How the Let Them Theory Can Transform Your Relationships

by with No Comment Dating Tips, Guide and Advice


To some extent, we all want to control our environments and circumstances. It’s natural, normal, and a survival instinct. But sometimes, we take that instinct too far and try to control other people. That leads us to getting frustrated when they don’t behave as we want them to.

If you’ve ever been told by others that you could stand to take a deep breath and let go of your need to control, the “let them” theory might be just what the psychologist ordered for you. It’s a theory that helps bring you peace by shifting focus from what you can control, to how to just…stop that. Let’s find out more about it.

What Is the “Let Them” Theory?

This theory was kickstarted by podcaster and motivational speaker Mel Robbins in her book published in 2024. As she puts it, “The Let Them Theory is a step-by-step guide on how to stop letting other people’s opinions, drama, and judgment impact your life.” Outside of the book, this means the theory is all about simply letting others do what they will.

You’re probably already letting other people do exactly that—but you may be overly involved in their choices, and trying to control their actions. This theory suggests that you divest yourself from that way of living, and instead, allow others to do what they will. You’ll release control, and in turn, it will help you feel more settled and relaxed.

“The “Let Them” theory argues that we can’t control other people’s thoughts and actions,” says Dr. Terri Orbuch, PhD, therapist and professor at Oakland University in Michigan. She notes that “by saying ‘let them,’ we accept that we can’t change others’ opinions or actions, and we can’t influence them to meet our expectations.”

Additionally, she says you’re not giving up control of everything—only the areas of your life that you have no control over anyway. “The ‘Let Them’ theory does not argue that you need to let go of all control, totally. But instead, understand what you can control and what you can’t,” she explains.

Emotional Awareness and Self-Reflection

Letting others do what they will, and detaching yourself from that process, can do wonders for your own mental wellness. “The “let them” theory promotes emotional awareness by encouraging you to observe and accept the emotional experiences of others without trying to control or intervene,” says Dr. Sanam Hafeez,  NYC Neuropsychologist Director of Comprehend the Mind.

When you do that, it will help you see your emotions more clearly. “We become aware of our own emotions and what affects our emotions. We also shift the focus to what we can control—our own emotions and needs, and when we do, we become less frustrated and happier,” says Orbuch.

Once you understand your emotions better, you can start to work with them. Says Hafeez, ” This introspection can expose you to fears of failing or discomfort with indecision, so you can know your emotional triggers.” From there, she explains that “this practice eventually helps you notice and control your own emotions and become more emotionally aware and developed.”

Benefits and Challenges of the Theory

While there are many upsides to putting this theory into practice, that doesn’t mean it’s always easy to do. Let’s look at how it can help you, and why it can be challenging to implement.

Benefits

Most importantly, using the let them theory may have you feeling more chill. “When you say ‘let them,’ you’ll experience less worry, frustration and stress about how others feel about you,” says Orbuch. From there, you can learn to have some flexibility and be less attached to the specific outcomes you desire occurring at all times.

This will make you a more adaptable person. Says Hafeez, “letting go of control makes it easier to adapt to changing circumstances, fostering a sense of resilience and a more open approach to life.”

The let them theory can also help you improve your overall mental health. Hafeez notes that “trying to control everything can contribute to burnout and feelings of frustration. Letting go can reduce mental exhaustion and promote a healthier mindset.”

Obruch says this frees up your mental space and can enable you to have a more fulfilled life. “By spending less time and emotional energy on trying to get others to meet your expectations, you’ll have more time to devote to you and your needs, wants, and interests,” she says. Additionally, she tells us that “you’ll sleep better, because you’ll worry less about why others are not meeting your expectations, or how others feel about you.”

Challenges

Of course, just because we want to make a change doesn’t mean it’s a quick switch to flip. Implementing the let them theory can actually go against a lot of our instincts. Hafeez says everything from cultural expectations to our natural desires to help others can get in the way here.

Additionally, the let them theory can bring up our own difficulties in life; Haffez says personal insecurity can ramp up, noting that “a fear of being seen as inadequate or uninvolved can drive the instinct to intervene. If someone feels insecure about their worth or role, they may feel compelled to take control to prove themselves valuable or competent.”

Lastly, the let them theory requires a lot of trust, and not everyone feels that about all the people in their life. Says Orbuch, “we think that others judge us, so we worry about those judgments.” Hafeez adds that “if you have a low level of trust, either in yourself or in others, it becomes very challenging to step back and allow things to unfold without interference.”

The Impact on Relationships and Personal Well-being

Once you’ve tackled the challenges of the let them theory, you can watch it play out positively in your life. It can improve both your personal relationships and your own sense of emotional wellness.

Obruch tells us that you’re likely to be happier overall, both on your own and in relation to the people in your life. “When we don’t set expectations that can’t be met, we are happier,” she notes. She also says that you’re likely to feel reduced stress, and to have an overall larger sense of calm than you currently might.

You also might enjoy the people in your life more than you currently do, once you implement the “let them” theory. “It can make the relationship seem more real as each side is able to say what they want without being judged or interfered. This allows the relationship to be built on trust, acceptance and authenticity,” says Hafeez.

She says this can also help you know others better, telling us that “By not trying to dictate or control everything, you allow the other person to be themselves fully.  When you don’t try to ‘fix’ everything, it shows that you appreciate the person for who they are, not because they fit into your picture or your vision.”

Steps to Implement the “Let Them Theory”

You might be excited by the idea, but how do you begin? Thankfully, it’s a very straightforward process.

The first step is to get a handle on how often you’re trying to control others. Advises Orbuch, “Make a list (and count) the number of times you worry in a day about what someone is thinking about you, or you want to influence what someone does or says? How large is the list?”

Next, Orbuch recommends starting a calendar or journal. “Every time you find yourself wondering why someone acted the way they did, or they didn’t meet your expectations, you want to tell yourself to ‘stop’ and say (and think) ‘let them.’ Let them think or do that. Let them be them. Write it down in your calendar,” she instructs.

Specifically, she says to “write down your emotions and reactions in your calendar. Do you feel less stress? Are you calmer? Do you feel stronger? More confident?” She advises practicing this shift multiple times a day, for 21 days.

As you move through the process, Hafeez suggests that you remain an active listener rather than always trying to give solutions. “When someone is sharing their thoughts or emotions, listen fully without jumping in with advice or solutions. Simply being present can help them feel heard and supported,” she explains.

And if they don’t ask for advice, stop giving it: “If someone hasn’t asked for your opinion, hold back. Giving advice without being asked can often feel like control, even when it’s well-intentioned,” she says.

As you do all this, you’ll also want to set clear boundaries with yourself about your actions. “Recognize when you’re overstepping your bounds, and set mental boundaries to prevent yourself from getting too involved in someone else’s personal affairs,” recommends Hafeez. Lastly, you’ll need to add trust to the equation, even if that doesn’t come naturally for you. “Support others in making their own decisions, even if you’re not sure they’ll make the “right” choice. Trust that their mistakes are part of their learning process,” she advises.

Bottom Line

The let them theory is the simple to think of–but more emotionally challenging to implement–notion that we will be happier people if we stop trying to exert control over other people. It suggests that rather than always offering advice, being invested in the outcomes of others’ lives, and feeling frustrated when people don’t make what we consider the “right” decisions, we instead step back and let them do as they will.

By separating ourselves from outcomes we can’t control, we can feel happier, more relaxed, and less frustrated with our relationships with others. You can implement this theory in a formal way through journaling, and if you aren’t ready for that, you could try just practicing it occasionally and seeing how it makes you feel differently than before. However you use it, the let them theory can help you be less invested in outcomes you can’t control.


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Regain Online Couples Therapy Review

by with No Comment Dating Tips, Guide and Advice

Couples therapy is a specific type of therapy in which a couple attends therapy together, often to work on things in their relationship. Some seek couples therapy before getting married to ensure that they are prepared for the commitment, while others seek it to recover following an affair, minimize conflict in their relationship, or decide whether or not they want to stay together.

Couples therapy differs from individual therapy because it focuses on the relationship rather than the individual, and often it does not involve diagnosing someone with a particular mental health issue. Because of this, many health insurance plans will not cover couples therapy even though it can be very beneficial in improving communication, reducing relationship distress, and improving the mental health of both parties in the couple.

For this review, we surveyed 100 users of Regain about their experiences and sent the company a questionnaire. We evaluated things like cost, accessibility, what services it offers, and who it treats. My partner and I also signed up for therapy ourselves to test its services. Eighty-seven percent of those we surveyed reported that their experience with the platform was very good or excellent, and we agree.

ReGain

PHOTO: Verywell Mind

How We Tested Online Therapy

  • 82 Companies reviewed
  • 8,400 Total users surveyed
  • 350 Data points analyzed

Curious about the extensive work we did to research and evaluate online therapy companies? Take a look at our online therapy methodology.

What Regain Offers

Regain, owned and operated by online therapy giant BetterHelp, allows you to sign up for individual therapy or couples therapy, though in both cases, the focus of your sessions will be on relationships because the platform markets itself to couples who want help connecting, communicating, and improving their relationships.

If you sign up for individual therapy on the platform, you do have the option of inviting your partner at a later time. If you sign up for couples therapy, you will create an account that both you and your partner have access to. 

You both can message your Regain therapist through the platform at any time, and can schedule weekly video or phone sessions. Therapists answer messages within one business day. Therapists can share worksheets and educational resources through the platform as well.

When working with our therapist, she provided us with worksheets at the end of each session based on what we had talked about. She chose resources that fit our presenting concerns and what we said we wanted to work on. We were able to submit them back to her prior to the next session. She also sent us messages checking in between sessions to ensure the worksheets made sense and that we found them helpful.

An important thing to note: If you sign up for a couples account, you and your partner can both see all messages between you and the therapist. However, you have the option to schedule individual sessions with the therapist as well if you want to discuss something one-on-one without your partner, even on the couples plan.

Who Is Regain For?

Regain says its services are for individuals and couples who want to receive therapy through telehealth. Its website indicates that it can help with issues including premarital counseling, discernment counseling, marriage therapy, and other presenting relationship concerns. Specific specialties may vary depending on your location, as Regain will only match you with a therapist who is licensed to practice where you are.

How Much Does Regain Cost?

Regain only offers one subscription option which, on average, costs between $70 and $100 per week billed every four weeks, with the rate varying based on “location, source, preferences, and therapist availability.” When we reached out to parent company BetterHelp, the company confirmed that it engages in surge pricing based on supply and demand and that there is no fixed pricing by state or location. As a result, if you live in a place where there is more demand for therapists, your subscription prices may be higher than they are for people in other states. 

Since the price is not locked in, this cost variation may very well be a deal-breaker for some users who can’t find out their specific price until they’ve completed the intake process, only to get locked in at a higher subscription price just because of the timing of when they needed help. This poses a huge barrier to care for people who cannot afford the higher surge prices.

Eighty-two percent of the users we surveyed indicated that Regain’s services were affordable or very affordable, and 86% rated the service as very good or excellent value for the money.

Payment information on Regain’s website is found on its FAQ page, which indicates that you can cancel “at any time, for any reason,” though you continue to have access to the platform until the time already paid for has elapsed. You are not refunded if you cancel your account early.

Does Regain Accept Insurance?

Regain does not accept insurance or work with insurance plans, so you do have to pay for services out-of-pocket. 

However, given the emphasis on couples therapy, it is unlikely that you would be able to pay with insurance even if the platform accepted it, as very few insurance companies cover couples therapy.

Regain’s website also indicates that its weekly fees are comparable to office co-pays. However, many insurance plans have co-pays of $50 or $25. Additionally, plans with deductibles might cover sessions at 80% or even 100% after the deductible is met.

Navigating the Regain Website and App

When you pull up the Regain website, you are greeted with a stock photo of a couple hugging beneath an animated message encouraging you to “regain” several things, including companionship, trust, passion, communication, and intimacy. 

The home page has soft shades of blue with some red, which had a calming effect on me when I first viewed it. It asks, “Serious about saving or improving your relationship? Get professional therapy from a licensed therapist,” and offers “Individual and couples therapy.”

The top menu provides links to Advice (articles and blog posts), FAQs about the platform, Reviews, a Contact form for customer service, and a Login for existing users. 

At the bottom of the page, you can view the Terms & Conditions, Privacy Policy, Cookie Settings, Web Accessibility, and a link to resources for anyone who may be in a crisis (for whom ReGain’s online therapy services are not recommended). 

We found the website navigation to be intuitive and user-friendly. I created the account and had them send an invitation to my husband, and he was able to sign up and join the account without issue. The Frequently Asked Questions page had helpful information about the process and policies. Neither of us noted increased ads after starting the program.

The navigation and setup of Regain are very similar to BetterHelp and Teen Counseling, its other teen-specific platform. Some of the Frequently Asked Questions have identical answers across the platforms.

Of the users we surveyed, 95% found Regain’s website easy or very easy to navigate, and 97% indicated that the sign-up process was easy or very easy.

Does Regain Have an App?

Regain has an app that is available on the Apple and Google Play stores. It is free to download, and you can sign up through the app or log in to an account you created elsewhere. The app has very similar navigation to the website, with easy-to-find links. You can message your therapist, complete worksheets, and join sessions when logged into the app.

Signing Up for Therapy at Regain

Regain’s home page invites users to “Get started” with a large, blue button in the center of the page, as well as in the upper right corner of the homepage. 

Sign up is quick, taking less than 10 minutes, but requires you to answer several questions about yourself, your relationship, and what you need from therapy.

Questions include whether you are creating an individual or couple’s account, demographic information about yourself (including your sexual orientation, gender identity, and age), what state you are located in, what previous therapy experiences you’ve had, and whether you are experiencing domestic violence.

An important note: if there is domestic violence is present in the relationship, couples therapy is absolutely not appropriate or recommended. However, even though Regain requires users to indicate whether or not they are experiencing domestic violence, you can continue the sign-up process even after selecting yes.

If you indicated that you are registering for couples therapy, after one user completes the sign-up, an invitation goes to the other user. That user is asked the same set of questions when they join the account, and users do not see each other’s answers.

In general, the questions are easy to navigate and all present with multiple-choice answers so you can keep moving through to sign-up quickly.

However, when indicating your gender identity, Regain offers “Man,” “Woman,” or “See more options.” If you click to see more options, there are choices for various nonbinary or fluid identities, but it did stand out to us that you have to take this extra step.

After finishing the questionnaire, you are prompted to input payment information. This screen includes information about applying for financial assistance. You are charged for four weeks at a time, even though the prices are listed per week.

It’s worth noting that when we first signed up, we actually were matched with two therapists for this project, but we did not meet with the first therapist we matched with because I had a pre-existing professional relationship with her as a therapist myself. This is not uncommon in a state like South Dakota where there are a lot of small towns and not many providers available, but because of the dual relationship, I requested to change before we had any sessions. 

There is a link in the profile that lets you do this with one click. I did not see the link right away and filled out the contact form, but it was not difficult to find. Customer service responded to my email within a couple of hours with specific and helpful instructions. We were able to view the first therapist’s policies and profile before we made the switch.

Once you complete the sign-up process and enter payment information, you’ll receive a message saying that you can be matched with a therapist within 48 hours, though it often occurs more quickly. We got our match within two hours. You’ll receive an email when your match is made, and in that email, you can view that therapist’s bio and profile, including a photograph. You can add a profile picture to your account as well if you want to, but this is not required. The therapist’s bio is pretty detailed, including information about their qualifications, what university they attended, certification and licensure information, their approach to treatment, experience, specializations, and the types of service they offer, whether that is messaging, phone, and/or video sessions. 

When we matched with our first therapist, the platform seemed to take our preferences into account. However, when we switched and had options, the options included therapists whose demographics did not match what we had requested. This might happen in areas like South Dakota where not a lot of providers are available, so you can’t always get someone who meets all your requests.

Of those we surveyed, 96% of users were satisfied or very satisfied with the therapist options on ReGain, and 93% rated the therapist qualifications as very good or excellent.

How Do Therapy Sessions Work at Regain?

Once you are matched to a couples therapist, you can schedule live sessions right away through your personal portal and/or the app.  You book a time directly yourself with the scheduling calendar in the portal, though if you are having trouble finding a time that works for you, you can also message your therapist with questions or let them know you can’t find a time that works.

You can schedule sessions via video or audio, though you are encouraged to use video sessions so that you and your therapist can see each other. Audio sessions might be more comfortable for someone very anxious about their session, and turning off video is one way to troubleshoot connection issues if your wifi is spotty or unstable. You and your partner can log in from one device or separate devices if you join the session from different locations.

Before we could schedule our first session, we were presented with informed consent information provided by our therapist. (This occurred again after we changed therapists, with different wording, suggesting that each therapist can tailor their policies based on their practice, which allows for both individual therapist style and for clients to make requests based on their needs and preferences.) 

We were also prompted to provide emergency contact information and certify that we understood that the platform was not appropriate for crisis intervention.

Live Video Sessions

Our initial session was 45 minutes long, and subsequent sessions were 30 minutes. This is short for couples therapy–many individual sessions are typically 45 minutes, and often couples therapists will have 60- or even 90-minute sessions to ensure that there is enough time to address everything that comes up. To join the session, you simply log in and wait for the therapist to initiate the session. Our therapist logged into the video session on time and the first session focused on establishing our goals for treatment and getting some general background information on us. 

After each session, she sent us worksheets and activities we could do in between sessions to improve our communication and work towards the goals we’d established. Each worksheet included a question about how helpful we found it so that she could choose appropriate activities for us based on our feedback. 

When she sent us a worksheet, it appeared in our Regain inbox, and clicking the worksheet took you to the worksheet on Regain’s website. Once we filled out the worksheet, we could submit completed worksheets easily by clicking “Submit” at the bottom of the page, allowing her to review them before our meetings.

Before each session, we received email and text reminders 24 hours in advance, 30 minutes before, and five minutes before the session was scheduled to start. While we didn’t mind receiving both text and email reminders each time,  you can go into your settings to indicate you only want email or text reminders.

The video platform on Regain worked well for us. We did not have issues connecting to the platform, seeing or hearing our therapist, or allowing her to see and hear us. There was some background noise from someone using a microwave in another room in the therapist’s office (the sessions were not interrupted, and there was no one else present in the room, but this was a bit distracting). Overall, though, the platform was very user-friendly, and the technology worked well.

All communication with our therapist was through the Regain platform, which we could access online or through the app, in the inbox that you access when you log in.

In between sessions, our therapist responded to messages we sent within 24 hours. Her responses were thorough and addressed any questions we included. There was an option to mark messages as “urgent,” which we did not use during our trial. I can see this option being useful so that clients can indicate if they are hoping for a sooner response, but this option could also lead to clients relying on the messaging platform for emergencies or crises, which would not be appropriate.

We could both see all messages from each other and the therapist. Our therapist let us know very clearly that this feature is intended to allow us to check in, send her updates, and ask questions, but the messaging application itself was not intended as therapy. It is essentially like being able to email your therapist in between appointments, but all messages include your partner.

What Happens If I Miss a Session?

As noted, you are given one session per week as part of your Regain subscription, which you schedule in your portal. You can also reschedule or cancel appointments in this same place. If you cancel, your therapist might not have additional availability that week, especially if you cancel very close to your appointment time. Our therapist made a point of letting us know that she could add additional times if nothing listed worked for us, though.

Though therapists had flexibility with policies, the therapists we connected with had the same cancellation policy as each other, which was that we could choose another appointment in the same week based on their listed availability. Information about cancellation policy or missed appointments is not available on Regain’s website.

Switching Therapists

If you feel like the therapist you were matched with is not a good fit for your needs or you simply want to change therapists, it is very easy to switch. 

When you log into the platform, click your name in the upper right corner of the screen. The third option says, “Change therapist.”

This option is easy to find, but I did not see it right away so I contacted customer support for help. They responded quickly with concise, step-by-step directions to help me.

If you choose to change therapists, you are asked about preferences for a new therapist, including gender, religion, age, and language spoken. However, when I changed therapists on the platform, I indicated a preference for a female therapist and was given options for male and female therapists, so these preferences do not always filter out therapists who do not meet your reported criteria.

Although Regain initially matches you to a therapist, when you change therapists, you are given two to four options to choose from. This could be a good option for clients who are looking for something specific that the match did not account for. You can review therapist profiles and choose the therapist that you think is best for you using information including availability, areas of specialization, and a bio with information about the therapist. All therapist options provided were licensed in our state.

You can also provide information about why you are changing therapists to improve your experience with the platform. 

According to our survey, 91% of Regain’s users plan to still be using the platform in six months, and 87% plan to still be using the platform in one year.

Fifty-four percent of users indicated they have changed therapists on their Regain platform at least once. Ninety-three percent were able to switch therapists through the website without needing assistance from customer support.

Pausing or Canceling Regain

Regain’s website indicates that you can cancel at any time. However, your subscription continues until the end of the pay period you have already purchased, and you cannot get a refund for discontinuing early. Under your account, you can change your subscription and indicate that you do not intend to renew. Until the pay period ends, you can still access your messages, message your therapist, and have weekly appointments.

Quality of Care and User Satisfaction

Regain’s website states that it only employs licensed therapists and will match you to someone licensed where you are. My experience with the company was consistent with this, and I was only given the option to meet with therapists who were licensed, qualified, and practiced in my state.

The therapist we ended up meeting with was professional, listened to us, and was able to meet our needs. She worked with us to create goals based on our experiences and provided us with worksheets and activities that fit in with those needs.

Searching reviews for Regain online reveals overall positive feedback from users who feel they were able to work with qualified therapists who were a good fit for them. And our survey found the same. 

Sixty percent of users in our survey indicated that all their needs were met by their Regain therapist, and an additional 38% indicated that most of their needs were met. However, providers and users alike have expressed concern about Regain’s connection to BetterHelp, as this platform has been widely criticized for underpaying therapists and not properly safeguarding client information. When we reached out with our company survey, BetterHelp declined to answer questions specific to any of their platforms and instead simply indicated that policies are the same for all of them.

As we were using the platform, we were invited to provide feedback about our therapist after about one week. The survey indicated that our therapist would not see our comments, so we could be honest about our experience. We were given one review to complete about our experience.

We provided positive feedback because we felt that our therapist was wonderful, qualified, and met our needs well. Afterward, we received an invitation to review Regain on non-affiliated review websites. This concerned me because Principle 5.05 of the ethics code of the American Psychological Association states, “Psychologists do not solicit testimonials from current therapy clients/patients.”

Users that we surveyed listed many positive qualities. Many indicated that the platform is easier to use compared to other platforms they have tried, and the therapists available have more specialized experiences and training compared to other platforms. This makes sense, as Regain specifically provides couples therapy, a niche service.

Overall, though, the care we received through Regain was high quality, but the platform itself raises some ethical questions.

Our Other Testers’ Experiences with Regain

We tested Regain four other times, in New York, Ohio, and the United Kingdom, and tried out both its couples counseling and individual relationship counseling. Our experiences varied wildly—for the most part, our couples therapy was productive, but our individual therapy was unhelpful, and in both circumstances, we suffered because of the short session times.

In one case, we tried Regain for about six months; and while we benefitted from our couples sessions at first, we eventually hit a wall in our care. We sought therapy because of a variety of stressors that were affecting our relationship, including differences in our parenting styles. For the first couple months, we and our partner were “on our best behavior”—meaning we didn’t actually really delve into the issues that were at the core of our relationship. Although our therapist was warm and welcoming and tried her best to put us at ease in our sessions, she assigned us “homework” after each session that quickly became a chore to do. In addition, the short sessions worked against us, especially when we tried to dig into more serious issues that we really needed more time to address. We often got cut off in the middle of arguments or more heated discussions, which led to difficult weeks between sessions when we still felt like we were in the middle of a fight that we couldn’t resolve. This felt insurmountable, and eventually led us to discontinuing our Regain subscription.

Our other experience with Regain’s couples therapy was much better. Our therapist was both professional and inviting, and was clearly familiar with both online therapy and relationship counseling. We developed a clear plan for our sessions and dove in immediately, and the worksheets she sent after each session felt helpful to us. The only complaint we had about our provider was that she didn’t have much availability, which made rescheduling sessions difficult; however, we switched to a different therapist who had a much more flexible schedule, and we were just as pleased with them. 

However, our individual relationship therapy through Regain was terrible. We sought this type of therapy because we wanted to address our own personal issues and challenges that were affecting our relationship, and Regain advertises that it can provide both couples and individual counseling pertaining to relationships. We found our first therapist to be very blunt and direct, explaining right off the bat the services that she did and did not provide (which felt a little bit like she was telling us off before we’d even got started). And although we appreciated her transparency, she did little to help guide the session—this led to a lot of long, awkward pauses and little progress, especially since we didn’t feel like she understood our concerns. But when we switched therapists, things got even worse.

Our next therapist seemed completely disengaged and even admitted to us that she was tired from staying up late the night before. Then she interrupted us to ask why we were seeking therapy alone rather than with our partner, and when we explained that Regain offers both couples and individual relationship counseling, she argued with us. We felt completely demoralized at this point, and really couldn’t make any more use of our time with that therapist.

Regain vs. Its Competitors

Regain is very similar to other online therapy platforms, with the added specialization of working with couples and offering relationship-focused therapy. You and your partner can share an account and match with therapists who have experience in relationship work. You have the option of messaging your therapist at any time and from any device, and you can schedule live sessions every week.

Some similar platforms offer pay-as-you-go services, where you are only billed for sessions you attend. Others, such as Talkspace, offer multiple subscription options so that clients can choose the frequency or length of sessions they prefer. Regain has only one option available, which simplifies the sign-up process but leaves fewer options for the client. This means that clients cannot opt for a different approach that might be a better fit for them. It might also cause clients to remain in treatment because they paid ahead rather than because they still feel it is beneficial.

Regain also does not have the option to bill your insurance or seek reimbursement from insurance. Although it states that it tries to keep prices comparable to a co-pay, this can make the platform inaccessible to low-income prospective clients whose insurance might not include a co-pay or out-of-pocket expense. According to the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality, the average co-pay in the United States is $24. Additionally, sliding scale services can be as low as $0, and Open Path Collective, a platform that connects clients to therapists with sliding scale rates, offers session rates of $30 to $70.

Sixty-one percent of users we surveyed indicated that Regain was better or much better than other therapy platforms they have tried in the past. In particular, they liked how easy it was to switch therapists, the therapist specializations and training, and the number of therapist options on the platform.

Overall, clients looking specifically for couples therapy are likely to find a qualified therapist through Regain. While other online therapy companies may offer couples therapy, Regain specializes in this service and focuses primarily on offering care to couples.

Related: The 10 Best Online Couples Therapy Services We Tried and Tested

Final Verdict

Regain offers convenient relationship therapy by licensed providers. Individuals or couples can connect with therapists who specialize in this type of therapy, change therapists easily, utilize multiple communication formats, and receive resources from their therapist quickly and easily. The platform is intuitive and user-friendly, and customer support is responsive to any questions or difficulties you have.

Many couples struggle with scheduling sessions due to finding times that work for both them and their therapist, as well as commuting to in-person sessions. Regain’s platform allows couples to join sessions from separate locations or the same location and makes scheduling and rescheduling easy. This is perfect for couples with busy schedules who have trouble getting to in-person sessions simultaneously, those who are separated, and those who prefer the convenience of being seen from home. 

Our experience with our therapist was wonderfully positive. She was qualified, attentive, and did great work with us. Other therapists listed on the platform appeared to be qualified and licensed as well. However, as a psychologist, I think I will probably still stick to in-person for now because that’s what I personally prefer.

Methodology

To fairly and accurately review the best online therapy programs, we sent questionnaires to 55 companies and surveyed 100 current users of each. This allowed us to directly compare services offered by gathering qualitative and quantitative data about each company and its users’ experiences.

Specifically, we evaluated each company on the following factors: website usability, the sign-up, and therapist matching processes, therapist qualifications, types of therapy offered, the service’s quality of care, client-therapist communication options, session length, subscription offerings, client data safety, average cost and value for money, whether it accepts insurance, how easy it is to change therapists, overall user satisfaction, and the likelihood that clients would recommend them.

We also signed up for the companies in order to get a sense of how this process worked, how easy to use the platform is, and how therapy takes place at the company. 


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