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We’ve all been there: swamped with deadlines, overwhelmed with multiple tasks, and exhausted by never-ending assignments. Whether it’s a looming deadline, a major project, or the daily grind, staying productive when stressed feels like an uphill battle.

Taking care of yourself is key to managing work stress effectively, says Ashley Peña, LCSW, the executive director at the mental health care center, Mission Connection. “Having the right tools to focus on your well-being can directly support how you manage stress.“

But what does this self-care look like? We tagged some mental health experts and got their recommendations on the best stress-relief strategies that can help improve your work productivity.

How Stress Impacts Work (and Vice Versa)

Stress and work have a bidirectional relationship, where each can significantly impact the other. Stress is not inherently bad—it can sometimes motivate you to stay on track. But it can also be super damaging to your emotional and mental health. How? We explain below.

How Stress Impacts Work

Stress impacts our work depending on the level of stress we’re experiencing, says Jenna Nielsen, MSW, LCSW, a therapist at ADHDAdvisor. “A small amount of stress may make our work better or more valuable; whereas, high stress typically causes us to make mistakes, become overwhelmed, or feel incapable of the job,” she says.

Peña explains our body releases hormones like cortisol, norepinephrine, and adrenaline when we’re stressed and these hormones can affect our work by causing emotional fluctuations, irritability, and difficulty concentrating. “The higher the stress, the more these hormones are released, leading to more noticeable side effects,” she adds.

According to research, these are some of the ways that stress can affect our performance at work:

• Decreased productivity: Stress can impair our focus, concentration, and decision-making abilities, leading to lower productivity.
• Increased errors: When we’re stressed, we’re more prone to making mistakes and oversights, affecting the quality of our work.
• Poor communication: Stress can make us irritable and less empathetic, hindering collaboration and teamwork.
• Burnout: Chronic stress can lead to burnout, which is characterized by extreme exhaustion, reduced motivation, and an inability to function.
• Absenteeism: Physical and mental health issues caused by stress can lead to increased sick days.

How Work Causes Stress

Maybe it’s not procrastination or lounging around at work. You might have a high-stress job filled with demanding managers and overloading tasks. Or, your company is doing layoffs and you’re anxiously worried your name is next on the chopping block. In those cases, work can exacerbate your stress levels in different ways:

• Excessive workload: An excessive workload or unrealistic expectations can create significant stress.
• Poor work-life balance: All work and no time to relax can affect our mental and physical well-being, causing us to be chronically stressed out.
• Job insecurity: Fear of losing our jobs is a major stressor that can take a toll on our performance.
• Negative relationships: Conflict with our colleagues or managers can increase our stress levels.
• Workplace environment: A toxic or unsupportive work environment can heighten stress levels. Issues like poor management, office politics, layoffs, bullying, harassment, or a lack of collaboration can contribute to a stressful and unhealthy atmosphere.

How to Stay Productive

Who said you can’t be productive and stress-free? These strategies can help you get work done without feeling overwhelmed:

• Create a schedule: Plan your day with specific time blocks for each task. Include short breaks for rest and recharge.
• Prioritize: List your tasks in order of priority and focus on the most critical tasks first. You’ll feel less stressed when the more urgent stuff is out of the way.
• Break it down: Divide larger tasks into smaller, more manageable chunks to make your workload feel less overwhelming. Completing smaller tasks and progressing steadily toward your goal will help boost your confidence.
• Establish deadlines: Set realistic deadlines to avoid procrastination and stay on track.
• Manage your time: Use time-management techniques like the Pomodoro Technique to help you get things done efficiently.
• Avoid multitasking: Focus on one task at a time. Avoid multitasking as trying to do too many things at once can bump up your stress levels and reduce your efficiency.
• Declutter: Keeping your workspace neat, organized, and uncluttered can reduce distractions and improve your focus.
• Delegate tasks: Don’t be afraid to delegate tasks to colleagues or team members when possible. This can help reduce your workload.
• Take a break: If you see your work quality decreasing, it’s time to take a break, says Nielsen. It might sound counterintuitive but breaks can refresh your mind and give you renewed focus.
• Take a mental health day: If your stress levels are too high and you can’t function, take a mental health day to relax and recharge your batteries.

Strategies to Calm Down Quickly

When stress hits hard at work and you feel an anxiety attack coming, you need to calm down quickly to regain your focus and get back to “work” mode. Here are some strategies that can help:

• Deep breathing: Take slow, deep breaths. Inhale through your nose for a count of four, hold for four counts, and exhale through your mouth for another four. Repeat this a few times to lower your heart rate and relax your mind.
• Counting: Distract your mind by counting backward from 100 by sevens.
• Meditation: Spend a few minutes meditating. Close your eyes and focus on breathing, putting aside any intrusive thoughts.
• Music: Listen to soothing music that calms you down. Choose something instrumental or with a slow tempo.
• Muscle relaxation: Progressive muscle relaxation helps release stored stress in the body. Tense and release different muscle groups, starting from your toes and working your way up.
• Grounding: Anchor yourself in the present moment with the 5-4-3-2-1 technique. This involves looking around you and identifying five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.
• Mindful observation: Pick an object and spend a few minutes observing it closely. Notice its shape, color, texture, and any other details.
• Visualization: Close your eyes and visualize a place where you feel calm and happy, such as a beach, forest, or a cozy room. Imagine yourself there, focusing on the sights, sounds, and feelings associated with that place.
• Walking: Leave your desk and take a short walk, preferably outside. A change of scenery and a little fresh air goes a long way.
• Aromatherapy: If possible, use a few drops of calming essential oils like lavender or chamomile on a tissue or diffuser. The soothing scent can help you relax.

How to Tell Your Manager You’re Struggling

Sometimes meditation techniques or a well-planned task list aren’t enough to alleviate workplace stress. You might have to get your manager involved. It is daunting? Abso-freaking-lutely. But chatting with your boss is the first step towards getting the support you need. Once your manager knows about your issues, they can collaborate with you to find solutions like reducing workloads or adopting new strategies and procedures that promote a healthier work-life balance, says Peña.

Not sure how to approach your manager? Here are a few tips:

• Be prepared: Take some time to think about the specific issues you’re facing and how best to articulate them. Being prepared for the conversation will help you communicate more clearly.
• Document examples: Note down specific instances where stress has impacted your work. This helps illustrate your points and makes the conversation more productive.
• Schedule a meeting: Request a private meeting with your manager to discuss your concerns. Avoid bringing up the topic in group settings or when your manager is in the middle of something.
• Open the conversation: Start by expressing that you value your role and want to do your best. For example, “I really enjoy working here and want to be as effective as possible, but I’ve been experiencing a lot of stress lately.”
• Share specific concerns: Concisely explain the factors contributing to your stress. Be specific about what’s bothering you, whether it’s the workload, deadlines, or particular tasks.
• Explain the impact: Describe how stress is affecting your work performance: “Since I’m staffed on so many projects, I’ve been finding it difficult to meet my deliverables for any of them.”
• Offer solutions: Instead of just complaining, offer potential solutions or suggestions for improvement. For example, “I’ve noticed that balancing multiple projects simultaneously has been challenging. Could we discuss prioritizing tasks or possibly delegating some responsibilities?”
• Listen actively: Be open to your manager’s feedback and suggestions, as they may be able to offer solutions you hadn’t thought of.
• Collaborate on a plan: Work together to create a plan that addresses your stress and improves your work situation. This could include adjusting workloads, setting more realistic deadlines, or providing additional support or resources.
• Check-in regularly: After the initial conversation, schedule follow-up meetings to discuss your progress and any other concerns. Stress management is an ongoing process, so maintaining open communication is crucial.

Long-Term Strategies for Work-Life Balance

One of the best ways to reduce work stress is to stop working. Sounds unbelievable, but I’m serious. Hear me out: a healthy work-life balance is key to staying productive and maintaining stability, says Peña. Below, you’ll find strategies that’ll help you balance work and home:

• Maintain office hours: Establish specific work hours and stick to them. Communicate these boundaries to your managers and coworkers.
• Set boundaries: Don’t overcommit yourself. Be realistic about what you can handle and don’t be afraid to decline additional tasks or responsibilities you don’t have the bandwidth for.
• Practice self-care: Make your physical and mental well-being non-negotiable. Nielsen says to ensure you’re eating a balanced diet, getting regular exercise, staying hydrated, treating any physical illnesses, avoiding mood-altering substances, and maintaining quality sleep.
• Allow for personal time: It’s important to find some time to pause, reflect, and spend time with family, says Peña. 
• Find relaxing hobbies: Engage in relaxing activities such as reading, yoga, or outside with nature.
• Plan vacations: Use your vacation time to disconnect from work and recharge. Plan regular vacations or staycations to relax and unwind.
• Accept your limits: Remember that we are only human. Nielsen says it’s important to accept that you are doing your best and you’re only capable of so much.
• Practice gratitude: Focus on the aspects of your life you’re thankful for to foster a positive mindset.
• Ask for help: If you’re struggling with chronic stress, Nielsen recommends talking to a trusted family member, friend, manager, life coach, or mental healthcare provider about how it’s impacting you and asking for help.
• Consider career changes: If your workload doesn’t let up and your health is suffering, it may be time to think about changing your job or career.

Takeaways

Stress can take a toll on your productivity as well as your health. Find ways to manage it—not just in the short-term to make that deadline—but in the long run to maintain a healthy and sustainable work-life balance.

You raised them, loved them, and launched them into the world. Now your kids are adults with lives of their own. It’s a beautiful thing, right? Absolutely. But let’s be real: navigating relationships and boundaries with adult children can also be a little…tricky.

We want to support their independence while still maintaining our own sanity and well-being. The goal is to figure out how to love our adult kids without losing ourselves in the process. That’s where boundaries come in.

“Boundaries define how we’d like to be treated by others. For parents, specifically with adult children, setting boundaries is about promoting healthy relationships and mutual respect,” says Carly Harris, LMFT, Family Program Director for Young Adult Services, Newport Healthcare.

As our children go from childhood to adulthood, we need to adjust our boundaries with them as our relationship with them redefines itself, says Claudia de Llano, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist and author of “The Seven Destinies of Love.”

Recognizing the Need for Boundaries

Setting boundaries with your adult children might feel counterintuitive to the unconditional love you hold for them. However, it’s essential for maintaining a healthy relationship, because boundaries protect your well-being as well as your children’s. Here’s how:

• Maintaining mutual respect: Boundaries help define what is acceptable and what isn’t in the parent-child relationship. This mutual understanding fosters respect and helps prevent misunderstandings and conflicts.
• Encouraging independence: Establishing boundaries encourages adult children to take responsibility for their own lives. It supports their growth into independent, self-sufficient individuals who can make decisions and handle challenges on their own.
• Preserving parental identity: As parents, we often define ourselves by our children. Having clear boundaries is essential for protecting our time, energy, and identity outside of the parent-child relationship. It ensures that we can pursue our own interests and needs without feeling guilty.
• Preventing resentment: Overinvolvement can lead to feelings of resentment on both sides. Boundaries can help prevent this.
• Strengthening relationships: Healthy boundaries can lead to more positive interactions. When parents and children know and respect each other’s limits, it can lead to more harmonious and supportive relationships.

Understanding Your Children’s Adulthood

Understanding that your children have transitioned into adulthood is crucial for setting effective boundaries. This involves recognizing that they are individuals with their own lives, hopes, dreams, and challenges. The experts help us explore what that might look like.

Promoting Autonomy

By treating your children like adults, you can encourage them to take responsibility for their own lives. This includes letting them handle their health, lifestyle, finances, relationships, and career decisions independently.

One of the markers of launching our children successfully into adulthood is trusting and facilitating their independence in a way that sets them free with the confidence to navigate the world, says de Llano. “This requires setting up firm yet flexible boundaries that gives them a sense of personal responsibility as well as an ability to take risks and make decisions.”

Accepting Their Decisions

Your children need to make their own decisions, even if their choices differ from your expectations, values, or principles.

Chances are they’ll make mistakes along the way, but you have to let them learn their lessons. Allowing adult children to problem solve without interference teaches them to manage the challenges of everyday life, says de Llano.

“It’s important to recognize that adulthood means autonomy, and as parents we really do need to respect that. Sometimes our adult child just doesn’t want to listen to our advice and that’s okay,” says Harris.

Respecting Their Boundaries

Just as you’re setting rules, your children might be too. It’s essential to respect their boundaries and give them the space they need to explore their careers, relationships, and interests without interfering.

“We can provide light guidance as they navigate setting their own boundaries, but again, we have to allow them to make their own decisions through their own autonomy over their lives,” says Harris.

Recognizing Their Individuality

As your children grow up, it’s important to let them become their own people. “Adulthood is about defining one’s own person outside of the family system—this is a process of self-discovery where the child may develop differing opinions, ideas, and even values that lead to self-differentiation,” de Llano explains.

As much as you might wish them to, your child may not have the same beliefs, values, and priorities that you do. You also can’t use the timeline you followed as a young adult to judge your child’s progress or success because times change, says Harris.

As parents, we need to support our children without feeling the need to bend them to our will, in order to help them form a solid sense of self that includes positive self-esteem and the ability to forge their own path in life, says de Llano.

Building New Relationships

Perhaps the most important part of understanding your child’s adulthood involves building a new relationship with them. “At this developmental phase, it’s appropriate to focus on being a mentor rather than a director in your child’s life,” says Harris.

Setting and Modeling Healthy Boundaries

These are some strategies that can help you set and model healthy boundaries with your adult children:

• Recognize your needs: Identify your own needs and limits. Understand what boundaries are important for your well-being and why they matter.
• Communicate honestly: Have an honest conversation with your children about your boundaries. Clearly outline what behaviors are acceptable and what are not. Explain your reasons and ask for their inputs.
• Be flexible: Boundaries need to be adapted to the needs, personality, and individuality of each child, says de Llano. “Rigid boundaries can push people apart, whereas permissive boundaries can cause too much fragmentation.” Research shows that it’s important to be open to discussion and negotiation while setting boundaries.
• Learn to say no: When your children make requests that violate your boundaries, learn how to say no without feeling guilty.
• Lead by example: Model the behavior you expect from your adult children. Respect their boundaries as you expect them to honor yours.
• Enforce your boundaries: If you set a boundary, stick to it consistently. Being inconsistent can confuse your children and make it hard for them to take you seriously.
• Prioritize your well-being: Practice self-care and make your own physical, mental, and emotional well-being a priority, showing your children that it’s okay to prioritize personal needs.

Defining Personal Limits

These are some examples of setting boundaries and modeling ideal behavior with adult children.

Finances

Boundary: “No, I won’t be able to lend you any more money, but I’m happy to help you polish up your resume so you can apply for a job.”

Model behavior: Show your children how you manage your own finances responsibly and discuss your budgeting strategies with them.

Time and Availability

Boundary: “I love spending time with you but I already have plans today. I wish you would give me some notice before coming over, so I can make sure I’m available.”

Model behavior: Reciprocate the favor by checking your children’s availability before making plans and not showing up unannounced.

Chores

Boundary: “If you’re going to live with us for some time, you need to help out around the house. Let’s make a list of some chores you could do.”

Model behavior: Be neat, clean, organized, efficient, and hands-on, so your children learn what self-sufficiency looks like. Assign them age-appropriate chores from a young age, so they’re involved in the housework.

Personal Space

Boundary: “We’re happy for you to use the kitchen, but please clean up after yourself when you’re done instead of leaving a mess for the next person.”

Model behavior: Respect your children’s personal space and don’t misuse it.

Belongings

Boundary: “Please let us know before borrowing something, otherwise we cannot find it when we need it.”

Model behavior: Don’t help yourself to your children’s belongings. Ask before borrowing something and return it in a timely manner.

Seeking Support

If you or your children are struggling to set healthy boundaries with each other, you may find it difficult to interact with each other without negativity or conflict. This can take a toll on your relationship and harm your family dynamics. Seeking support can help you resolve some of these issues and build a healthier relationship with each other.

These are some forms of support that may be helpful:

• Therapy: A therapist can help you set boundaries and improve your communication. Family therapy may be particularly helpful in this scenario.
• Counseling: Many communities and organizations offer counseling services that can provide support and advice.
• Life coaching: Life coaches can help with personal development, goal setting, and communication. They can help you or your children figure out your lives and learn to be more independent of each other.
• Mediation: A neutral third party, such as a trusted friend or family member, can facilitate communication between you and your children.
• Support groups: Connecting with others who have similar experiences can be validating and provide practical advice. You can find a support group near you or online.
• Reading material: There are many self-help books and articles that focus on setting boundaries and improving family relationships.

Takeaways

As your children grow up, your relationship with them will change and it’s important for your boundaries to reflect that. Setting boundaries with adult children is an act of love and respect, leading to healthier relationships for everyone involved.

In any professional setting, the question of leadership is something that can linger over an entire team or organization. If you’re in a management position, there’s a good chance you’ve struggled from time to time with how to handle complex situations and strike the right tone to keep your team motivated and productive.

The Fiedler Contingency Model organizes this idea into the full-blown theory that no one leadership style is universally effective. This model was developed by Austrian psychologist Fred Fiedler in the 1960s. He studied leaders’ personalities and characteristics and came to the conclusion that leadership is most effective when a leader’s style is matched to the situation, a key tenet of this theory.

Understanding the Fiedler Contingency Model

Fiedler’s Contingency Model, also known as Fiedler’s Contingency Theory or Fiedler’s Theory of Leadership, emphasizes that there is no single best style of leadership.

Still, your leadership style can incredibly difficult to change because it is forged over a lifetime. As a result, the most effective leader for a given situation is one that fits well with that situation. Put another way, because a leader’s style is hard to change, it’s often best to put a leader into a situation that matches their leadership style.

There are two factors that are thought to determine a leader’s ability to succeed: situational favorableness and leadership style.

Situational Favorableness in Fiedler’s Theory

Situational favorableness, or situational control, refers to how favorable a situation is to a particular leadership style. Dr. Naomi Ben-Ami, PsyD, of Williamsburg Therapy Group, says, “Situational favorableness in Fiedler’s theory refers to the extent that a situation enables a leader to have influence on their group.”

There are three factors that determine situational favorableness:

• Leader-member relations, which has to do with trust between the team and the leader. The more trust the team places in a leader, the more favorable the situation.
• Task structure, which relates to how clearly the tasks required to complete a project have been communicated. The more clear-cut the tasks are the higher the task structure, and the higher the task structure, the more favorable the situation.
• Position power, which refers to the amount of authority the leader has over their team. When the leader’s power position is high, the leader will be best positioned to usher the team through reward or punishment. Higher position power makes for a more favorable situation.

“Higher situational favorableness will enable the leader to exert more influence and be more effective,” says Ben-Ami. Therefore, the higher you can get on all three factors, the better your situation will be.

Leadership Styles in Fiedler’s Theory

There are two kinds of leaders in Fiedler’s Contingency Model: Task-oriented leaders and relationship-oriented leaders. To determine your leadership style, the Fiedler model measures leadership on the Least-Preferred Co-Worker (LPC) scale. On this scale, you rate your feelings about the co-worker you least preferred to work with.

Relationship-oriented leaders, explains Ben-Ami, “build strong interpersonal connections, engender trust, and emphasize collaboration. [However,] they… could struggle with maintaining task efficiency that can be required in some situations.”

On the other hand, task-oriented leaders, says Ben-Ami, “focus on achieving goals, emphasizing efficiency, and ensuring task completion. These leaders… excel in providing structure and direction. However, they may struggle in situations that are more ambiguous and where relationships are more central.”

Examples of Fiedler’s Contingency Theory

Fiedler’s Contingency Theory can be applied in any situation where leadership is needed. For example, in a creative group, like a group of graphic designers at an ad agency, the group may have low task structure, the leader’s position power is weak, and there will be good leader-member relations. As a result, you “want a relationship-oriented leader to get these creative minds to work together rather than a task-oriented leader trying to impose… decisions on the group.”

On the other hand, with a newly hired manager at a start-up tech company, the task structure is low, the new manager’s position power is low, and leader-member relations are poor because the leader is new. This scenario calls for a task-oriented leader because the situation is highly unfavorable. A relationship-oriented leader would have trouble getting things done because they’d want to get team members’ buy-in. Task-oriented leaders don’t have this problem.

Task-oriented leaders can also be useful when task structure is high. For instance, for a basketball team or a commercial flight, the leader’s desire to take charge will work in the situation’s favor.

Based on these examples, it can be understood that different leadership styles are required depending on the situation. “[Leadership] training programs will focus on increasing a leader’s understanding of situational favorableness” through task structure, power position, and leader-member relations, says Ben-Ami, “and providing them with skills to be more flexible with their leadership style.”

Fiedler’s Contingency Model encourages leaders to practice self-awareness, an essential tool for a leader, and take account of the situation, not just the leader, something other theories don’t often do.

Potential Downsides of Fiedler’s Theory

However, the theory has been criticized for being far too strict. The model says if you can’t change the situation, you must give up leadership. There are no other options.

Also, self-assessment isn’t always a reliable way to determine one’s leadership style. We all have biases that can interfere with personal assessment, including on the LPC, even if it’s subconscious.

Finally, it’s unclear what people who score in the middle of the LPC should do. The theory says these people should just pick one leadership style or the other, but there has to be another way for them to handle this.

Takeaways

Since its introduction in the 1960s, Fiedler’s Contingency Model has been a significant theory of leadership. With its emphasis that no single style of leadership is most effective, Fiedler’s model reminds us that leadership isn’t a one-size-fits-all proposition.

If your team isn’t performing well, it just might be that you have a leader who isn’t effective in the environment. This doesn’t mean the leader is bad generally, but that they may just be bad for the situation. As a result, fitting the leader to the situation is of paramount importance, with task-oriented and relationship-oriented leaders fitting into different environments.