What Does It Mean to Dream of Your Partner Cheating on You?

by with No Comment Dating Tips, Guide and Advice


Key Takeaways

  • Dreaming that your partner is cheating is often more about your own fears and insecurities than your partner’s behavior.
  • Reflect on your feelings and talk with your partner about your fears, but avoid making unwarranted accusations about infidelity.

Dreams about your partner cheating can feel very real and upsetting, but they don’t necessarily mean that infidelity is actually happening. More often, these dreams reveal things about your own feelings of insecurity, jealousy, or fears about losing trust in your relationship.

Understanding what these dreams might mean can help you figure out what’s really bothering you and if it’s a sign you need to work on your connection or have a conversation with your partner.

Why You Might Dream That Your Partner Is Cheating

Dreaming of your partner cheating on you is a sure shot way to *ruin* your mood. You wake up feeling hurt, confused, and more than a little pissed off. You’re wondering what the dream means and whether your partner is actually cheating on you. You’re torn between snuggling up to them and kicking them out of bed.

Objectively, you know that it was just a dream. Subjectively, it’s a whole different story. You wonder if your subconscious mind might know something that you don’t…yet.

Don’t worry, you’re not alone. Research shows us that 20% to 30% of all dreams feature our partners in some way. Dreams of a sexual nature are also very common.

“Dreams about cheating are extremely common—they’re one of the top five dreams I’m asked about,” says Lauri Loewenberg, a certified dream analyst and author of “Dream on It: Unlock Your Dreams, Change Your Life.”

So why do these dreams happen? They often reflect emotions and fears rather than literal betrayal.

Common reasons you might dream that your partner is cheating include:

  • Feeling insecure or anxious about your relationship or self-worth
  • Fear of abandonment or being replaced by someone else
  • Trust issues caused by betrayals in past relationships
  • Feeling disconnected from your partner or lonely in your relationship
  • Jealousy of other people in your partner’s life
  • Feeling overlooked or unappreciated by your partner
  • Stress in other areas of your life that spills over into relationship anxiety
  • Concerns about your partner’s suspicious behavior (in which case, your gut feelings may be trying to tell you something)

Such dreams can also have symbolic meaning. In this case, “cheating” might be more about feeling like your partner’s attention is focused elsewhere, either on work, hobbies, friends, or phone use.

Does It Mean They’re Actually Cheating?

Well, that depends.

“In my experience, 99% of the time, these dreams are a sign that the dreamer is struggling with their own self-worth,” says Jesse Lyon, LMHC, MS, CCHT, QS, a hypnotherapist and dream interpreter. “These dreams come from a deep-seated sense of low self-esteem,” explains Lyon. “Deep down, we have a fear that we’re not good enough for our partner and that they will choose to be with someone else instead.”

If there’s no history of infidelity and you have no reason to suspect they’re cheating on you, then it’s very unlikely that the dream means your partner is cheating.

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LAURI LOEWENBERG, DREAM EXPERT

Although the dream can feel terribly real and even painful, it could be caused by a range of things, including experiences, stress, medication, fatigue, and relationship dynamics, says Michael Roeske, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist and senior director for the Newport Healthcare Center for Research and Innovation.

But—and there’s always a but—if your partner has cheated in the past or their actions seem suspicious, then the dream could be your intuition at work, Loewenberg explains. 

There have definitely been instances when the subconscious mind has picked up on subtle cues from a partner that something is not right in the relationship because the partner is cheating, says Lyon.

Or, if your partner has cheated on you in the past, the dream could be a sign that trust is still an issue and you have not healed, says Loewenberg.

How to Interpret Dreams About Your Partner Cheating

We asked the dream experts to help us decode the different types of dreams, to try and figure out what they mean.

Cheating on You With a Stranger

Dreaming of your partner cheating on you with a stranger could mean that you feel anxious that your partner is unsatisfied with you and will find someone else, says Lyon. 

He explains that it can also symbolize your own feelings of being neglected or undervalued, in favor of something else in your partner’s life. It could be something like your partner’s work, hobbies, or travel, says Loewenberg.

Cheating on You With Their Ex

Dreaming that your partner is cheating on you with their ex could be a huge sign that you’re feeling threatened by your partner’s ex, Lyon explains.

However, it’s important to pinpoint who is letting the ex influence your relationship, says Loewenberg. “Is your partner still in contact with the ex? Or are you the one constantly comparing yourself to the ex?” Accordingly, you will be able to determine whether the dream is caused by your insecurities or by your partner spending too much time with their ex.

Cheating on You With Someone You Know

If you have no reason to suspect that your partner and this particular person are hooking up in real life, then the person may be a symbol for something your partner is interested in, says Loewenberg. Our dreams often reflect our waking lives in metaphorical ways.

For instance, if you dream that your partner is cheating on you with someone who happens to be into chess, the dream could be a reflection of the fact that your partner has recently gotten interested in playing chess.

Loewenberg says the way to figure it out is to ask yourself what three things come to mind when you think of that person. Then, figure out whether there’s a common thread between any of those things and your partner.

Cheating on You With a Celebrity

Celebrities are a symbol of attention and recognition, says Lyon. “So, to dream of your partner cheating on you with a celebrity may symbolize that you’re not feeling valued or not receiving recognition, and this is causing issues in your romantic relationship.”

Catching Your Partner Cheating

The most common variation of this dream is that you catch your partner, and your partner either doesn’t care or acts like it’s no big deal, says Loewenberg. “This is a tell-tale sign that your partner is doing something that they are fine with, but you aren’t. It can even be something that they have no idea you have a problem with.”

Your mind may be showing you that it’s time to confront the issues in your relationship and “throw the covers off” of what’s hiding beneath, says Lyon.

Your Partner Telling You They’re Cheating on You

This one almost feels the most emotional out of all of them, says Lyon. “To hear your partner tell you that they are cheating on you in the dream really shows that you feel they have given up on you and that they have found someone better. This communicates deep feelings of being undervalued, neglected, and struggling with feeling worthy.”

What to Do If You Dream About Your Partner Cheating

If you’ve dreamt of your partner cheating on you, you may wonder what you’re supposed to do about it.

Unless you have evidence of your partner cheating, just notice any feelings you have, such as anger or fear, and reflect upon why you’re feeling that way, says Roeske. 

However, if the dreams recur or if they raise concerns about your relationship, he recommends communicating openly with your partner. Use the dream as a conversation starter so you can pinpoint the issue together and work on correcting it, says Loewenberg. 

If the dreams disturb you and bring up feelings you’re struggling to cope with, it may be helpful to talk to a mental healthcare provider who can help you explore what they mean to you and why.

Dreaming about your partner cheating can stir up a whirlwind of emotions, but it’s important to distinguish whether you had the dream because you suspect they may be cheating on you or because you’re insecure in some way. 

Confronting your partner with unwarranted accusations won’t help your relationship—or help you feel more secure. Instead, it may be helpful to address these issues with your partner. Talk about your concerns or fears about your relationship, but avoid lobbing allegations of infidelity. You can also reach out to a mental healthcare provider if you need support.


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5 Types of Self-Care for Every Area of Your Life

by with No Comment Dating Tips, Guide and Advice


Key Takeaways

  • Different types of self-care focus on promoting physical, mental, spiritual, social, and emotional health.
  • Using self-care strategies can boost happiness, reduce stress, and strengthen relationships.

Self-care involves intentional actions to support your well-being. This includes activities designed to care for your physical, mental, and emotional health. Understanding the different types of self-care and what they do can help you create a balanced, sustainable approach to taking care of yourself.

NickyLloyd / Getty Images


Why You Need Different Types of Self-Care

All the stress-relief activities in the world won’t help if we aren’t taking care of ourselves. Self-care has been defined as “a multidimensional, multifaceted process of purposeful engagement in strategies that promote healthy functioning and enhance well-being.” In simpler terms, self-care is all about caring for yourself—as the name suggests—to ensure your physical and emotional needs are met.

Types of self-care include:

  • Physical self-care: Exercise, healthy diet, hydration, access to health care, and getting enough sleep
  • Mental self-care: Spending time in nature, enjoying hobbies, learning new things, meditation, mindfulness, and therapy
  • Emotional self-care: Setting boundaries, expressing feelings, and doing things that make you happy
  • Social self-care: Spending time with people you love, volunteering, maintaining interpersonal relationships, and having healthy relationships
  • Spiritual self-care: Reflecting on values, finding your purpose, engaging in religious practices, expressing gratitude, and connecting with nature

Self-care is important because it helps re-establish balance and avoid burnout. It is often the mechanism of recalibrating and getting in touch with our ability to play, have fun, relax, and connect.

Good self-care can take on many forms. It could be ensuring we get enough sleep every night or stepping outside for a few minutes for some fresh air. It can also mean taking the time to do what we enjoy.

Sometimes, you might need more self-care in one specific area to restore balance or find relief from a stressor in your life. To care for your health and well-being, it’s important to find a balance that allows you to address each of these areas.

1. Physical Self-Care

We need to take care of our bodies if we want them to run efficiently. Remember that there’s a strong connection between our body and our mind. When we care for our bodies, we’ll think and feel better, too.

Physical self-care includes fueling your body, getting enough sleep, doing enough physical activity, and caring for your physical needs. Attending healthcare appointments, taking medication as prescribed, and managing your health are all part of good physical self-care.

“Exercise is a tangible instance where you can observe the payoff of your perseverance towards a goal,” says clinical psychologist Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD. “You can push past the limitations of your mind and prove to yourself you may be stronger than you previously thought. This is one of the ways exercise helps with confidence and resilience.”

When it comes to physical self-care, ask yourself the following questions to assess whether there might be some areas you need to improve:

  • Are you getting adequate sleep?
  • Is your diet fueling your body well?
  • Are you taking charge of your health?
  • Are you getting enough exercise? 

2. Social Self-Care

Socialization is key to self-care. But, often, it’s hard to make time for friends, and it can be easy to neglect our relationships when life gets busy.

Close connections are important to your well-being. The best way to cultivate and maintain close relationships is to put time and energy into building our relationships with others.

There isn’t a certain number of hours you should devote to your friends or work on your relationships. Everyone has slightly different social needs. The key is to figure out what your social needs are and to build enough time in your schedule to create an optimal social life.

To assess your social self-care, consider:

  • Are you getting enough face-to-face time with your friends?
  • What are you doing to nurture your relationships with friends and family?

3. Mental Self-Care

How we think and what we’re filling our minds with greatly influence our psychological well-being.

Mental self-care includes activities that keep your mind sharp, like puzzles or learning about a subject that fascinates you. Reading books or watching inspiring movies might also fuel your mind.

Mental self-care also involves doing things that help you stay mentally healthy. Practicing self-compassion and acceptance, for example, helps you maintain a healthier inner dialogue.

Here are a couple of questions to consider when you think about your mental self-care:

  • Are you making enough time for activities that mentally stimulate you?
  • Are you doing proactive things to help you stay mentally healthy?

4. Spiritual Self-Care

Research shows that a lifestyle including religion or spirituality is generally a healthier lifestyle.

Nurturing your spirit, however, doesn’t have to involve religion. It can involve anything that helps you develop a deeper sense of meaning, understanding, or connection with the universe.

Whether you enjoy meditation, attending a religious service, or praying, spiritual self-care is essential.

As you consider your spiritual life, ask yourself:

  • What questions do you ask yourself about your life and experience?
  • Are you engaging in spiritual practices that you find fulfilling?

5. Emotional Self-Care

It’s important to have healthy coping skills to deal with uncomfortable emotions, like anger, anxiety, and sadness. Emotional self-care may include activities that help us acknowledge and express our feelings regularly and safely.

Whether you talk to a partner or close friend about how you feel, or you set aside time for leisure activities that help you process your emotions, it’s important to incorporate emotional self-care into your life.

When assessing your emotional self-care strategies, consider these questions:

  • Do you have healthy ways to process your emotions?
  • Do you incorporate activities into your life that help you feel recharged?

Other Kinds of Self-Care

The five types of self-care listed above aren’t the only ways you can support your well-being. Other forms of self-care can include:

  • Financial self-care: Managing your money responsibly
  • Professional self-care: Coping with your work stress and setting career-related goals
  • Educational self-care: Learning new things, pursuing educational opportunities, and taking care of school-related stress
  • Environmental self-care: Taking care of your surroundings and taking steps to protect and preserve the environment

Remember, self-care isn’t one-size-fits-all. What works for you might not be as effective or helpful for someone else. The trick is to figure out what you need and then take intentional steps to address those needs. The best way to support yourself is to find things that help reduce your stress, bring you joy, and support your physical and social well-being.

Why Is Self-Care Important?

Having an effective self-care routine has been shown to have a number of important health benefits. Some of these include:

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), self-care is important because it can help promote health, prevent disease, and help people better cope with illness.

Specific forms of self-care have also been linked to different health and wellness benefits, including a longer life. Exercise, finding a sense of purpose in life, and sleep have all been connected to an increased lifespan.

Develop Your Self-Care Plan

An effective self-care plan should be tailored to your life and your needs. It needs to be something created by you, for you. Customizing your own self-care plan can act as a preventative measure to make sure that you don’t get overwhelmed, overstressed, and burned out.

Assess which areas of your life need more attention and self-care. And reassess your life often. As your situation changes, your self-care needs are likely to shift too.

As you are building your self-care plan, the following steps can be helpful:

  • Assess your needs: Make a list of the different parts of your life and major activities that you engage in each day. Work, school, relationships, and family are some you might list. 
  • Consider your stressors: Think about the aspects of these areas that cause stress and consider some ways you might address that stress.
  • Devise self-care strategies: Think about some activities that you can do that will help you feel better in each of these areas of your life. Spending time with friends or developing boundaries, for example, can be a way to build healthy social connections.
  • Plan for challenges: When you discover that you’re neglecting a certain aspect of your life, create a plan for change.
  • Take small steps: You don’t have to tackle everything all at once. Identify one small step you can take to begin caring for yourself better.
  • Schedule time to focus on your needs: Even when you feel like you don’t have time to squeeze in one more thing, make self-care a priority. When you’re caring for all aspects of yourself, you’ll find that you are able to operate more effectively and efficiently.

Press Play for Advice on Being Human

Hosted by therapist Amy Morin, LCSW, this episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast shares what it means to be ‘wholly human,’ featuring GRAMMY award-winning singer LeAnn Rimes. Click below to listen now.

Follow Now: Apple Podcasts / Spotify / Google Podcasts 

Which Types of Self-Care Do You Need?

The demands of your daily life can dictate what type of self-care you might need the most. A self-care plan for a busy college student who feels mentally stimulated all the time and has a bustling social life might need to emphasize physical self-care. A retired person, on the other hand, may need to incorporate more social self-care into their schedule to make sure that their social needs are being met.

Self-care isn’t a one-size-fits-all strategy. Your self-care plan will need to be customized to your needs and what is currently going on in your life. You don’t want to wait until you’ve reached your breaking point. The goal is to take steps each day to make sure that you are getting what you need to deal with the stress and challenges you face in your daily life.

Mental Health in the Workplace Webinar

On May 19, 2022, Verywell Mind hosted a virtual Mental Health in the Workplace webinar, hosted by Amy Morin, LCSW. If you missed it, check out this recap to learn ways to foster supportive work environments and helpful strategies to improve your well-being on the job.


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