binary and nonbinary individuals since the release of the “Bisexual Manifesto” in 1990.
  • T (Transgender): Transgender is a term that indicates that a person’s gender identity is different from the gender associated with the sex they were assigned at birth. 
  • Q (Queer or Questioning): Though queer may be used by people as a specific identity, it is often considered an umbrella term for anyone who is non-cisgender or heterosexual. But it is also a slur. It should not be placed on all members of the community, and should only be used by cisgender and heterosexual individuals when referring to a person who explicitly identifies with it. Questioning refers to people who may be unsure of their sexual orientation and/or gender identity.
  • Intersex: A term to describe individuals who are born with variations of sex characteristics that do not fit with binary definitions of male or female bodies. 
  • Asexual: Sometimes shorted to “ace,” this term refers to someone who has little or no sexual attraction; they may, however, experience romantic attraction.
  • + (Plus): The ‘plus’ is used to signify all of the gender identities and sexual orientations that are not specifically covered by the other five initials. An example is Two-Spirit, a pan-Indigenous American identity.

LGBTQIA+ Acronym Variations

Other acronym variations that are sometimes used include LGBTIQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, and queer) and LGBTQQIP2SAA (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning, intersex, pansexual, two-spirit (2S), androgynous, and asexual).

History of the LGBTQIA+ Acronym

Where a variety of orientations and identities had previously been referred to as “the gay community” and later “the gay and lesbian community,” the acronym eventually evolved as a way to be more inclusive of other identities.

Why has the acronym changed over time? Words and meanings are always evolving. Bisexual, as defined by Sigmund Freud, originally meant a person was both a man and a woman. Being both a man and a woman is now referred to as bigender (under the transgender umbrella), and bisexuality is the attraction to multiple/all genders.

The original acronym has gained more letters designed to help better represent other identities related to sexual orientation and gender identity.

Why the “Plus” Matters

While variations such as LGBT or LGBTQ are often used, many advocates argue that the addition of the “plus” is important and should not be overlooked. The purpose of the acronym is to represent the tremendous diversity of people who are same/similar gender attracted and transgender. The addition of the plus is better able to fully capture that diversity.

“Coverage of LGBTQ issues has moved beyond simplistic political dichotomies and toward more fully realized representations, not only of the diversity of the LGBTQ community, but also of LGBTQ people’s lives, their families, and their fundamental inclusion in the fabric of American society,” explains GLAAD, or the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation.

Related Terms to Know

Some other terms that you may see or hear related to the LGBTQIA+ community include:

  • Cisgender: This term refers to individuals whose gender identity corresponds to the gender associated with the sex they were assigned at birth.
  • Nonbinary: A person whose gender identity is neither exclusively woman or man.
  • Gender nonconforming: An individual whose gender identity or expression is outside or beyond the traditional masculine/feminine and woman/man norms.

A person’s gender identity is their internal sense of gender, whether that is woman, man, or a nonbinary gender. A person’s gender identity does not necessarily correspond to their sex assigned at birth or with their gender expression. 

Reminder

It is also important to understand that gender is not the same as sex. Sex is biological, while gender is influenced by social, cultural, and environmental factors.

Why LGBTQIA+ Representation Matters

The LGBTQIA+ acronym serves an important purpose—not only is it designed to be more inclusive, but it also represents the self-identities of people who are transgender and/or similar gender attracted. 

Inclusivity 

The use of the acronym is intended to be an all-encompassing way to recognize different gender identities and sexual orientations. The addition of other identities to the LGBT acronym also plays an important role in recognizing and connecting them to a larger community.

It also means that these individuals are able to gain greater recognition by society as a whole. Rather than being erased, ignored, or denied, acknowledgment can help foster greater visibility of marginalized identities.

Visibility

Visibility can also help create a greater sense of self-affirmation of a person’s identity. Research has found that offering inclusive and affirmative environments is important for LGBTQ+ youth. 

Research also suggests that despite safety concerns, being visible as a member of the LGBTQ+ community can be an important way to feel a sense of pride in individual identity. Affirming self-identity can help people feel greater self-esteem, self-worth, and boost overall mental well-being. This can be particularly important since representation has long been lacking in mainstream media.

The good news is that there have been improvements made in recent years to change this. A recent GLAAD report suggests that the representation of LGBTQ characters and relationships on television is higher than ever previously seen on TV. This includes greater diversity and visibility of non-binary identities, although the report notes that BIPOC characters are still underrepresented.

Research and statistics suggest that LGBTQ+ youth have an increased risk of a range of mental health and social issues, often due to or exacerbated by isolation, marginalization, and discrimination based on their orientation or identity. Fostering inclusivity and acceptance may be one way to help combat some of these issues.

Uses of the LGBTQIA+ Acronym

The acronym LGBTQIA+ has become more popular and accepted. Terms such as queer are sometimes used as well, but not all members of the community are comfortable with it as it is still a slur.

When to Use It

So how do you know when to use the term LGBTQIA+? 

  • The purpose of the term is to be inclusive of all same-gender attracted and trans people.
  • Use a specific term if you are talking about issues that may be specific to a particular orientation or identity.
  • Be specific when talking about individuals. LGBTQIA+ is also an adjective for the community as a whole, not for a single person. For example, you wouldn’t say “Ali is LGBTQIA+”—you’d say “Ali is gay.”

While LGBTQ+ on its own is the most commonly used and probably widely recognized, LGBTQIA+ is more inclusive to the larger community. Even more inclusive variations exist, such as LGBTQI2S (which represents lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, queer, intersex, and Two-Spirit). Indigenous people created the term Two-Spirit to separate themselves from Western descriptions of gender and sexual identities, and some feel it is disrespectful to attach Two-Spirit to the acronym because of that.

Regardless of what terms people choose to use, what matters is that people have choice in self-identification and that others acknowledge that identity. If someone tells you how they identify, focus on honoring their individual identity.

If you are interested in learning more about what terms and phrases should be avoided, GLAAD, the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, has a reference page that offers helpful information on LGBTQ terms as well as information on terms that are specific to the transgender community.

Impact of the LGBTQIA+ Acronym

LGBT and related acronyms have become widely used in recent years. It has also played a role in raising the visibility of marginalized groups, including transgender individuals.

Research suggests that while attitudes have shifted towards greater acceptance, LGBTQ+ people still face considerable homophobia and discrimination. Harassment, bullying, and workplace discrimination are not uncommon.

One advantage of utilizing a unified terminology is the ability to engage in political advocacy. Social solidarity can be used to improve visibility, combat discrimination, and advance causes including anti-discrimination and equality laws. 

Unifying terms like LGBTQIA+ can help people feel connected to a larger group of people with shared experiences. But the term can sometimes seem to imply that there is a single, homogenous group when there are actually many individual communities made up of diverse individuals. These communities have some things in common, but each identity has its own unique experiences and needs.

Challenges

While the goal of this initialism is to raise visibility and boost inclusivity, not everyone agrees about what term or variation to use. The community has been referred to by many words over the years, including many that were intended to be hurtful. So it’s not unusual that the self-descriptors that people use can vary, particularly when it comes to issues related to self-expression, sexuality, and identity.

LGBT is still prevalent in use and may be preferred by some who feel that the four-letter acronym is a simpler way to represent a wide range of identities. 

Others may feel left out from the standard four initials, which is why the addition of Q, I, A, and “Plus” can be helpful.

This doesn’t mean that terminology won’t continue to evolve and shift, particularly as people work to achieve greater representation and acceptance of transgender people especially. 

LGBTQIA+ Resources

If you are interested in learning about LGBTQIA+ issues, there are a number of resources available that can help.

The goal of using more inclusive terms like LGBTQIA+ is to improve visibility, recognition, and acceptance. It is important to remember that LGBTQIA+ people continue to face discrimination. Transgender and gender-nonconforming individuals, in particular, are frequently the target of social and economic marginalization as well as harassment and violence.

Terms and definitions are always evolving. When it comes to something as personal as sexuality and gender identity, these terms and definitions can mean different things to different people. While working to understanding and use terms such as LGBTQIA+ can help increase the visibility of people who have faced marginalization and discrimination, it is important to remember that the most important labels or definitions are the ones that people give to themselves. 

If you are seeking support for issues with coming out, relationships, bullying, self-harm, and more, contact the LGBT National Hotline at 1-888-843-4564 for one-to-one peer support.

For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database.


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