Love Addiction: Definition, Symptoms, Causes, Treatment

Love addiction (also known as affective dependence, affective addiction, and emotional dependence) is a condition that causes a person to develop an unhealthy and obsessive fixation with a love interest.

Humans are naturally wired to enjoy feelings of love and affection. However, some people develop feelings that extend past normal, healthy interest and into love addiction.

Although more common in romantic relationships, love addiction can occur within families, in friendships, and even with strangers.

Symptoms of Love Addiction

Love addiction looks a little different from person to person. The most commonly identifiable symptom of love addiction is an unhealthy fixation on another person that causes obsessive compulsions, such as calling them too frequently, attempting to control them, or even stalking them. This makes creating and maintaining mutually beneficial relationships especially difficult for people with love addiction.

Other ways love addiction can manifest include:

• Feeling lost or uprooted without a partner
• Feeling overly dependent on the partner
• Prioritizing the relationship with a partner over family and friends
• Becoming depressed and obsessed with a love interest when romantic advances aren’t reciprocated
• Constantly seeking romantic relationships regardless of quality
• Feeling despondent without a romantic partner or relationship 
• Having difficulty leaving unhealthy or toxic relationships
• Making poor decisions based on emotions felt toward a partner or love interest (e.g., quitting a job or cutting ties with family)
• Obsessively thinking of the other person to the point of disruption

There are many more possible symptoms and signs of love addiction; they vary in type and severity from person to person and with styles of expressing affection. Some signs, like calling frequently, can seem harmless unless they begin to affect the daily life of either partner. Other signs are more obvious, such as stalking a love interest or restricting who they interact with. 

Identifying Love Addiction 

Whether love addiction should be classified as an actual mental health condition is up for debate. In fact, the “Diagnostic Manual of Mental Health Disorders” doesn’t recognize it as one. However, many experts feel there’s enough evidence to consider it as an independent mental disorder. This makes identifying the condition tricky.

In 2019, researchers developed a framework they dubbed “The Love Addiction Inventory,” a questionnaire that can help diagnose a suspected love addiction.

Causes of Love Addiction 

Research on the causes and triggers of the condition is lacking, but factors such as trauma and genetics likely play a role. Research also shows a connection between the euphoria of being in love and the feelings of pleasure a person with substance use disorder might have.

Researchers drew parallels between the way a person in love and a person addicted to a substance might act. People in both groups might experience emotional dependency, cravings, mood swings, compulsions, obsessions, and loss of self-control. When you are in love, your brain releases chemical messengers that make you feel good, like dopamine. These same patterns occur with substance abuse and addiction.

Other common triggers of love addiction include: 

• Abandonment issues
• Low self esteem 
• Emotional or sexual abuse
• A traumatic relationship
• Childhood trauma

Treatment for Love Addiction 

Healthcare providers diagnose and treat this issue similarly to other forms of addiction, generally with therapy. Like other aspects of the condition, psychotherapy’s effectiveness for love addiction hasn’t been studied in depth.

The most common form of therapy used to treat addiction is cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). With CBT, the therapist helps the person uncover and cope with causes and triggers for addictive compulsions and behaviors. 

No medications treat this condition specifically, although some research shows that antidepressants and mood stabilizers might help with symptoms of obsession and impulsivity in some situations. 

People who are addicted to love cannot identify why their obsessions are problematic or admit that they’re obsessed. So as with other addictions, recognizing the problem is a difficult but essential first step.

Coping With Love Addiction 

If you have a love addiction, try these tips to cope with your condition as you seek help: 

• Learn to be alone: When you’re not involved with a romantic partner, take the opportunity to spend time alone. Explore the reasons and triggers for your addiction and make some progress in your treatment before entering a new relationship. 
• Look out for recurring patterns: A love addict typically exhibits the same pattern of behavior with any love interest. Review your romantic history and identify any recurring patterns. 
• Invest in yourself: Pursuing self-growth is a great way to fall in love with yourself. People with love addiction often neglect themselves and their needs.
• Rely on friends and family: Although it might be difficult, share what you’re going through with people you love and trust.
• Join a support group. You’re not alone. A support group will put you in contact with people who are experiencing and coping with what you’re feeling.