5 TV and Movie Characters With an Anxious Attachment Style

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Attachment theory refers to the psychological phenomenon around how humans form attachments to each other. In infancy and early childhood, our primary attachment is to our caregiver(s), and these early attachments inform how we relate to others, impacting relationships for the rest of our lives. While your attachment style can change in response to therapy, trauma, or other life events, understanding your attachment style can help you communicate and connect in healthy ways.

Fictional media, while disconnected from reality, can provide us with examples of what different attachment styles look like and how they manifest. We can look at the relationships between characters and explore how this reflects attachment styles.

Anxious Attachment Overview

Anxious attachment occurs when someone is highly insecure in their relationships, which can cause them to appear “needy,” fear abandonment, and cling to partners while struggling to trust them. It is believed that this attachment style is caused by inconsistent caregiver responses in childhood, such as when a parent is sometimes supportive but other times emotionally unavailable.

Dr. Katelyn Campbell, PsyD, shares: “Anxious attachment style is characterized by a persistent fear of abandonment which leads to anxious behaviors where the person feels the need to constantly ‘check’ the safety of the relationship. This can look like asking for repeated reassurances from their partners, re-analyzing interactions, hypervigilance to changes in their partners emotions or behaviors, and struggling with low self-worth.”

Brianna Angele, mental health therapist, states: “Anxious attachment style is when you’re insecure about the relationship, and pursue the other person for reassurance on a regular basis, or find yourself ruminating (thinking a lot) about the relationship all the time, wondering if things are okay.”

These 5 TV and movie characters demonstrate how anxious attachment style can look.

Donkey in Shrek

Dreamworks.

Shrek is an animated film about an ogre who goes on a quest to rescue a princess. He unwillingly receives help from Donkey, a talking donkey who latches onto Shrek and decides that they are best friends.

Donkey’s clingy nature is central to their relationship, and he remains latched onto Shrek despite Shrek’s efforts to alienate him (due to Shrek’s avoidant attachment style). However, subsequent movies in the franchise show Donkey developing healthier attachments and relationships.

Marlin in Finding Nemo

Pixar Animation.

In Finding Nemo, Marlin is the overprotective father of the clownfish Nemo. Marlin is overprotective because his wife and hundreds of his children were killed by a barracuda, leaving Marlin and Nemo as the only survivors. Marlin’s overprotectiveness causes Nemo to act out and rebel, which leads to his capture and Marlin’s subsequent adventures trying to find him.

This film is a great example of how attachment style can change in response to trauma. Marlin’s anxiety emerged after his spouse and children were killed, causing him to fear that he could lose his one surviving son.

Bella in Twilight: New Moon

Summit Entertainment


In the second film/book in the Twilight franchise, the vampire Edward decides that he needs to distance himself from Bella for her safety. He and his family leave her behind, and he tells her she will never see him again.

This sets off an episode of what appears to be catatonia, where Bella does not eat, sleep, or interact with her friends because she cannot handle being away from Edward. Even when people are concerned and try to force her to interact, she begins engaging in dangerous behaviors because it causes her to hallucinate that Edward has returned. She puts her life in danger multiple times trying to “see” him.

Rebecca in Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

The CW


In Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Rebecca Bunch moves across the country to be near her high school camp boyfriend, Josh, even though they have not had contact in a decade. Her fixation on Josh leads to her sabotaging his relationships as well as her own. Her fear of abandonment is so intense that she ends up having a mental health crisis and is later diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.

Rebecca is a fantastic example of how attachment style can change, though—by the end of the series, with the help of her therapist, she has learned much healthier ways of connecting with others and with herself.

Ross in Friends

NBC


In seasons two and three of the sitcom Friends, we see struggles in Ross and Rachel’s long-term relationship. When Rachel gets a job at Bloomingdales, she begins focusing on her work more, which brings out jealousy and neediness in Ross. He becomes convinced that she will leave him for her co-worker, Mark. Their arguments culminate in Rachel asking for the famous “break,” during which Ross sleeps with someone else.

Dr. Campbell described Ross as “the quintessential anxiously attached character” because “His emotions were often dictated by the behaviors of others and he found himself preoccupied with potential threats to the safety of his romantic relationships. This style was also demonstrated by how emotionally reactive he became in response to even small social threats (no one can forget the outburst he had when his co-worker ate his Thanksgiving sandwich).”

This is another example of an attachment style changing in adulthood, as Ross later realizes that he was not anxiously attached prior to his marriage to Carol. The trauma of her leaving him for Susan caused him to become convinced that future partners will leave him in the same way.

Recognizing Attachment Styles in Yourself and Others

Because many people form their attachment style very early in life, we do not always consciously think about how we attach and relate to other people, or how that attachment style impacts the quality of our relationships. If you have never thought about it before, you might benefit from exploring which attachment style you have.

This knowledge can help you better understand your emotional responses in relationships, how you communicate, and what your needs are. It can also help you recognize the ways that your communication style may be unhealthy and cause problems in your relationships.

For example, if your attachment style is anxious, your fear of losing your loved ones or being abandoned might cause you to push them away, leading to a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Dr. Campbell shared: “Recognizing your attachment style can help you build stronger, safer relationships with others and also yourself. You can develop awareness of what relational challenges may activate an urge to pursue or withdraw away from your relationships. You can also identify what behaviors to practice in order to build trust in yourself and make your attachment style more secure.”

According to Angele, “When we know our attachment style, we can recognize our patterns, the common pitfalls we experience in relationships. We can be more aware of what triggers our fears and insecurities, and our default reactions. Once we have that information, we can begin to respond differently and learn healthier, more secure ways to connect and communicate our wants/needs.”

Fortunately, you can challenge and change harmful behaviors and unhealthy patterns in your relationship. Recognizing what you want to change is an essential first step.

What Attachment Styles Can Teach Us About Relationships

Whether your attachment style developed in early childhood or in response to events later in your life, understanding your attachment style can help you understand your behaviors and emotional responses in relationships.

When you recognize why certain circumstances bring about certain responses, you can give yourself compassion when you do not respond the way you want to. You can also use this knowledge to heal from traumas that caused you to develop the anxious attachment style.

According to Dr. Campbell: “People can learn a lot about their attachment style by examining what they do when there is conflict in their relationships: Do you feel compelled to immediately resolve the issue no matter what? Does the idea of taking space to cool off seem intolerable? Do you find yourself trying to win back someone by being charming, generous, or overly apologetic? Or, do you tend to isolate, shut down, or avoid addressing the conflict? Do you reassure yourself by saying ‘I don’t really need them’? Do you go into a self-critical place where you berate yourself for perceived deficits and isolate from everyone? Understanding these patterns will likely illuminate which attachment style you most identify with.”

Angele says that “People don’t have the same style in *every* relationship, but typically a dominant one. Being aware of our patterns can empower us to take control of our relationships and not let fear dictate our intimate connections. we can learn to communicate our wants and needs hopefully, authentically, trusting our relationships are stronger than our natural (or rather learned) instincts lead us to believe.”

Getting support for unhealthy attachment style and patterns can lead to more fulfilling connections and relationships, as well as reduced anxiety overall.

Headshot of Amy Marschall

By Amy Marschall, PsyD

Dr. Amy Marschall is an autistic clinical psychologist with ADHD, working with children and adolescents who also identify with these neurotypes among others. She is certified in TF-CBT and telemental health.




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Is Adrenal Fatigue Real? What Doctors Say

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You feel tired and irritable all the time. You’re having difficulty sleeping, you can’t concentrate at work or school, you’re craving junk food, and maybe even coming down with more illnesses than usual. 

After a quick search online or a talk with a friend, you might encounter a condition called adrenal fatigue. It’s becoming more popular as a diagnosis due to the increased awareness we have of the impact of stress on our minds and bodies. There are lots of causes of chronic stress, from work and money to our relationships with partners, family members, and friends, and some people claim that chronic stress can lead to adrenal fatigue.

However, adrenal fatigue is not recognized as an official diagnosis by the medical community. It’s a term used to describe symptoms that can differ from person to person and are generally caused by chronic stress.

So, what’s the truth? And, regardless of whether the symptoms you’re experiencing are from adrenal fatigue or simply chronic stress or anxiety, what can you do to help yourself? Let’s take a closer look. 

Understanding Adrenal Fatigue

First off, what are the adrenal glands? You’ll find these triangle-shaped endocrine glands on top of the kidneys. They release hormones that affect a lot of the body’s processes, from regulating metabolism to managing stress to supporting the immune system.  

Raj Dasgupta, MD

Adrenal fatigue is not a real medical diagnosis and multiple studies have shown that adrenal fatigue is not a medical condition.

When the adrenal glands don’t make enough hormones, this is known as adrenal insufficiency—which you might have seen referred to as Addison’s disease. Some people believe adrenal fatigue to be a mild form of adrenal insufficiency. In this condition, the adrenal glands are not able to cope with the fight-or-flight state which can be caused by chronic stress. However, there’s no medical evidence to suggest this.

Naheed Ali, MD, PhD, a health expert, physician, and senior contributor at Vera Clinic, explains, “It’s important not to confuse [adrenal failure] with adrenal insufficiency, which is a serious medical condition … and it can be tested and treated properly. The two aren’t the same, though they sometimes get lumped together.”

Lucy da Silva, MSc MBACP, a psychotherapist and the co-founder of Silva Wellness, describes adrenal fatigue as a term used to describe “chronic exhaustion and other symptoms caused by prolonged stress, where the body’s stress response system becomes overwhelmed.”

She explains that, when stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline are activated constantly, our bodies stay in a fight-or-flight state, and this can lead to the chronic stress symptoms often attributed to adrenal fatigue. She uses the phrase “the body keeps the score” to highlight how the body stores the effects of stress over time.

Of both recent stressors and long-term exposure to stress factors, as well as the pressure to achieve and perform, she says, “Recognizing these patterns and the cumulative impact of stress is leading more people to seek understanding, healing, and ways to restore balance in their lives.”

The Scientific Perspective

“Adrenal fatigue is a term inappropriately used to explain feeling constantly tired, stressed, or burnt out,” says Raj Dasgupta, MD. “Adrenal fatigue is not a real medical diagnosis and multiple studies have shown that adrenal fatigue is not a medical condition. The adrenal glands don’t ‘wear out’ the way this theory suggests, and there is no scientific evidence to back it up.”

The symptoms people experience—and might attribute to adrenal fatigue—are very real. But it’s not down to adrenal fatigue. As Dr. Ali puts it, “The adrenal glands don’t just ‘burn out’ from stress.”

Chronic stress and the effects it can have on the mind and body shouldn’t be taken lightly, and it’s important to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. Rather than adrenal fatigue, could there be other issues along with stress, like an iron deficiency, a thyroid imbalance, or a dietary gap?

Da Silva points out that stress does have an impact on the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, the system that regulates cortisol levels, and can cause dysregulation. While researchers are still trying to find out more about the origin of this dysregulation, it remains true that HPA axis dysregulation can contribute to many of the symptoms sometimes described as being part of adrenal fatigue.

Medical and Alternative Views

The overwhelming medical view is that adrenal fatigue is not a legitimate diagnosis, and it’s sometimes referred to as a “pseudo-endocrine disorder” as a result. As Dr. Ali says, despite its popularity in alternative medicine, “Mainstream medicine doesn’t support it because the science behind it just isn’t there.”

However, there are people who believe that adrenal fatigue is real—and some have first-hand experience. Joanna Chodorowska, a holistic nutrition coach and the founder of Nutrition In Motion, says that she had adrenal exhaustion in the past and compares it to chronic fatigue. She says, “I was seeing a holistic doctor at the time … he ran an adrenal stress index test and it confirmed I had fried my adrenals.”

Likewise, Cina Hoey, LCSW, a licensed psychotherapist, says, “I believe adrenal fatigue is very real and is a result of unmanaged chronic stress for extended periods of time,” giving root causes including self-abandonment, low self-worth, codependency, and people-pleasing. 

But while the concept of adrenal fatigue is a contentious one, the fact that it is a concept at all is a reflection of the struggles with stress that many of us face, and the very real impact that stress has on our health.

Potential Causes and Symptoms

“If someone believes they have adrenal fatigue, what they’re really noticing is likely a combination of things,” says Dr. Ali. “Poor sleep, lack of proper nutrition, high stress levels, and maybe not enough physical activity—it all adds up. When you address these areas, the symptoms often improve.”

Naheed Ali, MD PhD

The bottom line is that while adrenal fatigue as a diagnosis isn’t supported, the symptoms people feel are real and deserve attention.

The potential causes of adrenal fatigue are often very similar to the factors that can cause chronic stress. Dr. Dasguspta adds, “People who believe in adrenal fatigue think it’s caused by long-term stress making the adrenal glands unable to produce enough hormones like cortisol,” so, again, stress is the culprit.

Among the most common symptoms attributed to adrenal fatigue include:

  • Persistent fatigue and low energy
  • Difficulty concentrating and brain fog
  • Trouble sleeping
  • Mood swings and irritability
  • Weakened immune system 
  • Craving salty and sugary foods
  • Feeling like you need caffeine to function

Addressing Symptoms and Seeking Help

Regardless of whether adrenal fatigue exists or not, as da Silva says, the symptoms “underscore the need to address chronic stress and its effects on both physical and mental health.”

You might find that your doctor suggests another condition. As mentioned, there could be a thyroid issue or an iron deficiency, as well as anything from depression to chronic fatigue syndrome to a sleep disorder like obstructive sleep apnea. If your adrenal glands are involved, Addison’s disease could be a possibility, rather than adrenal fatigue.

Where chronic stress is causing your symptoms, taking steps to improve sleep, practice mindfulness, and eat well can help you. You may also find therapy useful, in exploring unresolved stress and trauma, or try practices like breathwork or movement.

Conclusion

Generally speaking, the science doesn’t support the idea that adrenal fatigue is a legitimate diagnosis. But if you’re struggling, and it sounds like it would explain the symptoms you’re experiencing, there is support out there.

As Dr. Dasgupta says, “If you’re feeling this way, it’s a good idea to check in with a doctor to rule out any underlying health issues and find out what’s really going on. In the meantime, try things like managing stress, getting good sleep, eating well, and staying active—these can make a real difference in your energy levels and how you’re feeling overall.”

Dr. Ali adds, “The bottom line is that while adrenal fatigue as a diagnosis isn’t supported, the symptoms people feel are real and deserve attention. It’s not about dismissing someone’s experience but looking deeper to figure out what’s really going on and how to help.”

Many of us are living with chronic stress and other issues that affect our physical and mental health, so you’re definitely not alone. But speaking to your physician or a mental health professional could go a long way to helping you manage—and work out exactly what’s going on. 


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