Posts in category: Dating Tips, Guide and Advice

Your three-year anniversary is approaching, and you couldn’t have asked for a better partner. They’re sweet, loyal, reliable, and communicative. Sure, there are arguments here and there—different life goals, unlikeable in-laws, competing religious and political beliefs, etc.—but that’s normal. Relationships ebb and flow. Plus, if you and your S.O. survived the dreaded two-year mark (i.e. the most common time period when couples break up), then you’re destined to be together forever…right? 

Unfortunately, the two-year mark isn’t the only relationship test to pass, nor do you get to relax before the seven-year itch. There’s also the three-year relationship problem AKA the “three-year itch.”

A relationship goes through many ups and downs, including the three-year mark. After three years together, the “honeymoon phase” has worn off and now life is lifeing. Suddenly, you’re arguing over everything from politics to parenting styles and the two of you just can’t get on the same page. The relationship might seem over, but you can get over this hump with open communication, quality time, and conflict resolution.

What Is the 3-Year Relationship Problem? 

“Three years in a relationship is considered a milestone because it offers a greater sense of safety and comfort,” says clinical psychologist Dr. Patrice N. Douglas. “By this time, the initial excitement has typically faded, fostering more genuine interactions and a stronger sense of stability.” 

The honeymoon phase has ended and real life has settled in. Some couples grow stronger and more stable while others stagnate because of a decline in passion or life challenges.

Why Is This a Significant Relationship Moment?

Three years is a key milestone for couples because the initial passion and intense desires that once brought them together have settled into comfortable and stable love. It’s also the time when partners start thinking about the future.

Tess Brigham, a marriage and family therapist, says that the two-to-three-year mark is when couples struggle over lifestyle issues, like how their partner deals with money or if they want children.

“The thing about relationships is that you can be totally connected to someone,” she says. “You’re attracted to each other and there’s a real spark there. But if you don’t also have the same values and desire the same things at the exact same time, the relationship is never going to work.”

Having intimacy and connection with your partner is important. But a relationship cannot survive on love alone. Both partners must agree on lifestyle choices (at the same time too!) for the relationship to work.

Common Challenges in 3-Year Relationships

While lifestyle choices like marriage and finances have an impact, other areas like in-laws and communication can also trigger the three-year relationship problem. Some common challenges include:

Impact of the 3-Year Relationship Problem

So, what does the three-year itch do to a relationship? Well, it highlights the cracks between you and your partner—old conflicts that never got addressed, differing perspectives, uncertainty about the future, failed communication, etc. Some couples bounce back by investing in the relationship—upping their communication, spending more time together, or seeing a therapist. Others realize they’re better off apart than together.

The three-year relationship problem really shows you (and your partner) whether the two of you are compatible for a long-term commitment, be either marriage or a domestic partnership.

Emotional and Psychological Effects on Individuals

We know that a strong, committed, and stable relationship positively impacts your sense of purpose, which benefits your well-being and emotional health. However, a relationship can transition from healthy and secure to toxic if you and your partner have fundamentally incompatible lifestyles. Even though you both love one another, communicating will eventually become difficult, and soon resentment will brew.

Naturally, you can try compromising. However, studies indicate that partners who’ve compromised their core beliefs report having negative outcomes on their sense of self.

Potential Consequences for the Relationship

If the three-year relationship problem isn’t addressed, the relationship will suffer. That can look like underlying resentments and grudges, which prompts more unsolvable conflicts and even stonewalling (aka where you or your partner shuts down and gives each other the “silent treatment”.)

You might also start seeing conflict avoidance. Your partner might believe not talking about the problem will prevent arguments or fights. Intimacy and connection can also wane as you struggle to spend time together without previous grudges or resentment coming up.

Remember, relationships require work, no matter the stage. But for couples entering or nearing the three-year mark, it’s essential to get on the same page. That means asking yourself and your partner “deep questions.” For example, Brigham recommends thinking critically about the relationship: “What does our relationship mean to you?” or “How can I love you better?”

These questions can be uncomfortable. Creating a safe and nurturing environment for you and your partner is key to having an open dialogue.

Strategies for Overcoming the 3-Year Relationship Problem

How does one get their relationship back on track? Well, there’s no set path to rebuilding a relationship—remember, every relationship is different, but communication is a great starting point.

Communication

“Communication is crucial for navigating challenges at the three-year mark in a relationship,” Dr. Douglas says. “Couples should be open and honest about their feelings and needs.”

Nyah Jordan, 24, and her partner, Noah, 24, encountered the three-year relationship rule but survived by upping their communication and being intentional. “We had to communicate way more and do periodic check-ins just for our relationship in general,” she says. “It sounds business-like almost, but we’d sit each other down, and ask ‘What have I been doing that you’ve loved recently? What could I be doing better? Is there anything you don’t like that I do?’”

Periodic check-ins can improve your relationship but are also a great way to determine if you want to be in a relationship. Dr. Douglas advises “individuals to reflect on whether they’ve been compromising their beliefs or desires just to avoid being single.”

Invest in Quality Time

No one is the same person at the start of any relationship. So, it’s important to invest in quality time, as you grow individually into different people and discover new interests, values, and hobbies, says Dr. Douglas.

Jordan says she and her partner had to be intentional to find quality time together, as the two were long-distance. “We had to make time for ourselves from virtual date nights to deciding not to spend the weekend with friends and just enjoy time with one another,” she says. “Now, we’ve created some good habits of texting throughout the day, even if it’s a simple ‘How are you?’ or calling each other while making dinner.”

More quality time can also help the relationship gain the intimacy and closeness it may have lost during the honeymoon stage, says Brigham. It can be hard for some partners to feel seen and loved after the “newness” of the relationship has waned.

“If we don’t want to rip off each other’s clothes, what does this look like long into the future?” she says. “How do we continue to be loving and kind to the other person? Once those initial feelings wear off, it’s easy to forget that a person might need more attention.”

Address Conflicts

Unresolved conflict breeds resentment, which can destroy a relationship. It’s best to address conflicts as they come instead of letting them go unresolved. Dr. Douglas says to focus on understanding each person and their points instead of arguing. Use “I” statements to focus on your feelings and experiences instead of projecting or guilt-tripping your partner.

“Address conflicts as they come up, focusing on understanding each other rather than arguing,” says Dr. Douglas. “For ongoing or complex issues, consider seeking help from a therapist or counselor who can provide useful tools and strategies to help couples manage this stage more effectively.”

A tremendous amount of social and emotional development takes place during early childhood. As kids experience temper tantrums, mood swings, and an expanding social world, they must learn more about their emotions and those of others. Nurturing and responsive care fosters healthy social and emotional development in early childhood.

Social-emotional development in early childhood refers to the gradual changes that kids go through as they develop the ability to understand, express, and manage their emotions and social relationships.

Importance of Social-Emotional Development in Early Childhood

Positive social and emotional development in early childhood helps set the stage for a life of healthy, meaningful relationships. Some of the benefits of social-emotional development include:

It provides kids with a foundation of emotional understanding that can help them forge stronger emotional intelligence, positive coping skills, and effective interactions that support success in many different areas of life.

Social-Emotional Experiences of Early Childhood

Parents and caregivers play the most vital role in social and emotional development in early childhood. They are the primary source of care and learning for a child. However, other people, including extended family members, teachers, and other community members, may also contribute to a child’s understanding of emotions and social relationships.

Throughout the toddler years, temper tantrums are quite common. There’s a good reason why people often refer to this stage as the “terrible twos”!

Toddlers tend to have rapid mood swings. While their emotions can be very intense, these feelings also tend to be quite short-lived. You might be stunned at how your child can go from screaming hysterically about a toy at one moment to sitting in front of the television quietly watching a favorite show just moments later.

Children at this age can be very possessive and have difficulty sharing. Learning to get along with other children is an essential skill, however. In just a few short years, your child will go from spending most of their time with family and close friends to spending a large chunk of the day interacting, learning, and playing with other kids at school.

Help Kids Develop Social and Emotional Skills

So how can you help your child learn how to play well with others? Social competence not only involves the ability to cooperate with peers; it also includes such things as the ability to show empathy, express feelings, and share generously.

Fortunately, there are plenty of things that you can do to help your kids develop these all-important social and emotional skills.

Model Appropriate Behaviors

Observation plays a vital role in how young children learn new things. If your child sees you sharing, expressing gratitude, being helpful, and sharing feelings, your child will have a good solid understanding of how to interact with other people outside the home.

You can model these responses in your own household with both your child and other members of the family. Every time you say “please” or “thank you,” you are demonstrating how you would like your children to behave.

Reinforce Good Behavior

Most importantly, be sure to offer praise when your children demonstrate good social behaviors. Helping your children feel good about themselves also plays an important role in developing a sense of empathy and emotional competence. By creating a positive climate where children are allowed to share their feelings, children will naturally begin to become more generous and thoughtful.

Teach Empathy

Parents can also boost empathy and build emotional intelligence by encouraging their children to think about how other people feel. Start by inquiring about your child’s own feelings, asking about events in your child’s life. “How did you feel when you lost your toy?” “How did that story make you feel?”

Once children become skilled at expressing their own emotional reactions, begin asking questions about how other people may feel. “How do you think Nadia felt when you took away the toy she was playing with?”

Teach Cooperation

Cooperation is one skill that benefits tremendously from direct experience. Giving your child the opportunity to interact and play with other kids is one of the best ways to teach them how to relate to others.

While your toddler may find playing with peers frustrating at times, since kids often lack patience and the ability to share, things will gradually begin to improve with age and experience. As children play and interact, they also begin to develop social problem-solving skills.

Getting Help With Social-Emotional Development

If your child seems to be struggling with social or emotional issues during childhood, discussing your concerns with your child’s pediatrician is important. Failing to reach certain social or emotional milestones might indicate a developmental issue requiring further evaluation and intervention.

Challenges that may affect a child’s social-emotional skills include anxiety, attachment problems, trauma, autism, and attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Identifying these early on can help caregivers and medical professionals provide the support and intervention kids need to thrive.

Extrinsic motivation is a catalyst for action that is driven by external rewards. These can be tangible, such as money or grades, or intangible, such as praise or fame. Unlike intrinsic motivation, which arises from within the individual, extrinsic motivation focuses purely on outside rewards.

People who are extrinsically motivated will continue to perform a task even though it might not be in and of itself rewarding. For example, they will do something at their job that they don’t find enjoyable in order to earn a wage.

Extrinsic motivation can be understood through the lens of operant conditioning, which is when someone or something is conditioned to behave a certain way due to a reward or consequence.

Examples of Extrinsic Motivation

Think about your motivation for reading this article. Are you trying to learn the material so that you can do well in your psychology class? If so, this is extrinsic motivation because a good grade is an external reinforcement.

If, on the other hand, you are interested in learning more about human behavior, then you are intrinsically motivated. Your curiosity and desire to learn are the driving forces of your motivation.

Here are some other examples of extrinsic motivation:

• Competing for a trophy or prize, such as in a sporting event
• Doing schoolwork to earn a good grade
• Working hard at a task or project to receive praise and recognition
• Shopping with a store loyalty card to gain points, discounts, and prizes
• Doing homework to earn a reward such as a special treat or toy
• Performing tasks at work that you dislike in order to keep getting a steady paycheck
• Using a particular credit card to receive airline miles

Impact of Extrinsic Motivation

This type of motivation can be highly effective. Just think of all the examples in your life of things you do to gain some kind of external reward.

Extrinsic motivation is not a bad thing. External rewards can be a useful and effective tool for helping children learn new skills (or be on their best behavior) and for keeping people motivated and on task. This can be particularly important when people need to complete something that they find difficult or uninteresting, such as a boring homework assignment or a tedious work-related project.

How to Use Extrinsic Motivation

It’s important to look at the specific situation to determine if extrinsic rewards might help motivate behavior. Below are some example scenarios when extrinsic rewards may be most effective:

• When people have little interest in the activity
• When people lack the skills to get started
• When a short-term motivator for a specific purpose is needed
• When people are working on a long-term project and need small incentives to keep them going

In these situations, the rewards should be kept small and tied directly to performing a specific behavior.

In the Workplace, Parenting, and Education

Extrinsic motivation can play a role across many areas of life. For example, your boss might hold an ad design competition in which the winner earns a prize. Parents might offer their children special treats or outings to complete all their chores for the week. In education, the Dean’s List recognizes students who attain high grades.

In all of these situations, some external factor serves as a force that drives positive behavior. With careful application, extrinsic motivation can result in intrinsic motivation—in which a person performs a task well simply because they enjoy it, find it fulfilling, or feel a sense of pride.

Potential Pitfalls of Extrinsic Motivation

While offering rewards can increase motivation in some cases, researchers have also found that this is not always the case. In fact, offering excessive rewards can actually lead to a decrease in motivation.

The tendency of extrinsic motivation to interfere with intrinsic motivation is known as the overjustification effect. For example, if someone is already intrinsically motivated to read books, and then you provide an external reward for reading, you might notice a decrease in the joy they once experienced in grabbing a good book on their own accord after the action has been extrinsically rewarded.

Why would rewarding an already intrinsically rewarding behavior lead to this sudden disinterest? One reason is that people tend to analyze their own motivations for engaging in an activity. Once they have been externally rewarded for performing an action, they assign too much importance to the role of the reinforcement in their behavior.

Another possible reason is that activities that initially feel like play or fun can be transformed into work or obligations when tied to an external reward. Extrinsic rewards can be an important tool in motivating behavior, but experts warn that they should be used with caution, especially with children.

However, more research is needed on this topic to determine exactly how and when external rewards may undermine intrinsic motivation.

Making Extrinsic Motivation Work for You

Extrinsic motivation can exert a powerful influence on human behavior, but it has its limits. You might find it helpful to consider whether you are intrinsically or extrinsically motivated in certain situations.

Are you looking forward to your workout because you have a bet with a friend about who can lose the most weight? Then, you are extrinsically motivated. If you are eager to work out because you find exercise fun and satisfying, then you are intrinsically motivated.

Extrinsic motivation has pros and cons. Whether external rewards will be beneficial in the long run depends on the person and situation.

Social skills training (SST) is a type of behavioral therapy used to improve social skills in people with mental disorders or developmental disabilities. SST may be used by teachers, therapists, or other professionals to help those with anxiety disorders, mood disorders, personality disorders, and other diagnoses. 

It is delivered either individually or in a group format, usually once or twice a week, and is often used as one component of a combined treatment program.

Social Skills Training and SAD

Social anxiety can have an impact on social skills in a variety of ways. People with social anxiety disorder (SAD) are less likely to engage in social interactions, giving them less opportunity to build skills and gain confidence.

The Anxiety and Depression Association of American notes that people with social anxiety disorder don’t necessarily lack social skills. Instead, they tend to get so overwhelmed with their anxiety that they have problems utilizing their skills. 

SAD can also directly impact social behavior regardless of skill level. For example, you may know that eye contact is important but feel unable to maintain it during a conversation because of fear.

SST has been shown to be effective in improving social skills for those with SAD regardless of the social issue. If there is a skills deficit, you can learn how to better manage social interactions.

If social anxiety is masking your social ability, practice and exposure during SST can help improve your confidence and self-esteem and reduce your anxiety about social situations. For those with social anxiety disorder, SST is often used in combination with other treatments such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or medication.

Social Skills Training Techniques

SST generally begins with an assessment of your specific skill deficits and impairments. Your therapist may ask you which social interactions you find the most challenging or which skills you feel could be improved. The goal of this process is to identify the best targets for social skills training for your particular situation.

A therapist may describe a particular skill, explain how to carry it out, and model the behavior. Complex behaviors like how to carry on a conversation may be broken down into smaller pieces such as introducing yourself, making small talk, and leaving a conversation. Therapists will also discuss both verbal and nonverbal behaviors.

Research and Evidence 

Research on the use of SST in treating SAD shows that it is effective whether executed alone or with another form of treatment. SST has also been shown to increase the results of group CBT for SAD. 

In general, SST is most effective when used as part of a comprehensive treatment program involving multiple components. Therefore, if you have severe social anxiety, social skills training may be helpful for you—both for your social skills and anxiety about social situations.

Areas of Development

Social skills are the building blocks of social interaction. If you have SAD, you may have missed out on developing some of these important skills. However, you can always learn them no matter your age. 

Being Assertive

Assertiveness helps you relate to others in a way that balances the needs of everyone. If you have a tendency to defer to others, it can feel uncomfortable when you first start asserting yourself. However, in the long run, assertiveness will help to reduce anxiety and make both you and the people around you more comfortable.

Communicating Non-Verbally

Nonverbal communication, also known as body language, plays a large role in communication. People with social anxiety disorder tend to have “closed” body language that signals to others that you are unapproachable or unfriendly. While this is a natural result of anxiety, it is possible to work on having more open and friendly nonverbal behaviors.

Communicating Verbally

Verbal communication is another skill. The art of conversation may seem like a puzzle if you have social anxiety disorder. You probably have trouble knowing what to say or feel uncomfortable talking about yourself. But, conversations are foundational to building relationships and knowing how to better navigate them will help you get acquainted with those around you.

Making Introductions

Introductions are a way of making people feel comfortable. Whether you are called upon to make introductions or you are being introduced, it is important to know the rules of these social encounters. Knowing how to confidently make introductions is a very useful social skill.

Practicing Active Listening

Active listening involves paying attention, asking questions, and reflecting on what someone says. When you practice active listening, the other person in the conversation feels heard. If you are coping with SAD, practicing active listening may actually help you focus more on others and less on yourself. 

Overcoming Telephone Phobia

While the telephone is part of communication, it has its own peculiarities that can make it difficult for those with a social anxiety disorder. You might be afraid to answer the phone, make calls, or even record a voice greeting.

If you have a phobia of using the phone, there are a number of tips and tricks that you can use to overcome your fear. In addition, you can practice exposure therapy on your own to gradually desensitize yourself to using the phone.

Accepting and Giving Compliments

If you live with SAD, you probably have trouble gracefully accepting compliments and may not give compliments easily. Learning these two social skills is important. Compliments are a way of initiating and deepening relationships. They are also great conversation starters and a good way to show appreciation for others.

Problems With Social Skills Training

While it was once believed that people with autism and other forms of neurodivergence needed to learn social skills, this view is outdated. This approach is not neurodiversity-affirming and tries to impose neurotypical standards on people who are not neurotypical. 

People with autism approach social interactions differently because of how their brains process information, not because they lack social skills. Their interpersonal style may differ from that of a neurotypical person, but that does not mean that it needs to be changed.

Alternatives to social skills training include:

• Educating people about autism and other forms of neurodiversity
• Listening to the lived experiences of neurodivergent people
• Connecting neurodivergent people to supportive communities
• Supporting other forms of communication and providing alternatives 

While social skills training may be helpful for people who struggle with problems like social anxiety or awkwardness caused by a lack of social experience, it is essential to recognize that it is not suitable for everyone.

Social anxiety disorder can co-occur with forms of neurodivergence, such as autism and attention-deficit activity disorder (ADHD). The challenges of managing such conditions in a neurotypical society may contribute to feelings of social anxiety.

In the chaos of our daily lives, we’re constantly being pulled in a million different directions and stretched so thin, it feels like we might snap at any second. We often find ourselves craving some rest and relaxation, so that we can feel restored and rejuvenated. Enter: yoga nidra.

“Yoga nidra is a guided meditation rooted in ancient yogic traditions that follows a systematic relaxation process, putting us in a very relaxed state that is somewhere between being awake and asleep,” says Shelby Harris, PsyD, director of sleep health at Sleepopolis.

“It’s a practice for deep relaxation, healing, integration, and wholeness on all levels of being,” says Karla Helbert, an internationally certified yoga therapist (C-IAYT) and author of “Tips for Calming Body and Mind: Breathing Lessons.”

If you’re curious about yoga nidra, we’ve got you. In this article, we explore how yoga nidra works, the benefits it offers, and some tips to help you get started with it.

Tell Me More About Yoga Nidra

As old as yoga itself, yoga nidra is a meditative practice that was first recorded in ancient Hindu texts known as the Upanishads, which date as far back as 600 BCE.

If you’re worried it involves something complicated, you can relax (pun intended!). Unlike other forms of yoga, yoga nidra typically doesn’t require any complicated asanas, or poses. It simply involves lying down in a comfortable position as your guide takes you through the meditation.

“Yoga nidra consists of a deceptively simple set of practices for enhancing health, healing, resiliency, and well-being at all levels of body, mind, and spirit,” says Richard Miller, PhD, a clinical psychologist and author of “Yoga Nidra: The iRest Meditative Practice for Deep Relaxation and Healing.”

“There are different styles of yoga nidra, but all include a body scan and an awareness of breath,” says Helbert. She adds that many may also include imagery or visualizations of different kinds, such as nature, colors, or representations of the elements, like earth, air, water, or fire.

How Yoga Nidra Works

Helbert explains that in this state, the parasympathetic nervous system—the rest, relax, and digest side of our nervous system—is activated, and the sympathetic nervous system—the fight or flight mode—is able to deactivate.

The mind remains awake and aware, open and receptive to the messages of healing and creativity shared during the meditation, Helbert adds. She explains that this is powerful because the words, images, and suggestions of healing can sink deep into our consciousness and subconsciousness, resonating within.

In some ways, yoga nidra is similar to a hypnotic state, but it’s not quite the same thing. A 2022 study that examined participants’ brain waves during yoga nidra sessions found that some parts of the brain were asleep, while other parts of the brain were awake.

What Does Yoga Nidra Do?

Research shows us that yoga nidra offers several mental, physical, and emotional benefits:

• Improves mood
• Boosts confidence
• Increases resilience
• Reduces stress levels
• Boosts concentration
• Improves cognitive processing
• Increases alertness
• Boosts memory
• Enhances self-awareness
• Reduces anxiety
• Reduces depression
• Reduces PTSD
• Improves anger management
• Increases motivation
• Reduces insomnia
• Improves sleep quality 
• Reduces pain
• Relieves headaches
• Regulates heart rate
• Lowers blood pressure
• Improves blood sugar levels
• Corrects hormonal imbalances

Getting Started with Yoga Nidra

You can do yoga nidra at home, using a guided meditation recording. Or, you can do it in a yoga studio, with a teacher who will guide you through the steps.

Either way, these tips can help you get started with it:

• Wear something comfortable: The aim of yoga nidra is to help you get as relaxed as possible. Wear something loose that you’re comfortable in. Avoid tight or restrictive clothing.
• Find a quiet spot: Choose a warm, quiet, and comfortable spot where you won’t be disturbed.
• Minimize disruptions: Power down your devices, leave them in another room, or silence your notifications, so they don’t disturb you.
• Keep your props handy: Keep a cushion, bolster, or blanket on hand, in case you need them to get comfortable.
• Create a peaceful environment: If you’re doing it at home, you can set the mood by lighting an aromatherapy candle, dimming the lights, and playing soft, serene music to create a peaceful environment.
• Use the bathroom: It can be helpful to use the bathroom before you get started, so you can enjoy an uninterrupted session without needing to take breaks.
• Pick a meditation program: There are several yoga nidra meditation programs to choose from, ranging from five minutes to 60 minutes. You can choose one of them, join a class, or follow the step-by-step guide below.

Step-by-Step Guide to Yoga Nidra Practice

If you’d like to give yoga nidra a try, here’s a step-by-step guide to doing it on your own: 

• Lie down comfortably: Lie down on your back in savasana (corpse pose), with your legs slightly apart and your arms by your sides. Adjust yourself until you’re comfortable. Use the props for support, if needed. Settle into your body until you feel grounded, says Helbert.
• Focus on your breath: Close your eyes and focus your attention on your breathing. Take a few deep breaths, inhaling and exhaling slowly, as you feel your body start to relax.
• Set an intention: If you like, you can set a sankalpa (positive intention or affirmation) for your session. A sankalpa is ideally a short statement that is in present tense and in positive language—stating what you want, not what you don’t want, says Helbert. She explains that an example might be, “I am calm and at peace,” or “I am well in mind and body,” or “I flow through life with ease and grace.” You can choose anything that appeals to you.
• Scan your body: Bring your attention to the tips of your toes. Breathe into them and relax them. Slowly, move your focus upward, working your way up your feet, ankles, calves, knees, thighs, hips, stomach, chest, shoulders, arms, neck, face, mouth, eyes, and head, stopping at each point to take a few breaths and relax that part of the body completely.
• Visualize something soothing: In your mind, picture something that makes you feel happy, calm, and peaceful. It could be a serene lake, a flowing stream, a bright flower, or a beautiful sunset. Notice everything about it, like the colors and shapes you see, and the way it makes you feel.
• Observe any sensations: Notice any sensations, feelings, or thoughts that you experience. Observe them without attachment or judgment.
• Maintain conscious awareness: Relax and maintain conscious awareness during the session. Try not to fall asleep—although if you’re tired and nod off, that’s OK too!
• Repeat the sankalpa: If you set an intention at the beginning of the practice, repeat it in your mind now, as you bring the session to an end.
• Return to the present: Slowly, bring your awareness back to your surroundings. Gradually reintroduce movement to your body by moving your fingers or wiggling your toes. When you’re ready, open your eyes slowly. Sit up by turning to your right side and using the support of your right arm to get up.
• Acclimate yourself: Yoga nidra can create a non-ordinary state of consciousness, so it can be helpful to stretch, move your body, drink some water, or eat a snack before you return to everyday activities, says Helbert.
• Tap out if you’re uncomfortable: If you are uncomfortable at any point during the process, Helbert says to tune out the meditation, return to your breath, shift your position, or even sit up and take a sip of water. “Remember that you’re in control of your own experiences, so you don’t have to follow the meditation if it’s making you uncomfortable.”

Modifications and Variations of Yoga Nidra

These are some ways to adapt your yoga nidra practice according to your needs.

Yoga Nidra for Specific Purposes

If you would like to use yoga nidra for a specific purpose, such as better sleep or stress-relief for example, here are some options:

• Choose a script that addresses your needs: Helbert recommends choosing a script that is written for the purpose you are seeking. The messages and imagery in the script can penetrate your conscious and unconscious brain during yoga nidra, making it a powerful medium of suggestion.
• Set your intention accordingly: Another way to address your needs is by including your purpose or desired effect in your intention setting and choose your sankalpa accordingly, says Helbert. For instance, you could say: “My sleep is deep and restorative,” or “I am at peace with myself and the world.”

Yoga Nidra for Different Populations

These are some tips that can help you adapt the yoga nidra practice for different needs:

• Children: Kids tend to have shorter attention spans, so shorter meditation sessions may work better for them. It can be helpful to incorporate playful and imaginative elements into the guided visualizations, using stories, animals, or nature themes to capture their interest.
• Seniors: Opt for a slower pace, giving yourself plenty of time to transition between different stages of the practice. Choose a seated or lying down position that’s comfortable and accommodates any physical limitations you have.
• Beginners: Choose simpler meditation programs that don’t have complex visualizations. Start with shorter sessions and gradually introduce more elements as you get more familiar with the practice.
• Pregnant people: Lie on your side and use pillows for support if you need them, particularly during the later stages of your pregnancy. Focus on gentle, mindful breathing, instead of longer, deeper breaths that may prove to be more challenging.
• Athletes: Focus on bodily repair, recovery, healing, and strength during the body scan and visualizations. Pay attention to any aches, pains, or soreness you experience, focusing your healing energy there.

Dr. Miller recommends working with a trained yoga nidra teacher who can adapt the practice to you, in order to empower you while respecting your age, culture, religious orientation, occupation, and mental and physical health.

An experienced teacher can change the language of the script or use particular kinds of imagery for different groups, Helbert says.

Different images, different points of focus, or different voices will all result in different experiences for each of us, so it can be helpful to explore what works best for you, Helbert adds.

Tips for a Successful Yoga Nidra Practice

We asked the experts for some tips to help us establish and maintain a successful yoga nidra practice. Here’s what they had to say:

• Give it a few tries: If you’ve tried yoga nidra and didn’t love it, it might be helpful to give it another shot. When we’re doing something new that we’re not used to, our minds and bodies can feel a bit uncomfortable with it, so it’s important to give it a few tries, says Helbert.
• Work your way up: The principal ingredients of growing and nourishing a routine of yoga nidra include patience, persistence, and perseverance, says Dr. Miller. He recommends learning by practicing often, with shorter sessions until you work your way up to longer ones. You can start by doing just five minutes per day.
• Be consistent: Consistency is key, so make it a point to practice yoga nidra regularly, Dr. Harris says. She recommends practicing at the same time every day, so it becomes a part of your daily routine.
• Let distractions pass: It’s normal to feel distracted, get bored, or have your mind wander sometimes. Helbert recommends simply noticing these feelings with as much compassion and as little judgment as possible. Let these feelings pass and gently work to bring your attention back to the session, says Dr. Harris.
• Make yourself comfortable: We know that staying still for a long time is not easy. “If you’re feeling restless or uncomfortable, try adjusting your position,” Dr. Harris says. It’s alright to give yourself permission to move gently as needed to be comfortable and remember that you don’t need to force anything on yourself, Helbert adds. 
• Reflect on your sessions: After you finish your session, take a few minutes to reflect on it and process your thoughts and feelings. If you like, you can write your insights in a journal, to help you absorb and integrate them, says Helbert.
• Find your community: It’s helpful to have a mentor/teacher as well as like-minded peers who also engage in the practice of yoga nidra to form a solid support system around you, says Dr. Miller. He explains that having a community can help you integrate the principles of yoga nidra into your daily life, relationships, work, and play activities.

Safety Considerations and Contraindications

While yoga nidra is generally considered safe for most individuals, there are certain safety conditions and contraindications to be aware of.

If you’re pregnant, have had recent surgery, or have chronic/serious health issues, Dr. Harris recommends proceeding with caution. “Listen to your body, and if something feels off, stop and check with your doctor.”

Other potential contraindications may be for those who may have had any mental health crises, traumatic experiences, or severe mental health conditions such as schizophrenia, says Helbert. “Yoga nidra creates a non-ordinary state of consciousness and in that state, you may feel a lack of sense of self which can feel unsettling or even scary.” Sometimes, the practice can also bring up deep fears, difficult memories, or frightening visualizations, she adds.