Posts in category: Dating Tips, Guide and Advice

If you’ve ever felt like you can’t do anything right, you might think you’re the only one who has experienced that feeling. The truth, though, is that it’s perfectly common to feel this way, and it happens to most of us at one time or another.

In a world where so much of how we experience other people is in the digital world, it’s easy to forget that the version we view of our friends, colleagues, and loved ones is the one they want us to see. Most people share photos and stories about the good times in their lives. And most do not share about when they’re having a hard time in life.

There are different reasons why you might experience this feeling, and many assorted actions you can take to help alleviate it. Read on to learn why you might be feeling this way, and how to turn things around in your mind.

Why You Feel Like You Can’t Do Anything Right

There are endless reasons why you might experience the thoughts and feelings that nothing you do in life is right; these are some of the most common reasons.

Feeling Overwhelmed by Stress

It’s a common motif in our culture, especially since a pandemic began years ago. Stress makes life feel overwhelming, and it can impact our ability to think clearly. If you’re feeling nervous, worried, anxious, or depressed, and you don’t have a chronic condition involving those feelings, chances are that you’re stressed.

It might feel like it doesn’t make sense to you that a simple task or project feels like too much, but it’s important to understand that our brains, nervous systems, and hearts have really been through the wringer since 2020.

When you’re feeling overwhelmed, your mind can slip into a tricky pattern where it feels like you aren’t doing anything right. Fortunately, you can learn how to manage stress.

Self-Worth

We all have to be our own biggest champions in life. That’s because having good self-esteem may boost your happiness.

Low self-esteem manifests in different ways, such as not feeling in control of life, having a hard time asking for help, being afraid of failure, not having good boundaries, and not speaking kindly to yourself. Do you feel like a bully is living inside your head sometimes?

How to Cope With Feeling Like You Never Do Anything Right

While it’s normal to sometimes feel like you can’t do anything right, that doesn’t mean you have to just live with the feeling. Instead, there are a lot of different actions you can take that can help quell this notion and put you back on a positive path in your mind.

Let Yourself Feel This Way

Running away from our problems never makes them go away, and running away from our feelings doesn’t allow us to move through them. Sometimes, all you have to do to get past a feeling is stop trying to fight it.

When you’re feeling like you can’t do anything right, take a moment and just let yourself feel that. Once you’re feeling a little calmer, try to delve deeper into where the feeling is coming from. This can lead you to understand if there is a larger issue at play that you need to deal with.

If you have made a mistake, missed a deadline, burnt dinner, cut your bangs too short, etc. have some grace for yourself. We all make mistakes or miss the mark, and that is how we learn valuable lessons, gain skills, and grow emotionally.

Prove Yourself Wrong By Reviewing What You’ve Done Right

This simple task lets you know you’re wrong about never doing anything right. In a journal, on your phone, or in a computer document, make a list of things you’ve accomplished, succeeded at, or done well at in life. It doesn’t have to be complicated!

Were you a good babysitter for a younger sibling at one time? Did you graduate from high school or college? Have you made a friend laugh recently? All those are things you’ve done right. And you will find that the good stuff outweighs your less-than-proud moments. We sometimes have to remind ourselves of these things to have a more accurate view of our reality.

Speak to Yourself the Way You Speak to Others

Positive self-talk can get you through tough situations, and can also improve your self-esteem. When you’re feeling like you can’t do anything right, turn the table on yourself and imagine a friend or loved one saying that to you. What would you say to them? Chances are, you certainly wouldn’t agree!

Instead, you’d point out everything you’ve seen them do right. You’d tell them they are a great person, worthy of thinking highly of themself.

Go for a Walk

Not only does walking reduce stress and improve your health, but a change of environment can also help you get out of your negative mind space.

Stop and smell the flowers, feel the sunshine on your arms, notice the breeze against your face, or say “hi” to a neighbor as you pass them. As you walk, let your thoughts wander away from the idea that you can’t do anything right. When you get home, you just might feel a bit better.

Talk to a Friend Or Loved One

Holding your feelings inside isn’t conducive to letting them go or, even better, helping them shift into more positive feelings. Talking to others and having connections is vital to human happiness, so even if you’re feeling like you don’t want to share about this issue, you’ll probably feel better once you do.

If it seems like there just isn’t anyone to talk to, follow these guidelines to get started making and enhancing the human connections in your life.

If you want to talk to someone about this feeling but you’re worried, nervous, or embarrassed, you can always text or email first. Asking a friend or loved one if they have the emotional availability to help you work through a difficult feeling is a great way to practice boundaries, and if they say “yes,” you’ll likely feel safer discussing it, knowing that they have the emotional space held for you.

Practice Self-Care

Self-care is a great stress reliever, and it also helps you feel more positively about yourself. Self-care is anything you do for yourself that makes you feel good. It can be physical, such as taking a bath, or emotional, like laying down and listening to relaxing music.

Do a Good Deed

Science has proven that performing kind acts for others helps us feel better ourselves. It’s called prosocial behavior, and even if you don’t necessarily understand why helping others will make you feel better, know that it does.

Acts of kindness toward others aid our emotional well-being, and when you’re feeling more positive, chances are your mind won’t gravitate toward those self-defeating thoughts.

Take a Break

It’s not a failure in life if you just need a break. We all need breaks, and we all benefit from taking them! Taking a break reduces stress, makes us more productive overall and clears our heads.

That last benefit is key when you’re feeling like you can’t do anything right. Taking a break doesn’t need to be complicated, and there isn’t any specific task you have to perform for it to count. Just pause, ask yourself if you’d like to take a few minutes off, and see where that leads you. If it leads you straight to the couch with your favorite book in hand, that’s totally fine! If you want to pet your dog, that’s great! If you want to close your eyes for a few minutes, there is nothing wrong with that.

When to Seek Professional Help

After trying these suggestions, if you find you are still struggling to reign in those negative thought patterns, you might want to consider seeking professional help. There is a specific type of therapy known as cognitive-behavioral therapy that is designed to help you work through your maladaptive thought life and help you find better ways to cope with the stress in your life.

If someone has accused you of being immature, or told you to “grow up,” you may find yourself wondering how you can be more mature.

People who are mature are able to control their emotions, respond appropriately to situations, and behave like an adult while dealing with others.

This article explores some of the characteristics of mature people, the benefits of this trait, and some steps you can take to be more mature.

How to Be More Mature

These are some steps you can take to be more mature, according to Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, a clinical psychologist, and professor at Yeshiva University. 

• Keep your commitments: Make it a point to keep the commitments you’ve made. Don’t be erratic or flaky.
• Develop self-control: Learn to control your words and actions, rather than letting your emotions control you. Pause and reflect on what your emotions are urging you to do, and ensure your actions are always aligned with your values, not how you’re feeling in the moment.
• Make decisions thoughtfully: Think before making decisions and seek others’ advice or perspective if needed.
• Be humble: Rather than professing to know everything, it’s important to acknowledge the limits of your knowledge, stay humble, and be motivated to learn more.
• Work toward self-sufficiency: Learn to start taking care of yourself and being self-sufficient. This could involve living independently, working on your own terms, or providing for yourself financially.
• Set goals: Be deliberate about what you want to achieve. Once you have identified your goals, break them down, and create small steps for you to work toward. 
• Stay focused: Learn to delay gratification and prioritize long-term goals over short-term impulses. Follow through and don’t let temporary impulses stop you from reaching your objectives. A 2019 study notes that a true sign of maturity is the ability to practice restraint when faced with exciting, emotional, or risky situations.
• Be persistent: Work toward your goals and don’t fall off the wagon when things get tough, when unexpected roadblocks come up, or if you feel progress is taking too long. 
• Find the right balance: It’s important to maintain a balance between prioritizing your needs versus the needs of others. Your agenda shouldn’t solely revolve around you, but it also shouldn’t cater exclusively to the needs of the people around you either, to the extent that you neglect yourself. Learn to set boundaries and take care of yourself and others. 
• Respect others: Learn to appreciate other people’s perspectives and treat everyone respectfully.
• Maintain a routine: Build a stable, healthy routine that involves work or school, exercise, a healthy diet, and creative or active hobbies.
• Own your mistakes: Take ownership of your actions and don’t try to blame others for your circumstances. Own up to your mistakes and work on correcting them.
• Let go of things that don’t serve you: It’s important to let go of things that are no longer serving you. This could include habits, thought processes, relationships, or activities in your life.
• Express gratitude: Be grateful and make it a point to express your thanks for the big and small things you value in your life.

Characteristics of Mature People

These are some of the characteristics of mature people, compared to those of immature people.

Benefits of Being Mature

These are some of the benefits of being more mature, according to Dr. Romanoff:

• Better relationships: Your relationships may start to improve as you become more mature. You will likely experience fewer arguments and deeper connections with the people around you.
• More stability: With better decision-making skills comes more stability across the different domains of your life, including work, family, friendships, and romantic relationships.
• Less conflict: The little things that used to set you off-tilt will be less likely to bother you. You will be steadier in your life and unfazed by things that truly don’t matter to you.

Potential Pitfalls of Being Immature

These are some of the potential pitfalls of being immature, according to Dr. Romanoff:

• Giving in to impulses: Immature people often have trouble controlling their impulses. For instance, they may want to do well in an exam but may not be able to resist the urge to play video games instead of studying. This can prevent them from achieving their goals. 
• Missing the bigger picture: Immature people tend to get caught up in small insignificant details or problems that consume their energy. This leaves them drained and prevents them from seeing the big picture, which can hamper their ability to meet their goals.
• Avoiding responsibility: Immature people may avoid responsibility, which can cause them to be dependent on others for far longer than they should be.

It’s natural to want to be respected. After all, humans are social animals and we want to be valued by our fellow tribe members. So, it’s only natural that criticism can sting and cause emotional pain.

In fact, scientists in one recent study looked closely at responses to both approving and disapproving videos involving social evaluation. Researchers analyzed the activity of 37 participants while they watched videos in which people expressed positive, negative, and neutral statements that tapped into basic emotions. Results showed that “criticism hurt everybody.”

While some comments or actions are actually offensive, if you find that your feelings are hurt very often or you tend to assume that someone meant to cause you emotional harm, it’s possible that you’re prone to taking things too personally.

Read on to learn why people take things personally, how to know when you’re taking something too personally, and how to identify the instances in which taking things personally can actually benefit you. You’ll also learn how to take things less personally.

What Causes People to Take Things Personally?

It’s normal to care about what others think about us but not to the point where it hinders us. The causes of why we take things personally stem from a variety of factors:

• Negative self talk. We might constantly tell ourselves we’re not good enough or it’s always our fault. So, in the face of ugly comments, we’ll easily believe negative things said about us.
• Childhood trauma. Lack of emotional support in childhood and being blamed as a child by parents can contribute to our feelings that we deserve to be mocked or humiliated.
• Poor self-esteem. People with low self-esteem sometimes worry too much about what others think. They may very well take things too personally.
• Anxiety disorders. Those who have social anxiety are extremely afraid of being judged and embarrassed.
• Perfectionism. Perfectionists have a hard time when others talk about their flaws as they have unrealistic standards about what they should be.
• Stress or fatigue. When you’re not in the best mood, you may be more prone to misinterpreting someone’s comments.
• Emotional sensitivity. If you’re a highly sensitive person, you may take things more personally.

How to Know When You’re Taking Something Too Personally

We often overlook the compliments we receive like, “Oh, you look nice today.” Sometimes we spend too much energy on the shortcomings people talk about.

For example, you might have gotten upset after your boss said you’re not yet ready to handle a bigger project. With a different perspective, you could’ve reframed what he said as constructive criticism instead.

With rumination, you’re holding onto a perceived critical conversation way too long. For some, replaying what happened enables them to imagine giving a different response. For others, rumination reminds them of their own weakness. Overthinking can become disempowering. Rumination can occur with conditions like obsessive-compulsive disorder.

According to one study, rumination can magnify and prolong negative moods and interfere with problem-solving, impact levels of people’s anxiety and depression. It can also interfere with and limit the effectiveness of psychological interventions. Rumination was also shown to worsen people’s stress levels.

Benefits of Taking Things Personally

This might sound surprising, but there are positive aspects to taking things personally. By taking things personally, family and friends or those in meaningful relationships with us, are cued into what hurts us. When equipped with this knowledge, they may modify their behavior so that they don’t offend you.

How to Stop Taking Things Personally

After someone offends you, here are a few techniques you might use so you don’t go home feeling upset:

• Practice emotional resilience.
• Give people the benefit of the doubt because it’s possible that you misunderstood what they were saying.
• Ask the person to clarify what they’ve said.
• Stop worrying about what others think about you.
• Give yourself credit for your strengths.
• Try mindfulness so that you can stay in the present and relieve stress.
• Journal your thoughts.
• Repeat positive affirmations to yourself.
• Seek mental health treatment with a licensed therapist.

It’s normal to take things personally every now and then. However, if you find that you’re regularly feeling upset or offended by other people’s comments, it’ll begin to impact your own mental health. So, it’s important to learn how to recognize when your reaction is out of proportion to a comment or perceived slight.

Of course, if you’re experiencing verbal abuse or notice that someone is actually trying to hurt your feelings, it’s time to re-evaluate your relationship with that person. If you need assistance in discerning between minor criticisms versus emotional abuse, seek help from a therapist.

Maybe you have a friend in the neighborhood or at work and you now have romantic feelings for them. You may even be ready to tell that person about your newfound feelings, but how do you have this conversation when there are so many factors to consider?

It’s normal to get close to a friend or co-worker. Maybe one day it unexpectedly hits you: you’re thinking of this person more than you would (or should) if they were just a regular friend. Or maybe you realize that gradually over time you’ve developed romantic feelings for this special someone.

Before you tell someone how you feel, it’s worth getting to the root of your true feelings, consider the relationship you currently have, and prepare yourself for whatever reaction they might have to this information.

You can definitely have this conversation without it being awkward or a death sentence for your relationship, but it’s a sensitive topic nonetheless.

Figure Out Your Real Feelings

Sometimes we’re confused about our closeness to someone. Do we care for them as a really good friend? Or in another way? To better assess what you feel, take some time to reflect on these possibilities.

Is it infatuation? If your feelings came on quickly, you think this person is perfect and you’re operating in a daze, you could well be infatuated with this person. Consider whether you’re seeing this person in a true light. Do you think a healthy relationship is possible with them?

Is it physical and sexual chemistry? Maybe as you spent more time together, you became more attracted to this person. Think about if you desire a short—term hot fling, long-term love, or something else.

Is it lust? That overwhelming feeling of desire might indicate you have feelings of lust. If you’re driven by sexual attraction and the physical, surface relationship, you’re not driven by emotional, deep feeling or a need for partnership.

Is it love? Love includes a deep caring attachment. It’s a close, intimate bond between two people. It is characterized by shared vulnerability, passion, tenderness and devotion to the other’s well-being.

Once you determine your true feelings, you can better understand what kind of relationship you want.

Consider the Type of Relationship You Have Now

Think about the type of relationship you’re currently in with this person. Before telling someone you have feelings for them, you might take into account the repercussions, depending on whether you’re both close friends, co-workers, exes or casual dating partners.

Close Friends

As close friends, you already have two fundamental pillars of a solid romantic relationship: trust and enjoyment of time together. More good news: when friendship is at the heart of a relationship, it bodes well for romance.

In fact, friendship is a key component of successful romantic relationships. One study examined non-married couples who cherished the friendship aspect of their relationship. Results showed that these friendship-based relationships were linked to high levels of sexual gratification and commitment.

But should this special someone not share your feelings, keep in mind that after admitting your desire to expand the friendship, the friendship could be affected. This is an outcome that requires some mental and emotional preparation.

Co-Workers

Investigate the dos and don’ts of dating within your company as some organizations forbid all romantic relationships. Then adhere to work protocols. Be sure to think about the consequences of disclosing that you have a crush on somebody you work with. What if they feel the same way? What if they don’t?  

Will your admission make working together uncomfortable and add to work stress? Also, don’t overlook what might happen to your livelihood in the case of a possible breakup. This will help you determine if a romantic relationship is worth pursuing.

Exes

Relationships often end for a good reason. Assuming that the reason was circumstantial or based on bad timing, maybe you want to rekindle a relationship. If you’re both single and you want to tell your ex that you still have feelings for them, be sure to consider whether you’re returning to an unhealthy dynamic. Are you romanticizing the positives? Are you forgetting upsetting memories?

Casual Dating Partners

Maybe you’re dating and happily hooking up. Are you choosing this kind of relationship or are you settling for it? How will wanting something else affect this relationship?

Are You Ready for a Relationship? Take the Quiz

Our fast and free quiz can help you examine your feelings and determine whether or not you may be ready to take the next step with someone you care about:

This quiz was reviewed by Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD

What to Say to Someone You Have Feelings For

Once you determine what you’re feeling and what kind of involvement you’d like with this person, assuming they are not already in a relationship, you should say something. According to Dr. Amy E. Keller, PsyD and marriage and family therapist, “Don’t avoid telling someone that you have feelings for them because avoidance begets avoidance. Everyone gets one vote. Even if you think a relationship is unlikely, don’t take away the other person’s vote.”

Practice a few scripts until you’re comfortable reciting one of them. Be honest, genuine and straightforward. You might say something like, “We’ve been friends (or co-workers or exes) for a while. But I realized that I’ve developed more than platonic feelings for you. It’s OK if you don’t feel the same way, but I really wanted to let you know.”

Give that person time. Tell them they don’t need to respond in the moment. Keller says “they may not have identified their feelings for you as you were already in the friend box.”  Let them respond in the way they’re most comfortable, too. She says, “By all means, welcome their text, email, snail mail, phone call, Facetime, or real face time.”

With conditional love, you tell someone you love them and you expect them to answer back the same thing or you’ll be hurt or insulted. Keller reminds us that “in unconditional love, you let people say what they want and be who they are.”

How to Cope If They Don’t Feel the Same Way

If they desire the same kind of romantic relationship you really want, that is ideal. But rejection is also possible.

Research that looked at common responses to rejection in healthy young to middle-aged adults underscores that romantic rejection can be a stressful life event in adults and can lead to sadness, appetite loss and depression.

To lessen debilitating reactions to this kind of rejection, reframe the situation positively. In healthy relationships you both want the same things and in this particular case, you’re both on different pages. You told someone you had feelings for them. Even if the feeling wasn’t reciprocated, congratulate yourself on being brave and true to yourself.

Choose from a variety of healthy ways to manage the sting of rejection including:

The Big 5 personality traits represent one of the most well-known frameworks for understanding our personalities and how we respond to the world around us. If you aren’t sure which of the traits is most dominant for you, this free big 5 personality test can help you gain some valuable insight into your nature.

Who Is This Big 5 Personality Test For?

This Big 5 Personality Test is for anyone curious to learn more about their personality. Knowing which trait is most dominant can help you gain some insight into yourself and how you respond to certain situations in life. In turn, this may also give you insight into how others might perceive your actions or personality.

About Personality Trait Theory

The study of personality traits has a long history, going back to ancient Greek and Chinese societies. Both historic societies gave physiological and mental motives for one-of-a-kind character types. At the end of the 18th century, when psychiatry as a medical science was beginning, theories about personality were also taking shape.

Researchers don’t exactly know how personality forms and whether or not it can change over time. There’s some research to suggest personality traits have a genetic component, meaning traits can be inherited and have an environmental influence. A study also found Big 5 personality traits stayed the same in working-age adults over a four-year period.

These five traits represent broad areas of personality, but personality is complex. An individual’s genetics, environment, and life experiences play a role in which traits they express. 

What Traits Are in This Big 5 Personality Test?

Some people use the acronym OCEAN (openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism) as an easy way to remember the Big 5 Personality traits.

Each of the Big 5 traits represents a range of that trait. For example, extraversion represents the full spectrum from extreme extraversion to extreme introversion. Most people are somewhere in the middle of these extremes. 

Openness

Openness, also called openness to experience, describes curiosity, creativity, and imagination. People high in this trait are often curious about the world and other people. They enjoy new experiences and learning new things. 

People who are low in this personality trait may be resistant to new ideas or change and are not creative.

Conscientiousness

Conscientiousness is the personality trait associated with being very thoughtful and having good impulse control. People high in this trait are often goal-oriented, organized, and pay close attention to detail. They’re the ones planning ahead, and they are often aware of how their behavior impacts other people. 

Those who have less of this personality trait are likely to be less organized, dislike schedules and planning, procrastinate, and have trouble completing tasks on a deadline.

Extraversion

Extraversion is characterized by getting energized by social settings, being the center of attention, and meeting new people. Those who are higher in extraversion have a larger social circle and prefer to be around others because socializing is exciting and energizing. They may also talk before thinking about what they are going to say. 

The opposite of this trait is introversion. Those higher in introversion prefer to be alone, get tired from social situations, and don’t want to be the center of attention. They also think carefully before speaking.

Agreeableness

People high in agreeableness are more likely to be empathetic, help others, and show kindness and affection. They care for others and want to see them happy. Agreeableness is also associated with being more cooperative. 

People low in agreeableness may be more competitive, not concerned about how others feel, and have little interest in being helpful. In some cases, these people might also be manipulative. 

Neuroticism

Neuroticism is associated with emotional shifts in mood, anxiety, and sadness. People high in neuroticism experience more stress, are more irritable and easily upset and have trouble bouncing back from stressful events. 

People low in neuroticism are more likely to be resilient, relaxed, and can deal with stress more easily.

What to Takeaway From This Big 5 Personality Test

Who you are as a person can’t be summed up by a single test. Your personality is far more complicated than that. What’s more, your personality isn’t set in stone. If you don’t like how you respond to certain situations or how people may perceive your behaviors, it is possible to change.

By challenging your self-beliefs and focusing your efforts, you can learn new habits, adjust how you think and act, and ultimately change aspects of your personality that you might find less desirable, or build upon positive traits that you would like to develop more.

When you think about OCD, someone obsessively cleaning or double-checking the locks might come to mind. However, OCD can present in many different ways. How symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) are experienced vary widely from person to person. Clinicians and researchers suggest that OCD can be divided into different types based on the nature of the symptoms experienced, resulting in several OCD subtypes.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR) provides a broad definition of obsessive-compulsive disorder that includes the presence of obsessions and/or compulsions that cause major distress or disruption to daily living. There are also other disorders that include elements of obsession or compulsion.

Main OCD Subtypes

The five main subtypes of OCD are:

1. Contamination obsessions with cleaning compulsions
2. Harm obsessions with checking compulsions
3. Obsessions without compulsions
4. Symmetry obsessions with ordering compulsions
5. Hoarding

Symptoms of the Different OCD Subtypes

Although specific symptom types appear to be relatively stable over time, it is possible to experience a change in the nature and focus of your symptoms. Additionally, although the majority of your symptoms might be consistent with a particular symptom subtype, it is possible to experience symptoms of multiple OCD subtypes at the same time.

Contamination Obsessions With Washing/Cleaning Compulsion

If you struggle with the contamination subtype of OCD, then you may experience intense discomfort or anxiety about things being dirty or contaminated with germs. In order to cope with these obsessive feelings, you may then wash or clean excessively to find relief and alleviate feelings of anxiety.

For example, you might feel that your hands are dirty or contaminated after touching a doorknob or worry that you will contaminate others with your germs. To get rid of these feelings, you might wash your hands repeatedly for hours at a time.

Harm Obsessions With Checking Compulsions

If you experience this symptom subtype, you will often have intense thoughts related to possible harm to yourself or others. You use checking rituals to relieve your distress.

For example, you might imagine your house burning down, then repeatedly drive by your house to make sure that there is no fire. Or, you may feel that by simply thinking about a disastrous event, you are increasing the likelihood of such an event actually happening.

Obsessions Without Visible Compulsions

This symptom subtype, sometimes referred to as purely obsessional or pure O OCD, often relates to unwanted obsessions surrounding sexual, religious, or aggressive themes. For example, you could experience intrusive thoughts about being a rapist or that you will attack someone.

You may often use mental rituals such as reciting particular words, counting in your head, or praying to relieve the anxiety you experience when you have these involuntary thoughts. You will usually avoid riggers related to obsessions at all costs.

Symmetry Obsessions With Ordering, Arranging, and Counting Compulsions

When experiencing this subtype, you feel a strong need to arrange and rearrange objects until they are “just right.” For example, you might feel the need to constantly arrange your shirts so that they are ordered precisely by color.

This symptom subtype can also involve thinking or saying sentences or words over and over again until the task is accomplished perfectly. Sometimes these ordering, arranging, and counting compulsions are carried out to ward off potential danger. For example, you might think, “If I arrange my desk perfectly, my husband won’t die in a car accident.” However, having such thoughts isn’t always the case with this subtype.

Hoarding

While hoarding has long been conceptualized as a variant of OCD, it is now recognized as a distinct diagnosis in the DSM-5-TR. Hoarding involves the collection of items that are judged to be of limited value by others, such as old magazines, clothes, receipts, junk mail, notes, or containers. Often, your living space becomes so consumed with clutter that it becomes impossible to live in.

People affected by the hoarding symptom subtype tend to experience higher anxiety and depression than people with other subtypes. They are often unable to maintain steady employment. Importantly, compulsive hoarding can occur independently of OCD.

Other OCD Subtypes

In addition to the main subtypes of OCD, a few others may also be commonly seen. Some of these include:

Relationship OCD

Relationship OCD is a subtype that involves experiencing obsessive and compulsive thoughts related to a person’s romantic relationship. It is often marked by severe fears and doubts about the relationship, including whether their partner loves them, excessive concern for their partner’s happiness, or wondering if they could find a better partner.

“Just Right” OCD

“Just right” OCD is driven by a general feeling that things are not quite right. To deal with this feeling, people often engage in compulsive behaviors related to counting, straightening, touching tapping, or lining things up.

False Memory OCD 

People with this OCD subtype experience frequent doubting thoughts. For example, they might worry about things they may have accidentally done in the past, such as whether they accidentally stole something or forgot to pay for something at the store. 

Magical Thinking OCD

People with this type of OCD often engage in magical thinking, believing that if they don’t engage in certain behaviors, completely unrelated events will occur. For example, they might believe something terrible will happen to a loved one if they don’t look at their phone at 8:15 every night.

Obsessive-Compulsive Related Disorders

The latest edition of the DSM included new definitions of these disorders or moved them to this category.

• Skin picking disorder (excoriation): The DSM-5-TR recognized this disorder as a distinct diagnosis. It involves persistent picking at the skin that results in lesions, infections, and clinically significant distress. It is prevalent in approximately 3.45% of the population.
• Hair-pulling disorder (trichotillomania): In this OCD-related disorder, you have a strong urge to pull the hair from your head, eyebrows, eyelashes, or elsewhere on your body. It is usually treated with habit-reversal training and cognitive-behavioral therapy.
• Body dysmorphic disorder: This disorder is a “preoccupation with one or more perceived defects or flaws in appearance that are not observable or appear slight to others.” The criteria include repetitive behaviors of grooming or checking appearance, or mental acts such as constantly comparing your appearance to others. Muscle dysmorphia is a subtype of body dysmorphic disorder.
• OCD and related disorders induced by a substance/medication or due to another medical condition: Exposure to certain substances and medications can induce the development of OCD symptoms. There also are certain medical and neurological conditions—including Tourette’s syndrome—that can be associated with the development of the disorder.

In addition, although it is not uncommon for new mothers to experience a wide array of emotions following the arrival of a new child, the postpartum period has long been known to be a time of increased risk for the appearance, worsening, or recurrence of mood and anxiety disorders.

OCD Subtypes in Children

Although many people think of OCD as a disorder that affects only adults, a similar percentage of children are also affected. While there are many similarities between adult-onset and childhood-onset OCD, there are also many important differences—particularly with respect to treatment and the nature of symptoms.

Children with PANDAS develop OCD or tic disorders suddenly after a strep infection (such as strep throat) or scarlet fever (or have a worsening of existing OCD symptoms). Studies at the National Institute of Mental Health have shown that a strep infection can produce cross-reactive “anti-brain” antibodies that produce the symptoms of PANDAS in children between the age of three and puberty.

Treatment for OCD Subtypes

Choosing a course of treatment for OCD depends on several factors, including:

• What has worked in the past
• Your attitudes toward medication
• Your motivation to undergo exposure response prevention (ERP) or cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT)
• The severity of your symptoms
• The presence of other disorders such as depression

An exception may be hoarding, which does not seem to improve with medication but does seem to respond to psychotherapy. Discuss with a psychologist or physician the ways in which ERP, CBT, and medication can be adjusted for maximum benefit based on your symptoms.