Essential Oils for Stress Relief

by with No Comment Dating Tips, Guide and Advice


We live in stressful times, and everyone is feeling it for different reasons. There’s the pressure of work, finances, complex relationships, political upheaval, climate change, the list goes on and on.

But that doesn’t mean we can stop moving forward and living our lives—the key is figuring out which stress-relief strategies work for you. Movement, breathing exercises, sleep, and eating well are all great methods, but essential oils in the context of aromatherapy are a less often discussed option that can help too.

Read on to learn about their benefits, the top essential oils for stress relief, things to keep in mind and be cautious of, and how to get started.

What Are Essential Oils, Exactly?

Most people have heard of essential oils—Maybe strong wafts of patchouli in a blissed-out yoga studio come to mind—but you may be less familiar with how essential oils and aromatherapy can actually be beneficial from a therapeutic standpoint.

It’s possible you have already written off essential oils for stress relief due to their more “woo-woo” connotations. In truth, the power of essential oils can certainly be overstated, but that doesn’t mean they hold no benefit.

These oils are concentrated plant extracts, also known as volatile oils, derived from a plant’s leaves, bark, seeds etc. They are highly potent distillation of a plant’s active chemical constituents, thus increasing their therapeutic potential. While the science is inconclusive, these oils likely offer a variety of antifungal, antibacterial, and anti-inflammatory effects. They can also quell stress and anxiety.

Not all essential oils are the same, so we’ve broken down the top essential oils for stress relief.

Top Essential Oils for Stress Relief

Martha Kirby, a board-certified health and wellness coach based in Los Angeles, CA explains, “Embracing essential oils in your daily life can be a beautiful, holistic approach to alleviating stress.” She recommends finding a few oils you love the smell of and connect with and consider carrying them on the go. “Personally, I carry a blend of orange, frankincense, and cedarwood oil in my purse for on-the-go serenity,” she continued. 

Lavender Essential Oil

One of the most common essential oils, lavender is a crowd favorite. According to Kirby, it is commonly known to boost the mood and mitigate any lingering anxiety symptoms. Lexi Faith, wellness coach and expressive art therapist based in California, also touts the efficacy of lavender oil for stress relief. 

Bergamot Essential Oil

Bergamot is a fresh citrusy scent with deep herbal undertones. Beloved for its anti-inflammatory and antioxidant properties, it is often recommended for stress relief. In fact, a 2022 study found bergamot oil to be especially helpful in alleviating symptoms of depression among postpartum women.

Lemongrass Essential Oil

Notes of lemon and rose make lemongrass a dreamy scent for stress relief. A 2015 study found that just a few drops of lemongrass oil made an impressive drop in symptoms of anxiety.

Neroli Essential Oil

For something bright and uplifting, reach for Neroli. This oil smells like honey, citrus, and flowers, which is all to say it smells like a warm spring day. Not only is neroli effective for de-stressing – it can also relieve anxiety and sensations of pain during childbirth.

Orange Essential Oil

Something to keep in mind is that while many different essential oils can help with stress relief, they all have their own unique advantages. “For example, the orange essential oil is known to alleviate symptoms of depression,” shares Faith.

Ylang Ylang Essential Oil

A recent study found ylang ylang essential oil to be effective in decreasing symptoms of anxiety in mice. This study is revelatory, providing convincing evidence that this oil could reduce anxiety symptoms in humans.

Frankincense Essential Oil

This sweet, woodsy scent is a common staple for many. Kirby loves Frankincense, noting that it can help both when meditating but also for restorative sleep. 

How to Use Them Most Effectively

There are two main ways to use an essential oil: applying it to your skin so it can be absorbed (usually with a carrier oil), or inhaling it via diffuser or placing a bottle under your nose.

Inhalation

But, generally inhaling it is considered the most convenient method and you can feel the soothing effects after just 15 minutes. This can be as simple as keeping a small vial of your preferred essential oils in your purse, like Kirby, at your desk, or even in your car. Whenever you’re feeling overwhelmed, simply bring it close to your nose and take a deep breath.

You can also use essential oils with a diffuser. “Adding a few drops of essential oil to clean filtered water in a diffuser allows the fragrance to gently permeate your space, fostering a calming atmosphere,” explains Kirby. Don’t have a diffuser? You can also boil a pot of water and add some drops. The steam will release the fragrance into the room. 

Topical Use

Finally, you can opt to use essential oil topically, but you’ll want to keep a few important safety tips in mind. First, make sure you read the packaging to ensure it is an oil that can be used on your skin. Because these are highly concentrated substances, many plant chemicals can irritate or burn your skin.

Second, if a particular oil is in fact safe to use on your skin, you’ll probably need a carrier oil like jojoba or almond oil. Kirby recommends mixing the scent with the oil and applying it to pulse points, like your temples and wrists. 

Other Ways to Naturally Lower Your Stress

While there’s great evidence that essential oils can turn down stress, some may have scent sensitivities or just may not feel called to essential oils for stress relief. There are plenty of other ways you can decrease stress naturally. 

First up is mindfulness and meditation. “Dedicating time to meditate daily, while weaving mindfulness into each moment, can profoundly reduce stress and provide clarity on your journey through life,” shares Kirby. Faith shared similar sentiments, recommending meditations focused on a specific positive mantra of your choosing and breathwork. Kirby likes to pair breathwork with yoga, noting that gentle yoga movements with focused breathing can clear the mind while releasing tension in the body. 

One of the most important ways to decrease stress is through cultivating a supportive community. “Surrounding yourself with uplifting and trustworthy humans fosters joy, peace, and strong connections,” explains Kirby. This then only increases your sense of belonging, support, and well-being. 

While there is merit in using essential oils, meditation, breathwork, and a supportive community to decrease stress, sometimes we need a bit more. If that’s how you’re feeling, consider reaching out to a therapist for more support. We have plenty of resources on how to find a therapist, ways to afford therapy, and our favorite online therapy platforms. 




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Katharine Chan

Signs of Depression in Older Adults

by with No Comment Dating Tips, Guide and Advice

I was a teenager when I first experienced depression. It was hard to fall asleep and I did not want to wake up for school. Everything lacked meaning because I felt worthless. I did not want to see friends and when I did, it didn’t go beyond the pleasantries. Even doing the most basic activity like showering was painful. It was a challenging part of my life but it allowed me to develop a certain awareness of not only my own mental wellbeing but others’ as well.

Depression is a common mental health condition; the WHO estimates that 5% of adults experience depression; however, adults older than 60 years have a greater prevalence at 5.7%.

Here are some signs and symptoms to be mindful of as our older loved ones go through their golden years that might be evidence of depression.

Physical Signs

Although depression is a disorder of mood, there are many physical manifestations of the disorder. The first signs you may notice could be physical ones. Are they sleeping and eating properly? How is their body looking? Do they seem more tired than usual?

Liz Hughes, an LPCC in San Diego and owner of Mind Body Therapy PLLC shares that the following may be reflective of depression in older adults:

  • Unexpected weight changes (gain or loss)
  • Appetite changes (eating more or less than normal)
  • Abnormally low energy levels
  • Drastic sleep changes such as oversleeping or insomnia

Rebecca Bouchard, the Brand President of ComForCare with over 20 years of experience in home-based care, adds that someone with depression may complain of physical aches and pains without a clear medical cause as an expression of their depressed mood.

Cognitive Signs

Hughes explains that depression symptoms in older adults can sometimes present as cognitive issues. The new onset of diminished ability to think, concentrate or indecisiveness may be reflective of depression. Bouchard clarifies that the cognitive symptoms of depression may mimic the memory issues of dementia, and are sometimes referred to as “pseudodementia”, however they tend to improve when the depression is adequately treated.

It’s crucial to note that not everyone experiences depression in a similar way and the diagnosis can be more complicated with older adults.

Behavioral Signs

There can be behavioral manifestations of depression. Hughes suggests noticing how the person is taking care of themselves. For instance, does their living space look significantly more messy than usual? Are they struggling with hygiene like showering or brushing their teeth? These behavioral changes can sometime be signs of depression in older adults. In cases of depression, speech and movements can also be impacted. Are they speaking and moving much slower than normal?

Bouchard shares that irritability or unexplained restlessness may be evident. It could potentially be a sign of depression if they have trouble sitting still or are constantly fidgeting.

Emotional Signs

Hughes shares that a core emotional symptoms of depression is a loss of interest in activities that they used to enjoy. Socially isolating themselves and not engaging with their friends and family meaningfully may also indicate depression.

“[A sign to watch for is] a sense of sadness or hopelessness that is pervasive. Having a few bad days can be a common experience but to meet the criteria for a symptom of depression, a low or depressed mood must be present more days than not over a period of at least two weeks…so a few bad days wouldn’t mean the person has depression,” says Hughes.

Bouchard shares that feelings of worthlessness, guilt, or being a burden are common experiences in depression in older adults, and, in severe cases, thoughts of death or suicide may emerge.

“If these signs are observed, it’s important to encourage the individual to seek professional help, as depression is treatable at any age, and early intervention can significantly improve their quality of life,” advises Bouchard.

Common Causes of Depression Among Older Adults

There isn’t a single cause of depression. However, there are risk factors that can increase its likelihood. Genetics play a role; people who have family members with depression are more likely to experience it. Having a medical condition such as cancer can negatively impact mental well-being.

Lifestyle factors such as lack of physical activity, unbalanced diet, poor sleep and increased stress can play a role. Physical limitations increase with age and impair the ability to perform pleasurable activities. Lastly, aging adults generally spend less time with other people as work and parenting duties diminish. A lack of social connections can lead to feelings of loneliness and depression.

Differences With Younger Populations

Bouchard states that depression in older adults can look different than in younger people. For instance, depression in older adults may manifest more often with physical symptoms like pain, fatigue, and cognitive difficulties, which can be mistaken for aging or other health conditions.

In addition, it is important to recognize that older adults are more likely to be experiencing the loss of loved ones or declining health, which are risk factors for depression. There is evidence that the risk of suicide is increased in older men.

“Older adults may withdraw socially and be less likely to discuss their feelings due to the generational stigma around mental health…In contrast, younger people often express their emotional distress more directly and may be more open about mental health challenges,” says Bouchard.

Cultural Factors

People from different cultures express their thoughts and feelings related to depression differently. Some cultures believe it’s taboo to speak about mental health or emotional issues and associate it with losing face or shame. In this context, depression may be more likely to manifest or be expressed as physical symptoms such as pain or digestive issues.

How To Support an Older Adult With Depression

Hughes shares that the first step in supporting someone who is depressed is having a candid, non-judgmental conversation with the person you are worried about. In a supportive way, you can mention some of the above signs and ask if they’ve noticed these behaviors. More often than not people experiencing depression will have noticed but sometimes the onset of depression is gradual and harder to accept.

“Oftentimes we worry addressing the depression symptoms will make the person feel worse when sometimes it is actually helpful to the person who is struggling because they may feel seen and supported. Ask them how you can help during this time, maybe it’s making them a meal or an extra phone call a week,” advises Hughes.

Bouchard recommends family members support their loved one by connecting them with mental health professionals, being good listeners, and staying regularly connected. They can also encourage healthy lifestyle choices like exercise, good nutrition, and regular sleep, assisting them with daily tasks.

“It’s important to remain patient and understanding throughout the process, as recovery takes time. Family members should watch for worsening symptoms, including suicidal thoughts, and seek professional help when needed. Loving support and connection can greatly help the older adult in managing and overcoming depression,” says Bouchard.

Katharine Chan

By Katharine Chan, MSc, BSc, PMP

Katharine is the author of three books (How To Deal With Asian Parents, A Brutally Honest Dating Guide and A Straight Up Guide to a Happy and Healthy Marriage) and the creator of 60 Feelings To Feel: A Journal To Identify Your Emotions. She has over 15 years of experience working in British Columbia’s healthcare system.


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5 Tips for Making Grocery Shopping Less Stressful

by with No Comment Dating Tips, Guide and Advice


For Liora Seltzer, a professional organizer, parent coach, and founder of What U Keep, LLC, shopping with two kids in tow brought it on. For Ruth Camp, a mental health counselor, being crunched for time and fighting through large crowds caused it to surface. And for Nicole Bravo, a licensed marriage and family therapist, loud noises and too much activity on site made it rear its ugly head.

The mysterious “It” we’re talking about is stress while grocery shopping. And whether you’ve rushed into the store to grab some snacks for a study group or loaded up on a weekly shopping trip for the family, chances are, you’ve experienced it.

“Grocery stores are environments that tend to carry a lot of stimulation, with their bright lights, loud sounds, crowds of people, and busy parking lots. These types of environments can set off someone’s stress response and (or) make them more vulnerable to stress,” Bravo explains.

The store itself can be just the beginning. Decision fatigue, long lines, and of course, high prices can make a trip for food essentials intimidating and overwhelming. We’ll take a look at what makes grocery shopping so stressful, and more importantly, give you practical ways to lessen the stress of your trip up and down the aisles.

Why Grocery Shopping Is Stressful

Food delivery services like Amazon Fresh may be growing, but almost 3 out of 4 people still shop in a physical grocery store. While there’s a benefit to seeing the products in person, there’s no denying that braving the store can impact our emotional state.

“The stress of grocery shopping can cause mental fatigue, increase anxiety levels, and even lead to decision paralysis. In some cases, it can exacerbate feelings of frustration and helplessness, particularly if shopping is seen as a necessary but challenging task. Over time, repeated stressors can negatively impact mood and contribute to burnout or avoidance behaviors,” explains Camp.

Repeated stressors can include:

Too Many Options: A trip to the grocery store is all about making decisions. But too many choices can lead to decision fatigue, leave you drained, overwhelmed, and stressed. “When you go grocery shopping, you have to make hundreds of not thousands of decisions each time. You have to decide between brands, prices, flavors, remember what you’re making that week, would you already have at home, [and] what everyone who lives with you likes,” notes Seltzer.

Shock at high prices: None of us are strangers to inflation. But being in the store and realizing that you can’t buy a loaf of bread, a dozen eggs, and a case of bottled water for under $20 can be hard to swallow.

Being overwhelmed with crowds and long lines: “I felt very stressed the last time I went to a large, grocery superstore. I felt overstimulated by the size, noise, and crowds. Due to the size, I got lost looking for the items I needed, making this shopping experience much longer than I had the bandwidth for. I felt very overwhelmed at the end of the whole experience,” Bravo recalls. 

Fear of not getting needed items: Remember when you couldn’t find toilet paper in stock during the height of COVID? The stress of … well, not having toilet paper. That same stress can creep in when you can’t find other items on the shelves. Supplier issues and heavy demand can make you feel like you’re scurrying just to shop for basic needs.

The time crunch: You may have a short window before you have to get to class or pick up the kids. Trying to get it all done during that time can be nerve-wracking. “I will always remember a day when I was very stressed and going to the supermarket increased my stress. I had a planned schedule of how long I would spend at the supermarket, but in the end, it didn’t work out that way. The line was quite long and when it was my turn to pay, there was a problem at the cash register. I was upset and felt uncomfortable,” shares Aura De Los Santos, Clinical Psychologist at Therapybyaura.com.

Picking healthy items: Reading labels, comparing ingredients, and trying to find the healthiest food choices is a chore, and can add time, stress, and cost to your overall shopping experience.

Unfamiliar store layouts: Not knowing where to find certain items leaves you searching up and down the aisles. If you can’t find something, you have to hunt down a store employee to ask where you should go, which makes your shopping experience seem more stressful.

How to Eliminate Shopping Anxiety

Unless you want to eat out all the time, shopping is a must. Since you can’t get rid of the practice all together, consider implementing some tips that can help you have a calmer, smoother shopping experience.

Shop at Less Busy Times

Saturdays between 10am and 2pm are the most popular times to go to the grocery store. Late evenings after 8pm are less busy times to shop, with Tuesday evenings being the least crowded time. Consider changing your schedule to have less hustle and bustle when you’re shopping.

Plan Ahead

Planning ahead includes preparing for your shopping experience. That means anything from having a list complete with a budget, to deciding to shop when you know your store has restocked items and the shelves will be full. It can also mean donning noise-canceling headphones to keep the chatter and loud sounds from driving up your stress level.

Make Post-Shopping Food Prep Easier

“Oddly enough, people HATE cooking after they go grocery shopping because they use up so much energy! Buying prepared food at the grocery store, ordering food, or making sure you already know what you’re going to have for the next meal afterwards can be very helpful!” states Seltzer. Grabbing items from a store’s frozen section can equip you for those days you just don’t feel like cooking, and especially after shopping. Trader Joe’s offers many frozen healthy meal choices.   

Try Curbside Pickup

Another way to reduce stress is to “use curbside pickup or delivery services,” notes Camp. “Many stores now offer these services, allowing you to avoid the physical store entirely, which can save time and reduce stress.”

Ask for Help

A special or sale can still lead to confusing signage, or lack thereof. Ultimately, being willing to go to an employee and ask for help can cut down on your frustration and stress. Another way to ask for help is to ask a partner to help with the shopping, or if the kids are old enough, have them participate as well.

While thinking ahead and preparing yourself for the task at hand may not necessarily make grocery shopping something you enjoy, it can make it a less stressful experience for you.

“To manage the stress of grocery shopping, it’s helpful to plan ahead by creating a clear list, sticking to a budget, and timing the trip when stores are less crowded. Mindfulness techniques, such as taking deep breaths when feeling overwhelmed, can also help. Additionally, being patient with yourself and accepting that some things might not go as planned (like stock issues) can alleviate pressure,” Camp concludes.

Design Matters

You’ve shopped at a store for months and know the layout. Then they change the location of some items, add or remove displays, and suddenly you’re thrown in flux. Or you visit a store that’s not your usual and feel like nothing is where it’s supposed to be. The design of the grocery store impacts your entire experience.

“Not knowing the layout of a store means that you have to spend extra time and mental energy figuring out where items are located. This unfamiliarity can lead to frustration, especially when you’re in a rush or have a lot of items to purchase,” Camp explains. “[It can] create stress as it forces shoppers to spend more time searching and adds to the overall mental load.”

Nicole Bravo, LMFT

Grocery stores that are small to moderately sized can reduce stress for shoppers. You want stores with a simple layout to them, giving some variety in their products but not too much.

— Nicole Bravo, LMFT

While it’s impossible to know the layout of every store you’ll visit, some places make it easier than others to intuitively know where your favorite snacks or needed items are located.

“Some grocery stores, like Trader Joe’s, are well-designed to reduce stress with simple, consistent layouts and well-labeled aisles. Other stores that feature wide, uncluttered aisles and clear signage can also help,” Camp adds. 

Larger stores can be convenient for finding lots of items but can cause you to feel lost and not know where to start.

“Grocery stores that are small to moderately sized can reduce stress for shoppers. You want stores with a simple layout to them, giving some variety in their products but not too much. I personally enjoy shopping at Trader Joe’s or Whole Foods,” says Bravo.

Other grocery store design elements that can make your shopping experience less stressful include aisles that are spacious and make it feel less crowded, signage that is clear and easy to read, self-checkout options to cut down on long lines, and placing related items together in a clear and logical way.


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