Posts in category: Dating Tips, Guide and Advice

When you think of bullying, the physically and verbally aggressive behavior that school children endure from their peers might be what immediately springs to mind. However, it’s important to recognize that bullying can come in many different forms. Just because it doesn’t involve physical or verbal aggression doesn’t mean that it doesn’t count as bullying. In fact, there are actually six different kinds of bullying: physical, verbal, relational, cyber, sexual, and prejudicial.

These types of bullying often overlap. Bullies frequently use more than one form to abuse a victim. Moreover, bullying isn’t limited to kids and teenagers. Adults can also be guilty of bullying.

What Exactly Is Bullying?

Bullying is defined as any intentional, repeated aggressive behavior directed by a perpetrator against a target in the same age group.

Sometimes, the power imbalance is obvious when, for example, a bigger, stronger kid bullies a weaker, smaller kid or when a group of people bullies a single individual. However, sometimes the power imbalance is more difficult to discern because it involves less obvious factors, such as differences in popularity, intelligence, or ability, or knowledge of the information the victim finds embarrassing.

6 Types of Bullying

Bullying falls into six categories, some of which are more obvious than others. They include:

1. Physical bullying
2. Verbal bullying
3. Relational bullying
4. Cyberbullying
5. Sexual bullying
6. Prejudicial bullying

Physical Bullying

Physical bullying is the most obvious type of bullying and what many people think of when they imagine this kind of aggression.

Physical bullying is perpetrated by an individual or group of individuals who are bigger or stronger than the individual being targeted.

Studies have shown that boys are more likely to be involved in physical bullying than girls. For example, research has found that boys are more likely to be both the perpetrators and victims of physical bullying.

Some research suggests that such differences stem from gender differences in socialization. Boys are socialized to use direct aggression, whereas girls are socialized to express aggression indirectly.

Verbal Bullying

Verbal bullying involves using spoken or written words to insult or intimidate a victim. It includes name-calling, teasing, and even threats.

Verbal bullying isn’t always easy to recognize because it often takes place when authority figures aren’t around. Moreover, a bully can pass it off as good-natured ribbing between friends. As a result, it can be difficult for the victim to prove. Therefore, this form of bullying can become a long-term source of stress and anxiety.

Relational Bullying

Relational bullying, which is also referred to as relational aggression or social bullying, involves actions intended to harm a victim’s reputation or relationships. It can include embarrassing the victim in public, spreading rumors, purposely leaving them out of social situations, or ostracizing them from a group.

Relational bullying is often associated with so-called “mean girls.” However, while research has shown girls are more often the victims of relational bullying than boys, both boys are more likely to be perpetrators of this type of bullying.

On the other hand, studies suggest that girls who engage in relational bullying have worse adjustment problems, including issues maintaining fulfilling and positive relationships.

Relational bullying can lead to isolation, loneliness, depression, and social anxiety. Unfortunately, research indicates that teachers, school counselors, and other educational staff tend to feel relational bullying is less serious and have less empathy for victims of relational bullying than victims of physical and verbal bullying.

This may be because the severity of relational bullying is more challenging to detect. Physical and verbal bullying results in disciplinary action toward the perpetrator around 50% of the time, whereas this response only happens 10% of the time with relational bullying

Cyberbullying

Cyberbullying is bullying that happens via electronic devices like computers, smart phones, and tablets. It can take place over text messages, social media, apps, or online forums and involves posting or sending harmful content, including messages and photos, and sharing personal information that causes humiliation.

In-person bullying is still more prevalent than cyberbullying but cyberbullying is a growing problem. Not only are perpetrators of cyberbullying less likely to be caught, but the online nature of cyberbullying can also be especially damaging to victims.

Similarly, targets of cyberbullying may be constantly reminded of the online bullying they’ve endured because, even if they block the cyberbully, others may see and share the evidence.

Sexual Bullying

Sexual bullying is online or in-person bullying that involves sexual comments or actions, including sexual jokes and name-calling, crude gestures, spreading sexual rumors, sending sexual photos or videos, and touching or grabbing someone without permission.

Meanwhile, sexting, sending or receiving sexually explicit messages or images between electronic devices, is becoming increasingly common.

Research shows that among kids between the ages of 11 and 17, 15% of them sent sexts and 27% received sexts; the prevalence of the behavior increases as adolescents age.

When sexts are sent without consent, such as when private nude photos or videos of an individual are widely shared among a peer group, it can lead to sexual bullying and even sexual assault.

Prejudicial Bullying

Prejudicial bullying involves online or in-person bullying based on the target’s race, ethnicity, religion, or sexual orientation. It is based on stereotypes and is often a result of the belief that some people deserve to be treated with less respect than others.

Though prejudicial bullying has been studied less than other types of bullying, research indicates that ethnic and sexual minorities are more likely to be bullied than their peers.

How Common Is Bullying?

Bullying is widespread and can negatively impact both bullying victims and the bullies themselves.

A 2019 survey by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) found that 19.5% of ninth through twelfth graders were bullied on school property in the 12 months prior to completing the questionnaire.

Moreover, a study by the World Health Organization (WHO) conducted in 2013 and 2014 in 42 countries in Europe and North America found that, on average, 14% of 11-year-old boys and 11% of 11-year-old girls were bullied at least twice in the previous two to three months.

Mental Health Effects of Bullying

People who are bullied can experience a plethora of short- and long-term problems, including depression and anxiety, social withdrawal, substance abuse, difficulties at school or work such as underachieving and poor attendance, and even suicide.

In addition, children who are targets of bullying may become victims or perpetrators of violence later in life. Meanwhile, those who bully others are more likely to get into fights and vandalize property, abuse drugs and alcohol, have criminal convictions in adulthood, and abuse their romantic partners and children.

Even people who simply observe bullying can experience issues, including mental health difficulties and increased substance use.

Cultural relativism suggests that ethics, morals, values, norms, beliefs, and behaviors must be understood within the context of the culture from which they arise. It means that all cultures have their own beliefs and that there is no universal or absolute standard to judge those cultural norms. 

“Cultural relativism leads us to accept that cultures are foundationally different, with differing social and ethical norms. This includes understanding that a person’s place of birth, including where or how a patient was raised during their formative years, is the basis of a person’s approach to the world and emotional self,” says Anu Raj, PsyD, a clinical psychologist at New York Institute of Technology.

It is the opposite of ethnocentrism, which involves judging or understanding cultural beliefs from the perspective of your own. Instead, cultural relativism suggests that observers and researchers should focus on describing those practices without attempting to impose their own biases and judgments upon them.

Beliefs of Cultural Relativism

Cultural relativism suggests that:

• Different societies have their own moral codes and practices.
• Norms, beliefs, and values must be judged and understood from the context of the culture where they originate.
• No culture is objectively better than others; cultures and their customs and beliefs are not objectively superior or inferior to any other culture.
• Practices and behaviors considered acceptable or unacceptable vary from one culture to the next.
• Cultural relativism aims to help promote acceptance, tolerance, and an appreciation for diverse cultural beliefs and practices.
• No universal ethical or moral truths apply to all people in all situations.
• What is considered right and wrong is determined by society’s moral codes.
• Researchers and observers should strive to observe behavior rather than pass judgments on it based on their own cultural perspective.

Different Types of Cultural Relativism

There are two distinct types of cultural relativism: absolute cultural relativism and critical cultural relativism.

Absolute Cultural Relativism

According to this perspective, outsiders should not question or judge cultural events. Essentially, this point of view proposes that outsiders should not criticize or question the cultural practices of other societies, no matter what they might involve.

Critical Cultural Relativism

Critical cultural relativism suggests that practices should be evaluated in terms of how and why they are adopted. This perspective suggests that cultural practices can be evaluated and understood by looking at factors such as the historical context and social influences.

It also recognizes that all societies experience inequalities and power dynamics that influence how and why certain beliefs are adopted and who adopts them.

Strengths of Cultural Relativism

Cultural relativism has a number of benefits that can help people gain greater insight into different cultures. This perspective can help:

• Promote cultural understanding: Because cultural relativism encourages seeing cultures with an open mind, it can foster greater empathy, understanding, and respect for cultures different from ours. 
• Protect cultural respect and autonomy: Cultural relativism recognizes that no culture is superior to any other. Rather than attempting to change other cultures, this perspective encourages people to respect the autonomy and self-determinism of other cultures, which can play an important role in preserving the heritage and traditions of other cultures.
• Foster learning: By embracing cultural relativism, people from different backgrounds are able to communicate effectively and create an open dialogue to foster greater learning for other cultures of the world.

Cultural relativism can also be important in helping mental health professionals deliver culturally competent care to clients of different backgrounds.

“What’s considered “typical and normal versus pathological” depends on cultural norms. It varies between providers and patients; it impacts diagnosis, treatment, and prognosis,” Raj explains.

Limitations of Cultural Relativism

While cultural relativism has strengths, that does not mean it is without limitations.

Failure to Address Human Rights

This perspective has been criticized for failing to address universal rights. Some suggest that this approach may appear to condone cultural practices that constitute human rights violations. It can be challenging to practice non-judgment of other cultures while still protecting people’s right to live free from discrimination and oppression.

Reducing Cultures to Stereotypes

Cultural relativism sometimes falls victim to the tendency to stereotype and simplify cultures. Rather than fully appreciating the full complexity and diversity that may exist within a culture, people may reduce it to a homogenous stereotype. This often prevents outsiders from seeing the many variations that may exist within a society and fully appreciating the way cultures evolve over time.

Individual Rights vs. Cultural Values

This perspective may sometimes lead observers to place a higher priority on a culture’s collective values while dismissing individual variations. This might involve, for example, avoiding criticism of cultures that punish political dissidents who voice opposition to cultural norms, and practices.

Examples of Cultural Relativism

In reality, people make cultural judgments all the time. If you’ve ever eaten food from another culture and described it as ‘gross’ or learned about a specific cultural practice and called it ‘weird,’ you’ve made a judgment about that culture based on the norms of your own. Because you don’t eat those foods or engage in those practices in your culture, you are making culture-biased value judgments.

An example of using cultural relativism in these cases would be describing the food practices of a different culture and learning more about why certain foods and dishes are important in those societies. Another example would be learning more about different cultural practices and exploring how they originated and the purpose they serve rather than evaluating them from your own cultural background. 

In medical settings, healthcare practitioners must balance the interests and autonomy of their patients with respect and tolerance for multicultural values.

Cultural Relativism in Mental Health

Cultural relativism can also play an important role in the practice and application of mental health. “An individual’s perception of mental health, including stigma, is often influenced by their cultural identity and social values,” explains Raj.

People who experience cultural discrimination are also more likely to experience higher stress levels, which can seriously affect mental health. Research has shown that perceived discrimination increases psychological distress and predicts symptoms of anxiety and depression. It also contributes to worse physical health, including a higher risk for heart disease, diabetes, cancer, and stroke.

Cultural Relativism vs. Ethnocentrism

Cultural relativism and ethnocentrism are two contrasting perspectives that can be used to evaluate and understand other cultures.

Where cultural relativism suggests that all cultures are equally valid, ethnocentrism involves seeing your own culture as superior or more correct than others.

Cultural relativism emphasizes the importance of diversity and recognizes that values, beliefs, and behaviors can vary across societies. This can be contrasted with ethnocentrism, which promotes the idea that your own culture is the norm or benchmark against which others should be evaluated. This can limit understanding and decrease tolerance for people of different backgrounds. 

How Do You Promote Cultural Relativism?

There are a number of strategies that can help promote cultural relativism. This can be particularly important for mental health professionals and other healthcare practitioners. 

“Therapists must be able to view the world through the eyes of their patients. Most importantly, culturally competent therapists understand their patient’s behavior through the cultural framework in which they live,” Raj says.

Promoting cultural relativism involves adopting an open-minded and respectful approach toward other cultures. Some things you can do to foster greater cultural relativism:

• Embrace cultural diversity: Strive to appreciate other cultures, including their unique values, traditions, and perspectives. Remember that diversity enriches our lives, experiences, and world knowledge.
• Learn more about other cultures: Take the time to explore cultures other than your own, including histories, traditions, and beliefs. Resources that can help include books, documentaries, and online resources.
• Practice empathy: Seek to understand others by imagining things from their perspective. Try to understand their experiences, challenges, and aspirations. Cultivate empathy and respect for the differences between people and cultures.
• Seek diversity: Make an active effort to spend more time with people from different walks of life. Talk to people from diverse backgrounds and approach these discussions with an open mind and a desire to learn. Be willing to share your own perspectives and experiences without trying to change others or impose your beliefs on them.
• Challenge biases: Try to become more aware of how your unconscious biases might shape your perceptions and interactions with others. Practicing cultural relativism is an ongoing process. It takes time, open-mindedness, and a willingness to reflect on your biases.

Promoting Cultural Relativism Among Mental Health Professionals

How can therapists apply cultural relativism to ensure they understand other cultural perspectives and avoid unintentional biases in therapy?   

A 2019 study found that the ideal training for therapists included graduate coursework in diversity, supervised clinical experiences working with diverse populations, experiential activities, didactic training, and cultural immersion when possible.

She also suggests that therapists should always be willing to ask about client involvement in treatment planning. She recommends asking questions such as: 

• What approaches have been successful or failed in the past? 
• How does the patient perceive their ailment? 
• What were the results of the patient’s previous coping mechanisms? 
• How does the patient’s culture drive their behavior, coping skills, and outcomes?

By making clients an active part of their treatment and taking steps to understand their background better, therapists can utilize cultural relativism to deliver more sensitive, informed care.

If you’ve ever felt disconnected from the world when you’re anxious, you’ve probably wondered how to stop dissociating because of anxiety. Dissociation anxiety is not a specific diagnosis or set of symptoms. Rather, dissociation is a symptom, and it may be related to anxiety.

When a person experiences dissociation, they become disconnected from their surroundings or from themselves. This reaction works to temporarily alleviate potentially overwhelming emotional experiences such as traumatic memories and may temporarily reduce feelings of shame, anxiety, or fear—but it doesn’t function as a healthy long-term fix.

Dissociation related to anxiety may occur during a stressful, anxiety-inducing event or during or after a period of intense worry. Because dissociation is based on avoidance coping, it “works” in the short term but has long-term negative consequences.

What Is Dissociation?

Dissociation refers to being disconnected from the present moment. It is a subconscious way of coping with and avoiding a traumatic situation or negative thoughts.

Dissociation usually happens in response to a traumatic life event such as that which is faced while being in the military or experiencing abuse. In this way, dissociation is usually associated with trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). However, dissociation can also happen in the context of anxiety symptoms and anxiety disorders.

Often, dissociation that happens due to extreme stress or panic is recognized but attributed to other causes such as health issues. A person with panic disorder may seek medical attention for these symptoms and feel powerless to stop them.

Overall, dissociation interferes with the treatment of all types of disorders and makes it hard to pay attention to the present moment. It can also slow or prevent healthy trauma processing and coping. Because of this, it’s important to address dissociation through treatment and learn ways to cope.

Symptoms of Anxiety and Dissociation

The process of dissociation usually occurs outside your own awareness, though you may also realize it is happening, particularly if it is in the context of anxiety. The experience involves a disconnection between your memory, consciousness, identity, and thoughts.

In other words, while normally your brain processes events (such as your memories, identity, perceptions, motor function, etc.) together, during dissociation, these parts splinter, leaving you with a feeling of disconnection. Dissociation is a general term that refers to a detachment from many things.

Depersonalization

With depersonalization, your mind feels disconnected from your thoughts, feelings, actions, or body. Examples of this include feeling like you are watching a movie about yourself or that you don’t have an identity.

Some of the symptoms experienced as a result of depersonalization include:

• Alterations in your perceptions
• Distorted sense of time
• Emotional or physical numbing
• Feelings of yourself being unreal or absent

Derealization

Derealization causes a sensation where the world does not feel real. Examples of this include seeing the world all in shades of grey or having tunnel vision when looking at the world.

The symptoms involved with derealization include:

• Feeling like the world around you is not real
• Feeing the world as flat, dull, or grey
• Having tunnel vision when you look at the world

Diagnosis of Dissociation

There are three types of dissociative disorders in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). However, these are separate from dissociation related to anxiety:

• Depersonalization disorder: Characterized by ongoing feelings that you are detached from the world around you
• Dissociative amnesia: Characterized by trouble remembering events or having amnesia for events due to dissociation
• Dissociative identity disorder: Characterized by the presence of two or more distinct personalities and gaps in memory (formerly known as multiple personality disorder)

Again, there is no diagnosis of “dissociation anxiety,” although dissociation can be a symptom associated with anxiety disorders. The major anxiety disorders that may be related to dissociation as a symptom include:

Causes of Dissociation

While the exact cause of dissociation is unclear, experts note that dissociation correlates with mood and anxiety disorders and is also a way of dealing with trauma. As a result, dissociation often affects people who have experienced the following types of trauma:

• Accidents
• Assault
• Natural disasters
• Military combat
• Sexual or physical abuse

When dissociation is related to anxiety or panic, it tends to occur for a shorter period of time than when it is due to trauma or abuse or as a symptom of a diagnosable dissociative disorder.

In the case of anxiety, it is constant, low-level stress that puts a strain on your nervous system and eventually may cause you to dissociate to protect yourself; but remember, this all happens mostly at a level that you are likely not aware of.

Treatment of Anxiety and Dissociation

Anxiety is a treatable condition. The U.S. Preventative Services Task Force recommends that all adults below the age of 65 get screened for symptoms of an anxiety disorder during their regular doctor’s visits.

Although there is no specific treatment for dissociation, medications, and psychotherapy have been shown to help.

Medications

While there are no medications to specifically treat dissociation, your doctor may prescribe antipsychotics, antidepressants, or anti-anxiety medications to alleviate some of the symptoms of a dissociative condition.

Psychotherapy

Treatment for dissociation related to anxiety usually will involve psychotherapy (such as cognitive behavioral therapy or dialectical behavior therapy). Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) is another therapy that is sometimes used.

Since dissociation can interfere with the effectiveness of treatment, your therapist may ask you to do the following things to snap out of a period of dissociation:

• Make eye contact
• Eat a piece of candy to snap into the moment
• Get up and walk around for a bit
• Name five animals with letters that match the first five letters of the alphabet
• Name five things you see, hear, and feel
• Smell a particular scent for grounding, such as lavender
• Explain what happened if you look spaced out or recall what you were talking about when you spaced out
• Remember how using spacing out is an avoidance strategy

How to Stop Dissociating

The key to managing dissociation related to anxiety is to practice grounding techniques to bring yourself back into the present moment. You can do this by always having a “grounding plan” that you put in place when you find yourself spacing out or otherwise feeling as though you are dissociating.

In other words, the dissociation will stop when your brain no longer feels the need to protect you. Some preventative steps that you can take to manage dissociation related to anxiety include the following:

• Get enough sleep each night
• Get regular exercise every day
• Practice grounding techniques as noted in the treatment section above
• Prevent anxiety from becoming overwhelming
• Reduce daily stress and triggers

Are you concerned about dissociation anxiety? It could be that you actually have anxiety about your dissociation, rather than dissociation that is simply caused by anxiety.

If you are finding yourself very worried about dissociation symptoms, such as feeling detached from the world or things not feeling real, it’s important to speak to your doctor or a mental health professional about how you are feeling and what can be done to help you feel better. Only a professional can determine whether your symptoms are related to trauma or anxiety, or some combination of the two, which will influence your treatment plan.

Finally, if you don’t notice dissociation yourself, but others seem concerned about your behavior, it may still be worth seeking help. Dissociation is not always consciously recognized, so you may still be experiencing it.

Does your partner complain about not feeling well but won’t see a doctor? Does your partner make plans for a romantic evening or getaway with you and then ruin it by being suddenly disinterested or too tired? Does your partner make promises that aren’t kept? Does your partner acknowledge that there are problems in your relationship but refuses to change behaviors or see a counselor with you?

If your answer is “yes” to all or most of these questions, it sounds like you have a spouse or partner who either refuses or is not motivated to change. This can create problems that create conflict, hurt your relationship satisfaction, and potentially destroy your relationship.

It is important to find ways to address the issues with your partner and explore options that can help you cope and plan your next steps.

“Change can be a scary word for many people,” explains Carol Simmons, PhD, LCSW, a psychotherapist at Kaiser Permanente in Rockville, Maryland. “It’s is a difficult topic and should be managed with great sensitivity.”

Here’s how to recognize the signs that something needs to change, how to approach having this conversation with your partner, and what to do if your partner does not want to adjust their behavior.

Issues That Damage a Relationship

The frustration of your partner’s lack of follow-through on good intentions, saying one thing and then doing another, or breaking promises can slowly erode both the emotional and physical intimacy in your relationship. This frustration can be heightened if your partner refuses to seek couples counseling with you.

What can you do when faced with a partner who has a serious problem or troubling behavior? Here are some examples of a partner’s behavior that could destroy or cause major friction in a relationship:

• Doesn’t make time for the children or you
• Emotionally or physically abusive
• Frequently unfaithful
• Gambling
• Getting drunk often or drinking too much
• Having a very negative attitude
• Not able to hold down a job
• Spending too much money

If your partner won’t change, isn’t willing to work on improving your relationship, or won’t seek help, you may be on the path to a breakup or divorce. There are no easy answers when your partner can see no reason for a change.

How to Respond

If your relationship is suffering, it is essential to start taking steps if you want to prevent an unhappy relationship from taking a toll on your mental well-being. Some ways you can respond that can help include

Remember You Can’t Change Your Partner

It’s important to accept that you can’t change your partner. You can only change yourself and your own reactions. Changing your own behavior may trigger your partner to change. However, it is not your responsibility to change your partner. You can find ways to support them, but it is up to them to make the change.

Try responding differently to difficult situations. If you’ve had the same argument over and over, state that you will not rehash the issue and leave the room. If you haven’t expressed your feelings previously, share how you feel with your partner.

Sometimes, adjusting your own response to your partner’s behavior can shift the conversation in ways that are helpful.

Know Yourself

Get to know yourself and look at your own attitudes, behaviors, expectations, hopes, dreams, memories, concerns, behavior triggers, fears, etc. Ask yourself how long you think you can stay in your relationship if things don’t improve.

Consider individual counseling to prevent feeling depressed or helpless, to understand your role in the conflict in your relationship, and to clarify your plans for your future.

Decide which of your partner’s negative behaviors you can live with and which ones are deal-breakers. Determine if you can adjust to the irritating and hurtful situations in your relationship.

“Try rating the issue to determine how much that particular issue impacts you on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 equals the greatest severity,” Simmons recommends. “This will help you prioritize the issues and gain clarity on whether these are deal-breakers or if you are willing to compromise.”

Face The Issues

Your partner may not be as frustrated and unhappy as you are. When sharing your love for your partner, express your concerns and fears about the future of your relationship. If you are having doubts about your love, make a list of what you love about your partner.

Talking about your concerns is not always easy, especially if it is a sensitive topic or if the problem has been simmering for a long time. The only way to change the situation is to tell your partner how you feel and then have a serious discussion about what you can do, both as individuals and as partners, to address the problem.

Strategies for Difficult Conversations

So how should a person approach the conversation where they ask their spouse or partner to change? “During any discussion around change with your partner, it is important to discuss the positive aspects as well as the things that are not working well that have led to the discussion about change,” Simmons suggests. 

Consider starting the conversation with the things that you appreciate about your partner. Then you can move on to talking about the things that cause conflict in your relationships and provide examples of things that are challenging for you.

Dr. John Gottman, a clinical psychologist and founder of the Gottman Institute, says your communication patterns can predict the success of your relationship. When uncomfortable topics come up, try these tips for constructive communication:

• Agree to set a time frame to re-evaluate how things are going.
• Be warm and not confrontational.
• Brainstorm and discuss solutions to the problem. Bring up the possibility of couples counseling.
• Choose a time when neither of you is tired.
• Clarify how the problem is affecting your relationship.
• Don’t lecture.
• Identify the problem.
• Pick a location for the conversation that is free of distractions.
• Stay on the topic.
• Talk about what you want in your relationship, not about what you don’t want. Explain what makes you both happy and fulfilled.
• Try saying something like this: “We disagree a lot and it’s causing a disconnection between us. That’s why I would like for us to go to seek couples therapy.” or “I love you and I care about us. I need some help in learning how to communicate with you better. I would like to try counseling with you.”

If They Agree to Try

After you have a conversation, the next step involves trying things to improve the situation. This might involve allowing your partner to make changes on their own.

Simmons notes that it is important to give your partner time to make a change, particularly if it is something significant. She also suggests that change is more likely if your partner feels internally motivated instead of being pressured by external mandates.

“Couples may also consider couples counseling to help them work through the issue, either lessening the intensity, establishing boundaries, or eliminating the challenge,” Simmons suggests.

Should You End the Relationship?

At what point should a person consider ending a relationship if their partner refuses to change? Simmons notes that ending a relationship is a difficult and personal choice. There’s no simple answer, but there are steps people can take to help make the choice that is right for them.

Re-Evaluate

If things are not going well when the two of you are ready to re-evaluate your relationship issues, think about these questions:

• Is this a temporary crisis or the end of your relationship?
• What is the best thing that could happen if you stay together?
• What is the best thing that could happen if you divorce?
• What is the worst thing that could happen if you stay together?
• What is the worst thing that could happen if you divorce?

Perhaps the greatest decider is how willing your partner is to engage in the process of saving your relationship. If they won’t change or make any effort to improve the relationship, and you’ve already explored other options, such as couples counseling, then Simmons suggests it’s time to consider ending the relationship for your own sake.

“If you have a gut feeling that the relationship is no longer healthy or fulfilling, despite your best efforts to make it work, it may be time to consider ending the relationship and seeking out a healthier and more fulfilling one,” she recommends.

A cross-sectional study looks at data at a single point in time. The participants in this type of study are selected based on particular variables. Cross-sectional studies are typically used in developmental psychology, but they are useful in many other areas as well, including social science and education.

Cross-sectional studies are observational and are known as descriptive research, not causal or relational—meaning you can’t use them to determine the cause of something, such as a disease. Researchers record the information that is present in a population, but they do not manipulate variables.

This type of research can be used to describe characteristics that exist in a community, but not to determine cause-and-effect relationships between different variables. This method is often used to make inferences about possible relationships or to gather preliminary data to support further research and experimentation.

Defining Characteristics of Cross-Sectional Studies

Some of the key characteristics of a cross-sectional study include:

• The study takes place at a single point in time
• It does not involve manipulating variables
• It allows researchers to look at numerous characteristics at once (age, income, gender, etc.)
• It’s often used to look at the prevailing characteristics in a given population
• It can provide information about what is happening in a current population

Think of a cross-sectional study as a snapshot of a particular group of people at a given point in time. Unlike longitudinal studies, which look at a group of people over an extended period, cross-sectional studies are used to describe what is happening at the present moment.This type of research is frequently used to determine the prevailing characteristics in a population at a certain point in time. For example, a cross-sectional study might be used to determine if exposure to specific risk factors might correlate with particular outcomes.

A researcher might collect cross-sectional data on past smoking habits and current diagnoses of lung cancer, for example. While this type of study cannot demonstrate cause and effect, it can provide a quick look at correlations that may exist at a particular point.

Advantages of Cross-Sectional Studies

Cross-sectional studies are popular because they offer many benefits for researchers.

Inexpensive and Fast

Cross-sectional studies typically allow researchers to collect a great deal of information quickly. Data is often obtained inexpensively using self-report surveys. Researchers are then able to amass large amounts of information from a large pool of participants.

For example, a university might post a short online survey about library usage habits among biology majors, and the responses would be recorded in a database automatically for later analysis. This is a simple, inexpensive way to encourage participation and gather data across a wide swath of individuals who fit certain criteria.

Can Assess Multiple Variables

Researchers can collect data on a few different variables to see how they affect a certain condition. For example, differences in sex, age, educational status, and income might correlate with voting tendencies or give market researchers clues about purchasing habits.

Might Prompt Further Study 

Although researchers can’t use cross-sectional studies to determine causal relationships, these studies can provide useful springboards to further research. For example, when looking at a public health issue, such as whether a particular behavior might be linked to a particular illness, researchers might utilize a cross-sectional study to look for clues that can spur further experimental studies.

For example, researchers might be interested in learning how exercise influences cognitive health as people age. They might collect data from different age groups on how much exercise they get and how well they perform on cognitive tests. Conducting such a study can give researchers clues about the types of exercise that might be most beneficial to the elderly and inspire further experimental research on the subject.

Challenges of Cross-Sectional Studies

No method of research is perfect. Cross-sectional studies also have potential drawbacks.

Difficulties in Determining Causal Effects

Researchers can’t always be sure that the conditions a cross-sectional study measures are the result of a particular factor’s influence. In many cases, the differences among individuals could be attributed to variation among the study subjects. In this way, cause-and-effect relationships are more difficult to determine in a cross-sectional study than they are in a longitudinal study. This type of research simply doesn’t allow for conclusions about causation.

For example, a study conducted some 20 years ago queried thousands of women about their consumption of diet soft drinks. The results of the study, published in the medical journal Stroke, associated diet soft drink intake with stroke risk that was greater than that of those who did not consume such beverages. In other words, those who drank lots of diet soda were more prone to strokes. However, correlation does not equal causation. The increased stroke risk might arise from any number of factors that tend to occur among those who drink diet beverages. For example, people who consume sugar-free drinks might be more likely to be overweight or diabetic than those who drink the regular versions. Therefore, they might be at greater risk of stroke—regardless of what they drink.

Cohort Differences

Groups can be affected by cohort differences that arise from the particular experiences of a group of people. For example, individuals born during the same period might witness the same important historical events, but their geographic regions, religious affiliations, political beliefs, and other factors might affect how they perceive such events.

Report Biases

Surveys and questionnaires about certain aspects of people’s lives might not always result in accurate reporting. For example, respondents might not disclose certain behaviors or beliefs out of embarrassment, fear, or other limiting perception. Typically, no mechanism for verifying this information exists.

Cross-Sectional vs. Longitudinal Studies

Cross-sectional research differs from longitudinal studies in several important ways. The key difference is that a cross-sectional study is designed to look at a variable at a particular point in time. A longitudinal study evaluates multiple measures over an extended period to detect trends and changes.

Longitudinal studies tend to require more resources; these are often more expensive than those used by cross-sectional studies. They are also more likely to be influenced by what is known as selective attrition, which means that some individuals are more likely to drop out of a study than others. Because a longitudinal study occurs over a span of time, researchers can lose track of subjects. Individuals might lose interest, move to another city, change their minds about participating, etc. This can influence the validity of the study.

You’re dating a guy who goes with the flow for everything. He’s always cool with your restaurant, movie, and vacation choices. He listens. He’s loyal. You lead. He follows. Sounds familiar? Then you’re probably dating a beta male.

What Is a Beta Male?

What do characters like Phil Dunphy from Modern Family, Chandler Bing from Friends, and Marshall Eriksen from How I Met Your Mother have in common? They’re kind, supportive, more passive, emotionally expressive and attuned, nurturing, cooperative, and caring. All characteristics that describe a beta male, according to the pseudoscientific construct of a dominance hierarchy amongst humans.

Characteristics of a Beta Male

Tatiana Rivera Cruz, LCSW, a therapist who specializes in anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions, says beta males can be classified as men who lack dominance. They typically have passive traits like loyalty and support that help them in relationships, work, and social situations.

Some common characteristics of beta males include the following:

• Collaborating and cooperating with others to make a decision
• Struggles with saying “no” and being firm with boundaries
• Not competitive
• Friendly and warm
• Comfortable with emotions and intimacy
• Respects leadership
• Loyal
• Does not have a big ego
• Prefers to follow and not lead
• Trustworthy and reliable

Pros and Cons of Dating a Beta Male

Dating a beta male means having a partner who’s reliable and enjoys being there for you emotionally, mentally, and physically. They won’t engage in toxic masculinity and try to impress you with toughness or dominance. You won’t have to worry about any fragile egos. They’re kind, comfortable, and confident with themselves and where they’re at. All attributes that make a good partner.

However, not everyone desires a beta male in their relationship. For all their benefits, beta males have a few cons like unwillingness to take charge and poor communication.

A beta male can be the right partner, depending on the type of person you are in a relationship.

Why It Works For Some Couples

Clinical psychologist Dr. Sabrina Romanoff says a beta male partner is ideal for people who have strong opinions and enjoy being in control. Because a beta male will adapt their preferences to whomever they’re dating, they’re more compatible with a strong-minded and dominant person.

The Challenges of Dating a Beta Male

If you want a leader or protector, a beta male is not the partner for you, says Dr. Romanoff. Beta males are more comfortable in a submissive role. They want to be taken care of and would rather take directions instead of giving them.

The main challenge with dating a beta male is that may be conflict-avoidant and not straightforward with their needs. Beta males rarely put themselves first and often believe they must sacrifice their needs to preserve attachment to others. Instead of communicating clearly, they may attempt to get their needs met in indirect or passive-aggressive ways.

“Over time, the more [a beta male] prioritizes others over themselves, the more likely they will build resentment towards their partner and label them as a taker,” says Dr. Romanoff.

Beta Male vs. Alpha Male: What’s the Difference?

In Parks and Recreation, Ron Swanson is alpha and Ben Wyatt is beta. The difference is that beta males are subordinate while alpha males are dominant. Though, both are gender stereotypes based on generalized behaviors. 

Societal Expectations and Overcoming Stereotypes

Where does the concept of beta males and alpha males come from? Well, according to Dr. Romanoff, societal expectations of heteronormative relationships are to blame—there’s this idea that men are the leaders and women are the followers in relationships. However, this is rarely how most relationships operate. 

People in healthy relationships typically assume both roles, depending on the situation, individual preferences, strengths, and weaknesses. For example, one partner is best at detail-oriented tasks like planning vacations, whereas the other excels at time management and keeping schedules on track.

Societal expectations usually relate to the optics of the couple and how they present externally to the world. They don’t reflect the private interactions that occur within the relationship. People are not always alpha or beta all the time. Behaviors depend on the situation. 

Unfortunately, the expectation that men must always be leaders and in control causes them to sublimate many of their needs and suppress their emotions. Research shows that continuous emotional suppression has detrimental health effects such as an increase in cancer mortality and cardiovascular disease.

Health aside, feeling pressure to be an alpha male all the time prevents men from authentically connecting with their partners and experiencing intimacy which requires vulnerability. People who identify as beta males may feel shame and guilt for not living up to these arbitrary, rigid, and limiting stereotypes of strength and dominance.

Ultimately, these societal pressures benefit no one—not the beta and alpha males or their partners. It’s okay to be both—an alpha male and a beta male—when the situation or relationship calls for it.

Tips for Dating a Beta Male

If you’re seeking a partner who’s not afraid of commitment, confident in themselves, and open to being a supportive passenger in the relationship, a beta male sounds like the perfect match. But with any relationship, there’s going to be issues.

Maybe, your beta male partner isn’t meeting your needs and wants or communication has come to a head. Whatever the case, before you throw in the towel, try applying these dating strategies to your relationship and beta male partner.

Dealing With Criticism

Dr. Romanoff notes a relationship only needs to make sense to the two people in it. Everyone projecting criticism is speaking through the bias of their life experiences and prejudice. Instead of focusing on them, consider why their criticism is resonating with you and why you need the approval of others. 

“Usually, we seek from others what we cannot give to ourselves,” she says. “Consider why it might be important to attach your worth to the image of a strong and powerful man. Perhaps you are outsourcing your perceived lack of power or value to the man you believe you need to attach yourself to.”

Communication Strategies

It’s important to practice active listening, have open and honest communication, and avoid dominating the conversation when you’re talking with a beta male. Give them your full attention and reflect their thoughts and feelings. Use “I” statements when talking about your needs and approach conflict with a calm, curious, collaborative, and mutually respectful attitude.

Balancing Power

A balanced relationship needs to have trust, respect, and equality. Involve your partner in decisions and show that you value their opinions. Bring up their strengths and talk about their past successes to build confidence. Help them grow by respecting their personal space and encouraging them to take the lead in areas where they feel comfortable. 

Emotional Support 

When your partner is going through a tough time, be empathetic and offer comfort by using positive reinforcement. Beta males are sensitive to non-verbal communication. Be mindful of your positive body language and tone of voice. Use a reassuring touch to show affection and support. This can help strengthen the emotional bond between you two.

Keep in Mind

Sometimes, a relationship ends because of incompatibility. If nothing seems to help improve the relationship, Cruz recommends analyzing whether the relationship is worth saving. If both parties are willing to work to improve the relationship, consider couples therapy. Licensed professionals are much more adept at navigating relationship conflict and getting partners back on track.

“[Determine whether] the beta male’s traits are manageable or not,” Cruz says. “Some males are aware of their traits and [open] to work on them. Meanwhile, others are unwilling to change because it is not a problem for them. Every relationship is different and needs to be analyzed by all parties to determine a solution.”