Signs, Effects, and Ways to Cope

Key Takeaways

Anxiety can make people overly dependent, controlling, or avoidant in relationships.
Talking to a partner about anxiety can help manage its effects on relationships.
Therapy and relaxation techniques are useful for managing anxiety in relationships.

Anxiety can negatively impact many aspects of your life, including your relationships. Not only can anxiety affect how you function in your daily life, but it can also interfere with your ability to communicate and connect with other people.

Having an anxiety disorder can impact relationships in different ways. Understanding the different ways feelings of anxiety might interfere with your relationships can help you find ways to cope.

This article explores a few specific ways in which your anxiety can lead to problems maintaining connections with others, as well as strategies you can implement (on your own or under the guidance of a mental health professional) to help you navigate these unhealthy attachment patterns.

Signs of Anxiety in Relationships

There are a number of behaviors that people might engage in when they are experiencing anxiety in relationships. Some of these signs include:

Worrying that the other person is lying
Fearing that the other person likes other people better
Worrying about the other person cheating
Worrying that their anxiety will negatively affect the relationship
Overthinking every conversation, phone call, or text
Pushing people away first in order to avoid rejection
Feeling you need to control how your partner spends their time and who they talk to
Feeling jealous when your partner spends time with others or wants some time alone
Avoiding relationships altogether

People won’t necessarily experience or exhibit all of these symptoms to the same degree. The way that each person experiences anxiety in a relationship depends on the nature and severity of their anxiety condition.

People who have anxiety disorders are more likely to be single and have higher rates of divorce.

How Anxiety Affects Relationships

There are a few major ways that anxiety can impact a relationship. When you are experiencing feelings of anxiety, you may respond by being either too dependent or too avoidant. Both responses can take a toll on how you interact and communicate with others.

Dependence

Some people with anxiety have an intense desire for closeness to their partners (or friends), depending on them constantly for support and reassurance.

Along with being overly dependent, people with anxiety may find themselves prone to:

Overthinking
Planning for all worst-case scenarios
Being indecisive
Fearing rejection
Seeking out constant communication (and getting anxious if a partner or friend does not respond quickly)

People with anxiety and overly dependent relationships may also struggle with anger toward those they feel dependent on, acting out in ways that are destructive to their relationships.

Controlling Behaviors

People who have anxiety need to control every detail of their environment in order to manage stress and find peace. Below are a few signs that you are engaged in controlling behaviors in your relationships and daily routines to minimize your anxiety:

Avoidance

On the other end of the spectrum, some people avoid relationships as a way of dealing with their anxiety. They may avoid negative emotions (for example, disappointment or frustration) by not revealing their feelings, opening up, or being vulnerable.

A person who avoids close relationships may be perceived as cold, emotionally unavailable, lacking empathy, or even standoffish, even though they may long for closeness.

One study found that people with social anxiety disorder were less likely to receive support from their romantic partners and that less support and more severe anxiety symptoms increased the likelihood of breaking up.

Treatment for Anxiety in Relationships

If anxiety is hurting your relationships, it is important to talk to a healthcare practitioner or mental health professional. There are treatments that can help you manage your anxiety, improve your communication, and develop healthier interpersonal relationships.

Medications

Medication is often an essential part of anxiety treatment. While the medications prescribed for anxiety, like selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, are not curative, they can help decrease your symptoms and help you feel better as you rework your anxious thoughts and behaviors with your therapist.

Medications are often most effective when they are used in conjunction with psychotherapy.

Psychotherapy

Various types of therapy can help treat anxiety disorders, including cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), and exposure therapy. Such therapies can also improve communication in relationships.

A therapist who specializes in one type of talk therapy called cognitive-behavioral therapy can help you devise strategies to reassure yourself and take thoughtful action on your own instead of needing your partner for comfort each time you are anxious.

If you find yourself being overly distant in your relationships, cognitive behavioral therapy, along with other types of therapy, such as psychodynamic psychotherapy, may be helpful. A mental health professional can help one explore past and present relationships and the emotions surrounding those interpersonal connections.

A therapist will also help you understand how anxiety impacts your relationships. For instance, exploring your emotions more deeply may be a good strategy for someone who tends to be avoidant.

Coping With Anxiety in Relationships

In addition to professional help, there are also tactics and strategies that people can use to help manage feelings of anxiety when they are in a relationship.

If you find yourself developing overly dependent attachments, developing ways to cope with your anxiety and relying more on yourself to feel better can take the pressure off your partner or friend.

For instance, if you find yourself becoming angry or suspicious in these relationships, first remind yourself that your thoughts may be fueled by your anxiety. Then, take a few moments to think about any facts that support your worry and try to regain some perspective.

Other techniques that might be helpful include:

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you deal with personal anxiety in relationships?

The first step is to identify what is behind your personal anxiety and look for ways to soothe yourself. It can also be helpful to talk about your anxiety with your partner or other loved ones. Develop routines that help minimize your stress and anxiety while practicing self-care and relaxation strategies to ease feelings of anxiety.

How do people with anxiety act in relationships?

People with anxiety may sometimes respond by either seeking reassurance or avoiding rejection. Seeking excessive reassurance can lead to clinginess or dependence, while fear of rejection might contribute to avoidance and other symptoms that negatively affect relationships with others.

How does anxiety create problems in relationships?

Anxiety can lead to excessive worry, anger, or irritability. Constantly seeking reassurance can be stressful for both people in the relationship and contribute to arguments. On the other hand, anxiety can also contribute to being overly controlling or becoming avoidant and detached, which makes it hard to form a meaningful connection.

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Signs, Effects, and Ways to Cope