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5 Ways Parents Can Ease Into Back-to-School Season Stress Free
As the slower and relaxed pace of summer vacation comes to an end, parents and their kids are getting ready to go back to school. Shifts in new routines and schedules can disrupt family dynamics and patterns that were established during the summer months. From financial and academic concerns to separation anxiety, this transition can be a significant source of stress for parents and kids.
Each family is unique and experiences individual stressors. For instance, one parent may not feel the same about changes in routine compared to another. This article explores how parents can manage the stress of their kids going back to school.
Prioritize Self-Care
During this transition, it’s important to have compassion for yourself, attend to your own needs, and prioritize self-care. When parents feel stressed, their children feel it too, which can negatively affect their behavior.
To deal with the stress of going back to school, you can first take a step back, notice how you’re feeling, and acknowledge that you need to engage in self-care practices.
There are many ways parents can prioritize their emotional and physical well-being. “This can include setting aside time for activities they enjoy, such as exercise, reading, or spending time with friends,” advises Kenzi Locks, creator of Growforth Family Building, licensed clinical social worker, health and wellness coach, and family building expert.
Parents can embed various relaxation techniques that can help reduce stress, like deep breathing exercises or meditation. These do not have to take a long time to do and can be integrated throughout your day. For instance, you can try chore meditation, mindful walking, or meditation during transitions.
Communication and Support
Managing multiple responsibilities, such as attending school-related events, packing lunches, and organizing drop-offs and pick-ups, can contribute to parental stress during this time.
Financial strain can put pressure on families. Parents may need to adjust their work hours, pay for extracurricular activities, after-school care, and purchase school supplies and/or uniforms, impacting their family’s financial situation.
Parents may experience anxiety about their child’s social interactions. For instance, they may worry about how their children are fitting in with their friends and peers. Bullying is more common in later elementary and middle school years.
“[Bullying] is often a bigger worry if the child themself, their older siblings, or even the parent has struggled with fitting in or bullies in the past,” adds Locks.
Regular communication is crucial in ensuring a family’s concerns are addressed, and the adjustment occurs smoothly. Establish an open dialogue, encourage honest conversations, and cultivate a safe environment to talk about the issues.
For example, you can schedule a weekly family check-in. This dedicated time allows parents and kids to have the opportunity to talk about what’s been going on, brainstorm ways to help each other, offer support or seek help from a professional.
It’s important that you know you are not alone in what you are going through. There are other parents going through a similar experience; sharing your issues together can help you feel validated and less alone with a sense of community. Talking to a professional counselor can also help you gain perspective and learn effective ways to cope.
Locks explains, “Seeking social support through talking to trusted friends, joining support groups, or seeking professional counseling can provide an outlet for parents to process their emotions and receive guidance.”
Seeking social support through talking to trusted friends, joining support groups, or seeking professional counseling can provide an outlet for parents to process their emotions and receive guidance.
Creating a Structured Routine
Establishing a consistent daily routine can benefit children and parents while adjusting to the school schedule.
“Time management techniques such as prioritizing tasks, delegating responsibilities, and establishing a structured routine can help parents feel more in control and reduce stress,” explains Locks.
Some tips can include:
- Simplify meal planning. Cook large batches of freezable soups, stews, and pasta dishes. These can be easy to reheat and serve on busy nights. Be flexible about what dinners and lunches look like. A grilled cheese sandwich, cut-up fruit and veggies, hummus and pitas can be quick, easy, and nutritious meals.
- Create a family calendar. Manage your time effectively by creating a family calendar. Share household responsibilities by assigning age-appropriate chores to everyone in the family.
- Optimize your evenings. Adopt a routine that sets the kids up for the morning. For instance, have them pick out their outfits before brushing their teeth. Put everything they need for school, such as library books, homework, permission slips, or show-and-tell items in their backpacks after dinner.
Managing Expectations and Pressure
Parents want the best for their children. They want them to grow up and become happy, healthy, and well-adjusted individuals. Some parents view academic performance as an indicator of future success. This belief can put pressure and create school-based anxiety for children, making them feel their self-worth is tied to their grades.
It’s common for parents to worry about their child’s grades and wonder if they need additional support. However, Locks advises parents to remember that the success of a child’s future isn’t solely determined by grades and test-taking ability but also encompasses personal growth, character development, and emotional well-being. Locks explains that the key to setting realistic and healthy expectations for children is to have a balanced approach.
Start with an open dialogue with your child and their teacher. This can help you better understand your child’s learning style, strengths, and opportunities. Then you can help your child set realistic and attainable goals tailored to their needs.
Locks emphasizes that every child’s abilities are unique. While some can naturally finish school work on time and ace tests easily, others may struggle. It’s important to avoid comparing children to their siblings or to other children in the family’s life.
“Encouraging a love for learning, emphasizing effort over outcome, and celebrating small achievements can help foster a healthy approach to academic expectations,” adds Locks.
Building Resilience and Coping Strategies
Transition periods can be overwhelming for parents; building resilience and adopting effective coping strategies can make a significant difference in navigating the challenges of the back-to-school period.
Practicing self-care can be an effective way to reduce stress and improve quality of life.
Locks shares that it’s helpful for parents to practice stress reduction techniques like deep breathing, mindfulness, or engaging in activities that promote relaxation. It’s been shown that parents who practice mindfulness in their parenting and in relationships can improve child outcomes, family health, and well-being.
Back-to-school stress can impact the dynamic between couples. The added anxiety can make partners feel on edge and resentful, blaming each other for problems instead of tackling them together as a team. “For couples, it’s paramount to have open communication about your changing needs during this transitional time,” advises Locks.
Encouraging a love for learning, emphasizing effort over outcome, and celebrating small achievements can help foster a healthy approach to academic expectations.
Locks shares that having compassion for yourself and your child, practicing gratitude, embracing flexibility, and reframing negative thoughts with a positive outlook can help parents navigate the stressful back-to-school transition more effectively.
Ultimately, adjusting during the back-to-school period isn’t easy for any family. However, it is possible to deal with stress while supporting your children during this transition by adopting helpful coping mechanisms, using effective time management tools, establishing lines of open communication in the family, and prioritizing self-care practices.
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Dreams About Being Chased: Meaning, Interpretations, and Coping
We’ve all had those heart-pounding dreams where we’re being chased by something or someone and running as fast as we can, trying to escape them. We wake up in a cold sweat, only to realize that the dream isn’t real and we’re safe in our own beds.
Nevertheless, the experience can still feel scary and disturbing, leaving us to wonder whether these dreams are normal and what they could mean.
“It’s VERY common to dream of being chased. In fact, it’s one of the most commonly recurring dreams,” says Lauri Loewenberg, a certified dream analyst.
We tapped into the experts to share some possible interpretations of these dreams as well as some coping strategies that can help us resolve the issues they represent.
At a Glance
Dreams about being chased often reflect underlying fears, anxieties, traumas, emotions, or stressors we’re avoiding in real life. We can run from them, but we can’t hide, because our subconscious mind will chase us down and find ways to remind us. The more we avoid the issue, the more often the dream is likely to recur.
These dreams can be upsetting, particularly if they recur often, so it may be helpful to see a mental health professional who can help you explore the underlying issues that are causing them.
Possible Interpretations of Dreams About Being Chased
Sigmund Freud, an Austrian neurologist who founded psychoanalysis and is often referred to as the father of psychology, theorized that our dreams are a window into our subconscious. According to Freud, our dreams feature a mixture of our external stimuli and internal experiences.
Literally speaking, we might think that dreaming about being chased means someone is out to get us. However, these dreams don’t generally represent physical danger, Loewenberg explains.
Rather, they tend to be more metaphorical in their significance. “Dreaming about being chased can mean you’re in danger of making a current issue worse because you’re running away from something that needs your attention rather than facing it and dealing with it,” says Loewenberg.
Dreaming about being chased can mean you’re in danger of making a current issue worse because you’re running away from something that needs your attention rather than facing it and dealing with it.
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LAURI LOEWENBERG, CERTIFIED DREAM ANALYST
For instance, you could be avoiding an issue that hasn’t been resolved or repressed emotions that you don’t want to face, says Elizabeth Hughes, LPCC, a therapist at ADHDAdvisor.
These are some of the potential interpretations of dreams about being chased:
- Difficult situations: If you’re running from someone or something in your dream, it might symbolize that you’re avoiding a problem or situation in your waking life. This could be an issue you find too overwhelming or stressful to face directly.
- Fear of conflict: Being chased might reflect a fear of conflict or confrontation. The pursuer in your dream could represent a person, responsibility, or emotion that is upsetting you, which you’re reluctant to confront, says Loewenberg.
- Unresolved emotions: Sometimes, these dreams indicate unresolved emotions or traumas. You may try to distance yourself from a difficult past, says Loewenberg; however, if there are issues you haven’t fully dealt with, they may “chase” you down in your subconscious.
- Desire to escape: If you’re trying to escape something in your dream, it might suggest a desire to break free from something in your life, such as a relationship, job, or obligation that feels restrictive. You may not have admitted this desire to yourself in your waking life, so your subconscious may bring it to your attention in your dreams.
- Stressors: Loewenberg says the chase might represent pressures or stressors in your life, such as unpaid bills, looming deadlines, high expectations, or personal challenges that feel so overwhelming you would rather not think about them.
- Phobias: The dream could be a symbolic representation of something you’re scared of or feel threatened by, such as a phobia.
- Inner demons: The dream could signify that you’re running away from an aspect of yourself that you perceive as negative or harmful, such as a bad habit, negative thought, or destructive behavior. The dream could be highlighting a part of yourself you’re trying to escape from or change.
The most common reason we dream of being chased is because we avoid issues rather than confront them.
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LAURI LOEWENBERG, CERTIFIED DREAM ANALYST
The Meaning of Dreams About Being Chased by a “Bad Guy” or Something Scary
Dreams about being chased by a “bad guy” or something scary often carry specific meanings tied to your feelings, relationships, and current life situations. What or whom you are being chased by are big clues as to the meaning of the dream, says Loewenberg.
These are some possible scenarios and their interpretations, according to Loewenberg:
- Being chased by someone with a knife: This dream may mean you are avoiding the act of cutting someone out of your life.
- Being chased by someone with a gun: This can mean you’re dealing with a lot of pressure and feeling “under the gun,” so to speak. However, the gun can also refer to criticism and wounding words someone has shot at you.
- Being chased by a dog: Dogs often represent our loved ones in our dreams. If you’re being chased by a dog, there is likely a difficult issue within a relationship or friendship that you are avoiding.
- Being chased by a snake: This dream often symbolizes that there is a low-key toxic person in your life whom you are avoiding.
- Being chased by a shark/alligator: If you are being chased by a creature that is known for the size of its mouth and teeth, such as a shark or alligator, it can mean you are avoiding someone in your life who has a big mouth and biting remarks. It can also be a message from your subconscious that not dealing with this person will “eat away at you” if you don’t do something about it.
While dream interpretation can help you explore your feelings about various situations in your life, it’s important to remember that it’s subjective, and the meaning of your dream is unique to you. It can be helpful to pay attention to your emotions and circumstances during the dream to gain more insights.
Recurring Dreams of Being Chased
Recurring dreams of being chased often indicate an unresolved underlying issue.
This is such a commonly recurring dream for people because so many of us have the recurring behavior pattern of avoidance, says Loewenberg. “You will have the dream every time you exhibit the behavior of flight rather than fight.”
This is such a commonly recurring dream for people because so many of us have the recurring behavior pattern of avoidance. You will have the dream every time you exhibit the behavior of flight rather than fight.
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LAURI LOEWENBERG, CERTIFIED DREAM ANALYST
Here are some reasons why these dreams might keep coming back:
- Avoidance behavior: If you’re consistently avoiding a problem or situation—whether it’s a difficult conversation, a challenging task, or a big decision—the dream might persist as a reminder of the issue you’re trying to escape.
- Unresolved anxiety: If the root cause of your stress or anxiety hasn’t been addressed, the dream might continue to reappear as a way for your subconscious to bring it to your attention.
- Lack of progress: If you’re not making significant progress in addressing the underlying issue, the dream might recur as a sign that more needs to be done.
- Recurring issues: The dream could be symbolic of a recurring issue in your life—something that keeps happening in different forms, like a repeating pattern in relationships, work, or personal challenges. The dream’s recurrence mirrors the recurrence of the issue.
The emotions the dream activates can be telling of what the dream represents to you, says Hughes. To understand why you’re having the dream, it can be helpful to think about what happened in your dream and how you felt as a result.
Coping With Dreams About Being Chased
Dreams about being chased can be disturbing. They often stir up intense emotions, like fear and panic. Additionally, they may also trigger physical reactions such as rapid heart rate, sweating, shortness of breath, or leg movements. These reactions can cause you to wake up feeling tired, unrefreshed, irritable, anxious, and unable to concentrate.
We asked the experts to share some coping strategies that may be helpful:
- Remember that it’s just a dream: Comfort yourself by reminding yourself that it was a dream, not reality, says Hughes.
- Talk to a loved one: Talk to a partner, friend, or family member about the dream. They can help you process any distress the dream may have caused, says Hughes.
- Practice deep breathing: If you’re feeling anxious and unsettled, deep breathing can help. Hughes recommends a breathing exercise like box breathing to calm your nervous system.
- Reflect on the dream: When you are being chased you are essentially “running away,” so whenever you get this dream, Loewenberg suggests asking yourself, “What am I running away from right now in my life?”
- Write your thoughts in a journal: It can be helpful to maintain a journal of your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. This exercise can help you recognize patterns that trigger the dreams and work out any unresolved issues you’re dealing with.
When you are being chased you are essentially ‘running away,’ so whenever you get this dream, ask yourself, ‘What am I running away from right now in my life?’
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LAURI LOEWENBERG, CERTIFIED DREAM ANALYST
Seeking Professional Help for Disturbing Dreams
If the dreams recur frequently or cause significant distress, it may be a good idea to seek the help of a mental health professional. Here’s how you can go about it:
- Recognize that you need help: If your dreams are causing anxiety, disrupting your sleep, or affecting your daily life, it’s important to recognize that you might need professional help.
- Identify a specialist: Depending on the nature of your dreams, you may need to look for a therapist with expertise in sleep disorders, anxiety, phobias, or trauma. Your primary care physician, friends, or family members may be able to offer recommendations.
- Be open and honest: When you seek professional help, be open and honest about the content of your dreams, your emotions, and how they affect your life. The more information you provide, the better your therapist or specialist can assist you in finding the right approach to address your disturbing dreams.
- Participate in group therapy: Sometimes, sharing your experiences in a group setting can be therapeutic. Group therapy or support groups focused on dreams or the specific issues you’re facing can provide you with insights from others who have similar experiences and offer a supportive environment to discuss your dreams.
- Consider medication: In some cases, medication may be recommended to help manage anxiety, depression, trauma, nightmares, or other conditions that could be contributing to your disturbing dreams. A psychiatrist or your primary care doctor can discuss treatment options if required.
Takeaways
Dreams about being chased can be unsettling, but they offer valuable insights into our subconscious mind. Whether they reflect unresolved fears, stressors, or a desire to escape from something in our waking life, these dreams give us a chance to explore what’s really bothering us beneath the surface.
By paying attention to the details and emotions within these dreams, we can uncover hidden fears and anxieties. So, the next time you wake up with your heart racing, remember that your dreams might be trying to tell you something important—perhaps it’s time to stop running and face whatever is chasing you. It may not be easy, but you might feel better as a result.
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Can Sexual Meditation Help Your Relationship?
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Sex and meditation are not two things we tend to think of as a pairing. One is typically quiet, relaxing, peaceful, and still. The other is, well…sex.
But meditation is not just about sitting crossed legged on the floor and trying to empty your mind. Meditation is simply being mindful. That can happen during a formal meditation practice, while taking a walk, washing the dishes, as well as including “body-centered techniques”, such as focusing on sensory perceptions.
So what happens when you combine sensory-focused meditation and mindfulness with sex? Well, you get something called sexual meditation. “Sexual meditation is the practice of combining meditation techniques with sexual activity or intimate connection to deepen physical and emotional awareness,” says Sophie Cress, LMFT, licensed marriage and family therapist at SexualAlpha. “Its purpose is to enhance the sexual experience by fostering a state of mindfulness, where both partners are fully present and attuned to each other.” Research shows that combining mindfulness with sex can increase sexual health and satisfaction.
Ready to take a deep dive into meditation and sexuality, including how to practice more meditative sex, either alone or with a partner? We’ve got you covered.
Understanding Sexual Meditation
The concept of sexual meditation is fairly open-ended. It’s simply when you combine sex or sexuality with ideas of mindfulness and meditation. That can look different for different folks.
Shamyra Howard, LCSW, AASECT, certified sex therapist and sexologist at Lovehoney Group, defines sexual mediation like this: “Sexual meditation involves focusing on the present moment and being fully aware of sensations, emotions, and thoughts during sexual activity, whether solo or with a partner.”
Sexual meditation combines the practice of mindfulness and the concept of body awareness by focusing on breath and sensation without judgment. “It’s all about allowing yourself to exist and feel all the feels,” Howard says.
Sexual meditation is a conversation between the mind and body, and it’s a process of expressing gratitude for what your body can do and feel in the moment.
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SHAMYRA HOWARD, LCSW, AASECT
Brian Tierney, PhD, licensed psychologist at The Somatic Doctor, describes sexual meditation as a “presence practice,” or a type of body awareness discipline that enables a person to develop the capacity to perceive more and more pleasure. “The purpose is to take more delight in life, to experience the expansive pleasure of having a body-in-relationship,” he says.
“Sexual meditation can delightfully combine the benefits of a mindfulness practice—the training of the mind to remain present, usually by noticing how much it escapes to the past and future—with an expansion of body awareness so that every nook and cranny of the body can tingle with a maximum amount of pleasure from moment to moment,” Dr. Tierney adds.
Exploring the Connection Between Meditation and Sexuality
Meditation and sexuality are more connected than many of us realize, says Howard. That’s because sexuality is not just about sexual pleasure or gratification. “Sexuality includes emotional, psychological, and social dimensions,” she says. “It’s a fluid aspect of human identity that incorporates our sexual preferences, desires, behaviors, and expressions.” and is influenced by not only biology but psychological and social factors as well.
In other words, sex already has some aspects of mindfulness in it, because you can’t experience sexual pleasure without being attuned to your senses. What adding mindfulness does to the equation is that it can make sex all the more pleasurable. “The benefits of sexual meditation include enhanced arousal, desire, orgasm, and overall sexual well-being,” Howard describes.
Techniques for Sexual Meditation
Alright, let’s get down to business. How exactly can you integrate sexual meditation practices into your sex life?
First, it’s important to note that many people have complicated relationships with their bodies, which may be related to pain, past traumas, disability or body image concerns. For that reason, when practicing sexual meditation, it is important to move at a pace that feels comfortable to you. Second, sexual meditation and mindful body awareness is something you can do solo, or with a partner. It’s really up to you, and the techniques described below work in both instances. However you are doing it, Cress recommends starting by setting the mood. “To practice sexual meditation, one can begin by setting a calm, intentional environment free from distractions,” she advises.
Howard shared her top tips for getting started with your sexual meditation practice:
Breathe
Howard suggests breathing slowly with your eyes closed, in through your mouth and out through your nose. “Place one hand on your belly and the other on your genital area, and as you breathe in and out, think of what would feel good, no judgment,” she explains. “It’s okay if you get a genital response, and it’s OK if you don’t.” You’re just here to feel and explore.
If you are with a partner, you can breathe together this way. “Then, you and your partner can place a hand on each other’s genitals while breathing together,” Howard suggests. Again, keep it a no judgment zone, just letting each other feel whatever you feel.
Take it Slow
Mediative sex is usually by its nature, very slow—slow and intentional. This can be great for many people, but also has challenges. “This slow sensory experience can bring up different emotions and feelings,” Howard shares. “Some people laugh, some cry, some have the best orgasm they’ve ever had. Remember, this isn’t a time to judge yourself. This is a time to allow yourself to feel.”
Feel the Feels
Mindful sex is all about letting yourself lean into whatever sensation you are feeling, and just really feel them. Howard suggests paying attention to textures, temperature, and pressure.
Ask yourself questions like, “What does it feel like when you breathe in and out?” or “How does your or your partner’s genital area feel under or in your hand?”
Howard suggests slowly rubbing your hands over different body parts, placing your attention on skin texture and temperature. If you are with a partner, you can “use your mouth to tell your partner where to touch you,” Howard says. “Or use your hand to guide your partner to where you’d like them to touch you.”
Practice Delaying Orgasm
Howard recommends sinking into each moment during sex, feeling each sensation deliberately. “During partnered sex, go slow and continue to focus on sensations,” Howard says. “Pay attention to sounds, smells, and tastes to keep you grounded in the moment.”
Often, this slowness means not rushing to “get off” or orgasm. “Practice edging or delaying orgasm at least three times and focus on the sensations only,” she suggests. Sometimes you may not end up orgasming at all, but often you will, and you may find that these orgasms are super intense and pleasurable.
Benefits of Integrating Meditation and Sexuality
Sexual mediation has numerous benefits—just take it from Dr. Tierney, a huge proponent of sexual meditation, both personally, and for his clients. For him, sexual meditation is about taking sex slowly, so that you can focus on each sensory moment.
“The simple story for me is that when I finally learned how to engage in slow sex, to truly divest from chasing orgasms, it felt like I lost my virginity again (seriously),” he shares.
Dr. Tierney also shared some client stories, which illustrate some of the benefits of integrating mediation and sexuality:
- “One couple felt like they were starting their marriage over again after 26 years of being together.”
- “Another couple laughed so hard while they were practicing slow sex that they had to take a pause, not because they were reaching 8.88 on the orgasm scale, but because their ribs started cramping up.”
- “Another couple realized that they had been avoiding looking at each other during sex for decades and decided to make more eye contact: it completely transformed their love live and radically diminished their highly-entrenched conflicts which were basically a result of them not seeing eye-to-eye.”
The research on the benefits of meditative sex mostly focuses on women, with several studies finding that women who meditate experience increase sexual function. The experts we spoke to say that sexual meditation isn’t just beneficial for women, and it doesn’t just make you have better sex or orgasms.
According to Cress, the benefits of sexual meditation include:
- Enhanced emotional intimacy
- Improved sexual satisfaction
- Reduced performance anxiety
- Better communication between partners
- Helping people overcome sexual blocks or inhibition by promoting self-awareness and relaxation
- More meaningful and pleasurable sexual experiences
Addressing Common Questions and Concerns
While sexual meditation may sound awesome on paper, but that doesn’t mean people won’t experience doubts or concerns.
One concern people have is that sex should not be a discipline—because the idea of discipline runs counter to the idea of sex and letting go, says Dr. Tierney. But this is a misconception, according to Dr. Tierney, and the benefits of the practice outweigh any doubts about intentionality or scheduling.
“This is a hang-up that should be left behind if you want to meet your pleasure and bliss potential together,” he says. If your goal is mind-blowing, sensual sex, you should know that it often takes practice and discipline, Dr. Tierney says.
Another question people have about sexual meditation is: “Am I doing it right?” Howard says that any suggestions about sexual meditations are just that—suggestions. You get to decide what feels right for your body, and what meditative sex means to you. “Explore to find out what works best for you,” Howard recommends.
Finally, people often feel concern that sexual meditation will take out the mystery behind sex or make it less spontaneous or romantic. But Cress says you don’t need to worry about that. “With guidance and practice, individuals often find that sexual meditation enhances rather than detracts from the natural flow of intimacy, helping them to become more present and connected,” she assures.
Conclusion
If you are looking to have more sensational sex—sex where all of your senses are awakened and on fire—sexual meditation might be just what you need. Sexual meditation is just what it sounds like: it means practicing mindfulness, intentionality, and bodily/emotional awareness during sexual acts. It’s not for everyone, but people who practice it often experience increased pleasure, deeper connection, and more meaningful sex.
Please contact a licensed mental health professional or a sex educator if you would like more information about sexual meditation or if you have general questions about sex and sexuality.
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